Speaker 1: At this point, like black people were just like an
Speaker 1: unsatisfiable girlfriend, like we really just we really just need
Speaker 1: to leave, you know what I mean? But every day
Speaker 1: we just like that, ain't it? You know what I'm
Speaker 1: saying it is, And it's like they'd be trying with
Speaker 1: there's nothing, there's really nothing. They watched the feet, like
Speaker 1: you go, why you watching feet? They put on a
Speaker 1: can take me like you idiot, take that home. You
Speaker 1: wasn't washing my feet before? Why to wash my feet? Now?
Speaker 1: They give out the oscars you should have been gave her.
Speaker 1: Now you want to giving them because we black. There's
Speaker 1: just no there's nothing they could do. It's like y'all
Speaker 1: just have to go away. And yes, my chips in
Speaker 1: your racist money altern stuff, I can't tell me. Yeah. Welcome,
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen to a fantastic, a spectacular, a devastating
Speaker 1: episode of My Mama Told Me the podcast where we
Speaker 1: did deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories
Speaker 1: and we worked to finally answer that question, What the
Speaker 1: funk happened to Forest Whittaker's eye? Please, someone tell me
Speaker 1: what happened to the man's eye. It was at a
Speaker 1: pussying accident. I have no idea how did his eye
Speaker 1: get so terribly damaged. I once saw Forest Whittaker taking
Speaker 1: a dump in a Denny's restaurant. I was on Hollywood
Speaker 1: and Gower. I was hanging out with my friends and
Speaker 1: Forest Whittaker came in and politely asked where the restaroom was.
Speaker 1: And then one of my boys said, Hey, that's Forest Whittaker,
Speaker 1: And then we all just watched him go take a
Speaker 1: dump for twenty minutes and then come back out and
Speaker 1: drive away in a very nice part. But no answers
Speaker 1: on the eye. But you know who might have answers
Speaker 1: on his eye and a whole lot of other answers.
Speaker 1: Is my guest today. She's fucking phenomenal, A dear friend,
Speaker 1: a hilarious comedian. You know her from Comedy Central, you
Speaker 1: know her from Netflix. She has a brand new Netflix
Speaker 1: special called three in the Morning that you motherfucker's better watch.
Speaker 1: It's one of my favorite special is one of my
Speaker 1: favorite comedians. Give it up, ladies and gentlemen for Sam Jay.
Speaker 1: What's up? This is so weird but also fun with
Speaker 1: cheering in the background. Is that yeah? And like you
Speaker 1: introduced me, we were like really good friends yeah, that
Speaker 1: we like talk every day and then yeah, I have
Speaker 1: to do these formal introductions. There's no way to be
Speaker 1: like I talked to this nigga this morning. Give it
Speaker 1: up for sam Jay. We were texting about a puppet
Speaker 1: who has an ownly fans account. Give it up for
Speaker 1: a stay of day. Wait, what are you drinking? What
Speaker 1: is that? Y'all made me a drink with some te
Speaker 1: quilla and then she put a popsicle in it because
Speaker 1: she's extra. Oh ship, that actually looks phenomenal, but it
Speaker 1: tastes pretty tasty. That's beautiful. Honestly, it reminds me of
Speaker 1: your conspiracy theory. It has sort of a very a crossover,
Speaker 1: if you will, of what your conspiracy theory was. And
Speaker 1: you came to me with one that, to me personally,
Speaker 1: was a devastating revelation because I had not personally heard
Speaker 1: this one. But you said, my mama told me the
Speaker 1: KKK used to make mystic juices. Yes, tell me more.
Speaker 1: I just remember, like I was a kid, you know,
Speaker 1: growing up at Dorchester in Boston, and I remember one
Speaker 1: day I was with like two three of my friends
Speaker 1: and I went to get a mistic. I used to
Speaker 1: always get the very joint. The very joint was my
Speaker 1: jam with a blue Yeah. So I grabbed the Ferry
Speaker 1: Joy and this is like the old bottle that was
Speaker 1: shaped like you know what I mean, It was like
Speaker 1: it looked like a lava lamp. A shape was a
Speaker 1: little funny. I feel like Mystic Juices really went for
Speaker 1: like an exotic look, like they wanted almost like a
Speaker 1: sexual energy to their bottles. And juice used to be
Speaker 1: a big deal. There was so many different juices and
Speaker 1: like the bottling was major, and I remember they had
Speaker 1: like that gold rapper and it just felt like you
Speaker 1: were you were stepping up, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: You're definitely stepping up in the juice game. And I
Speaker 1: grabbed it in my homie Gregory was like, don't drink that.
Speaker 1: It's made by the KKK, and I was like, he
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, KKK makes Mystic and that's why it's
Speaker 1: always in the hood. And I was like, yeah, that
Speaker 1: makes sense to me. And I put it back and
Speaker 1: I got a clearly Canadian you just let all your
Speaker 1: dreams to go. And I thought alternative, Oh man, you
Speaker 1: know what worry about you saying that it's only or
Speaker 1: like that's why it's in the hood. Is I even
Speaker 1: introducing your topic to our producers, nick I had to
Speaker 1: explain to him what mystic is. He's he had no idea.
Speaker 1: It was like, what what is mystic? I was like, well,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like I guess it's like nigger Nantucket nectars. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's exactly. I never thought about that, but that's a
Speaker 1: hundred percent what it is. It's like very hood specific.
Speaker 1: That grape, that red one, that grape whatever. That joint
Speaker 1: was good. I believe you're referring to Mystic grape strawberry. Yes, son,
Speaker 1: that was good. I looked up all the flavors. They
Speaker 1: have Mystic grape strawberry drink. They have Mystic tropical haze.
Speaker 1: That was that. And you know what else everyone said
Speaker 1: was made by the KKK Crooked Eyes juice, Remember the
Speaker 1: saying eyes juice. Oh I don't know this. Oh you
Speaker 1: should look up crooked Eyes. They got little commercials too.
Speaker 1: It was some real fucked up ship. But they was say,
Speaker 1: not start up, making just a juice and it came
Speaker 1: in a can and it looked like saying that, and
Speaker 1: it had the simple on it. But it was called
Speaker 1: crooked Eyes and like kids used to buy it, and
Speaker 1: it was like on that like candy cigarette ship, like
Speaker 1: priming kids like, look, we know we can't sell you
Speaker 1: this ship now, but when you're ready, we'll be here. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it was called Crooked Eyes and it was just juice.
