Speaker 1: The Nicky Glizer podcastser Hello here, I am welcome to
Speaker 1: the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. I'm in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: Uh still, I am joined by three of my favorite
Speaker 1: people of all time. Brian Franngie is here. Hey, Brian, Hello, We're.
Speaker 2: Gonna we should clap for everybody, just like they do
Speaker 2: on the Pat McAfee show. Oh yeah, that's why I'm
Speaker 2: wearing all this cold ski.
Speaker 3: That's so fun of you.
Speaker 2: The Pat McAfee.
Speaker 1: It was so fun. We'll talk about it because it
Speaker 1: came out of nowhere, and it only came out because
Speaker 1: I reached out to you guys. And then Chris convis here,
Speaker 1: welcome back. Yeah, Chris conby everyone, and really that's a good.
Speaker 2: Fun fun and then christ applause.
Speaker 1: Yeah it does feel good. And then Andrew Colin. Everyone
Speaker 1: back to the show. Andrew Colin, welcome.
Speaker 3: Back, good to be back. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I reached out to you guys because I
Speaker 1: was like, I forget who said it to me, But oh,
Speaker 1: I was at a podcast yesterday. We're here to help.
Speaker 1: Maybe it was them. I forget who I apologized whoever
Speaker 1: told me like you need to like go hard in
Speaker 1: the sports world. What do all the sports shows? I
Speaker 1: think it was Joe Jack Johnson, not Jack Johnson. What's
Speaker 1: his name over there, Jake Johnson. So sorry, Jake. I
Speaker 1: love you so much. I've never loved anyone more than
Speaker 1: Jake Johnson. I've been talking about him all like, I
Speaker 1: can't get over how great he is. But he was like,
Speaker 1: you need to spin this into something bigger, like you
Speaker 1: got to capitalize on this, get the word out on
Speaker 1: all the sports shows. So I texted all of you
Speaker 1: being like, what are the shows I should do? And
Speaker 1: Pat McAfee show is the one? Number one you guys
Speaker 1: each all of you said number one.
Speaker 4: I knew those guys would love you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it was.
Speaker 1: It was so much fun and I just did it
Speaker 1: and they had me on. You always know it's a
Speaker 1: good segment when they have you planned before they go.
Speaker 1: It'll be a fifteen minute segment and then you're looking
Speaker 1: and it's like, oh, it's.
Speaker 2: Been thirty five thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it was awesome.
Speaker 2: I was sitting outside this building just like, uh, just
Speaker 2: watching it on YouTube.
Speaker 3: Nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was really fun and and then you buzzed
Speaker 1: in and that's the end of the story that I
Speaker 1: have nothing more to say that you got in the building.
Speaker 2: Walk up the stairs two flights.
Speaker 1: Okay, nice, you.
Speaker 3: Killed it, man, Yeah, you killed it on that.
Speaker 1: But you guys all helped me. I mean, I was
Speaker 1: Brian texted me a slew of things that I should
Speaker 1: talk about because you were a fan of the show.
Speaker 2: And I mean, I love Pat McAfee, I love the cults.
Speaker 2: I love Pat McAfee. I'm so proud that Pat McAfee
Speaker 2: is like the number one sports analysts in the world
Speaker 2: and he was a cult.
Speaker 1: Oh he's so I mean, I just had that conversation
Speaker 1: with him, and he was so fun and easy to
Speaker 1: talk to.
Speaker 2: You were amazing on it. It was perfect. You set
Speaker 2: the perfect tone. You told a bunch of jokes. They
Speaker 2: were laughing, and it's perfect for that show, like they
Speaker 2: have a bunch of you know, hockey analysts. And then
Speaker 2: general manager. You you followed a general manager who also
Speaker 2: was a fan of yours by the way, yeah wow,
Speaker 2: and the general of the same.
Speaker 3: Team, the Bucks. Well, I gotta go down Florida.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's my team too. I got to pick a
Speaker 1: team so that that and then Andrew this morning was
Speaker 1: texting me a ton of jokes. We were like, maybe
Speaker 1: gonna roast Pat a little bit. Yeah, you had some
Speaker 1: funny ones. I don't even want to say him because
Speaker 1: I feel like I love Pat so much, I know,
Speaker 1: and he did not ask for it, so we'll we'll
Speaker 1: leave those out of there. But we had some really
Speaker 1: good joke.
Speaker 2: He did not seem like he wanted to be roasting no,
Speaker 2: and you know what, like some.
Speaker 1: People, I'm the same way, don't fucking ever. Anya still
Speaker 1: talks about a day on tour like years ago where
Speaker 1: she was roasting you, I guess Andrew, and she goes
Speaker 1: and Andrew's like, I'll come back at you, and she
Speaker 1: was like, come back at me, Let's see what you got.
Speaker 1: And Andrew said something that like she can't I'm not
Speaker 1: even gonna say what it was because she can't stop
Speaker 1: seeing it. And it's like literally affected herself esteem for
Speaker 1: the rest of her life.
Speaker 3: Yes, I wrote it before.
Speaker 4: Every time Andrew sees somebody, he's like, well, if I
Speaker 4: have to roast somebody, it's.
Speaker 3: Because I was like the small little Jewish kid on
Speaker 3: the bus that was always picked on, so I had
Speaker 3: to It was so easy to just be like jew
Speaker 3: you know, and then I couldn't. I didn't have anything,
Speaker 3: like I had to like be creative, right, right, you can.
Speaker 2: Make fun of you for being Jewish, but then for
Speaker 2: all the Protestants and stuff, you have to come up
Speaker 2: with something about their personality.
Speaker 3: Exactly, do Bryant?
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 1: My favorite, my favorite joke about being as a Jewish
Speaker 1: person was Amy Schumer saying that they used to throw
Speaker 1: pennies at her and call her, you know, jew and
Speaker 1: throw pennies and then she'd go like what like screws McDuck,
Speaker 1: like yes, like that is such a funny, but but yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's horrible to be roasted. I don't think anyone.
Speaker 1: I would never I don't want it outside of that
Speaker 1: kind of arena. Literally, I I don't. I would never
Speaker 1: want it. I don't want to know anything about myself
Speaker 1: that anyone thinks is negative. It's it's when anyone starts
Speaker 1: a sentence like can I be honest with you? Or
Speaker 1: like hey, I've been thinking can you sit down, like
Speaker 1: can we talk? I don't want because it's that to
Speaker 1: me is like there's some criticism coming your way and
Speaker 1: I literally can't handle it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't mind looks like makes it looks.
Speaker 1: Really like because why because you can change it?
Speaker 3: No, I I'm the most self deprecating. I mean, I
Speaker 3: think it's hilarious to make fun of looks. I think
Speaker 3: when it starts to get like, there's who you are,
Speaker 3: who you are and yeah, yeah achievements or work ethic
Speaker 3: or my mom didn't love me, you'll never be as
Speaker 3: good as your brother. Yes, you're right.
Speaker 1: I think looks for me are so much worse. Obviously,
Speaker 1: it's just like what you kind of get your worth from,
Speaker 1: I guess, but I can get hit in other ways
Speaker 1: as well. But it's yeah, it's it's not it's not fun,
Speaker 1: and I'm glad I'm out of the woods on that
Speaker 1: where it's like the jokes that were made, I'm just
Speaker 1: like kind of over already.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know you move on.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like the one about you being old, Like it's fun.
Speaker 1: It's a good joke though, Yeah, it was so funny.
Speaker 3: Struck, Yeah, it was really.
