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Speaker 1: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome back to the bob Weft That's Podcast.

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Speaker 1: My guest this week is the one and only Jackie Barton.

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Speaker 1: But guest Jackie, that joke fan, Jackie? How you doing?

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Speaker 1: I'm all right now, But last week I was in

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Speaker 1: rough shape? You know? Oh really, Ron, what was it

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Speaker 1: like last week? I don't know. I don't know. No,

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Speaker 1: I actually, uh, the world is coming to an end

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Speaker 1: and the epidemic is completely out of control. The President

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Speaker 1: is the worst piece of ship I could ever, ever,

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Speaker 1: ever imagine. But I live on the water. I actually

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Speaker 1: went swimming again yesterday on November tenth or whatever it was,

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Speaker 1: and I got a beautiful girlfriend and I haven't missed

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Speaker 1: the meal. The only my only complaint is that I'm

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Speaker 1: gaining weight because there's nothing to do except eat, because

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Speaker 1: I masturbating. I think, Now, don't you live in Long Island.

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Speaker 1: I live right on Long Island Sound Long Islands. And

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Speaker 1: you went in the water, yes, and it was it

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Speaker 1: was cold, but it was fine. It was cold, but

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Speaker 1: it was fine. What was your motivation? I mean, it's

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Speaker 1: not quite January first for Polar Bear Day. No, you

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Speaker 1: know what, every year you start jumping in the water

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Speaker 1: like in you know, the middle of May and the

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Speaker 1: May beginning of June, and it's very cold, but you

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Speaker 1: jump in because then with each passing week it gets

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Speaker 1: warmer and warmer and warmer. And the truth of it

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Speaker 1: is a long island sound is a huge body of

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Speaker 1: water sort of holds holds the heat for a long time.

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Speaker 1: I mean it was it was cold, but it was cold,

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Speaker 1: just like it's cold in the beginning of June, you know.

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Speaker 1: I mean I didn't really swim. I usually swim, but

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Speaker 1: it was just a little too cold on my hands.

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Speaker 1: So I just jumped in and thrashed around a little bit, uh,

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Speaker 1: for the fun of it, because I mean, there's nothing

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Speaker 1: like it. It just jumps, jumps, start your body and

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Speaker 1: you come out. I have a nice outdoor shower, and uh,

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Speaker 1: it's just reset your clock. It's just something fun to do.

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Speaker 1: It's also something fun to talk about. What else am

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Speaker 1: I gonna do? If it's middle of November? Are you

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Speaker 1: done with the sound until May? Are we gonna see

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Speaker 1: you in the Sune? No? No, you know, but it's funny.

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Speaker 1: I got an next door neighbor, Phyllis, who's delightful. It

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Speaker 1: fills some bill and every time she goes in. Of course,

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Speaker 1: somebody called me today and said, I guess who was

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Speaker 1: in the water this morning. I'm like, leave me alone.

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Speaker 1: You know. It's like almost like a pan match, you know.

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Speaker 1: But I don't really care, you know, I just I

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Speaker 1: just if I feel like it. If the sun's out

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Speaker 1: and it's bright, you jump in, and when you jump

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Speaker 1: out it's it's warm. Even if it's not warm out,

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Speaker 1: the sun is just a miracle worker. You know. You

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Speaker 1: have to live on you know, people that live on

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Speaker 1: the water understand that it's it sounds silly, but it

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Speaker 1: really isn't you know, it's really it's quite delightful. Now.

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Speaker 1: That begs the question if you live on the sound.

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Speaker 1: I know. I grew up in Connecticut, a couple of

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Speaker 1: months directly across at Stanford. Okay. The question is, though

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Speaker 1: frequently you have situations where there is a storm and

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Speaker 1: then the water comes up into your house. What happens?

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Speaker 1: There're not here. I live in Bayville on the north

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Speaker 1: shore of Long Island, and Bayville is a bowl. It's

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Speaker 1: actually a bowl, and I live at the top of

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Speaker 1: the bowl. It's funny. I'm here and then two doors

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Speaker 1: down from me is my ex wife's house and then

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Speaker 1: her other house, and uh, in Sandy I got no water,

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Speaker 1: just like a half inch of water. I had to

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Speaker 1: throw away my basement rugs. But I I'm so high

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Speaker 1: up that I even had the bulls to have a

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Speaker 1: rug in the basement. I got an inch of water

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Speaker 1: hundred and fifty two d feet down the street. My

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Speaker 1: ex wife got four ft in each of our houses.

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Speaker 1: Because it's a bowl, and it's it's elusive how it

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Speaker 1: how it's shape, but it's a it's amazing. But you know,

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Speaker 1: you never know what's gonna happen. You know, in Sandy Um,

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Speaker 1: we were waiting for the second high tide and we

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Speaker 1: thought we're gonna be wiped out. And the wind shifted

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Speaker 1: and we hardly lost a branch off a tree. And

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Speaker 1: if the wind hadn't a shift that, you know, at

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Speaker 1: the second high tide, we expected to get wiped out.

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Speaker 1: And I was over at my friend's house. He lives

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Speaker 1: in a big, huge, you know mansion up on the hill,

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Speaker 1: and we're waiting for that second high tide and it's

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Speaker 1: just it was like y two k. You know, it

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Speaker 1: just never happened. And if the wind down the shifted.

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Speaker 1: We're going the way a rockaway which was flattened. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's all, you know, it's all. It's all a roll

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Speaker 1: of the dice, no matter what you're talking about, it's

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Speaker 1: all a damn roll of the dice, you know. Okay,

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Speaker 1: how many times you've been married? Well, this ex wife,

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Speaker 1: you've been divorced from her for how long? What do

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Speaker 1: you mean? How many times have I been married? I've

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Speaker 1: been married. I was married to Nancy once and we

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Speaker 1: last that we're married fourteen years. But we got married,

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Speaker 1: we lived together for seven years, and then we got married,

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Speaker 1: and then we got divorced. So we made it together

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Speaker 1: a total like a little over twenty years. But she

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Speaker 1: lives two doors away, and her and her boyfriend are

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend and mine's best friends. And we eat dinner

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Speaker 1: together and have you know, eat meals at each other's houses.

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Speaker 1: And she's just a wonderful, wonderful girl. I think I

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Speaker 1: think my girlfriend actually likes her more than she likes me.

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Speaker 1: And I'm still a little I'm still in love with

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Speaker 1: every girl I haven't dated. Okay, but why did you

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Speaker 1: get a divorce then? Because we would have killed each other.

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Speaker 1: You know, there was a lot of a lot of

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Speaker 1: personal stuff, a lot of you know, it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: it was in my book. You know, we tried, uh

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Speaker 1: we couldn't have a baby. So we did in vitro fertilization,

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Speaker 1: long before anybody really knew what it was. And and

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Speaker 1: Howard was anti you know, science for having babies. So

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Speaker 1: not only was it an incredibly pressurized situation where I

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Speaker 1: had to sneak around and we were just getting to

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Speaker 1: be really well known, but we failed six times, and

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Speaker 1: there was if you know, anybody's ever been through it,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing more heart wrenching in the world. And this

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Speaker 1: is the early nineties, this is long before there were

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Speaker 1: chat rooms and emails and people he could commiserate with.

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Speaker 1: You know, misery loves company. You know, if you go

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Speaker 1: through the worst thing in the world, but there's another

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Speaker 1: couple or another person or somebody just bounce off of,

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Speaker 1: it just changes the whole, uh, the whole situation. And

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Speaker 1: it was you know, so that did a lot of damage.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you know, lots of reasons. You know, two

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Speaker 1: strong personalities, and you know, we were very good friends

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Speaker 1: for years, and then she came to work with me

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Speaker 1: and we worked together and then we couldn't not fuck,

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Speaker 1: so we slept together and then we were partners, and

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Speaker 1: then we lived together, and then we got married. So

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Speaker 1: we kind of were on a sign curve and now

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Speaker 1: we're back to being friends and it's all, uh, it's

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Speaker 1: all wonderful. That begs a question you said earlier, is

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Speaker 1: still in love with all your old girlfriends? Have you

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Speaker 1: looked them all up online? If you made any contact?

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Speaker 1: You know, it really is funny you wind up circling back.

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Speaker 1: I mean I had circled back. You know, a lot

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Speaker 1: of girls I went back and revisited and found and

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Speaker 1: uh it was so much fun. Um But yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it's fun to be in contact with

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Speaker 1: people and I talked to them and you know, some

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Speaker 1: from long ago, something from not that long ago. But

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Speaker 1: it's I think it's just fascinating. It's so fascinating. What's

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Speaker 1: really fascinating is when you get on the phone with

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Speaker 1: an old friend. It it's still never fails to astound

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Speaker 1: me how you instantly are there if it's somebody you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean I I shared a lot of laughs and

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Speaker 1: a lot of closeness with a lot of people. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't really in passing like, you know, we would dig

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Speaker 1: in and uh, two minutes on the phone. It's like

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Speaker 1: the years just are not there. You know. Time time

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Speaker 1: is the most incredible thing. I can remember so much

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Speaker 1: of everything that happened. My first two years in comedy

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Speaker 1: and the next thirty eight years are blur. I know nothing,

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Speaker 1: but I can tell you everything that happened because in

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Speaker 1: those formative years. You know, it's just like I don't

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Speaker 1: know how how old you I'm okay, so you probably

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Speaker 1: know somebody says, how Jackie, when's the last time you

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Speaker 1: saw Bob Oh? I just I saw him five years ago,

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Speaker 1: and like, yah know it's amazing. It's a little it's

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Speaker 1: a little scary, you know. And I'm like when somebody says,

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Speaker 1: I said, wow, that's not for a long time. No,

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Speaker 1: it was a long time ago. You know, you know,

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Speaker 1: I ain't. Being stupid doesn't help either, Okay, we all

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Speaker 1: are victims of that. But you know, when you there

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Speaker 1: are a lot of stories about reconnecting with old girlfriends,

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Speaker 1: were rekindled some romance. Did you have any of that experience?

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Speaker 1: Maybe you they wanted it and you didn't, or maybe

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Speaker 1: you didn't. They didn't know because because I uh I

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Speaker 1: was married and uh, and there's so many girls around here. Um,

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Speaker 1: there were no real romances that I would have wanted

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Speaker 1: to really revisit. I got so many stories of friends

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Speaker 1: that that's such interesting, you know, interesting interesting things that

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Speaker 1: happened for good or for bad or whatever. But no,

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Speaker 1: it was never like an unrequirded love where all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, I'm single and she's single and wow, let's

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Speaker 1: put this back together. And not immediately. You know, I

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Speaker 1: didn't really have girlfriends, you know. Nancy was the first

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Speaker 1: time I was really serious with somebody. I was so

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Speaker 1: busy rocking and rolling and drinking and smoking pot and

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Speaker 1: being plenty screwed up and just partying and trying to

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Speaker 1: avoid growing up. You know. I I got my first

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Speaker 1: paycheck from the Holage Starn Show when I was like

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Speaker 1: thirty eight, you know what I mean. Like I had

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Speaker 1: a I let h not too charming a life, you know,

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Speaker 1: pretty crazy. It wasn't like, well, I had a girlfriend

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Speaker 1: and we lived, you know, I mean I lived together

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Speaker 1: with a girl in college, uh, for two right after college,

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Speaker 1: for two years, just long enough to make me realize that, wow,

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Speaker 1: I am not ready for this, you know, and I'm

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Speaker 1: still in touch with her. You know, she lives up

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Speaker 1: in Provincetown, and you know, God, you know, and I

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Speaker 1: just to this day if I see an old letter

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Speaker 1: from her and I see her handwriting, I get warm

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Speaker 1: and I know that sound. You know, I don't like

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Speaker 1: to talk about make it sound like I'm so funn No, no,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't. One of the problems with people, as I said,

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Speaker 1: you know, you see this all the time of celebrities. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I got divorced, I'm over it. It takes forever to

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Speaker 1: get over it. But but but the who wants to

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Speaker 1: be unless somebody has hurt you and done crappy things too.

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Speaker 1: And it's amazing how you can usually write that off

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Speaker 1: for you know, you can remember your life the way

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Speaker 1: you choose. You can remember an incident and told by

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Speaker 1: one of my friends it was one way, and told

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Speaker 1: by another of my friends the other way. You know.

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Speaker 1: I remember at night in late George when the engine

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Speaker 1: conked out on the boat and we had the paddle

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Speaker 1: with the with the water skis, and it was dark

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Speaker 1: and we couldn't see anything, and it was it was

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Speaker 1: two hours of absolute hell. And I remember saying, I

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Speaker 1: can't believe then a month from now, we're gonna be

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Speaker 1: talking about what a great time this one. And I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you it was a great time that it was horrible.

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Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, how many times you have a song

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Speaker 1: on the radio and you go, oh, man, remember this one.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, wait a minute, I hated that fucking song.

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Speaker 1: You know it's there's not can't listen to? Which is

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Speaker 1: Bobby Goldsboro? Honey that I hated it? Then I hate

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Speaker 1: it now that guy I did he something happened with

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Speaker 1: him on the Tonight show that you know what it's

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Speaker 1: gotta be. It's gotta be on YouTube by now. You know,

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Speaker 1: anything you talk about sometimes you go looking for it

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Speaker 1: and you can't find it, But six months later you can.

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Speaker 1: You know, I got a very good friend. Were you

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Speaker 1: a fan of the Start Show? Yes, but we'll be honest,

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Speaker 1: you know you eventually I've been living on the West Coast,

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Speaker 1: and eventually when he came to the West Coast, he

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Speaker 1: was early morning. I'm a late riser at the time.

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Speaker 1: I was right. Uh. The reason I'm asking is, do

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Speaker 1: you remember a thing called the jetty actually that they

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Speaker 1: they used to break my balls about? What was the

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Speaker 1: float that that was outside my house here in Bayville,

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Speaker 1: and uh, and it was very very famous on the show,

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Speaker 1: you know, uh, because Howard broke my balls about it.

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Speaker 1: But people came over my house and we get drunk

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Speaker 1: and eat lobsters and swim out to the jetty and

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Speaker 1: it was great fun. And uh. But it was built

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Speaker 1: by Bruce Springsteen's first manager, and from them when I

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Speaker 1: said that. When I said that, uh on the show,

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Speaker 1: Gary said, who wasn't I told him it was. He says,

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Speaker 1: I'll know you out of yourman. It was a guy

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Speaker 1: named Mike Capell. And at the time, Mike Apell was

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Speaker 1: on the Internet, which had just started, and that was

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Speaker 1: Bruce Springsteen's first manager. But as time went on, the

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Speaker 1: Internet fills in and it's like back times. It's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, the the Encyclopedia Britannica goes from one leaflet

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Speaker 1: to volumes, and all of a sudden, here's this guy,

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Speaker 1: Carl Tinker West. And he was a good friend of

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Speaker 1: a friend. He was a rocket scientist and a madman.

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Speaker 1: He's still a dear friend. He's like eighty eight years old,

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Speaker 1: and he he built the float. But here I am saying,

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Speaker 1: you know, it was built by Bruce Springsteen's first manager,

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Speaker 1: and they're saying you're crazy, And it turned out that

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Speaker 1: I wasn't crazy at all, but it took time to

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Speaker 1: fill in. But this thing with goldsborow he was on

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Speaker 1: the Tonight Show and Bill Cosby was hosting, and Richard

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Speaker 1: Pryor was on first, and then Bobby Goldsboro come out.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure he sang that so long, honey, because I

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Speaker 1: think that's the only thing he ever sang. But he's

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Speaker 1: a good old boy from like North Carolina or South Carolina.

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Speaker 1: He came and he sat down and prior moved over,

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Speaker 1: so his Cosby and Bobby Goldsborough and Richard Prayer and

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Speaker 1: he somehow he's talking about, Yeah, I'm from North Carolina

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Speaker 1: and what it's like, and then he says, you know, sometimes, uh,

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Speaker 1: it could be really scary there because whenever there was

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Speaker 1: a fire up in the woods, all the coons would

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Speaker 1: come running down from the woods and they were and

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Speaker 1: he said the word coons and realized he's a Southern guy,

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Speaker 1: and he realized he was sitting between two black guys,

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Speaker 1: and he started giggling, and it was so fucking uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: and Richard Pryor looked over Bill Cosby and said, well,

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Speaker 1: are you gonna kill this guy or mine? And when

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Speaker 1: they came back from commercial, there was no Bobby Goldsboro.

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Speaker 1: And I've been telling the story for fifty years and

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Speaker 1: I still have to find somebody who saw it or

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Speaker 1: knows about it. But I haven't googled it in like

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Speaker 1: ten years, so I'm sure it's in there somewhere, because

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Speaker 1: I couldn't make that story up. It was, it was,

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Speaker 1: and he wasn't doing it. He wasn't doing it to

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Speaker 1: be racist. What was racist was after he said it,

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Speaker 1: he heard it and he made that connection. It was.

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Speaker 1: It was very odd, very very fucking odd. But that

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Speaker 1: that that is a tough song. That is the tough

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Speaker 1: But I'm sure if I heard it, I go remember

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Speaker 1: this one. Okay, let's come back. You're talking about the

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Speaker 1: Bruce Springsteen's first manager. Are you ever wrong? Um? Sometimes

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Speaker 1: sometimes you know, it's it's funny. Sometimes it can be

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Speaker 1: a detail that you absolutely remember and you're absolutely wrong,

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Speaker 1: but not about a whole event, but like about this

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Speaker 1: thing and that thing. You know. It's like there was

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Speaker 1: a show called Andy's Gang in the yearly fifties and

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Speaker 1: and right, and I used to tell people what it wasn't.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't Andy's gang before Andy's gang, it was uncle

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Speaker 1: Ed's gang. And I remember the uncle Ed's gang so clearly,

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Speaker 1: so clearly, and I'd argue with people, and finally it

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Speaker 1: came on the web and I looked and it wasn't

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Speaker 1: uncle Ed's gang. It was Smiling Ed's gang. And the

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Speaker 1: minute I saw it, I was like, yeah, but in

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Speaker 1: my mind I saw uncle Ed's gang on the TV screen,

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Speaker 1: so that, you know, I mean, that's a very small detail.

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Speaker 1: But it's funny how your mind plays tricks. But when

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Speaker 1: I say to this day, I was like, he was

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Speaker 1: the new guy. People like, you're ready mine. No, Andy

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Speaker 1: was the fucking newgat. I hated. I love Crusado Rabbit,

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Speaker 1: but they went in to Andy Divine. I hated it.

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Speaker 1: Do you like and I didn't. I didn't. I didn't

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Speaker 1: watch Carsade to Arrive and I wasn't a big you know,

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Speaker 1: I it's so weird what you liked, you know. I

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Speaker 1: read Superman. Uh, I wasn't anyways near as big a

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Speaker 1: Batman fan as Superman, but the rest of them kind

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Speaker 1: of left me cold. I read Aquaman and super Boy,

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Speaker 1: but when they got wacky. I think, you know, the

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Speaker 1: Marvel comics that was not my thing. But here I'm

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Speaker 1: reading Superman and Batman. But I was a huge fan

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Speaker 1: of Archie and Betty and Veronica. You know, they just

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Speaker 1: had me. They just had me, and I love that.

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Speaker 1: And I never thought in terms of it being weird,

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Speaker 1: but that if anybody ever saw my comic book collection,

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Speaker 1: they would say, what planet is this guy from? You know, Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's go back to being right. We know that there

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Speaker 1: are a lot of dummies and uninformed people in society.

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Speaker 1: What I've learned going to psychotherapy is sometimes I gotta

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Speaker 1: let it slide because it ends up reflecting. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I may be right, but they dislike it. Can you

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Speaker 1: let shi slide? Or if someone gets it wrong, you

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Speaker 1: gotta let them know. No, you know, depending what you're

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Speaker 1: talking about. You know, you get old enough, you don't

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Speaker 1: you know, you don't care? You know, how much of

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Speaker 1: my life am I gonna waste? You know? Like like

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Speaker 1: I did a roast last night, and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: I got the vibe that, holy sh it that you

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Speaker 1: know a couple of these guys and girls whatever the

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Speaker 1: Trump people, I wasn't gonna address it. I just want

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna address it had nothing to do with the comedy,

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with what we're doing. But you know,

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Speaker 1: I guess if I, if I had a heart, you know,

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Speaker 1: or at any conviction, I would have jumped in and

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Speaker 1: tried to you know, sway the boat. But now you know,

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Speaker 1: like at what point you know, I'm you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm not a confrontational type guy. I'm really not. What

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Speaker 1: sounds funny because people thought I was so confrontational with

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Speaker 1: Howard on the show. But I you don't have to

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Speaker 1: be a confrontational type person to not put up with bullying.

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Speaker 1: It's a whole different thing, you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't get I don't care if you're

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Speaker 1: for the mets of the Yankees, you know, but it

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Speaker 1: don't don't tell my my cousin he's an assholet because

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Speaker 1: he likes the Yankees, you know. Okay, So, now in

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Speaker 1: your eighth decade, what have you learned? Because because I know,

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Speaker 1: but as we get older, as we get older, we

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Speaker 1: learned something. Listen, I'm in my seventh decade. I'm just

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00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,879
Speaker 1: to have entre two behind you. What have you learned?

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Speaker 1: Because as you get older, you do get you do

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Speaker 1: tend to get happier, and you do tend to get wiser. Uh,

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Speaker 1: never waste the heart on, never pass the bathroom, never

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Speaker 1: trust the fart. Those are the three things that people

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Speaker 1: used to always say, and I never understood what they

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Speaker 1: were talking about. And now it's the fun gospel. Well

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Speaker 1: that begs a question. Do you annything begs the question?

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Speaker 1: You need a couple of new phrases. That makes me

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Speaker 1: want to ask a question. You know what that that

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00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,399
Speaker 1: brings something to mind? Begs a question. You sound like

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Speaker 1: a fucking British politician. Okay, stress it. Do you go?

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Speaker 1: Do you take any anti pee medication? No? No, no,

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Speaker 1: no no no. Can you sit through a movie? You

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Speaker 1: mean you mean you mean, uh, to make it through

365
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Speaker 1: the night or something? No. I get up and pee plenty,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes I don't. Uh. Usually I'm fine, uh with

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Speaker 1: the movie. I'll sit there and I know there's gonna

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Speaker 1: be fourteen commercials I mean fourth incoming attractions, And when

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Speaker 1: I know it's getting close, I zoom to the bathroom

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Speaker 1: and take my quick leak and zoom back. You know,

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Speaker 1: I have no pride about that. I have And Pete

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00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,680
Speaker 1: in a popcorn box yet. But it's been a long

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Speaker 1: you know, very rarely where you sit there in agony. Um.