Speaker 1: We used to buy it all the time ship and
Speaker 1: and so the theory was that the kkkk to get
Speaker 1: people hooked on our liquor. Wow, And so what was
Speaker 1: your boy's theory? So just that it was in the
Speaker 1: hood was the only reason. That's all he needed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's all he needed. It was enough to convince me.
Speaker 1: I was like, it is in the hood. He was like,
Speaker 1: you won't be seeing that in the white neighborhoods. I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't, you don't And Mystic wasn't. It's
Speaker 1: not in the white neighborhoods. And the even crazier part
Speaker 1: is and I was I was saying this to someone
Speaker 1: earlier that like, Mystic was almost the first juice that
Speaker 1: didn't pretend to be juice, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like it just even in the title it says juice
Speaker 1: drink because it's just like, nah, we are offering you
Speaker 1: vitamins and minerals. This just neon. It's neon sugar enjoying.
Speaker 1: It's like it's tasty. Yeah, that does sound like fun
Speaker 1: like somebody ship when you think about it. And it's
Speaker 1: weird because I was just so twitter today and someone
Speaker 1: was like, who in the hell drinks the white mystic
Speaker 1: the you know, the colatta, And I was like, that's
Speaker 1: really I stayed away from that white one. That one
Speaker 1: was just I don't know, it was just weird. And
Speaker 1: people who drank the colada with weirdos Like I feel
Speaker 1: like anytime like someone went in and grabbed the colatta,
Speaker 1: we was all looking like, what are you doing? There's
Speaker 1: my mom used to drink the white. Uh. It's like
Speaker 1: a whole person one like, but when you saw a
Speaker 1: kid do it, it was very jarring. I think any
Speaker 1: kid who reaches for peanut, colat of flavor anything is
Speaker 1: like it's something. Why why are you so eager to
Speaker 1: get to retirement with the Usually a Dominican don't like
Speaker 1: all Dominican because they drink that coquito is like kids,
Speaker 1: so they just got the like flavors in the mouth
Speaker 1: for it. Right, this is this is gonna feel a
Speaker 1: little like home. So I'll turn that black kids. We
Speaker 1: ain't drinking peanut a lot of flavor and anything. I
Speaker 1: think the closest I came to drinking peanut a lot
Speaker 1: of flavor than anything was when uh seven eleven used
Speaker 1: to make a peanut alot of slurpy. I would like
Speaker 1: mix that in with a bunch of ship. But yeah,
Speaker 1: more just to have all the flavors. It was a
Speaker 1: good base to just get get stuff cracking, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you throw a little coconut and this ship and now
Speaker 1: I'm on a beach somewhere. Yeah, now it's tropical. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that. Your mom who's drinking the coladas? Though?
Speaker 1: I like it was a mystic family. I like my family. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, we used to go to I don't know
Speaker 1: where you saw mystic the most, but for us, it
Speaker 1: was in like good Chinese food restaurants, like the Chinese
Speaker 1: food restaurants with the bulletproof glass and energy. That's where
Speaker 1: we got our Chinese food from. I didn't know Chinese
Speaker 1: people ate from regular restaurants. I got much older, but
Speaker 1: you could order, like if you ordered enough shrimp fried rice,
Speaker 1: they just throw a mystic. For sure. This ship is meaningless.
Speaker 1: It don't matter. It's cost one sense to make. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you believed you believe Gregory right away? How much
Speaker 1: do you believe in this conspiracy? Now, if I'm being honest,
Speaker 1: I would say there's still like a good fife percent
Speaker 1: of me. That's like it's possible, it's possible. It's possible
Speaker 1: they could have been doing that, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't know. Anytime I hate the KKK's
Speaker 1: doing stuff, I'm like, baby, right, yeah, I think you know,
Speaker 1: as a reasonable black person, you have no right to
Speaker 1: deny the potential of the KKK, right, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. You can't be walking around like, no, the
Speaker 1: KKK ain't doing nothing. You gotta be like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe they could be, maybe they could be on that that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna take the risk of supporting the KKK.
Speaker 1: And I think the other thing was just like they
Speaker 1: just want to make money off black people, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like it's a way to like exploit
Speaker 1: our community and keep the poison its juice out of
Speaker 1: their community. Right, So, so this is double layered. Then
Speaker 1: this isn't just an active attempt at poisoning black people.
Speaker 1: This is also like we got to help fund our
Speaker 1: community and our KKKE stuff, our KKK stuff. All these
Speaker 1: crosses were burning are expensive, at least that's what my
Speaker 1: mind did. I was like, so they're using the money
Speaker 1: to fund the KKK. I can't be funding the KKK.
Speaker 1: So then I can't give this my money. I can't
Speaker 1: buy Mystic juices in the moon And so did you
Speaker 1: completely cut them off from that? I did. I stopped
Speaker 1: drinking them for a while, and I would tell other people.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, don't drink that, right, Wait, what was
Speaker 1: the alternative to Mystic? Once I got cut off? I
Speaker 1: feel like after this got cut off, I was I
Speaker 1: was drinking mad, clearly Canadian. Okay, really got sad after that,
Speaker 1: thinking a lot. I like, clearly Canadian. I think it
Speaker 1: was a good little fizzy, sugary thing that didn't make sense.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I like the very one in the
Speaker 1: peach one Okay, not for me, but I'm not here, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm not here to yuck your young a juice person, though.
Speaker 1: I was like, I was really into the juice culture.
Speaker 1: I was like juice. I was really, I'm going to
Speaker 1: juice Con every year, bro, Like anytime the juice dropped
Speaker 1: I was like a mom, we need to get this
Speaker 1: juice to see what it is. I'm not gonna lie
Speaker 1: to you. They just mix Keywi into a new flavor,
Speaker 1: and I gotta I gotta know what that's like. I
Speaker 1: gotta know what that's about. I was big on Bocou
Speaker 1: for a while. I was like, I only drank bocous.
Speaker 1: You didn't say you're not a juice dude. Man, I'm
Speaker 1: not a juice dude. You gotta get too cool. It
Speaker 1: used to be a comic that did the commercials. I
Speaker 1: want to say, like Richard, it was a comic. They
Speaker 1: used to do the vocal commercials and they were like
Speaker 1: a juice box, but it was a juice box for adults.
Speaker 1: So it was like this tall and it had a
Speaker 1: little like aluminum tab you with pool and I do
Speaker 1: feel like I remember this. They had like a pineapple
Speaker 1: joint that was crazy. It wasn't a straw, right, It
Speaker 1: was just sort of you pull this tab and you
Speaker 1: drink it sort of yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I don't
Speaker 1: remember these. It was no boy who's in Curb your
Speaker 1: enthusiast Richard Lewis, Yes, he would do the commercials. The
Speaker 1: older sicker John Stewart is he just looks like John
Speaker 1: Stewart's like very old, sickly uncle. That's true. I would
Speaker 1: I would bring them sister school though, and like flex
Speaker 1: on the kids because our kids had a little kittie joints.
