Speaker 1: The Nicky Glizer Podcast. Glaser, here's Nikki. Hello here, I
Speaker 1: am welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: It's Nicky Glazer Podcast live from Hollywood, California, in person
Speaker 2: with my co host Brian Frangie, live for us, Live
Speaker 2: to tape. Yeah, yeah, I guess I could.
Speaker 3: Everything that we're doing is live.
Speaker 1: It is. It's this live is a lie. It is
Speaker 1: a lot.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's live to tape. But people say that a
Speaker 2: lot in Hollywood. They're like, it's live to tape.
Speaker 3: Because Hollywood is full of bullshit. Artists don't know they're
Speaker 3: doing anymore.
Speaker 2: I'm doing something live coming up that's live live, and
Speaker 2: it's a rare thing that things are live anymore. My
Speaker 2: show on MTV was live. Really Yeah, Nicky and Sarah
Speaker 2: was the first TV show I ever did. We were
Speaker 2: just like three two one and it's like on air.
Speaker 4: No, Well, did you slip up or anything? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I stumbled a little bit. There was like a teleprompter
Speaker 2: that's been to police. See everyone.
Speaker 5: He's two and three, So nice to be here.
Speaker 2: Thanks comedian hilarious. Follow him on Instagram. I had no
Speaker 2: idea how many follows.
Speaker 4: I think they're all they're all fake, you know.
Speaker 1: The number. You know the you know the number? Can
Speaker 1: I think it was seven? Yeah?
Speaker 3: That on Instagram.
Speaker 5: But I've lost so many recently from Lovers and Liars.
Speaker 5: Why what do you guys me to do?
Speaker 1: I like that they're already following you.
Speaker 2: They watch you on Lovers and Liars and they go
Speaker 2: unfollow That really happened?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, how many Instagram or TikTok?
Speaker 4: This is Instagram?
Speaker 3: So Instagram you.
Speaker 1: Had like five because you're advertising it.
Speaker 2: That's why it's not like they watch the show and
Speaker 2: go I'm going to go unfollow this guy. They see
Speaker 2: the ads you're doing now you're on reality show, and
Speaker 2: they're like, fuck this guy, he's sold out.
Speaker 5: One guy goes less self promo please. I was like,
Speaker 5: I got It's okay, we'll get it. We'll get him back,
Speaker 5: we'll get it.
Speaker 3: How many followers do you feel like you lost because.
Speaker 1: Of he had six thousands for Boys three.
Speaker 5: It's for f Boy three. It was like ten thousand
Speaker 5: and six thousand people the first episode. Wow, more people.
Speaker 2: On followed you because of your ads for the show
Speaker 2: then watched the actual I'm on the show.
Speaker 4: Too, though, Like I'm not just promoting your show out
Speaker 4: of nowhere. Like, I'm on that.
Speaker 1: For you. That's crazy.
Speaker 2: That just shows you, like and if you if you
Speaker 2: were to get a girlfriend, they would fall off to
Speaker 2: oh yeah, like if you were to post anything that
Speaker 2: like made it feel like these people didn't own you
Speaker 2: in some way yours. Yeah, because when you make content
Speaker 2: where you're just doing like who's buying this?
Speaker 4: Or you're doing your.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the polite cat calling is that what it's called
Speaker 2: polite cat calling? So he does these like videos where
Speaker 2: he's in the street with a megaphone and he will
Speaker 2: heckle and like roast people, but it's all polite roast.
Speaker 5: I did in West Hollywood and they ate it up
Speaker 5: really right by the abbey.
Speaker 1: What is like, what are some of the things you
Speaker 1: shot at people?
Speaker 5: I was like this guy had like glasses on he
Speaker 5: was walking across the crosswalk and I was like, damn
Speaker 5: dog and like everybody's like and I was like, you
Speaker 5: look like you know how to use Microsoft Excel like
Speaker 5: just die And his girlfriend was.
Speaker 1: Like he good at it.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's so fun. So he does those and then
Speaker 2: also who's buying this?
Speaker 1: Really makes me laugh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he just finds like an insane product, like like, uh.
Speaker 1: What's there's like pickle favored mustard.
Speaker 5: There's insane, there's like ranch cream, like there's just people
Speaker 5: will send me just like insane stuff, and I'm like,
Speaker 5: all right.
Speaker 4: Man, let's do it finding the store and to find
Speaker 4: eat it.
Speaker 1: But a while you were just going like who was
Speaker 1: buying this?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now you got to do that ship.
Speaker 3: Like the symptom of a downfall of the society is
Speaker 3: to have frivolous products like that. Yeah, it's the beginning
Speaker 3: of the end.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yes, the fact that our society is capable of producing ranch,
Speaker 3: ranch face cream or whatever the fuck is a bad
Speaker 3: sign for it.
Speaker 1: It's not good.
Speaker 3: We have too much leisure. We should be at war.
Speaker 2: Well, I was listening to Tim Dylan podcast the other
Speaker 2: day and I already knew this, but just bears repeating.
Speaker 2: The most countries don't allow the things we put in
Speaker 2: our food in their food supply. They they it's illegal
Speaker 2: to sell the stuff that we have that you can
Speaker 2: buy at seven eleven.
Speaker 1: It's legal in other because they know the harm it does.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, that seven elevens coffee reminds me of being broke.
Speaker 1: The taste of it.
Speaker 2: It's a taste of it because It is affordable and
Speaker 2: it is good, but the smell and taste of it
Speaker 2: reminds me of really hard times being hungover in La
Speaker 2: It was, but it was the one treat of my day.
Speaker 2: It was like the most delicious thing. I would put
Speaker 2: those French vanilla creamers in. What do you put in
Speaker 2: your black right?
Speaker 5: Of course you are, but I don't know why I'm
Speaker 5: doing that.
Speaker 4: I'm not doing it for the taste, yeah, just the
Speaker 4: it's the drug.
Speaker 3: You're doing it for the look.
Speaker 1: Celsius, do you do those?
Speaker 2: I tried one of those this weekend and I mean
Speaker 2: it's brain. It didn't even stop. It just went right
Speaker 2: through me and it arctic blasted out of my eye
Speaker 2: like it was. It caused immense diarrhea right away.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. It was crazy.
Speaker 3: Great Wallace video about Celsius. Yeah, you shared it with me. Actually,
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe, oh yeah, maybe that was one.
Speaker 2: But it's it's that stuff that ruinds me of monster energy,
Speaker 2: which I used to be addicted to as well. But yeah, coffee,
Speaker 2: it's the first thing you think about in the morning.
Speaker 2: I'm so excited and it sucks that the second one
Speaker 2: isn't as good as the first that's when you know
Speaker 2: it's like a real addiction. First hit, it's so good,
Speaker 2: it's so so good. And then you got me a
Speaker 2: diet coke at seven eleven, which was so freaking nice
Speaker 2: of you.
Speaker 1: I gotta he doesn't.
Speaker 3: I don't think it's.
Speaker 2: It's getting to the point where I'm drinking so many
Speaker 2: that they're not special anymore.
Speaker 1: They used to feel like.
Speaker 2: A cigarette, like when you're being bad, and now I'm
Speaker 2: doing them all the time, and I'm like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: just smoking a packadet.
Speaker 3: You need to connect the coke with an event as
Speaker 3: a reward.
Speaker 6: Weed.
Speaker 2: I only smoke weed after after I'm done with things,
Speaker 2: or right before if I'm like right before if I
Speaker 2: go on if I'm like really feeling like right before
Speaker 2: I go on stage, I am feeling like really just
Speaker 2: bored and like no just no energy and just feeling
Speaker 2: like kind of sad and like what am I doing?
Speaker 1: Imposter syndrome.
Speaker 2: If I just like the tiniest puff from a vape,
Speaker 2: like the littlest one, I just it just gives me energy.
Speaker 2: It's that's what we does for me. I mean, it
Speaker 2: ultimately makes you kind of stupid if you do it
Speaker 2: too much. But for me, weed right away makes me like,
Speaker 2: oh fun, like everything it's okay, Yeah, it's like it's
Speaker 2: not it's energy and like mental energy as opposed to
Speaker 2: like physical I guess coffee gives me like physical energy,
Speaker 2: but my brain will still be slow on coffee.
Speaker 4: Sometimes that does not. Weed does not make me smart.
Speaker 1: Or no, it doesn't make you smart.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it does make my brain work a little bit
Speaker 2: smarter and faster and more creative. But ultimately I think
Speaker 2: it makes you hungry, really stupid and hungry. No, it
Speaker 2: curbs my hunger. What it does like the opposite for
Speaker 2: me that it's.
Speaker 3: Supposed to do smart and not hungry.
Speaker 1: Not smart.
Speaker 2: It definitely makes my brain forget things more like when
Speaker 2: I because I've got I've been everything from like a
Speaker 2: just a little choke before a show, a little bit
Speaker 2: afterwards with surprise, to like smoking as soon as I waken,
Speaker 2: bake all day long, and that kind of lifestyle. If
Speaker 2: you're smoking weed throughout the day, yeah, it just makes
Speaker 2: you really dumb and it makes you forget things in
Speaker 2: the middle of the sentence. I've talked about this before,
Speaker 2: but I was smoking so much weed at some points
Speaker 2: I was going on stage, and I would be in
Speaker 2: the middle of a joke. I'm in the middle of
Speaker 2: a setup and not remember what I was even talking about.
Speaker 2: I would forget what I'm talking about. It's the middle
Speaker 2: of a sent like a word like not just like,
Speaker 2: oh I got distracted.
Speaker 4: What was I just talking about?
Speaker 2: I'm talking about it and I'm forgetting what I'm talking about. Well,
Speaker 2: and that's when I had to like go to a
Speaker 2: marijuana's anonymous meeting and be like, I think I have
Speaker 2: a problem.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there is that. And I went to one and
Speaker 1: I got out at it.
Speaker 2: He was like this one guy was sharing and what
Speaker 2: you're not supposed to do in a meeting. I probably
Speaker 2: shouldn't even say I went to one, because it does
Speaker 2: work for people if you're addicted to marijuana. I truly
Speaker 2: believe that. I just didn't stay in it, and so
Speaker 2: I still smoke. But this my first meeting, which you're
Speaker 2: like scared to go because you're like, this is really
Speaker 2: a problem I have and should I even be talking
Speaker 2: about this? And like and you're it's supposed to be
Speaker 2: anonymous for even a person that isn't have any level
Speaker 2: of fame. So I go to this and I think
Speaker 2: I shared because it was like first timers or like
Speaker 2: anyone here here for the first time. And I want
Speaker 2: to just say, if you ever go to a twelve
Speaker 2: step meeting and they go, who's here for the first time,
Speaker 2: you do not have to say me. You can just
Speaker 2: sit there silently. No one's gonna be like, we've never
Speaker 2: seen you, why aren't you raising your hand? Like there's
Speaker 2: no rules in twelve step meetings, which is the greatest
Speaker 2: thing ever. So even if they're like, if this is
Speaker 2: your first time, tell us about your name, you literally
Speaker 2: no one will be like you haven't been your share like,
Speaker 2: you can sit there silently, So don't ever let that
Speaker 2: be a reason you don't go is because you are
Speaker 2: scared to share, because you won't have to share. Ever,
Speaker 2: you don't have to do anything you don't want to
Speaker 2: do in a twelfsted meeting. It's the only place in
Speaker 2: the world where there's no expectations of you, but there
Speaker 2: is to fucking not say anyone else's name. But even
Speaker 2: if you fuck that up, no one yells at you.
