1
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:11,280
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for

2
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,280
Speaker 1: joining us, everybody. Susan, how are you doing?

3
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:14,920
Speaker 2: I'm great, ready to rock?

4
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:16,560
Speaker 3: Can you believe we're doing it together?

5
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:16,959
Speaker 4: I know.

6
00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:18,680
Speaker 2: It's so nice to be in the studio.

7
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,200
Speaker 3: I can actually see her face in real time.

8
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:26,200
Speaker 4: Amazing and I'm dressed from the waist down. Hey, And

9
00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:27,920
Speaker 4: if you haven't done it yet, I don't know what

10
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,960
Speaker 4: your problem is. You got to follow us, follow our

11
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,479
Speaker 4: podcasts and you'll never miss an episode. They'll let you

12
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,040
Speaker 4: know whenever a new one comes out. And trust me,

13
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,360
Speaker 4: we've had some great ones.

14
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:39,959
Speaker 3: And we want you.

15
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,800
Speaker 1: To follow the podcast because you will get notified every

16
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:49,319
Speaker 1: time there is a new episode out. So get on there,

17
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:52,200
Speaker 1: watch us, follow us, write us a review.

18
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,760
Speaker 2: Have we been having fun or weca?

19
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,280
Speaker 4: I mean, you guys don't know what you're missing, So

20
00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,880
Speaker 4: keep the questions coming. So we do have something to

21
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,840
Speaker 4: talk about at bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour, and

22
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,480
Speaker 4: we have some really.

23
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:09,200
Speaker 2: Great questions today with our special guests. You guys are

24
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:09,880
Speaker 2: going to love this.

25
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,440
Speaker 1: Our guest today may be one of my favorite of

26
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:18,400
Speaker 1: all time. We are here welcoming a true fan favorite,

27
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,840
Speaker 1: Ben Higgins, how are you doing, Ben?

28
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,920
Speaker 5: We know I got the email asking me to do this.

29
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,679
Speaker 5: This is I've told you for a long time.

30
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:27,759
Speaker 6: This is a.

31
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,440
Speaker 2: Dream you had us, so we need you.

32
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,119
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a trade off. I hope.

33
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,920
Speaker 5: I hope that I can give as good in entertainment

34
00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:38,560
Speaker 5: as the two of you do. But We've had a

35
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:42,240
Speaker 5: lot of fun together and I've always enjoyed being around

36
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:42,720
Speaker 5: both of you.

37
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:44,040
Speaker 6: Absolutely.

38
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,640
Speaker 4: One thing though, one thing you taught us though, you

39
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:51,400
Speaker 4: told us very early on how to negotiate each other.

40
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,280
Speaker 4: And you know what I mean, balance that ball, you

41
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,280
Speaker 4: know when I'm in school.

42
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,760
Speaker 1: And now I'll tell you what I remember. First of all,

43
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,160
Speaker 1: I think you give some of the best advice or

44
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,520
Speaker 1: I love listening to your podcast. But secondly, when we

45
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,040
Speaker 1: first started, you said to me, and I'll never forget

46
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:10,920
Speaker 1: it when you have a guest on, let the guests

47
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,320
Speaker 1: talk because people want to hear the guests.

48
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:19,000
Speaker 3: And here we are, right okay.

49
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,520
Speaker 1: And also I hear that you've got a little booboo

50
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:22,919
Speaker 1: on your hand that needs some attention.

51
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:23,640
Speaker 3: What's going on?

52
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:28,200
Speaker 5: I came on the day wanting advice from two mothers.

53
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,000
Speaker 5: I I woke up in the middle of night and

54
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,560
Speaker 5: my finger was just throbbing, and then I woke up

55
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,080
Speaker 5: and I have this like bump that kind of runs

56
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:39,080
Speaker 5: on the outside of my finger into my cuticle and

57
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,120
Speaker 5: it feels hot.

58
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,960
Speaker 1: Can I tell you what, Doctor Schwartz, that would that

59
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:43,919
Speaker 1: would be I?

60
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:44,600
Speaker 3: That would be me.

61
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:49,880
Speaker 1: Uh, you have what is called paranikea, and in Leamen's terms,

62
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,560
Speaker 1: Lemon's terms, it is an infection in your cuticle.

63
00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,520
Speaker 2: There's just some us. It's hard to go to the doctor.

64
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,359
Speaker 2: I do them all, you know.

65
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:04,040
Speaker 1: Susan and what you you can try to get us

66
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:07,560
Speaker 1: a needle, sterilized it and open it up and get

67
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:12,200
Speaker 1: the infection out. I did that, but I'm also on antibiotics.

68
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,800
Speaker 1: I had the same thing last week.

69
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,320
Speaker 2: I think you're going to survive, but do try it.

70
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,320
Speaker 1: You know what, I love Ben and I haven't. It

71
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,280
Speaker 1: is very painful, but you know we're going to get

72
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:26,280
Speaker 1: to this. Your wife, Jess is pregnant, and I mean

73
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,639
Speaker 1: a para Niki is like tea and crumpets compared to

74
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:30,520
Speaker 1: what she's going through.