Speaker 1: He had a little the minute to joint a little
Speaker 1: mons choice and I'll come up with the boko like
Speaker 1: I'm a beast, like y'all still drinking juicy juice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: nig are what capri son, bro, I've always been this.
Speaker 1: It's like this is always big. I'm trying to find
Speaker 1: a way to stunt on somebody. It's comforting to hear.
Speaker 1: I'm glad to know that this wasn't just like you
Speaker 1: getting older and flexing. You were just like, nah, I
Speaker 1: should flex from the day all day. Definitely what flex
Speaker 1: on kids with the snacks. So you text me, uh
Speaker 1: this morning because the original conversation that we had was
Speaker 1: about mystic, but you said that you were looking it
Speaker 1: up and that you also realized that this was true
Speaker 1: about Snapple, or at least this conspiracy theory existed about Snapple. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was thinking about it this morning, like what's it
Speaker 1: really mystic or was it another juice? Because I felt
Speaker 1: like Mystic was like a hood thing. I feel like
Speaker 1: there was another juice that it became like a thing.
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, I really missed it. And
Speaker 1: then I was like, let me look it up before
Speaker 1: I make my friend look stupid, because that's how what
Speaker 1: I care about. You hadn't been another podcast, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: looked Ship up. I was like, I don't care, but
Speaker 1: I was like, now, let me look it up because
Speaker 1: I want my friend looking stupid. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: oh no, it Snapple. Yeah, so I also was looking
Speaker 1: it up. I do a ton of research for this
Speaker 1: podcast so that we can be correct in our wrongness,
Speaker 1: if that makes sense. And I I discovered that Snapple
Speaker 1: shared similar rumors for Mystic, and I think part of
Speaker 1: that probably just came from the fact that like Mystic
Speaker 1: was the hood Snapple right, Like Snapple wasn't available everywhere,
Speaker 1: but we had Mystic, And so I imagine a bunch
Speaker 1: of like kids in the suburbs were probably also hearing
Speaker 1: the exact same thing about Snapple while you know, other
Speaker 1: kids were hearing about Misstic. Yeah, like we needed our
Speaker 1: our conspiracy, so it was like they're doing it to
Speaker 1: our juice to right, we all oppressed in the game.
Speaker 1: I think I think Snapple, the Snapple of it feels
Speaker 1: more true. I don't know if that makes sense, Like
Speaker 1: it feels more plausible, but also more conspiratorial, if that
Speaker 1: makes sense. Because it was such a big company, Mystic
Speaker 1: feels like a dude cooked it in his bathtub and
Speaker 1: then put it in a bottle. So it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I totally believe that the KKK could have done that,
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I don't know how they
Speaker 1: would have distributed or done all the other the steps
Speaker 1: to really do the thing, to like and like target
Speaker 1: the communities and like. Because it was also advertising, Like
Speaker 1: at some point when Mystic came out, you couldn't go
Speaker 1: to a store, at least around my way. You couldn't
Speaker 1: go to like a Bodego, like a little like Caribbean
Speaker 1: corner store without a Mystic sign or Mystic something in
Speaker 1: the window. So they definitely had strong marketing. It was
Speaker 1: definitely about putting the money behind the marketing. They they
Speaker 1: weren't just putting it in the store. They were doing
Speaker 1: everything they could so that you knew what Mystic was
Speaker 1: and they knew to pick the kool aid colors. They
Speaker 1: knew the colors to attract us, like red, blue, purple,
Speaker 1: just a yellow that doesn't exist in the natural world.
Speaker 1: Put a little quabble in that thing. It was yellow
Speaker 1: a little. I do always love the colors, the associations
Speaker 1: that they put with the colors, where it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is this is neon blue, so we gotta say
Speaker 1: it's blueberry, and it's like, I don't know that you do.
Speaker 1: Blueberries are very dark, sort of like heavy tone colors,
Speaker 1: and this is fucking glowing, bro We don't even we
Speaker 1: need to get into when I ate the fruits that
Speaker 1: I've been drinking since that whole the story, when you
Speaker 1: actually try to guava for the first time, right, and
Speaker 1: I was like, it ain't that color. This don't taste
Speaker 1: like guava at all, like guava at all. I remember
Speaker 1: when I tasted a passion fruit for the first time.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is bullshit, all so much better.
Speaker 1: You're like, wait a minute. The difference between a banana
Speaker 1: flavoring and a banana might be one of the greatest
Speaker 1: differences that can exist in all the world and time.
Speaker 1: I hate banana flavoring, I do too, but I like
Speaker 1: bananas I think it's like one of those really, like
Speaker 1: like it's like something genetic with a banana. Like, you know,
Speaker 1: we eat certain things and like if you have this
Speaker 1: type of the makeup, you taste this. I feel like
Speaker 1: that's what it is with banana fair Like some people
Speaker 1: taste it and it's just like Pugnan, it's just who's
Speaker 1: strong and crazy. Yeah, it's that cilantro ship. Yeah, some
Speaker 1: people are just built to genetically taste bugs and soap
Speaker 1: when they cilantro for you, banana flavoring makes you just
Speaker 1: feel it's disgusted. I don't like anything. I don't either.