Speaker 2: There's no yelling like this guy. So I shared because
Speaker 2: I felt like it and I was like, I'm here,
Speaker 2: I don't know if I really belong here. Here's my
Speaker 2: relationship with weed.
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: This is years and years ago when I was like
Speaker 2: struggling with it and uh, and then the guy this,
Speaker 2: you know, we get to the like main shares, and
Speaker 2: this guy is like, I really didn't know if I
Speaker 2: was supposed to come today, but then I saw Nikki Glazier,
Speaker 2: one of.
Speaker 1: My favorite roasters.
Speaker 2: This is like, I've been to so many twelve step
Speaker 2: meetings for different things before.
Speaker 1: Yeah, favorite roasters. Now she.
Speaker 4: Literally roast too.
Speaker 3: Blazing.
Speaker 2: And I just was like, and I really don't really
Speaker 2: care if people recognize me in other meetings for stuff,
Speaker 2: but that one for some reason because it was my
Speaker 2: first time, and I'm like, this is kind of embarrassing.
Speaker 2: This is something I'm shamed about. I really was not
Speaker 2: in the mood for it, and so I just got
Speaker 2: off the meeting and used that as an excuse to
Speaker 2: never go back, because I was like, my.
Speaker 1: Enemy was broken, so I'll never return. So I yes,
Speaker 1: because I just wanted to keep talking weed. So that
Speaker 1: was my excuse.
Speaker 2: But it did happen, and it was unbelievable to be
Speaker 2: and you can tell that maybe someone probably messaged him like, Hey,
Speaker 2: that's not cool to do, but that guy I didn't
Speaker 2: suffer anything. So if you go into an AA meeting
Speaker 2: or a twelve step meeting and you fuck up the
Speaker 2: rules because there's tons, no one's gonna yell at you
Speaker 2: about it. Everyone understands that everyone does it, and people
Speaker 2: break in anymity all the freaking time.
Speaker 3: That guy's name.
Speaker 2: If you know anyone who's ever been to a twelve set,
Speaker 2: meaning they're breaking a rule. Me just saying I went
Speaker 2: to a twelve sub meeting is breaking a rule? Do
Speaker 2: you know why this is very interesting?
Speaker 3: Yourself? Can now you shouldn't.
Speaker 2: Reveal yourself because if I have never understood that because
Speaker 2: I go, if it works for you.
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you tell people about it?
Speaker 2: Like I want to scream from the rooftops about one
Speaker 2: twelve step program I was in because it helped me
Speaker 2: so much, but I can't because I have too much
Speaker 2: respect for it and I don't want to let You
Speaker 2: don't want to put your name with anything because people
Speaker 2: might do it because I do it right, and then
Speaker 2: that's good. But what if I start using again and
Speaker 2: then people will go, well it failed. We know it
Speaker 2: didn't work for her so if people it's not good
Speaker 2: to attach your name to any anything. If you're a
Speaker 2: celebrity and you think like I'm helping by saying this,
Speaker 2: it's not helping.
Speaker 1: You're kind of you're breaking.
Speaker 3: The rule television shows. What do you mean, don't attach
Speaker 3: your name to it?
Speaker 1: And casey, you'll lose followers.
Speaker 3: Yeah that is true. What happened regrets now?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just every time I'm ever on TV, I'm just.
Speaker 1: Not No, I don't no, right you do because your
Speaker 1: life is the algorithm.
Speaker 2: Your life is the followers. That's the world of Holly influencer.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: What is it like being like really locked into it? Brian?
Speaker 3: You you try?
Speaker 2: You know, you don't know on this level where you're
Speaker 2: like every do you put up content every single day?
Speaker 3: No? No, no I could because I do cartoons, right
Speaker 3: that would be impossible.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but Benedict, you're every day you got it?
Speaker 4: I try to every day. Yeah, I try to post something?
Speaker 1: Is there?
Speaker 4: It's psych Is it hard? Yeah?
Speaker 5: Because you run out of ideas and right now, like
Speaker 5: I just moved here, like I'm trying to situate everything
Speaker 5: and it's a little more tough and like when you're
Speaker 5: on the road and stuff like that you don't have
Speaker 5: all the time.
Speaker 2: But is it like working out where it's like if
Speaker 2: you get it done early in the day, you're like
Speaker 2: the rest of the day you kind of feel like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I can just like relax until tomorrow. Or if you wait,
Speaker 2: like the second you get it done to you go
Speaker 2: what's next?
Speaker 5: Kind of never stops because you're like what other app
Speaker 5: to have to post that on? That's about like, oh Facebook,
Speaker 5: I didn't post once.
Speaker 3: It's a curse.
Speaker 4: Absolutely yeah, it's it's not good.
Speaker 1: And so what are you gonna do today? Have you
Speaker 1: thought about it?
Speaker 5: I've got to edit a clip that I already filmed.
Speaker 5: It feels good to film something and get that out
Speaker 5: of the way about like it never have to look
Speaker 5: at yourself?
Speaker 4: Then?
Speaker 1: Are you used to that at this point? You don't care?
Speaker 4: I hate it?
Speaker 1: Is it gotten easier to edit?
Speaker 4: It's gotten a little easier.
Speaker 5: But like after you like listen to a set that
Speaker 5: you did and watch like a whole thing that you filmed,
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm gonna kill myself everything.
Speaker 1: It's it's the worst.
Speaker 5: Then I do a yoga class and the mirrors right
Speaker 5: in front of me, I'm like oh my god, I
Speaker 5: like to cancel this guy.
Speaker 3: But that's when you know you've won. When you finally
Speaker 3: do it, you get to stop posting.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's true, but you can never stop posting, even
Speaker 2: if you die. Means to keep your image alive. It's true,
Speaker 2: more money now than he never did.
Speaker 1: They need to keep going.
Speaker 3: We have to feed the machine because that's how that's
Speaker 3: what our economy runs on.
Speaker 2: This morning, I haven't seen my boyfriend in a while,
Speaker 2: and he like felt myself and he was like, oh,
Speaker 2: you got some lads going and I go really like,
Speaker 2: I was like, oh wow, really because I don't feel that.
Speaker 2: I was like thanks, and he was like, and I go.
Speaker 2: The city thing is it's like, he goes, how are
Speaker 2: you feeling?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 1: You look good?
Speaker 2: I'm like, because we haven't seen each other while and
Speaker 2: I would do pilates a lot, and he's like, you
Speaker 2: look good.
Speaker 1: How are you feel?
Speaker 2: And I was like, it's just I can never stop
Speaker 2: like and he goes, I go, if I want to
Speaker 2: keep these abs like, I have to keep going every
Speaker 2: day and he goes, no, they they like he said
Speaker 2: something he was he was gonna say something else, and
Speaker 2: I go, wait, they stick. He goes no, they'll stick around,
Speaker 2: because he was saying, like, you'll keep this up, and
Speaker 2: I thought he was saying, no, they stick around, and
Speaker 2: I almost believed him that they would be that they
Speaker 2: once you get them, they'll just stay. And I have
Speaker 2: this dreamy hope that is so based on nothing. For
Speaker 2: literally zero point two seconds, I had this thing of like,
Speaker 2: once you get them, they don't go away, which I
Speaker 2: know is not true. Yeah, but imagine a world in
Speaker 2: which you get something and then it just stays at
Speaker 2: nothing like an Emmy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they can't take that away from you unless you
Speaker 3: get canceled.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then the next Emmy show up and no
Speaker 2: one gives a fuck. Like that's the thing about even
Speaker 2: the awards shows. I'm like, this is so important right now,
Speaker 2: and no one cares. No one will care here. It
Speaker 2: will be the next cycle and everyone will be caring
Speaker 2: about that cycle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you'll be old news.
Speaker 3: And then when you're you're in your sixties and you
Speaker 3: have like a few Emmys in your house and people
Speaker 3: are like, what what is this? You have Emmys? Yes?
Speaker 4: For what what'd you do? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Like in your in your in like your cabinet where
Speaker 3: your plate should be you have Emmys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's for like the Milton Burrel Hour, yea and
Speaker 2: which was the biggest show of its time or something
Speaker 2: like that. You know, it's like the most more people
Speaker 2: watch it than the super Bowl now in the seventies
Speaker 2: and no one, you couldn't pull one hundred people in
Speaker 2: the street that would have ever heard of the show.
Speaker 4: Yeah I haven't.
Speaker 1: I've just made it up.
Speaker 2: But like you know what I mean, Like there's all
Speaker 2: these like programs that happened in the seventies and eighties.
Speaker 3: On the fifties especially, like you know, everyone in the
Speaker 3: world would like watch Sid Caesar or something like that.
Speaker 3: Everybody not in the world, in the country, crazy radio,
Speaker 3: even everybody would everyone everyone listened to Sid Caesar on
Speaker 3: Sundays in the fifties. Yeah, and that was it. Everyone
Speaker 3: just knew what it was. Everyone knew what he said,
Speaker 3: all the jokes everyone got. That was it. And nowadays
Speaker 3: it's all segmented and everyone has to be their own
Speaker 3: corporation where you're it's so exciting. You're your own marketing,
Speaker 3: you're your own content creator, you your own manager, your
Speaker 3: own everything. And that's why only a few people get
Speaker 3: to make money and everyone else has to uh just
Speaker 3: post to Instagram every day.
Speaker 2: I just want what the OnlyFans girl said she had
Speaker 2: on last episode, which is like a bunch of people.
Speaker 2: And this is what I feel like with this podcast.
Speaker 2: The podcast fans they only want good for me, like
Speaker 2: they only want to see me do well. They're only
Speaker 2: seeing they seeing they love me, like they really love
Speaker 2: me in a way that's like we like you no
Speaker 2: matter if you're not that good that day or like
Speaker 2: it's unconditional love from a fanship, which is so rare
Speaker 2: to have. Like Swifties obviously, yeah, are like that everything.
Speaker 1: But she is.
Speaker 2: Perfect, so it's kind of doesn't she doesn't really ever
Speaker 2: fail your fans. Yeah, but my my fans will accept
Speaker 2: me for whatever I am, and that is I think
Speaker 2: that's what I would really like to if you could
Speaker 2: just have that where a safe space because like, yeah,
Speaker 2: like I want to do this Swifty channel that has
Speaker 2: a paywall because I want to talk about Taylor Swift
Speaker 2: and I want to geek out about it. But I
Speaker 2: don't want people to make fun of me that don't
Speaker 2: get it, you know, So I want to be comfortable.