Speaker 1: I saw it in the prompter to like right before
Speaker 1: he said, you know, he said he's talking about Bill
Speaker 1: Belichick dating a young girl and he's like, you, coach,
Speaker 1: you need to date someone more your age, Like nicky.
Speaker 1: Like the way he delivered it was great too. And
Speaker 1: I saw like NICKI coming up and I go, here
Speaker 1: it comes. And you even saw his rehearsal set, and
Speaker 1: you you were what a what a team player you
Speaker 1: are because you had some insider information. You did not
Speaker 1: deflate the balls for me because you knew that Gronk
Speaker 1: was gonna call me old, but you just said, hey,
Speaker 1: I saw Gronk set. He does have a joke about
Speaker 1: you that tends to address the fact that your age
Speaker 1: is a number, Like you said. You weren't even saying
Speaker 1: like old. You were like, your age is a number
Speaker 1: that is higher than other numbers, and I was like like,
Speaker 1: and I only read it after like, but it was
Speaker 1: I like that you like kind of had his back
Speaker 1: and were kind of supportive of the roast environment where
Speaker 1: I'm not supposed to know anything and you do have to.
Speaker 1: I love playing fair. I hate cheating. I will. That's
Speaker 1: why it kind of surprised me reading about Tom and
Speaker 1: even having Tom and me it that he cheated kind
Speaker 1: of or saying no, it wasn't any mission.
Speaker 3: Deniability totally because he's that was so funny.
Speaker 1: He could just say you because his joke was like
Speaker 1: the investigation that you guys put on to find out
Speaker 1: if I had deflated these balls or knew about it?
Speaker 1: Was you spent twenty million dollars, pay me to million dollars,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you I did it. So he could just
Speaker 1: say I was saying I would. I would just lie
Speaker 1: and say I did it for twenty million dollars. That
Speaker 1: is his deniability, but it's also could be taken as
Speaker 1: he admitted it, which was a very I loved that
Speaker 1: joke because it told that line of what.
Speaker 2: Is he admitting mission?
Speaker 1: I think it. I think we all know it was
Speaker 1: because we he definitely didn't.
Speaker 4: Know Oj Simpsons I did. That's what it was totally.
Speaker 2: Also like deflating footballs, really, is that like such a
Speaker 2: huge deal?
Speaker 1: I guess in the scheme of things it's not. But
Speaker 1: if everyone is cheating, I I probably would cheat if
Speaker 1: I'm just to be fair with everyone else.
Speaker 4: We all know what they say.
Speaker 1: If wait, hold on, I know it once again. If
Speaker 1: you if you're ain't cheating, you're not true.
Speaker 3: Ryan basically is that it.
Speaker 4: If you ain't cheating, you ain't try.
Speaker 3: You've heard that, right. Bob Dylan had some line like that,
Speaker 3: No he really did Bob Dylan out of line, like.
Speaker 2: Fuck the Jets, I think, yeah, yeah, give me said.
Speaker 3: Tom Brady killed Anon Hernandez. I think that's what Bob
Speaker 3: Dylan said. I remember he was out of his time though. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: that was a Bob Dylan lyric of his new B side.
Speaker 1: Well, I just found out I'm doing John Mulaney's UH
Speaker 1: Live show. I was a fan, like I started out
Speaker 1: the weak being like a fan of it, being like, man,
Speaker 1: I wish I could do that show and it's so funny,
Speaker 1: like it never a million years would I be on
Speaker 1: the Pat McAfee show to promote my special Someday You'll
Speaker 1: Die that's coming out on Saturday, last Saturday, because you're
Speaker 1: hearing this the week after, but this is the week
Speaker 1: but we're taping it the week before. And then also
Speaker 1: John Mulaney's show, I was not in. John knows of
Speaker 1: me were friendly and he's not. There's nothing, no reason
Speaker 1: I would not ever be on that show if it
Speaker 1: was in a long run. But they're only doing six
Speaker 1: episodes and I'm gonna be And they just wrote me
Speaker 1: this morning being like John wants to have you on.
Speaker 3: We're not gonna harp on this day.
Speaker 4: Because I'm sure you don't want to you don't want
Speaker 4: to get go too far into this. But Nicky is
Speaker 4: continued to be the toast of the town.
Speaker 3: Through this whole week.
Speaker 4: Like I'm sure you guys, because everybody knows you guys
Speaker 4: are very close to Nicki as well. I'm sure people
Speaker 4: are texting you about how great Nicky was.
Speaker 2: I getting one single text I texted Brian, She's overrated.
Speaker 4: I'm still getting things like pouring in being like I
Speaker 4: just saw the roast. Nikki was the best.
Speaker 1: It's to the point where if you didn't text me
Speaker 1: and you're like a friend of like, it's weird. It's
Speaker 1: like nothing like that. There's no birth you can skip
Speaker 1: my birthdays. People can forget my birthdays. They can forget
Speaker 1: me getting if I get have a baby, if I
Speaker 1: get married, if I have a special come out, like
Speaker 1: I don't care having a baby, right, no, no, not
Speaker 1: like I wouldn't do it now because the only reason
Speaker 1: I do it. Yeah, right, that was a good joke.
Speaker 1: Was that was a great joke that I have the
Speaker 1: I have the face of Tiffany Trump and the reproductive
Speaker 1: system of Baron or something something like that and the
Speaker 1: tits of Trump the tag we wrote for it andrewed it.
Speaker 1: But I now I really the only appeal to having
Speaker 1: a baby, what part of the peal would be, like
Speaker 1: this new identity you get to have, like I'm a mom,
Speaker 1: like look like and and I do think some moms
Speaker 1: do that, Like it's an identity of like I need
Speaker 1: a thing going on and I maybe there's a world
Speaker 1: in which that would have been interesting to me at
Speaker 1: some point down the line. No interest. Now I've I've
Speaker 1: summited Everest. I'm not gonna climb Killimajara. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, I don't why would you? I would never,
Speaker 1: It's not even a consideration.
Speaker 4: Your new identity now has being on every single show
Speaker 4: in podcast in America.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just I've never been so beloved, Like, let
Speaker 1: me just say this, I've never I've never had a
Speaker 1: moment where everyone's just like happy for me, they like
Speaker 1: me the la times, the the headline was well done, Mickey.
Speaker 1: I've never had any kind.
Speaker 3: Of like, like am I like make a wish kind
Speaker 3: of thing?
Speaker 4: Yeah, hey, the best he's were in on this early
Speaker 4: all you best? He totally I've always thought that love
Speaker 4: Mackey for Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1: But I do feel like it's like that that article
Speaker 1: today and the other times, I'm like, I do feel
Speaker 1: like I won the Super Bowl. I'm going to like
Speaker 1: the parade, like it kind of feels like that kind
Speaker 1: of vibe in the air, and I'll it's gonna get
Speaker 1: annoying of me talking about it at some point, but
Speaker 1: I just I can't. I wish everyone could experience the
Speaker 1: love that I'm feeling from people.
Speaker 4: You're being called the MVP, yeah, which is kind of
Speaker 4: amazing because like that's a big deal in sports.
Speaker 3: That's the main deal.
Speaker 1: It's the biggest deal. And I didn't know it was
Speaker 1: the biggest deal until I was talking to you about Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm going to rank Tom Brady's achievements here, all of them,
Speaker 1: and you go, well, MVPs first, and I go, really,
Speaker 1: being the MVP of the super Bowl would be the first,
Speaker 1: and You're like, yeah, this's be it's up there. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I would just think that's like, that's fine, that's good,
Speaker 1: But I'm winning the super Bowl.