75
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:36,480
Speaker 5: Trust me, I've been witnessing it. She's a trooper. Let

76
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:40,880
Speaker 5: me tell you that she is like my wife has

77
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,240
Speaker 5: this uh this characteristic about her that I.

78
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:47,560
Speaker 6: Don't have I know.

79
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's cool.

80
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,520
Speaker 5: She doesn't want to make like she doesn't like to complain,

81
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,760
Speaker 5: and she doesn't want to make my life harder, which

82
00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,080
Speaker 5: at times is frustrating some I'm like, we're partners, you

83
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:04,880
Speaker 5: can make my life harder. But she is right now,

84
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,600
Speaker 5: twenty three weeks pregnant, has kind of been through the ringer.

85
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,760
Speaker 5: She's a tiny human, so like this is a lot

86
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:15,480
Speaker 5: for her. Our baby as of to yesterday is the

87
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,040
Speaker 5: size of a game boy.

88
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:19,640
Speaker 2: Jo, way do you love?

89
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:20,839
Speaker 3: You know?

90
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:24,080
Speaker 1: My daughter had her first child like seventeen months ago,

91
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,400
Speaker 1: and she'd come home and say, today it's the size

92
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,880
Speaker 1: of a pee. You know, Now it's a pair, and

93
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,320
Speaker 1: now a watermelon. Now it's a game boy. I mean,

94
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:35,560
Speaker 1: do you love the the measuring sticks they use for pregnancy?

95
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:35,800
Speaker 3: Now?

96
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:37,800
Speaker 6: I love it.

97
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,520
Speaker 5: I love to see Jess get excited about it.

98
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,440
Speaker 6: I if I'm honest and she knows this.

99
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:50,040
Speaker 5: I am still in a phase of freak out in

100
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,839
Speaker 5: like a healthy way, like I'm ready to be a dad.

101
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:56,680
Speaker 4: Until you hold that baby, you will be yeah, and

102
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:57,760
Speaker 4: then you'll freak out with.

103
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,960
Speaker 2: How are you going to fe about two women in

104
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:01,320
Speaker 2: the house?

105
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,960
Speaker 5: Uh, well, there's two men right now, myself and my dog.

106
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:07,920
Speaker 2: Oh okay, that will balance.

107
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,839
Speaker 6: Yeah, so we'll balance it out.

108
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,760
Speaker 5: Being a girl dad is something I always grew up,

109
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,560
Speaker 5: I mean since I was little, saying I never want

110
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,800
Speaker 5: to be because I know that she's going to crush me.

111
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:23,400
Speaker 6: I am a very sensitive human.

112
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,440
Speaker 2: Oh god, you're doomed, babe, your dude, this is your daughter.

113
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:30,480
Speaker 5: She can get very I have had to go to therapy.

114
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:35,200
Speaker 5: I've had I've had to work because I get easily hurt,

115
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,880
Speaker 5: like not offended, more than just like her.

116
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,080
Speaker 2: I question a lot of things feelings.

117
00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:45,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm I always worry. I don't know what March

118
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:46,400
Speaker 6: twenty thirty.

119
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,159
Speaker 2: I'm a pipe to. We're piscis, that's why.

120
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:52,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just I'm always think, like my mind's always

121
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:57,120
Speaker 5: going about worst case scenario thinking and and so I

122
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,880
Speaker 5: was always like, I can't have a daughter. But now

123
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:01,839
Speaker 5: we're working on the nursery right now.

124
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,200
Speaker 3: And I've been that color, what color we do in

125
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,120
Speaker 3: the nursery.

126
00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:07,159
Speaker 5: Like a light pink, it's really pretty. And then I

127
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,560
Speaker 5: did like a Wayne's coat.

128
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,520
Speaker 3: Below sounds like my daughter's nursery.

129
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:14,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, and it's Winnie the Pooh themed. My wife and

130
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,200
Speaker 6: I love Winnie the Pooh.

131
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,440
Speaker 4: Do you like doing these sort of things like the

132
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,599
Speaker 4: because that will only last a year?

133
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,880
Speaker 2: If that okay? So I want to happen.

134
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, really, I want to ask you Ben like your

135
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:30,599
Speaker 1: dog Whalen. My daughter and her husband have a boxer,

136
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,559
Speaker 1: and my son in law sounds just like you. That's

137
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,880
Speaker 1: his first born. It's his son, I mean exactly. And

138
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,320
Speaker 1: I also have a daughter, so exactly the same scenario.

139
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:46,679
Speaker 1: And I said to my daughter, when you have this baby,

140
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,480
Speaker 1: this dog is going to become secondary.

141
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:51,760
Speaker 3: No, mom, never never know.

142
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,239
Speaker 1: Well, so what's happened is it's the dog is definitely

143
00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:58,800
Speaker 1: secondary for her and my son in law, Johnny is

144
00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:01,760
Speaker 1: like like he has he has two children.

145
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,640
Speaker 3: I mean, it has not changed. You think it's going

146
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:04,200
Speaker 3: to happen to you.

147
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, whyl and I are like work buddies.

148
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,440
Speaker 5: He you know, this is my office. I work from home.