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Speaker 1: But I don't. I don't take any of that stuff,

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Speaker 1: you know, to make you get when I wonder, would

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Speaker 1: it have been like the early nineties or something. Nancy

377
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,439
Speaker 1: and I had moved up to our bedroom, was in

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Speaker 1: our attic, you know, we finished the attic, and all

379
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Speaker 1: of a sudden I started getting up in the middle

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Speaker 1: of night to pee, and I said, Holy Christ, my

381
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Speaker 1: life is over. And I was getting up like twice

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Speaker 1: a night to pee. And I hadn't changed, you know,

383
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Speaker 1: it didn't change my diet. I didn't have. It was

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Speaker 1: the same getting up in the morning. And I thought,

385
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Speaker 1: I am so screwed. And as quick as it happened,

386
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Speaker 1: it just stopped and it never happened again. And I

387
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 1: was like, what kind of god is that that? You know,

388
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Speaker 1: I really thought that it was the end of the world.

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Speaker 1: I thought I was done, you know, And but no,

390
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Speaker 1: you know so but now, you know, I get up

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Speaker 1: a bunch of times, you know, it was sometimes sometimes

392
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Speaker 1: not so much, but it's built in, you know. I

393
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 1: get up and a nasty taste in my mouth, so

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Speaker 1: I get up and I brushed my teeth, and I

395
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Speaker 1: take a pee and I kicked the cat. It's just

396
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: part of it, you know, instead of instead of all crap,

397
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Speaker 1: I gotta get up, it's oh, I get to go

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Speaker 1: back to bed. And I spent a lot of years

399
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Speaker 1: where I didn't get to go back to bed. To

400
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Speaker 1: this day, it's twenty years later, I'm still like, look

401
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 1: at that fucking pillow just waiting for me. Fuck everybody

402
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,160
Speaker 1: look at this, you know, you know, but when somebody

403
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:33,359
Speaker 1: says you do you regret leaving the Stern show, I

404
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 1: don't look at my bank book. I look at my

405
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Speaker 1: pillow and go you know what, you know it was

406
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,679
Speaker 1: it was it was a toss up, you know. So

407
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 1: what what time do you get up? Now? Whenever? I

408
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 1: fucking all fit? You know, sometimes seven, sometimes as in

409
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Speaker 1: the summer. In the summer, I'm usually you know, up

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Speaker 1: at seven and go for a really nice, nice long

411
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Speaker 1: swim and then come back and I'm in bed with

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend and we have tea and you know, watching

413
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Speaker 1: TV and then at breakfast, you know, but otherwise it's uh,

414
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Speaker 1: you know, it's it's it's more about when she wakes up,

415
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 1: you know, she wakes up. She brings us up a

416
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 1: couple of cups of tea, you know, one or two

417
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 1: and uh, but there's no there's no pressure, you know,

418
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 1: never any pressure, you know, once in a blue moon.

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00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: You know, I haven't done in a while, spentional. I

420
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 1: don't even been to my city apartment since the COVID.

421
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,440
Speaker 1: But it's so funny because once in a while I

422
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: would do a Q one oh four with Jim Kerr,

423
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 1: the morning show, all the way down in the A,

424
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 1: T and T Building, and you know, i'd be on

425
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,160
Speaker 1: with him at like six, so i'd have to get

426
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:48,160
Speaker 1: up at six or quarter to six, and just getting

427
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 1: up one day at quarter six, I'd be like, holy fuck,

428
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 1: and forget quarter to six. I had to be in

429
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 1: my chair in Manhattan at six o'clock living here in Bayville.

430
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 1: You know, I got up at twenty twenty after four

431
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 1: or you know, it's so funny. I got up at

432
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:07,919
Speaker 1: four fifteen years and all of a sudden the other

433
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: day somebody goes, yeah, I can't believe you used to

434
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 1: get up at four twenty. I never made the connection

435
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 1: of four twenty before. And I was like, and they

436
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 1: thought I was kidding. They said, oh, you're foolish. I

437
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 1: didn't no, no, I never thought about before. You know,

438
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: how did you meet your girlfriend that you have now? Um,

439
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:31,679
Speaker 1: it's so weird because we worked in parallel. But she

440
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 1: was a singer on Long Island in different bands for

441
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 1: thirty years or something, and then she started working with Omnipop,

442
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: which is a booking a talent agency on the south

443
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 1: shore Long Island. So we've been in the same industry forever.

444
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 1: And I was headlining at a club here on Long

445
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 1: Island called the Brokerage, and Omnipop has a division that's

446
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 1: in California, and they have this act that you who's

447
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 1: coming on strong She's kick an ask like crazy. So

448
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 1: this is like five or six years ago. But her

449
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 1: name was is Erika Rhodes and her her aunt is

450
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,400
Speaker 1: married to Garrison Keeley. I'm sure you know that name.

451
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 1: And so she was opening up for me and she

452
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 1: was coming in from California, so somebody from Omnipop had

453
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 1: to pick her up at the train station and bring

454
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,719
Speaker 1: her to the show. And Barbara brought her to the

455
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:30,159
Speaker 1: show and said, for whatever reason, said you know, so

456
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 1: I'll go in, you know, and it was it's just

457
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 1: you know that you look back and say, it's so weird.

458
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 1: But it's not weird because if it hadn't happened, you

459
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 1: wouldn't be asking me this question. But you know, there's

460
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 1: nobody in the bar because the showroom is packed, and

461
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 1: I'm standing at the bar and no, she was standing

462
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,360
Speaker 1: at the bar and I came walking to the bar

463
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 1: and he was just very pretty blonde standing at the bar.

464
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 1: And I walked up and said who are you? And

465
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: she said, I'm Barbara And I said, wow, you know

466
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 1: you're married. At the time, I'm single. You know, I

467
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: would wasn't dating anybody or anything, you know, nothing serious

468
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: going on. And I said, you know, I'm a forward jerk.

469
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 1: You know, the same old guys that are you married?

470
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: She said, Now, I said, you've got a boyfriend. She

471
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 1: said no. I said, well, then we got to take

472
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 1: a picture. And we took a picture. And I said,

473
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 1: now you gotta give me your email dress so I

474
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: could send you the picture or you sit or your

475
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 1: cell phone or whatever. And then I spent I sent

476
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 1: up the picture and spent the next month or so

477
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 1: trying to talk her and to go on date with me, because,

478
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 1: as you know, as my reputation filled in behind me

479
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 1: and then by too long a story to explain, I

480
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,359
Speaker 1: went up with four of the best seats in the

481
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 1: house to a Willie Nelson concert way up in Simsbury, Connecticut,

482
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 1: and I said, do you want to go to see

483
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: Willie Nelson in Connecticut? It was like a three hour drive,

484
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 1: so she took a chance. And when he drove to

485
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,440
Speaker 1: see William, by the time we got back the relationship,

486
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,879
Speaker 1: you know, and she's and she's great, she's you know,

487
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,639
Speaker 1: she's you know, she's the exact opposite of me. And

488
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: she's so gentle and so neat and so clean and

489
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 1: uh but she's great, you know. And you know she's

490
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,919
Speaker 1: kept me alive. Okay. Are you always so forward in

491
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 1: every walk of life? You have any social anxiety or

492
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 1: no matter who's there, you don't get up tight. You'll

493
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: say what you need to. You know. I would love

494
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: to say yes, I don't, but I'm oh, I'm completely uptight,

495
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 1: completely uptight. But I just pushed past it, you know,

496
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 1: and and I love it, you know. I I spent

497
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 1: you know, eight years at the cann Film Festival and

498
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:34,919
Speaker 1: Sundance and Toronto, and you know, I I'll walk up

499
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 1: to anybody I don't care, and I and I expect

500
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 1: the same. I expect people to feel free to walk

501
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: up to me, and they usually do that because they

502
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 1: they say, you just seem approachable, and I am, you know,

503
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm certainly approachable. Now, I'm just a little

504
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: old man. But when there was a time when I

505
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 1: wasn't really famous, but I was known, you know, and uh,

506
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 1: people can tell you know, it's it's like with a horse,

507
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,879
Speaker 1: the odds, the odd thing, and that I'm not petrified

508
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 1: at horses, but I don't. I can't believe that something

509
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,440
Speaker 1: that big is that trust you can trust that that much.

510
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think anytime I've been a little terrified

511
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 1: of walking up to a girl, I've I've done it,

512
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,360
Speaker 1: you know, just whatever. I'm not saying. I didn't get

513
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 1: shut down a zillion times, but you know, well, you know,

514
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,400
Speaker 1: you really have nothing to lose, you know, it's easy

515
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 1: to say that, and then you know, there must have

516
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: been a million times where I just slinked away. I

517
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 1: just don't choose to remember that, you know. Okay, So

518
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: what kind of kid were you growing up? Were you

519
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 1: the life of the party, were you an outsider? M

520
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: I was raised by wolves. Uh, but not really. We

521
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 1: were like the Waltons until say, seventh grade, and then

522
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: my father was drinking way too much. Let's go back,

523
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: what did you What did your father and mother do

524
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: for a living? Uh? My mother was brilliant, but she

525
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 1: dropped out of the workforce to get married in and um,

526
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 1: you know, she got knocked up. My parents got married

527
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 1: on July four and I was born on Valentine's Day,

528
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 1: you know, do the math. And my father was a

529
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,640
Speaker 1: good looking guy, came out of the service and he

530
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 1: didn't get married. He was thirty five, she was twenty seven.

531
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 1: And um, my grandfather built the house I live in,

532
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: and my father and mother lived downstairs, and my father's

533
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 1: brother married my mother's sister and they lived upstairs like

534
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 1: the Nortons and the Crampton's. And I was the first kid,

535
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 1: adding the two brothers and two sisters. So for the

536
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: first two years of my life I had four doting parents.

537
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 1: And then my mother had another kid, my aunt had

538
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 1: a kid. They moved out. I went from four parents

539
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: to none, and I spent the last seventy years ago

540
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 1: and where the fund did everybody go? All? Right? My

541
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 1: mother was very smart, very witty, uh, unbelievably so, which

542
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 1: I didn't. You don't know when you were a kid,

543
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 1: because there's a fish not it's in water, you know.

544
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 1: And my father had a very political job. My great

545
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:14,719
Speaker 1: uncle was the chairman of the National Republican National Republican Party.

546
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 1: He was Eisenhower's campaign manager, and he coined the phrase

547
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 1: I like Ike. So everybody in the family had a

548
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 1: Republican job. In the fifties, Nassau County on on Long

549
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 1: Island was like the forty ninth state. So we always

550
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: went to the ball games, to the World Series, you know,

551
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 1: and uh, we had a great, great, great life. And

552
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 1: then my father started drinking too much, and I was

553
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 1: I was fun. You know. People used to say, well,

554
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 1: you the class you know, when we first started getting

555
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 1: famous on the Stern Show, people had asked for just

556
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 1: what you said, and people will say, well, you're the

557
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: class clown. And I wouldn't just say yes, because in

558
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: my twisted mind, that would be like given myself a coronation.

559
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: That who am I to coornate myself if I was

560
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,719
Speaker 1: the class clown? And then I was like, wait a minute.

561
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 1: The cover of my first comedy album is my eighth

562
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: grade class picture and I'm giving the finger and I said,

563
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: wait a minute, maybe by the fault. I was the

564
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 1: class clown. And I absolutely was the class clown. I

565
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 1: was just you know, always, always a ball breaker, and

566
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: then started playing the guitar in high school, you know,

567
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 1: like every other guy, to meet chicks and to have fun.

568
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,719
Speaker 1: So you're in school, good student, Yeah I was. I

569
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 1: was very, very smart. Um my eighth grade math teacher,

570
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 1: my eighth grade homeroom teacher, my math teacher. It's a

571
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 1: very small school and I lived on the street. We

572
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: had uh excelled, uh excelled math class preparing people for college.

573
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 1: But you had to come in at seven thirty, a

574
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 1: half hour before school started, and she would call my

575
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 1: house to get me roused up, so I would come

576
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: in and and come to and uh I did really great.

577
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 1: But I mean I almost didn't graduate because you know,

578
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 1: I got so drunk for all senior high school. You know,

579
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: I got accepted in Michigan State in December. They they

580
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: passed you right away at those big schools. So I

581
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 1: spent the next six months drunk and missed so much school.

582
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 1: But I was, Yeah, I was smart, and I went

583
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: to I graduated from Michigan State University in nineteen seventy

584
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,959
Speaker 1: one as a mechanical engineer. Yeah, that's my question. Why

585
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: a mechanical engineering is not a easy course of study

586
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: so hard? My father had been an engineer in Alabama

587
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:37,959
Speaker 1: for a couple of years that he went to school.

588
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 1: I just innately knew if I didn't take a really

589
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 1: difficult major, did I would just get drunk and funk

590
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: out of college somehow. And all my craziness and all

591
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 1: my fog, I knew that. So here, I'm taking this heart.

592
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: I mean, my roommates, you know, taking two hours of

593
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: Shakespeare and getting four credits, and I'm spending eight hours

594
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 1: in the chemistry lab for four hour, I mean four

595
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 1: times a week to get the same four credits. You know,

596
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: it was really really difficult, you know, but I'm taking

597
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 1: atomic physics and mechanics and it's the late sixties, so

598
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 1: I'm going to college with bare feet, with my dog

599
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 1: with a ponytail, and the other guys are cheating off

600
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: my paper. You know. It was like pretty storybook, you know,

601
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:21,719
Speaker 1: it was good. And I tuned and I turned on.

602
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 1: I dropped out. I missed, I dropped out a term.

603
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 1: I failed enough classes to miss the term, and I

604
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 1: missed another term because I I've screwed up my knee.

605
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: So I was missing an entire year of school. And

606
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 1: then I met Darlene and we fell in love and

607
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 1: I had nothing better, nothing better to do, so I

608
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 1: went back to school and finished. Okay, did you have

609
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: any intention of being and no intention of doing anything?

610
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,320
Speaker 1: All I knew was I wasn't gonna get a job.

611
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: You know, the people I was graduating with, like, right,

612
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 1: I'm starting at Forward for two dollars and they give

613
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 1: me a house. Oh, I'm starting with GM and they

614
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 1: give me a car. And I didn't even I didn't

615
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 1: even take one interview. Are you kidding me? And I stayed.

616
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 1: I stayed in East Lansing, Michigan another two years. I

617
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 1: was there for seven years in the bubble, the bubble

618
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 1: that was the college town of East Lansing, Michigan in

619
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 1: the late sixties. I mean, talk about dying and going

620
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: to heaven. It just was. It was beyond spectacus. Okay,

621
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 1: but you're going to college in the late sixties and

622
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: your family is Republican, and based on your earlier commentary

623
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 1: anti Trump or whatever, at what point the Vietnam War.

624
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 1: What how do you turn you yeah, Vietnam. And you know,

625
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 1: of course, you know my father, you know, my father

626
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 1: was a local politician and my brother took a Nixon

627
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: bumper sticker and put it on my parents car upside

628
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 1: down so it said noxing and oh my father blew

629
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 1: a gasca, you know, like it was. But there was

630
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 1: it was all. It was all. Everybody in politics is

631
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:02,800
Speaker 1: just on the take on the take on. My father said, listen, Jackie,

632
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, Nixon's an asshole. But Nixon didn't do

633
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:09,359
Speaker 1: anything any different than any other politician has ever done.

634
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,319
Speaker 1: He just was stupid enough to get caught. And that

635
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: is running my head for a long time because my

636
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 1: father wasn't a dishonest guy. He was. He was a

637
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 1: stand up, great guy. You know. Um, I'm not I'm

638
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,439
Speaker 1: not really a political guy. I just know I hate

639
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: Trump because I I don't you know, I I hated

640
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,359
Speaker 1: him when he used to come on The Stern Show.

641
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 1: He's one of those people that would come in the

642
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 1: room and he didn't know there's anybody else in the room.

643
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 1: And I don't put up for that, you know, I

644
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 1: don't give a funk who you are. Were you anti war?

645
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: Did you protest the Vietnam? Of course? You know I

646
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 1: had a ponytail, and you know, I actually, uh, there

647
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,720
Speaker 1: was a day I woke up and I had dropped

648
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 1: out of school, and the guy the and the social

649
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: science professor didn't know I had dropped out of school.

650
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:59,760
Speaker 1: And we used to have h student uh not student students,

651
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 1: said instance, And what we did was Mrkin State was

652
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: so big that somebody would give a lecture, but there

653
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 1: would be uh satellite satellites of that lecture in different

654
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 1: halls around the campus, and the student assistance would going

655
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,959
Speaker 1: through the room and plug in the TV and turn

656
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,479
Speaker 1: it on, and they'd be the professor who was giving

657
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 1: the lecture somewhere else on campus, and all the kids

658
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,880
Speaker 1: would be sitting there and at the end of the

659
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,880
Speaker 1: lecture to turn off the TV and lead the discussions.

660
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 1: So I was a student assistant, but then I dropped

661
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,240
Speaker 1: out of school, but I was still doing it. And

662
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,320
Speaker 1: then when all of a sudden this should hit the

663
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 1: fan and everything was crazy. I actually walked in and

664
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 1: wrote on the blackboard, please do not come to class,

665
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 1: please stay home, you know, And of course that they

666
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 1: Professor Calemton said Jackie, I gotta fire you. You can't

667
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 1: do that, you know, and uh, and then so you

668
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: wanted them to stay home to protest. Yeah. So that afternoon,

669
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 1: me and my friend us go to see the movie Woodstock,

670
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 1: and we come out of wood Stock like craze hippies,

671
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 1: and I go by a six pack. And the professor

672
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 1: that had fired me that morning was having a barbecue

673
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: for all the student assistance and he was saying, Jackie,

674
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 1: I can't even fire you because you're not in I

675
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 1: want to fire you, but you're not in the in

676
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 1: the pace pay thing because you're not registered, because you

677
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,279
Speaker 1: dropped out. So he couldn't stop my paycheck because I

678
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 1: couldn't have got one. He was having a barbecue that

679
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 1: night out in NASCAR's East. Let's say I bought a

680
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 1: six pack. Hits like to the middle of nowhere. I'm

681
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:40,399
Speaker 1: walking along, I got a ponytail holding the six pack.

682
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 1: I'm drinking a beer, and an off duty cop pulls

683
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 1: over and comes up and says, you can't walk along

684
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 1: drinking a beer. Made me walk back to the gas station,

685
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 1: called the cops, made me pour out the beer's they're

686
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,800
Speaker 1: threatening like they're gonna cut my hair. And kick my ass.

687
00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 1: This Michigan in ninety eight or something sixty nine, and

688
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 1: the cops show up, and I have an outstanding muffler

689
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 1: ticket from ann Arbor from two years before. And I

690
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:15,879
Speaker 1: go to jail, and I called the professor who had

691
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:21,359
Speaker 1: fired me that morning at He left his own barbecue

692
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 1: and came ten or twenty miles to bail me out

693
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 1: of jail and brought me back to the party. And

694
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:32,719
Speaker 1: of course I walked into the party. I was a

695
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 1: big hero, and I ran the whole story of going

696
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 1: to jail, just like Carla Guthrie analysis restaurant, and I

697
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 1: fucked the best looking student assistant. It was like one

698
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 1: of those days that you lived your whole life in

699
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 1: one day, you know what I mean. I got up,

700
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: I got fired, I went to Woodstock and I got arrested.

701
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:51,840
Speaker 1: I went home. Oh oh, and that's not even jeez.

702
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:54,760
Speaker 1: It always sounds like I'm making up as I go along.

703
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 1: I'm banging this girl, and they called me. They had

704
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 1: taken the doors down at the dormitory Snyder's Phillips Hall

705
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,760
Speaker 1: in Michigan State. One side was the boys, one side

706
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 1: was the girls, and underneath in the middle was the

707
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 1: wreck room and they had taken the doors off, so

708
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 1: and the boys were moving them with the girls, and

709
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 1: the girls were moving them with the boys. And my

710
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: band was playing in the in the in the hall

711
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 1: in the middle. So I had to stop banging this

712
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 1: girl and go to go play with my band. And

713
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 1: we played like I know, if you all know, there

714
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 1: was a song called Volunteers of America jeplane the Jefferson Airplane.

715
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 1: We played it for two hours. I mean we just

716
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 1: that dad, that that dad, that bad. I mean, I

717
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 1: lived a life. You know, I should have been dead

718
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,840
Speaker 1: five times, you know. You know, high school was crazy,

719
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 1: college was crazy. Graduate from college or in least lancing

720
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 1: for another two years? What are you doing? Uh? My

721
00:39:55,320 --> 00:40:00,439
Speaker 1: girlfriend and I broke up, and you know, I told

722
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 1: her she had to leave. You gotta leave, you gotta leave.

723
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:07,800
Speaker 1: And once she left, uh, I was destroyed. And uh.

724
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 1: I had lived with a couple of guys like drunks

725
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: and heroin addicts, and they, you know, they lived, they

726
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,760
Speaker 1: moved into my house. But I had some great friends.

727
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 1: We had a good time. And finally a friend, an

728
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:21,399
Speaker 1: old friend, came from New York and well, a couple

729
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:22,880
Speaker 1: of guys came from New York to live with me

730
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 1: for a while and uh. And then another old friend

731
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 1: came from New York. He said, look, I'm getting you

732
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 1: out of here. And he said, look, we'll go to

733
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 1: Denver and we'll say hello and uh, and then we'll

734
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:38,880
Speaker 1: go to Amsterdam and buy some hash and make some money.

735
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 1: I said, all right, sounds good. He came to pick

736
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 1: me up and he's lancing. He stayed three months. I

737
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,800
Speaker 1: hadn't had a car for years, so all of a sudden,

738
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 1: he's got a car. So we're stealing steaks, living like kings,

739
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 1: having the time of a fucking lifetime. Finally, my kid

740
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 1: brother comes out. He's nine years old. We put him

741
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 1: and my dog and the two of us and everything

742
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 1: we own in this tiny Babo sports car and drove

743
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 1: to Denver. And we stayed in Denver for six months.

744
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: That's a whole eight guys from the hometown of Oyster Bay,

745
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 1: Long Island living in the same condo, working construction. It was.

746
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: It always sounds like I'm making up as I go along.

747
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: And then my old friend that I played music within

748
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 1: high school and during summers in college came through and

749
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,319
Speaker 1: he said, Jackie, what are you doing? And I said,

750
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 1: I can't do this anywhere I'm working construction. I can't

751
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:34,960
Speaker 1: even play my guitar because my hands are all kalous.

