WEBVTT - Lunchtime Date - 9.29.26

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<v Speaker 1>It is time for The Nephew and today's prank phone call. Nephew,

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<v Speaker 1>what you got for us? Before I get to that,

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<v Speaker 1>I got to talk to Unc real quick. Unc, now

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<v Speaker 1>we just got to talking about Stevie Wonder celebrating 50 years,

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<v Speaker 1>songs in the key of life.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, sir. I know, I know you got his phone number.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm just saying. Would you just loan it to

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<v Speaker 2>me and let me get one prank called? Oh, no, Tommy.

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<v Speaker 3>What? Wait.

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<v Speaker 2>Y'all stay out of this. Just let me prank Mr.

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<v Speaker 2>Stevie Wonder one time. I would love it.

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<v Speaker 3>No.

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<v Speaker 4>No.

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<v Speaker 2>Come on, Steve. You can't do blind people any way

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<v Speaker 2>you want to. What? I know you ain't talking. I

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<v Speaker 2>know you ain't talking.

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<v Speaker 4>I know.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm the only one. Publicly.

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<v Speaker 5>That you see the famous clip of me and him

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<v Speaker 5>at the Essence Awards.

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<v Speaker 2>It was classic.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>It was classic.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm the only one who messed with Stevie and have

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<v Speaker 5>something to say about his blindness.

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<v Speaker 2>I ain't going to say nothing about that. The prank

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<v Speaker 2>ain't going to be about that.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't allow nobody else to enter into that realm

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<v Speaker 5>of our friendship.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I'm not going to mess up your friendship. This

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<v Speaker 2>ain't going to be about you. I'm not giving you

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<v Speaker 2>Stevie Wonder phone. I want Stevie number. Come on, man.

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<v Speaker 2>That would be so much fun. How are you picking

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<v Speaker 2>that over family? How are you doing that? Family? You

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<v Speaker 2>know the pain and misery you've caused me? You must

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<v Speaker 2>think I'm stupid.

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<v Speaker 5>You thought I forgot all the stuff you done to

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<v Speaker 5>me because we family.

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<v Speaker 2>You the reason I started picking more friends.

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<v Speaker 5>Man you ever got a family member man just keep

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<v Speaker 5>doing stuff and you just man Tommy you was classic

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<v Speaker 5>man you was messing up so much stuff man you

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<v Speaker 5>tore my apartment up that time you got my credit

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<v Speaker 5>jacked up you went out there and used my credit

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<v Speaker 5>to buy that new Hummer you just did you.

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<v Speaker 2>Still remember that that was in LA I can hear

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<v Speaker 2>man That was the old me, okay? That was the

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<v Speaker 2>old me. No, no.

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<v Speaker 5>The old you made me a cosigner, and then he

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<v Speaker 5>never paid the note.

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<v Speaker 2>So technically, you own a Hummer, Steve. That's what you're saying.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you understand me? You know what? I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to talk about it no more. Here go the prank.

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<v Speaker 2>The prank is lunchtime date. Lunchtime date. I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to talk about it no more.

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<v Speaker 4>Let's go.

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<v Speaker 3>Hello?

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<v Speaker 4>Hey, I'm trying to speak to Alan. Yeah, this is Alan.

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<v Speaker 3>Who is this?

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<v Speaker 4>Hey, Alan.

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<v Speaker 3>Yo, this is Derek, man. Check this out, bro. You

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<v Speaker 3>are Rachel's husband, right?

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, that's my baby.

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<v Speaker 4>What's up?

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<v Speaker 6>Something wrong?

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<v Speaker 3>No, no, no, no, no, no.

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<v Speaker 4>Like I said, this is Derek, man.

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<v Speaker 3>I work with your wife, Rachel.

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<v Speaker 4>Right.

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<v Speaker 6>You a supervisor or something?

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, is this about work or something?

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<v Speaker 6>I mean, she's doing a good job and everything.

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<v Speaker 3>She ain't about to get fired.

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<v Speaker 6>No, no, no, no.

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<v Speaker 4>Everything's straight, man. Ain't nothing wrong with the job. Everything's

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<v Speaker 4>cool with the job. This right here, man, is.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, what I noticed, man, you know, it just seems

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<v Speaker 3>like every single day, you know, while she's on her

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<v Speaker 3>lunch break, it seems like, you know, you will call

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<v Speaker 3>and then block up the whole hour of her lunch break.