Speaker 2: He's a big team guy. I think you probably down
Speaker 2: if you asked him, maybe if you if you went
Speaker 2: into his heart and really found the truth, MVP would
Speaker 2: be number one. Yeah, but winning the.
Speaker 4: Super Bowl, it is, well, MVP of the super Bowl
Speaker 4: already employed, you've won the super Bowl is the same guy.
Speaker 1: But like all team people, I think at their core
Speaker 1: are like they want like Tom Brady wants to be
Speaker 1: Tom Brady of course, but he is a generous person.
Speaker 1: But I think at your core you want to be
Speaker 1: the center of it. I don't know, speaking as Tom Brady,
Speaker 1: we wouldn't know anything about it.
Speaker 2: This much crazy it could get to the point where
Speaker 2: it starts to feel sarcastic, like can you just read
Speaker 2: well done Nikki Glazer and like italics.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what's been kind of the response. Like I've
Speaker 1: never been someone people have been like you're great and
Speaker 1: you work hard and like all these things, and I've
Speaker 1: agreed with it. I've never thought I've deserved anything more
Speaker 1: than that. I've never been like when is my day
Speaker 1: gonna come? Ever? I really haven't, but it has arrived
Speaker 1: where I am like the bell of the ball and
Speaker 1: cool people, the cool comedy people like me, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and are welcome, like come hang with us. We do
Speaker 1: arenas and you are going to do those.
Speaker 2: Soon too, Like give you a shout out on flagrant.
Speaker 3: It's nice.
Speaker 1: It's nice to be Tim Welke. Tim Dillon welcomed me
Speaker 1: to the top tier. He did didn't welcome me, but
Speaker 1: it felt like he's up there and he's like he
Speaker 1: gave me a hand and like pulled me up and
Speaker 1: he just said, you're on the top tier now. It's
Speaker 1: it's a long time, like it was just a little
Speaker 1: but he acknowledged it. And it's like it does feel
Speaker 1: like I just got that like seven timers jacket arsenal
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 2: Maybe you'll get the the farm now.
Speaker 1: I want to get in these pedophile rings. Is that
Speaker 1: in coming?
Speaker 2: Yeah a little yeah, Baily.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: My friend's husband is a billionaire and he just got
Speaker 1: back from Necker Island.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and I go, tell us, what.
Speaker 1: Isn't that the place where I've heard of this island?
Speaker 1: It's where like he was there with Richard Branson and.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes it is the island.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not good to own an island.
Speaker 3: You shouldn't after Epstein, don't we all think that island
Speaker 3: an island no more?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: See that's shady.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, you feel like island today?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 1: Well that there's no, nothing weird there.
Speaker 2: Only mister Beast has an island.
Speaker 1: Oh that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet.
Speaker 1: I bet they're like buying remember when everyone's buying stars. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I bet they're like that. Like there's just little dots
Speaker 1: everywhere that you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's a limited number.
Speaker 1: And with the polar ice caps smelting, the rising, less islands.
Speaker 2: Less islands, red skins. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Also with the income inequality, just more people can afford
Speaker 2: to buy an island and less people can afford to
Speaker 2: live on that island that they're going to buy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who is going to run the island? Who's going
Speaker 1: to change your sheets? Who's going to iron your sheets?
Speaker 1: That's what rich people do. They have people iron their sheets.
Speaker 1: That's something that I only had one time when I
Speaker 1: was on the yacht and it felt totally stupid to
Speaker 1: me to do. But I saw these women ironing sheets
Speaker 1: on a yacht Like it's just But I can't wait
Speaker 1: to be a part of that now. And that's where
Speaker 1: my life is. So we'll come back to the show,
Speaker 1: but I am to be different. So we're gonna go
Speaker 1: on a break, but I'm getting even gonna change in
Speaker 1: the next five minutes. After these commercials, So stay with us.
Speaker 1: We'll be back into this. We're what are the last night?
Speaker 1: What did we do? We went to dinner with Rachel.
Speaker 1: Rachel finesein and I went to dinner at Nobu and
Speaker 1: we show up and we're both wearing the same blazer
Speaker 1: that we both got from a Cynthia Rally show that
Speaker 1: we did. She had like comedians on this New York
Speaker 1: Fashion Week show a couple of years ago, and they like,
Speaker 1: let us go to their showroom and pick out stuff,
Speaker 1: and Rachel and I both picked out like this oversized
Speaker 1: pitt and stripe blazer. And last night we showed up
Speaker 1: at dinner and this was like a year and a
Speaker 1: half ago, two years ago that we did this, and
Speaker 1: we both were wearing the same blazer, and it felt
Speaker 1: I've never felt more. We were so happy to be
Speaker 1: wearing the same thing. That's a really magical moment in
Speaker 1: a girl's life. To best friends who would don't see
Speaker 1: each other. We only see each other five times a year.
Speaker 4: I was I was so happy that you guys went
Speaker 4: to dinner. I was really jealous because I always said,
Speaker 4: if I could you know when the people are like
Speaker 4: if you go to dinner with five people. Who would
Speaker 4: the five people be? And I would be like, I
Speaker 4: want five Rachel Feinstein's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well she there was. It was so fun. And
Speaker 1: then Andrew joined us about forty five minutes and dropped
Speaker 1: in and yeah, I was She's so fucking funny.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's the best.
Speaker 1: She really is, and she's nice and she could like.
Speaker 1: I was like, Rachel, I really want to talk to
Speaker 1: you about like like I want to go deep with you,
Speaker 1: like I want to like I want to talk about everything.
Speaker 1: I go, can you are you cool with Andrew Cumming?
Speaker 1: Like can you get talk like that? And she's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't care, like she just she'll I like that.
Speaker 1: She I like when people are like if I vouch
Speaker 1: for someone, well she already knows you. But if I
Speaker 1: vouch for someone like their a vault, you can be
Speaker 1: honest with them. They'll be just as honest about their
Speaker 1: life that they trust me and go, yeah, he can
Speaker 1: hear about my marriage or my kids, or my insecurities
Speaker 1: about like whatever it is.
Speaker 3: And she has a special coming out on Netflix.
Speaker 1: Yeah Maye's money first called big Guy. Big Guy one
Speaker 1: of my favorite comedians of all time. Watch our specials
Speaker 1: support female comedy. It's not even female comedy. It's like
Speaker 1: the best comment. She's so fucking funny. But yeah, big
Speaker 1: guy on Netflix. I can't wait for even the trailer
Speaker 1: to come out. I'm so excited.
Speaker 2: But yeah, we had a Netflix has amazing trailers too.
Speaker 2: I feel like sometimes the trailers are better than the
Speaker 2: show really often.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I asked her, I go watch, let me
Speaker 1: see your trailer, shees. I don't think they do trailers.
Speaker 2: Well, they do it on YouTube.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh okay, I think they just do clips and
Speaker 1: I go, you have a trailer.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know how the No, I don't know
Speaker 2: how the stand up specials go. But for regular shows,
Speaker 2: they'll do a trailer about a week a month before,
Speaker 2: a week before. Yeah, and they're almost half the time
Speaker 2: they're better than the show. Like, the trailers are so
Speaker 2: good if I just watch I used to go to
Speaker 2: the gym and like on the screen there there was
Speaker 2: a trailer channel. Sometimes you can just watch movie trailers
Speaker 2: while running. And if I could just watch Netflix trailers,
Speaker 2: I could do a full workout.
Speaker 1: Wow are they so? They're different than like movie trailers?
Speaker 1: You feel like that you would see it.
