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Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: How you holding up?

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Speaker 1: I am in Whistler. I returned to Whistler after everything

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Speaker 1: was canceled in Los Angeles, so I am here watching

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Speaker 1: from afar all the devastation, and how are you guys doing.

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Speaker 3: We're holding up.

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Speaker 2: It's nice to talk to you now that both of

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Speaker 2: our houses are hopefully not in immediate danger. And the

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Speaker 2: last time when we talked, we saw a plume of

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Speaker 2: smoke coming over our house and we had.

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Speaker 1: To cut out early.

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Speaker 2: So it's been a really scary couple or not even

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Speaker 2: a couple of weeks a week, and we're just hanging

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Speaker 2: in there for all our friends who've lost their homes

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Speaker 2: or businesses. And I know, I'm sure you have some

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Speaker 2: friends who've lost homes. We've got friends who've lost homes.

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Speaker 1: So, and a special shout out to all of our

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Speaker 1: frontline workers and first responders and firefighters. The jobs that

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Speaker 1: they are doing are unfathomable and it's so scary, and

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Speaker 1: I have high hopes for us building back at Los

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Speaker 1: Angeles that is safe, for more fire resilient, and a

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Speaker 1: more community centered place. I think this is a way

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Speaker 1: for all Angelina's to really come together and set the

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Speaker 1: tone for what it looks like to rebuild a city

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Speaker 1: that has been decimated, that has been pulverized.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Brand and I basically we had to

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Speaker 2: go get out of here once we knew we weren't

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Speaker 2: in immediate danger from the fires near our house. Saturday

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Speaker 2: and Sunday, we just went and volunteered to like get

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Speaker 2: the nervous energy out of our bodies. And it was amazing,

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Speaker 2: Like there were so many people. There were times when

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Speaker 2: the organizations we worked with had to like pause donations

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Speaker 2: or pause volunteers because they just like had too many

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Speaker 2: and it was you know, and then they restart again

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Speaker 2: and it was it was has just been really inspiring

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Speaker 2: to see everybody showing up for.

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Speaker 1: The city, yeah, and for each other absolutely.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And Chelsea, I know you wanted.

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Speaker 2: To share some resources, so we've compiled a list of those,

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Speaker 2: and of course we'll have links to those in the

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Speaker 2: show notes. If you are somebody affected by the fires

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Speaker 2: and you need help, or if you live in the

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Speaker 2: Los Angeles area and you want to provide help, Mutual

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Speaker 2: Aid put together a spreadsheet that you can sort by area,

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Speaker 2: by need type, so they'll actually be in their updating

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Speaker 2: whether they need volunteers today or what kinds of donations

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Speaker 2: they need, whether that's clothing or tampons or diapers or

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Speaker 2: any of those things. So check that out if you

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Speaker 2: need help, or you're ready to give help, if you're

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Speaker 2: not in the Los Angeles area, or you're not able

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Speaker 2: to get out and help but you'd like to donate.

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Speaker 2: We have several links in the show notes, and the

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Speaker 2: first one is a personal friend of ours. His name

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Speaker 2: is Patrick. He and Brad were in Save Varis together

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Speaker 2: for several years, toured all over together, and.

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Speaker 1: He's abody who He's been through a.

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Speaker 2: Lot and really overcame a lot of adversity in his

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Speaker 2: younger years and went on to be an awesome single

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Speaker 2: dad and has a wonderful partner now. He bought one

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Speaker 2: of those typical tiny Altadna homes that his mom, who

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Speaker 2: had lived in her house for decades, moved to be

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Speaker 2: closer to them two blocks away, and both of them

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Speaker 2: lost everything but the shirts on their back. So he

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Speaker 2: would be a wonderful person to donate. My other friend Miles,

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Speaker 2: who I work with, who is on Daily Zeitgeist if

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Speaker 2: any of you know that show, he also lost his home.

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Speaker 2: He and his wife and child got out ahead of

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Speaker 2: the fires, but they lost their home and everything in it.

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Speaker 2: Alta Dina is also historically black neighborhood, and so someone's

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Speaker 2: put together a spreadsheet of all of the gofundmes for

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Speaker 2: Black families who lost their homes in the fires, So

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Speaker 2: we'll have a link to that as well, And if

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Speaker 2: you'd like to donate for displaced pets, Pasadena Humane is

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Speaker 2: doing wonderful work and they're right near Altadena. They're dealing

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Speaker 2: with a huge influx of pets and donations, so they

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Speaker 2: could really use the help. And then also the SPCA

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Speaker 2: in Los Angeles is doing great work. We volunteered with

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Speaker 2: them this weekend as well, and they a great place

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Speaker 2: to donate as well if pets are your thing. So

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Speaker 2: I know in times like this it can feel like

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Speaker 2: you're totally helpless and there's nothing you can do and

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Speaker 2: you're just watching something awful happen somewhere else. And donating

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Speaker 2: to one of these funds or to another you know

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Speaker 2: a friend of a friend who shares a GoFundMe, those

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Speaker 2: are ways that you can get involved and actually make

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Speaker 2: real change in real time for people who need resources

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Speaker 2: right now as they're like figuring out insurance and figuring

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Speaker 2: out what to do next, and figuring out where they're

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Speaker 2: going to live. Even five bucks helps, of course more

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Speaker 2: is great, but any small amount that you can help

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Speaker 2: these families out with, I know will be really really

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Speaker 2: well used.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. And our guest this week is Brook Shields, as

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Speaker 1: she is here talking about aging. She has a new

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Speaker 1: book called brook Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old.

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Speaker 1: And we've had her on the pod before and she's

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Speaker 1: back again. And I can't believe I used just use

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Speaker 1: pod as a nickname for podcast. That's where my head is.

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Speaker 3: Is that?

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Speaker 1: Please Welcome brook Shields, Brook Welcome, Welcome back to the podcast. Brookshields.

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Speaker 3: I love you, We love you here.

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Speaker 1: I loved I found your book to be so comforting.

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Speaker 1: Oh good. I mean, I know you've written other books,

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Speaker 1: but this book is about aging, your thoughts on aging,

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Speaker 1: how your experience in aging. It's actually called Brooks Shields

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Speaker 1: is Not Allowed to Get Old, which I would imagine

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Speaker 1: to be a very real feeling for you. And as

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Speaker 1: you discussed in the books, there's so much stuff in

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Speaker 1: here about what it's like to feel like public property

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Speaker 1: and to feel like your physicality, your age, your body

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Speaker 1: was kind of owned by the public because of how

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Speaker 1: young you started working, and I don't think that's, you know,

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Speaker 1: obviously a very common experience. I remember seeing you on

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Speaker 1: Drew Barrymore and watching the two of you kind of

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Speaker 1: connect on all of the dysfunction that you experience, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh God, I hope there's more women

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Speaker 1: out there that they can connect with about it because

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Speaker 1: it's such an unusual experience.

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Speaker 3: It is, and we had a very different reaction to

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Speaker 3: the experience, but I always felt very protective of her.

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Speaker 3: I've always felt like that, and I'm older, so that

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Speaker 3: helped it. I think it's more universal than we think

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Speaker 3: it is insofar as the ability for the world. Now

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Speaker 3: it's everywhere on Instagram or tiktoct or comments or whatever

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Speaker 3: it is. Everybody has so much to say about everybody else,

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Speaker 3: and we didn't ask for it, And you don't just

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Speaker 3: have to be in the public eye, right, You're just

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Speaker 3: a normal person who gets an Instagram account, you know.