Speaker 2: And that's what I feel about the podcast. When people
Speaker 2: listen to the podcasts who I know, don't who are
Speaker 2: going to meet a little bit judgmental of me. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like if we have on a guest and they're like
Speaker 2: I listen to a couple of episodes and we no, no,
Speaker 2: no, no no, Like you don't get it, like you're you're
Speaker 2: not who this is for. Yeah, Like watch my roast.
Speaker 2: That's like a polished thing that I'm like, here it is,
Speaker 2: And this is just like very like low stakes. This
Speaker 2: is for like my my, This is like unconditional lots
Speaker 2: for the people get where you can be without makeup
Speaker 2: in front of them and they still love you, whereas
Speaker 2: the other things I do in my life. And that's
Speaker 2: just more metaphorically. I still wear makeup on the show,
Speaker 2: but like you know, this is a stripped down version
Speaker 2: where you're like, oh, they just like me.
Speaker 3: For me, there's a makeup on your personality.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I can't make the money I make without
Speaker 2: having the like I can't be on the level I'm
Speaker 2: at without I would like this to be bigger, Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it's harder to find people that love you unconditionally
Speaker 2: like that, Like, do you feel like your fans you
Speaker 2: can trust them and do not like be mean to you.
Speaker 1: Can you read your comments and stuff?
Speaker 4: I mean them being mean to me is like part
Speaker 4: of the game.
Speaker 1: Because you're a little bit roasty as well.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like I I got it, comment like.
Speaker 2: Look at me, like you We're going to get into
Speaker 2: look at you because you were such an interesting person
Speaker 2: watching your you open for me two weeknds ago in
Speaker 2: Pachanga Casino, and your act was so self deprecating in
Speaker 2: such a really enjoyable way. Because you are an attractive
Speaker 2: hot guy that is on a show where you are.
Speaker 2: You were cast because you're a hot guy.
Speaker 4: I'm a scam.
Speaker 2: But you're also funny and that's why you were cast too,
Speaker 2: So it's not all just hot guy, but you you
Speaker 2: you stepped up the hotness and I think I relate
Speaker 2: to that a lot, where it's like you get in
Speaker 2: the door being funny and then you're like, but no,
Speaker 2: I'm actually hot too, right, and then as hard as
Speaker 2: you can and you do elevate to that level, but
Speaker 2: you always feel like a fraud, oh for sure. Okay,
Speaker 2: so we're gonna talk about that when we get back
Speaker 2: after this. All right, we're back with Benedict Pelizzi from
Speaker 2: Lovers and Liars, which you can watch right now. Second
Speaker 2: episode coming out tonight if you're listening to this on
Speaker 2: Thursday on the CW, on the CW app on Hulu. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and Benedict is looking for love this season. He's been
Speaker 2: on The F Boy Island season two and three. He
Speaker 2: was on f Bay Island season two as a nice guy,
Speaker 2: nice guy.
Speaker 1: You were there for love.
Speaker 2: You ended up being the runner up for Louise, who
Speaker 2: ended up picking Mercedes. Uh huh, the f fist of
Speaker 2: f boys that's ever.
Speaker 5: Existed, just the final boss. Absolutely, he played a good game.
Speaker 5: He's incredible in real life.
Speaker 2: Greg's the goat Mercedes follow him on Instagram. I just
Speaker 2: want to give a shout out because he's a narcissist.
Speaker 2: So I'm constantly trying to feed his ego whenever I
Speaker 2: bring him up, because I think he's going to find
Speaker 2: a way to watch this because I talked about him.
Speaker 5: And he's searching it on Google.
Speaker 1: He's as there's some way he's live streaming this, even
Speaker 1: though this is a question. Because he heard his name,
Speaker 1: He's going.
Speaker 4: To tap into it. He's in here.
Speaker 1: The thing about Mercedes is that you can as long
Speaker 1: as you're talking about him. He's fine.
Speaker 2: He doesn't even care about being made fun of because
Speaker 2: he likes being talked about and the attention, and he's
Speaker 2: so confident.
Speaker 1: He's unrattlable.
Speaker 4: Is that crazy?
Speaker 2: But he's the problem is I think I think Mercedes,
Speaker 2: no offense and actually you don't take any offense to
Speaker 2: this because I told this to your face one time
Speaker 2: when we're doing one of our sessions. You are a
Speaker 2: clinical narcissist, like not the kind that we just say
Speaker 2: our boyfriends are. And everyone has narcissistic tendencies and traits
Speaker 2: or they can and that's usually what people are saying.
Speaker 2: My boyfriend has is a narcissist. You're saying he has
Speaker 2: narcissist traits. The narcissist personality disorder is and and Mercedes
Speaker 2: would not call it a disorder. It is a thing
Speaker 2: that you can be diagnosed as that, like you know,
Speaker 2: is a it's a big diagnosis and Mercedes, and it's incurable,
Speaker 2: which is very interesting to me because narcissists don't think
Speaker 2: anything with them, so you can't cure because to be
Speaker 2: able to cure something, you have to be willing to
Speaker 2: participate in the cure.
Speaker 1: And if you don't believe it's a problem. It's it's
Speaker 1: so cool. It's actually it blows my mind that it's
Speaker 1: in cure. It's like rabies. Narcissism and rabies are the
Speaker 1: only two things that are incurable that once you get it,
Speaker 1: like you locked in with it, you.
Speaker 3: Have to put it down.
Speaker 4: Narcissist.
Speaker 1: But I told him, I was like, you're a narciss
Speaker 1: like I think you. This is the first time.
Speaker 2: I'm almost excited that I'm like talking with a real
Speaker 2: life I don't know that.
Speaker 3: Like a creature. It's like a ze.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 2: When you talk to when Piers Morgan talks to like
Speaker 2: a sociopath, if you watch those psychopaths or whatever that says,
Speaker 2: and that's as rare and interesting as a person.
Speaker 3: Not they they are very different than a normal human's brain.
Speaker 2: And when I get around a narcissist, man, do I
Speaker 2: give them what they want?
Speaker 1: It's amazing. I want Mercedes to like me so much.
Speaker 2: I am desperate for his approval, even though I don't
Speaker 2: trust him, even though I know that his personality disorder
Speaker 2: comes from a place of feeling less than which I
Speaker 2: don't judge Mercedes because I also feel less then, but
Speaker 2: you will never admit that you do. And you're just
Speaker 2: going not like this to the camera, to your phone
Speaker 2: right now as you watch it.
Speaker 1: But uh so I relate to that. I'm not That's
Speaker 1: not an indictment on you at all. But i want
Speaker 1: you to like me so much, and I'm not scared
Speaker 1: of you.
Speaker 2: I'm actually charmed by it, Like I want to look
Speaker 2: up to him. I love narcissist up to all narcissists.
Speaker 4: I'm like, Wow, good for you.
Speaker 3: So Benedict's the opposite of a narcissist.
Speaker 4: No, he's got some.
Speaker 1: Traits as we as we do. There's a part of
Speaker 1: me that like to do stand up.
Speaker 2: Comedy, to think that anyone has to shut their mouths
Speaker 2: so they can listen to you spout off about what
Speaker 2: you have to think you're better than people, or you.
Speaker 3: Think you're not. You're you're so desperate for a yeah,
Speaker 3: a little bit.
Speaker 2: But that's even Clinton. Let's even like, you know, diagnosable narcissists.
Speaker 2: That comes from a deep but they.
Speaker 3: Can't ever but everyone has that. That's what everyone's weird
Speaker 3: personality has come from the fact that they didn't get
Speaker 3: something as a child and believe that they're not worthy
Speaker 3: for some reason, and it's all a matter of how
Speaker 3: they their personality manifests from how they chose to deal
Speaker 3: with that.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's all that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, God fuck, we're a wreck.
Speaker 2: Well I want to get to bendict like you talk
Speaker 2: about on stage. You came in here today and I
Speaker 2: made a joke about spraytns and then you said, uh, yeah,
Speaker 2: I feel that I live that life two weeks a week.
Speaker 1: What is it? You can't, dude, You can't spray it
Speaker 1: on a spray TN.
Speaker 5: I know, but it like for me and probably you two,
Speaker 5: like we work out a lot. Like when you sweat,
Speaker 5: it washes off, So like do you.
Speaker 1: Scrub it all off before you go in for the
Speaker 1: second one? Nah?
Speaker 2: So you will spray on top of one, don't you
Speaker 2: just end up looking kind of dirty? I just I
Speaker 2: just scraped my skin off yesterday to get this off
Speaker 2: to get a new one to yesterday.
Speaker 4: That's why I get too, because it kind of like
Speaker 4: fills it in and.
Speaker 1: The other do you go in the booth or do
Speaker 1: you get someone to.
Speaker 4: Do it booth? Yeah, I'm all about the booth.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's much more.
Speaker 4: I've done the person one before.
Speaker 2: I've been doing the person one pretty frequently because the
Speaker 2: booth has burned me.
Speaker 1: But do you ever follow the booth?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, like so because a lot of mist
Speaker 2: is wasted to get Yes.
Speaker 1: I did, like okay, so when you're doing the booth,
Speaker 1: we could do this.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 1: So it starts like this, and it tells you to
Speaker 1: start like.
Speaker 7: This, but I will.
Speaker 3: NICKI is standing with her hands over her head as
Speaker 3: if she was in the t s A.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, maybe it was. I start like this and
Speaker 1: then I.
Speaker 3: Go doing like the Egyptian.
Speaker 1: I get it on my forearms first because it starts
Speaker 1: up here above your head because it thinks you're tall.
Speaker 1: So I get that missed and then I quickly go
Speaker 1: to this and then down start like.
Speaker 3: This, bends over like she's gonna do the deadlift, and
Speaker 3: then I get to the position.
Speaker 2: There is so much miss being wasted if you're not following,
Speaker 2: I know you.
Speaker 4: I didn't think it got my face enough one time.
Speaker 5: Oh I do a little spray and it's like I
Speaker 5: felt that worth my money.
Speaker 1: Yes, I have done.
Speaker 2: I've gone like this where I try to like collect
Speaker 2: it in the air because yeah, I just want my
Speaker 2: insights to be fucking Is there.
Speaker 3: No worry that this is maybe bad for you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course there is.
Speaker 4: I think it's better than actual.
Speaker 3: Bulbs though, oh okay, well yeah, or do you think
Speaker 3: it's Do you think it's better than the sun? The
Speaker 3: sun itself is worse than getting a spray tand do
Speaker 3: you think spray tan is probably worse?
Speaker 2: I think spray tan will end up being like extreme, Like,
Speaker 2: there's no way this stuff isn't toxic. There's some places
Speaker 2: that do it organically, but certainly not the versus.
Speaker 4: Pop Ro double black Diamond.
Speaker 1: I do the versus Spra versus pop Ro double legs.
Speaker 4: Do you I've done that double hydration?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and then yes, it's like and then the
Speaker 1: voice talks to you.
Speaker 2: I'm always like yeah, but I know to put my
Speaker 2: foot on number two and four, like can we just
Speaker 2: can you just do it?
Speaker 1: We could do this so.
Speaker 2: Much faster if you didn't have to talk to me
Speaker 2: here twice a week, girl, Like, I know, the moves.