Speaker 2: They're similar, they're similar, but it just pumps you up
Speaker 2: for the show, and the show could never live up
Speaker 2: to the.
Speaker 1: Two because it's like highlights and set to a song. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like all the cuts are hitting, like when the beat
Speaker 1: kicks it like it's.
Speaker 4: There's some like non sequiturs where you're like, you know,
Speaker 4: you're just doing kind of funny things and you're it
Speaker 4: kind of draws you and you're like, what is she
Speaker 4: doing here?
Speaker 3: Yes, what's this?
Speaker 1: Directors and a lot of I've gotten a lot of
Speaker 1: compliments on the trailer actually, people from people who like
Speaker 1: know what they're talking about. I was like, oh, that's
Speaker 1: so nice. But yeah, I mean I've uh one time,
Speaker 1: I've I've talked about a million times. But my favorite
Speaker 1: movie is the Social Network trailer. Yeah, it's the it's
Speaker 1: it's the greatest.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, it was.
Speaker 1: It's not that it's I'm a creep.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Then and it's like boys choir, Yes, and it's scorse trailer.
Speaker 4: Oh so good, And David Fincher was like, Hey, who
Speaker 4: can direct the trailer to my movie?
Speaker 1: It's Oh my god. It's like a music and it's
Speaker 1: weird that music videos aren't really getting like their short
Speaker 1: form like why why are they dead?
Speaker 2: Because there's nowhere to put them.
Speaker 1: It's just on on videos YouTube, but there's tons of
Speaker 1: places music video.
Speaker 2: There's nowhere to put video content anymore.
Speaker 1: There's where there's nowhere not to put video content. It
Speaker 1: can be anything.
Speaker 3: I feel like music is TikTok is just trailers for songs.
Speaker 3: Oh really?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're getting like tell me like what's going on there?
Speaker 1: And like what do you spend your like what's your algorithm?
Speaker 3: I have golf, I have random people getting knocked out.
Speaker 4: On crime faces.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Is there a genre of girls with amazing asses going up.
Speaker 3: To drive, like going up to drive? Yeah there are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're always like these fit girls that like you
Speaker 1: just look at.
Speaker 2: Their still camera from behind while they're swinging and it's
Speaker 2: really look at my swing, but it's really look at
Speaker 2: my ass.
Speaker 1: Yes, it couldn't be more clear to look at their
Speaker 1: like it's just so I'm almost swing.
Speaker 2: Isn't that good?
Speaker 3: Well they don't even have a club in there?
Speaker 1: What and so what out? Like what what are you?
Speaker 3: There's some musicians that you wantn't know that I know
Speaker 3: are gonna blow up. Jake Jill and maybe oh yeah,
Speaker 3: Benson Boone.
Speaker 2: This Benson Boone, so you know Benson Benson Boons. When
Speaker 2: the song goes viral and it becomes trending on TikTok,
Speaker 2: then that song becomes a number one song on Spotify.
Speaker 1: But people only will know, Like these artists are saying
Speaker 1: that they'll go and they'll play the show, and everyone
Speaker 1: shows up and they just sing the one fifteen second
Speaker 1: part of the song that's from the TikTok.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that could happen.
Speaker 3: The song, Yeah, they just repeat it seven times.
Speaker 2: Sometimes a good thing is sometimes it digs into the
Speaker 2: past and resurrects a song that we all loved, Like
Speaker 2: it happened to Billy Joel with a couple of his songs.
Speaker 2: And there was that song that just that just got
Speaker 2: played that was actually played at the Tom Brady Roast
Speaker 2: after party. It would never have been played if it
Speaker 2: did not trend on TikTok. It's I forgot the guy's name,
Speaker 2: but it's a you want to know where I've been,
Speaker 2: I've been trying to I can't sing.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, okay, so yeah that no, oh I
Speaker 1: don't think.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know it's a white guy that everyone used
Speaker 2: to think was black because his voice sounded so much
Speaker 2: like a soul singer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: I have a song that is out now on Spotify
Speaker 1: and iTunes or whatever songs. It's coming out tonight, I
Speaker 1: think as we're shooting this, but like it's out now
Speaker 1: when people are listening to this. It's called Someday You'll Die.
Speaker 1: It's on Spotify. Besties know about it. They've heard about
Speaker 1: it since the inception of it. They've been awaiting it.
Speaker 1: There's no bestie listening right now to the podcast who
Speaker 1: hasn't heard the song already, even you know, I play
Speaker 1: it during my lives, so they're well aware. So tell
Speaker 1: your friends, put it on your playlist, share it with people.
Speaker 1: Tim this morning, Tim Convey, your brother who wrote the
Speaker 1: song with me and helped produce or it did produce.
Speaker 1: He sent me a lyric video that was made, but
Speaker 1: it's using all It's really cool that they did it,
Speaker 1: but it's using all like stock footage for every line.
Speaker 1: So it's like I get a text from my best
Speaker 1: friend and it's like a girl in bed getting a
Speaker 1: text and then it's like but I can't get out
Speaker 1: of bed, and she like can't get out of bed
Speaker 1: and it's like it's all stocks like see and say yes,
Speaker 1: and it just it feels like I was like, can
Speaker 1: we just say this was made by chat GBT, Like
Speaker 1: I don't want to say that I paid anyone to
Speaker 1: do this because it's not good. It's not like there's
Speaker 1: nothing artistic about but I appreciate that it was made.
Speaker 1: But then there's also like he goes, what ideas do
Speaker 1: you have for a lyric video? Can we still just
Speaker 1: use the lyrics and maybe just put up a picture?
Speaker 1: But the like the fonts or even like live Laugh
Speaker 1: Love a little bit, like they try to do funny
Speaker 1: things with the fonts, and I'm like it was a
Speaker 1: nice effort and I appreciate it, but I don't and
Speaker 1: I don't know the answer to what a lyric video
Speaker 1: should be. But my idea I think I'm gonna shoot
Speaker 1: today is just me writing it wow, and then we
Speaker 1: just because I like watching people write with like a
Speaker 1: cool marker.
Speaker 3: Like this is just satisfied you like walking through a fielding.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I would do a still shot of me walking down
Speaker 1: sunset singing the whole entire thing without without stopping. That's
Speaker 1: a good idea, just something like that.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's how the to go to Hollywood Forever
Speaker 2: Cemetery and walk through.
Speaker 1: That because some day you'll die.
Speaker 4: Yeh okay, they were on something.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: Forrest Lawn. I went to Forest Lawn Cemetery. Ye, it
Speaker 4: was like the most depressing thing I've ever Why listen
Speaker 4: to this? This is so bad, so I can't. I
Speaker 4: shouldn't even tell this, it's too bad. I down to
Speaker 4: like whatever, So okay, I'll tell you. It was right
Speaker 4: before Easter, and I kind of like cemetery. So I
Speaker 4: was walking through and like I think, like anyway, walking through,
Speaker 4: and I'm just like looking at at different like gravestones,
Speaker 4: and they were decorated for Easter. So anything that was
Speaker 4: decorated for Easter. I was like, Oh, these people, there's
Speaker 4: something current about this, and I would be kind of curious,
Speaker 4: so I'd go along and I saw a gravestone of
Speaker 4: a kid that was has been dead for forty years
Speaker 4: and it was decorated with all of So somebody who's
Speaker 4: been coming for forty years and decorating the gravestone and
Speaker 4: the kid was only alive for six days.
Speaker 3: WHOA?
Speaker 4: So that person was going there at least every Easter
Speaker 4: and putting like children decorations.