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Speaker 3: And so I think that part's more universal is that

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Speaker 3: we're constantly commented on our beauty. There's opinions, and that

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Speaker 3: they're voiced, and there's this the funniest thing happened to me.

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Speaker 3: I was doing an Instagram live the other day for

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Speaker 3: the book, and all of a sudden, it pops out

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Speaker 3: in bold letters, because of course it had to be

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Speaker 3: all caps, just in case I didn't hear the man message,

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Speaker 3: and it was, oh, I really wish you looked the

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Speaker 3: way that you used to look when you were younger,

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Speaker 3: and I just left. I had to share it with

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Speaker 3: everybody live, and I said, hey, I said, I couldn't

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Speaker 3: tell this a guy or not, but I'm sure probably

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Speaker 3: was a guy. And I said, read the title. Read

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Speaker 3: the title, dude, and go that's the point.

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Speaker 1: Like, it's amazing to me because there's a story in

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Speaker 1: the book too, where that you reveal your age to

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Speaker 1: some guy and his wine cellar at his house and

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Speaker 1: he's like, I really wish you hadn't told me that.

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Speaker 1: He says he was born in seventy two, you would

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Speaker 1: admit that you were born in sixty five, and he's

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Speaker 1: like almost disgusted that you would reveal that to him,

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Speaker 1: and that had to deal with his own age identity,

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Speaker 1: like it was bothersome to remind him of how old

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Speaker 1: he was. Yes, I mean, it's unreal that men feel

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Speaker 1: like they can say this to us, or say this

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Speaker 1: to you or any woman. I mean, it's just unreal,

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Speaker 1: so ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: Well, it's also even complimenting someone like, oh you look great.

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Speaker 3: Well did you think I didn't look great before? Do

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Speaker 3: you think I've had work done? Do you think that

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Speaker 3: I've had that? I'm like, why is it so quick? No?

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Speaker 3: I know women, I always want to celebrate my friends,

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Speaker 3: so I'm always going to be positive about that. You know.

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Speaker 3: It's Britney Spears being asked about our virginity. It's me

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Speaker 3: being asked to stand up so that Barbara Walters can

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Speaker 3: compare her measurements to me to a fifteen year old. Like,

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Speaker 3: it's just it's so absurd, but it has been so

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Speaker 3: allowed and perpetuated for so long, so I think that that's.

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Speaker 1: It, you know, but it's still happening. Oh yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: like that with Barbara Walters. That happens to you, what

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Speaker 1: fifty years ago, forty years ago? Like, it doesn't end,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't. It's kind of like where are we supposed

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Speaker 1: to be learning? In the beginning of the book, you

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Speaker 1: talk about you tell a story where you're being interviewed

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Speaker 1: by a reporter and they keep asking you the same question,

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Speaker 1: hoping that you're going to give a different answer, and

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Speaker 1: at some point you say that, you say like, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm goingving you the answer you want,

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Speaker 1: and I know exactly what you're talking about.

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Speaker 3: You start learning to play certain games, you know, and

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Speaker 3: you just to get through these things because you know

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Speaker 3: that they don't really care. Or I had to start

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Speaker 3: learning how to speak in sentences that couldn't be chopped

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Speaker 3: up to have a completely different meaning when they're put

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Speaker 3: in print.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And one of the things that's really really admirable

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Speaker 1: and very obvious to any outsider is that you have

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Speaker 1: over the years really realized as you've aged how to

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Speaker 1: stand in your power. One example being you know that

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Speaker 1: Tom Cruise incident that you speak about in the book

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Speaker 1: where he was talking about medication and with that with

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Speaker 1: Matt Lower, I believe and was being very he was

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Speaker 1: calling Matt Lower glib because he was talking about you

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Speaker 1: and your postpartum and that you didn't really need to

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Speaker 1: take any medication. I think that was basically the gist

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Speaker 1: of it.

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Speaker 3: Knowing nothing about your situation, knowing not not having ovaries.

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Speaker 4: By the way, a woman not being a woman, and

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Speaker 4: then so that and then you struck stood up for

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Speaker 4: yourself very publicly with an op ed in the New

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Speaker 4: York Times, Right yeah, and he came over and finally

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Speaker 4: apologized to you.

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Speaker 1: But taking that on like that in it itself, you know,

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Speaker 1: a lot of people would be scared to take on

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Speaker 1: a celebrity of that magnitude, but he was so I

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Speaker 1: totally would never miss a beat to do exactly what

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Speaker 1: you did, because he was so misguided and so misinformed

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Speaker 1: and has absolutely no business speaking on that subject matter whatsoever.

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Speaker 1: So how did that feel like, having that apology come

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Speaker 1: from him? How did it feel to stand up for

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Speaker 1: yourself in that way?

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Speaker 3: You know, it felt very justified, And I think you

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Speaker 3: don't need the justification to stand up for yourself if

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Speaker 3: that wasn't the way I was raised. And so this

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Speaker 3: felt very clear because I was also not just fighting

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Speaker 3: for myself. I was fighting for women and the terror

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Speaker 3: that postparted can hoist on you and the danger of it,

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Speaker 3: and there was so much at stake for women, So

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Speaker 3: to have someone so considered powerful take all of this

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Speaker 3: that had been put forth to them women for the

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Speaker 3: first time really and just undermine it on such a level,

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Speaker 3: I couldn't stand by and do nothing. And I fired

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Speaker 3: my pubblesist over it because she said, do just that.

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Speaker 3: Don't honor it with a with an answer, And I said,

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Speaker 3: don't honor it with an answer. I'm honoring myself and

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Speaker 3: other women who stand to be scared and hurt or

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Speaker 3: just need and deserve the information. And so I did

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Speaker 3: have a bigger not a bad responsibility, but there's like

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Speaker 3: bigger reason to do it because it's it wasn't selfish

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Speaker 3: as much as it was because I've known them forever.

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Speaker 3: A lot of the antics that I see people have,

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Speaker 3: you know, they're not in my life daily. So it's

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Speaker 3: like their antics are just like.

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Speaker 1: I like antics.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to describe it, it's good, It's like, but if

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Speaker 3: this wasn't that anymore, This wasn't personal in a weird way,

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Speaker 3: he made it personal, and that was his mistake because

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Speaker 3: you know, not only was I like America's sweetheart by

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Speaker 3: that had been or whatever, and that's the joke we

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Speaker 3: use all the time in my house, but this was

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Speaker 3: women were They were outraged. And I even said to him,

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Speaker 3: I said, you know, you kind of barked up the

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Speaker 3: wrong tree because of my ability to respond and because

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Speaker 3: of what I have behind me that has been growing

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Speaker 3: for forty plus years. And I said, and it's something

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Speaker 3: you you're still not qualified to talk about, and you're

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Speaker 3: qualified to talk about what you want to talk about

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Speaker 3: for yourself in your body, but this is your way

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Speaker 3: out of your lane. And I said, so, Unfortunately it

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Speaker 3: kind of backfired on you, and it did. I mean,

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Speaker 3: we you had people coming out and people were still

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Speaker 3: talking about it and it's over twenty years later, you know.