149
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,200
Speaker 5: I sit here all day. He's with me all day.

150
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:14,800
Speaker 6: You know.

151
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,840
Speaker 5: I take a lot of meetings on walks with him

152
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,360
Speaker 5: like that.

153
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,800
Speaker 4: That that won't change, right, Yeah, that won't change.

154
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:25,440
Speaker 5: Now he takes up a lot of the bed at night,

155
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,520
Speaker 5: and so that might change a little bit over time.

156
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,440
Speaker 1: I swear, I'm feeling like I'm talking to my daughter,

157
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,640
Speaker 1: same exact thing.

158
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:31,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't see that.

159
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:33,720
Speaker 3: You know what they've done.

160
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,080
Speaker 1: They put a thing at the foot of the bed,

161
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,960
Speaker 1: his bed, and the minute they go to sleep or

162
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,240
Speaker 1: turn their eye, he's right back up in bed with them.

163
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:46,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's my buddy, and he he also, I think,

164
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:50,840
Speaker 5: will be You know what I understand about baby stage

165
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,400
Speaker 5: is Jessica is going to have a lot more work

166
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,560
Speaker 5: to do than I am.

167
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, she's going to try. That's her hope.

168
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:03,280
Speaker 5: She really wants to, and so they'll be like the

169
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,720
Speaker 5: sweet relief of quiet on walks for me.

170
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,120
Speaker 6: And I'm okay with that.

171
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,880
Speaker 2: And you must have done a lot of reading.

172
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, well, oh no, Look I have I literally.

173
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,840
Speaker 1: What to expect when you're expecting your first child.

174
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:20,680
Speaker 6: It's called The Birth Partner. It's so thick.

175
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:22,720
Speaker 2: What page are you?

176
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,240
Speaker 6: Jeez, I've read a lot of it.

177
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:27,400
Speaker 3: Let me just tell you.

178
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,080
Speaker 2: Let me ask you something. What did you get out

179
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:30,720
Speaker 2: of it so far?

180
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,680
Speaker 4: Give me like three things that you didn't know that

181
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:34,559
Speaker 4: that book told you.

182
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,720
Speaker 5: Well, let me start with the things that I probably

183
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,120
Speaker 5: should have known that. Okay, So just gives me this

184
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,080
Speaker 5: book and I open it up and the first two

185
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:46,520
Speaker 5: chapters are about where to massage my wife during pregnancy.

186
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:51,120
Speaker 5: I'm like this, this is funny, this is I hope

187
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:55,160
Speaker 5: there's a whole chapter dedicated to the birth present, the

188
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:55,920
Speaker 5: push present.

189
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,760
Speaker 2: Yes, you do not. There's a gift. Do not forget

190
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:03,480
Speaker 2: the ladies come on, no, no, no, we're dead.

191
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,280
Speaker 3: It's called a push president. You think I'm kidding?

192
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,120
Speaker 4: Can I tell a short story? My my son didn't

193
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,880
Speaker 4: think this was true? And she has the baby right

194
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,480
Speaker 4: and I'm like Christopher, He goes, Mom, are you serious?

195
00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,400
Speaker 2: I gave him diamonds. I'm serious that you've got to

196
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:21,000
Speaker 2: give her something. Yes, have that ready?

197
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, thank you do.

198
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:27,640
Speaker 1: Just doesn't counts passing on this one.

199
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:34,960
Speaker 2: Okay, what else have you learned?

200
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:35,480
Speaker 6: I'll do it.

201
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:40,679
Speaker 5: I've learned it's actually really cool the different exercises as

202
00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:43,800
Speaker 5: we get closer to like to help her body get

203
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,160
Speaker 5: ready for pregnancy, like bounce on a ball and some

204
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,560
Speaker 5: of the stretches she can do, and then some of

205
00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:50,480
Speaker 5: like the exercises.

206
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:54,160
Speaker 1: I've learned that the book is more about the delivery.

207
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,719
Speaker 1: It's more about him helping our issue. Okay, is she

208
00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,600
Speaker 1: working out then walking? Because that really will make delivery

209
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,360
Speaker 1: a lot easier.

210
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,640
Speaker 5: She works out every day. She like I said, she's

211
00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:06,560
Speaker 5: a trooper. I've also I'm in the chapter right now

212
00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:10,360
Speaker 5: of what to expect in the delivery room.

213
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:14,760
Speaker 4: And she curses you out. It's not planned. It justs you.

214
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,360
Speaker 1: Know what I'm telling you, it's not gonna go the

215
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,880
Speaker 1: way you think it's gonna go. It never does. Yeah,

216
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,760
Speaker 1: it just just you know, just roll with it. It'll

217
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:27,160
Speaker 1: be fine. Babies are worn every day. They don't come

218
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,360
Speaker 1: with manuals. You've heard it all before. You're gonna make

219
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,360
Speaker 1: a ton of mistakes, and you're gonna love her and

220
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,120
Speaker 1: she's gonna love you.

221
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,400
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's really quick too, from you know, like she's

222
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,360
Speaker 4: four centimeters, Oh we have a while in boom, she's

223
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:38,800
Speaker 4: at nine.