Speaker 1: My again, my mom makes weird choices. She wore dschiki
Speaker 1: and red banana drinks. She drinks a banana drinks. She
Speaker 1: ain't the banana now, laters, you can look at those people,
Speaker 1: you know, the banana people. Yeah, you look at your
Speaker 1: like that. I think so. I think it's hard when
Speaker 1: it's your family and you know, you know, I love
Speaker 1: my mom. She's a fantastic person. She's part of the
Speaker 1: inspiration behind this podcast. But she makes some weird choices,
Speaker 1: and uh, you gotta live with those choices sometimes. That's
Speaker 1: I really always think about, Like I would have loved
Speaker 1: to just be a like a fly on the wall
Speaker 1: in the life of like young man. I would you
Speaker 1: know what it was? It was. It was a kid
Speaker 1: who had to because my parents divorced very early. So
Speaker 1: it was a kid who had to pack all his
Speaker 1: clothes and his book bag with his homework every day
Speaker 1: because I was switching houses and ship So I was
Speaker 1: just a kid with like loose underwear in his bag
Speaker 1: and hoping other kids didn't notice, just like the same
Speaker 1: loose underwear every Wednesday, sitting in my bag, hoping no
Speaker 1: kid is going to make fun of me for like
Speaker 1: a black neighborhood. So my mom always and then my
Speaker 1: dad was always in the suburbs, so I had I
Speaker 1: grew up with this very sort of like weird and
Speaker 1: it's part of how I know mystics so well, while
Speaker 1: simultaneously having been a very suburban kids like we were
Speaker 1: in the hood. But I spent most of my days
Speaker 1: playing around with a bunch of suburban kids, and then
Speaker 1: you know, three times a week I would be back
Speaker 1: with my mom somewhere else. So I got a you know,
Speaker 1: a weird duality going right in my head, right, that
Speaker 1: makes sense, That's interesting. In Dorchester. Were you exclusively in
Speaker 1: the hood where you in one of those nicer parts
Speaker 1: of Dorchester. Yeah, I was just I was in the hood,
Speaker 1: but I went to Catholic school, So when I go
Speaker 1: to school, I would just play only at that time
Speaker 1: to other blacks in school at three, it was a
Speaker 1: very small group of us and so like, and I
Speaker 1: didn't go to school in my neighborhood. All the other
Speaker 1: kids went to the local public school. So I was
Speaker 1: kind of like ostracized in my neighborhood because I wasn't
Speaker 1: in school with them all day making friends and all
Speaker 1: my friends were like at my Catholic school, but I
Speaker 1: didn't live anywhere near any of those people. So so
Speaker 1: you're not getting to hang out and really build bonds
Speaker 1: with any with anybody, yeah, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: and getting a little bit bullied everywhere, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. It's a weird thing that like when you
Speaker 1: can't because school is such a formative part of the
Speaker 1: way you socialize and build community, and when you can't
Speaker 1: do all of the parts of school or all of
Speaker 1: the parts of building community, just become the weird kid
Speaker 1: that nobody knows that well, right, because I was bringing
Speaker 1: my Dorchester ship to the Catholic school and they're like,
Speaker 1: what's that? And then I'm coming home in my uniform
Speaker 1: and the kids are making fun of me, like look
Speaker 1: at you gotta dress. You know what I'm saying. We
Speaker 1: get to get where whatever we want to spread all
Speaker 1: that kind of ship, and I'm like a playing to
Speaker 1: my mom and she's just like, you're gonna be better
Speaker 1: for it. And it's just like who gives a ship
Speaker 1: right now? Nah? And none of it's useful anymore anywhere
Speaker 1: we're all inside brow, None of it matters. None of
Speaker 1: the worm just stops. And it's like everything that you
Speaker 1: thought it was important is not And you never needed
Speaker 1: to know how to read. If there's any takeaway from
Speaker 1: this episode, I hope it's that you never needed to
Speaker 1: know how to read a quote from So Maria John
Speaker 1: And here on the podcast, we're gonna take a break.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be back with more, SAMJ and more. My
Speaker 1: mama told me, hell you and we are back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're back here with Morris sam J. More. My mama
Speaker 1: told me she is still talking about these mystic juices,
Speaker 1: these Snapple juices and the KKK that is supposedly behind
Speaker 1: all of it. It's terrifying. Did it scare you? I
Speaker 1: think a little bit. I would, I feel like, honestly,
Speaker 1: and this is probably heavy with Honestly, what I felt
Speaker 1: was just like you already feel so powerless in the
Speaker 1: hood that it's just so easy to believe it, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's just like just another thing
Speaker 1: they're doing to keep me for living, right, There's too
Speaker 1: much ship going on to be like overwhelmed with the fear.
Speaker 1: So you're just like, all right, I'll tack this onto
Speaker 1: my vision board. I guess of stuff that is doing
Speaker 1: to stop being happy, just another whitey move, Like, all right,
Speaker 1: I'll add it. I don't know what to do with it. Okay.
Speaker 1: So I did a bunch of research, and I'm really
Speaker 1: excited to share this research with you, in part because
Speaker 1: it brought me to a very devastating conclusion, and I
Speaker 1: want to run it past you now that that I
Speaker 1: truly believe, I wholeheartedly believe that Snapple is the work
Speaker 1: of white supremacists based on the research that I found.
Speaker 1: I I genuinely truly believe that was rooted in white supremacy.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna walk you through everything that I found, and
Speaker 1: I'm not put off by the fact that Mystic Juices
Speaker 1: might also be a part of that whole thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: so number one, Mystic does not have a website. There's
Speaker 1: no website whatsoever. They have no web site, they have
Speaker 1: no point of contact other than a phone number and
Speaker 1: an address. And the fact that this thing existed for
Speaker 1: decades in our community with no Wikipedia page, no way
Speaker 1: of tracking them on any sort of Internet database, feels
Speaker 1: like some sinister ship that's us. Yes, that's super sussed
Speaker 1: because it's been around for a long time. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: a very long and it's still around. Right, It's not
Speaker 1: like you couldn't find it because they're not making it anymore, right,
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's a scary part. I don't know,
Speaker 1: like you might still be able to get So when
Speaker 1: you look up Mystic on on the internet, it's available
Speaker 1: at like Amazon and Sam's Club, But when you click
Speaker 1: on those availabilities, some of them are like, we're out
Speaker 1: of stock on this, and there's no suggestion that they're
Speaker 1: going to fill it. So it feels like Mystic is
Speaker 1: out of I gotta go to the Bronx exactly. You
Speaker 1: gotta go to like both daga is gonna bronx or
Speaker 1: something to see if it's still have been there, right,
Speaker 1: that's the only way to really know. And my fear
Speaker 1: is that they're this is just surplus that they're like
Speaker 1: unloading in these shops. I was just thinking that too,
Speaker 1: like it just might be residual leftover mystic. Right. So
Speaker 1: also you would also have to look at the date, Yes,
Speaker 1: what date is it? And is it actually the date
Speaker 1: that was written down or is this just like scratched
Speaker 1: off some dudes like a cat in the pin rewrote it.
Speaker 1: This is like real boots to the ground research that
Speaker 1: needs to happen. You really get in the field. We
Speaker 1: need to deploy a team. We need them to come
Speaker 1: back daily with new you know, numbers and quotes. It's
Speaker 1: also probably certain places like you go to light that's
Speaker 1: like the middle of like Mississippi, they might be popping
Speaker 1: with them exactly that I assume they're they're fucking drinking
Speaker 1: that exclusively. They don't have water, they're just drinking mystic,
Speaker 1: just leftover mystic from the mystic factory that appeared coming
Speaker 1: out just right, y'all keep calling this brown water, that's
Speaker 1: orange mystic. Stop saying that, Okay, so Mystic does not
Speaker 1: have a website. But what I did discover is that
Speaker 1: you were correct that the the actual conspiracy theory was
Speaker 1: associated with Snapple. In Snapple was accused of associating with
Speaker 1: not only the KKK, but also something called Operation Rescue,
Speaker 1: which is basically like this pro life group who dedicated
Speaker 1: their lives to saving poor aborted babies from evil pussies. That's,
Speaker 1: you know, a breakdown of what their their home thing was.