Speaker 1: It's crazy.
Speaker 2: So it's like the same moves as the TSA where
Speaker 2: you have to like stand and it scans you. But
Speaker 2: people don't know about spraytand life. But it's just like
Speaker 2: you just feels so much better about yourself when you
Speaker 2: have Yeah.
Speaker 4: Right when I walk out, I'm like, you get hurt.
Speaker 2: Don't you feel like people tell you you look better
Speaker 2: and you get more positive feedback when you.
Speaker 4: Have a spray hand same day.
Speaker 5: It's crazy. Yes, why do you look you're glowing right now.
Speaker 5: I'm like, huh, it's crazy unless.
Speaker 2: You ten pounds thinner, at least, it's really changes everything.
Speaker 2: It's like it's no joke. Actually, this weekend a girl
Speaker 2: came up to me and said, my dad listens me
Speaker 2: and my dad listened to your podcast, and he's really
Speaker 2: against anything toxic and all this stuff, but he said,
Speaker 2: you can get a spray tand because Nikky Glazer gets one,
Speaker 2: that was really cool I've heard. Yeah, because it does
Speaker 2: change your life in such a profound way, like the
Speaker 2: amount of the attention you get and the people just
Speaker 2: you know, girls and guys. I'm not just talking about guys.
Speaker 2: Everyone just like thinks you look better, and you do.
Speaker 1: You look better. It's crazy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish I wasn't addicted to it, but two
Speaker 2: a week sounds insane to me.
Speaker 1: I really podcast, but you have to leave it on,
Speaker 1: you said, total tan?
Speaker 4: Are your sheets? Like, oh, it's horrible everywhere.
Speaker 2: My boyfriend, I haven't seen him in forever, and I've
Speaker 2: been living in a spray tan sheet and I haven't
Speaker 2: changed him a while because I'm living in this hotel
Speaker 2: that doesn't change your sheets except once a week. And
Speaker 2: it's like, so I've just been sleeping on the orange spot.
Speaker 1: Like who cares?
Speaker 4: Just give some peach colored sheets.
Speaker 2: And he was supposed to get in today and so
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, can we have my bed sheets
Speaker 2: chained over this morning?
Speaker 1: But he got in late last night and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh shit, and he sees it's a white bet. It's like,
Speaker 1: it's insane.
Speaker 2: When I've been sleeping, it looks like I've diarrheaed there
Speaker 2: four nights in a row. It's crazy how bad it looks.
Speaker 2: But his side was good, so he didn't mind. But yeah,
Speaker 2: last night it was like I had a fresh spray
Speaker 2: tand and I was like, I'm sorry you're getting in,
Speaker 2: like you can't touch me, you can't like we can't
Speaker 2: do anything, like I can't even touch my own skin.
Speaker 4: Those first eight hours off limits.
Speaker 2: It's really dumb that we have to do and we
Speaker 2: don't have to do it, but I thought that was interesting.
Speaker 2: And you also were talking about on stage one of
Speaker 2: your eyes smaller than the other, and so you will,
Speaker 2: you said driving down in the changa, you were doing
Speaker 2: this the whole.
Speaker 5: Way to stretch mine own before this podcast, so you
Speaker 5: can probably really tell.
Speaker 2: So when it stretches out, it does help it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it does because one of his he doesn't have a
Speaker 2: lazy eye. We would determine it because a lot lazy
Speaker 2: is about your eyeball. His is a lazy eye.
Speaker 1: I lid.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my eyes are different sizes.
Speaker 2: I think it's cool looking. I don't think it's distracting.
Speaker 2: I really don't. I don't think it's bad.
Speaker 3: That's a good thing.
Speaker 1: I think it's character.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's hot. It's not it's not like
Speaker 2: I'm not trying.
Speaker 4: Like the one small eye.
Speaker 1: It's it's not small. It's cool.
Speaker 3: It's like it's a mischievous charm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's definitely good. It's not bad.
Speaker 4: But in the morning it is well obvious.
Speaker 1: Right, do your parents have it? Did you get it
Speaker 1: from one of them?
Speaker 5: Just one of my friends was talking to me one
Speaker 5: time and it was like, so what's up, bro, Like
Speaker 5: made one eye real small, and I didn't know that
Speaker 5: you knew that people knew that my eye was so you.
Speaker 1: Had noticed it already.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, do people know you've got some damage?
Speaker 3: You've never done a nerve. It's not keeping that up.
Speaker 3: I don't know, which is why stretching maybe works because
Speaker 3: the muscles are.
Speaker 4: You can get an eye.
Speaker 2: You'll probably get an eye lift at some point. You're
Speaker 2: not opposed to plastic surgery. What are you going to
Speaker 2: be like in your forties?
Speaker 5: You want to take a joke over the plastic surgery.
Speaker 5: What do you mean, like, I want to keep the
Speaker 5: joke going about the eye.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's good. But what gets on a special Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you're not you. Uh, you're on the show
Speaker 2: Lovers and Liars, which is all like, what was it
Speaker 2: like for you? It's my dream to be on a
Speaker 2: dating show in the sense that you are where you're
Speaker 2: like looking for love on an eye.
Speaker 4: It's not a dream. It's tell us scary.
Speaker 5: So like I'm used to like being like in the
Speaker 5: this pig styve of men, like trying to go after
Speaker 5: these girls, and now roles are reversed.
Speaker 4: I'm dating just eight women throughout.
Speaker 2: Real You were more comfortable than the other when you
Speaker 2: were one of the guys.
Speaker 4: I kind of felt like it.
Speaker 5: When I was a guy going after one of the
Speaker 5: girls and I was an F boy, it was kind
Speaker 5: of just like whatever, bro who cares? Because I could
Speaker 5: say anything. I didn't have to be nice all the time.
Speaker 2: Because you came back to the show as an F
Speaker 2: boy after you got scorned by Louise who chose Mercedes
Speaker 2: over you. You came back in F Boy Island season
Speaker 2: three as an F boy and no one knew. Everyone assumed, oh,
Speaker 2: he's back as a nice guy. He's a nice guy before,
Speaker 2: so that was the turn. And then by the end
Speaker 2: of F Boy three, you made it to the final
Speaker 2: two again and you were the runner up to Katie Thurston.
Speaker 2: You and the Answer has come back for Lovers and Liars,
Speaker 2: which is also f Gero Island, and you be the
Speaker 2: lead now because now he he really he felt like
Speaker 2: he was ready to find love with Katie and he
Speaker 2: came back as an F boy, but he changed back
Speaker 2: to a nice guy.
Speaker 1: So that's your little character arc.
Speaker 5: And I thought I knew all the moves, like I
Speaker 5: thought I knew all the lines like the F boys
Speaker 5: F girls say the same things and nice girls.
Speaker 4: Nice guy says, oh yeah.
Speaker 2: And you completely lived like dar, but you're not really
Speaker 2: an F boy, Like was it hard for you to
Speaker 2: be that guy because there was some truth to it
Speaker 2: of like you were there for the money and you
Speaker 2: kind of were like, I don't really want a girlfriend
Speaker 2: out of this, So there's an F boy that. But
Speaker 2: you're not a douchebag like some of these guys.
Speaker 4: I can't, but.
Speaker 1: That's not what an F boy on our show.
Speaker 2: It's just like, if you're there for the money, you
Speaker 2: would say, be a nice guy, like treat women well.
Speaker 2: But if you're not really there for a relationship and
Speaker 2: you're lying about that, that equals F boy.
Speaker 1: So you qualified, Yeah, but you weren't. You're not like but.
Speaker 4: Then there are some guys that are like, he's a
Speaker 4: F boy in real life.
Speaker 2: Did you feel so bad lying like or like that
Speaker 2: Katie might think you were a nice guy and that
Speaker 2: you weren't.
Speaker 4: I I kind of thought she'd know like that.
Speaker 5: I was scared to reveal yeah, because I was like,
Speaker 5: what if she has no idea? What if she really
Speaker 5: thinks of a nice guy and she really thought I
Speaker 5: was a nice guy, Like so so I was like, wow,
Speaker 5: in her mind, it's just like I played her like hard, yes,
Speaker 5: And I was kind of like, you know.
Speaker 4: I don't really like I thought you knew like quick
Speaker 4: quink like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so okay, And and once you revealed, she's already
Speaker 2: eliminated you, so oh no, no, no, at that point
Speaker 2: you had to reveal before Yeah, that's right, Okay, I forget.
Speaker 3: Them that you didn't have a chance anyway. That was
Speaker 3: that that relationship was solidified from day war.
Speaker 1: We're gonna last n too. I thought they were so
Speaker 1: in love and.
Speaker 2: You yeah, they I really I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I think we're going to get a proposal.
Speaker 1: A lot of this.
Speaker 2: Stud mean like we don't think Yeah, I thought I
Speaker 2: never thought we would get a propose lot of f
Speaker 2: boy Island. But I really was like, I think these
Speaker 2: two are so in love but it didn't last. But
Speaker 2: you still so. But you're on the quest for love
Speaker 2: this season. Yeah, and you already know if you found
Speaker 2: it or not. We know if you found it or not. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So it was more pressure going into this as e
Speaker 2: Lite because you are breaking hearts.
Speaker 1: Is that part of it, And it's just.
Speaker 5: Weird when you have like two girls in front of you,
Speaker 5: and you have to eliminate one because like you didn't
Speaker 5: like the dress she was wearing.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't really like blue.
Speaker 2: So because you don't know them well enough at some points,
Speaker 2: like early on.
Speaker 5: The first episode, on the episode one, there's a lot
Speaker 5: of that. I talked to you for thirty seconds and
Speaker 5: but you kind of know winked at me.
Speaker 4: Weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you winked at her weird too first with
Speaker 2: that small.
Speaker 1: But yeah, you but.
Speaker 2: You kind of do, know, like when you were looking
Speaker 2: at all the girls standing there, like you zero in
Speaker 2: on some and then how did you guys all decide
Speaker 2: like not to go after the same ones?
Speaker 4: They kind of the girls just kind of gravitate towards you,
Speaker 4: like they really get to pick right because you're just
Speaker 4: sitting there and they're coming up and talking to you,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, I've never had this kind of attention
Speaker 4: in my life.
Speaker 1: Kissing on TV weird.
Speaker 4: Kissing in real life weird, weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, first kisses in real life.
Speaker 2: To do that, to kiss on TV, it's kind of
Speaker 2: my dream, Like I kind of do want to do it.
Speaker 2: I think that just anyone being invested in me being
Speaker 2: happy in that way and being authentic and not having
Speaker 2: to be funny like interest me.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I don't know, but.
Speaker 2: Also i'd be Actually, no, I think it'd be good
Speaker 2: at because I studied can't hardly wait in the way
Speaker 2: they kiss on the end scene, and I think that's
Speaker 2: the best way to kiss on TV.
Speaker 1: But what was your plans for it?
Speaker 4: It was like, I guess you'd be aware.
Speaker 5: I guess I'll just do what I've seen people doing movies,
Speaker 5: like that's the only way guys know how.