752
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: He will also go back to New York and start

753
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 1: a band. I said, I'll tell you what. I'm writing

754
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:41,799
Speaker 1: songs and I want to be funny. If we could

755
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 1: tell jokes and play original songs, I'm in. He said,

756
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 1: let's do it. We came back and the entire seventies,

757
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 1: me and the Sky had a band called the off

758
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 1: Our Rockers. H H O you are. And we drove

759
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 1: around in the seventies, in the nineteen fifty five bright

760
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: Yell Cadillac Hearsts, and we always had girls, We always

761
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 1: had booze, we always had pot, and we had so

762
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 1: much fun, and but we never got anywhere. Did you

763
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 1: did you try to get something? I wrote so many songs,

764
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 1: and my heart was so in it. And when it

765
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 1: comes to art, how much your heart is in it,

766
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 1: and how successfully you are at it, and how much

767
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: money you make at and how famous you get is

768
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 1: not necessarily in any way correlated to how deeply invested

769
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 1: in that you were. I mean, I I ground out

770
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 1: these songs. I wasn't looking for moon June Spoon. These

771
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:43,479
Speaker 1: songs were coming out of my I don't know whether

772
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 1: you know when you're talking about being an artist, the

773
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,719
Speaker 1: minute you say that word, you feel like you're full

774
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 1: of ship. It's like, to this day, if I tell

775
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 1: somebody I'm a comedian, I'm still waiting for somebody tapping

776
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: on his shoulder saying, no, you're not. You know, I

777
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:58,919
Speaker 1: mean that whole insecurity comes with it. But we never

778
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 1: got anywhere, and we were so much fun. We told jokes,

779
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 1: we did routines, we played original songs. But there was

780
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 1: no video of that band, and we broke up in

781
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 1: n and a year later, everybody had VCRs and video

782
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 1: cameras and it's just beyond the pale. But the band

783
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 1: broke up, and I had been telling jokes and telling

784
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 1: jokes and playing gigs by myself with my guitar and

785
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,360
Speaker 1: my jokes. And then I met some comedians and they

786
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:31,760
Speaker 1: would come to my gigs and get up on stage

787
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 1: because there was no place to have stage time. And

788
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: like Eddie Murphy and Bob Nelson and Rob Bartlett, Richie

789
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 1: MINDBEDI the Bob Wood's, they've walked to my old friends.

790
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:45,360
Speaker 1: To this day, they would just show up and I

791
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 1: put them on stage and you know, and we'd be horrible.

792
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:50,839
Speaker 1: And then I started booking shows around. Okay, this was

793
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 1: still when you were singing songs. I was. I was

794
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 1: singing songs, but it was a comedy act. It was

795
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: it was, it was my origin, all songs, but I

796
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 1: told jokes. And when I started doing comedy, like I

797
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 1: called my official start to January nine nine, and I

798
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 1: went from being a uh a guy who sang songs

799
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:18,240
Speaker 1: and told jokes to being a guy who told jokes

800
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 1: and sang songs. Now you're you're known that sounds say

801
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:24,759
Speaker 1: said subtle. But you know, for the whole whole first

802
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 1: year as a comedian, I always had on my guitar. Oh,

803
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: I had a ponytail for me. You're known for telling

804
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 1: jokes in a rapid fire away. What was your act

805
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,799
Speaker 1: back then? Just a couple of you know, I'd tell

806
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 1: a couple of jokes and it wasn't really I never

807
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 1: even thought in terms of an act. You know, do

808
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:47,399
Speaker 1: you remember that you remember the jokes you told? Then? Yeah,

809
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 1: I told him last night. It's the same ship, you know,

810
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: I found and I got everything here and my you

811
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 1: wouldn't believe my, my, my garage here, and I got

812
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 1: everything I ever recorded, and I found out that some

813
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 1: of these old VHS tapes are okay. And my friend

814
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 1: Ed took a night six MR rips in Valley Cottage

815
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: and he and he saved it onto an MP four

816
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 1: and he said it to me, And I'm watching it

817
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: and it's the same jokes. And I'm sitting there laughing

818
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 1: at myself, laughing at myself, And I knew those jokes

819
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 1: were already old. The jokes I tell I heard nineteen.

820
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 1: You know, they're just funny. They're just timeless, you know.

821
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 1: And what was really funny. The reason I know more

822
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 1: jokes than anybody in the world is I always absorbed them.

823
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 1: They always stuck to me, and I don't know why,

824
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,400
Speaker 1: but they just did. But then, when we had the

825
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 1: band in the seventies, we used to tell jokes and

826
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:47,720
Speaker 1: play songs, and we played in the same two, three

827
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 1: four clubs week after week after week. Now, nobody ever

828
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 1: took the time to tell us that a comedian has

829
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 1: an act and he does it to a different audience

830
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 1: every night. We were playing to the same audience every week.

831
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:07,560
Speaker 1: So we're scrounged around doing everything. We could define new

832
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 1: jokes and new ideas because we had to play to

833
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 1: the same people week after week after week, and so

834
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:16,920
Speaker 1: I just accumulated this ridiculous but I already knew the jokes.

835
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:19,279
Speaker 1: It's it's hard to explain, you know, if you're a

836
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 1: joke teller, people cannot wait to tell you a joke.

837
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: I know. That's ridiculous. They're so sure they have a

838
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 1: joke you haven't heard. Now. Of course it's the jokes

839
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,879
Speaker 1: that somebody's gonna tell me. Of course, of course gonna

840
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,319
Speaker 1: be something that I know, because it's popular. It's going

841
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 1: around as early as like nineteen seventy five. We'd be

842
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 1: on break and somebody come up and say, all right,

843
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 1: I got a joke to you, and I'd say, all right,

844
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna count down from ten, and when I get

845
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 1: to zero, if I haven't told you a punchline, I'll

846
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:49,000
Speaker 1: buy you a drink. En seventy five, I never bought

847
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,919
Speaker 1: anybody to drink. I got so if somebody's talking about

848
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 1: the Indian and the cowboy going down the river on

849
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 1: a canoe, I said, you know what, this is the

850
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 1: priest in the nun going across the desert. I just

851
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 1: could see the parallels, figure out jokes, and they just

852
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 1: they just stuck with me. I can't really explain it,

853
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 1: but they And then when my band broke up, what

854
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 1: I have all I knew was all I knew was

855
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 1: I had a zillion jokes, a lot of original songs,

856
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:19,839
Speaker 1: and the desire to never ever get a regular job.

857
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 1: I was never going to be become a commuter. And

858
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 1: then I went up on the Stern Show and the

859
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 1: people that got up to commute laughed at me because literally, okay,

860
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,239
Speaker 1: getting up so early. You know, how important is the

861
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 1: telling of a joke as opposed to the lines of

862
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 1: the joke? Uh about? So what are the keys to

863
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 1: telling a good joke? It's actually very simple. You you

864
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 1: pare them down. I remember, even very very early on,

865
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 1: I get so angry because like the Playboy jokes, you

866
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 1: know on the Playboy, you know the open Playboy. Uh,

867
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 1: the the handsome, gorgeous, voluptuous young blonde sauntered into the

868
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 1: bar and found herself at the bar stool and looked

869
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 1: over at the bartender and I said, now a girl

870
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:13,680
Speaker 1: goes into a bar, stage is set. That's all you need.

871
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,560
Speaker 1: A fat girl goes into a bar, stage is set.

872
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:19,759
Speaker 1: You chop everything away, and you also tell things it's

873
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,840
Speaker 1: got to be in the present. And that sounds that

874
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:25,319
Speaker 1: once again, that's subtle. You know, a girl went into

875
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:29,720
Speaker 1: the bar and said, it's already history. A girl goes

876
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:34,280
Speaker 1: into a bar, A guy walks into a bar. Now

877
00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 1: it's real time, it's president, it's now. I know it

878
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 1: sounds stupid. And the main thing, yeah, I've I've written

879
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 1: lots of articles for people. Yeah, I mean for magazines

880
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 1: and stuff. Also is you make sure that you know

881
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:53,359
Speaker 1: the punch line absolutely cold, because you can stumble through

882
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 1: a whole damn joke and fudge and screw around, and

883
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 1: as long as you hit the punch line just right,

884
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 1: that makes up for a real lot. You know, if

885
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: you you stumble over a punchline, get a word wrong,

886
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 1: you know you lost. I mean, well, none of this

887
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 1: means anything to anybody. Nobody cares about telling jokes. But

888
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, how many people people are telling

889
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 1: jokes all over the universe today? Oh no, no, I

890
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 1: know that, but they don't care about getting it right.

891
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 1: I spent I spent so many countless, countless hours at bars, parties,

892
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 1: getting stone, getting drunk, doing acid I would be. I

893
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 1: would listened to every joke that everybody ever told me.

894
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 1: And as the years went on, it became more and

895
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 1: more and more rare that somebody tell me something I

896
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 1: hadn't heard. But I I still get so excited what

897
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:48,439
Speaker 1: I hear joke I haven't heard before. And sometimes they're

898
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:52,720
Speaker 1: really obvious jokes that just slipped through the cracks. My favorite,

899
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 1: my favorite example, Uh, do you know what Mark Hudson

900
00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 1: is the Hudson. Oh, he's a good past so so

901
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 1: Mark Hudson Um that was doing a show at Iridium

902
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 1: at fifty fifty one Broadway. Uh, downstairs and uh it

903
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:14,880
Speaker 1: was called Thursdays on the Hudson, and he would he

904
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:18,880
Speaker 1: would you know Billy J. Kramer, people like that, you know,

905
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 1: people who's that? What was that? You know? People of

906
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 1: note from notes past. There were always great shows and

907
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 1: Mark is so talented, so funny. But if you know,

908
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,879
Speaker 1: if I I never could just go to these things,

909
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 1: I go to see somebody that's they always asked me

910
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:37,319
Speaker 1: up on stage, and I'm always, uh funk, I gotta

911
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:39,319
Speaker 1: go on stage. And meanwhile, then if they don't ask me,

912
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, why didn't they ask me? You know? Every

913
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 1: performance the Saint. But I went up and uh, the

914
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:48,839
Speaker 1: place is packed. Where and when it was doesn't matter,

915
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 1: but I just like it just it makes more interesting

916
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,320
Speaker 1: to me. So the show is done and we go

917
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 1: on the back. We're hanging out in the green room

918
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:56,919
Speaker 1: for like a half hour, and we come back out

919
00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 1: and the place is still packed that people want to

920
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 1: say hellad of Mark and say he load of Billy

921
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 1: and say hello Jackie. Whatever, it's still crammed. And a

922
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:09,879
Speaker 1: guy comes up to me and he says, Jackie, I've

923
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 1: been a fan for forty years, and I know you

924
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:14,080
Speaker 1: know every joke in the world, but I got to

925
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,880
Speaker 1: try one on you. And I didn't do those, but

926
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:20,120
Speaker 1: I said listen. Of course, you know I listened. I

927
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:23,840
Speaker 1: listen to everybody's jokes. This guy told me a joke

928
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:28,799
Speaker 1: that's too dirty for my act. I tell her I

929
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 1: have a very, very filthy fast but it was too

930
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 1: It's too dirty for my act because it slows people

931
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 1: up because if people go oh, or they get the

932
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 1: least bit thront, just like Jesus. I could care less

933
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 1: about Jesus, but I don't do much Jesus jokes because

934
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 1: if somebody goes, oh, I get get hit by lightning,

935
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:54,360
Speaker 1: I've lost them for the next joke or the next phrase.

936
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:56,840
Speaker 1: You know, I don't want to do anything to slow

937
00:51:56,920 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 1: up put up any hurdles. Right, So this guy told

938
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 1: me a joke that he's one of my favorite jokes

939
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 1: of all time. But I can't use it my act

940
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 1: because it slows down what's going on, because it's so disgusting.

941
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:14,399
Speaker 1: So you gonna tell it, that said, it's a joke

942
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:18,680
Speaker 1: you could tell on terrestrial radio, and it's a joke

943
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:23,000
Speaker 1: you could tell to a five year old kid. It's

944
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:26,760
Speaker 1: not about it's not a scenario, think about the city,

945
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 1: the police, the scenario just created. It's too disgusting for

946
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 1: my act. But you could tell it to a kid,

947
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:35,920
Speaker 1: and you can tell it on terrestrial radio. If you

948
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:39,320
Speaker 1: tell it to a kid, will the kid laugh? You die?

949
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:44,080
Speaker 1: A girl calls a doctor and should stock I have diarrhea?

950
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 1: Can I take a bath? And he says, if you

951
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:57,760
Speaker 1: have enough, which is just so But it's just so funny.

952
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 1: It's SuperFect, and I felt he's a jackie. You don't

953
00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 1: have to pretend. I thought, not pretending funny? My God

954
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 1: is beautiful. Oh I love that's just so funny. You

955
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 1: know I do. I do cameo dot com Do you

956
00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:14,240
Speaker 1: know what that is? I do those cameo dot coms?

957
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:15,920
Speaker 1: I do you know? I did like three today, You

958
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 1: know I I love doing them and I could have

959
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,400
Speaker 1: done fourteen. I could have done fourteen while I was

960
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 1: waiting to do this. How much huge? How much you charge?

961
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 1: I only charge fifty bucks because I'll tell you I

962
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 1: don't I don't get to perform. I haven't had a

963
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 1: show since March. This is They're like my method ome

964
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I tell three, four or

965
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 1: five six jokes on each of these things and have

966
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 1: fun and laugh. That gets me through the night, you

967
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I really enjoyed doing them, and

968
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 1: uh that that diarrhea joke is always in there. It's

969
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:49,440
Speaker 1: always in there. A lot of times I start with

970
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 1: it because it's really fun, you know. So you put

971
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:02,319
Speaker 1: out your first comedy record in Augus. What happened was

972
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:07,320
Speaker 1: I had worked in a recording studio after they liked

973
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 1: a song that we had, a crazy song called the

974
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 1: Pots song that Howard always played on the radio, and

975
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 1: my band recorded it, and the guys that owned the

976
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 1: recording studio asked me to work there, and I did,

977
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:21,960
Speaker 1: and learned enough about recording to know that any idiot

978
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:25,280
Speaker 1: can have an album. And then I told my girlfriend

979
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 1: they left and all my jokes. I borrowed a hundred

980
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 1: bucks from fifteen different people and made my first comedy record.

981
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:34,759
Speaker 1: The covers my eighth grade class picture I'm Giving the

982
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:41,560
Speaker 1: Finger and um. It was recorded at upstairs at a

983
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:45,840
Speaker 1: restaurant with two microphones hanging and Ana Camici cassette player

984
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:48,600
Speaker 1: with me on one side and the crowd mike on

985
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:52,719
Speaker 1: the other. And uh. Then I made another album, and

986
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:55,279
Speaker 1: then I made another albuh. This was back in the

987
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:59,319
Speaker 1: days before the Internet. Independent distribution was difficult. How did

988
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:03,279
Speaker 1: you get the there was there was no distribution. I

989
00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:06,880
Speaker 1: sold them at gigs, I sent them to everybody. It

990
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:11,200
Speaker 1: was more of a promotion than anything. You know, nobody

991
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 1: was selling anything. I was the first guy by a

992
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 1: decade to do that. And when I first gome I'll

993
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 1: tell you when I want to pick up my first

994
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:21,840
Speaker 1: thousand albums at Port Authority, it was like I was

995
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 1: picking up quintuplets. I mean I was. I can still

996
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,480
Speaker 1: remember the aurora around my head. I was like, oh

997
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 1: my god, and there's even so much more to it

998
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:34,799
Speaker 1: that I will not bore you with. That's really crazy,

999
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 1: and I never forget. I worked at Pipps in Brooklyn,

1000
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:41,240
Speaker 1: and I must have been so excited that I promoted

1001
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:42,880
Speaker 1: the hell out of it. And I think I was

1002
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:47,440
Speaker 1: making forty bucks for the night, and I sold fifteen

1003
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 1: albums at five bucks apiece, which was an extra seventy

1004
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 1: five bucks, which in nineteen seventy nine for a low

1005
00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:57,800
Speaker 1: Ashlon comic. And then I would sell them after my gigs,

1006
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:00,080
Speaker 1: and the other guys used to make fun of me, Oh,

1007
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,319
Speaker 1: there goes Jackie with his albums. Oh, but I wanted

1008
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 1: Jackie's out. And then one day somebody said, wait a minute,

1009
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 1: we all made thirty dollars and he made an extra

1010
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:12,480
Speaker 1: eighty dollars. Maybe he knows what he's doing, you know,

1011
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:14,319
Speaker 1: Like all of a sudden, they realized, maybe I'm not

1012
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 1: an idiot because I'm signing autographs and warming up to

1013
00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 1: people and having a great time. And then I wind

1014
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:24,359
Speaker 1: up making a second album and a third album, and

1015
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 1: all along the way I sent him to everybody, Like

1016
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 1: if I if I ran into you, I would say,

1017
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 1: what's your name? What do you do? Oh, you're in

1018
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:35,160
Speaker 1: the music industry. Let me send you my comedy album,

1019
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,760
Speaker 1: so I would. I would hand them at the albums everybody.

1020
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:40,640
Speaker 1: I was so proud of it. And by this time

1021
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:43,480
Speaker 1: I actually had been in contact with Rodney Dangerfield, so

1022
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:45,960
Speaker 1: I asked him to send me fight dollars. I still

1023
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:48,560
Speaker 1: have my fight allar check from Rodney buying my album

1024
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 1: A little bit slower. How did you make connection with Rodney? Well,

1025
00:56:52,239 --> 00:56:55,799
Speaker 1: that's that's way off topic. That's but it's basically the

1026
00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 1: same thing. It's me reaching out to people. I've always

1027
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 1: reached out to people. Bull Um, We'll come back to Rodney.

1028
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:05,000
Speaker 1: But what happened was I put put out an album,

1029
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:08,440
Speaker 1: put out another album, and each time I put out

1030
00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 1: an album and send it to everybody, and put out

1031
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,960
Speaker 1: another album and send it to everybody, and put another album.

1032
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:17,200
Speaker 1: So by Nancy, who was going to become my wife,

1033
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 1: was working with me, and we must have sent out

1034
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:23,200
Speaker 1: copies of all three albums with the matching cassettes and

1035
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 1: all the promo too, so many, I mean hundreds of people.

1036
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:31,080
Speaker 1: And the albums were expensive, and the cassettes were expensive,

1037
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 1: and the postage was expensive, and we and we were

1038
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 1: I was hosting a Governor's Comedy Shop, this club that

1039
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 1: we started with these guys, and I mean, we're putting

1040
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 1: everything back in and we had no idea what we're doing.

1041
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:49,280
Speaker 1: We didn't have any game plan, We didn't have any

1042
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:52,360
Speaker 1: any you know, carrot. At the end of the stick,

1043
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 1: We're just just work. And you know, she thought I

1044
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,240
Speaker 1: was funny, and she thought we thought something could happen.

1045
00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 1: We liked our music. And then I found out from

1046
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:05,720
Speaker 1: a guy in Washington that the sky just got fired

1047
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:08,640
Speaker 1: and that he was moving to NBC and I should

1048
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 1: send my records to him. And I had no idea

1049
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:12,960
Speaker 1: who Howard Sterne was. I just put my records in

1050
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:16,640
Speaker 1: a in a you know, mailer, and we just mailed

1051
00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:18,800
Speaker 1: the records. And a couple of months later, Nancy called

1052
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:21,080
Speaker 1: up and said, Hey, that this jockey from w NBC

1053
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 1: wants you to call him. So I called him and

1054
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:26,200
Speaker 1: he said, you want to come in and help judge

1055
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:29,640
Speaker 1: your talent contests over the telephone, and I said, well, sure,

1056
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 1: I'm sitting in my mother's attic nothing nothing to lose.

1057
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 1: That's where my first joke land was. And I went

1058
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,240
Speaker 1: in and sat there and it was Howard and Fred

1059
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:42,920
Speaker 1: and Robin and I sat down and we laughed for

1060
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 1: four hours, and when we got done, he said, man,

1061
00:58:45,240 --> 00:58:46,640
Speaker 1: you are a lot of fun. Why don't you come

1062
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:49,960
Speaker 1: back next week? So I came back next week, once

1063
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:52,000
Speaker 1: a week for free for three years. So I was

1064
00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 1: that's pretty immediate acceptance, you know what I mean? Okay?

1065
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 1: Were you bothered by the fact that you weren't getting

1066
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:03,680
Speaker 1: paid for that three years? Not the slightest amount? Okay?

1067
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 1: Because I know compensation although with NBC or was an

1068
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:09,760
Speaker 1: issue further down the line. So how did it turn

1069
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:12,640
Speaker 1: into a full time gig? They asked me to come back?

1070
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 1: And uh I I inherently knew how incredibly valuable that was.

1071
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 1: I mean, for fifty thousand watch UH station in the

1072
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:27,400
Speaker 1: Tri State area with him to be saying see Jackie

1073
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 1: Martling at Governor's Comedy Shop every Friday and Saturday. I

1074
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:35,240
Speaker 1: knew how valuable that was. And you wouldn't believe. Comics

1075
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:37,400
Speaker 1: still come up to me and say, I can't believe

1076
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 1: you asked me to come on the Howard Stern Show.

1077
00:59:39,240 --> 00:59:41,840
Speaker 1: And I said no because I would say to somebody, hey,

1078
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:43,720
Speaker 1: you want to come join me on the Howard Stern

1079
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 1: Show on Tuesday, And they would say, what's it, hey?

1080
00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:49,520
Speaker 1: They said, what do you mean? What's it? Hey? It's

1081
00:59:49,560 --> 00:59:52,880
Speaker 1: the flagship station of w NBC A m are you

1082
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:55,439
Speaker 1: out of your mind? And then I parlayd I told

1083
00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:58,200
Speaker 1: the guys that Wrastler's Comedy Club, Look, let me do

1084
00:59:58,240 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 1: a show on Tuesday nights. I'll host Open Mike and

1085
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:03,360
Speaker 1: I'll advertise it, and then you could pay me, because

1086
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:05,520
Speaker 1: it's worth it for me to advertise you on the radio.

1087
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:12,000
Speaker 1: And what happened was very, very very gradually I gave

1088
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 1: him ideas. Like when I first gave him some some

1089
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:18,760
Speaker 1: ideas for one of his bits, he kind of looked

1090
01:00:18,760 --> 01:00:20,520
Speaker 1: at me like, what are you doing? I don't need help?

1091
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:22,960
Speaker 1: And then I heard him doing him on the radio.

1092
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,200
Speaker 1: And then like the next week, it was like you

1093
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:28,720
Speaker 1: know what else you got? You know? And slowly but

1094
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:31,640
Speaker 1: surely I was just giving him little pieces of snippets

1095
01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 1: of paper and ideas. It was so gradual and so organic.

1096
01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:43,280
Speaker 1: And then he got fired uh from w NBC, and

1097
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:45,680
Speaker 1: he got rehired at kay Rock, and after like a

1098
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 1: couple of weeks he called up and said, hey, we

1099
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:48,960
Speaker 1: want you to join us again. Once a week. It

1100
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:51,320
Speaker 1: was the afternoons and when I went in, there was

1101
01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 1: actually a place for me to sit and right, and

1102
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:59,560
Speaker 1: I physically would put the notes on half of an

1103
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 1: open loose leaf and just physically put them in front

1104
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:06,600
Speaker 1: of him, and it had it had migrated to where

1105
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:08,520
Speaker 1: I was. I had an actual stack of paper. At

1106
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:10,520
Speaker 1: one point in the NBC, I just said, this is busy.

1107
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:12,560
Speaker 1: I just got a stack of paper and a sharpie

1108
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:15,040
Speaker 1: and started writing it nice and big so he could

1109
01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 1: see it. And then once I was set up the

1110
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,160
Speaker 1: way I was at k Rock, Fred would give me

1111
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:22,160
Speaker 1: little ideas on a piece of paper, and one day

1112
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 1: I gave him a big stack of paper, said look,

1113
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:27,080
Speaker 1: here's the paper, and here's the sharpie. You hit me

1114
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:29,480
Speaker 1: a little snippet of paper. By the time I rewrite

1115
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:31,520
Speaker 1: it and put it up for Howard, the moment's lost.

