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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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Speaker 1: Today's tip is to make a negotiation go better by

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Speaker 1: asking the other person about a past success. Doing so

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Speaker 1: keeps the interaction positive and helps you see new possibilities.

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Speaker 1: I'm taking this tip from Alexandra Carter's book Ask for

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Speaker 1: More Ten Questions to Negotiate Anything. Carter, a Columbia Law

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Speaker 1: School professor, is known for her mediation work. Well, we

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Speaker 1: tend the scene negotiations as adversarial. They don't have to be.

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Speaker 1: The best outcome is for both people to get results

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Speaker 1: that they are happy with. Her book shares ideas for

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Speaker 1: how to make that possible. One of my favorite questions

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Speaker 1: she suggests asking is how have you handled this successfully

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Speaker 1: in the past. In asking this question and of someone else,

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Speaker 1: you will open up a window so that you can

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Speaker 1: expand your view of the other person and get to

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Speaker 1: know more about what has made them successful in the past.

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Speaker 1: She says, you'll gather important data about what has worked

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Speaker 1: for this person in the past and what might work

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Speaker 1: for them and you again in the future. Additionally, and

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Speaker 1: asking about a prior success, you'll anchor the other person

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Speaker 1: in positive, empowering feelings that research has shown to improve

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Speaker 1: the way they will handle their next inner personal interaction

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Speaker 1: with you. I bet you can imagine how this question

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Speaker 1: can shape a negotiation. Maybe the contractor repaving your driveway

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Speaker 1: did a job you're not happy with. Rather than yelling

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Speaker 1: or threatening lawsuits or other such crazy things, simply ask

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Speaker 1: how his business successfully dealt with a customer issue in

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Speaker 1: the past. He's immediately put in a place to feel

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Speaker 1: proud of his business, which means he's in a much

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Speaker 1: more generous frame of mind for addressing your problem. Or

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Speaker 1: maybe you'd like your spouse to help more with chores

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Speaker 1: around the house. While stomping around, pouting or breaking dishes

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Speaker 1: might feel satisfying, these are not known to achieve results,

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Speaker 1: but asking your spouse how he or she successfully reached

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Speaker 1: a good division of labor on a work project puts

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Speaker 1: everyone in a problem solving mode. What can you all

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Speaker 1: learn from this previous satisfactory outcome that can help you now.

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Speaker 1: I especially like this approach because it allows the other

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Speaker 1: person to offer ideas that you might not have even considered.

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Speaker 1: We can spend a lot of time ruminating about what

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Speaker 1: needs to happen. But if you haven't faced a situation before,

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Speaker 1: you don't know all the possibilities. Some are probably more

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Speaker 1: achievable than others. Best to learn from others accumulated wisdom.

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Speaker 1: So today, if you find yourself in a negotiation, and

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Speaker 1: really life is a negotiation, try asking the other person

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Speaker 1: about what's worked in the past. My guess is that

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Speaker 1: you are far more are likely to achieve a result

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Speaker 1: you can both live with. In the meantime, this is Laura.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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Speaker 1: our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

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Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

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Speaker 1: Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at

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Speaker 1: Before Breakfast Pod that's B the number four, then Breakfast

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Speaker 1: p o D. You can also shoot me an email

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Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com

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Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

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Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.

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Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. For

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Speaker 1: more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i heart

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Speaker 1: favorite Chess