224
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:39,920
Speaker 2: Let's go put.

225
00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:42,839
Speaker 6: Our hospitals thirty.

226
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,840
Speaker 5: She wanted to go to the like the best delivery

227
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:49,880
Speaker 5: hospital here in Denver, and it's a good forty minutes

228
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,160
Speaker 5: from our house. And so like, I'm hoping we have

229
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,240
Speaker 5: like some warning and some.

230
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:59,240
Speaker 1: Ben On my first one, I had twenty three hours

231
00:10:59,400 --> 00:10:59,960
Speaker 1: of warning.

232
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,800
Speaker 4: You'll have plenty of Hopefully she'll take more after me.

233
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,160
Speaker 4: My water broke at two am and the baby was

234
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,079
Speaker 4: here at six.

235
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's not gonna it would be very

236
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,000
Speaker 1: rare on a first baby to go into labor and

237
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,120
Speaker 1: you know, not be able to get to the hospital.

238
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,400
Speaker 1: But you know, like I said, I have a question.

239
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:23,440
Speaker 1: I think you are a remarkable human and I've met

240
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,360
Speaker 1: your wife and therefore she is a remarkable human. But

241
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,880
Speaker 1: I want to know, and you've always said that, how

242
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,960
Speaker 1: did you know she was the one?

243
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:32,800
Speaker 6: You know? I think?

244
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,520
Speaker 5: So we met on Instagram. I messaged her my buddies

245
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,040
Speaker 5: actually from the show. Uh, there's three of them, Dean

246
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:48,479
Speaker 5: and Wells and Nick. We're all Vegas for like a concert.

247
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,240
Speaker 5: And they said you got to start messaging girls on Instagram.

248
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,360
Speaker 5: And I didn't necessarily like feel great about that at

249
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,319
Speaker 5: the time. I think it's more common now. Back then

250
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,360
Speaker 5: it was like kind of like a taboo kind of

251
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:04,319
Speaker 5: creepy thing to do. And then I saw her picture,

252
00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:10,199
Speaker 5: and that's shortening up the story. I messaged her and

253
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:14,960
Speaker 5: it was really Uh, my first FaceTime with her was

254
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:19,320
Speaker 5: after I went to a church service. And my faith

255
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,400
Speaker 5: is very important to me and it's something that I

256
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,680
Speaker 5: my fate tradition and my like learning more about it

257
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:30,559
Speaker 5: is very valuable to me, and I had an issue

258
00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:32,600
Speaker 5: with the service, Like I was like, I just I

259
00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:35,800
Speaker 5: don't love how this was presented, or I have questions

260
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:38,040
Speaker 5: about it. And I was facetiming with her for the

261
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,920
Speaker 5: first time ever, and I brought it up like just

262
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,560
Speaker 5: kind of in passing, and she sat through that conversation

263
00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:48,320
Speaker 5: with me, and she gave her input.

264
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:49,600
Speaker 2: Did she have an opinion?

265
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:49,800
Speaker 1: You?

266
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:50,400
Speaker 6: Her input?

267
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,360
Speaker 5: But she also listened really well. And that was the

268
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,720
Speaker 5: first time I was like, goodness, this feels different than

269
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,199
Speaker 5: a lot of the relationships I've had in the past.

270
00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:01,079
Speaker 5: Like she's not jumping on me, she's not telling me

271
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,440
Speaker 5: I'm right or wrong. She's just listening. And then we

272
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,280
Speaker 5: had our first date out here in Denver. It was

273
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,240
Speaker 5: the night of my very first restaurant opening. Uh ever,

274
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,920
Speaker 5: so it was the very first restaurant ever opened up.

275
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,800
Speaker 2: We had first date nights.

276
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, she wanted to support me because she knew it

277
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:20,720
Speaker 6: meant a lot to me.

278
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:21,800
Speaker 2: So long did you wait?

279
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,520
Speaker 3: How long did you know her at that point?

280
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:24,960
Speaker 6: Three weeks?

281
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:30,280
Speaker 1: Wow, that's that's the opening and the chemistry. Had you

282
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,640
Speaker 1: had to know? I mean, that's just too he felt

283
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:34,240
Speaker 1: a certain way.

284
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, you had or we sat down at dinner and

285
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,120
Speaker 5: I remember just talking to her in person then and

286
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,680
Speaker 5: I said, this is either going to be the best

287
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:43,079
Speaker 5: thing that ever happened to me, or it's going to

288
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,800
Speaker 5: break me. And it ended up being the best thing

289
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,679
Speaker 5: that ever happened to me. And so I think it

290
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,640
Speaker 5: was more for for us because we did long distance,

291
00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:53,720
Speaker 5: because we were talking on the phone and facetiming, It

292
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:59,120
Speaker 5: wasn't this immediate like euphoric, Oh my gosh, I'm marrying

293
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:03,720
Speaker 5: this girl. Really was our first couple interactions together for

294
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,280
Speaker 5: me to be like, yeah, this is like what I've

295
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,600
Speaker 5: always dreamed of in a partner.

296
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,960
Speaker 4: She is And for people out there listening, long distance

297
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,960
Speaker 4: can work very much.