Speaker 3: It was like yeah, it was like touching.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like absolutely, God's also the day that Jesus came
Speaker 1: back to life, right, yeah, but you maybe it'll work.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you had to like do a double take reading that.
Speaker 3: It just probably it just s had like May eleven
Speaker 3: through May seventeen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was like August like nineteen eighty two to
Speaker 4: like August sixth, nineteen eighty. Yeah, it's like August eleventh,
Speaker 4: nineteen eighty two.
Speaker 1: And you're like, oh my god, well I've been doing
Speaker 1: this joke on stage.
Speaker 3: Yeah, more in six days than you did in six minutes.
Speaker 3: You know, it was close. It's closed. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I wonder when for longer. Yeah, I wonder what I did. Yeah,
Speaker 3: well done, kid, well done, kiddy flowers.
Speaker 1: But uh no, I di I do this joke about
Speaker 1: how people think their kid's gonna like we like, no
Speaker 1: one really needs your kids, stop having them, and we
Speaker 1: we get it. You think your kid's gonna cure cancer,
Speaker 1: but it's more likely your kids will get cancer. And
Speaker 1: I and I go and and that always doesn't do
Speaker 1: well because people picture kids with cancer and that's sad.
Speaker 1: But it is actually more like that your kid, as
Speaker 1: a kid, will get cancer. It's just statistics. Then cure cancer.
Speaker 1: It's one hundred percent, it's infinitely, infinitely more likely. That's
Speaker 1: just true, but it is offensive and it makes people sad.
Speaker 1: So now I go, it's more likely that you're your
Speaker 1: kid's not got to cure cancer. It's probably gonna get
Speaker 1: cancer at some point in its lifetime when it is
Speaker 1: an old person. And then I go, because that's more
Speaker 1: palatable than saying it they're getting cancer as a kid,
Speaker 1: isn't it. And then that now gets a laugh because
Speaker 1: I'm calling out like for some reason, both are true
Speaker 1: and both are sad, but like it's just so much
Speaker 1: like I find them very special. Uh No, that joke
Speaker 1: isn't in Special, but the version I'm telling now will
Speaker 1: probably be in the next special because now it's working
Speaker 1: because I'm addressing the thing that is uncomfortable about it
Speaker 1: and now making a joke out of that.
Speaker 4: It's crazy because you're special. You had like an hour
Speaker 4: and forty five minutes a material going in and so
Speaker 4: much of it got cut.
Speaker 1: Yeah it was it was too too much to take.
Speaker 3: Yeah, too much things.
Speaker 1: But the next special I'm approaching at Rose style six
Speaker 1: minutes at a time.
Speaker 3: Oh oh wow, on it all trailers. I love that trailers.
Speaker 1: Love it being gay or Settleman and sorry, oh that's
Speaker 1: a guy I went to high school. I have got
Speaker 1: a lot of Edelmans in my wife, and you're they're
Speaker 1: all gay, very common name, I think. Actually Alex Edelman
Speaker 1: is bisexual.
Speaker 3: So he came out for his special yes special back.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Netflix wouldn't give him on unless he was interesting.
Speaker 3: Do you think if you get kid cancer, though, and
Speaker 3: you die, you get you're more like people will show
Speaker 3: up for forty years? Would you rather have that? Or
Speaker 3: die of cancer and an old age and and people show.
Speaker 2: Up for me.
Speaker 1: I don't care because I'm dead, so I'd like to
Speaker 1: live longer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, living longer is better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that'd be really sad if you just had to
Speaker 1: wait by your grave after you died, all the time
Speaker 1: waiting for people to come by, Like you're just sitting
Speaker 1: there being like I hope someone stops by.
Speaker 3: I've never been to my grandparents grave. I don't think
Speaker 3: you should go.
Speaker 2: It actually feels nice to do it.
Speaker 3: I love going. I don't know where it is. Yeah, actually,
Speaker 3: my one Grandpa got buried in a cemetery and apparently
Speaker 3: they just put more bodies. They stack them, they stacked
Speaker 3: them up, and we didn't.
Speaker 4: Like, it's no ways spooning somebody forever.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's crazy, Well not really, I mean the their
Speaker 2: body biodegrades after like you know, eight years. Well they're bones,
Speaker 2: and that the bones are bones last longer longer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes there's mummified things like you see bones of
Speaker 1: like the bones like people are sacrificed and they put
Speaker 1: them in like a crazy like they're two people cradling
Speaker 1: each other. I want to be buried like in a
Speaker 1: fetal like that would be cool to like my bones
Speaker 1: are like so they think something I was like bludgeoned
Speaker 1: to death by someone, even though so in my casket
Speaker 1: I'm like crumpled so that when aliens discover me, they go,
Speaker 1: what happened on this bitch?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I like that.
Speaker 3: I want to be like blowing myself down on myself.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, finally I.
Speaker 1: Could, because all of your muscle isn't stopping you, Like
Speaker 1: what's stopping you from I guess your spine or is
Speaker 1: it your fascia enough?
Speaker 3: I mean, when it really comes down to its long enough.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just can't someone who was able to touch
Speaker 1: their mouth to it. There was some person I remember that.
Speaker 2: Was like, well, there was like a rumor going around.
Speaker 2: I forgot who it was where someone got a rib removed.
Speaker 1: Who was We had a joke about it the other
Speaker 1: day because I was going to talk about how Kim
Speaker 1: Kardashian like took quite a beating that night. But then
Speaker 1: the next night she was at the met Gallon. She
Speaker 1: was wearing a corset that was so painful looking. I
Speaker 1: mean literally, her waist was the size of her neck.
Speaker 1: It was no difference that small, And we were talking
Speaker 1: about like she had a rib removed like Marilyn Manson.
Speaker 1: She either wanted to fit in the dress or she
Speaker 1: wanted to suck Marilyn Manson's.
Speaker 2: Rib.
Speaker 3: It kind of makes sense because then they could like
Speaker 3: bond over it, you know, But she would.
Speaker 1: Never because he's so white. Was our like, he's the
Speaker 1: whitest white makeup. Oh that's true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. He Yeah, he doesn't go full.
Speaker 2: But there are cemeteries all across this world that are
Speaker 2: just like forgotten. Like you think there's some permanence in
Speaker 2: being buried in a cemetery, and there's like cemeteries from
Speaker 2: the Civil War that are just covered up by a
Speaker 2: mall or just unmarked graves everywhere. Like you really can't
Speaker 2: step on a place on Earth where someone has it
Speaker 2: been laid to rest.
Speaker 1: Right, I mean it makes sense. There's so many more
Speaker 1: dead people than they are alive people.
Speaker 4: Well, how do you like, Okay, when when it's all
Speaker 4: over for Brian, what do you want to happen to
Speaker 4: That's a great question.
Speaker 2: Remains frozen and then resurrected technology.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't talk about Brian's death. It's it's not
Speaker 1: a thing that happens now.
Speaker 2: My dad, though we've talked about this, he's interested in
Speaker 2: a haunted forest. These are trees that have a little
Speaker 2: sack underneath of them where you can put the body
Speaker 2: in the sack so that it helps a tree grow,
Speaker 2: and then the tree is the thing you go see
Speaker 2: and not the gravestone. And in a bunch of trees
Speaker 2: like this, it's they call it a haunted forest.
Speaker 1: Oh god, it's so gross to think of like a
Speaker 1: crumpled body like in a.
Speaker 2: Saxon your energy or whatever.
Speaker 1: You're Yeah, I don't mind being thrown into the ground.