Speaker 4: I'm like whatever.
Speaker 5: They didn't Spider Man when he was like upsided on
Speaker 5: that one scene, I'll do it here.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was like, do you might hang from a rope?
Speaker 2: But would you be aware? You know they always say
Speaker 2: like you forget the cameras are there?
Speaker 1: Would you?
Speaker 4: Uh? Well?
Speaker 5: God, one time, it was like such a long kiss
Speaker 5: and I didn't want to open my eyes because I
Speaker 5: have a fear of opening my eyes because this one
Speaker 5: girl told me one time that I'm a bad kisser
Speaker 5: because I my eyes are open.
Speaker 1: Was this on TV that you told you?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 5: No, No, it was in real life. So now like
Speaker 5: when I'm when I'm doing that on TV. I'm like,
Speaker 5: I don't want to open my eyes. I don't want
Speaker 5: to And I just kissed this girl for like three
Speaker 5: and a half minutes. I didn't want to, Like look
Speaker 5: at the cameraman be like, are we good?
Speaker 1: Oh no, that could so scar you. Just one little
Speaker 1: tip like.
Speaker 4: That she was into it, and I was like, oh god, how.
Speaker 1: Would this bitch know that your eyes were open unless
Speaker 1: her eyes were open.
Speaker 4: I think it's like when I go in for the kiss,
Speaker 4: it should be.
Speaker 3: Okay, you need to have your eyes open for a
Speaker 3: little bit, yeah, head.
Speaker 1: Butter, yeah yeah, But like keeping them open during kissing
Speaker 1: is so.
Speaker 4: Bad that weird.
Speaker 5: Are you ever like you ever opened a check, like,
Speaker 5: you know, you both check it the same.
Speaker 4: I got to get out of here. Oh god, I
Speaker 4: take it the same time. That's brutal.
Speaker 2: But then you then you have you know, so you
Speaker 2: have all of these girls that you're juggling and you
Speaker 2: have to and then they make you go on dates
Speaker 2: with like both of them at the same time sometimes
Speaker 2: and there's like group dates and is it even fun?
Speaker 2: I mean, are you are you able to have fun
Speaker 2: in those times? Or is it I'm talking late in
Speaker 2: the game when girls emotions are.
Speaker 4: They're real wrapped up, They're super real.
Speaker 5: But I tried to like navigate around it and pick
Speaker 5: just like the coolest girls to that I could hang
Speaker 5: out with that like because I knew it was coming,
Speaker 5: Like I know, I'm gonna have to date three of
Speaker 5: these girls at the same time on the same date,
Speaker 5: so like hopefully three of them are like three that
Speaker 5: can get along and they are like this bitch.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean funny to me that anyone on these shows
Speaker 2: ever gets upset at the guy for not choosing them
Speaker 2: or for you know, because that's what this is. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, unless you win, this is what it is.
Speaker 2: Don't act surprise that these guys are two timing you,
Speaker 2: because it's that's the rule.
Speaker 4: I remember this season.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I remember one time Jared from I Guess
Speaker 2: F Boy three, like we really they you know. I
Speaker 2: was kind of getting notes to like go hard on
Speaker 2: this guy he's an asshole because he really kind of
Speaker 2: when he revealed to me be an f boy, he
Speaker 2: went hard on all the girls and was kind of rude,
Speaker 2: and I just played it up a little just a
Speaker 2: tiny bit of like how dare you you know? I
Speaker 2: was like in a mood that night or whatever, and
Speaker 2: so I'm just like, you're you know, I didn't say scum,
Speaker 2: but like some kind of like disgust of how he behaved.
Speaker 2: And he goes, but this is what the show is,
Speaker 2: That's what I'm supposed to do, right, Like he looked
Speaker 2: at me kind of like, why are you mad at me?
Speaker 2: For like this is the And I was like kind
Speaker 2: of like, you're right, yeah, that.
Speaker 1: We need you.
Speaker 2: I can't be mad at what you've brought to the
Speaker 2: show that remember that this is exactly I really liked
Speaker 2: that moment. It was like a very innocent, sweet moment
Speaker 2: of this guy that just was kind of acting like
Speaker 2: such an asshole. And I was like, oh, you're right, Jared,
Speaker 2: Like he's like, I'm just kind of doing what play
Speaker 2: the game I'm supposed to be doing, right, I was like, Oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: forget what showim on. I can't get mad at you.
Speaker 2: But that is funny to me. On like The Bachelorette
Speaker 2: when they're like you broke my heart, It's like, bitch,
Speaker 2: if the only way way this wouldn't happen is if
Speaker 2: you won, So the only world you live in is
Speaker 2: where you win all the time.
Speaker 1: Like that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 4: You can't listen for it. Yes, yes, although it does suck.
Speaker 3: If you got eliminated on the first episode, then then
Speaker 3: it feels like, what the fuck was all this for?
Speaker 3: Why did I audition for this? Why did I fly
Speaker 3: out here?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 2: Then, people someone has to go first as someone who's
Speaker 2: wanted first off dancing with the stars.
Speaker 1: It doesn't occur to you that it will be you.
Speaker 2: It never does you just when you enter into a
Speaker 2: reality show, in a competition show, there's just no way
Speaker 2: you're the worst. You know what happens to some people,
Speaker 2: but it won't be you, even if you know you're
Speaker 2: the worst. Yeah, And then sometimes it does, and it's
Speaker 2: just it's so humiliating.
Speaker 1: It's just because.
Speaker 2: The humiliating part of it is that you bought all
Speaker 2: these outfits, you like, planned your life to be there
Speaker 2: for a while, and you invested so much into it,
Speaker 2: and everyone knows how much you put into it too,
Speaker 2: because all the producers are so nice to you leading
Speaker 2: up to that point because they think they're possibly dealing
Speaker 2: with the lead of the show, so everyone's treating you
Speaker 2: like a fucking queen. And the second you're eliminated, it's
Speaker 2: kind of like you just realize how fake it all was,
Speaker 2: and it's really devastating. It's really embarrassing that everyone. You
Speaker 2: just realize, oh my god, this was never special. I
Speaker 2: was never special. I'm a commodity. I'm worthless, and they
Speaker 2: just send they just claw machine you out of this
Speaker 2: world that they built around you, and they throw you
Speaker 2: away and they don't call you again.
Speaker 1: It's really really embarrassing. First off, that's when.
Speaker 3: You gave me the same thing, the same thing, even
Speaker 3: if you go far, like you went far on the
Speaker 3: Mass thousand.
Speaker 1: More after that, yeah, yeah Mass singer. Yes, when when
Speaker 1: you were.
Speaker 3: You went really far, you were a third place, right,
Speaker 3: and so then when you got eliminated from.
Speaker 1: That, didn't bother didn't bother me at all.
Speaker 3: But it's the same thing where you're a commodity and
Speaker 3: it's like goodbye.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, But they call a little bit more because I
Speaker 2: was a part of the show longer. So now they go, hey,
Speaker 2: the new season's coming up, snow snowstorm, you want to
Speaker 2: do a shout out. You got to come back and
Speaker 2: do another thing, Like they're they still talk to me,
Speaker 2: I still matter to them. Dancing with the Stars, it
Speaker 2: was like just they fucked me and they were like,
Speaker 2: oh shit, my grandpa's coming over. You got to sneak
Speaker 2: out the window like they made up some line. Yes,
Speaker 2: they didn't even call me an uber.
Speaker 1: They just go.
Speaker 2: Uber usually picks up around the block if you want
Speaker 2: to call just so they give you some kind of wow.
Speaker 3: And I'm going to wake up early in the morning
Speaker 3: because my grandpa's coming here.
Speaker 2: There you're never seeing it again. They block your number.
Speaker 2: It's that that was a different vibe.
Speaker 3: And I knock on the door, someone opens it. It's
Speaker 3: like a Hispanic lady family. What the fuck?
Speaker 2: There hasn't been a boy who has lived here it is.
Speaker 2: I swear it was your last night. Yeah, that's how
Speaker 2: it felt. And it's so embarrassing. What's been your most
Speaker 2: embarrassing moment in your careers?
Speaker 4: You guys, jesus uh losing twice in a row and
Speaker 4: that was you out.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's not embarrassing. You're embarrassing.
Speaker 1: Though.
Speaker 2: It's almost worse than third and doing it two times
Speaker 2: zero round?
Speaker 3: So vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Did you really think you were going to win either
Speaker 1: of those?
Speaker 4: Was there a part of you I thought You're gonna win?
Speaker 4: Katie Thurston, I don't know. I was like, maybe she
Speaker 4: liked me.
Speaker 1: Were so that was.
Speaker 3: Like so obvious to everybody that they were.
Speaker 5: But you never know what's going to happen. I'm like,
Speaker 5: maybe if she really likes him, like she'll pick me
Speaker 5: and that'll be That's the big f You.
Speaker 2: Really can't ever bank on something being so obvious. And
Speaker 2: then I guess with Louise that one was actually fifty
Speaker 2: to fifty. Yeah, she just right, yeah, she just it's Mercedes.
Speaker 1: Man. I felt like I can't go against Mercedes.
Speaker 3: I known, what do you never do?
Speaker 4: I know, I'm like, I don't know. I was like,
Speaker 4: maybe my finale speech will.
Speaker 3: Save it, Like, yeah, you're just honored to be on
Speaker 3: the same court if he's playing the game.
Speaker 2: That's the part that I think I would really have
Speaker 2: a struggle with. Even though I speak and monologize for
Speaker 2: a living. Is that speech that you give to save yourself?
Speaker 2: And you guys always sound so eloquent and like it's
Speaker 2: a lot of times even for the real dumb guys
Speaker 2: are oh is it rehearsal day?
Speaker 4: Why we have a day to do nothing?
Speaker 2: And right, okay, so you guys, okay, work on this.
Speaker 2: That makes more sense now, because yeah, there's some guys
Speaker 2: that I'm like, are you reading a teleprompter in the sky,
Speaker 2: because there's they look up, they'll like kind of go
Speaker 2: and then they look back up and they get the
Speaker 2: rest of it, and then they finished it, and it's like, really,
Speaker 2: I've always been very impressed.
Speaker 5: I know, they're always really good, and you know, you
Speaker 5: it's from someone you don't expect. I'm like, oh, he's
Speaker 5: gonna butcher this and then he kills it and I'm
Speaker 5: like I'm next.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's wild. It's wild. This season is going
Speaker 1: to be really good. And has the feedback been good
Speaker 1: on I mean, it just abuta.
Speaker 5: Everybody loves it, like insane, like people that don't even
Speaker 5: normally watch it, Like my dad's like, it's pretty good.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's what the show is.
Speaker 3: It's actually what happened to the followers you lost? They
Speaker 3: went to go follow the F Girl Island Instagram.
Speaker 4: Probably I would too, you have to choose.
Speaker 1: It's uh, yeah, it's this.
Speaker 2: This season's really really good and it just started, so
Speaker 2: people should really get on board.