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Speaker 3: So I think it was a misstep. I think it

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Speaker 3: was a mistake that he dust up to making, and

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Speaker 3: I think he felt like it was a mistake and

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Speaker 3: he did apologize for it, and it was personal, right

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Speaker 3: And did I need him to do it publicly? Not

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Speaker 3: not really, because it was a different level of what

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Speaker 3: he needed to do in that opinion.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to flag something in your book too,

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Speaker 1: because you talk about having a grandma seizure, which is

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Speaker 1: pretty serious because you were training pretty hard or rehearsing

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Speaker 1: pretty hard for a Broadway show, right, and you were.

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Speaker 1: We talk about water a lot, and I how much

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Speaker 1: I loath water on this podcast, I cannot drink it.

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Speaker 1: I find it to be so boring. I constantly have

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Speaker 1: to put electrolytes in it just to flavor it. And

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Speaker 1: you have once again proved my point that drinking tons

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Speaker 1: and tons and tons of water does nothing to help you,

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Speaker 1: especially if there is a heat wave happening.

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Speaker 5: You are depleting your system. The water itself is not

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Speaker 5: good enough.

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Speaker 1: You need the electrolytes and the sodium to hold onto

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Speaker 1: the water.

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Speaker 3: Some in my bag, Yes, I.

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Speaker 1: Have Exca extract ones Element of course they're the best.

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Speaker 1: So you passed out at a restaurant. You were going

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Speaker 1: a million miles an hour, it was the middle of

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Speaker 1: a heat wave. You're rehearsing for a Broadway play.

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Speaker 3: And I go into this restaurant to thank one of

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Speaker 3: the women that worked there for coming in to see

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Speaker 3: it run through. And as I walk in, two women

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Speaker 3: come up to me, and I don't know what they

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Speaker 3: were talking about. I think maybe they were talking about

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Speaker 3: the documentary. I don't know. On the video, you see me,

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Speaker 3: you know, engage with them, and then you see me

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Speaker 3: sort of like go like this, and then you see

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Speaker 3: me do this a lot, and then I just I

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Speaker 3: just go down and I hit my face on a

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Speaker 3: serving station and one of the women that came up

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Speaker 3: to me was a registered nurse. What are the chances

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Speaker 3: it was really bad? And then I woke up in

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Speaker 3: the ambulance with Bradley Cooper. With Bradley Cooper, as one does.

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Speaker 1: Hey, whenever anyone has a grandma seizure in New York City,

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Speaker 1: Bradley Cooper appears. Just everyone should just appear.

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Speaker 3: And the first thing that goes through your mind is,

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Speaker 3: I must have not made it.

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Speaker 1: But you're good friends with him, or you're friendly with him.

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Speaker 1: He lives in your neighborhood, so he was there because

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Speaker 1: your assistant had reached out to his assistant. A lot

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Speaker 1: of da da da da. That was that the first

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Speaker 1: that was Is that the first and last grandma seizure

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Speaker 1: you've had? Brooke?

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Speaker 3: Yes, oh, thank god, Yes that is the first one

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Speaker 3: I've I have fainted before at times, and I have

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Speaker 3: low blood pressure, which is why I need the electro

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Speaker 3: like and I need the salt, so I need stopped

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Speaker 3: in my diet because of that, because I have low

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Speaker 3: blood pressure. And so the times that I've thinked it

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Speaker 3: have all been because somehow the sodium is low.

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Speaker 1: So no, to all our listeners, water isn't just going

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Speaker 1: to do it on its own. So drinking copious amounts

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Speaker 1: of water with nothing in it, it's useless. You might

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Speaker 1: as well have to die coke.

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Speaker 3: But also in the hospital, do you remember that up

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Speaker 3: in the hospital, yes, that the doctor said, yeah, you

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Speaker 3: go ahead, do you tell it. They were the two doctors. Okay,

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Speaker 3: they were men. This is not a male hating thing,

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Speaker 3: but they both once said, are you restricting salt, ma'am

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Speaker 3: because of dietary reasons? I was like, first of all,

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Speaker 3: don't call me ma'am.

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Speaker 1: And don't talk to me in that tone.

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Speaker 3: Yes, And I said in second of all, I said,

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Speaker 3: I'm a fifty eight year old woman, I look younger, bloated. No,

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Speaker 3: I do not restrict salt. And I find that very

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Speaker 3: rude for you to ask me that that question. And

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Speaker 3: my husband like put his arm on my arm, and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, don't tell me to change my tone. I

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Speaker 3: didn't like that tone. He doesn't have to like my tone.

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Speaker 3: And then I got asked it again by another one

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Speaker 3: of the nurses that came in, the male nurses that

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Speaker 3: are you sure now you weren't definitely, And I was like, wow,

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Speaker 3: would you ask a man that question.

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Speaker 1: I don't think so, I just don't know, of course not.

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Speaker 1: And the way men talked to women and in all

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Speaker 1: medical ways, like I mean, yes, there are great doctors

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Speaker 1: out there who obviously asked the right questions. But you

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Speaker 1: speak a lot in this book about advocating medically for

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Speaker 1: yourself in many different circumstances where you've been stuck in

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Speaker 1: the hospital, you broke your femur, you were in the

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Speaker 1: hospital for over a month. I think you, I mean you,

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Speaker 1: and it was during COVID, so there were I mean,

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Speaker 1: or you were also in the hospital during COVID. So

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Speaker 1: you've been through You've been through it a lot, and

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Speaker 1: you understand the kind of way that that women are

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Speaker 1: spoken to. I mean, you got an accidental vaginal rejuvenation

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Speaker 1: in the hospital that you didn't act.

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Speaker 3: It was an accidental. It was an accidental. It was

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Speaker 3: a little a little uh, I got it. Two fur

349
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Speaker 3: got a gift. He thought he was doing some big favor.

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Speaker 1: I was just shocked, absolutely by tightening your vagina. So

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Speaker 1: she goes in, wait, so tell that story. That's absolutely absurd.

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Speaker 3: It's insane. And also, let me just say one thing

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Speaker 3: before I get to my vagina yet, again, which always

354
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:19,320
Speaker 3: is a very topic of conversation, you know. I also

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Speaker 3: it's not lost on me that I'm blessed enough to

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Speaker 3: be able to have good healthcare and attention. I was

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Speaker 3: taken care of well, I wasn't being you know, shoved

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Speaker 3: in a hallway something. So it's like I sort of say, like,

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Speaker 3: it's very hard to self advocate, but they're a little

360
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Speaker 3: bit afraid of me because I'm famous or something and

361
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Speaker 3: so like. But that's a that's like a luxury. I

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00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:46,439
Speaker 3: mean without that, it's even a hundred times worse for

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Speaker 3: women and women of color to have the even the

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Speaker 3: space and have anybody's ear to be able to self

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Speaker 3: advocate and ask the questions. And how do we know

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Speaker 3: what the right questions are? Anyway? I was, I was

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Speaker 3: asked by my gun cologist after maybes, actually is I

368
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,720
Speaker 3: was a bit wrong and the timing. But if there

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Speaker 3: was any discomfort ever because of labia, and I've been

370
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Speaker 3: experiencing it my entire life, like cheerleading and tight jeans,

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Speaker 3: give me jeans and then spinning and you know, sex

372
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Speaker 3: and like all this stuff, right, and I just thought

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Speaker 3: you just had to deal with stuff. Some people had

374
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Speaker 3: one boob different some people, you know, and I didn't

375
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Speaker 3: know anything about it. And when I was asked if

376
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Speaker 3: I had had that kind of discomfort, it was such

377
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,520
Speaker 3: a revelation. She said, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

378
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,920
Speaker 3: She said, I see it all the time, and it's

379
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Speaker 3: very common and it's very fixable. It unfortunately falls under

380
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 3: cosmetic surgery, so insurance probably isn't going to cover it.