298
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,800
Speaker 5: So we had a couple of rules in our long

299
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:19,560
Speaker 5: distance dating that I think was really valuable. One the

300
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:23,280
Speaker 5: biggest one was we never met up with each other

301
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,000
Speaker 5: in person without having another time plan that we're going

302
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,480
Speaker 5: to see each other again, and so.

303
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:31,720
Speaker 6: We never like, never hear me fly to see her?

304
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:32,880
Speaker 6: And where did she live?

305
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,920
Speaker 3: Where did she live at Nashville? That's right, that's right. Yeah.

306
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,040
Speaker 5: And then the second one, which I highly recommend, and

307
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,520
Speaker 5: this was based on another buddy of mine who married

308
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:47,400
Speaker 5: somebody he was dating long distance was their relationship. What

309
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,720
Speaker 5: he witnessed and what I witnessed was every time they

310
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:54,320
Speaker 5: would leave each other, there'd be so much sadness around

311
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,920
Speaker 5: the goodbye. So like the last day, all that would

312
00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,480
Speaker 5: be talked about was I'm going to miss.

313
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,880
Speaker 2: You with kids Stan this, Yeah, I can't.

314
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,080
Speaker 5: Stand it, And yes, that's an obvious feeling when you

315
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:04,960
Speaker 5: love somebody.

316
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:08,640
Speaker 2: So just like I'm seeing two weeks you know, yeah,

317
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:09,280
Speaker 2: well Jess.

318
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,320
Speaker 6: And I said, I do is do that? Say?

319
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 5: Hey?

320
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:14,560
Speaker 6: Two weeks? And we never and this was hard.

321
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,840
Speaker 5: It was uh we never showed emotion or set out

322
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,800
Speaker 5: loud that we were sad we were leaving when we

323
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:22,360
Speaker 5: were together.

324
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:23,960
Speaker 3: I love that well.

325
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,360
Speaker 2: I don't think I could do it well.

326
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:30,640
Speaker 6: What it did was it kept our times together uplifted.

327
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,240
Speaker 1: And all exact, and it kept you in the moment,

328
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,600
Speaker 1: enjoyed the moment and then looking forward to the next moment.

329
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:37,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, Tire.

330
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,360
Speaker 4: When I kissed you goodbyes, I headed for the plane.

331
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:44,600
Speaker 4: It'll be a big crocodile tear coming down out two weeks.

332
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:49,320
Speaker 5: Her mom last, She's like, because she knew this, and

333
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,680
Speaker 5: she she knew that our rules and her Mom's like, yeah,

334
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 5: guess who took the bra of all of it.

335
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,720
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm gonna say she she took the high

336
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,160
Speaker 1: road and walked away with her head high and then

337
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,000
Speaker 1: crumpled with So she got your mom.

338
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,800
Speaker 4: Well, you guys are going on a three year anniversary.

339
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,360
Speaker 6: Correct, yeah, next month.

340
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,880
Speaker 3: Happy, it's going to change.

341
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,680
Speaker 1: But you know what your life is about to change

342
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:16,360
Speaker 1: in the most remarkable way that it really does defy description.

343
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,520
Speaker 1: You'll just you just aren't believing, going to believe the

344
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:20,600
Speaker 1: journey you're about.

345
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,880
Speaker 4: To Yeah, it's totally different than any bachelor.

346
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,600
Speaker 1: I can't wait. I want to ask you. So I

347
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:32,000
Speaker 1: saw on socials that you were seeing the mom con.

348
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,320
Speaker 1: I want to know how you got into that. What

349
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,680
Speaker 1: was it like, the whole bit?

350
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:37,400
Speaker 3: I want to know.

351
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,960
Speaker 5: That's such a good question. So it is my target demographic.

352
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:43,720
Speaker 6: It is.

353
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,880
Speaker 5: It is a place that if I want to feel

354
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:49,040
Speaker 5: cool about myself again, I go back to momcom. Okay,

355
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,960
Speaker 5: So mom con comes from mom Co, which was formerly MOPS.

356
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:59,720
Speaker 5: MOPS is really a nonprofit that does support for moms

357
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:03,680
Speaker 5: within church systems or within community systems. So their focus

358
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:07,800
Speaker 5: is really getting into like helping moms connecting community through

359
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,680
Speaker 5: you know, studies, et cetera. So mops is what they're

360
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,359
Speaker 5: you know, they were known for for forty nine years.

361
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,520
Speaker 5: That's really popular and it's in one hundred and twenty

362
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:17,480
Speaker 5: six different countries.

363
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,200
Speaker 6: Mom Co is their new brand, so.

364
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:22,840
Speaker 4: That like mother's mourning out where they take the kids

365
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,080
Speaker 4: in a couple of hours, you.

366
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,440
Speaker 2: Could pitch up. We had that in Texas.

367
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:30,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's similar. So like what like what they do

368
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,360
Speaker 5: is like if you go to a church or if

369
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,840
Speaker 5: you are a part of a school system, moms will

370
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,280
Speaker 5: come in and say, Okay, we're going to give you

371
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:36,920
Speaker 5: the material.