1116
01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:34,640
Speaker 1: We're already going a hundred thousand miles an hour. So

1117
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 1: he started doing that, and then they decided to put

1118
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:44,200
Speaker 1: them on in mornings, and all the millions of dollars

1119
01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:48,840
Speaker 1: and all the millions and millions of listeners, and fifty

1120
01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 1: five stations and number one on lots of them. My

1121
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 1: entire job description was he called up and said, listen,

1122
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:01,080
Speaker 1: we're starting mornings. I need you to come in two

1123
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:04,520
Speaker 1: days a week and do your thing with the notes.

1124
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:09,040
Speaker 1: That was my total job description, do your thing with

1125
01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:11,280
Speaker 1: the notes. And I went in and the two days

1126
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:13,120
Speaker 1: I was there, he was much funnier. So all of

1127
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:14,840
Speaker 1: a sudden I was on three days, and then four

1128
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 1: days and then five days, because it was a glaring difference. So, Jackie,

1129
01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:21,960
Speaker 1: when you started to give Howard those notes, Prior to

1130
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 1: that point, no one was performing your role. No one

1131
01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 1: was giving him any help. As far as we know,

1132
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:31,480
Speaker 1: nobody had ever ever done that. Like in the old days,

1133
01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:34,160
Speaker 1: the radio Bob Hope and being Crossby, if those guys

1134
01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:36,280
Speaker 1: were doing a radio show, they would go to commercial

1135
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:38,600
Speaker 1: and the writers would come over with ideas and they

1136
01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:42,240
Speaker 1: try and top each other. But I actually, you know,

1137
01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:44,600
Speaker 1: I coined it one day. I was getting interviewed and

1138
01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:47,480
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, it's flying gag writing, and everybody made

1139
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 1: fun of me. But that is totally descriptive to describe

1140
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:54,880
Speaker 1: what it is. I mean, obviously, I've an cities questions

1141
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:57,480
Speaker 1: a million times. If me and you and your wife

1142
01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 1: were sitting there having lunch and we're all kind of

1143
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:03,880
Speaker 1: funny and kind of all kind of interesting, and we're

1144
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:07,360
Speaker 1: having a conversation. I see something, you say something. Maybe

1145
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:12,080
Speaker 1: she says something funny. Uh, you say something funny. I

1146
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:15,960
Speaker 1: say something funny, and this is a fun conversation. Now

1147
01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:20,320
Speaker 1: picture that same conversation. I'm a kind of funny guy.

1148
01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:23,280
Speaker 1: Whenever I think it's something funny to say, instead of

1149
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:27,160
Speaker 1: saying it, I write it down and put it in

1150
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:30,160
Speaker 1: front of you. Now, obviously you've got to be pretty

1151
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:32,440
Speaker 1: smart and pretty quick on your feet to work it

1152
01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:35,240
Speaker 1: in to whatever you're talking about, even though you know

1153
01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:38,600
Speaker 1: it's right along the line. But Howard was brilliant. He

1154
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 1: would just look at whatever I wrote and absorb it.

1155
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:44,040
Speaker 1: He would very often just read it with hardly a preread.

1156
01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:48,320
Speaker 1: He just trusted me so much, and uh, it was seamless.

1157
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:51,080
Speaker 1: And then Fred, give me, give me an idea, Give

1158
01:03:51,080 --> 01:03:52,680
Speaker 1: me an idea of a couple of ideas you might

1159
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:54,640
Speaker 1: give him at that point in time. You know, I

1160
01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:57,840
Speaker 1: can't even give me just like a punch line for

1161
01:03:57,960 --> 01:04:01,680
Speaker 1: something like it's it's too hard to give you an

1162
01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:04,480
Speaker 1: example out of context. However, I do have every note

1163
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:07,600
Speaker 1: that I ever wrote, that he ever said, and my

1164
01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:10,560
Speaker 1: mother's attic, and there are countless thousands of them might

1165
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:13,880
Speaker 1: be glad to whip them out. Okay, so you say

1166
01:04:13,920 --> 01:04:17,440
Speaker 1: you have everything, Are you, generally speaking a hoarder, a

1167
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 1: pack rat? No, not even a little bit. But when

1168
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 1: I started doing it, I said, this is gonna be

1169
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:24,680
Speaker 1: no evidence of anything I've ever done. You know what

1170
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:32,280
Speaker 1: I've got. At some point, Um, I used to pull

1171
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:34,960
Speaker 1: so much stuff for you know. I'm fun, you know.

1172
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,360
Speaker 1: And I didn't mind that he was the big star.

1173
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:39,880
Speaker 1: I didn't care. I didn't want to be Jackie Martling show.

1174
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:42,600
Speaker 1: I didn't have any I didn't want to ever carry

1175
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:44,800
Speaker 1: the ball. I just but I like the funk around.

1176
01:04:44,800 --> 01:04:47,600
Speaker 1: I'm the guy that likes to break balls. And people

1177
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:50,120
Speaker 1: would come on and Howard was it was very rude,

1178
01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:53,040
Speaker 1: like a celebrity come on and sit right next to me,

1179
01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:54,760
Speaker 1: and how it talked to him, but how it wasn't

1180
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:57,240
Speaker 1: the kind of guy that would say, this is Jackie,

1181
01:04:57,280 --> 01:05:00,640
Speaker 1: that's Fred, how you doing? He just that's not in

1182
01:05:00,720 --> 01:05:03,240
Speaker 1: his wheelhouse. He's he's he's not he's a bad guy.

1183
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:08,360
Speaker 1: He's just not. That's that's not him. So I would

1184
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:12,240
Speaker 1: get the address of the manager or the home address

1185
01:05:12,360 --> 01:05:17,160
Speaker 1: or whatever from celebrities and I would send them my

1186
01:05:17,720 --> 01:05:21,080
Speaker 1: either my albums or my cassettes, and later on, once

1187
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:25,680
Speaker 1: I guess it hit, I would send them c ds

1188
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:28,880
Speaker 1: of my jokes and stuff. And the musicians or the

1189
01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 1: performers whoever came in, of course love filthy jokes, and

1190
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:35,640
Speaker 1: they would listen to them and love them, and the

1191
01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:39,120
Speaker 1: next time they came on the show they would forget

1192
01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:43,920
Speaker 1: that they had never met me, which was great. Like Diamond,

1193
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:51,760
Speaker 1: David Lee roth And and Branford, Marsalis and uh Roger Daltrey,

1194
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:55,360
Speaker 1: Clarence Clemens. They come in and say, hey, Jackie, how

1195
01:05:55,440 --> 01:06:00,200
Speaker 1: you doing, like it was so funny, and they tell, oh,

1196
01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:03,160
Speaker 1: how Jackie's albums are the funniest thing in and he would,

1197
01:06:03,320 --> 01:06:05,480
Speaker 1: you know, the steam would come out of his ears,

1198
01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:08,479
Speaker 1: you know. But at some point I said to Steve Grill,

1199
01:06:08,520 --> 01:06:11,840
Speaker 1: oh listen. I would take the funniest note that I

1200
01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:17,400
Speaker 1: had written about somebody and handed the Grillo Steve and say, hey,

1201
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:21,200
Speaker 1: get them to sign it and and maybe say something silly, okay,

1202
01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:23,880
Speaker 1: like one of them. I'll send you these I got.

1203
01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:26,880
Speaker 1: I got about a hundred and twenty of them. And

1204
01:06:27,040 --> 01:06:30,480
Speaker 1: you could not sit down and write this eclectic group.

1205
01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:35,120
Speaker 1: You could not write this random a group at gunpoint,

1206
01:06:35,600 --> 01:06:41,560
Speaker 1: you know, John Wayne Bobbitt, alb Michael's Um Tiny, Tim

1207
01:06:41,680 --> 01:06:49,400
Speaker 1: David Lee, Roth, Branford, Marsalis um Uh, Heraldo Rivera just

1208
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:54,040
Speaker 1: names that you know, Barbara Barbara's uh streisand and sister

1209
01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:58,960
Speaker 1: you know Adam West. I mean you couldn't. You couldn't

1210
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:03,520
Speaker 1: concoct the slists of people who signed right, And like

1211
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:07,480
Speaker 1: haraldough Uh he came into to announce that he just

1212
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:11,840
Speaker 1: got his own show on CNBC and the note I

1213
01:07:11,880 --> 01:07:14,360
Speaker 1: wrote and put up and Howard said, your own show

1214
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:19,880
Speaker 1: on CNBC, wouldn't the lemonade stand be more profitable? All

1215
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:23,080
Speaker 1: went wild and Haralda wrote on the note fuck you,

1216
01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:26,080
Speaker 1: you know, which is so fun, you know? And Daltry

1217
01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:28,800
Speaker 1: did not get along with Pete Townsend and the note

1218
01:07:28,840 --> 01:07:31,160
Speaker 1: I wrote that I that he signed. It was like

1219
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:34,840
Speaker 1: Roger when you guys were on stage, did you ever

1220
01:07:35,400 --> 01:07:37,960
Speaker 1: hope that when Pete was doing that stupid windmill he

1221
01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:40,720
Speaker 1: hit himself in his big nose and knocked himself out

1222
01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:45,760
Speaker 1: And it was classic And of course they're laughing. Everybody's laughing.

1223
01:07:46,120 --> 01:07:49,080
Speaker 1: Whoever know those I'm sure those lines are all on

1224
01:07:49,120 --> 01:07:51,880
Speaker 1: YouTube somewhere And here I have the note, and then

1225
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:53,840
Speaker 1: he caught us doing it. He caught me doing it,

1226
01:07:53,960 --> 01:07:57,800
Speaker 1: and I got braided forever and ever for harassing you know,

1227
01:07:58,040 --> 01:08:00,240
Speaker 1: the celebrities, which they didn't care. They loved, you know,

1228
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:03,400
Speaker 1: we had so much fun and uh, but that that's

1229
01:08:03,400 --> 01:08:06,240
Speaker 1: an example of some of the you know, like, okay,

1230
01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:08,960
Speaker 1: so they he caught you sending the stuff in advance

1231
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:11,720
Speaker 1: or having that. He just got wind that we were

1232
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:13,640
Speaker 1: having people saying, oh, how can you how can you

1233
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:16,479
Speaker 1: be so rude to our guests. I meanwhile, the minute

1234
01:08:16,479 --> 01:08:18,720
Speaker 1: they walked into the show, they were up in those

1235
01:08:18,800 --> 01:08:22,040
Speaker 1: with a camera like for the show. You know, He's

1236
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:26,439
Speaker 1: like he has uh Barbara Streichs and sisters Rosalind Kind

1237
01:08:26,760 --> 01:08:30,960
Speaker 1: and uh uh what's bigger your husband's penis or your

1238
01:08:30,960 --> 01:08:38,040
Speaker 1: sister's nose? Just great? Great, Okay, So now Howard has

1239
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:40,599
Speaker 1: a team of writers. When you were finished with Howard

1240
01:08:40,640 --> 01:08:45,040
Speaker 1: two thousand three or so, were you still the only writer? Well,

1241
01:08:45,240 --> 01:08:49,200
Speaker 1: I wrote, and Fred would have the ideas. Fred Fred

1242
01:08:49,280 --> 01:08:52,519
Speaker 1: is the guts of that operation. When I got there,

1243
01:08:52,560 --> 01:08:56,000
Speaker 1: he had written every song parody. He never wrote lines

1244
01:08:56,040 --> 01:08:58,840
Speaker 1: for Howard, but he did all the bits and recorded

1245
01:08:58,840 --> 01:09:01,960
Speaker 1: everything and did the voice says, and he's just super

1246
01:09:02,080 --> 01:09:04,519
Speaker 1: super brilliant. And I was so thrilled, and we were

1247
01:09:04,640 --> 01:09:08,120
Speaker 1: we were, we were Lennon McCartney of song parodies. Just

1248
01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:11,400
Speaker 1: fit like a glove. And he loved going to it

1249
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:14,360
Speaker 1: with me on the air. He wouldn't argue, you wouldn't

1250
01:09:14,360 --> 01:09:16,200
Speaker 1: go to it with anybody else because nobody else could

1251
01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:18,479
Speaker 1: handle him, you know, but me and him was like

1252
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:20,559
Speaker 1: an even match because we could work with each other.

1253
01:09:21,040 --> 01:09:23,640
Speaker 1: And then a couple a couple of years before I

1254
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:25,519
Speaker 1: left that all of a sudden, how it stuck this

1255
01:09:25,560 --> 01:09:29,719
Speaker 1: guy Benji right next to me in my space, and

1256
01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:32,640
Speaker 1: Howard's agent, you know, just I'm sure to make me

1257
01:09:32,720 --> 01:09:34,880
Speaker 1: realize that, you know, I could be replaced, as it

1258
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:38,120
Speaker 1: was like putting Robin, putting somebody next to Robin and saying,

1259
01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:41,080
Speaker 1: you know, want you to do this this newscast instead,

1260
01:09:41,200 --> 01:09:43,800
Speaker 1: or sitting next to friend and say, don't use that cart,

1261
01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:47,479
Speaker 1: use this card. It was very unnecessary because we were

1262
01:09:48,200 --> 01:09:52,160
Speaker 1: such a smooth, well oiled machine. It was like clockwork.

1263
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:54,320
Speaker 1: For years and years, we didn't even write a bit.

1264
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,439
Speaker 1: You know. Howard would sit down and start talking, I'd

1265
01:09:57,479 --> 01:10:00,880
Speaker 1: start writing. Frederic started playing sounds been would giggle and

1266
01:10:00,920 --> 01:10:03,639
Speaker 1: we were just and they'd be four or five hours later,

1267
01:10:03,720 --> 01:10:05,519
Speaker 1: and you know that at the end of I'd stand

1268
01:10:05,640 --> 01:10:08,120
Speaker 1: up and I go, that was a great show. And

1269
01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:09,920
Speaker 1: they would make fun of me, but it usually was

1270
01:10:09,960 --> 01:10:12,080
Speaker 1: a great show. You know, we get done. We'd laughed

1271
01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:14,200
Speaker 1: for four hours. I go, that was a great show.

1272
01:10:15,040 --> 01:10:17,639
Speaker 1: And it was just at what point? At what point

1273
01:10:17,640 --> 01:10:20,760
Speaker 1: did you start to make real money? Not until later on,

1274
01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:25,320
Speaker 1: you know, like, um that what happened was I started

1275
01:10:25,479 --> 01:10:29,120
Speaker 1: so low. You know, if somebody's given you four dollars

1276
01:10:29,160 --> 01:10:30,800
Speaker 1: a day and all of a sudden they've given you

1277
01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:32,679
Speaker 1: eight dollars a day and they say, hey, we doubled

1278
01:10:32,680 --> 01:10:37,840
Speaker 1: your salary, you know. Um, so I started very low

1279
01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:40,000
Speaker 1: and then I walked out. I think that was the

1280
01:10:40,040 --> 01:10:44,040
Speaker 1: fourth time I had walked out, um, because it just

1281
01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:48,280
Speaker 1: was so unfair. I mean, they were printing money. At

1282
01:10:48,280 --> 01:10:49,920
Speaker 1: one point, I had been off the show for a

1283
01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:54,840
Speaker 1: couple of weeks and uh, Dominic, Barbara called me up

1284
01:10:55,680 --> 01:10:59,840
Speaker 1: and she Jaggy still really needs you. What are you doing.

1285
01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:02,679
Speaker 1: You gotta come back on this show. I said, Domic,

1286
01:11:02,720 --> 01:11:05,120
Speaker 1: I'm not asking for all that kind of crazy money.

1287
01:11:05,120 --> 01:11:08,120
Speaker 1: I'm really not. I deserve more than I'm getting. Oh,

1288
01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:11,519
Speaker 1: come on, it's ridiculous. What what is it? He said,

1289
01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:14,840
Speaker 1: what are you looking for? And I said, I'm looking

1290
01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:18,559
Speaker 1: for four hundred thousand dollars And he said he almost

1291
01:11:18,520 --> 01:11:21,840
Speaker 1: strove about that. He said, everybody thinks you're making a

1292
01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:23,840
Speaker 1: million and a half and you're asking for two and

1293
01:11:23,920 --> 01:11:26,920
Speaker 1: a half. I'm saying no, I was making three hundred thousand.

1294
01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:28,799
Speaker 1: I wanted to make four hundred thousand. We had doubled

1295
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:32,320
Speaker 1: the amount of you know, stations. Blah blah blah. Yeah.

1296
01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:36,600
Speaker 1: I had totally rational thoughts with everything I was. I

1297
01:11:36,680 --> 01:11:38,840
Speaker 1: never tried to price myself out of the ball am.

1298
01:11:38,880 --> 01:11:40,880
Speaker 1: I just tried to get myself into the ball game.

1299
01:11:41,520 --> 01:11:44,240
Speaker 1: But you know, but it's up. You're up against city Wall.

1300
01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:47,479
Speaker 1: Not only was I against city Hall, but Fred had

1301
01:11:47,520 --> 01:11:49,840
Speaker 1: been with Howard forever. And Fred is the greatest guy,

1302
01:11:50,040 --> 01:11:52,479
Speaker 1: and he's a sweetheart, and he would literally take a

1303
01:11:52,520 --> 01:11:58,200
Speaker 1: bullet for Howard. But I would bet my life that

1304
01:11:58,400 --> 01:12:03,599
Speaker 1: in forty years, Fred has never said the words I'd

1305
01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:06,840
Speaker 1: like more. Now if I'm sitting there next to a

1306
01:12:06,920 --> 01:12:09,519
Speaker 1: guy who's been loyal to Howard from day one, and

1307
01:12:09,560 --> 01:12:12,120
Speaker 1: there's never asked for anything, and all of a sudden,

1308
01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:14,760
Speaker 1: I'm well, I'm also and I'm saying, wait, I want

1309
01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:17,360
Speaker 1: some more. It was like, no, why can't you shut up?

1310
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:19,240
Speaker 1: He didn't say this, but why can't you shut the

1311
01:12:19,240 --> 01:12:22,280
Speaker 1: funk up and be like Fred? You know? So I

1312
01:12:22,320 --> 01:12:24,400
Speaker 1: was just fighting to get some more money, and it

1313
01:12:24,520 --> 01:12:26,479
Speaker 1: was I wasn't looking for unfair money. I was looking

1314
01:12:26,520 --> 01:12:29,559
Speaker 1: for money that I thought I deserved. Now, when you're

1315
01:12:29,560 --> 01:12:33,400
Speaker 1: talking to your boss for the company, there's always gonna

1316
01:12:33,439 --> 01:12:35,200
Speaker 1: be you think you deserved this, and they think you

1317
01:12:35,280 --> 01:12:38,160
Speaker 1: deserved this, and there's always gonna be gray area and

1318
01:12:38,240 --> 01:12:41,840
Speaker 1: who's right, who's wrong? Who knows? But you know, I

1319
01:12:41,840 --> 01:12:44,120
Speaker 1: mean then they wound up banding it about on the air.

1320
01:12:44,240 --> 01:12:46,920
Speaker 1: I never heard it, but they said, oh yeah, Jackie

1321
01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:49,240
Speaker 1: wanted two million dollars Jackie one three but you know,

1322
01:12:49,320 --> 01:12:53,679
Speaker 1: but but you know, I asked, and and the offer

1323
01:12:53,720 --> 01:12:57,439
Speaker 1: that was on the table was more than handsome. And

1324
01:12:57,520 --> 01:12:59,519
Speaker 1: I actually called back a couple of months later and said,

1325
01:12:59,560 --> 01:13:01,760
Speaker 1: listen to office still there. I'll take it because I

1326
01:13:02,479 --> 01:13:06,000
Speaker 1: you know, what, are you a radio guy or what what?

1327
01:13:06,160 --> 01:13:09,360
Speaker 1: I don't even know what you do? Radio and podcast?

1328
01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:13,559
Speaker 1: Because what I didn't realize when I left the show.

1329
01:13:14,920 --> 01:13:21,479
Speaker 1: It is an so abnormal, such an unreal thing for

1330
01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:24,000
Speaker 1: three or four people to sit in the room and

1331
01:13:24,120 --> 01:13:27,400
Speaker 1: laugh for four hours a day. It is a it's

1332
01:13:27,439 --> 01:13:32,599
Speaker 1: a it's a illogical situation that just isn't created anywhere else.

1333
01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:36,679
Speaker 1: And it never dawned to me. That's what you missed.

1334
01:13:36,720 --> 01:13:39,000
Speaker 1: You don't miss people saying allody on the street or

1335
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:41,960
Speaker 1: having a million dollars in your bank account, but that,

1336
01:13:42,120 --> 01:13:45,680
Speaker 1: the endorphins and the fun and the laughing, you know,

1337
01:13:45,800 --> 01:13:49,960
Speaker 1: the actual sitting there and having fun far surpassed walking

1338
01:13:49,960 --> 01:13:52,360
Speaker 1: outside and people say, hey, you guys were great today,

1339
01:13:52,960 --> 01:13:56,559
Speaker 1: you know. And uh, but I didn't prace myself by

1340
01:13:56,600 --> 01:13:58,200
Speaker 1: the ball. I mean, then they just didn't come back

1341
01:13:58,200 --> 01:14:00,519
Speaker 1: to me. But you know, I was ready, you know,

1342
01:14:00,920 --> 01:14:03,360
Speaker 1: people did. I did a podcast like last night. That's

1343
01:14:03,360 --> 01:14:04,880
Speaker 1: all I can say is, oh, what an idiot? What

1344
01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:07,760
Speaker 1: an idiot? What an idiot? I'm like, I'm sitting here

1345
01:14:07,760 --> 01:14:09,800
Speaker 1: and I'm ten, and I live on the water in

1346
01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:12,320
Speaker 1: a fucking beautiful house with a great girl, and I

1347
01:14:12,360 --> 01:14:14,479
Speaker 1: lived the life of Riley and I look at my

1348
01:14:14,560 --> 01:14:18,960
Speaker 1: pillow and laugh. Fuck you, you know what I mean? Okay,

1349
01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:22,120
Speaker 1: were you negotiating for yourself. I had a guy, had

1350
01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:26,160
Speaker 1: a great guy, I Larry Shire from Alan Grimman Dusky.

1351
01:14:27,400 --> 01:14:29,240
Speaker 1: So how did you end up on one oh one

1352
01:14:29,800 --> 01:14:33,960
Speaker 1: when that used to have different programming? That is the

1353
01:14:35,720 --> 01:14:41,599
Speaker 1: That is the question for the ages. Um. I didn't

1354
01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:48,439
Speaker 1: go out and do much um. And uh, finally my

1355
01:14:48,520 --> 01:14:50,400
Speaker 1: girlfriend at the time said, you gotta go down there

1356
01:14:50,439 --> 01:14:53,320
Speaker 1: opening up the laugh Factory at forty at Times Square

1357
01:14:53,439 --> 01:14:56,519
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, eighth Avenue and forty two Street,

1358
01:14:56,960 --> 01:14:58,559
Speaker 1: it's a big grand opening. I said, all right. I

1359
01:14:58,600 --> 01:15:03,240
Speaker 1: went down there and everybody's there. I've seen people in

1360
01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:04,880
Speaker 1: a long time, and they said you gotta get and

1361
01:15:04,880 --> 01:15:07,000
Speaker 1: I got up and told maybe ten jokes and hit

1362
01:15:07,200 --> 01:15:10,599
Speaker 1: ten home runs and it felt so good. And there

1363
01:15:10,680 --> 01:15:14,040
Speaker 1: was this young guy there. He said, Jackie, I'm such

1364
01:15:14,040 --> 01:15:16,120
Speaker 1: a big fan. He said, that's so great. He said, listen,

1365
01:15:16,160 --> 01:15:20,240
Speaker 1: I'm doing a show on Serious ex M, a request show.