Speaker 1: But so Snapple gets associated with them, with the KKK,
Speaker 1: and then lastly, Snapple gets associated with South Africa. People
Speaker 1: start saying that they're secretly brewing their tea in apartheid
Speaker 1: South Africa. Well, and this is going crazy on what
Speaker 1: was then the eight people who had the Internet, the
Speaker 1: one the one dude in a chat room. You're nailing it.
Speaker 1: So whoa. But that's also like you know that my
Speaker 1: grandmother kind of say like, if you keep getting affiliated
Speaker 1: with certain stuff, then it's something you don't you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. That's a lot of accusations to land
Speaker 1: on one absolutely, and here's where it gets even crazier,
Speaker 1: right because I totally agree with that sentiment. If it's
Speaker 1: coming at you from all these different places. You're giving
Speaker 1: off some kind of energy. It may not be true
Speaker 1: that you're specifically associating with the KKK, but you're doing right.
Speaker 1: And part of it was that they said, and you
Speaker 1: know these uh, Snapple was originally made by three Jewish dudes, right,
Speaker 1: So they immediately come out and go, we're three Jewish
Speaker 1: dudes from Brooklyn. What benefit will we have an associal
Speaker 1: sating with the KKK? And then everybody points to their
Speaker 1: original bottle. And when you look at the original bottle
Speaker 1: of snapple, there used to be a ship on the
Speaker 1: original bottle. And the ship people claim was a Blackbird
Speaker 1: ship or one of the ships that was used for
Speaker 1: transferring slaves to America. I believe it. You ain't even
Speaker 1: seen it yet. What does believe have to do with ship? Exactly?
Speaker 1: Te important tea. But what else was they bringing with tea?
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for saying that's how they get you.
Speaker 1: They import some tea and they imported nigked I believe.
Speaker 1: I believe. Okay, so this is a crazier part because
Speaker 1: you just brought up the perfect transition into what ultimately
Speaker 1: is the problem here. They're rebuttal to all of this
Speaker 1: when everybody says that the bottle, because people say that
Speaker 1: the ship on the bottle is in fact a slave ship,
Speaker 1: and they even go so far as to claim that
Speaker 1: they can see little black people in the images of
Speaker 1: the slave ship. And then Snapple says, no, no, fuck that,
Speaker 1: shut your ass up. That's not a slave ship. That
Speaker 1: ship is for the Boston Tea Party that's supposed to
Speaker 1: be said. They tried to make it tea. I knew
Speaker 1: they was gonna try to make it. They tried to
Speaker 1: make a tea. And what's even more fucked up, the
Speaker 1: Boston Tea Party. Ain't not racist, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like that, ain't That's not like the word. That's not
Speaker 1: the affiliation you want to jump to. No, it's like,
Speaker 1: I'm not that kind of racist. I'm this kind of racist.
Speaker 1: You know, white people dressed up as Native Americans throwing
Speaker 1: tea into a river and you know, right, so they're
Speaker 1: doing making making noises. And so ultimately where this lands me,
Speaker 1: as I'm sort of digging through all of this, this
Speaker 1: nitty gritty of them sort of denying racism with more
Speaker 1: secret racism, is that it may me start to think, well,
Speaker 1: how is this not a version of white supremacy, right, Like,
Speaker 1: you're still even as you're feeding me something that supposedly
Speaker 1: is harmless, you're still telling me a truth that comes
Speaker 1: with harm that indoctrinates me in a type of white supremacy.
Speaker 1: And so I'm starting to think what corporation, big company
Speaker 1: exists in the world that isn't associated with white supremacy.
Speaker 1: None exactly. I'm like, like, not a single one private.
Speaker 1: I started digging into how many organizations and companies are
Speaker 1: associated with like private prisons, and there are a ship
Speaker 1: ton It's weirdly the whole thing, right, It's like that's
Speaker 1: how this whole ship is. Unfortunately, and it's way that
Speaker 1: I think it's super like black people are super aware
Speaker 1: of white people are just not like you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. But it's like it's like, bro, I mean,
Speaker 1: not for nothing. And you can name any company in
Speaker 1: America if it's around by a white personally, it is
Speaker 1: white supremacy about book, It's all coming from the same
Speaker 1: white supremacy. Microsoft, Like, it's all coming from the same yes,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: you can't really separate that even though I think white
Speaker 1: minds do. It's like you really can't at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, you know what I mean, Because even
Speaker 1: when I'm looking at this Snapple cover because I said,
Speaker 1: let me find an old one now that because I
Speaker 1: don't think I do think these are just people dressed
Speaker 1: up like Native Americans. But that's bad, it's not okay,
Speaker 1: it's not something to celebrate. And it's certainly and I
Speaker 1: think people have thought these were the slaves, but I
Speaker 1: think they're just people dressed up like Native Americans. Right.
Speaker 1: But and again it just goes back to that point
Speaker 1: that you were just making that like even as white
Speaker 1: people think that they are not part of the problem,
Speaker 1: they're absolutely part of the problem. If the Bill Gates
Speaker 1: Foundation and being like what, we give a billion dollars
Speaker 1: away every year, and it's like, yeah, but bro, you
Speaker 1: steal from so many people, you so many lives. The
Speaker 1: billion dollars doesn't and doesn't have balance. But isn't that
Speaker 1: always like the rich evil guys problem, you know, even
Speaker 1: down to like a Jeffrey Epstein. You know, it's like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be molester Jenkins over here, but I'm I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give I'm gonna give hell of money and donate
Speaker 1: and research, scientific support, scientific research to save the world
Speaker 1: over here, and that allows me to be molested Jenkins
Speaker 1: over here, And it's like, no, it does not, it
Speaker 1: does not allow you to do We're still tracking those molests.