Speaker 1: Just no casket. Like the worms get you quicker and
Speaker 1: you become part of the earth. I like that better
Speaker 1: than being like it's going to take billions of millennia
Speaker 1: to go through the wood and the shellac on the
Speaker 1: wood and then the like.
Speaker 2: I won't take billions of millennial you'll you'll biodegrade inside
Speaker 2: that coffin.
Speaker 1: I don't care what the fuck happens. I literally, I've
Speaker 1: talked about this before. If you are someone who wants
Speaker 1: to fuck dead people, I'll give my body to neck feelix.
Speaker 3: I don't care if you.
Speaker 4: Don't care, Hey, what would be the difference?
Speaker 1: It doesn't I was gonna say the smell, but I
Speaker 1: don't even know about that.
Speaker 3: When it happened, I think I might be wetter.
Speaker 1: Involving fluid might be.
Speaker 3: To be your biggest special ever.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so funny. A plus plus clip it,
Speaker 1: clip it, that's clipped. You're getting clipped, brother.
Speaker 3: Clip But what do you want?
Speaker 4: What do you want to happen to your bod strapped
Speaker 4: to a chair donated to the military and shot at.
Speaker 4: Just give it to science. Science, Just do whatever science
Speaker 4: wants to do. If it can, like help a kid
Speaker 4: learn how to do surgery or it doesn't. I don't care.
Speaker 2: Well, you can't choose that when you donate it to science,
Speaker 2: you don't know where it's going to go. You might
Speaker 2: wind up getting strapped to a thing and shot with
Speaker 2: a missile.
Speaker 4: But like I said, I don't care. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 4: whatever is useful.
Speaker 1: They might study nacrophilia.
Speaker 4: I would like to be useful.
Speaker 1: They might do a study with people want to corpses,
Speaker 1: and that might be science.
Speaker 4: Couldn't care less.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't care either.
Speaker 3: That'll be used.
Speaker 4: But you know what I do, even though I feel
Speaker 4: that way, Like in movies where people have to like
Speaker 4: like recover the body from like a war field, I
Speaker 4: always find that very moving.
Speaker 1: Sure, yeah, and you know what, second thought on this,
Speaker 1: I do like the idea of a ashes spreading thing,
Speaker 1: Like I think that's very beautiful and I think that
Speaker 1: I would want that gift for my family and friends
Speaker 1: to like have a closure moment like that. And there's
Speaker 1: just something about being lowered into the ground that is
Speaker 1: so sad and being kept Like I would like a
Speaker 1: place for them to go to like remember me and
Speaker 1: visit because I think that is important, like a gravestone.
Speaker 1: And maybe put a little bit of the ashes in that,
Speaker 1: but then the rest of the ashes. I don't know
Speaker 1: where you'd scatter it over the fucking Kia forum. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you that.
Speaker 4: Okay, where would you Where would you want ashes? Right now?
Speaker 4: Because you, let's say you could do it like a
Speaker 4: few places about Taylor.
Speaker 1: Swiths, Rhode Island beach House. Now, I would say, probably. God,
Speaker 1: that's such a good question right now. Maybe like my
Speaker 1: childhood home, like the like Cincinnati front Cincinnati, like the
Speaker 1: little like in like the little wooded area on the side.
Speaker 1: I think it's not even there, but like in the
Speaker 1: front yard where I used to run around as a
Speaker 1: little girl. Like I think that's I'm almost getting choked
Speaker 1: up thinking about it, Like that's like a that seems nice,
Speaker 1: even though I haven't been back there since I was six. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what about it? Seems I don't know where were scattering them.
Speaker 3: About?
Speaker 2: You? What are you doing up there?
Speaker 3: You can put my ashes, I think, inside a dildo
Speaker 3: and give it to Burno, give her its not the plan. Yeah,
Speaker 3: finally I can have a red penis something like special
Speaker 3: to me. I here up almost thinking about about it.
Speaker 3: It's crazy, what money you got? Everything like your childhood home. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Remember I used to run around. I don't it was
Speaker 3: a child. Yeah, I don't want to be when we met.
Speaker 3: Cut that, clip it. I mean, I don't know. Clip it,
Speaker 3: cut it out, burn it, run it around. I'm dead autism.
Speaker 3: I think I have it. I yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I I get scared about cremation. I don't. For some reason,
Speaker 3: I still think I could feel it. Yeah, I'm crazier.
Speaker 2: You should be scared about getting lowered into the ground too.
Speaker 2: Then it's really cold.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 3: I had to do that for my grandpa. Actually I
Speaker 3: was never You did go one time just to dig
Speaker 3: it years before he died. Get up kill his watch.
Speaker 3: That was a present that I stole from my aunt.
Speaker 3: She doesn't know she's deaf, so she really is like
Speaker 3: clip it, clip it.
Speaker 1: Don't do captions.
Speaker 3: Captions if anything, turn it down a little. You never know,
Speaker 3: so I.
Speaker 1: Might just started hearing if it's loud enough.
Speaker 3: You really do know. She got a lot of money.
Speaker 3: You know, she gets a lot of money. You never know. Science.
Speaker 3: I had to shovel in the Jewish religion. You have
Speaker 3: to literally put the dirt.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, everyone takes all.
Speaker 3: That was intense. Yeah, you know, just like hearing it
Speaker 3: hit the cast.
Speaker 1: We all got to we send in the line and
Speaker 1: each got to do a thing.
Speaker 3: Oh really, it was cool.
Speaker 1: It's a nice tradition.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys got some good ones.
Speaker 1: And then you also like let people you have like
Speaker 1: what's the morning? Yeah, the morning, Yeah, that's really that's
Speaker 1: nice too.
Speaker 2: Brings you food for a week.
Speaker 1: It's like the paid leave for a postpartum, paid leave
Speaker 1: of like of death. I feel like where it's like
Speaker 1: we take a little bit more time to I don't
Speaker 1: know why it's I'm comparing it to that, but some
Speaker 1: people like to give you no time. They're just like,
Speaker 1: come back to work.
Speaker 4: Because child is a huge death, death to your body.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I do think that sometimes all the time,
Speaker 1: but some people want it.
Speaker 3: It was funny my grandpa got buried and then my
Speaker 3: grandma died like eight years late and got buried next
Speaker 3: to him, and I could just imagine him being so pissed,
Speaker 3: Oh my god that day, like he's like, you know,
Speaker 3: I'm banging Hooters girls in heaven and now Grandma, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm home movin.
Speaker 1: Louis has a bit about that. I'm like, why are
Speaker 1: he has good We've touched on a couple of things,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Louis.
Speaker 2: Has that bit too, Like always got the bit about
Speaker 2: getting sucked as a body.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like.
Speaker 1: A medical student just gets an They just put an
Speaker 1: f on you and just slide you down a shoe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Grandma, they put an F plus on it. And
Speaker 2: then there's the fucking the dead body. He's like, I
Speaker 2: want my body to be like the Willy Wonka, like
Speaker 2: someone comes out and you can come on my back
Speaker 2: and pretend I am your father.
Speaker 3: Yes that no one would know that song. And until
Speaker 3: TikTok brought it back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well Timothy Shalloman brought it back.