381
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 3: And so she said, why don't you get a consult

382
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Speaker 3: and see if it makes sense to you? And after

383
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,800
Speaker 3: having some thing bothered me for so many decades, you

384
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,719
Speaker 3: can't even believe there there might be an option. And

385
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 3: so he drew this whole sort of diagram about how

386
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 3: kind of easy it was to do and now he

387
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,199
Speaker 3: does it all the time, and you know, and I

388
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 3: was talking about just the discomfort. I signed up for it,

389
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Speaker 3: got it done, came back you know, a week later,

390
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 3: our postop or whatever, and you know, he said, oh,

391
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,879
Speaker 3: it's still more difficult, and it took me longer. And

392
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Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I don't need all the details, thank you. Like,

393
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,200
Speaker 3: if it's good, it's good.

394
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Speaker 1: You're like, we could watch the video when we haven't yet.

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Speaker 1: We have a night, have nothing to do, because I'm

396
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Speaker 1: sure you have that.

397
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Speaker 3: And so I just like, is it all good? My healing?

398
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 3: Is everything fine? How long will it take? All the questions?

399
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 3: And then he said, and uh, well, I uh I

400
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 3: threw in a little rejuvenation for you. And I said,

401
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, what what what do you mean. That's a

402
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 3: different word than reduction. That's a different word than reduction.

403
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,560
Speaker 3: He goes, well, yeah, I know, I just tighten you

404
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 3: up a bit. And I said, you did what? He goes, yeah.

405
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,920
Speaker 3: I was like, what my planning on being a porn star?

406
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't, don't, I don't understand. I didn't.

407
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 1: I was like, plus, you had c sections, right, two

408
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 1: c section didn't even get breath vaginally.

409
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,640
Speaker 3: No, my babies were IVF. I could argue, I'm still

410
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Speaker 3: a virgin.

411
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Speaker 1: Oh god, it's so house matters, so gross. Oh, just

412
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Speaker 1: one of the things. I know we have to move

413
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,680
Speaker 1: on to Callers Catherine, but I do want to touch

414
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Speaker 1: on one thing that I found very moving, Brooke. I

415
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 1: thought this was really like, not only brave, but it

416
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 1: was just a sign of what age brings us and

417
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,160
Speaker 1: the wisdom it brings us and the confidence that we

418
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Speaker 1: gain in allowing ourselves to be honest with ourselves. And

419
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Speaker 1: one of the things that you write about in the

420
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Speaker 1: towards the end of the book is the kind of

421
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 1: what ifs in your life, like what if my career

422
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 1: had gone in a different direction? What if I had

423
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 1: gotten this movie Dangerous Liaisons that I was up for

424
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 1: That was given to Uma the Thurman, who got part

425
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: what if you had been on a different trajectory? And

426
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:05,880
Speaker 1: you kind of talk about the way that you think

427
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 1: of things, and not in an ungrateful way at all,

428
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:13,919
Speaker 1: not in a way of not understanding how fortunate you

429
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 1: are and how iconic you are and what that brings

430
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,440
Speaker 1: to the table, but in a way that is thoughtful

431
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,920
Speaker 1: and kind of looking at the past. And I think

432
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Speaker 1: a lot of women are unable to do that until

433
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Speaker 1: they are a certain age. They are unable to admit

434
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 1: that they would have liked and they or they're wondering

435
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,879
Speaker 1: what could have been if things had gone in a

436
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: different direction. So I found that to be very powerful, because.

437
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 5: People will always be like, oh no, no, no, everything that's

438
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,160
Speaker 5: meant to be is meant to be, and that wasn't

439
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,239
Speaker 5: meant for me. I find myself saying that a lot

440
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 5: of times when things don't go my way, and it's

441
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,880
Speaker 5: more like it's part self convincing and part making sure.

442
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:55,919
Speaker 1: You're not being a cry baby. Right, yeah, right, So

443
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 1: talk to me a little bit about that, express to

444
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 1: our listeners how you came about admitting to even feeling

445
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,639
Speaker 1: that and then wanting to write about it for other women.

446
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 3: You know. There it's something that I've pined for, you know,

447
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 3: and has pained me for so long, and there's this

448
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 3: validation of my talent, right, and it's not about looks

449
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,120
Speaker 3: or beauty or anything like that, because that I never

450
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 3: put too much stock in because it was just a job.

451
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 3: And also education was more important to me, so I

452
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:33,119
Speaker 3: got fortified really quickly by going to college. So that

453
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 3: was my version of rebellion just for myself. But you know,

454
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 3: I've had the same therapist for quite some time, and

455
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,199
Speaker 3: it's a theme that keeps coming back, and it's a

456
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 3: theme that is, you know, what if or I know,

457
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 3: I'm just famous and nobody thinks I'm really that talented

458
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 3: or well, thank god I found comedy because that's what

459
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 3: I do really well. But yeah, I still don't and

460
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 3: I started to I always believed I was less than

461
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 3: because I wasn't what these other actresses who were very

462
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 3: serious were, and you know that I would work with

463
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 3: some of them in a comedic setting and I would

464
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 3: see them struggle with comedy, and then I would think, oh,

465
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 3: that's interesting. You know, we're different players on the same team.

466
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:21,160
Speaker 3: You know. I don't play ball sports anyway, I mean

467
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 3: any sports lately.

468
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 1: No lacrosse.

469
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 3: There can you imagine?

470
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:30,440
Speaker 1: No, I can't imagine lacrosse. I'm still trying to figure

471
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 1: out what lacrosse is. Quite frankly.

472
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,879
Speaker 3: Yes, it's a lot of the cribbing or something like that.

473
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 3: But I just like saying ball sports because it just

474
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 3: feels good coming out of my mouth, and I think

475
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 3: it's funny. But this less than and then this piece

476
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 3: that I used to counteract it with. Yes, but Brooke

477
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:54,199
Speaker 3: not only a good comedian, but you also you know,

478
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 3: you've built this career and people trust you, and you've

479
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 3: got education and you can write. And it was always

480
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:03,639
Speaker 3: a justific And I thought, well, if I'm still doing

481
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:07,640
Speaker 3: this in my fifties, clearly I still have a problem

482
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 3: with it. And I don't know if I'll ever get

483
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 3: over it. I don't know. I don't even know if

484
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 3: that's the kind of work I want to do. But

485
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 3: to have not been chosen whenever I went out and

486
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:24,120
Speaker 3: tried for those parts, and then to be too famous

487
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 3: and too recognizable to even be up for those parts,

488
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 3: it always felt like this, It may have not even

489
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 3: been a missed opportunity, that I may have never even

490
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 3: got that that didn't matter. It was how I demeaned

491
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:43,360
Speaker 3: my talent, you know. And I always focus on while

492
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 3: I'm a survivor and look unhealthy, I'm not a total

493
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 3: train wreck. And that took use of education in parents,

494
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:52,119
Speaker 3: and you know, my therapist would say, you got to

495
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 3: give yourself some credit for your in a character. You

496
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 3: do have a made character that sees things and chooses

497
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 3: the way you choose. She said, you know, you're not

498
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 3: just just a product of your parents or society or

499
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 3: the press or your history. She's like, there is something

500
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 3: that's broken there that is just her, you know. And

501
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 3: that kind of was like, what that is a new concept.