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<v Speaker 3>And actually, you know, just be real, man. I'm just

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<v Speaker 3>trying to come correct with you. It just seems like

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<v Speaker 3>you just cut in on all the time. That I

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<v Speaker 3>have with her. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

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<v Speaker 6>Hold up on me.

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<v Speaker 3>Hold up.

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<v Speaker 4>Hold up, bro.

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<v Speaker 3>Wait.

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<v Speaker 6>What the f * * * are you doing at

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<v Speaker 6>lunch with my lady, son?

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<v Speaker 3>Like I said, we just spending time doing lunch time,

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<v Speaker 3>but it just seems so rude. Rude?

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<v Speaker 4>Rude?

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<v Speaker 6>Okay, first of all, that's my lady, okay? I can

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<v Speaker 6>call her whenever the f * * * I feel

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<v Speaker 6>like calling her. I pay for that m * * *.

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<v Speaker 6>I bought that iPhone. I could get whatever I please.

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<v Speaker 3>All right.

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<v Speaker 6>Secondly, you ain't got no business being with a married

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<v Speaker 6>woman alone at lunch. This ain't no date. Y'all supposed

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<v Speaker 6>to be at work.

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<v Speaker 3>No, we are at work. Like I said, we co-workers,

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<v Speaker 3>you know? It seems like half the whole time I'm

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<v Speaker 3>sitting in front of her, you know, we're supposed to

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<v Speaker 3>be having lunch together, and she's talking to you the

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<v Speaker 3>whole time. Uh-uh, uh-uh.

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<v Speaker 6>What's your name again, bro?

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<v Speaker 3>My name's Derek.

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<v Speaker 4>Derek, Derek, all right.

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<v Speaker 6>Derek, you work at the same building? Okay, you at

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<v Speaker 6>work right now, huh?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm here at the job.

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<v Speaker 6>Y'all work in the same floor? I'm finna come see you.

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<v Speaker 6>You're about to jump off. Way, way different for you, man.

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<v Speaker 4>Straight up. Okay, so let me ask you something, man.

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<v Speaker 4>What is the big deal? I'm just trying to, okay,

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<v Speaker 4>you act like you don't see her. You act like

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<v Speaker 4>you don't see her when she get home, you know?

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<v Speaker 4>So why is it so important that you waste a

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<v Speaker 4>whole hour of lunchtime holding her down?

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<v Speaker 6>I ain't wasting my time. I'm talking to my lady, okay?

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<v Speaker 3>You understand that?

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<v Speaker 6>Why don't you go out there and get... And then

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<v Speaker 6>you ain't got to worry about sitting up in front

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<v Speaker 6>of my fucking lady. That's my wife. I walk down

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<v Speaker 6>the aisle with that. We got kids. We got a house.

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<v Speaker 6>We take care of this shit. She help me hold

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<v Speaker 6>it down. And this shit, you, you, you ain't shit.

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<v Speaker 6>You know, it's shit like you. It's shit. You don't

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<v Speaker 6>ever want to come in and do shit. But they

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<v Speaker 6>got shit. So I always want to come in and

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<v Speaker 6>shit somebody else's wife and shit. Why don't you do

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<v Speaker 6>this shit? Take this shit advice and see how it

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<v Speaker 6>works for you. Go to the church. library, grocery store,

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<v Speaker 6>wherever the * * * * you find your * * * * at,

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<v Speaker 6>and you get you a chick, you date her for

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<v Speaker 6>a minute. You court her for a minute. You romance

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<v Speaker 6>her for a minute. That's what real men do, you

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<v Speaker 6>know what I'm saying? That's what I did. That's how

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<v Speaker 6>I got my * * * *, Rachel. That's my heart.

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<v Speaker 6>You trying to sit up there in front of lunch

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<v Speaker 6>with her? Every * * * *. day for the

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<v Speaker 6>past year. I'll tell you what, bro. It may not

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<v Speaker 6>be today. It may not be tomorrow, but soon, soon,

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<v Speaker 6>you're going to see me. Me and you are going

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<v Speaker 6>to have none of this phone conversation. This is going

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<v Speaker 6>to be a face-to-face.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, dude, dude. All I'm saying, man, I ain't trying

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<v Speaker 3>to come between y'all at all, bro.

