Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to make a negotiation go better by
Speaker 1: asking the other person about a past success. Doing so
Speaker 1: keeps the interaction positive and helps you see new possibilities.
Speaker 1: I'm taking this tip from Alexandra Carter's book Ask for
Speaker 1: More Ten Questions to Negotiate Anything. Carter, a Columbia Law
Speaker 1: School professor, is known for her mediation work. Well, we
Speaker 1: tend the scene negotiations as adversarial. They don't have to be.
Speaker 1: The best outcome is for both people to get results
Speaker 1: that they are happy with. Her book shares ideas for
Speaker 1: how to make that possible. One of my favorite questions
Speaker 1: she suggests asking is how have you handled this successfully
Speaker 1: in the past. In asking this question and of someone else,
Speaker 1: you will open up a window so that you can
Speaker 1: expand your view of the other person and get to
Speaker 1: know more about what has made them successful in the past.
Speaker 1: She says, you'll gather important data about what has worked
Speaker 1: for this person in the past and what might work
Speaker 1: for them and you again in the future. Additionally, and
Speaker 1: asking about a prior success, you'll anchor the other person
Speaker 1: in positive, empowering feelings that research has shown to improve
Speaker 1: the way they will handle their next inner personal interaction
Speaker 1: with you. I bet you can imagine how this question
Speaker 1: can shape a negotiation. Maybe the contractor repaving your driveway
Speaker 1: did a job you're not happy with. Rather than yelling
Speaker 1: or threatening lawsuits or other such crazy things, simply ask
Speaker 1: how his business successfully dealt with a customer issue in
Speaker 1: the past. He's immediately put in a place to feel
Speaker 1: proud of his business, which means he's in a much
Speaker 1: more generous frame of mind for addressing your problem. Or
Speaker 1: maybe you'd like your spouse to help more with chores
Speaker 1: around the house. While stomping around, pouting or breaking dishes
Speaker 1: might feel satisfying, these are not known to achieve results,
Speaker 1: but asking your spouse how he or she successfully reached
Speaker 1: a good division of labor on a work project puts
Speaker 1: everyone in a problem solving mode. What can you all
Speaker 1: learn from this previous satisfactory outcome that can help you now.
Speaker 1: I especially like this approach because it allows the other
Speaker 1: person to offer ideas that you might not have even considered.
Speaker 1: We can spend a lot of time ruminating about what
Speaker 1: needs to happen. But if you haven't faced a situation before,
Speaker 1: you don't know all the possibilities. Some are probably more
Speaker 1: achievable than others. Best to learn from others accumulated wisdom.
Speaker 1: So today, if you find yourself in a negotiation, and
Speaker 1: really life is a negotiation, try asking the other person
Speaker 1: about what's worked in the past. My guess is that
Speaker 1: you are far more are likely to achieve a result
Speaker 1: you can both live with. In the meantime, this is Laura.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of
Speaker 1: our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.
Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.
Speaker 1: Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast Pod that's B the number four, then Breakfast
Speaker 1: p o D. You can also shoot me an email
Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com
Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.
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