502
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 3: But this, the pining for being seen like the actresses

503
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 3: I admire, was so persistent for so long, and I

504
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 3: could work on all the other stuff right and just

505
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 3: feel good about it. But I just recently had the

506
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 3: opportunity to act in front of Basically, it was hardly

507
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 3: opposite because I had all the dialogue, two very prominent female, brilliant,

508
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 3: award winning lovely women, one in her like six early seventies,

509
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 3: when I'm a little bit older than and you know,

510
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 3: the women I admire and I've known over the years

511
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:06,239
Speaker 3: met immediately, you know everybody, And I got asked to

512
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 3: do this one it's two days, but we just did

513
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,679
Speaker 3: one day so far in front of them, and it

514
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 3: involved only emotion and only tears and only all the

515
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:22,719
Speaker 3: stuff that makes me cringe. And I thought, oh, well,

516
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 3: don't do it. You don't want to do it, you

517
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 3: know want embarrassors have, you can't do it. And then

518
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 3: I thought, well, I can't say no to this opportunity

519
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 3: when for decades I've been asking for the opportunity. Now

520
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 3: all of a sudden I get it, and I'm not

521
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 3: going to say yes because of fear. Won't you're pussy?

522
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 3: Like what are you doing? Like? I was just so

523
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 3: there were so many emotions, and I went there and

524
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 3: I came out of the gate a little too hot

525
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 3: because I was trying, and I was nervous, and I

526
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 3: was sweaty and then I just sat down and said,

527
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 3: you know what, They're not going to fire you. You're

528
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 3: in one day. They obviously think you can do it.

529
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 3: They don't want to look back and have it be

530
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 3: your fault. They don't really care about you. Not the actresses,

531
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 3: but the production. I don't even know what the real

532
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,880
Speaker 3: name of the production is, believe it or not, because

533
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,400
Speaker 3: it's also top secret. And I thought, you don't want

534
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 3: to burn bridges, you know, or just do it? Just

535
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 3: do it. And I went to the director and I said,

536
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 3: I think I'm trying to do too much and I

537
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 3: don't think it's right. I said, I have a theory

538
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 3: about this, and she said, I was coming over to

539
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 3: tell you that right now. She said, you don't have

540
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 3: to try hard. She said it's all there and we're

541
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 3: watching it. She said, just trust and just do it.

542
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 3: And what happened at the end of the day, after

543
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 3: having to do it over and over and over again,

544
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 3: was I got validation. And I'm not ashamed to saying

545
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 3: you did it. I was a little girl in those moments.

546
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 3: I was a little girl with those actresses, and I

547
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 3: was a little girl with you know, mommy and daddy,

548
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 3: the director, and each one of the women, in their

549
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 3: own way, gave me like a and they gave it

550
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 3: to me as if you know, you did a good job.

551
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 3: I heard it as they thought I did a good

552
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 3: job right, which was what I needed at that moment.

553
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,719
Speaker 3: And I knew it too, I did, but I didn't

554
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 3: I wasn't really open to hearing it. The director came

555
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 3: up to me after a sixteen hour day and she

556
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 3: said that was really beautiful. And I said, oh, thank you,

557
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 3: thank you. I'm glad it worked out, and thank you

558
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 3: for having me and you know, and then she went, no, no, no,

559
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 3: she's from Germany. She put her hands on my shoulder.

560
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 3: She said, I think you need to hear this. You

561
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 3: blew me away. Oh and that was it, and thank

562
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 3: you for being open. And I just I needed that, yeah,

563
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 3: you know. And then whether I do any more of

564
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 3: that again, I probably don't even really covet it in

565
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 3: the same way. And should I be ashamed that I

566
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 3: needed three women to you know? Was I lucky that

567
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 3: I got that chance, Yes, but I also just needed

568
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 3: to know it from myself and without even getting it

569
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 3: from them. What the director said was icing on the cake,

570
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 3: because at the end of it, now I called my

571
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 3: husband before I heard any of that, and I just said,

572
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 3: is I got to do? I said, I did it.

573
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 3: I did it. I did inside, knocked it out of

574
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 3: the park, and I'm going to get you know, little

575
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 3: gold men, just you know, all over the place. But

576
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 3: it didn't matter about that anymore. It didn't matter about awards.

577
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 3: It didn't matter about those things that as a little

578
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 3: girl and going to the Academy Awards sitting in the back, back,

579
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:44,239
Speaker 3: back up, nosebleed seats and thinking one day I'm going

580
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 3: to get there one day like that silliness and to

581
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 3: just say, you know what, I'm I'm okay, and I

582
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 3: am good enough, and I don't I can release that

583
00:30:55,840 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 3: from myself and and just I can release it, which

584
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 3: was just, I mean, it was a pretty extreme, great

585
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 3: way to get it. I have to say I would

586
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 3: have liked I mean, I would still be working on

587
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 3: getting it without such obvious validation. But it I no

588
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 3: longer have the same pining that I used to. And

589
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 3: I also look at my life now and I definitely

590
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 3: would not have the life. I wouldn't be able to

591
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 3: live the life that I'm living had I not had

592
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 3: the level of fame and access if I had just

593
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 3: been on the path that I thought I was going

594
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 3: to be on, you know, the Natalie Portmant path when

595
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 3: she did the professional which was sort of her pretty Baby,

596
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 3: you know, and working with the Louis Mills and Suffarellis

597
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 3: and really being in that Wisconsin, that world and then

598
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 3: all of a sudden turned on its head and you

599
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 3: got dolls made after you. You know, it always rocked me.

600
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 1: I think anyone can relate to that whole notion of

601
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 1: thinking that you're going to be going in one direction

602
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 1: and finding out that that's not your destiny, and then

603
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 1: also embracing what your destiny is, which is something you've

604
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 1: also done.

605
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 3: I just recently said no to singing opposite Cynthia Revo

606
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 3: in Lincoln Center, and I was begged to do it,

607
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 3: and I mean, what idiot would say no to that?

608
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 3: And I turned it down and I said, you know what,

609
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 3: this is not my strength, my forte. I would have

610
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 3: loved to have said, I was did it, I'm okay.

611
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 3: Not having your vocal prowess like I'm okay. And that's

612
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 3: another piece too, is really knowing, like knowing what your

613
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 3: strengths are. And I think that that's an important thing

614
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 3: to be willing to admit. Yeah, I'm not that great

615
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 3: at that. I'm fine with it, and they wanted me

616
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 3: for some reason. But you know, walking away from something

617
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 3: too that you just know in your heart of hearts

618
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 3: you won't be able to soar with. It's a very

619
00:32:58,560 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 3: new concept for me.

620
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 1: I wanted that. Yeah, No, I love that. I love that.

621
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 1: So we're gonna take a break. I'm go'll be right

622
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: back with Brookshields And we're back with Brook. Okay, so

623
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 1: you started a brand, Well, it started with you wanted

624
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: a community to build community with comments, which is something

625
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 1: that you have been thinking about doing, and for women

626
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 1: over forty who are going through all of the same things,

627
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: all of the same emotions, all of the feelings of

628
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: kind of stepping into who you really are, which is

629
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 1: something you know. It sounds very cliche, but I mean,

630
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 1: I'm forty nine, I'm gonna be fifty in a couple

631
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 1: of months.