Speaker 3: Watch that chocolate. I don't have to get it. It's
Speaker 3: not good. Literally, I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 1: I felt the joke bubbling in you and I had
Speaker 1: to get it, Like I literally felt it physically, the
Speaker 1: joke in your stern them. That's so funny. I my
Speaker 1: grandma actually went so my grandpa died probably ten years
Speaker 1: before she did, and you know, for the first five years,
Speaker 1: it was like, I can't wait to see Grandpa like
Speaker 1: my husband again. And then she started getting dogs, like
Speaker 1: she got senior dogs. They would just give her dogs
Speaker 1: and then they would die and she would and then
Speaker 1: at the end of her life, she was like, I
Speaker 1: can't wait to see my dogs, and I would be
Speaker 1: I literally was like, what about Grandpa And she was like,
Speaker 1: I'm good, Like I had a really good time with
Speaker 1: him while he was here, Like she was like he
Speaker 1: was kind of an asshole, like kind of grumpy. She
Speaker 1: was constantly like catering to him, and it was like,
Speaker 1: it's a different It was a marriage of the forties,
Speaker 1: so like that's what it was.
Speaker 4: So she was like, no, I don't really want to
Speaker 4: have like one hundred kids together.
Speaker 1: They had so many, ten kids and five miscarriages. Nancy, Jimmy, Michael, Julie,
Speaker 1: tom Or, Peggy, Chucky, Bobbys, Patty, Sally, Mom and Dad.
Speaker 4: Wow, I did it, Peggy, Yeah, your grandpa. It sounds
Speaker 4: like they all died like many years apart. It sounds
Speaker 4: like they never even loved each other, because we all
Speaker 4: know that if they love each other, they die within minutes.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, that's exact same sign. Okay, we're gonna go
Speaker 1: to break and come back with more after that. All right,
Speaker 1: we're back in the final stages of the show. I
Speaker 1: don't know, Yeah, it did quick. I gotta go do
Speaker 1: three more podcasts today. I'm doing a comedy Bang bang.
Speaker 3: This is wild.
Speaker 2: You're doing a tour of the world here. I can't imagine.
Speaker 2: This week is so packed. You you usually when you
Speaker 2: come to l A, you pack it with podcasts. You
Speaker 2: try to make it was already packed. Already it was packed,
Speaker 2: and now you're adding all this other It's like every
Speaker 2: five minutes, it's a new podcast you have to go to.
Speaker 1: Yes, I got booked on Seth Myers, which was last week.
Speaker 1: I'm doing that next week. And then the John Mlaney
Speaker 1: thing just came through. But that's John mulaney show is
Speaker 1: going to be. There's no preparation for it. I don't
Speaker 1: have to have a bit prepared. You just go out
Speaker 1: and you just laugh. Sure, and that's that's the joy.
Speaker 4: I mean, you're gonna be so good on it too,
Speaker 4: because I love the show.
Speaker 1: So it's nice to be a fan of a show
Speaker 1: you're going into. I want to watch Last Nights. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I saw Nate Pargazzi the other night and he was like,
Speaker 1: I just got done with them on anything. He's like,
Speaker 1: you know, you just go out there. You just don't
Speaker 1: even know what's gonna happen. There's really nothing you can do.
Speaker 1: And it was just like it was like, Okay, that's
Speaker 1: just what I need to hear. Is like I was
Speaker 1: when he was saying that, I was like, oh, now
Speaker 1: I want to do it because it's.
Speaker 4: Just those situations.
Speaker 1: Yes, I love no prep. Yes, I like no reviewing
Speaker 1: what we're gonna go over, not having to hit our marks.
Speaker 1: Oh and then it's done. I love that he said
Speaker 1: on his first show, like the show is never gonna
Speaker 1: find its groove.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's so funny.
Speaker 1: Because that's it's such an insider term too.
Speaker 4: That happens with all these TV shows like you're like,
Speaker 4: you know, Jimmy, TV.
Speaker 1: Shows like like Nicky and Sarah Right, yeah, not safe.
Speaker 1: They never felt they weren't allowed to last long enough
Speaker 1: to find what they are.
Speaker 4: Like even you watch early Conan's and it took them
Speaker 4: a little while to find their groove. And when they.
Speaker 1: Couldn't believe it lasted, Oh my god. That I really
Speaker 1: recommend watching or listening to. Obviously, I recommended Hot Ones Conan,
Speaker 1: which was amazing, one of the best pieces of comedy ever.
Speaker 1: And then they had that he has on Doctor Arroyo,
Speaker 1: his doctor from Hot Ones on for a segment on
Speaker 1: his podcast, and it's on YouTube. Just type in doctor Arroyo.
Speaker 1: It is so it's so funny. It's just like the
Speaker 1: comments underneath, which you know, comments helped me determine how
Speaker 1: I feel about it, are like this is a twenty
Speaker 1: minute masterclass in improv.
Speaker 3: It's just it's really really hot Ones.
Speaker 1: It was so subtle, just like the subtle.
Speaker 2: I was tricked. At the beginning. I was like, this
Speaker 2: is this is it's a real doctor because he was
Speaker 2: so not purposely funny seeming that I was like, maybe
Speaker 2: this is a real guy who just doesn't know what
Speaker 2: to say. Yeah, And obviously by the end of it.
Speaker 1: On the interview, he goes, you know, we just have
Speaker 1: to talk about some of your practices that you established
Speaker 1: during the hot Ones episode. People have questions, you know,
Speaker 1: when you took my pulse, you seem to be choking
Speaker 1: my neck, and he goes, I thought you wanted me
Speaker 1: to actually take your pulse away.
Speaker 4: Nikki was like, you know what you like, we were
Speaker 4: like going sleep and I was like, oh, Nicky's probably
Speaker 4: asleep by now, and then she just kept laughing and
Speaker 4: for like fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: I never do that, Like, I'm never like cracking up
Speaker 1: the things I'm listening to as I'm going to bed,
Speaker 1: but I couldn't. I was like gasping. There's one where
Speaker 1: he goes, and then when you were checking you had
Speaker 1: me stick on my tongue at one point and checked
Speaker 1: my like tongue with the with the heart monitor, and
Speaker 1: he said, yeah, well that's how we did it. I
Speaker 1: needed to hear if there was any screaming going on,
Speaker 1: like you're talking about that. He goes and it was dead.
Speaker 1: Your tongue was dead, so it was good. And he goes, well,
Speaker 1: usually one would put that device on my chest to
Speaker 1: hear my heartbeat, and he just goes, ough.
Speaker 3: That just at the idea of a heart Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's just these subtle things that you're like, where
Speaker 1: are you even going up?
Speaker 3: And that was so funny.
Speaker 1: It's really there's so many more moments that are just
Speaker 1: so great to listen to. But what do you guys got.
Speaker 2: You're so sick of talking to yourself?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: I am a little bit, but it is it is Uh,
Speaker 1: it's a good it's it is a good week to
Speaker 1: be me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Glazier, No, I thought you're gonna go third person.
Speaker 3: You might get there the end of this week. You're
Speaker 3: gonna be like Nikki feeling all right. Nik I thought.
Speaker 1: Nikki's gotta finish up the show. Yeah, no, I don't
Speaker 1: think I'll get to that. I uh, it does feel
Speaker 1: good though, to you know. Kim Kardashian DMed me yesterday
Speaker 1: what it feels like.
Speaker 3: The lottery for like every morning you're like, what is gonna?
Speaker 2: I know?
Speaker 1: What did Kim say? Kim was so nice and wrote,
Speaker 1: I mean I could read our conversation verbatim.
Speaker 4: I think I will, But aren't you not supposed to
Speaker 4: do that?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: But I just feel like, yeah, I won't. I won't.
Speaker 1: I did it last night on stage, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: like a taping. But because she didn't say anything that
Speaker 1: would be ever weird, like.
Speaker 4: You just said how amazing you weren't have funny.