Speaker 1: It's not right, and we don't like, we don't think
Speaker 1: that's good. And none of us are enjoying these molested
Speaker 1: You keep doing, Mr Jenkins. But it's gotta be tough
Speaker 1: for white people too, because they're just being white. I
Speaker 1: think about that sometimes, like they just wake up and
Speaker 1: they're white. Then they go outside, white and the day
Speaker 1: comes to them as it does because of their whiteness,
Speaker 1: and they're like that, and that I do. I agree
Speaker 1: that that is the challenge that ultimately they they lived
Speaker 1: this way their entire lives. If you woke me up
Speaker 1: every day and we're like you, you breathe the wrong,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, what, well, how am I supposed to
Speaker 1: do it? This is the only way I've known my
Speaker 1: entire life. And they're like, nope, you ain't never gonna
Speaker 1: breathe right. It's like, but I want to. I want
Speaker 1: to breathe correctly. And nobody will give you any space
Speaker 1: to figure that ship there's no and there's no way
Speaker 1: to do it, like you've done so much wrong, Like
Speaker 1: you done so much wrong. I think that's the biggest
Speaker 1: challenge of where we are right now is nobody is
Speaker 1: just willing to admit that, like you might just have
Speaker 1: to take an l in like chip, Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: you can't fix it. They The only thing they could
Speaker 1: do is it's like because it's like I always equated
Speaker 1: to like an abusive relationship, right, like like we we
Speaker 1: are the abused white in this situation, and whitey is
Speaker 1: a very bad you know what I'm saying. And the
Speaker 1: only thing that they could do for us now is
Speaker 1: like really have a coming to God moment, you know,
Speaker 1: like they're like a drug alcohol like Irish husband. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like they've got to come to some coming to
Speaker 1: God moment of like I've really been beating this woman
Speaker 1: and just doing her bad if she deserves better, And
Speaker 1: then they need to come in with an envelope with
Speaker 1: some money and they need to say, hey, I set
Speaker 1: you up with a house away from me, and you
Speaker 1: don't never got to see me first class get away
Speaker 1: from me. I'm sorry, that's like the only deleted your
Speaker 1: number from my phone. Feel free to like pack three
Speaker 1: like take give us Georgia, give us like Mississippi, give
Speaker 1: us like three other states around Georgia because we need Atlanta.
Speaker 1: Give us that. Move all little crackers out of there,
Speaker 1: give us some money, and just say this is yours
Speaker 1: and we will not be coming here ever again. You
Speaker 1: don't never got to worry about me again. Make sense
Speaker 1: to me. Cool, motherfucking it all tracks for me, that's
Speaker 1: called motherfucking bars niked. Just let us have Georgia please
Speaker 1: in Mississippi. Just give us some space at some time.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying we won't come back around, and maybe
Speaker 1: we could be friends. We will never be lovers again,
Speaker 1: but we might be able to be We need we
Speaker 1: need a second apart to really get tons and maybe
Speaker 1: you can get to know yourself as well. In all
Speaker 1: of this, I've been saying that we're not even gonna
Speaker 1: learn ourselves, so we get away from me too well.
Speaker 1: And that's and that there's something fascinating in that for me,
Speaker 1: because I do think that so much of the framing
Speaker 1: of white culture is built around their identity in relation
Speaker 1: to other people. Like even the celebration of the Boston
Speaker 1: Tea Party is a celebration of them being derogatory towards
Speaker 1: another group, And it's like, how much of your identity
Speaker 1: can you really dig into? That's just you, that's just
Speaker 1: just rice cakes and and fucking uh whatever whatever is
Speaker 1: that y'all are into, like figure out which I don't
Speaker 1: even think they know. Nobody even knows, you know, it's
Speaker 1: a mystery. And that's the thing. That's why, because we
Speaker 1: were like, we're like generations of being raised in this
Speaker 1: bad relationship and it's like the only thing that will
Speaker 1: help that is like space. I'm just I'm at a
Speaker 1: point where I don't even believe that black people should
Speaker 1: go to therapy because I'm like, if you get your
Speaker 1: ass well, but you're getting beat by men, don't nobody
Speaker 1: tell you, Oh, they get some counsel and girl that
Speaker 1: will help. They tell you get the funk out the house.
Speaker 1: You can do, you can do to counsel. And once
Speaker 1: you're going, we're not in a position to be able
Speaker 1: to decompress and like reflect on a thing yet because
Speaker 1: we're still getting pepper sprayed and fucking burned, right, and
Speaker 1: all the therapy is like when I was in therapy,
Speaker 1: I was in therapy for maybe six months, and I
Speaker 1: was and I had this white lady therapist and that
Speaker 1: was a bad and uh fist. But I'm going through
Speaker 1: the process and I'm realizing, I'm like, my problem is
Speaker 1: white people. That's my problem. If we get down to
Speaker 1: all of the problems, like my emotional state, all of
Speaker 1: that sure is this white oppressor looming over me is
Speaker 1: the issue. So like we need to alleviate that before
Speaker 1: I could even dig into myself. It's not like I
Speaker 1: can figure this out when I'm still gonna go out
Speaker 1: and whatever things i feel I'm lacking or I can't
Speaker 1: even control how to maintenance though, because I'm dealing in
Speaker 1: this like oppression. So it's like, well, what do we
Speaker 1: even do much of the conflation and manipulation of even
Speaker 1: like the things that are happening in the outside world
Speaker 1: right that, Like with the Black Lives Matter movement, all
Speaker 1: they keep saying is like these writers, these people are
Speaker 1: are unruly, They're not following the law. And it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but we did follow the law. We we actively try
Speaker 1: to follow your law. Your law does not work for us.
Speaker 1: And now even in an attempt to politely uh disrupt
Speaker 1: or politely go against the law, you're still pointing out
Speaker 1: the fact that like we ain't following on the rules,
Speaker 1: and it's like, bro, we can't. There's no conversation to
Speaker 1: be had here then, And also you're just lying, like
Speaker 1: just be real things. I would just really rather than
Speaker 1: just be like, we don't give a funk about you
Speaker 1: and just do what we want you to do, because
Speaker 1: that's what we all and that's it, because like you
Speaker 1: don't give a about these rules either because at whatever
Speaker 1: time and convenced, you will change them or just do
Speaker 1: whatever you want and act like they don't apply. So
Speaker 1: it's like this is none of this is real in
Speaker 1: that sense. It's like like I was talking to my
Speaker 1: uncle about the statues coming down and he said such
Speaker 1: a point thing. He was like, first of all, none
Speaker 1: of these statutes were like erected during the war, so
Speaker 1: it's not He's like, this is not history, you know.
Speaker 1: He's like, all of these things were after the war.