372
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,359
Speaker 6: This is what you can talk about this week. Here's

373
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,439
Speaker 6: some activities you should do.

374
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,800
Speaker 1: So it's a way to build women, empower women, and

375
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:48,159
Speaker 1: build community within a a town or a church community

376
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:48,600
Speaker 1: or whatever.

377
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,920
Speaker 4: Or women that are depressed or have issues after having

378
00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:53,840
Speaker 4: maybe there's people to reach out to.

379
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,240
Speaker 6: There's people to reach out to.

380
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,879
Speaker 5: And then they also help share like the most recent

381
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,920
Speaker 5: cool mom trip right like here's what we're learning about

382
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,800
Speaker 5: baby nutrition or here's what we're learning about you know,

383
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:09,720
Speaker 5: young childcare. So once a year, mom Con is where

384
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 5: all the moms up that are part of these groups.

385
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,240
Speaker 5: Again across the undred twenty six different countries come to

386
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,840
Speaker 5: a conference, and there's five thousand of these moms in

387
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:19,440
Speaker 5: this room.

388
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:25,600
Speaker 1: And I just had a genius idea, Susan, Okay, we're

389
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:29,520
Speaker 1: gonna have single man con and we're going to have

390
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:33,159
Speaker 1: a conference with we're gonna get from one hundred and

391
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 1: twenty six countries, all you know who's gonna seances you

392
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:37,840
Speaker 1: and me?

393
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,000
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean why not?

394
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:41,400
Speaker 5: Yeah?

395
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,119
Speaker 3: Why what?

396
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:44,840
Speaker 6: And so yeah.

397
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 5: So they asked me this year if generous so generous coffee,

398
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,800
Speaker 5: the company I operate did a mom com like coffee bag,

399
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 5: so the profits.

400
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 6: From that bag will go to mom co.

401
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,159
Speaker 5: And then they asked if I would m see the

402
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,320
Speaker 5: event and and it was hilarious.

403
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,760
Speaker 2: I could imagine I was one of.

404
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:08,480
Speaker 5: Like four dudes in the whole room of five thousand women, which.

405
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:08,920
Speaker 2: Brings me back.

406
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:16,399
Speaker 4: And they were women without children there, so they were.

407
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:19,360
Speaker 5: It is a it is a uniquely different experience when

408
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,640
Speaker 5: you see moms on the loose.

409
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,120
Speaker 3: With oh no, we know we were. We have been

410
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 3: moms on the loose no kids.

411
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:39,520
Speaker 4: Speaking of experiences and takeaways, if you will, what have

412
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,520
Speaker 4: you learned or took away before meeting your wife, like

413
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:48,360
Speaker 4: after leaving bachelor, What lesson could you share with someone,

414
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 4: maybe even to save them the aggravation or the heartache

415
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 4: if you.

416
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:59,679
Speaker 5: Are of dating, Yes, I would say I wish, you know.

417
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,680
Speaker 5: I think the best advice I had when I was

418
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 5: single was day often. And you know, I think that

419
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 5: gets a little weirder today. But if you date often,

420
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 5: like it doesn't put as much stress. And I think

421
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,639
Speaker 5: dating is a little bit like exercising a muscles. It

422
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 5: always made me very anxious. It always made me like

423
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,159
Speaker 5: a head of a lot of anxiety. I always hated

424
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,240
Speaker 5: dates because if the date didn't go well, then at

425
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,399
Speaker 5: some point, you're, like many breaking up with somebody or

426
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 5: telling him I don't want to see him again. And

427
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,359
Speaker 5: so I think as I got off the show, I

428
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,440
Speaker 5: kind of hit out.

429
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,439
Speaker 4: As a man because you ask people for dates as

430
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,920
Speaker 4: a woman. I mean, I know today we can ask

431
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,399
Speaker 4: as well, but not as much as a man would, right.

432
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:48,919
Speaker 5: Yeah, And it's always a little awkward after show, I

433
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 5: think because one, my ego is big, but I also

434
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 5: was still like I still had the understanding of who

435
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,560
Speaker 5: I was as a person, so like I wasn't really

436
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,119
Speaker 5: figuring myself out a lot. I just I think dating

437
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,919
Speaker 5: Austin would be the best because you get used to

438
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,439
Speaker 5: dates not working out. You also get familiar with what

439
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 5: you're into and what you're not into. I think dating

440
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,120
Speaker 5: Austin also allows you to maybe become attracted to things

441
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 5: that you maybe didn't grow up thinking you were attracted

442
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 5: to because you were.

443
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,639
Speaker 3: Exposed to their experiences.

444
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's cool.

445
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:25,680
Speaker 1: All right, Well we you know, we fund some advice,

446
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 1: we give advice to, and you, who I think are

447
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 1: the master of advice, We're going to read some questions

448
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 1: and help.

449
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:33,960
Speaker 3: You'll help us.

450
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:34,920
Speaker 6: Weigh in on the internet.

451
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:36,399
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, here we go.

452
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 1: Hi, Kathy and Susan. I could really use your advice.

453
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 1: I've been with my boyfriend for about two years now,

454
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 1: and everything between us is great. He's honestly my best friend,

455
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 1: and we started talking more seriously about our future together.