1366
01:15:21,720 --> 01:15:23,960
Speaker 1: And what happens is people call in and they request

1367
01:15:24,000 --> 01:15:27,160
Speaker 1: the comedian and would you come and join me at

1368
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:30,320
Speaker 1: noon a couple of days. So I went in and

1369
01:15:30,360 --> 01:15:32,360
Speaker 1: it was great because people call in and say rot

1370
01:15:32,560 --> 01:15:35,120
Speaker 1: Red Fox or any young men or something like that,

1371
01:15:35,960 --> 01:15:37,519
Speaker 1: or if he played something like that, and I had

1372
01:15:37,560 --> 01:15:39,920
Speaker 1: a story about everybody, you know, I had met them

1373
01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:42,320
Speaker 1: all or for whatever reason. And it was so much

1374
01:15:42,320 --> 01:15:44,759
Speaker 1: fun hanging out with this guy Phil. And at those

1375
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:50,000
Speaker 1: days when you walked into serious it was like Nasa.

1376
01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:52,680
Speaker 1: I had a big map of the world and the

1377
01:15:52,760 --> 01:15:55,680
Speaker 1: satellites beeping, and everything is brand new, and everyone was

1378
01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:58,439
Speaker 1: so cheerful. It was so wonderful. It was so much money,

1379
01:15:58,960 --> 01:16:01,880
Speaker 1: you know, obviously put into it. Everybody was. It was

1380
01:16:02,240 --> 01:16:09,240
Speaker 1: just a delight. And then at some point a while later, uh,

1381
01:16:09,360 --> 01:16:11,200
Speaker 1: the s guy was a friend of mine, Toby Ludwig

1382
01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:13,639
Speaker 1: talked that they called me up and said, we would

1383
01:16:13,640 --> 01:16:16,360
Speaker 1: like you to be the voice of road Dog. And

1384
01:16:16,479 --> 01:16:19,240
Speaker 1: road Dog is a station on Sirius where I don't

1385
01:16:19,240 --> 01:16:21,880
Speaker 1: know what they do now, but where they play, you know,

1386
01:16:22,080 --> 01:16:24,719
Speaker 1: a big chunk of Dice, a big chunk of red Fox,

1387
01:16:24,760 --> 01:16:27,880
Speaker 1: a big chunk you dirty, dirty stuff. And I was

1388
01:16:27,880 --> 01:16:29,960
Speaker 1: gonna do the wrap rounds Hey, that was Dice. I'm

1389
01:16:30,040 --> 01:16:32,719
Speaker 1: Jackie jump Man, two Jews going to the bar. Ha ha, allright,

1390
01:16:32,840 --> 01:16:36,479
Speaker 1: is David Brenner. And it got to where it was

1391
01:16:37,040 --> 01:16:39,120
Speaker 1: it was ready to be signed, and it was for

1392
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:41,880
Speaker 1: it wasn't for stern money, but it was for a

1393
01:16:41,960 --> 01:16:45,000
Speaker 1: lot of money for a guy that was doing nothing.

1394
01:16:45,479 --> 01:16:52,519
Speaker 1: My my, my accountant told me that when I quit

1395
01:16:52,560 --> 01:16:54,960
Speaker 1: the show, it was like I took a nine eleven

1396
01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:59,840
Speaker 1: to my bank account. That's what I said. So so

1397
01:17:00,200 --> 01:17:02,479
Speaker 1: I'm all of a sudden they say, listen, Jackie, we're sorry,

1398
01:17:02,520 --> 01:17:05,360
Speaker 1: the deal is off the table because we think we're

1399
01:17:05,400 --> 01:17:10,800
Speaker 1: gonna get Howard Stern here. And I actually wanted to

1400
01:17:10,800 --> 01:17:14,200
Speaker 1: say them, listen, guys, if you change your mind and

1401
01:17:14,240 --> 01:17:17,400
Speaker 1: you don't want me, so what, this is show business,

1402
01:17:17,479 --> 01:17:19,200
Speaker 1: but you don't have to make up some whopper of

1403
01:17:19,240 --> 01:17:22,599
Speaker 1: a lie. Because to me, of course, Howard wouldn't come

1404
01:17:22,640 --> 01:17:27,519
Speaker 1: to cable radio because to me, that whole show was

1405
01:17:27,680 --> 01:17:30,639
Speaker 1: dancing right up to the line and dancing around the line.

1406
01:17:31,000 --> 01:17:33,400
Speaker 1: You know, I go to eat at somebody's house, says, hey,

1407
01:17:33,479 --> 01:17:35,280
Speaker 1: be careful with my grandmother's here. I said, what the

1408
01:17:35,320 --> 01:17:38,000
Speaker 1: funk you? We were on the on the air for

1409
01:17:38,080 --> 01:17:41,800
Speaker 1: eighteen years, and I we we we couldn't curse, we

1410
01:17:41,800 --> 01:17:44,800
Speaker 1: we weren't allowed to be dirty. The whole point was

1411
01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:47,240
Speaker 1: we're getting right up to it and stopping on the line,

1412
01:17:47,280 --> 01:17:50,920
Speaker 1: and that's what was making everybody crazy. And so I

1413
01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:53,400
Speaker 1: was sure there was no way he was going to satellite.

1414
01:17:53,720 --> 01:17:55,599
Speaker 1: And then a couple of months later, a big headline

1415
01:17:55,680 --> 01:17:58,920
Speaker 1: Howard Stern going to sirious. I was like, oh, at

1416
01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:02,120
Speaker 1: least they weren't lying, right. So meanwhile, going in to

1417
01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:04,320
Speaker 1: see Phil once a while. And in the course of

1418
01:18:04,320 --> 01:18:06,920
Speaker 1: this that people, everybody's like, Jackie, you gotta come see,

1419
01:18:06,920 --> 01:18:09,360
Speaker 1: you gotta come see. And they walked me back and

1420
01:18:09,439 --> 01:18:13,479
Speaker 1: show me the Stern studios as it was in the

1421
01:18:13,479 --> 01:18:16,040
Speaker 1: progress of being made and being set up and everything.

1422
01:18:16,040 --> 01:18:17,800
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, like I give a fuck.

1423
01:18:17,880 --> 01:18:22,920
Speaker 1: But and then, and I'll never know if this was

1424
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:31,200
Speaker 1: by design Phil's Phil's Show was at the exact opposite

1425
01:18:31,280 --> 01:18:34,600
Speaker 1: end of serious from where the Stern Show is. And

1426
01:18:34,640 --> 01:18:37,559
Speaker 1: one day I was on Phil's Show and I came

1427
01:18:37,600 --> 01:18:40,080
Speaker 1: walking out. We came walking out of the door and

1428
01:18:40,120 --> 01:18:43,920
Speaker 1: Gary Della Batti standing, He said, hey's that hell? You man? Hey,

1429
01:18:43,960 --> 01:18:47,000
Speaker 1: you want to see a new studio? I said, sure,

1430
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:48,559
Speaker 1: and I don't want to getty body in trouble and sad,

1431
01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:50,479
Speaker 1: so are a million times ready. So we're go walking

1432
01:18:50,479 --> 01:18:52,960
Speaker 1: back and we look around it, and you know, it's impressed.

1433
01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:56,040
Speaker 1: It was beautiful. Of course, it's beautiful and then we

1434
01:18:56,160 --> 01:19:00,599
Speaker 1: walked out of a different door and Tim Say was there,

1435
01:19:00,640 --> 01:19:03,599
Speaker 1: who at the time was running everything for the Stern Channels,

1436
01:19:04,360 --> 01:19:06,320
Speaker 1: who had known for you know, thirty years or whatever,

1437
01:19:07,240 --> 01:19:09,200
Speaker 1: and he goes, hey, Jack, it's good to see. He said,

1438
01:19:09,200 --> 01:19:11,560
Speaker 1: how come you don't have a show on on satellite?

1439
01:19:11,640 --> 01:19:14,600
Speaker 1: And I'm like, nobody ever asked me you should have

1440
01:19:14,640 --> 01:19:17,280
Speaker 1: a show on satellite. I'm like, well, tell somebody I

1441
01:19:17,320 --> 01:19:22,040
Speaker 1: would love that. And then he's talking to me saying, uh, yeah,

1442
01:19:22,080 --> 01:19:23,920
Speaker 1: you know, come in, and i'd go in and talk

1443
01:19:23,960 --> 01:19:28,400
Speaker 1: to him and like he's he's a bullshit artist. He's

1444
01:19:28,439 --> 01:19:31,200
Speaker 1: just hems and whares. You know, he's rich. His whole

1445
01:19:31,240 --> 01:19:33,360
Speaker 1: life is making deals. Once the deals made, he's got

1446
01:19:33,360 --> 01:19:37,200
Speaker 1: nothing to do. So finally I wont I'm like, Tim,

1447
01:19:37,240 --> 01:19:39,160
Speaker 1: this is bullshit. I want to show. And I turned around.

1448
01:19:39,200 --> 01:19:43,200
Speaker 1: He had a big, uh calendar of the week, you know,

1449
01:19:43,439 --> 01:19:46,200
Speaker 1: Monday Tuesday, when you know, in all the different slots.

1450
01:19:46,240 --> 01:19:49,800
Speaker 1: I look and said, look, Tuesday five o'clock is open.

1451
01:19:50,120 --> 01:19:53,600
Speaker 1: I'll take Tuesday five to six. And he goes, okay,

1452
01:19:54,320 --> 01:19:58,960
Speaker 1: and so then you know you better talk to Howard okay,

1453
01:19:59,080 --> 01:20:00,880
Speaker 1: And then me and Howard, you know, went out to

1454
01:20:00,960 --> 01:20:04,760
Speaker 1: lunch and went out to dinner and he said, oh,

1455
01:20:04,840 --> 01:20:07,360
Speaker 1: so I hear you're trying to get a show. I'm serious.

1456
01:20:07,439 --> 01:20:11,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, you know, Tim asked me if I

1457
01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:13,920
Speaker 1: wanted to show, you know, like, I'll never know whether

1458
01:20:13,960 --> 01:20:16,880
Speaker 1: Gary fetched me and led me to Tim. And then

1459
01:20:16,920 --> 01:20:20,000
Speaker 1: Tim asked me, because I don't know whether there were

1460
01:20:20,080 --> 01:20:21,760
Speaker 1: I was gonna go on some of the station and

1461
01:20:21,840 --> 01:20:25,200
Speaker 1: have a radio show and talk about who knows, maybe

1462
01:20:25,200 --> 01:20:30,960
Speaker 1: it was totally happenstance, who cares at any rate? I said, yeah,

1463
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:32,599
Speaker 1: I would really like that the show. I think it'd

1464
01:20:32,600 --> 01:20:35,840
Speaker 1: be really fun. And uh and that's how I went

1465
01:20:35,960 --> 01:20:37,479
Speaker 1: up with the show. And then of course it became

1466
01:20:37,520 --> 01:20:40,160
Speaker 1: oh yeah, Jackie came crawling to me for a gig,

1467
01:20:40,280 --> 01:20:42,760
Speaker 1: So what the fuck? I gave him a job, you know,

1468
01:20:43,880 --> 01:20:45,679
Speaker 1: you know, you just learned to live with that ship,

1469
01:20:45,760 --> 01:20:50,160
Speaker 1: you know. And uh, so we did it for eight years.

1470
01:20:51,040 --> 01:20:56,040
Speaker 1: We did four hundred and two Jackie's Joke Cunts and

1471
01:20:56,160 --> 01:20:59,720
Speaker 1: uh it was an hour dirty jokes, short jokes, long

1472
01:20:59,800 --> 01:21:05,000
Speaker 1: Joe pokes, listener jokes, guests told jokes. It was so funny,

1473
01:21:05,160 --> 01:21:08,000
Speaker 1: so fun I had the original cast of Jersey Boys,

1474
01:21:08,080 --> 01:21:14,920
Speaker 1: had Sid Bernstein, Pat Cooper, the tokens a whole a

1475
01:21:15,000 --> 01:21:20,320
Speaker 1: whole smattering of of who's who's that, you know, and

1476
01:21:20,400 --> 01:21:23,000
Speaker 1: everybody told the joke. I told a joke, Ian, my

1477
01:21:23,640 --> 01:21:26,760
Speaker 1: co partner, My partner told a joke, the engineer told

1478
01:21:26,800 --> 01:21:29,040
Speaker 1: the joke, the guy working the board told the joke,

1479
01:21:29,120 --> 01:21:31,599
Speaker 1: the guy answering the phones told the joke, the guests

1480
01:21:31,640 --> 01:21:34,559
Speaker 1: told the joke. It and it just was a free

1481
01:21:34,560 --> 01:21:37,680
Speaker 1: for all, and with the jokes went on and on

1482
01:21:37,760 --> 01:21:41,160
Speaker 1: and on and on and and they replayed they replayed

1483
01:21:41,160 --> 01:21:43,760
Speaker 1: it like five or six times a week, you know,

1484
01:21:43,840 --> 01:21:45,880
Speaker 1: which was great for me, you know, which I loved.

1485
01:21:45,920 --> 01:21:48,240
Speaker 1: And then they, after like six years, one day we

1486
01:21:48,320 --> 01:21:51,640
Speaker 1: walked in and and said that before we got a

1487
01:21:51,720 --> 01:21:55,880
Speaker 1: chance to tell Tim we want to raise now they

1488
01:21:55,920 --> 01:21:58,400
Speaker 1: we They made a deal with us and then paid

1489
01:21:58,479 --> 01:22:00,800
Speaker 1: us much less than the deal was supposed to be.

1490
01:22:01,360 --> 01:22:03,040
Speaker 1: And then we went on like that for six years.

1491
01:22:03,040 --> 01:22:04,800
Speaker 1: Then we went in to tell him we want more money.

1492
01:22:04,840 --> 01:22:07,560
Speaker 1: And that's when he said, we're cutting you down to

1493
01:22:07,680 --> 01:22:11,479
Speaker 1: once a month, as it makes no sense to do

1494
01:22:11,520 --> 01:22:13,680
Speaker 1: a show once a month. I said, just pay us

1495
01:22:13,720 --> 01:22:15,880
Speaker 1: for once a month and we'll still still do it

1496
01:22:15,920 --> 01:22:20,519
Speaker 1: once a week. So pay got slashed by a quarter.

1497
01:22:21,800 --> 01:22:24,080
Speaker 1: And then it was like by the end of the

1498
01:22:24,080 --> 01:22:27,640
Speaker 1: eighth year, close to the eighth year, they out of

1499
01:22:27,680 --> 01:22:33,120
Speaker 1: a clear sky. They decided to let us go a

1500
01:22:33,160 --> 01:22:36,840
Speaker 1: week before Thanksgiving and they were having a huge Now

1501
01:22:36,880 --> 01:22:38,720
Speaker 1: you can interpret this, how you want to having a

1502
01:22:38,840 --> 01:22:43,240
Speaker 1: huge party for Howard's sixt birthday birthday and it's a

1503
01:22:43,360 --> 01:22:47,120
Speaker 1: serious x M is throwing the party for Howard. We're

1504
01:22:47,160 --> 01:22:50,360
Speaker 1: not only on Serious x M me and Ian, but

1505
01:22:50,520 --> 01:22:54,400
Speaker 1: we're on Howard's channel one oh one on serious x M.

1506
01:22:55,040 --> 01:22:59,960
Speaker 1: And the entire world is invited to Howard's birthday party

1507
01:23:00,040 --> 01:23:03,519
Speaker 1: except for me in the end. Now you you can

1508
01:23:03,560 --> 01:23:06,759
Speaker 1: interpret that? Hell yeah, I you I countless friend said Jackie,

1509
01:23:06,880 --> 01:23:09,240
Speaker 1: can I be your plus one at Howard's party? And

1510
01:23:09,280 --> 01:23:12,320
Speaker 1: I would tell them We're not invited, and nobody believes.

1511
01:23:12,720 --> 01:23:16,080
Speaker 1: Just no, it was It was pretty pretty impossible to believe.

1512
01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:19,880
Speaker 1: But not for me because I know, because I know

1513
01:23:20,040 --> 01:23:23,040
Speaker 1: if one person walked up to Howard as the sixtieth

1514
01:23:23,080 --> 01:23:25,679
Speaker 1: thirthday party and said, Howard, man, it's great to see

1515
01:23:25,800 --> 01:23:29,320
Speaker 1: Jackie again, that would erect this fucking night. And I

1516
01:23:30,080 --> 01:23:34,320
Speaker 1: know that sounds for the ultimate time. Huh. So what

1517
01:23:34,520 --> 01:23:40,639
Speaker 1: is your relationship with Howard, you know there is none. Um,

1518
01:23:40,720 --> 01:23:43,120
Speaker 1: I'm sure if somebody said, how's the relationship with Jackie?

1519
01:23:43,240 --> 01:23:46,120
Speaker 1: Say fine? You know, people say you guys still friends,

1520
01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:49,759
Speaker 1: and I'm not comfortable saying I'm still friends with somebody

1521
01:23:49,800 --> 01:23:54,800
Speaker 1: that I haven't physically seen in five or seven years.

1522
01:23:54,840 --> 01:23:56,920
Speaker 1: I went on the show maybe seven or eight years

1523
01:23:56,960 --> 01:24:01,360
Speaker 1: ago to promote something, you know, briefly, and it was great.

1524
01:24:01,400 --> 01:24:07,960
Speaker 1: And you know this and the things that sound pompous

1525
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:10,160
Speaker 1: that aren't really pompous. It's funny because I just read

1526
01:24:10,200 --> 01:24:13,479
Speaker 1: about this in Jackie Gleeson's biography and it just struck

1527
01:24:13,560 --> 01:24:17,360
Speaker 1: me great. I have Howard's funny bone, which sounds like

1528
01:24:17,360 --> 01:24:22,360
Speaker 1: a a made up thing. But there's some people that

1529
01:24:22,760 --> 01:24:26,800
Speaker 1: the chemistry between people I can make him laugh at

1530
01:24:26,840 --> 01:24:30,040
Speaker 1: will I just can't just with from the same place

1531
01:24:30,720 --> 01:24:33,680
Speaker 1: we have. Yeah, it's it's hard to explain, but I

1532
01:24:33,720 --> 01:24:36,360
Speaker 1: can bury him very easily. Not not something ha ha

1533
01:24:36,520 --> 01:24:39,120
Speaker 1: funny that anybody else would laugh at, but I got

1534
01:24:39,120 --> 01:24:42,200
Speaker 1: his funny bone, and and he can't help it. But

1535
01:24:42,320 --> 01:24:45,080
Speaker 1: he likes me a lot, and it's it's very weird.

1536
01:24:45,760 --> 01:24:49,400
Speaker 1: And he really had Sophie's choice because he, you know,

1537
01:24:49,520 --> 01:24:52,960
Speaker 1: he was already so so rich, and he had a

1538
01:24:53,000 --> 01:24:56,000
Speaker 1: guy sitting right next to him that made him laugh

1539
01:24:56,479 --> 01:24:59,240
Speaker 1: for four hour forget about making the people laugh, made

1540
01:24:59,320 --> 01:25:03,080
Speaker 1: him laugh for four hours a day. He went to

1541
01:25:03,160 --> 01:25:06,560
Speaker 1: work known he was gonna have a good time every day,

1542
01:25:06,680 --> 01:25:10,160
Speaker 1: and he let that go, which is a it's a

1543
01:25:10,200 --> 01:25:12,600
Speaker 1: tough call. I you know, I can never put my

1544
01:25:12,680 --> 01:25:15,280
Speaker 1: finger on it, and I it's not and I'm not

1545
01:25:15,320 --> 01:25:17,519
Speaker 1: flipping a coin. I mean, I can make the guy laugh,

1546
01:25:17,680 --> 01:25:22,280
Speaker 1: and it's it's a little bit weird. I don't know.

1547
01:25:24,520 --> 01:25:26,000
Speaker 1: At one point I said to him, you know what,

1548
01:25:26,040 --> 01:25:28,040
Speaker 1: if we could make a lot, you could make a

1549
01:25:28,080 --> 01:25:31,080
Speaker 1: lot of money for charity. Somebody just said, all right,

1550
01:25:31,120 --> 01:25:34,160
Speaker 1: let's put Howard and Jackie in a room by themselves

1551
01:25:34,200 --> 01:25:36,479
Speaker 1: for a half hour on New Year's Eve some night.

1552
01:25:37,240 --> 01:25:38,760
Speaker 1: You know, I would love to say to him, let's

1553
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:41,880
Speaker 1: sit and have a talk on cable and charge money

1554
01:25:41,960 --> 01:25:46,120
Speaker 1: and give the money to charity or whatever. But he

1555
01:25:46,240 --> 01:25:48,519
Speaker 1: just never would do it. You know, no writers, no

1556
01:25:48,640 --> 01:25:52,760
Speaker 1: extra people, no Robin giggling, just us fucking around, you know.

1557
01:25:52,800 --> 01:25:56,840
Speaker 1: But he's not built for a level playing field, you know.

1558
01:25:58,120 --> 01:26:00,720
Speaker 1: But it's it's a high. It's a hard thing to

1559
01:26:00,760 --> 01:26:02,400
Speaker 1: put your finger on, you know, I mean I got

1560
01:26:02,560 --> 01:26:05,519
Speaker 1: birthday cards from him. I'm sure that Howard's got his

1561
01:26:05,600 --> 01:26:07,600
Speaker 1: take on it, but that's not where we're coming. Oh No,

1562
01:26:07,720 --> 01:26:10,000
Speaker 1: I would love, I would give anything to hear his

1563
01:26:10,120 --> 01:26:13,479
Speaker 1: take on it. You know, it would be stupid. He

1564
01:26:13,520 --> 01:26:15,360
Speaker 1: walked away from a lot of money. I didn't really

1565
01:26:15,360 --> 01:26:17,200
Speaker 1: need him. I was doing him a favor. You know,

1566
01:26:17,439 --> 01:26:20,320
Speaker 1: I've never heard his take on it, but I'm sure

1567
01:26:20,360 --> 01:26:23,640
Speaker 1: it would be it would be dismissive. It wouldn't be

1568
01:26:24,800 --> 01:26:28,800
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be an explanation. It would be dismissive. Well,

1569
01:26:28,840 --> 01:26:31,400
Speaker 1: whatever history you guys have is between the two of you.