Speaker 1: Like if she would get offended by Like I was
Speaker 1: thinking about this, I was like, maybe I shouldn't have
Speaker 1: done that, and I go, well, if if she would
Speaker 1: get offended by me reading that, like she's got to
Speaker 1: know that if she said something to me, I would
Speaker 1: not do that with something that was not good. You
Speaker 1: know like she I hope she trusts me that I'm
Speaker 1: not just reading this because she sent me something. It's
Speaker 1: like I discerned that it was something that is readable,
Speaker 1: But I do I knew that. I know that there
Speaker 1: is a part of her that's probably like this pitche'll
Speaker 1: just read anything I send her, which I would not do, Kim,
Speaker 1: if you ever hear this.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I remember she wrote like Kanye had p
Speaker 3: Diddy Yes, right, and now when she wrote something like
Speaker 3: that something like that, I can't remember exactly.
Speaker 1: She just said great job, which she had. I mean,
Speaker 1: she had to like write a Nikki like she had
Speaker 1: to type it in like I'm thinking about like her
Speaker 1: like beautiful nails, clicking on it like typing Nikki, Oh
Speaker 1: is it two k's or one? Like yeah, and then
Speaker 1: she had to go to it and then she had
Speaker 1: to go to like mess like it's like a lot
Speaker 1: of things that I was just like, oh. And then
Speaker 1: she just wrote me a really nice message saying congrats.
Speaker 1: And then I was like no you Yeah, I said,
Speaker 1: I was trying to make eye contact with you the
Speaker 1: whole damn show because I wanted to tell you you
Speaker 1: fucking killed and you like you were just so impressive,
Speaker 1: and I said, which was no surprise because of how
Speaker 1: elite your SNL monologue was, but you really killed it.
Speaker 1: And and she was like, I don't know how you
Speaker 1: do that. It's like it's it's low key abuse or
Speaker 1: something like. She was like, it's abuse, and I go,
Speaker 1: you do know how I did it, because you did it.
Speaker 1: I go, you did it too, and you did it
Speaker 1: so well. And then she was like she hearted that,
Speaker 1: and I just wrote like she said something else, and
Speaker 1: I said, we are brave exclamation mark, and she hearted it.
Speaker 1: So that was the end of it, right, But like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but ironically, the ironic thing is is that so many
Speaker 1: times people call that family not talented, like why are
Speaker 1: they famous? And I didn't even think about that kind
Speaker 1: of notion about them, even though I literally read jokes
Speaker 1: about Kim that were pitched to me this week to
Speaker 1: maybe do that we're like addressing that they don't have talent,
Speaker 1: And I literally wrote in that like you are so talented,
Speaker 1: because that was talented to be able to. First of all,
Speaker 1: whatever happened at the beginning, which by the way, the
Speaker 1: boo I met someone who knows who started it, and
Speaker 1: they were starting it as a joke. Wow, and it
Speaker 1: caught five or like it just like it was a
Speaker 1: gasoline over the crowd and a little bit of boot
Speaker 1: and because they were just ready to boot, like it
Speaker 1: could have been anyone that wasn't that is like associated
Speaker 1: with that kind of part of our pop culture.
Speaker 2: Sure well, they were booing like football teams and stuff
Speaker 2: too that were anti Patriots.
Speaker 1: I thought it might be a swift rio.
Speaker 2: I booed Tom because he said fuck the cults. I
Speaker 2: booed him. I was the only one booish, sure.
Speaker 1: Like that was the kind of night it was. It
Speaker 1: was boo heavy, but like she got fucked on that
Speaker 1: boo And it was some comedian, some asshole comedian that
Speaker 1: did it as a joke and didn't expect her to
Speaker 1: catch on and it wasn't because I thought it was
Speaker 1: a swifty thing. Like I was like disappointed on behalf
Speaker 1: of Swifties for like, if that's what this is about.
Speaker 1: But I think it was just got out of hand.
Speaker 1: It was just people being jealous obviously of her fame
Speaker 1: and her power and all the like. That was what
Speaker 1: it was. But for her to like not address it
Speaker 1: but kind of like look like a little disappointed like that.
Speaker 1: She just handled it so well, and then she sat
Speaker 1: there the rest of the fucking show. She went up
Speaker 1: like almost right after me. I think there was one
Speaker 1: after me, and then she went up. That's a long
Speaker 1: She sat there for two hours whenever. A lot of
Speaker 1: people that made appearances in the crowd left after their appearances.
Speaker 1: They didn't want to say the whole show because they
Speaker 1: had other shit to do. Kim Kardashian definitely has other
Speaker 1: shit to do. She had to go to the Metcala
Speaker 1: the next day. She probably flew the Red Eye, but
Speaker 1: she sat there and waited for Tom Brady's set, and
Speaker 1: I thought that was really cool of her.
Speaker 2: You can think what you want about Kim, but in
Speaker 2: order to get that famous, you need to have talent.
Speaker 2: You can't get that famous. There's a lot of hot,
Speaker 2: rich girls who are not as famous as Kim Kardashian,
Speaker 2: and it's because they don't have the talent that she does.
Speaker 2: It's just impossible to do.
Speaker 1: And just because the talent doesn't look like singing or
Speaker 1: dancing or acting or whatever you think it does like
Speaker 1: it is about sustaining a public image, captivating It takes
Speaker 1: hard work to look.
Speaker 2: At interesting is a talent being, Yes, doing things like
Speaker 2: just not making mistakes at public appearances and you know,
Speaker 2: planning and your whole public image. Her whole job is
Speaker 2: to cultivate a public image. Yes, and that's a talent
Speaker 2: and that.
Speaker 1: Comes from her. Yes, she might hire people to help
Speaker 1: her with her image, but she's hiring those people. She
Speaker 1: she's the taste maker at the top. So I will
Speaker 1: never I'll always be in her like no, I mean
Speaker 1: that the body is insane, and that asked that, But
Speaker 1: what's your public image?
Speaker 3: Mine? Guy to eats chicken salad with his hands, and.
Speaker 1: With that we have to go.
Speaker 2: Cultivated.
Speaker 3: Much that happened before, I would hope.
Speaker 1: So my story, ever was when one day I got
Speaker 1: us tie food. We were our hotel room. We only
Speaker 1: had one hotel room. The other one wasn't clean yet,
Speaker 1: so we were just hanging in the hotel room before
Speaker 1: night of shows. The ty food arrives. There's no utensils.
Speaker 1: I go down to go get some and I come
Speaker 1: back up and he is using the ice tongs, which.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, yeah, but it was just.
Speaker 1: But I always uses the coffee. I use them a
Speaker 1: shop six and that really does work. But that was
Speaker 1: the next level and I loved it. But yeah, hands,
Speaker 1: I've seen a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah tongs is a strong move because they're on there.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I guess they use them with ice.
Speaker 3: The huh tom Brady, Tom Brady.
Speaker 1: That's what we're calling.
Speaker 3: You gotta go.
Speaker 1: Don't be killing you guys. Check me out. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be in Vegas this weekend with David's made tons of
Speaker 1: tour Nadesnicky Glazer dot com. There's the song. There's a
Speaker 1: special spread the word. I love you guys so much,
Speaker 1: love you, busties. I'll never get big enough for you.
Speaker 1: I promise a lot of besties have been like, please,
Speaker 1: don't change, never forget us. I would never. I love you.
Speaker 1: Don't be killed, and.
Speaker 2: I would never texting Kim K right now, Yeah, Kik.
Speaker 3: You're my only best I love you guys.
Speaker 1: Okay see