456
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 1: The only sticking point is that we come from different

457
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,239
Speaker 1: religious backgrounds. He's very active in his faith, which I

458
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:01,359
Speaker 1: totally respect, and I've even started looking into converting because

459
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 1: it's important to him and I feel like it's something

460
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,400
Speaker 1: I could really embrace to the big issue is his parents.

461
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 1: They've made it very clear that they're not thrilled about

462
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: him dating someone who wasn't born into their religion. Even

463
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 1: though I'm willing to convert. It's like, no matter how

464
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 1: open I am, they don't think I'll ever fully be

465
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,199
Speaker 1: one of them. It's frustrating because I want to have

466
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,959
Speaker 1: a good relationship with his family, and I know how

467
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,159
Speaker 1: much their opinion matters to him, but I'm starting to

468
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:31,719
Speaker 1: feel like I'm never going to be enough in their eyes.

469
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,879
Speaker 1: He's been supportive, but I can tell he's caught in

470
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 1: the middle trying to balance our relationship with what his

471
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,920
Speaker 1: parents want. So here's the thing. How much say should

472
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,160
Speaker 1: his parents have in our relationship? Should I be worried

473
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,120
Speaker 1: that their opinion might hold him back from fully committing

474
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 1: to me? Would love any advice, thank you? Okay, Ben,

475
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 1: what do you think?

476
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 6: So my advice is this, I think faith is.

477
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 5: When I read this, you know, I think one of

478
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 5: the things that would be helpful would be know what

479
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,960
Speaker 5: kind of like faith tradition we're talking about, what type

480
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 5: of religious background we're talking about?

481
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 4: Because the convert gives me a Jewish, right, Yeah, that's

482
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 4: women convert.

483
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 5: That's my That was kind of my assumption was that

484
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 5: we were talking about Judaism and uh. And typically, like

485
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 5: with the Jewish community that I surround myself with, converting

486
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 5: is a very respectable and fair and accepted you know,

487
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 5: and most people will say, hey, thank you for to

488
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 5: take for doing this for the family. Now I can

489
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 5: speak to this because of my Christian faith and say that,

490
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 5: you know, I think and what I know about my

491
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 5: faith is it's a genuine and authentic transformation for me.

492
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 5: And I think that's getting into a lot of the

493
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,919
Speaker 5: nitty gritty of my faith. But I'm I'm a Christian

494
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,880
Speaker 5: for multiple reasons, one of which being that I've had

495
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 5: experiences in my life where I feel like that is

496
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 5: the fate tradition that leads me in the best direction,

497
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 5: that is true to the world around me, that helps

498
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 5: me love people better.

499
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 6: And so I think that would be hard is if you.

500
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 5: Are looking at that going well, I just want to

501
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 5: convert to find acceptance. Well, I would say that's not

502
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 5: really what I'd be looking for as as a partner.

503
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 6: I would want you.

504
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 5: To have a genuine experience with the divine that makes

505
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 5: sure life.

506
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,439
Speaker 1: So this is an interesting question for me. My father

507
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 1: was Jewish and my mother was a member of every

508
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 1: Christian church depending on who she was married to at

509
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 1: the time. And so I grew up really between two

510
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:46,199
Speaker 1: worlds and the I'm sure people have comments on this,

511
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:50,639
Speaker 1: but for me, the biggest difference and I grew up

512
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 1: in almost totally Jewish neighborhood and we were the ones that

513
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 1: you know, I was a shick set was, you know,

514
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 1: because my father was only Jewish. And again in the

515
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 1: in the Hebrew tradition, the mother's religion is no in

516
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: the Jewish religion, the mother's religion is what you are.

517
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 1: In other words, my father was Jewish, but I would

518
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:16,679
Speaker 1: have to convert to Judaism if if you know, I

519
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,919
Speaker 1: was dating someone Jewish. And here's the thing for me.

520
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 1: If you're a Christian, you believe that Jesus is Savior

521
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: and died on the cross for your sins. If you're

522
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 1: a Jew, you believe that Jesus existed. He was a prophet,

523
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,399
Speaker 1: but he is not the Son of God. And in

524
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 1: fact that is still yet to come. You know, he

525
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 1: was a prophet. So it's so completely what's what I'm

526
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 1: looking for, Completely opposite sides of the of the coins.

527
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,360
Speaker 1: So I think as someone grew up in a Christian tradition,

528
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: it would be hard to convert unless you are like

529
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,680
Speaker 1: me who really didn't up with the tradition.

530
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,640
Speaker 4: What I see here is she's worried about his parents.

531
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,640
Speaker 4: A lot of women that are in love with their

532
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 4: spouse and they want to convert. They are better practicing

533
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 4: in the synagogue than people that are brought up Jewish

534
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 4: and you know, by Mitzvah and so on, so they

535
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 4: I think they're very strong when they convert. But it's

536
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,440
Speaker 4: your choice choice. But like you just said, Kathy, it's

537
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 4: the woman that the one that's going to raise the

538
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 4: children and bring them and teach them Judaism. Do you

539
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 4: know That's what is important.