1570
01:26:31,800 --> 01:26:34,599
Speaker 1: But do you ever or since you've been off this show,

1571
01:26:35,439 --> 01:26:38,799
Speaker 1: ever listened to it. That's another thing that people always

1572
01:26:38,840 --> 01:26:40,960
Speaker 1: ask me. And it's very funny because I never listened

1573
01:26:40,960 --> 01:26:44,960
Speaker 1: to it when I was on it. I never listened

1574
01:26:44,960 --> 01:26:48,080
Speaker 1: to the best of when we're on vacation, I have

1575
01:26:48,240 --> 01:26:51,400
Speaker 1: never listened to two seconds of it. And what's really

1576
01:26:51,439 --> 01:26:53,760
Speaker 1: funny is the only time I really listened to the

1577
01:26:53,760 --> 01:26:56,559
Speaker 1: show was when I first met him, because I had

1578
01:26:56,600 --> 01:26:59,320
Speaker 1: no idea what was going on. And that's how I

1579
01:26:59,439 --> 01:27:03,400
Speaker 1: found out he used to do a character, a black

1580
01:27:04,280 --> 01:27:09,040
Speaker 1: traffic reporter named Mama Look a Booble Day, and I

1581
01:27:09,080 --> 01:27:12,240
Speaker 1: gave him a whole bunch of black type chokes, you know,

1582
01:27:12,400 --> 01:27:17,599
Speaker 1: like weird, weird stuff for that for that character. And

1583
01:27:17,640 --> 01:27:20,400
Speaker 1: when I came back in the next week or two

1584
01:27:20,439 --> 01:27:22,080
Speaker 1: weeks later, I handed it to him. He looked at

1585
01:27:22,120 --> 01:27:25,280
Speaker 1: me like, I don't need this, you know. And then

1586
01:27:25,320 --> 01:27:29,440
Speaker 1: I was listening to the show and I heard him

1587
01:27:29,560 --> 01:27:31,880
Speaker 1: using some of the stuff I had given him. So

1588
01:27:31,920 --> 01:27:34,920
Speaker 1: the next time I walked in and said, hey, there's

1589
01:27:34,960 --> 01:27:37,360
Speaker 1: some jokes, and he was like, you know, thank you.

1590
01:27:38,280 --> 01:27:44,360
Speaker 1: But what's really funny is I was listening to the show.

1591
01:27:44,800 --> 01:27:47,559
Speaker 1: This is like this had to be three. I just

1592
01:27:47,720 --> 01:27:52,360
Speaker 1: joined the show, and I love the story because I

1593
01:27:52,400 --> 01:27:54,320
Speaker 1: was in the kitchen at the house. I was written

1594
01:27:54,360 --> 01:27:56,439
Speaker 1: me and then answer were written, and I was standing

1595
01:27:56,479 --> 01:28:01,080
Speaker 1: on a stool in the kitchen, a step stool, fixing something.

1596
01:28:01,320 --> 01:28:04,200
Speaker 1: And the reason I remember is because I don't fix anything.

1597
01:28:04,600 --> 01:28:06,320
Speaker 1: I have no idea why I was, but I was

1598
01:28:06,400 --> 01:28:10,240
Speaker 1: up on this step stepping stool and Gary came in

1599
01:28:10,280 --> 01:28:12,519
Speaker 1: and said, Hey, how the girl he is says he

1600
01:28:12,600 --> 01:28:16,519
Speaker 1: wants to get naked, and he said, really, well, have

1601
01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:19,479
Speaker 1: her come in and she came in. She said Hi, Howard.

1602
01:28:19,560 --> 01:28:22,719
Speaker 1: He said hi, and he says, have a seat. He says,

1603
01:28:23,520 --> 01:28:27,439
Speaker 1: who you? And she says, my name's Maria. And I

1604
01:28:27,520 --> 01:28:30,840
Speaker 1: worked the door at the Comedy Factory outlet in Philadelphia,

1605
01:28:31,080 --> 01:28:35,160
Speaker 1: and my favorite comedian is Jackie Martlin, and I almost

1606
01:28:35,200 --> 01:28:38,400
Speaker 1: fell off the fucking stool. I have not heard I've

1607
01:28:38,439 --> 01:28:41,919
Speaker 1: never spoken to one person that remembers hearing that wherever

1608
01:28:42,720 --> 01:28:44,920
Speaker 1: as her. I don't know if it exists on best

1609
01:28:44,960 --> 01:28:48,320
Speaker 1: of or whether it was chopped out. But I couldn't

1610
01:28:48,320 --> 01:28:52,599
Speaker 1: make up that story. But that was way way way back,

1611
01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:57,000
Speaker 1: and you know, I would just listen. Once I listened

1612
01:28:57,000 --> 01:28:59,040
Speaker 1: and got the gist what he was doing, and I

1613
01:28:59,040 --> 01:29:01,040
Speaker 1: would give him some Joe. So I didn't I didn't

1614
01:29:01,080 --> 01:29:03,000
Speaker 1: listen like to see if he was using any you know,

1615
01:29:03,640 --> 01:29:05,240
Speaker 1: I was just I was just trying to get my

1616
01:29:05,240 --> 01:29:07,479
Speaker 1: foot in the door. That's all I cared about. You.

1617
01:29:07,920 --> 01:29:10,680
Speaker 1: So out of your tenure there, what are two or

1618
01:29:10,720 --> 01:29:14,599
Speaker 1: three highlights other than bullshooting with the gang and having

1619
01:29:14,600 --> 01:29:20,759
Speaker 1: fun um sitting knees and you know the first actually

1620
01:29:20,800 --> 01:29:24,479
Speaker 1: the second studio we had was so tiny that where

1621
01:29:24,520 --> 01:29:28,759
Speaker 1: I sat, the guests sat at a forty five degree

1622
01:29:28,800 --> 01:29:32,679
Speaker 1: angle to me, so close that literally my right knee

1623
01:29:33,160 --> 01:29:36,680
Speaker 1: would just about be banging their left knee. And we

1624
01:29:36,680 --> 01:29:39,360
Speaker 1: had James Taylor on the show, and he sat there

1625
01:29:40,320 --> 01:29:44,800
Speaker 1: and sang four songs knees to knees with me, and

1626
01:29:44,800 --> 01:29:48,120
Speaker 1: in between songs, I'm writing insults about James Taylor, who

1627
01:29:48,160 --> 01:29:52,519
Speaker 1: I fucking loved beyond any stretch of the imagination. And

1628
01:29:53,760 --> 01:29:56,640
Speaker 1: were sitting there on our knees are touching, and I

1629
01:29:56,680 --> 01:30:00,840
Speaker 1: said to myself, you know, I bet and nobody has

1630
01:30:00,920 --> 01:30:05,639
Speaker 1: ever sat this close to James Taylor when he sang before,

1631
01:30:05,760 --> 01:30:10,080
Speaker 1: because there would be no reason for anybody, even if

1632
01:30:10,080 --> 01:30:11,840
Speaker 1: they were a fan, they would never go and put

1633
01:30:11,880 --> 01:30:14,760
Speaker 1: the seat this close. It was like it was. It

1634
01:30:14,880 --> 01:30:19,960
Speaker 1: was absolutely surreal, and that strikes me as so great. Um.

1635
01:30:20,000 --> 01:30:25,519
Speaker 1: Another unbelievable time was a guy came in. He was

1636
01:30:25,520 --> 01:30:28,200
Speaker 1: sitting in the same exact place, and Howard started with

1637
01:30:28,280 --> 01:30:31,840
Speaker 1: his regular crap, you know, like, hey man, thanks for

1638
01:30:31,960 --> 01:30:34,200
Speaker 1: coming in, all right, hey hoy, you tell me how

1639
01:30:34,240 --> 01:30:36,519
Speaker 1: big is your penis? And the guy was like, don't

1640
01:30:36,600 --> 01:30:39,760
Speaker 1: don't start with me, man, you don't start with me.

1641
01:30:39,880 --> 01:30:42,519
Speaker 1: I'm not your dancing monkey. Man. I'll come right over

1642
01:30:42,560 --> 01:30:45,200
Speaker 1: and right away Gary and Ronnie are right behind him.

1643
01:30:45,439 --> 01:30:48,000
Speaker 1: I mean, this guy went from zero to sixty in

1644
01:30:48,080 --> 01:30:51,559
Speaker 1: a flash, and he was crazy hot. And I said

1645
01:30:51,600 --> 01:30:56,719
Speaker 1: to myself, Jesus Christ, this this guy's gonna kill somebody.

1646
01:30:56,960 --> 01:31:03,200
Speaker 1: And it was Robert Blake. That is funny. That is

1647
01:31:03,360 --> 01:31:07,320
Speaker 1: very funny. Scary but funny. Oh my god. And and

1648
01:31:07,600 --> 01:31:14,080
Speaker 1: one time we're sitting there and um, six fifteen in

1649
01:31:14,080 --> 01:31:20,000
Speaker 1: the morning, just bursting through the door was Sam Kinnison,

1650
01:31:20,479 --> 01:31:24,920
Speaker 1: Pat McCormick, Chuck McCann and Jack Riley from the old

1651
01:31:24,960 --> 01:31:27,840
Speaker 1: New Heart show that Samon got done and at the

1652
01:31:27,880 --> 01:31:33,000
Speaker 1: comics at the Comedy, uh, Comedy Factory whatever it's called,

1653
01:31:33,439 --> 01:31:38,719
Speaker 1: the Comedy in Los Angeles, and uh, he said, come on, guys,

1654
01:31:38,800 --> 01:31:40,800
Speaker 1: let's go. You see the how its stern showing. They

1655
01:31:40,840 --> 01:31:43,599
Speaker 1: hupped in his jet and did coke all the way

1656
01:31:43,600 --> 01:31:45,799
Speaker 1: to New York and came bursting in at six fifteen

1657
01:31:45,840 --> 01:31:47,600
Speaker 1: in the morning and they were right behind me and

1658
01:31:47,600 --> 01:31:50,519
Speaker 1: I'm looking at looking at the Mount Rushmore of comedy.

1659
01:31:50,560 --> 01:31:54,040
Speaker 1: It was like just unbelievable, and you know, and stuff

1660
01:31:54,080 --> 01:31:55,920
Speaker 1: like that just went on, and you know, we're in

1661
01:31:56,120 --> 01:32:02,479
Speaker 1: England for a week. We broadcast from the room, the

1662
01:32:02,560 --> 01:32:06,400
Speaker 1: room in abbey Road where it all happened, the actual

1663
01:32:06,600 --> 01:32:09,519
Speaker 1: fucking room in abbey Road. I never to this day.

1664
01:32:09,560 --> 01:32:12,200
Speaker 1: I got the chills thinking about it. And then we

1665
01:32:12,240 --> 01:32:14,519
Speaker 1: went to the Princess Trust concert and was sitting up

1666
01:32:14,560 --> 01:32:18,280
Speaker 1: in one of these little, you know, ballrooms doing radio,

1667
01:32:18,880 --> 01:32:22,120
Speaker 1: and the bags sat across from me Howard and Robin

1668
01:32:22,400 --> 01:32:26,200
Speaker 1: and sang a capella from from me to the screen

1669
01:32:26,280 --> 01:32:28,920
Speaker 1: or you know. I mean, I could go on and on,

1670
01:32:29,000 --> 01:32:31,120
Speaker 1: and I thought that ship was just like and it

1671
01:32:31,240 --> 01:32:33,439
Speaker 1: was happening so fast you didn't get a chance to

1672
01:32:33,479 --> 01:32:36,040
Speaker 1: digest anything, you know. I was just going through my

1673
01:32:36,080 --> 01:32:39,640
Speaker 1: notes and I found a scan letter from Kurt Vonnegut

1674
01:32:39,680 --> 01:32:42,800
Speaker 1: that he had written in n to his family on

1675
01:32:42,840 --> 01:32:45,920
Speaker 1: an old typewriter, and it was signed, I mean, it

1676
01:32:46,040 --> 01:32:50,479
Speaker 1: was a scan, but it was a scan. He must

1677
01:32:50,520 --> 01:32:52,560
Speaker 1: assigned it and given it to some people because it

1678
01:32:52,640 --> 01:32:56,200
Speaker 1: said seasons greetings. And there was a guy who was

1679
01:32:56,240 --> 01:32:58,200
Speaker 1: a fan out and you know, these people that were

1680
01:32:58,200 --> 01:33:00,280
Speaker 1: fans like, what can we do for the you know,

1681
01:33:00,280 --> 01:33:02,880
Speaker 1: and they knew Howard got everything, so they sent occasionally

1682
01:33:02,960 --> 01:33:06,960
Speaker 1: they send stuff to me or Fred or Gary. It

1683
01:33:07,080 --> 01:33:09,559
Speaker 1: was beyond exciting, and it just it just went on

1684
01:33:09,680 --> 01:33:13,200
Speaker 1: and on and on. Okay, so, who are the greatest

1685
01:33:13,200 --> 01:33:18,240
Speaker 1: comedians ever? Me leaving you out of it? Bill Mahr

1686
01:33:18,360 --> 01:33:20,639
Speaker 1: says the same thing about himself. We're taking you out

1687
01:33:20,640 --> 01:33:23,360
Speaker 1: of it. No, there is there is no greatest you know,

1688
01:33:23,680 --> 01:33:26,519
Speaker 1: and I am not a fair judge because I don't know.

1689
01:33:26,960 --> 01:33:30,719
Speaker 1: You know, people say, who's to me, the new comedian

1690
01:33:30,840 --> 01:33:33,360
Speaker 1: is Chris Rock, you know what I mean? I'm not.

1691
01:33:34,320 --> 01:33:36,360
Speaker 1: I was the you just know I don't want to

1692
01:33:36,400 --> 01:33:41,680
Speaker 1: go deep. No. I was was the you just fan

1693
01:33:41,800 --> 01:33:45,640
Speaker 1: in the world of Rodney Dangerfield. And the fact that

1694
01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:50,760
Speaker 1: I wound up and step with him is so beyond anything. Like.

1695
01:33:51,200 --> 01:33:53,479
Speaker 1: I wasn't a comic. I had no intention of ever

1696
01:33:53,560 --> 01:33:57,679
Speaker 1: becoming a comic, because it never dawned on me that

1697
01:33:57,680 --> 01:34:00,640
Speaker 1: that was a choice anybody can make, you know. I

1698
01:34:00,680 --> 01:34:03,280
Speaker 1: always thought show business you had to be chosen. I'll

1699
01:34:03,400 --> 01:34:07,280
Speaker 1: not like there some things I remember so vague so vividly.

1700
01:34:08,320 --> 01:34:10,960
Speaker 1: In my band in college. It was this big fat drummer,

1701
01:34:11,040 --> 01:34:14,320
Speaker 1: Nick Petrovitch, and we had just all started getting together

1702
01:34:16,080 --> 01:34:20,040
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm it just goes to show what an

1703
01:34:20,040 --> 01:34:23,519
Speaker 1: idiot I am. Somebody said, Nick, what's your major? And

1704
01:34:23,560 --> 01:34:27,040
Speaker 1: he said, radio and TV, and you could have knocked

1705
01:34:27,080 --> 01:34:30,759
Speaker 1: me over with a feather. I was like, what, what

1706
01:34:30,760 --> 01:34:32,559
Speaker 1: what do you mean that though you're major, you don't

1707
01:34:32,560 --> 01:34:35,960
Speaker 1: get to choose that that chooses you. You know you don't.

1708
01:34:36,680 --> 01:34:38,680
Speaker 1: It never drawn to me that was a path that

1709
01:34:38,720 --> 01:34:41,879
Speaker 1: you could choose and pursue, as stupid as that sounds.

1710
01:34:42,520 --> 01:34:44,479
Speaker 1: And as far as being a comedian, I never knew

1711
01:34:44,520 --> 01:34:46,840
Speaker 1: it was something you could work towards. I thought they

1712
01:34:46,880 --> 01:34:49,679
Speaker 1: just annointed you just like class clown. Like somebody said,

1713
01:34:49,680 --> 01:34:51,719
Speaker 1: all right, you know, George Colin, you're gonna be really

1714
01:34:51,760 --> 01:34:54,960
Speaker 1: funny or whatever, and uh, I had no intention of

1715
01:34:55,000 --> 01:34:58,160
Speaker 1: being a comic. But I love to laugh at any

1716
01:34:58,160 --> 01:35:00,880
Speaker 1: young man's jokes. And when was in the band, we

1717
01:35:00,920 --> 01:35:03,519
Speaker 1: had all the Red Fox's old albums because they were

1718
01:35:03,560 --> 01:35:07,479
Speaker 1: just filthy jokes, filthy jokes, and I was a great lamp.

1719
01:35:07,560 --> 01:35:11,599
Speaker 1: My mother his favorite thing was to watch me watch

1720
01:35:11,640 --> 01:35:14,200
Speaker 1: Red Skelton because I got such a kick out of

1721
01:35:14,200 --> 01:35:17,479
Speaker 1: Red Skelton enjoying himself and laughing at himself. So she'd

1722
01:35:17,520 --> 01:35:21,639
Speaker 1: watch me because I would howl watching him, and I'm

1723
01:35:21,680 --> 01:35:25,160
Speaker 1: sure I became that. But Rodney, you know, he would

1724
01:35:25,160 --> 01:35:26,920
Speaker 1: go on and then we'd all call each other up

1725
01:35:26,920 --> 01:35:29,320
Speaker 1: and quote the lines back and forth and back and forth.

1726
01:35:30,479 --> 01:35:34,519
Speaker 1: And when I first started toying with comedy, uh this

1727
01:35:34,960 --> 01:35:37,200
Speaker 1: a couple of guys working at this place called Richard M.

1728
01:35:37,200 --> 01:35:39,840
Speaker 1: Dixon's White House in and Dixon wouldn't pay us. So

1729
01:35:40,520 --> 01:35:42,920
Speaker 1: me and this guy, Richard and Richie Mannavini, decided to

1730
01:35:42,960 --> 01:35:45,240
Speaker 1: start our own show, which is where I recorded my

1731
01:35:45,280 --> 01:35:48,479
Speaker 1: first album. But when we first started, I'm living at

1732
01:35:48,680 --> 01:35:51,360
Speaker 1: the house with after my grandmother died, and Richie would

1733
01:35:51,360 --> 01:35:55,840
Speaker 1: stay there sometimes and comics lie. In the beginning, comics lie,

1734
01:35:55,920 --> 01:35:58,600
Speaker 1: it was still lie because you want to, you know,

1735
01:35:58,640 --> 01:36:00,680
Speaker 1: you gotta build yourself up. And Richie came in one

1736
01:36:00,760 --> 01:36:02,400
Speaker 1: night and says, hey, man, I went on the Danger

1737
01:36:02,479 --> 01:36:05,519
Speaker 1: Fields tonight and I killed man. And Rodney you saw me.

1738
01:36:05,600 --> 01:36:08,000
Speaker 1: Rodney loved me. He's gonna use me on TV. It

1739
01:36:08,160 --> 01:36:10,240
Speaker 1: was greatest. Man. I can't and I tell you I

1740
01:36:11,040 --> 01:36:14,040
Speaker 1: when I repeat that right now, I'm still jealous. So

1741
01:36:14,120 --> 01:36:16,920
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, and I sat down and

1742
01:36:17,640 --> 01:36:22,160
Speaker 1: took paper and made carbons, and every joke that I told,

1743
01:36:22,360 --> 01:36:24,240
Speaker 1: or that I knew, or that I could think of,

1744
01:36:24,720 --> 01:36:28,679
Speaker 1: that I could put in Rodney's speak. I typed out.

1745
01:36:28,720 --> 01:36:32,600
Speaker 1: I typed out six pages of jokes. One of the

1746
01:36:32,720 --> 01:36:35,519
Speaker 1: jokes that I had come across. A couple of weeks ago,

1747
01:36:36,479 --> 01:36:40,960
Speaker 1: a friend of mine was in Peru selling and buying

1748
01:36:41,120 --> 01:36:44,759
Speaker 1: cocaine and doing cocaine. And he called me from Peru

1749
01:36:44,920 --> 01:36:47,360
Speaker 1: and he said, Chief, this guy just told me the

1750
01:36:47,360 --> 01:36:49,880
Speaker 1: funniest joke I ever heard. You gotta stay awake. I

1751
01:36:49,880 --> 01:36:51,880
Speaker 1: know you probably drunk, but stay awake. You had to

1752
01:36:51,920 --> 01:36:55,240
Speaker 1: hear this. And he told me this joke by Tennessee Bob,

1753
01:36:55,760 --> 01:36:58,759
Speaker 1: and I thought it was really funny, and I wrote

1754
01:36:58,760 --> 01:37:01,920
Speaker 1: it down. So among the six pages of jokes that

1755
01:37:02,000 --> 01:37:05,400
Speaker 1: I sent to Rodney was this joke. I wrote these.

1756
01:37:05,520 --> 01:37:08,679
Speaker 1: I wrote these jokes all out, folded them up, putting

1757
01:37:08,680 --> 01:37:10,800
Speaker 1: them an envelope. And next time Richie came into my house,

1758
01:37:10,840 --> 01:37:13,400
Speaker 1: I said, Richie, please do me a favor and give

1759
01:37:13,439 --> 01:37:17,240
Speaker 1: these jokes to your friend Rodney. And Richie got embarrassed.

1760
01:37:17,280 --> 01:37:21,720
Speaker 1: He said, oh man, he said, I lied. He said

1761
01:37:21,760 --> 01:37:24,439
Speaker 1: I didn't meet Rodney. I didn't even get on stage

1762
01:37:24,479 --> 01:37:27,240
Speaker 1: that night, but I did go. I swear to god,

1763
01:37:27,280 --> 01:37:29,559
Speaker 1: I went this two story. You don't have to believe, Bob.

1764
01:37:29,600 --> 01:37:33,439
Speaker 1: He reached his pocket and took out a matchbook and said,

1765
01:37:33,720 --> 01:37:38,439
Speaker 1: you know, Rodney going, you know, one thousand one First Avenue,

1766
01:37:38,600 --> 01:37:42,759
Speaker 1: New York, New York. There's the address. I just wrote

1767
01:37:43,160 --> 01:37:46,080
Speaker 1: the address underneath where I'd written Rodney danger Field on

1768
01:37:46,120 --> 01:37:48,120
Speaker 1: the envelope. I had already written the jokes. They were

1769
01:37:48,120 --> 01:37:49,960
Speaker 1: already in the envelope. What do I got to lose?

1770
01:37:50,000 --> 01:37:51,719
Speaker 1: I put on a stamp and put it in the mail,

1771
01:37:52,600 --> 01:37:55,400
Speaker 1: And two days later, the phone rings, and nobody knows

1772
01:37:56,800 --> 01:37:59,400
Speaker 1: the phone number. Then my grandmother's dead. Everybody she knew

1773
01:37:59,680 --> 01:38:02,879
Speaker 1: were head, So who the hell would call there? Pioneer

1774
01:38:02,920 --> 01:38:05,519
Speaker 1: six to five for one, you learned that when you're

1775
01:38:05,560 --> 01:38:09,120
Speaker 1: three years old, your grandmother's phone number, the phone rings,

1776
01:38:09,160 --> 01:38:15,280
Speaker 1: I answer, I go hello, Hello, who's this this Rodday?