632
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 5: I've never been happier in my life because I understand

633
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 5: now where the joy is and to go after that

634
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 5: instead of going after all of the other stuff that

635
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 5: we think we have to go after to make us

636
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 5: relatable or relevant or successful. Like now I know we're happy. Yeah,

637
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 5: I don't make I don't date idiots. I don't do

638
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 5: stupid things like I used to when I'm younger. So

639
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 5: the joy and the power of aging is more than

640
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 5: what we've been talking about, more than what we've been

641
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 5: hearing about for the last many years about your confidence

642
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 5: and about your sexual prowess or how you come into

643
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 5: your own.

644
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 1: It's more than that. It's more. It's about And this

645
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:16,879
Speaker 1: is a word that you use a lot too, which

646
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,319
Speaker 1: I use a lot in my book that's not out yet,

647
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 1: but joy, finding joy, finding joy in everything you do,

648
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: enjoying your.

649
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:28,839
Speaker 5: Life, especially where you at the stage you're in, where

650
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,839
Speaker 5: your girls are gone, they're often doing their thing, and

651
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,319
Speaker 5: you have to rediscover what are the things that make

652
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 5: you happy and prioritizing yourself and also saying no to

653
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,359
Speaker 5: all of the bullshit that we've said yes to our

654
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 5: whole lives because we want to please other people.

655
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 1: And then you've also had this hair brand because everyone

656
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: loves your hair. Obviously you have the most famous hair

657
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 1: and it's for women who are fitting, who are going

658
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 1: through menopause, going through perimenopause, dealing with hair fitning. Do

659
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,319
Speaker 1: you want to talk a little bit about Commands Bruck.

660
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 3: Yeah. I started it as the community to really empower

661
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 3: women to age joyfully. I mean joy was a word

662
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 3: we've always had with us, and joyfully and you know

663
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 3: we say fearlessly, but it's not a call to action,

664
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 3: it's not pressure. It's just there's joy to be had.

665
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 3: And we've done so much in our lives, whatever it is,

666
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 3: we've gotten to this age that's tremendous. Right. You start

667
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 3: having the conversations with women and they are craving it

668
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 3: and it's pervasive. And the women that I know who

669
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 3: are over forty are fabulous and they are not so

670
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:38,400
Speaker 3: down on themselves. They're wondering what's next. And this sense

671
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 3: of joy as to there's more to come is not

672
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 3: what society or the beauty industry really is the narrative

673
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 3: they're feeding us, right, and it's certainly not historical. So

674
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 3: we analyzed who we were as a brand and we said,

675
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,800
Speaker 3: you know what, we're not just a hair care brand.

676
00:35:55,880 --> 00:36:00,320
Speaker 3: We're not just a beauty brand. We are a care brand.

677
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 3: It is you know, we always say take care, and

678
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 3: there's a lot that means that take care of yourself,

679
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 3: take care to be listening to yourself, take care when

680
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 3: it's offered, and be good to you, like find where

681
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 3: you are joyous and cut out the people and the

682
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,399
Speaker 3: things and the experiences and the time sucks that are

683
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 3: out there, and let's see what we would do with

684
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:28,320
Speaker 3: this extra time or how we'd feel. But we started

685
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 3: to develop hair care with very strategic, smaller groups, with

686
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 3: very very active ingredients, working directly with the lab. So

687
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 3: we're not a not even a massige. I guess they

688
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 3: call it brand. We've kept it small, we've kept the

689
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 3: price point very relatable, and they deal with scalp health.

690
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:54,839
Speaker 3: Scalp health is a thing in women that changes most dramatically.

691
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 3: You know, the actual follicle, the root where it goes

692
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,959
Speaker 3: into the poor actually shrinks. It's so fair the things

693
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,839
Speaker 3: that shrink when you get older and the things that

694
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:08,319
Speaker 3: drop and get bigger. Hair is one of them. Your

695
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:13,320
Speaker 3: scalp health. There's patchiness of dry hormonal reactions where moonal

696
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 3: changes luster, all of these things, and we went a

697
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:20,880
Speaker 3: deep dive and we created that six products that dealt

698
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 3: with addressing scalp health and therefore hair health from the

699
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:29,880
Speaker 3: root out. So that is that is the one piece

700
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 3: we will be moving into other categories. I don't want

701
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,359
Speaker 3: to become just a haircare brand or just proliferate that

702
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 3: and then just hold up things and say by this

703
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 3: because I said it. I put my own money into it.

704
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 3: Then I ran out of my own money. Then I

705
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:48,799
Speaker 3: had to raise money. Startups are brutal, and you know,

706
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 3: I spend more of my time trying to raise money

707
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 3: and spend more of my time pivoting so that our

708
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 3: team is amazing. I've never been a CEO. I can't

709
00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:59,959
Speaker 3: believe the things that are coming out of my mouth

710
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,239
Speaker 3: when I'm like going like this in a book and

711
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:07,240
Speaker 3: I'm just learning, and I'm coming into exactly the clarity

712
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 3: that started the company when I started the community, and

713
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 3: that is really solving all of what makes a woman's

714
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 3: life her life in this and beauty is a big

715
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 3: piece of it. Body care is a big piece of it.

716
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 3: You know, there's scent is a big piece of it.

717
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 3: There's so many things that do give us joy that

718
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:31,760
Speaker 3: I used to think of as luxuries or take.

719
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:34,479
Speaker 1: For granted, right, I mean, we take for granted all.

720
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 3: Of that stuff We're frivolous to spend time on. Now,

721
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 3: my time a lot of it gets spent on just me.

722
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 3: So the company is called Commens and the community is

723
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 3: the Commenced Community, and they keep growing. Well.

724
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 1: On that note, I think we should give some advice

725
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 1: to callers. Catherine, do we have time for a couple

726
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:56,360
Speaker 1: of calls? We have them for probably like one. Okay, great,

727
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: let's do it. Let's do it.

728
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 2: Okay, so we have color DD, she says. Dear Chelsea,

729
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,719
Speaker 2: I'm a twenty eight year old married mother of two,

730
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,919
Speaker 2: and I've always been close with my own mother. Don't

731
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 2: get me wrong, she was a good mom, but I

732
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 2: probably could have used a mother more than a friend

733
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:12,720
Speaker 2: sometimes when growing up. Nowadays, we do a lot together.

734
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 2: She comes over almost every Saturday to watch football and

735
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 2: drink beer. We go out, and we even went to

736
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 2: Chelsea's show in Atlanta a couple of years back. But

737
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 2: since she hit menopause and started hormone replacement therapy, she

738
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 2: is like a cat in heat. She's always been one

739
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 2: to look good and presentable. She's a beautiful woman and

740
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:31,879
Speaker 2: is no stranger to male attention. She was always cool

741
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,839
Speaker 2: and confident, not a tryhard. Now it seems like she

742
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:38,800
Speaker 2: needs every male's attention and females too. She over analyzes

743
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 2: every outfit and photo she's in and will ruin a

744
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 2: whole outing with her mood if she feels she doesn't

745
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 2: look amazing. She also drinks to excess and sometimes makes

746
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 2: a fool of herself.