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<v Speaker 6>All I'm saying is.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, like I'm saying, I'm not trying to come between y'all.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm just saying, if every day you call him, man,

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<v Speaker 4>what do you want? That's my wife.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm supposed to talk to every guy every day. That's

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<v Speaker 6>what a real dude do. You don't know about that

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<v Speaker 6>because you ain't no real dude. All you know about

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<v Speaker 6>is trying to holler at some street. You don't know

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<v Speaker 6>what it is to put in work like a real

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<v Speaker 6>man do. To actually hold down a home, pay the bills, everything,

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<v Speaker 6>the family, the kids and fixing the yards and fences and...

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<v Speaker 6>You don't know nothing about that. All you know about

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<v Speaker 6>is being a roach. Wife can't even go to work

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<v Speaker 6>without like you trying to step in. Don't mean no God.

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<v Speaker 6>But that's OK. Like I promise you, I will be there.

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<v Speaker 6>You're going to see me and I'm going to see you.

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<v Speaker 6>You know, I'll tell you what. This is how this

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<v Speaker 6>is going to go. It may not be tonight, but

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<v Speaker 6>it's definitely not going to go past tomorrow. Between now

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<v Speaker 6>and then, you're going to see me and I'm going

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<v Speaker 6>to see you.

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<v Speaker 4>And I can promise you this. What'd you say? Sorry, man.

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<v Speaker 6>I will come see you by tomorrow, son.

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<v Speaker 4>Me and you.

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<v Speaker 3>Derek.

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<v Speaker 6>That's your name, right?

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<v Speaker 4>Derek.

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<v Speaker 3>My name is Derek, yes.

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<v Speaker 6>You always want to be both smiley face and my

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<v Speaker 6>wife's face. I'm going to deal with Rachel when I

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<v Speaker 6>see her. You can please believe that. Please believe that.

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<v Speaker 6>Talk to her about her little friend at lunch. How

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<v Speaker 6>the hell did you get my number anyway, man?

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<v Speaker 3>I got your number out of Rachel's phone, but that's

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<v Speaker 3>besides the point, man.

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<v Speaker 6>It's a friendly lunch date is what it is. I

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<v Speaker 6>know about all that.

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<v Speaker 3>You ain't fooling me.

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<v Speaker 6>Like you who prey on married women all the time

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<v Speaker 6>because they like you but that like i said.

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<v Speaker 4>It's gonna change promise you okay here's what you don't

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<v Speaker 4>know what you don't know is is tommy tommy be

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<v Speaker 4>pushing up on her more than me tommy tommy is

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<v Speaker 4>always pushing up on her tommy the one you need

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<v Speaker 4>to be worried about you ask tommy.

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<v Speaker 6>Who the f * * k.

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<v Speaker 3>Tommy any Dog, dog, dog. Nephew Tommy, man. Check this out.

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<v Speaker 3>This is Nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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<v Speaker 3>Your wife, Rachel, got me to prank phone call you. Ow.

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<v Speaker 6>I can't believe y'all did this to me, man. I

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<v Speaker 6>was going to come down and f * * *

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<v Speaker 6>you up for real.

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<v Speaker 4>You all right, man?

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<v Speaker 3>Man, I am now.

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<v Speaker 6>I was going to burn that building down. You don't

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<v Speaker 6>even know.

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<v Speaker 4>All right, Pete, tell me.

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<v Speaker 6>This is my prediction. Somebody going to f * * *

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<v Speaker 6>you up.

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<v Speaker 3>For real.

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<v Speaker 6>Y'all, you just play too.

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<v Speaker 2>F * * * ing.

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<v Speaker 4>Much, man.

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<v Speaker 6>Y'all trippy.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, man, check it out.

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<v Speaker 4>You got to tell me this, man.

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<v Speaker 3>What is the baddest radio show in the land?

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<v Speaker 6>Only the Steve Harvey morning show, man.

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<v Speaker 3>Of course.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll tell you what.

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<v Speaker 3>What's going on?

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<v Speaker 2>Greetings and salutations, everybody. This is Neil. Hey, what's going on?

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<v Speaker 2>This is Kevin Hardy. Coming up next is the Strawberry Letter.

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.