Speaker 1: They would put them after the wars to intimidate black
Speaker 1: people in the South, to let them know that those
Speaker 1: types of other people were still in existence and that
Speaker 1: it couldn't act up, he said. And secondly, your name
Speaker 1: me a country that erect statutes to trees and this losers, right,
Speaker 1: it doesn't exist. And I was like that, it was
Speaker 1: like that who Germany doesn't even let you put up
Speaker 1: like a Nazi pin, like they will arrest your site
Speaker 1: if you even kind of associate with that ship. Because
Speaker 1: they were like, no, we lost, we took our el
Speaker 1: and you take out the race stuff their trees and
Speaker 1: this losers. They tried to swim from there get they
Speaker 1: failed and they lost, So why do they mean a statue?
Speaker 1: Why are we remembering? Mostly it was four years. Everybody
Speaker 1: pretends like this confederacy was like decades of like six
Speaker 1: had y'all had like a week and a half of
Speaker 1: fucking trying to do and delusion of and stay delusion.
Speaker 1: And that's another problem, white delusion, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Because I just watched Gone with the Wind for the
Speaker 1: first time and I was like, there's nothing good about
Speaker 1: Wait a minute before you go any further, because this
Speaker 1: brings me to a section that I like to call
Speaker 1: talk that talk, and this is a mom where I'm
Speaker 1: going to enable you. I'm gonna give you thirty seconds
Speaker 1: to just rant and rave about rave it's probably the
Speaker 1: wrong word, but rant about all the evils of gone
Speaker 1: with the wind and the delusions of white people. Are
Speaker 1: you ready? Okay? This was the issue. I didn't even
Speaker 1: have an issue with all the slavery and stuff because
Speaker 1: I knew that was in it. That was that was
Speaker 1: the times. My issue is that this white girl was
Speaker 1: an evil, manipulative little bitch and she never learned her lesson.
Speaker 1: She just stayed manipulated people and trying to get over
Speaker 1: all these men with her tired as pussy and her
Speaker 1: wild with inflation. And then at the end of it all,
Speaker 1: she just goes back to her house like this is
Speaker 1: what I always need. After she had manipulated that man,
Speaker 1: got all his money, treated him like all types of
Speaker 1: ship because she wanted to suck the other man who
Speaker 1: was already with somebody friend at the bitch it still
Speaker 1: kept trying to the bed the bitches on her death, man,
Speaker 1: you're worried about you can suck her man. She was
Speaker 1: an unsatisfiable, just little bit and it was like, how
Speaker 1: did this person become some legendary heroin? And then that's
Speaker 1: why white women out of way they fucking are because
Speaker 1: that's the ship she was looking up to. That is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I just didn't get talk that talk with Sam J.
Speaker 1: Motherfucking boy. I totally agree. I think so much of
Speaker 1: their delusion is rooted in backwards messaging, backwards imagery that
Speaker 1: they have been shown for years that like, you just
Speaker 1: get to play this victim and be sad for yourself
Speaker 1: even as you are oppressing and stealing from the communities
Speaker 1: around you. Fucking wild. But we're gonna take a break
Speaker 1: and we'll be back with more sam J and more.
Speaker 1: My mama told me, are back anyways. Oh yeah, we're
Speaker 1: back with more, sam J. We're back with more, Mama
Speaker 1: told me. We are still talking about that mysterious connection
Speaker 1: between Snapple and Mystic and the KKK and or apartheid
Speaker 1: South Africa. I think that was a part that really
Speaker 1: made me start to feel like, Okay, there's something a
Speaker 1: lot more potentially sinister here is once you start connecting
Speaker 1: like you know, literal you know, apartheid is as close
Speaker 1: to slavery. I think it is in a literal sense
Speaker 1: that we were able to see in our lifetime and
Speaker 1: exactly at least a allowed version of it. I think
Speaker 1: they're slavery everywhere even now. But like that was like
Speaker 1: a noisy version across the country. Yeah, like there's slavery
Speaker 1: like sex slaves obviously this, and like there's probably a
Speaker 1: lot of countries that still suffer with you know, communities
Speaker 1: that are being disenfranchised and manipulated and beaten and all
Speaker 1: that ship. But South Africa was like noisiest funk about it,
Speaker 1: and so it was like, oh damn, if these Snapple
Speaker 1: people figure out a way to take advantage of that,
Speaker 1: they're doing it. Yeah, exactly. Um, normally we play a game,
Speaker 1: we play a U usually a silly game in this
Speaker 1: in this third part of the show. But instead what
Speaker 1: I did was I wanted to track down a contact
Speaker 1: number for Mystic because we were talking about whether or
Speaker 1: not there in the KKK. I figured it's better for
Speaker 1: us to just ask them straight up, what is your
Speaker 1: association with the Clue Klux Klan and uh why? Um?
Speaker 1: So I tracked because they don't have a website and
Speaker 1: all they have is a phone number. I tracked down
Speaker 1: that number, and I thought that we should call them together.
Speaker 1: And so I'm gonna call this number and we're gonna
Speaker 1: see what happens and imre, let's do it. Here we go,
Speaker 1: Are you reach win service? Please leave a message and
Speaker 1: we will get back too as soon as possible. What
Speaker 1: the hell? Or you can also send us an email
Speaker 1: at Winds Service at a o L dot com. Okay,
Speaker 1: I got a lot of questions at the tone. Please
Speaker 1: record your message. When you finished recording, you may hang
Speaker 1: up or press one for more options. Hi. Hello, my
Speaker 1: name is Langston Kerman. I'm falling because I'm a big
Speaker 1: fan of Mystic Juice drinks and I'm here with my
Speaker 1: friend Sam and we just wanted to find out if
Speaker 1: wind Service were We don't know what that is, but
Speaker 1: if you're affiliated with Mystic because if so, we have
Speaker 1: questions about whether or not the KKK is at all
Speaker 1: related to Mystic Juices, you can call us back. I
Speaker 1: don't leaven, I'm not going to leave my number, but
Speaker 1: you know where to find me. Motherfucker going to KKK.
Speaker 1: You know what you did? Just put out an article
Speaker 1: and uh started with their legs and we'll find it.
Speaker 1: I think we did it. It was great. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try one more number and we'll see if this
Speaker 1: one works. And if not, then I don't know what
Speaker 1: we're gonna do. We're gonna decide that they are part
Speaker 1: of the KKK and just live live knowing that. I
Speaker 1: honestly think anybody who doesn't pick up the phone and
Speaker 1: as part of the KKK the number dialed is not
Speaker 1: in service sounds like some KKK ship to me, It
Speaker 1: does like they because they got to move around that
Speaker 1: y'all basically made mystic on a burner phone. You snapped
Speaker 1: your phone in half and threw it into bushes. Um uh,
Speaker 1: now I want to play a game. We're gonna play
Speaker 1: a game real quick. This game is called white Lies. Ugly,
Speaker 1: You're disgusting, I'm gonna kill you. Give me is white lies.