747
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: If she isn't.

748
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,880
Speaker 2: Drunk, she's irritable. I have two young kids. All their

749
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,839
Speaker 2: grandparents are dad besides her. I thought she might enjoy

750
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 2: stepping into her grandmother role and being there for me

751
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 2: in ways she wasn't when I was a teen, But

752
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 2: she's proving to me that all she cares about is

753
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 2: happy hour with meaningless acquaintances. She's fifty one and has

754
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 2: never had a successful romantic relationship. She doesn't think she

755
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,320
Speaker 2: should have to answer for any of her bad behavior

756
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 2: and brushes it under the rug or plays a victim

757
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 2: when I call it out. We don't have the best

758
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 2: history with communication, but for the past few years I

759
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:20,760
Speaker 2: have really worked on myself and how I handle my relationships,

760
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 2: and I wish she could do the same. How do

761
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:25,279
Speaker 2: I tell my mom she's letting me down without the

762
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 2: message being completely lost. I'd love to hear from you, ladies.

763
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 2: Signed disappointed daughter.

764
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 1: Hi, disappointed daughter, Hi, Hi, this is our special guest today, Brookshields.

765
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 6: Hi, so nice, hey.

766
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 3: Nice to me.

767
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 1: She's a mother of two daughters, so I'm sure she

768
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 1: can relate to some degree to this.

769
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,839
Speaker 5: Well, well, that's really tough. It's really hard when your

770
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 5: mom is embarrassing. But all moms are embarrassing, Yes, I have,

771
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:56,879
Speaker 5: This is true. All parents embarrassed. You're full last night,

772
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 5: you're annoying. You're just annoying.

773
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,399
Speaker 6: I know, and we've been through all that. I don't

774
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 6: want to be mean to her by any means.

775
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 1: But no, and I don't think judgment from your children

776
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 1: is how that this kind of phase of her life

777
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,359
Speaker 1: is how she's going to either snap out of it

778
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 1: or grow up a little. I don't think it's going

779
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 1: to come from you, because it's really hard, Brooke. I

780
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 1: would imagine to take criticism from your children and judgment,

781
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:27,359
Speaker 1: and for.

782
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:30,719
Speaker 3: The most part, that's sort of their job. I mean,

783
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,800
Speaker 3: I have eighteen and twenty one and they're not moms yet,

784
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:37,360
Speaker 3: but they also they are the one that in particular

785
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 3: is full of judgment and it's constant. And her version

786
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 3: of it is she needs to individuate from me, and

787
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 3: she doesn't know how to do it, so she fights

788
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 3: me to hate me, and then it can justify her leaving.

789
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 3: But I feel like as the age your mom is,

790
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:58,400
Speaker 3: I think she's scared. I think she's feeling that about herself.

791
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 3: She's watching you. I don't know how old your baby is,

792
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 3: but as you watch your daughter sort of launchpad into

793
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 3: this vibrant area of their lives, and your ovaries and

794
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 3: everything is going to work for and you are watching

795
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:18,880
Speaker 3: your what you think is your demise, right, It's it's

796
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 3: very unsettling to see and to see the beauty in

797
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,879
Speaker 3: your daughter and then to look in the mirror and

798
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 3: not see the same thing. And then you step outside

799
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 3: and the world attacks you for being fifty. For you know,

800
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 3: you're over the hell you're this, You're not represented. You're

801
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:38,799
Speaker 3: either this twenty year old girl at the bar, or

802
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 3: you're in depends and dentures. That's what they have relegated

803
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:47,319
Speaker 3: us to, right, And I think that it's I don't know.

804
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,320
Speaker 3: I mean again, I don't give advice, but what I

805
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 3: will say is that the times that my mom my

806
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,919
Speaker 3: children that because I've my mom was in a very

807
00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:00,920
Speaker 3: different broken place and she was older, but the times

808
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 3: that as a mom I have been with my girls

809
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 3: and they've looked at me and led with just love

810
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,400
Speaker 3: and said, I know it must be hard, mom, but

811
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 3: I think you're beautiful, or they've said, wow, I think

812
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 3: that you should, like, don't put yourself down. Like you

813
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 3: taught me to love myself. You've got to you taught

814
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 3: me how to be like this. The problem is if

815
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 3: she's so resistant, I mean, she has to do the

816
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 3: work on herself because nothing you say that's positive is

817
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 3: going to make her like herself.

818
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 1: No, but I do.

819
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 5: Think positivity goes a long way in helping people face themselves,

820
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 5: like judgment doesn't, do you know, you just create resistance.

821
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 1: You create like, oh, I'm going to rebel against you.

822
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:44,439
Speaker 1: And even though you are in more of the mother

823
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:46,840
Speaker 1: role like you guys, kind of sounds like you have

824
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 1: flipped your roles and you are a mother and I'm

825
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:53,880
Speaker 1: assuming you're responsible and she's seeing that. I think everything

826
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 1: Brooke said is spot on, Like I think you have

827
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 1: to really look at her with some compassion and understanding

828
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,239
Speaker 1: of what you might be going through and instead of

829
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 1: the judgment. I have a friend who's dealing with this

830
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 1: with her mother, very similar circumstances, and she really did

831
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:10,400
Speaker 1: just flip the script. She's like, no, I'm just going

832
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 1: to go at her with compassion and love and tell

833
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 1: her about all the wonderful things about her until she

834
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,879
Speaker 1: really starts to believe them herself. And when she does

835
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 1: start to believe them herself, she is going to be

836
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 1: a little bit different. And there are different ways. You know,

837
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:25,760
Speaker 1: you can do that too, and with books and hopefully

838
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: encouraging her to, you know, do some therapy. Maybe you

839
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: can volunteer to do some therapy with her, just just

840
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,800
Speaker 1: to push her and to get like, not because something

841
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 1: is wrong, but to push her to really find out

842
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:40,919
Speaker 1: what her purpose is, right, like to experience this life

843
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,960
Speaker 1: in the best way. She's in now in her fifties.

844
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:46,960
Speaker 1: This is a whole new opportunity to have a whole

845
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 1: new life, you know, I look at fifties kind of

846
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 1: like a reset.

847
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 6: Yeah, and that's kind of how I saw it. I

848
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,240
Speaker 6: was like, why is she spending so much time worrying

849
00:44:56,320 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 6: about validation from others and or how she looks this

850
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 6: and that when it's like this could be such a big,

851
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 6: beautiful away time, but.

852
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's not feeling in ourselves.

853
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, nailed You nailed it with what you said Brooke,

854
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 6: and she has been kind of like I started reading

855
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:16,680
Speaker 6: more again and she was like, oh, like she asked

856
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 6: me recently kind of what's do I have a recommendation

857
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 6: or whatever? And I was like, oh, so she is

858
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 6: kind of I noticed kind of picking up, you know,

859
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 6: just kind of if you want, I'm kind of being

860
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:29,400
Speaker 6: the example. You know, like how many people do I

861
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 6: need to be an example for? But if that's what

862
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 6: I need to do to get my mom to see

863
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 6: her full potential and beauty and everything, then I'm absolutely

864
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 6: willing to.

865
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 3: And you're thankful for I mean, well, what I've said

866
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 3: worked for me is whenever my daughters will say something

867
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,919
Speaker 3: like well, Mom, you know I got that from you,

868
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 3: it doesn't give me anything to fight against because I

869
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 3: love what I see in her and then she's attributing

870
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 3: it to Mom. You know that's what you you should.