Speaker 3: I know it's been rebranded to lovers and liars. We
Speaker 3: all know that it's F Girl Island, but It truly
Speaker 3: is like a superior show to f Boy Island. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's so it's it's so much different to have whatever
Speaker 3: it is, twenty three girls instead of twenty three guys.
Speaker 3: They act, they feel so much more vicious, they feel
Speaker 3: so much into the game. And the guys, you guys
Speaker 3: seem like you're really in danger because.
Speaker 2: We're and you guys are funny and you three guys
Speaker 2: have been around the block before on these shows, so
Speaker 2: there's like a comfort level there that just makes it
Speaker 2: easier to watch. I think you're just so funny. And yeah,
Speaker 2: it's it's a great show. It's a great show. Lovers
Speaker 2: and liars right now, you've got to check it out.
Speaker 2: Just support if you love me unconditionally. Why aren't you
Speaker 2: watching a liar right on the cw app. Okay, we'll
Speaker 2: be back with more with Benedict after this. We're back,
Speaker 2: Benedict polite.
Speaker 1: Si is that how you say? Oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry.
Speaker 3: Let me see it.
Speaker 1: Let's see the same thing with Glasser.
Speaker 4: Glasser was so mad.
Speaker 2: But I don't even hear it when people suck it
Speaker 2: up anymore. I'm just like, sure, that's fine.
Speaker 4: That's what I'm like. I don't care. It's too much.
Speaker 3: Yeah, me too. People say frank Frankie. But at one
Speaker 3: time in uh, in middle school, the gym teacher called
Speaker 3: me fran gay and I got a lot of grief
Speaker 3: from that. Yeah, But other than that, it's I.
Speaker 2: Know, I don't really care, but uh, you're from you Yeah,
Speaker 2: and your comedian stand up comedian from Indianapolis.
Speaker 3: Crackers, Yeah, Crackers, Crackers Club Williams there now, right.
Speaker 2: Broad Ripple and downtown locations.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just downtown now, okay, just downtown.
Speaker 3: I'm going into this weekend.
Speaker 4: Really?
Speaker 3: What with Conover?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Nice Conover Helium. That's a good club there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1: So many fucking places.
Speaker 4: They said, you really like clubs.
Speaker 1: I do like clubs. I miss clubs because I just
Speaker 1: miss staying in one place all weekend. So good, it's
Speaker 1: so fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and just being backstage and getting like to find
Speaker 2: the restaurants that you like.
Speaker 4: You get the same thing every I love doing comedy for.
Speaker 2: The food, truly, and you get free food from the
Speaker 2: club and give you so much.
Speaker 4: I'm always like, are you sure it's free? Like every single.
Speaker 1: Time, every time, and there's like someone waiting on you
Speaker 1: in the green rooms. Really.
Speaker 3: I used to prop they've got a great man, do
Speaker 3: so well. And it's the same men everywhere except for
Speaker 3: one improv I went to where it wasn't the same
Speaker 3: for some reason.
Speaker 2: Helium's punchlines improvs. That's those are the really those are
Speaker 2: the nice franchise salad with.
Speaker 4: Grilled chicken a Helium double. Okay, feeling all.
Speaker 3: Right, I'll try that.
Speaker 4: It's not very fun club.
Speaker 3: Have you ever been to the Comedy Attict in Bloomington?
Speaker 4: I have, but it was like my first year.
Speaker 3: So I was like, yeah, that's where Nicky and I met.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the first club that ever had led me. Shout
Speaker 2: out to Jared Thompson who runs that place.
Speaker 3: Yeah, hosted that show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how we met. So I met a lot
Speaker 2: of people is through the club. Tom takr Uh, Tom Brady,
Speaker 2: Emil Jaquem Yes, and then and then Ryan. That's so crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's it was. It's a great scene still is. But
Speaker 2: uh yeah, so you're.
Speaker 1: You moved, la though? How long ago?
Speaker 4: Been here?
Speaker 5: For like four months? I was back and forth going
Speaker 5: to India get my stuff and coming back.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's always what you do. Did you make the
Speaker 2: right move? Are you glad that you did here over
Speaker 2: New York, because that's always the thing.
Speaker 5: I don't know, it was a big toss up, but
Speaker 5: I was like, I'll probably end up trying both.
Speaker 3: You've gotta do l A. You're an l A guy
Speaker 3: for sure.
Speaker 5: Why do people why do people people say that to
Speaker 5: me twice a week New York.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't do it?
Speaker 4: I would you have?
Speaker 3: You have a lot to offer that is valued in
Speaker 3: l A versus not valued in New York.
Speaker 1: I feel like what is LA doing anymore?
Speaker 4: Though?
Speaker 1: Like auditions on Zoom.
Speaker 3: Like the industry is falling apart. But I feel like
Speaker 3: I feel like you your personality, what you're you're You
Speaker 3: can be a television personality. You can be a host,
Speaker 3: you can be a comedian, you can be an influencer.
Speaker 3: Those are l A things. If you're like I want to,
Speaker 3: you know, write for the Daily Show. I want to
Speaker 3: write for the Daily Show? Or just like I only
Speaker 3: want to be at the comedy seller and that's it.
Speaker 1: But is that the goal?
Speaker 4: What standard to stand up? Like?
Speaker 1: Do you to be like the best? You want to
Speaker 1: just stand up?
Speaker 5: I already stand up for I'm sure of that, but
Speaker 5: like I'm if it leads somewhere else, Like I'm open
Speaker 5: to that too.
Speaker 1: That's really happy.
Speaker 2: I saw Bill Burklip the other day or maybe it's
Speaker 2: last night that said the same thing that I always say,
Speaker 2: which is like I don't care if people do stand
Speaker 2: up to get into other things. I think do it.
Speaker 2: It's the only thing that you get on stage every
Speaker 2: night and you get to like try out so hard
Speaker 2: and act. Yeah, and if you want to be an
Speaker 2: actor and you want to try stand up and you're
Speaker 2: taking stage time from others, well then you're probably better
Speaker 2: than the others that you're taking stage time from. Like
Speaker 2: why are you You're probably killing So you figured something out,
Speaker 2: so like you know, it doesn't bother me when people
Speaker 2: want to get into other things, because stand up is
Speaker 2: it's not that sustainable forever for everyone. It's so exhausting.
Speaker 2: You have to constantly come up with new material. You
Speaker 2: you can't rely on your hits. It's you have to
Speaker 2: keep like, uh, giving of yourself in a way for
Speaker 2: at least for me, of like personal stories and mining
Speaker 2: your own life and like having to lead an interesting
Speaker 2: life to it's and then you have to travel all
Speaker 2: the time. I realize I'm probably going to die in
Speaker 2: a hotel, like I realized the other day, Like, there's
Speaker 2: I spend a third of my life in hotels.
Speaker 1: It's a really good chance I'm.
Speaker 2: Going to die in a Hotel's bad at all me
Speaker 2: like thinking I was just like, oh, that's interesting, but
Speaker 2: I do spend.
Speaker 3: Life's going pretty well. If a maid discovers your body, yeah.
Speaker 4: Marriotte, I'll take it. Marriott, Man, that's where That's where
Speaker 4: I'm at.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's where I'm at too.
Speaker 2: I want to take it up to the next level
Speaker 2: of like like I remember Bob Sage I think was
Speaker 2: that of four Seasons, and that's where his body was found.
Speaker 1: I'd like to be that level.
Speaker 3: That's the level you want to be. Yeah, yes, you.
Speaker 1: See of my life when I see no more.
Speaker 4: Yes, You're going to die, don't ask him.
Speaker 1: That's that's gonna.
Speaker 3: Whatever happens when thrown in a cryogenic tube, and I'm
Speaker 3: gonna he's gonnacitated. Don't worry in the future.
Speaker 1: How white are your teeth?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 1: What are you doing to white?
Speaker 2: Because let's talk about this because I have to go
Speaker 2: get a whitening pretty soon.
Speaker 4: For it's the coffee straw.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's dark.
Speaker 4: Everybody always asks, why do you drink coffee through a straw?
Speaker 4: It doesn't hit any of my teeth?
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: I mean I use white stirps every once in a while, but.
Speaker 2: You're gonna say every day and every once in a while.
Speaker 2: But you don't do any like massive whitening things.
Speaker 4: Just brush, dude.
Speaker 2: I did a zoom whitening that was like five hundred
Speaker 2: dollars for my special a couple days before.
Speaker 3: And that caused you great grief.
Speaker 1: It was so off. I mean, you know about toothpain.
Speaker 2: So when I was bitching about it, you were probably like, yeah,
Speaker 2: welcome to my world. But you can't eat anything except
Speaker 2: things that are white. Yeah, for three days and it's
Speaker 2: so painful. Yes, coolip and marshmallows.
Speaker 4: That's great to get the tooth thing.
Speaker 1: It's horrible, it's my favorite.
Speaker 2: Hurt so much, and I swore to myself I would
Speaker 2: never do it again, and I promise. At the time,
Speaker 2: I was like, don't ever do this and makes your
Speaker 2: life miserable, And you only are doing it to prepare
Speaker 2: for this thing that you need to be of a
Speaker 2: sound mind for. Why would you throw your mind?
Speaker 1: Name chaofs?
Speaker 2: Three days before like, put yourself in so much toothpaint
Speaker 2: right before you're doing this thing. But I got another
Speaker 2: big thing coming up, and I'm like, maybe just a
Speaker 2: little bit further out.
Speaker 4: I swear white strips are fine.
Speaker 2: They're fine, They're fine. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: buy a kid on Amazon. I don't need to go
Speaker 2: back to this place again. It was torture. It was
Speaker 2: so painful. Final thought. Noah, our producer is going to
Speaker 2: go into labor any second now. Yeah, she should do
Speaker 2: it right now, very very pregnant, and I want to
Speaker 2: talk about that she will be when she does.
Speaker 1: Her teeth are so white. Do you drink three straws?
Speaker 7: No, they're not white.
Speaker 6: And you've always told me, Noah, don't waste your money
Speaker 6: on teeth whitening. Use the whitening strips.
Speaker 1: I have said that, but you're not on TV.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I'd never done it either, But I was like,
Speaker 2: I want, I want Jessica Simpson white teeth for the special,
Speaker 2: Like I just want to be so undeniably like celebrity white,
Speaker 2: like that girl is a celebrity, in which I don't
Speaker 2: really relate to celebrity white.
Speaker 3: Sounds like the name of a celebrity.
Speaker 1: Sounds in the name of a tooth whitening.
Speaker 5: Sure, celebrity company New Crest, right right right, yeah, better celerity.
Speaker 1: But Noah's going to be giving birth soon.
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What what are you at right now? What's the dude date?
Speaker 1: How many times?
Speaker 6: Thirty eight? That means that the baby's like fully developed.
Speaker 3: He's in there crazy.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I know she's laughing. She's enjoying him, like rattling
Speaker 7: around laugh.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: And so are you ready? Are you so uncomfortable that
Speaker 2: you're like, come on, let's do this.
Speaker 6: No, I'm not at that point except for when I
Speaker 6: lay down. When I lay down to sleep, I have
Speaker 6: to like literally hold my stomach and like turn over.