1777
01:38:15,479 --> 01:38:18,719
Speaker 1: He said? Rodney? Who oh? I knew you were fucking funny.

1778
01:38:18,720 --> 01:38:20,840
Speaker 1: I knew you were funny. And my girlfriend's like, who

1779
01:38:20,920 --> 01:38:23,839
Speaker 1: is it? That's Rodney Dangefields, just bullshit, who is it? Richiet?

1780
01:38:23,960 --> 01:38:27,200
Speaker 1: Fucking Rodney? You know the funny? Shoot is I'm really funny?

1781
01:38:27,280 --> 01:38:29,720
Speaker 1: This fucking two bags. The funniest joke I ever read.

1782
01:38:29,800 --> 01:38:32,080
Speaker 1: You know, the joke that he fell in love with

1783
01:38:33,280 --> 01:38:36,479
Speaker 1: was the girl was known as a Tennessee two bagger.

1784
01:38:36,640 --> 01:38:38,439
Speaker 1: That's the girl is so ugly. You're not only got

1785
01:38:38,439 --> 01:38:40,880
Speaker 1: to put a bag over her head, you gotta put

1786
01:38:40,880 --> 01:38:44,679
Speaker 1: a bag over your own head in case her bag rips. Well,

1787
01:38:44,720 --> 01:38:47,599
Speaker 1: he went fucking nuts for that, and he said, here,

1788
01:38:47,680 --> 01:38:49,439
Speaker 1: come to Westbury, you know, come to Westbury. You know

1789
01:38:49,439 --> 01:38:51,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna buy I think four of these jokes. I

1790
01:38:51,240 --> 01:38:53,040
Speaker 1: love him, you know, come on, could be my guest,

1791
01:38:53,080 --> 01:38:55,400
Speaker 1: bring your girl. So I went to We went to

1792
01:38:55,400 --> 01:38:58,800
Speaker 1: see him in Westbury's VENTI seven. I got a ponytail

1793
01:38:58,840 --> 01:39:01,600
Speaker 1: down my back and orang jeans, and I got a

1794
01:39:01,640 --> 01:39:04,559
Speaker 1: girlfriend ten years younger who was beautiful. And he's fucking

1795
01:39:04,600 --> 01:39:06,920
Speaker 1: his eyes are spinning, you know, He's like, oh, she's

1796
01:39:06,960 --> 01:39:09,160
Speaker 1: sucking beautiful. I have a piece of fruit, some funny

1797
01:39:09,240 --> 01:39:10,960
Speaker 1: fucking jokes. You I'm gonna buy him? Yeah, you all

1798
01:39:11,000 --> 01:39:13,360
Speaker 1: look at her? Wow? Not? But what's with the fucking hair?

1799
01:39:13,439 --> 01:39:15,160
Speaker 1: I look at the jeans? What the fund is wrong?

1800
01:39:15,240 --> 01:39:19,960
Speaker 1: She's very pretty, you know. And that was that I

1801
01:39:20,080 --> 01:39:22,000
Speaker 1: was off and running. He bought four jokes for two

1802
01:39:22,040 --> 01:39:26,320
Speaker 1: hundred bucks. And and here I am in step and

1803
01:39:26,360 --> 01:39:29,000
Speaker 1: I badgered him and badgered humuntil he took away, took

1804
01:39:29,040 --> 01:39:31,000
Speaker 1: me away with him and we went to Fort Lauderdale

1805
01:39:31,040 --> 01:39:33,280
Speaker 1: for a week, in Las Vegas for a week, and

1806
01:39:33,280 --> 01:39:36,800
Speaker 1: it was I'm still still pulling stories out of my

1807
01:39:36,880 --> 01:39:41,160
Speaker 1: ass about those two weeks forty years. Okay, do you

1808
01:39:41,240 --> 01:39:45,599
Speaker 1: ever write jokes or the jokes come to you? I

1809
01:39:45,680 --> 01:39:49,479
Speaker 1: write them, but not a lot of them. Um. And

1810
01:39:49,479 --> 01:39:54,360
Speaker 1: and also if you write a short choke, it's it's

1811
01:39:54,439 --> 01:39:59,679
Speaker 1: pretty tough to write something, you know. As a student

1812
01:39:59,680 --> 01:40:01,640
Speaker 1: of Joe books, I mean I was, I've been. I

1813
01:40:01,720 --> 01:40:05,200
Speaker 1: was penn pals with a guy named Gershon Legman for

1814
01:40:05,320 --> 01:40:11,360
Speaker 1: twenty years before I put one of the jokes that

1815
01:40:11,479 --> 01:40:16,000
Speaker 1: I really really loved in my joke book. This guy

1816
01:40:16,040 --> 01:40:22,640
Speaker 1: wrote these incredibly thick, pedantic, unbelievable joke collections, and I

1817
01:40:22,680 --> 01:40:26,240
Speaker 1: came across it and all my stories away too long.

1818
01:40:27,240 --> 01:40:29,360
Speaker 1: Like I said in the in the seventies, we were

1819
01:40:29,400 --> 01:40:32,400
Speaker 1: doing everything we could to get material and find jokes

1820
01:40:32,439 --> 01:40:35,640
Speaker 1: and joke books. And in the back of some magazine

1821
01:40:36,320 --> 01:40:39,040
Speaker 1: it was like any ten books for cents, and one

1822
01:40:39,040 --> 01:40:43,200
Speaker 1: of the books said rationale of the dirty Joke. I said,

1823
01:40:44,280 --> 01:40:46,599
Speaker 1: so I sent whatever the other books were, I threw

1824
01:40:46,640 --> 01:40:50,080
Speaker 1: them out and looked at this thing big, thick book,

1825
01:40:51,560 --> 01:40:53,719
Speaker 1: and it was all went on and on about jokes.

1826
01:40:53,760 --> 01:40:56,160
Speaker 1: But the guy was kind enough to put the actual

1827
01:40:56,320 --> 01:41:00,080
Speaker 1: jokes in italics so you could read it like a

1828
01:41:00,160 --> 01:41:03,559
Speaker 1: joke book. And the introduction was like thirty pages long.

1829
01:41:03,600 --> 01:41:05,640
Speaker 1: And the guy goes on and on and on, and

1830
01:41:05,720 --> 01:41:08,200
Speaker 1: at the end of introduction he had his name in

1831
01:41:08,240 --> 01:41:13,120
Speaker 1: his his address, and you know me, and I'm reading

1832
01:41:13,160 --> 01:41:14,760
Speaker 1: and it says, this is part two of the two

1833
01:41:14,800 --> 01:41:20,000
Speaker 1: book collection. This is eight There's there's no Internet. I

1834
01:41:20,000 --> 01:41:22,439
Speaker 1: wrote the guy a letter. I sent my cassettes, I

1835
01:41:22,520 --> 01:41:24,960
Speaker 1: sent my jokes and everything said listen, I don't know

1836
01:41:25,000 --> 01:41:26,920
Speaker 1: if you'll ever get this, but I'm a comic. I

1837
01:41:26,920 --> 01:41:30,439
Speaker 1: would give anything to have a copy of that first

1838
01:41:30,520 --> 01:41:32,960
Speaker 1: volume of your series. And the guy wrote me back

1839
01:41:33,000 --> 01:41:35,439
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks later. I think it's like Jackie,

1840
01:41:35,520 --> 01:41:37,960
Speaker 1: I really enjoy your stuff. You're so funny. I got

1841
01:41:37,960 --> 01:41:40,360
Speaker 1: two copies of the first series of my book. I

1842
01:41:40,400 --> 01:41:42,360
Speaker 1: don't need to I'll sell you one of them. And

1843
01:41:42,400 --> 01:41:45,240
Speaker 1: he sold it to me for eighteen dollars and I

1844
01:41:45,280 --> 01:41:48,840
Speaker 1: still haven't it says and signed by Gershawn Legman. It

1845
01:41:48,960 --> 01:41:51,880
Speaker 1: turns out you can't read it. It's like the Bible.

1846
01:41:51,920 --> 01:41:56,080
Speaker 1: It's so goes on and it's so packed, packed with jokes.

1847
01:41:56,439 --> 01:41:59,000
Speaker 1: And one day I happened to notice like I had

1848
01:41:59,040 --> 01:42:01,880
Speaker 1: heard the Aristocrat joke from a guy named Martin Lewis,

1849
01:42:01,880 --> 01:42:05,800
Speaker 1: a comedian, a magician, comedian from Los Angeles, and I've

1850
01:42:05,840 --> 01:42:09,360
Speaker 1: been telling the Aristocrats for years and I'm looking at

1851
01:42:09,400 --> 01:42:14,640
Speaker 1: Legmans and the Aristocrats is the last joke on the

1852
01:42:14,760 --> 01:42:19,360
Speaker 1: last page of the second volume of his series. And

1853
01:42:19,400 --> 01:42:22,639
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe it. And his whole premises, you are

1854
01:42:22,720 --> 01:42:26,920
Speaker 1: thoroughly defined by what you find funny, and he said,

1855
01:42:26,960 --> 01:42:30,600
Speaker 1: this next joke was taught to told to me by

1856
01:42:30,640 --> 01:42:35,120
Speaker 1: a magician comedian who was raised in Squalor by parents

1857
01:42:35,160 --> 01:42:38,920
Speaker 1: that battled for forty years but stayed together for the

1858
01:42:38,960 --> 01:42:41,400
Speaker 1: good of the family. And I said, holy funck, this

1859
01:42:41,439 --> 01:42:45,439
Speaker 1: guy just described my life. And so twenty years later,

1860
01:42:45,439 --> 01:42:47,920
Speaker 1: I'm writing a joke book. So I made the last

1861
01:42:48,000 --> 01:42:53,280
Speaker 1: page of my joke book the Aristocrats, just like Legman had.

1862
01:42:54,240 --> 01:42:58,599
Speaker 1: And then ten years later, Paul Prevents and Pendelt come

1863
01:42:58,640 --> 01:43:02,160
Speaker 1: into my apartment and said, Jack, we're making a movie

1864
01:43:02,200 --> 01:43:05,240
Speaker 1: about the Aristocrats, and we gotta put you in the

1865
01:43:05,280 --> 01:43:08,320
Speaker 1: movie because we did a search on the web and

1866
01:43:08,320 --> 01:43:11,160
Speaker 1: we only got two hits for the Aristocrats, and they

1867
01:43:11,160 --> 01:43:16,120
Speaker 1: were both your website, because I had Legman's version and

1868
01:43:16,200 --> 01:43:18,479
Speaker 1: I had my version. And if you look at the

1869
01:43:18,520 --> 01:43:22,799
Speaker 1: poster for the Aristocrats, I don't it's every famous comic

1870
01:43:22,880 --> 01:43:25,680
Speaker 1: you've ever heard of in your in your life, with

1871
01:43:25,840 --> 01:43:28,040
Speaker 1: me thrown in the middle. I mean, they're all head

1872
01:43:28,040 --> 01:43:31,439
Speaker 1: and shoulders above me. But it was just just just

1873
01:43:31,560 --> 01:43:35,240
Speaker 1: so fucking interesting. And there was a joke that was

1874
01:43:35,360 --> 01:43:38,920
Speaker 1: so Rodney. If ever there was a joke that somebody

1875
01:43:39,000 --> 01:43:43,280
Speaker 1: sat down and wrote specifically for Rodney. There was this

1876
01:43:43,360 --> 01:43:47,599
Speaker 1: joke and I here it is in the Legman book.

1877
01:43:48,240 --> 01:43:52,920
Speaker 1: It's two guys talking in the Civil War and there's

1878
01:43:52,960 --> 01:43:55,479
Speaker 1: the joke. And I'm like, and I'm I'm like, there

1879
01:43:55,560 --> 01:43:57,880
Speaker 1: is nothing new, and the joke was here. You know,

1880
01:43:58,560 --> 01:44:00,960
Speaker 1: you know, my wife don't know. You know that she

1881
01:44:01,040 --> 01:44:03,040
Speaker 1: cut me down to twice a week, but that's nothing.

1882
01:44:03,120 --> 01:44:05,120
Speaker 1: I know. A couple of guys she cut out all together,

1883
01:44:06,840 --> 01:44:10,439
Speaker 1: which is so funny. And there's two several war guys

1884
01:44:10,479 --> 01:44:13,240
Speaker 1: and two black guys. And one guy said, yeah, this

1885
01:44:13,520 --> 01:44:16,759
Speaker 1: rash thing is crazy. They rather and they're rashed and everything.

1886
01:44:16,760 --> 01:44:20,000
Speaker 1: They're rashton cigarettes and they're rast and vegetables. And the

1887
01:44:20,080 --> 01:44:23,200
Speaker 1: guy says, yeah, he says that my wife cut me

1888
01:44:23,200 --> 01:44:25,720
Speaker 1: down twice a week. You know. The other guy said, yeah, well,

1889
01:44:25,760 --> 01:44:29,599
Speaker 1: I know some guys she cut out all together. There's

1890
01:44:29,600 --> 01:44:35,160
Speaker 1: the joke. But it fits Rodney that that's joke writing, realized,

1891
01:44:35,439 --> 01:44:40,479
Speaker 1: re repackaging, and reassigning. That's that's the game of comedy.

1892
01:44:40,479 --> 01:44:43,240
Speaker 1: But people don't realize that. You know, I've been around

1893
01:44:43,240 --> 01:44:46,200
Speaker 1: so long as it eat nothing slips by, you know,

1894
01:44:46,439 --> 01:44:49,799
Speaker 1: like here and there. You know, the other day somebody

1895
01:44:49,800 --> 01:44:52,880
Speaker 1: told me joke and and I said, I wrote that,

1896
01:44:53,000 --> 01:44:56,080
Speaker 1: And I'm saying, you know what, I'm sure five thousand

1897
01:44:56,080 --> 01:44:59,200
Speaker 1: people right, Why did Jewish girls swallow? Because they wanted

1898
01:44:59,200 --> 01:45:02,000
Speaker 1: to be the spinning images of their mothers? Okay, which

1899
01:45:02,000 --> 01:45:07,840
Speaker 1: is it's a funny, dirty joke, but who cares who

1900
01:45:07,840 --> 01:45:09,760
Speaker 1: came up with it? Okay? How about two people who

1901
01:45:09,800 --> 01:45:15,800
Speaker 1: tell tales like Dave Chappelle today or Richard Lewis. Those

1902
01:45:15,800 --> 01:45:18,280
Speaker 1: are two different you know, that's as different as you know.

1903
01:45:18,360 --> 01:45:20,960
Speaker 1: One guy throws batting practice and the other guy hits

1904
01:45:21,000 --> 01:45:24,000
Speaker 1: home runs. And one guy pictures no hitters and another

1905
01:45:24,000 --> 01:45:26,840
Speaker 1: guy plays hockey. You know, you know, they're they're all

1906
01:45:26,920 --> 01:45:30,479
Speaker 1: playing sports. It's completely different, you know. I mean, I

1907
01:45:30,560 --> 01:45:32,560
Speaker 1: love stories. I love I love nothing better than to

1908
01:45:32,560 --> 01:45:35,120
Speaker 1: sit and tell a story. I loved writing my book

1909
01:45:35,160 --> 01:45:37,240
Speaker 1: more than doing my You know, people read my book,

1910
01:45:37,280 --> 01:45:39,960
Speaker 1: they're like, Holy Christ, that's that's an interesting ship, you know.

1911
01:45:40,840 --> 01:45:43,080
Speaker 1: But that's not what I do. You know, what, what's

1912
01:45:43,080 --> 01:45:47,439
Speaker 1: your favorite joke? I always tell people my favorite jokes,

1913
01:45:47,439 --> 01:45:50,120
Speaker 1: the last joke that got a big laugh. So what's

1914
01:45:50,160 --> 01:45:54,240
Speaker 1: the last joke that got a big laugh? The the

1915
01:45:54,280 --> 01:45:55,960
Speaker 1: one that I liked telling when I when I do,

1916
01:45:56,080 --> 01:46:01,280
Speaker 1: I do cameo dot com slash Jackie Martlin. And people say, oh,

1917
01:46:01,920 --> 01:46:04,320
Speaker 1: my mother likes poop jokes. Or do this for my sister.

1918
01:46:04,560 --> 01:46:07,519
Speaker 1: She's got a Jewish husband, she loves Jewish jokes. Or

1919
01:46:07,640 --> 01:46:10,320
Speaker 1: do this for my uncle, or he really likes a

1920
01:46:10,439 --> 01:46:14,120
Speaker 1: hand job, you know whatever, And I do whatever, and

1921
01:46:14,200 --> 01:46:17,040
Speaker 1: some jokes I just and I put this in very often.

1922
01:46:18,880 --> 01:46:22,360
Speaker 1: A girl goes to a high school prom and the

1923
01:46:22,400 --> 01:46:25,120
Speaker 1: next day she sends her mother a text, Mom, the

1924
01:46:25,120 --> 01:46:28,200
Speaker 1: problem was great, But now Mom, I'm at the beach

1925
01:46:28,240 --> 01:46:31,040
Speaker 1: and I'm freaking out. I got come in my hair.

1926
01:46:32,439 --> 01:46:34,679
Speaker 1: So a mother sends her back a text honey, I'm glad.

1927
01:46:34,680 --> 01:46:38,080
Speaker 1: The problem is great. Listen, sometimes when you're blowing a

1928
01:46:38,120 --> 01:46:40,920
Speaker 1: guy and he decides to shoot on your face and

1929
01:46:41,000 --> 01:46:43,360
Speaker 1: he pulls it out of your mouth, they can't really

1930
01:46:43,400 --> 01:46:46,120
Speaker 1: control work goes and sometimes some of it goes in

1931
01:46:46,200 --> 01:46:49,320
Speaker 1: your hair. But it's not a big deal. Just jump

1932
01:46:49,360 --> 01:46:53,479
Speaker 1: in the water. It'll wash right out. If she sends

1933
01:46:53,520 --> 01:46:57,840
Speaker 1: her mother back a text, Mom, thanks for the information,

1934
01:46:57,920 --> 01:47:03,000
Speaker 1: but I meant to type, gum, well, that's the same joke.

1935
01:47:03,439 --> 01:47:06,719
Speaker 1: You know, the joke about the person who's tapping your WiFi.

1936
01:47:07,160 --> 01:47:10,600
Speaker 1: You know that one, right, But then of course they're

1937
01:47:10,640 --> 01:47:15,400
Speaker 1: you know they anything's mixed and matched, you know. Okay,

1938
01:47:16,000 --> 01:47:20,880
Speaker 1: so you know we live in the politically at correct era.

1939
01:47:21,400 --> 01:47:24,280
Speaker 1: Can you tell these ethnic I don't care, you know,

1940
01:47:26,520 --> 01:47:31,040
Speaker 1: I backed off. I just do what's funny, you know.

1941
01:47:31,200 --> 01:47:33,880
Speaker 1: I know my act now is like fifty minutes or

1942
01:47:33,920 --> 01:47:36,600
Speaker 1: an hour joke. So I don't do a lot of

1943
01:47:36,600 --> 01:47:38,800
Speaker 1: black jokes, a lot of Jewish jokes. But but I

1944
01:47:38,840 --> 01:47:42,080
Speaker 1: don't say Polish so much. It's not that I care,

1945
01:47:42,240 --> 01:47:45,400
Speaker 1: you know, it's not even necessary. You know, I'm old now,

1946
01:47:45,600 --> 01:47:47,559
Speaker 1: you don't you don't need to be too Jewish. Guys

1947
01:47:47,600 --> 01:47:49,680
Speaker 1: going down the street in the car. There were two

1948
01:47:49,680 --> 01:47:51,599
Speaker 1: guys going down the street in the car. It's it's

1949
01:47:51,640 --> 01:47:56,560
Speaker 1: just as funny because we're all old, all confused, you know, Um,

1950
01:47:56,720 --> 01:48:01,599
Speaker 1: have you gotten in any trouble for telling? Ever? Ever? Ever?

1951
01:48:03,640 --> 01:48:10,160
Speaker 1: One time, when I just started, I got a job

1952
01:48:11,400 --> 01:48:16,160
Speaker 1: working a bachelor party. And I where I come from,

1953
01:48:16,160 --> 01:48:18,599
Speaker 1: it's weird, Long Island's crazy, we're all horny, we're all

1954
01:48:18,600 --> 01:48:21,720
Speaker 1: out of my mind. But nobody really had bachelor parties

1955
01:48:21,760 --> 01:48:24,280
Speaker 1: with strippers. And that was like a New Jersey thing.

1956
01:48:24,320 --> 01:48:26,880
Speaker 1: And I get invite. I'm gonna do this bachelor party.

1957
01:48:26,920 --> 01:48:28,120
Speaker 1: It was a lot of money. I think it was

1958
01:48:28,160 --> 01:48:30,800
Speaker 1: like seventy five dollars, which was a fortune back then.

1959
01:48:30,920 --> 01:48:32,880
Speaker 1: I wasn't on the radio. Nobody knew who I was,

1960
01:48:33,800 --> 01:48:36,200
Speaker 1: and no I would take my amplifier and sit on

1961
01:48:36,240 --> 01:48:40,519
Speaker 1: the amplifier and play songs and tell jokes. I brought

1962
01:48:40,520 --> 01:48:41,920
Speaker 1: my friend Red with me. I said, come on, we're

1963
01:48:41,960 --> 01:48:47,240
Speaker 1: gonna go do this bachelor party. And I sat there

1964
01:48:47,240 --> 01:48:50,559
Speaker 1: on my amplifier and was about maybe twelve maybe twenty

1965
01:48:50,640 --> 01:48:53,720
Speaker 1: guys in a semicircle standing there in front of me,

1966
01:48:54,240 --> 01:48:57,920
Speaker 1: watching me, and I'm doing my jokes. And then insulting

1967
01:48:57,960 --> 01:49:01,000
Speaker 1: the crowd, you know, with the guy saying something. But

1968
01:49:01,439 --> 01:49:03,720
Speaker 1: and I played a song and I looked up and

1969
01:49:03,760 --> 01:49:07,920
Speaker 1: I said something insulting, and this guy walked through the

1970
01:49:07,960 --> 01:49:11,400
Speaker 1: crowd and grabbed me and bent me over my amplifier

1971
01:49:11,439 --> 01:49:13,920
Speaker 1: and said, you motherfucker, you talk like that to me.