871
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 3: I want you to feel what I feel. And I

872
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 3: wouldn't be able to feel these things had you not

873
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 3: taught me that I could feel as good about myself

874
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:09,879
Speaker 3: for and even in therapy, you have to be really

875
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 3: careful because it should be like I would love this

876
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 3: for me, and then you know, otherwise they feel attacked

877
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 3: and it's like a you know, like an intervention. Then

878
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,879
Speaker 3: you're there to tell them everything they're doing wrong. And

879
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 3: the flipping of it is so I tell my younger daughter, no,

880
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 3: tug of war only works if both people are pulling right,

881
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,440
Speaker 3: and so you don't, you don't do it and you

882
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:38,240
Speaker 3: lead with this kind of kindness because they're not hearing

883
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 3: any of that kindness reflected back to them. When they

884
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 3: look in the mirror, they're seeing just what they're not.

885
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 3: They're not this enough, they're not young enough, they're not

886
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 3: thin enough, they're not that enough, they're too many ring

887
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:51,760
Speaker 3: o bla blah blah blah. And the tapes just keep going,

888
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:57,440
Speaker 3: and the more you're reflected to her as in like, wow, mom,

889
00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 3: this you know, but this is I learned so much.

890
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:02,279
Speaker 3: I got this and and it's so much fun. And

891
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 3: why don't we start around a little book club?

892
00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 1: Definitely?

893
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 3: And do you know? And then you could talk about

894
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 3: characters and then you're not talking about yourself, Like there's

895
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 3: there's ways.

896
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,800
Speaker 1: Start with Brooks book. This is a great book for

897
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 1: you and your mother to read together.

898
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:20,280
Speaker 3: That's about aging, it's funny, and yeah, it's about.

899
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 1: Her relationship with her daughters, and how she's stepping into

900
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 1: her own confidence over the course of her life at

901
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 1: different ages, and and kind of the various bursts of

902
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 1: self empowerment that women receive and experience. This is a

903
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:35,239
Speaker 1: great thing. Start reading books with your mom and start

904
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 1: finding books that are actually going to have like an

905
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:40,720
Speaker 1: impact onto her perspective and her value.

906
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 3: You know, she doesn't feel valuable right now, right right,

907
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 3: and you're gone.

908
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,319
Speaker 6: That was my next question is if you have any

909
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 6: book recommendations, So that's that's perfect.

910
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 3: There are lots of others too.

911
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,280
Speaker 6: Oh well, I was planning on reading yours anyway, I'm excited.

912
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:54,319
Speaker 3: Oh okay, well, I mean.

913
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 1: You just had the Mel Robbins on the podcast. She

914
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,399
Speaker 1: wrote a book called Let Them, which is really about

915
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:02,800
Speaker 1: letting other people do their shit and stop trying to

916
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 1: control other people and letting them, which is good for

917
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 1: you and good for your mother, because yeah, you could

918
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 1: read it together. I don't want you to think like, oh,

919
00:48:11,239 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 1: this is such an onus on me. You already have

920
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: to take care of your children and now you have

921
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 1: to take care of your mother. Listen, we're given as

922
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 1: much as we can handle. Clearly, your mom, like you're

923
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:21,880
Speaker 1: more in a more capable position right now, in this

924
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 1: moment in time, than your mother is. So take that

925
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 1: responsibility on with joy. That is a great gift that

926
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 1: you're able to give to your mother.

927
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 3: Not a burden. Don't look at it like that because

928
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:32,280
Speaker 3: you'll resent.

929
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 1: Right, you don't want to resent your mother. You want

930
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 1: to help your mother. You want her to flourish. So

931
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 1: think of some other activities that you guys can do

932
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,919
Speaker 1: together that don't evolve happy hour or don't evolve going

933
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:42,399
Speaker 1: to a bar.

934
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 3: You know.

935
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 1: Maybe you do join an actual book club. Maybe you

936
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 1: find some other activities where she can like meet people,

937
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:52,399
Speaker 1: or it's a social environment. But it's not all about

938
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 1: the drinking and just hanging out and doing nothing, you know,

939
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 1: and like.

940
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 3: A lot of drinking is about avoidance. I mean, it's

941
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 3: just it's pretty pretty obvious and clear. And she feels

942
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 3: sexier when she's drinking, and you know, she comes out

943
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,160
Speaker 3: of her shell and she becomes that image of what

944
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:10,680
Speaker 3: she used to be, you know, and who she is

945
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 3: is not just enough, it's beautiful. She's got to know,

946
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:17,800
Speaker 3: she's got to feel that love for her own actual self.

947
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,879
Speaker 3: And I think it's a very fraught period of she's

948
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,800
Speaker 3: threatened right now that her value is just being diminished.

949
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

950
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 6: All I want for her is to see that for herself.

951
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 6: See here how I see her and see her full potential.

952
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,760
Speaker 6: So thank you guys. That was awesome advice.

953
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 1: Oh good good.

954
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that all dan need to have a

955
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:38,799
Speaker 3: great holiday too.

956
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 1: Happy holidays. Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll

957
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 1: be right back to.

958
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 5: Wrap up with Brookshields. And we're back with Brookshields. Okay,

959
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 5: So how do people find comments?

960
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 3: If you just look up shop comments all lowercase shop

961
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:03,279
Speaker 3: comments dot com cumn and it's all about really the

962
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:07,399
Speaker 3: new beginnings and beginnings of this era and being as

963
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 3: joyful and healthy and just in our lives and proud

964
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 3: of who we are.

965
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 1: And are you still doing the groups too? If people

966
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 1: want to join in on the groups?

967
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to bring books into it

968
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 3: as well and really have it be a world of care.

969
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:25,239
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. And Brooks new book

970
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 1: is brookshield is not allowed to get old thoughts on

971
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 1: aging as a woman.

972
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:30,839
Speaker 3: It is out.

973
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: It'll probably be out as soon as you hear this podcast.

974
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:34,800
Speaker 1: I'm sure by the time we put this out, and

975
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 1: it will be available at all places, all bookstores. And

976
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 1: I was going to say wherever you listen to your podcasts,

977
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, this is a book and this

978
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 1: is not a podcast.

979
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:46,120
Speaker 3: Well no, and then my podcast didn't get rid of

980
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 3: for you, so I don't have that on my plate,

981
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 3: which is fine. But I went into the audio recording

982
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 3: of the books, so the also on audible and audio

983
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 3: and it's all me, okay, well it was you want

984
00:50:58,239 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 3: to listen to me anymore?

985
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 1: Well, we do, we do? You always want to listen

986
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 1: to you, Brook. I totally appreciate your time today. Thank

987
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 1: you so much. Congrats on everything. Please say hello to

988
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 1: your lovely husband Chris Hench for me.

989
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 3: I will, I will it? Will? You look like you're

990
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 3: in a cozy flace. I wish I was there. I am.

991
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:17,920
Speaker 1: I'm in my happy place now. Yes, have a great day.

992
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 3: Okay, thank you for you too, Thank you very much.

993
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:21,399
Speaker 3: Bye bye.

994
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:24,640
Speaker 2: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

995
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

996
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 2: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

997
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 2: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law, and

998
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 2: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com.