540
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:44,160
Speaker 5: I also, I think here in this question I want

541
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 5: to give a little shout out to the writer or

542
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,680
Speaker 5: to the because there's a lot of understanding in the

543
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:54,719
Speaker 5: language of this. She's obviously witnessed the concerns by the parents,

544
00:26:54,800 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 5: also accepted how much her partner right now, her boyfriend

545
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 5: and is caring for, you know, kind of holding the

546
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 5: way to both situations. And that's where I think the

547
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,360
Speaker 5: advice would come in, is in the way to both situations.

548
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 5: I think this is only going to get increasingly difficult,

549
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 5: and I do think having the family and support is

550
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 5: very valuable in a marriage. Do I think it makes

551
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 5: a break in marriage. No, But I think it's very

552
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 5: valuable and I think it makes the marriage a lot

553
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 5: more fruitful. Yes, when everybody involved is excited and celebrating

554
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 5: and giving their support behind this union. And so what

555
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 5: I would say here is, you know, breakup and all that.

556
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 5: That's not good advice. What I would say here is,

557
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,400
Speaker 5: I think the advice I would have was take a

558
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 5: big leap of faith in your own experience and sit

559
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 5: down with them all together. You at this point have

560
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 5: to lead this conversation because it feels like a lot

561
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 5: of words are being thrown around, either behind your back

562
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 5: and a lack of support, or to your boyfriend where

563
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 5: he's having to carry the weight of both. So I think,

564
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,239
Speaker 5: if you're seeing this and you're experiencing it, and I'm

565
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 5: all down together and say, hey, I want to do

566
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 5: what I can to be a part of this family

567
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 5: because I love your son and I want to be

568
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 5: with your son, and I understand there's concerns and I

569
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 5: want to do what I can to alleviate those concerns.

570
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 5: But if I can't, in your eyes, if that's never

571
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 5: going to be an option for you. I need to

572
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 5: know that now so that we don't continue down this

573
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 5: path of dating and falling more in love.

574
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:26,680
Speaker 1: And that's that's exactly That last line to me speaks

575
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 1: directly to what you're saying. It's not, in my mind

576
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 1: just about the religion. You know, this person says, how much, say,

577
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: should his parents have in our relationship? And so I

578
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: think your advice is really sound.

579
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 3: It's not.

580
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: Potentially this is not just a conversation about religion, but

581
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 1: other lifestyle chill, you know, all kinds of things that

582
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 1: she may feel the parents are going to in her

583
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: mind overstep.

584
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,719
Speaker 3: So yeah, I think she shares.

585
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 4: She he's very active in his face faith and she

586
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 4: respects it.

587
00:28:59,080 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 3: Right.

588
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:03,719
Speaker 1: So I think sitting down and communicating is always the

589
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 1: best path.

590
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 5: In these situations especially, and it's not going to be easy.

591
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 6: And I know that feels like there's better there.

592
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 5: I know when you write this, there could be it

593
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 5: feels like there's better advice out there that might not

594
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 5: have to confront it. But I think in this situation

595
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:23,680
Speaker 5: you have to confront it because I can't imagine. I

596
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 5: love my in lungs and they love me, and we

597
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 5: have a great relationship. I understand that's not the case

598
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 5: for everybody in nor do I think it's like that,

599
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 5: you know, the make or break. But I do think

600
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 5: if they are going to continue to overstep, if they're

601
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 5: going to continue to whisper words of resentment into your

602
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 5: partner's ears the over time, that we'll eat at him

603
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 5: and that's unfair to him.

604
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:44,719
Speaker 2: Got it, got it?

605
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 3: You know what?

606
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 2: We wish them a lot of luck and be true

607
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 2: to yourself.

608
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, well I gotta say that's doing it for

609
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 1: this episode.

610
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 6: That boy.

611
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,719
Speaker 1: Then we chat a lot, chat it a lot, and

612
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 1: I cannot tell you thank you so much for joining us.

613
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: You you never proved me wrong. You are a man

614
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 1: of wisdom, a man of just kindness.

615
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 3: I just you. You really win the award for.

616
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:18,320
Speaker 4: Me as well as after the baby shower whatever you

617
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 4: didn't receive, you know, Kathy and I are going to

618
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 4: give you so we'd like to know instead of doubling

619
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 4: something that you already have.

620
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 6: You're very see.

621
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 3: The registry DM me, the registry.

622
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 2: You're good at those dms now, so.

623
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's.

624
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 5: Always worked out well for me. I get a wife

625
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 5: and free gifts. This is awesome.

626
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 2: Listen. We love getting to talk to you.

627
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us, and we are

628
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 1: We want you to be sure to follow Bachelor Happy

629
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 1: Hour because if you enjoyed Bed Higgins, you're gonna love

630
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 1: what's coming up.

631
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,239
Speaker 2: And you guys know how to do it.

632
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 4: Send the question, send your comments because we're here for it.

633
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 4: You know how to do bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour,

634
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 4: or hit us up on social wherever you listen to

635
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 4: your podcast.

636
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 1: Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app,

637
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time, have

638
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:15,240
Speaker 1: a great week.

639
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 2: Thank you, Ben