Speaker 1: But you're ready to meet her?
Speaker 6: Yeah, well I need I need one more a week.
Speaker 7: I just because doing And you.
Speaker 2: Got to get your teeth whitened. You got to get
Speaker 2: your laugh bright hands. What do you what's stretch out
Speaker 2: your small what's something right now that if the baby
Speaker 2: showed up, you'd be like, fuck, I didn't have time
Speaker 2: to do this one thing, Like what's the thing.
Speaker 1: That you're like, Oh, I got to do that.
Speaker 7: I got to pack my hospital bag.
Speaker 1: Oh god, you got to go bag and.
Speaker 6: What's supposed to go in that? Just a bunch of
Speaker 6: stuff for my underneath.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what they don't give you that stuff?
Speaker 1: They don't give you dinass.
Speaker 6: They they do give it. But I just want something
Speaker 6: that's like a little bit better, higher end.
Speaker 3: Yes, you don't want the state sponsored Yeah, not the
Speaker 3: marry that four season that I don't even know what
Speaker 3: you're talking about.
Speaker 2: Like, it's just I don't really either, and we don't
Speaker 2: have to know. We can just live in ignorance because
Speaker 2: we're men.
Speaker 3: At when you start teaching your child how to kick
Speaker 3: field goals, because that's my plan. Every child should be
Speaker 3: taught to kick field goals. It's the short most short
Speaker 3: fire away to have a career in the NFL. What
Speaker 3: eight get hurt minimum minimum salary eight hundred thousand dollars
Speaker 3: to kick field goals and no one's good at it?
Speaker 1: So funny, that's a really good plan.
Speaker 3: Yeah, field goals, that's right.
Speaker 2: Did you see Fahim and War had a clip yesterday
Speaker 2: that I saw that It was like talking about how
Speaker 2: you know the most talented people in the world, like
Speaker 2: Michael Jackson and Venus and Serena Williams, and there was
Speaker 2: someone else, some other black entertainer who's just extremely talented.
Speaker 1: They was like they all had overbearing fathers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was like, if I ever have a baby,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna give it to an overbearing black father.
Speaker 1: Just say go, just do it. And he's gonna be like, so,
Speaker 1: what do you want it to be talented? And he
Speaker 1: was like, it's not up to me. You you decide.
Speaker 2: You sometimes just completely surrendered. It was such a funny bit.
Speaker 2: I really loved it. But yeah, so what what is when?
Speaker 2: When will you start the field goal kicking? When do
Speaker 2: you think it should start?
Speaker 3: Two years old? They should start as soon as they
Speaker 3: cal walk. They need to be able to kick, okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: and they need to be able to accurately yes, stretches,
Speaker 3: all the muscular squats.
Speaker 2: I would be very worried about my baby's posterial pelvic
Speaker 2: tilt at this point.
Speaker 1: If I saw my baby walking around.
Speaker 3: Whatever, that's just best for the kicking is what you
Speaker 3: need to make it.
Speaker 2: It would ruin a child just being not wanting it
Speaker 2: to do the things that I do.
Speaker 1: Isn't that what we do?
Speaker 2: He's like, we don't want that's and that's why I
Speaker 2: think adopting is That was my whole point. I forgot
Speaker 2: to do that bit. I have a bit about it
Speaker 2: about how adopting is great. Well, I've done it on
Speaker 2: the show before, But adopting is great because everything your
Speaker 2: child sucks up at you don't take offense to because
Speaker 2: it's not you. You're like, that's his parents, it's not
Speaker 2: that's not me, that's just my dumb fucking kid. And
Speaker 2: so because that's where that's where so many kids have
Speaker 2: so much pressure on them, is because the parents put
Speaker 2: themselves like you're an extension of their parents, and so
Speaker 2: when you fuck up, your parents are like, no, this
Speaker 2: says too much about me me. And so if your
Speaker 2: parents were able to be like, well, that's serves a
Speaker 2: fucking birth mom showing up and be a little bit
Speaker 2: lax about it, the kid won't feel this like shame
Speaker 2: about who they are as much because you don't need
Speaker 2: to say that, but in your mind may feel.
Speaker 3: The shame from the original parents.
Speaker 1: They don't know. They don't because they can fuck up.
Speaker 2: They can be like I'm not a really, I'm not
Speaker 2: good at you know, I'm dyslexic or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: That's not a fucked up thing.
Speaker 2: But like if you could, if I could see how
Speaker 2: a parent would be like, I'm really smart, my child's dyslexic,
Speaker 2: and the child could be really smart but just had
Speaker 2: this learning disability, and the parent would be so frustrated
Speaker 2: because to me, that makes you look like you're dumb
Speaker 2: and I'm smart and it's important. But if you if
Speaker 2: your kid was dyslexic and you were really hyper intelligent person,
Speaker 2: but they were adopted, and you secretly thought your kid
Speaker 2: was dumb because they were dylexic, which is wrong to think,
Speaker 2: but you, in your mind could just go, yeah, they
Speaker 2: are dumb, but it's their parents.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't say that to the kid. You would just
Speaker 1: be easy about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the kid would read it as like, my
Speaker 2: parent accepts me for who I am, even though they're really.
Speaker 3: Just putting your fault.
Speaker 2: It would be healing if they didn't reveal this is
Speaker 2: your mom's fault, you know, like they just kept it
Speaker 2: to themselves.
Speaker 1: I think it could be better for the child.
Speaker 3: Well, let's find out.
Speaker 1: No one's gonna be the most amazing mom.
Speaker 2: She's so you're so ready to be a very caring
Speaker 2: and empathetic person and just like just so you're just
Speaker 2: such mom vibes. Your baby's so fucking lucky. That's what
Speaker 2: I alway sy. But when certain people get pregnant, I'm
Speaker 2: just like, man, I have a great mom. But sometimes
Speaker 2: you just are like that baby's so lucky because you
Speaker 2: like work on yourself. Yeah, your baby's really lucky.
Speaker 1: Thanks.
Speaker 7: But you know what, I don't even I still have
Speaker 7: to like ease into the role of mom. I can't really.
Speaker 7: It still makes me cringe a little bit.
Speaker 6: But I feel like I'll have time for that because
Speaker 6: right now I just have to like keep a baby alive.
Speaker 6: It's like taking care of like an animal or something
Speaker 6: where you can't like really communicate and you just have
Speaker 6: to make sure you're feeding it.
Speaker 3: You're oh, it's gonna be mayhem.
Speaker 2: Don't the next don't feed it water water until like
Speaker 2: six months. No one knows this.
Speaker 4: Wow, people like they get that's kind of water.
Speaker 2: No, you don't give a pedia light to under six
Speaker 2: months up to six months. Literally all they consume is
Speaker 2: breast milk, a formula, and nothing else.
Speaker 1: You cannot give a baby water. I had no idea.
Speaker 2: What if they're in the bath and some water splashes
Speaker 2: in their mouths a law and suck it out. They
Speaker 2: can have diet coke up to yeah, forty four ounce.
Speaker 2: I just learned that. I was on a trivia show
Speaker 2: and they asked what a cup? How many ounces were
Speaker 2: in a cup?
Speaker 3: And I didn't know. No, I forget it all the time.
Speaker 3: What is it?
Speaker 4: I have no clue.
Speaker 1: Eight?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just makes sense when you hear eight. But
Speaker 2: then I was trying to remember what are these, Like
Speaker 2: they're twenty ounce, but I was thinking they're twelve ounce,
Speaker 2: and so I was like, there's no way a cup
Speaker 2: this is.
Speaker 1: This is at least four cups.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how many ounces are in a gallon?
Speaker 1: But it's not it's one.
Speaker 4: I hate this game.
Speaker 1: How many ounces are in a gallon?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: If this is twenty a gallon, I would say, is
Speaker 2: forty eighty ounce?
Speaker 3: Sixty four?
Speaker 4: Sixty four?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: God damn so dumb.
Speaker 2: I was on this trivia trivia show, and it's really fun,
Speaker 2: like to get things right when other people don't, and
Speaker 2: when you when you know something and the only reason
Speaker 2: you know it, Like people people were going, Nikki, you're smart.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, it's just because I just got lucky.
Speaker 1: This is all luck.
Speaker 2: Yes, I absorb things and I have information in my brain,
Speaker 2: but the things that I knew were all just like.
Speaker 1: Because my dad's obsessed with that thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Or it was like the topics were just lucky
Speaker 3: for you to get those topics.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It was like something about the Right Brothers, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: but my dad has like talked about the Right Brothers
Speaker 2: a lot, and like it's just there's been some things
Speaker 2: that I've absorbed from that.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: There was like an episode of Dexter's Lab. There's a
Speaker 3: cartoon on Cartoon Network episode yeah, where the where he
Speaker 3: Dexter is this genius boy who can do whatever he
Speaker 3: wants because he's got his lab and he's a scientist
Speaker 3: and he's got a French test coming up, and he's
Speaker 3: not very good at French. So he designs this implementation
Speaker 3: that he puts on his head and it forces him
Speaker 3: to speak French. But then it malfunctions and the only
Speaker 3: thing he can say in French is a'mal let do fromage,
Speaker 3: which is a cheese omelet, and he keeps saying the
Speaker 3: whole episode, i'm let do fromage, and he's freaking out
Speaker 3: because hes gonna fail his French tests because the only
Speaker 3: thing he can say is om let do fromage. And
Speaker 3: then he gets to the French test and it's one
Speaker 3: question and it's how do you say cheese omelet? And
Speaker 3: he's like the.
Speaker 2: All, what's the movie about the the slum Dog Millionaire. Yeah,
Speaker 2: every question is just a specific thing that he happened.
Speaker 1: He wasn't like, you know, studying like speak.
Speaker 3: Monkey Man, which came out this weekend is dev Betel's
Speaker 3: John Wick movie. Oh yeah, we got to talk about
Speaker 3: that another time. Really, I don't even know if I
Speaker 3: could talk about it on the podcast because I have
Speaker 3: such I have such extreme opinions about it because I'm
Speaker 3: a huge martial arts movies fan.
Speaker 4: Okay, but Deaf Betel from.
Speaker 3: Slum Dog came out with the movie called Monkey Man
Speaker 3: with Jordan Peele's and EP and people. It's supposed to
Speaker 3: be like the Indian John Wick.
Speaker 2: Okay, supposed to be Wait before we go first of all, Noah,
Speaker 2: it will be gone. This will probably be her last
Speaker 2: episode before she goes. She takes a leave of accidents
Speaker 2: to go become a mom, study being a mom and
Speaker 2: raise her baby. So we want to wish her the
Speaker 2: best and she will there'll be someone taking her place
Speaker 2: as our producer.
Speaker 1: Olivia is her name.
Speaker 2: She's not here now, but she will be when Noah
Speaker 2: is gone, and so we'll invite her in to show.