Speaker 1: The way that this game works is I am going
Speaker 1: to introduce to you a pretty widely accepted conspiracy theory
Speaker 1: in the white community. And what I would like for
Speaker 1: you to do is breakdown why white people care about
Speaker 1: this conspiracy theory so much? Why are they so invested
Speaker 1: in this? What is what are they really trying to
Speaker 1: do in committing to this conspiracy theory. One of the
Speaker 1: people that's presently in the news always for some reason
Speaker 1: is Hillary Clinton, and the constant conversation around her is
Speaker 1: a suggestion that Hillary Clinton is a secret murderer. White
Speaker 1: people love to accuse her being a murderer and some
Speaker 1: sort of like weird goat fucking lady, what do you
Speaker 1: think that is? Why do you think white people are
Speaker 1: so obsessed with Hillary Clinton and her murders. I've actually
Speaker 1: been thinking about this a lot lately. I just I think, really,
Speaker 1: I just been thinking about white people in these conspiracy
Speaker 1: theories because a lot are just coming out from them lately,
Speaker 1: which I feel like it's not a normal thing that
Speaker 1: I've seen in the world, these like hotep level ideas
Speaker 1: that they're starting to like tout around um, which is
Speaker 1: something very new to me at least, And I just
Speaker 1: think like it's a full symptom of losing control. I
Speaker 1: just feel like they're just feeling like they're losing and
Speaker 1: they don't know how to explain it at all because
Speaker 1: they've had all the control for all the time, and
Speaker 1: so like just like in the same sense of how
Speaker 1: you have black hole types that are kind of clinging
Speaker 1: to these ideas because they can't explain their reality. It's
Speaker 1: the same ship They're just like clinging to this stuff
Speaker 1: because they can't wrap their heads on how their reality
Speaker 1: got to where it is. Yes, so it's it's I
Speaker 1: can't make sense of why my life stinks, so I
Speaker 1: need to blame it on something impossible outside of myself.
Speaker 1: And I think to your point, if white people had
Speaker 1: to fully accept that, like, oh, your life just sucks
Speaker 1: because you ain't meant to win right way sadder than
Speaker 1: to believe that like, oh, now this lady, there's all
Speaker 1: these forces, or she's murdering and that somehow her murdering
Speaker 1: affects my personal right. That's the crazy part. Like, unless
Speaker 1: Hillary Clinton murders you, you're fine. It doesn't really a
Speaker 1: sexual day to day it doesn't stop anything about your life.
Speaker 1: No one she's murdered has had any detrimental effect. But
Speaker 1: it's the same thing. I'm actually working on something about this,
Speaker 1: but it's the same thing with these black hoteps. Would
Speaker 1: be like everybody gay and they ain't telling you, It's like,
Speaker 1: what does that have to do with you? Even if
Speaker 1: they are gay and they're not telling us, Yes, unless
Speaker 1: they're sucking your specific dick against your will, it kind
Speaker 1: of doesn't matter against your will. I also have to
Speaker 1: be you don't want it. Why in the world of
Speaker 1: making a difference unless they figure out a way to
Speaker 1: make your extremely heteronormative dick hard and then suck it
Speaker 1: without your permission. It pretty much has no effect on
Speaker 1: your life at all. And and so to your in
Speaker 1: their head, the reason why I don't have nothing because
Speaker 1: I won't be gay. Even though no one's asked them,
Speaker 1: You don't know one's said, will you be gay for stuff?
Speaker 1: They're like, They're like, no, they already know I won't.
Speaker 1: They already know I won't be gay stuff. Man, it's
Speaker 1: too scared of my gay. They know the way I'll
Speaker 1: be gay would be too real, it'd be it'd be
Speaker 1: wrong gay. It's such like gay the world's never seen before,
Speaker 1: is what I'm offering. It's like, no, this isn't It's
Speaker 1: just happens that some people are gay and some people
Speaker 1: are not. You're very upset about the way that your
Speaker 1: life turned out. I just watched one and the whole
Speaker 1: thing was just like these neis gay. But it was
Speaker 1: like that was the only conclusion. Was like they all right,
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess and they might be I think.
Speaker 1: And the reality is we live in a society where
Speaker 1: some people do feel uncomfortable sharing their sexuality and that's okay,
Speaker 1: And so it is possible that there are secret gay
Speaker 1: quote unquote secret gays out there. But that's not the
Speaker 1: reason your life sucks, right the same way she could
Speaker 1: be murdering people, she could be an actual murder. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not saying absolutely not. I'm saying I
Speaker 1: don't care. It kind of doesn't affect me. It doesn't.
Speaker 1: I've never once known anyone she's murdered. I've never even
Speaker 1: come across someone who's cried from the murderers. She's committed.
Speaker 1: Unless we find out that like she's been driving through
Speaker 1: the hood and like murdering niggas. I know it's awesome
Speaker 1: contract killing ship, that would be so that idea. If
Speaker 1: Hillary Clinton is the shooter, then it's a different conversation,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, if she's the one
Speaker 1: everybody's calling, like I gotta call my shooting, it's Hillary's right.
Speaker 1: But I think for now we can just assume that
Speaker 1: Hillary Clinton murdering people shouldn't affect your life, and if
Speaker 1: it does, you probably have a shitty and of life
Speaker 1: to begin with. Hell yeah, well, I think we did it.
Speaker 1: I think we we concluded that Mystic and Snapple are
Speaker 1: associated with the KKK, are certainly white supremacy, and I
Speaker 1: think overall we agree that uh we white. He needs
Speaker 1: to let us go free and just leave us alone
Speaker 1: for a while. Ye hell yeah, we fixed everything, fixed everything. Sam,
Speaker 1: Can you tell all the people, uh where they can
Speaker 1: find you and what they should be looking out for.
Speaker 1: You can find me on Twitter or Instagram at sam
Speaker 1: J Comic s A m J A y A comic
Speaker 1: and um, I don't know. I'll just be around and ship.
Speaker 1: Just be around and ship and watch Sam's fucking special.
Speaker 1: It's called Three in the Morning. It's on Netflix. It's
Speaker 1: so goddamn good. What a hilarious comedian. We love her.
Speaker 1: Feel free to follow me at Lengthston Kerman and also
Speaker 1: just follow h just you know, like and subscribe and
Speaker 1: do all the things with the podcast and yeah bye
Speaker 1: true because of me growing babies, I crop chips in
Speaker 1: your babies. Okoala bears are racist. The also player for
Speaker 1: owsty money versions, inventing turkey stuff. I can't tell me