1972
01:49:14,000 --> 01:49:16,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, man, I wasn't looking at anybody. This is

1973
01:49:16,840 --> 01:49:19,679
Speaker 1: my act. I was just fucking around. I wasn't talking

1974
01:49:19,680 --> 01:49:24,960
Speaker 1: to you. That's the only time in forty years anything

1975
01:49:25,000 --> 01:49:28,320
Speaker 1: like that ever happened. And it was I thought, Wow,

1976
01:49:28,360 --> 01:49:30,439
Speaker 1: this is this is things to come, because you hear

1977
01:49:30,439 --> 01:49:32,960
Speaker 1: about Jackie Gleason getting beaten up and Rickles getting his

1978
01:49:33,160 --> 01:49:36,160
Speaker 1: nose broken. Everything mean, while the I get done doing

1979
01:49:36,240 --> 01:49:37,639
Speaker 1: my thing, and then the next thing I know, we're

1980
01:49:37,640 --> 01:49:40,920
Speaker 1: all sitting there and chairs and there's this little stage

1981
01:49:40,920 --> 01:49:46,000
Speaker 1: and the girl comes out and the lies down, the

1982
01:49:46,040 --> 01:49:49,679
Speaker 1: groom lies down, the groom and pulls down his pants,

1983
01:49:49,760 --> 01:49:54,000
Speaker 1: and I'm sitting beside the groom's father and the groom's

1984
01:49:54,040 --> 01:49:57,559
Speaker 1: fucking father in law to be, and They're sitting on

1985
01:49:57,600 --> 01:50:00,280
Speaker 1: either side of me and this girl so box the

1986
01:50:00,360 --> 01:50:02,639
Speaker 1: guy's cock and all the guys that cheering, and I'm

1987
01:50:02,680 --> 01:50:06,519
Speaker 1: like what fucking planning them? And then she went in

1988
01:50:06,560 --> 01:50:10,439
Speaker 1: the bathroom and the guys rolling line. I'm like, what

1989
01:50:10,439 --> 01:50:13,960
Speaker 1: what I was like? I was in pludo, you know,

1990
01:50:14,080 --> 01:50:18,080
Speaker 1: like it was the oddest thing, you know, and I

1991
01:50:18,520 --> 01:50:20,559
Speaker 1: that was one of those crazy days. I thought, Wow,

1992
01:50:20,600 --> 01:50:22,800
Speaker 1: I got a lot coming up into my future here,

1993
01:50:23,240 --> 01:50:26,080
Speaker 1: and nothing like that ever happened before or since. I

1994
01:50:26,120 --> 01:50:28,840
Speaker 1: mean lots of sex, lots of craziness, but not like that.

1995
01:50:29,120 --> 01:50:32,120
Speaker 1: I mean his father bad enough for his father in law,

1996
01:50:32,720 --> 01:50:35,840
Speaker 1: you know. Like so so that was, you know. But

1997
01:50:36,520 --> 01:50:40,240
Speaker 1: one time the people from the Polish Eagle and West

1998
01:50:40,320 --> 01:50:44,760
Speaker 1: Orange uh wrote to me and threatened me and said,

1999
01:50:44,840 --> 01:50:47,200
Speaker 1: look we shut down John Rivers will shut you down.

2000
01:50:47,680 --> 01:50:50,000
Speaker 1: We hear what you're doing. Blah blah blah. Yeah, got

2001
01:50:50,000 --> 01:50:53,639
Speaker 1: gayak you hate the pope, the Polish Pope, you make

2002
01:50:55,400 --> 01:50:57,880
Speaker 1: And I said, I don't know what you're talking about.

2003
01:50:58,200 --> 01:50:59,800
Speaker 1: I think I wrote him a letter said to just

2004
01:51:00,000 --> 01:51:03,599
Speaker 1: come by, just come by the show. The next time

2005
01:51:03,640 --> 01:51:06,040
Speaker 1: I was at Rascals, a bunch of these guys came

2006
01:51:06,040 --> 01:51:09,120
Speaker 1: by the show, and they came up afterwards and said,

2007
01:51:09,520 --> 01:51:11,840
Speaker 1: you told jokes about everybody. It was the funniest act

2008
01:51:11,880 --> 01:51:15,320
Speaker 1: we ever saw, and so I told you, and and

2009
01:51:15,400 --> 01:51:20,479
Speaker 1: that was that. The Polish Eagle their their newsletter was

2010
01:51:20,600 --> 01:51:25,120
Speaker 1: memeo graph Are you all enough to remember me? The

2011
01:51:25,160 --> 01:51:30,200
Speaker 1: whole thing at school smell? But I skated, you know,

2012
01:51:30,960 --> 01:51:33,320
Speaker 1: And I never changed things. You know, if I was

2013
01:51:33,360 --> 01:51:35,439
Speaker 1: telling a black joke, I would look at the black guys.

2014
01:51:36,280 --> 01:51:41,120
Speaker 1: The one time in my life that I actually skipped anything,

2015
01:51:43,600 --> 01:51:47,000
Speaker 1: I was I was packed shell like four people in

2016
01:51:47,040 --> 01:51:49,640
Speaker 1: Boca ratone at the New York Comedy Club, and I

2017
01:51:49,760 --> 01:51:51,679
Speaker 1: killed that. When I went there, I had so much fun.

2018
01:51:52,439 --> 01:51:57,120
Speaker 1: And I looked down and sitting ringside right in fuck

2019
01:51:57,160 --> 01:52:02,320
Speaker 1: in front of me was a midget couple. Not a midget,

2020
01:52:02,760 --> 01:52:06,080
Speaker 1: a midget couple, I mean in their legs with dangling

2021
01:52:06,880 --> 01:52:10,080
Speaker 1: and I had like, like, you know, five six seven

2022
01:52:10,120 --> 01:52:14,320
Speaker 1: midget chokes in a row in my act, and I thought,

2023
01:52:14,360 --> 01:52:16,599
Speaker 1: you know what it's gonna look like. I threw that

2024
01:52:16,680 --> 01:52:20,600
Speaker 1: in just to be mean to them, and I and

2025
01:52:20,640 --> 01:52:22,640
Speaker 1: I just leaped over that. I didn't, you know, I

2026
01:52:22,680 --> 01:52:24,559
Speaker 1: got enough stuff. I can go on for hours and

2027
01:52:24,560 --> 01:52:26,439
Speaker 1: hours and hours, and I just I always felt a

2028
01:52:26,439 --> 01:52:29,400
Speaker 1: little hypocritical that I skipped that because I maintained it.

2029
01:52:29,640 --> 01:52:32,320
Speaker 1: I'm just working around and you know, usually a midget

2030
01:52:32,320 --> 01:52:35,240
Speaker 1: of that's that's really funny. You know, so who knows?

2031
01:52:35,640 --> 01:52:38,920
Speaker 1: But it never it never stops being interesting, Baba play

2032
01:52:39,000 --> 01:52:41,439
Speaker 1: that never stopped being Okay, So now what do we

2033
01:52:41,520 --> 01:52:44,840
Speaker 1: got in the sense of years of Jackie Martling's life.

2034
01:52:44,840 --> 01:52:50,320
Speaker 1: They just finished the documentary on me, which is so fun. Uh,

2035
01:52:50,360 --> 01:52:57,120
Speaker 1: Willie Nelson, Mark Cuban pen Gillette already lang cast my

2036
01:52:57,200 --> 01:53:00,080
Speaker 1: family cast of characters. I'm sure you'll really enjoy it.

2037
01:53:00,560 --> 01:53:02,720
Speaker 1: I put out my autobiography, which I would love to

2038
01:53:02,720 --> 01:53:07,040
Speaker 1: send you the joke Man about a Stern. I just

2039
01:53:07,080 --> 01:53:09,760
Speaker 1: got a deal to do the second half of that,

2040
01:53:10,000 --> 01:53:13,799
Speaker 1: which has already written. I had too much for one book.

2041
01:53:15,200 --> 01:53:17,519
Speaker 1: I'm doing the cameo dot com, which I love and

2042
01:53:18,080 --> 01:53:19,960
Speaker 1: selling a lot of those things that people are getting

2043
01:53:20,080 --> 01:53:24,640
Speaker 1: up on him. Um, you know, I'm not. I'm never

2044
01:53:24,720 --> 01:53:27,439
Speaker 1: gonna stop doing my stupid act once the COVID lifts,

2045
01:53:27,479 --> 01:53:30,080
Speaker 1: you know. I sometimes I make a lot of money.

2046
01:53:30,160 --> 01:53:32,479
Speaker 1: Sometimes I don't make so much money. But I you know,

2047
01:53:32,880 --> 01:53:35,000
Speaker 1: I'll do a firehouse, I'll do a club, I'll do

2048
01:53:35,040 --> 01:53:41,320
Speaker 1: a theater. I I actually I actually enjoy it, you know. Okay,

2049
01:53:41,360 --> 01:53:46,599
Speaker 1: any goals that you still have at this point, I

2050
01:53:46,680 --> 01:53:48,960
Speaker 1: was always sad that I didn't have, you know, I had.

2051
01:53:49,080 --> 01:53:51,320
Speaker 1: I had a little role on Leverage one time and

2052
01:53:51,320 --> 01:53:54,360
Speaker 1: I did so good, and then they wrote me into

2053
01:53:54,360 --> 01:53:58,360
Speaker 1: a whole episode and I said no to it because

2054
01:53:59,120 --> 01:54:02,280
Speaker 1: my nephew was duating from college and he's his father

2055
01:54:02,320 --> 01:54:05,880
Speaker 1: had passed away, and like, I don't God knows where

2056
01:54:05,920 --> 01:54:08,679
Speaker 1: that might have led. I never got. You know, people

2057
01:54:08,720 --> 01:54:11,080
Speaker 1: every day like, why don't you doing cartoons? Why don't

2058
01:54:11,080 --> 01:54:14,400
Speaker 1: you doing voiceovers? I'm like, I don't know. I auditioned

2059
01:54:14,439 --> 01:54:15,800
Speaker 1: for a million of them. You know. I stand in

2060
01:54:15,800 --> 01:54:17,719
Speaker 1: the line to bank people turning around and said, Jackie,

2061
01:54:17,760 --> 01:54:20,320
Speaker 1: are I know that voice anywhere? Why don't you doing cartoons?

2062
01:54:21,240 --> 01:54:23,720
Speaker 1: I never did, you know. I always wanted to put

2063
01:54:23,720 --> 01:54:27,519
Speaker 1: out a sne of my songs. But I certled, circled

2064
01:54:27,520 --> 01:54:29,840
Speaker 1: around and did that. And I would love to send

2065
01:54:29,880 --> 01:54:33,000
Speaker 1: you that. You'll get a kick out of that. Um.

2066
01:54:33,040 --> 01:54:34,960
Speaker 1: You know, it was with the best players in the world,

2067
01:54:35,000 --> 01:54:41,120
Speaker 1: so it's really fun. But um, I'm sure you know.

2068
01:54:41,320 --> 01:54:43,880
Speaker 1: I just got offered this thing. I think I'm wind

2069
01:54:44,000 --> 01:54:46,800
Speaker 1: up doing a streaming show of some kind with either

2070
01:54:46,840 --> 01:54:49,440
Speaker 1: with young comics or old comics. Are talking to people.

2071
01:54:49,440 --> 01:54:52,600
Speaker 1: I love to talk about old show business, but everybody's

2072
01:54:52,640 --> 01:54:55,960
Speaker 1: not enthralled with them. I am voracious, so I wouldn't.

2073
01:54:56,120 --> 01:54:58,640
Speaker 1: I would have had a working iPod if I hadn't

2074
01:54:58,640 --> 01:55:01,440
Speaker 1: to spend four hours this after reading about Jackie Gleason,

2075
01:55:01,640 --> 01:55:05,080
Speaker 1: you just did. It's all fascinating, the old old stuff

2076
01:55:05,120 --> 01:55:08,480
Speaker 1: when they were first starting. You know what, what what

2077
01:55:08,600 --> 01:55:14,360
Speaker 1: is fascinating about it? Just because because every you think

2078
01:55:14,360 --> 01:55:16,440
Speaker 1: you went through a fight, you went to you think

2079
01:55:16,440 --> 01:55:20,720
Speaker 1: you went through amazed, you went through craziness. Nobody just

2080
01:55:20,840 --> 01:55:23,560
Speaker 1: walked down the day aisle and walked up on the stage.

2081
01:55:24,040 --> 01:55:28,360
Speaker 1: You know, everybody has their story and it's it's it's

2082
01:55:28,400 --> 01:55:31,360
Speaker 1: just interesting. It's just interesting to me, you know, and

2083
01:55:31,360 --> 01:55:34,880
Speaker 1: it it inspires you, makes you glad you kept going.

2084
01:55:34,960 --> 01:55:38,040
Speaker 1: I'll tell you my life is a pinball machine. It

2085
01:55:38,160 --> 01:55:42,800
Speaker 1: just was like bing bing bing bing. You know. I

2086
01:55:42,800 --> 01:55:45,320
Speaker 1: started playing the guitar, then played guitar in high school,

2087
01:55:45,320 --> 01:55:49,400
Speaker 1: and played guitar in college, and play guitar in the seventies.

2088
01:55:49,520 --> 01:55:51,560
Speaker 1: And I didn't go anywhere. So I started telling my

2089
01:55:51,640 --> 01:55:54,880
Speaker 1: jokes on stage and then I stumbled into Howard Stern

2090
01:55:55,240 --> 01:55:57,440
Speaker 1: went up in the radio. But I kept doing my

2091
01:55:57,520 --> 01:56:00,320
Speaker 1: comedy and put my CDs out and then end up

2092
01:56:00,360 --> 01:56:03,840
Speaker 1: being a comedian without ever looking three weeks and well,

2093
01:56:03,840 --> 01:56:05,440
Speaker 1: I know is when I started telling my jokes on

2094
01:56:05,520 --> 01:56:09,360
Speaker 1: stage in nineteen seventy nine. After every three or four months,

2095
01:56:09,400 --> 01:56:13,720
Speaker 1: I would look back and I realized, I would realize

2096
01:56:13,760 --> 01:56:15,760
Speaker 1: I had made more money than I had the previous

2097
01:56:15,800 --> 01:56:18,280
Speaker 1: three months. So I just stayed on the path. I

2098
01:56:18,480 --> 01:56:20,320
Speaker 1: got lucky at bumpthing to how people are like, oh,

2099
01:56:20,400 --> 01:56:22,920
Speaker 1: You're so lucky you bumped into Howard Stern. I said, yeah,

2100
01:56:23,000 --> 01:56:25,960
Speaker 1: I am, and he's lucky bumped into me, which once

2101
01:56:25,960 --> 01:56:29,480
Speaker 1: again is pompous, but I don't care. It made a difference. Okay,

2102
01:56:29,520 --> 01:56:32,440
Speaker 1: so let's just assume you never worked again. You've got

2103
01:56:32,520 --> 01:56:36,360
Speaker 1: enough money to get to the end. You know what

2104
01:56:36,440 --> 01:56:40,160
Speaker 1: Jackie Mason says when you asked them asking that I

2105
01:56:40,240 --> 01:56:45,880
Speaker 1: never have to work again unless I want to buy something. No,

2106
01:56:46,000 --> 01:56:47,600
Speaker 1: I'm find my house is paid. Well, I got a

2107
01:56:47,640 --> 01:56:50,040
Speaker 1: million dollar house here on the water, and you know

2108
01:56:50,080 --> 01:56:54,640
Speaker 1: I got my after and uh, you know, and then

2109
01:56:55,320 --> 01:56:57,920
Speaker 1: I would never not work. That's not you know, if

2110
01:56:58,000 --> 01:57:00,080
Speaker 1: I'm not working, that means I'm dead, you know what

2111
01:57:00,080 --> 01:57:04,160
Speaker 1: I mean? So do I have to work? Not really.

2112
01:57:04,720 --> 01:57:07,640
Speaker 1: You know, I got I got so much stern memorability.

2113
01:57:07,720 --> 01:57:09,640
Speaker 1: At some point I'm gonna start selling that off with

2114
01:57:09,880 --> 01:57:12,080
Speaker 1: just just for the fun of just and everybody off.

2115
01:57:12,240 --> 01:57:16,280
Speaker 1: You know. Okay, Jackie, this has been wonderful. We could

2116
01:57:16,320 --> 01:57:18,480
Speaker 1: go out for another two hours. Maybe we'll do that

2117
01:57:18,520 --> 01:57:21,480
Speaker 1: at another time. It's great to hear the story. And

2118
01:57:21,560 --> 01:57:23,840
Speaker 1: I think we covered some stuff that's not in your book?

2119
01:57:23,920 --> 01:57:28,800
Speaker 1: Is that true? What what I always tell interviewers, excuse me,

2120
01:57:28,840 --> 01:57:32,040
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you were the first. What I always tell

2121
01:57:32,080 --> 01:57:35,320
Speaker 1: interview is this, listen if your listeners happen to enjoy

2122
01:57:35,400 --> 01:57:40,040
Speaker 1: this interview. And number one, they might not believe something,

2123
01:57:40,280 --> 01:57:42,680
Speaker 1: or they might want to hear more about something, or

2124
01:57:42,720 --> 01:57:44,600
Speaker 1: they have a question about something that they didn't hear

2125
01:57:44,640 --> 01:57:47,680
Speaker 1: anything about. I always say, do me a favorite. Just

2126
01:57:47,720 --> 01:57:52,560
Speaker 1: tell them to write you questions and next time we

2127
01:57:52,640 --> 01:57:55,880
Speaker 1: do this, you know, they might think the questions that

2128
01:57:55,920 --> 01:57:58,040
Speaker 1: you wouldn't necessarily think of or you wouldn't realize they

2129
01:57:58,080 --> 01:58:00,840
Speaker 1: want and and we'll go into the questions and I'll

2130
01:58:00,840 --> 01:58:03,680
Speaker 1: have a merry old time. I could do this for hours.

2131
01:58:03,960 --> 01:58:05,160
Speaker 1: You know, people come up to me and said, oh

2132
01:58:05,200 --> 01:58:07,080
Speaker 1: I love John Howard starn Show. But I'm sure you

2133
01:58:07,160 --> 01:58:08,840
Speaker 1: get sick of hearing that is that if I have

2134
01:58:08,920 --> 01:58:10,320
Speaker 1: to get sick of here and I put a bullet

2135
01:58:10,320 --> 01:58:12,160
Speaker 1: in my head, you know, I love it. It was

2136
01:58:12,200 --> 01:58:15,360
Speaker 1: great fun and it's still great fun. One other thing,

2137
01:58:15,960 --> 01:58:19,720
Speaker 1: I got a guy that answers all my email me.

2138
01:58:20,760 --> 01:58:25,000
Speaker 1: So anybody that writes me I right back. Joke land

2139
01:58:25,360 --> 01:58:27,960
Speaker 1: at a l dot com, j O K E l

2140
01:58:28,040 --> 01:58:30,800
Speaker 1: A n d at a old dot com right to me,

2141
01:58:31,000 --> 01:58:33,960
Speaker 1: I'll write you back. I love hearing from people and

2142
01:58:34,640 --> 01:58:38,640
Speaker 1: old girl friends. You know that's so funny because you

2143
01:58:38,680 --> 01:58:41,080
Speaker 1: were saying you ever hear talked to old people and

2144
01:58:41,080 --> 01:58:44,000
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. And then we took a break and

2145
01:58:44,040 --> 01:58:47,120
Speaker 1: I came out and picked up my phone and it

2146
01:58:47,280 --> 01:58:49,200
Speaker 1: was this girl that I was so in love with

2147
01:58:49,360 --> 01:58:52,320
Speaker 1: in the seventies that I wrote most of the songs

2148
01:58:52,360 --> 01:58:54,720
Speaker 1: that I wrote in the seventies, And yes, she is,

2149
01:58:54,760 --> 01:58:57,680
Speaker 1: I said, I was just talking about not you, but

2150
01:58:57,760 --> 01:59:01,480
Speaker 1: about the concept of you. You know, there's a song

2151
01:59:01,560 --> 01:59:05,120
Speaker 1: for the concept of you. You better tell me to

2152
01:59:05,160 --> 01:59:08,480
Speaker 1: shut up, Bob, because I'll just keep Okay, do you

2153
01:59:08,520 --> 01:59:11,160
Speaker 1: hear from this woman on a regular basis? Now? It

2154
01:59:11,280 --> 01:59:13,360
Speaker 1: just happened to get in touch about six months ago,

2155
01:59:13,960 --> 01:59:15,920
Speaker 1: a year And okay, so did you see each other

2156
01:59:15,960 --> 01:59:18,440
Speaker 1: face to face? No, no, I haven't seen her in

2157
01:59:18,560 --> 01:59:21,320
Speaker 1: twenty years, thirty years. But she was great, you know.

2158
01:59:21,640 --> 01:59:24,120
Speaker 1: And it was at the high time when my band

2159
01:59:24,280 --> 01:59:28,000
Speaker 1: was really cooking and we dinagle the house on the water,

2160
01:59:28,120 --> 01:59:30,280
Speaker 1: and she lived two houses away, and she was a

2161
01:59:30,320 --> 01:59:33,240
Speaker 1: school teacher. You know. I was twenty nine, she was

2162
01:59:33,240 --> 01:59:35,880
Speaker 1: twenty seven, and but I had no money, and I

2163
01:59:35,960 --> 01:59:37,520
Speaker 1: was a bomb and I was a drunk, and she

2164
01:59:37,640 --> 01:59:40,280
Speaker 1: came from a house full of drunk so she, you know,

2165
01:59:40,440 --> 01:59:43,520
Speaker 1: kept me at arms length, which we all know attracts

2166
01:59:43,520 --> 01:59:47,320
Speaker 1: a man like nothing else. So and then, you know,

2167
01:59:47,440 --> 01:59:50,120
Speaker 1: this used to be a cash business. So I assume

2168
01:59:50,160 --> 01:59:53,160
Speaker 1: it was a cash business during your career prior to

2169
01:59:53,240 --> 01:59:58,800
Speaker 1: Howard Stern. Uh, it wasn't. It wasn't, um no, no.

2170
01:59:58,960 --> 02:00:00,839
Speaker 1: Once I hit the Star and Show, yes, it actually

2171
02:00:01,200 --> 02:00:04,120
Speaker 1: stopped being a cash becausiness still sometimes well yeah, before that,

2172
02:00:04,200 --> 02:00:09,120
Speaker 1: oh yeah, no, My first paycheck was from k Rock.

2173
02:00:09,560 --> 02:00:11,640
Speaker 1: You know, I never got a paycheck from NBC. You know.

2174
02:00:12,720 --> 02:00:16,840
Speaker 1: Actually The Governors was cash, but that was that was

2175
02:00:16,880 --> 02:00:18,720
Speaker 1: on the books. That was a comedy club where we

2176
02:00:18,720 --> 02:00:22,440
Speaker 1: actually made good money. Me and my girlfriend Nancy booked

2177
02:00:22,440 --> 02:00:25,960
Speaker 1: the acts, hosted the acts, etcetera, etcetera. But there was

2178
02:00:25,960 --> 02:00:28,120
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of cash. At one point,

2179
02:00:28,200 --> 02:00:29,720
Speaker 1: I had so much cash and all of a sudden,

2180
02:00:29,720 --> 02:00:32,560
Speaker 1: you're looking, it's not there. You know, that's a nature

2181
02:00:32,560 --> 02:00:34,760
Speaker 1: of cash. Okay, I'm gonna cut you off because we

2182
02:00:34,760 --> 02:00:37,680
Speaker 1: will go off forever. Jackie, thanks so much for doing this.

2183
02:00:37,800 --> 02:00:39,920
Speaker 1: Until next time. This is Bob Leftsons