Speaker 2: We're very excited for that. So don't think Noah will
Speaker 2: be back. She's just she's gonna be a working mom
Speaker 2: at some point, but she's needed that bonding time. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and she does need to be editing podcasts doing that,
Speaker 2: but she will be still watching the show. And yeah,
Speaker 2: she's Noah's a fan of the show as a producer,
Speaker 2: and she's constantly girls chat. So we'll talk about her,
Speaker 2: we'll reference her. She's still a part of the show
Speaker 2: so much. So, yeah, send your love to Noah. She
Speaker 2: is becoming a mom right now. And but before we go,
Speaker 2: the thing that everyone needs to watch that I'm sure
Speaker 2: everyone has. I sent it to you this weekend and
Speaker 2: was like, you need to watch this. You already knew
Speaker 2: about it. Hot Ones with.
Speaker 4: I've seen like TikTok.
Speaker 2: I watched it is so insanely good. It is like
Speaker 2: it changed the way of like think about comedy.
Speaker 4: I think really just.
Speaker 2: He had he eats so much of this hot sauce
Speaker 2: that you're supposed to only have like a little dab
Speaker 2: of right like, and he's like pouring it in his
Speaker 2: mouth and smearing on his face, and he's like ingesting
Speaker 2: so much for the bit that he gets like high.
Speaker 2: And he's someone who's like a sober person. He doesn't drink,
Speaker 2: he doesn't do drugs, and so he's always very much
Speaker 2: in control. And because he's obsessed with having control over
Speaker 2: a bit, and like I'm always chasing the joke and
Speaker 2: like I'll do anything for the joke because i want
Speaker 2: to have control over being funny, he kind of loses control, yeah,
Speaker 2: but he also maintains it so like he's realizing that
Speaker 2: what he's doing is making him lose control in a
Speaker 2: way that he never really has comedically. But then he
Speaker 2: goes into like hyper vigilance of like okay, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: take over so much. So you see him like battling
Speaker 2: with himself because he is drinking. I mean, people are gasping.
Speaker 2: These people who've worked on the Hot One set forever are.
Speaker 1: Like because he's going like this with like the second
Speaker 1: hottest one and then the hottest one, the one that's
Speaker 1: pure pepper. He's dumping it in his face smearing it
Speaker 1: on his face.
Speaker 2: He got it stuck under his ring, his wedding ring
Speaker 2: after he washed his fingers after the thing, and it
Speaker 2: singed his skin like it's like an acidic and he
Speaker 2: starts losing his mind.
Speaker 1: But it is so fucking funny.
Speaker 2: It shows just what a fucking pro he is, and
Speaker 2: it shows how when you I guess what I learned
Speaker 2: from it is that just follow the joke always, and
Speaker 2: and don't give up, and commit harder than you think
Speaker 2: you should, and that and and be willing to make
Speaker 2: to just take huge swings, and as long as you
Speaker 2: stay in the pocket and you commit to it, you'll
Speaker 2: be okay. Because he took huge swings that were so scary,
Speaker 2: but he never ever ventured off course and never.
Speaker 1: Regredited, and he was so proficient.
Speaker 2: He came in with bits to the show He's He's
Speaker 2: O'Brien can't Stop. That's the name of his show. You
Speaker 2: should watch Conan O'Brien can't Stop. It's an HBO documentary
Speaker 2: about how he's not okay and like he needs to
Speaker 2: do this. And I'm going to actually to his premiere
Speaker 2: party tonight for the new show I got it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm so excited. It's amazing. Conan O'Brien. Uh, it's like,
Speaker 2: go home, Conan or something. It's on It's on Max.
Speaker 2: But but what were you gonna say about him just now?
Speaker 3: My interrupted, Well that he came in with three Brits.
Speaker 3: He was prepared, but was also well what also he
Speaker 3: came with was inspirational in the way because he had
Speaker 3: a motivation for his character, which is like you only
Speaker 3: live once basically was his motivation. He's like, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: do this because I'm going to experience life to the
Speaker 3: fullest year. I'm I agreed to be on this show.
Speaker 3: I agreed to try the hot sauce.
Speaker 4: Why would I?
Speaker 3: Why do this? Yeah, we're doing this. It's like that's
Speaker 3: that's what That's what transcends it beyond just the bits
Speaker 3: because now he's got that motivation. It's almost like he
Speaker 3: had a theme to his character on Hot Ones.
Speaker 2: And there is a character that he brings in of
Speaker 2: his doctor checking in on him, and it's so funny.
Speaker 2: This doctor, who is one of his writers, Jose Royo is.
Speaker 3: The right plated it so well.
Speaker 1: He was so funny.
Speaker 2: It's if you watch a lot of Conen stuff, you
Speaker 2: recognize this guy from Late Night Days and uh, he
Speaker 2: he's this doctor that a Conin just keeps saying like
Speaker 2: he's not the best, but he's affordable. So he just
Speaker 2: keeps coming in and taking his falls and just doing
Speaker 2: it the wrong way, like taking his falls like stick
Speaker 2: out your tongue and putting a stethoscope on it.
Speaker 3: He goes, where did you where'd you go to college?
Speaker 3: Where'd you go to medical school? And he goes out
Speaker 3: of state and.
Speaker 1: Then and he goes, how long was how long was
Speaker 1: your program? Like you're to get and he goes, what
Speaker 1: did you say?
Speaker 3: It was supposed to be four years?
Speaker 1: Supposed to be four years, which is the funniest thing
Speaker 1: to say, because four years is already not enough.
Speaker 3: Does that longer?
Speaker 1: Or the program fell apart.
Speaker 3: Before you graduate? He did great?
Speaker 1: He was so funny. That was that was so brilliant
Speaker 1: to bring him in.
Speaker 2: And then Conan's putting the wings in his pockets like
Speaker 2: it's it's something that I know everyone has seen clips
Speaker 2: of because it's taking over the internet. It is absolutely
Speaker 2: worth the watch because you see the mental breakdown of
Speaker 2: someone like he don't you agree, Brian and know you
Speaker 2: watched it that he is I mean he's in a
Speaker 2: world of pain that we maybe only you understand because
Speaker 2: of your toothpain, but like he's in a world of
Speaker 2: severe searing pain.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's it's remarkable.
Speaker 1: And it definitely was worse than he thought it was
Speaker 1: going to be. Like you see him.
Speaker 4: Realize, Oh yeah, it got real.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. And he was talking about like being Irish
Speaker 2: and how they didn't have a spie. He didn't have
Speaker 2: a spice on his food until he was fifty two.
Speaker 1: It was just planned.
Speaker 2: He's so funny. He's the funniest man alive. I've always
Speaker 2: said it. I think he literally is the funniest person
Speaker 2: that's ever lived. Yeah, I put him up there. I
Speaker 2: know I say that all the time about people, but
Speaker 2: I think he's I think he's he's Mount Rushmore.
Speaker 1: Well, without question, he's Mount Rushmore. But yeah, he's the best.
Speaker 2: So watch Hot Ones, Conan watch Lovers and Liars on
Speaker 2: the CW app for free. You can watch it on
Speaker 2: Hulu with ads, and you can watch it on CW
Speaker 2: Live on Thursday nights at.
Speaker 1: Eight nine at nine eighth Central. How do you say
Speaker 1: it one of those.
Speaker 2: One of those times check your local Lovers and liars
Speaker 2: cw app right now, download the app and it's free.
Speaker 1: Noah, it was easy to use, right.
Speaker 7: Oh, so easy, and it's the best. I can watch
Speaker 7: it anywhere, okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, even on your phone.
Speaker 1: Even on your phone, you can watch a TV show
Speaker 1: on your phone.
Speaker 4: Now, what is this?
Speaker 2: I would argue that watching on your phone is people go, no,
Speaker 2: watch that on the big screen, and I go, actually
Speaker 2: the big I put the big If you move the
Speaker 2: phone perspective wise, you're watching on an imax if you
Speaker 2: get it close enough to your face. So if you
Speaker 2: watch a big screen, if you're sitting in your living
Speaker 2: room and you look at your fucking big TV that
Speaker 2: you're so proud of, and see how big it is,
Speaker 2: now hold up your phone to the same scale of
Speaker 2: where that is, and you will see that you have
Speaker 2: a big screen all the time. It's just a matter
Speaker 2: of perspective and bringing it closer to you. So I
Speaker 2: don't think it's lost to watch things on your phone.
Speaker 2: I don't think that makes it for a poorer experience.
Speaker 3: That's how most people do it anyway, especially for reality show.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, absolutely put those captions on. Have your other
Speaker 1: phone out on.
Speaker 2: Actually, just splip it up in the corner, so it's
Speaker 2: an even smaller box. While you're on TikTok and you
Speaker 2: have the muted TikTok voice playing over Benedict's voice and
Speaker 2: yeah to your TV and that's true. You can airplay it. Yes, okay,
Speaker 2: there's so many options. Look into all of them. Lovers
Speaker 2: and liars. Thank you for being here, Benedict.
Speaker 4: You're so fun.
Speaker 2: Been so fun to hang out with you. Not only
Speaker 2: in the show. We did KTLA last week too.
Speaker 4: That's great.
Speaker 1: We're so in and out.
Speaker 4: I know they loved it.
Speaker 5: Though they loved it, we actually want to watch this.
Speaker 5: Usually when reality TV people come on here, we're like,
Speaker 5: but like, we want to watch.
Speaker 1: That was really nice.
Speaker 2: They were like they after the segment, they were like, honestly,
Speaker 2: can you guys believe they're talking to the co host
Speaker 2: Like that was the only time I've ever had anyone
Speaker 2: from reality show actually make me want to watch it?
Speaker 2: Did it and it is true and it's worth it,
Speaker 2: like like it's it's worth promoting it in that way
Speaker 2: because when people do watch it, they I haven't had
Speaker 2: anyone go it's not really for me, literally, no one.
Speaker 2: Everybody loves and people are really they say that shiit
Speaker 2: to me about stuff where it's like it just was
Speaker 2: it's not my kind of thing.
Speaker 4: You're true friends will be like, yeah, that's actually.
Speaker 2: And it's okay if people don't like things, but this,
Speaker 2: I've never heard someone going like I gave it a
Speaker 2: shot and it just wasn't for me. So definitely look
Speaker 2: into it. And you need a new reality show, you
Speaker 2: know you do. Love is Blind isn't out anymore. Bachelor
Speaker 2: just wrapped up Golden Bachelor. They just divorced som love
Speaker 2: on the Spectrum. There's no new episodes coming out, okay,
Speaker 2: Lovers and Liars, so we will be back with more
Speaker 2: shows next week. Thank you so much for listening. Noah,
Speaker 2: good luck to you. We love you so much.
Speaker 1: And yeah, wait, there's balloons coming up?
Speaker 7: What yeah on our thing.
Speaker 2: I don't know what that's happening on zoom now where
Speaker 2: you give a thumbs up and all of a sudden
Speaker 2: the thumbs.
Speaker 1: Up will like float into the camera and no one
Speaker 1: asked for that way. The heart's one, Taylor's heart even.
Speaker 2: Talk about Taylor swits on this episode too much. We'll
Speaker 2: get to that next time, all right, guys, thank you
Speaker 2: for listening.
Speaker 1: Bye, it'll be good.