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Speaker 1: Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your

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Speaker 1: warm embrace.

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Speaker 2: Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytell podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious

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Speaker 1: story that I think your love. Sincerely Sam.

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Speaker 2: But before that, thine divine two minute outbreak must happen,

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Speaker 2: I bid thee farewell. See you in two minutes.

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Speaker 1: I'm secretly in love with my best friend. Yesterday he

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Speaker 1: introduced me as his sister. Oohoo, that's unfortunate. I, twenty

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Speaker 1: five female, have known my best friend, twenty six male

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Speaker 1: for twelve years. I've been secretly in love with him

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Speaker 1: for about half of that time. Just a little backstory.

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Speaker 1: We met in middle school when his family moved into

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Speaker 1: the townhouse next to ours. At the time, I was

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Speaker 1: in seventh grade and he was in eighth. We quickly

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Speaker 1: became friends and spent a lot of time together engaging

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Speaker 1: in basic friendly interactions. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 1: t Away Love And if you want us to make

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Speaker 1: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story time.

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Speaker 1: I'm Subreddit, I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, and we're here to

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Speaker 1: give good advice. Goofully. But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 1: We only know what we would do, So let us

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Speaker 1: know what you would do In the comments, and Opie says.

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Speaker 1: Our backyards were connected, so when our parents were asleep,

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Speaker 1: he would sometimes slip out of his patio door and

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Speaker 1: come over to my room and we would just talk

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Speaker 1: around my junior year, his senior year of high school,

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Speaker 1: we were both going through bad breakups. One night, when

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Speaker 1: he came over, he joked about how easy it would

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Speaker 1: be for us to date. I agreed, but we laughed

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Speaker 1: it off and didn't bring it up again. About two

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Speaker 1: weeks later, it finally happened. We did everything but have

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Speaker 1: spicy sleep that night. Kay the next day we both

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Speaker 1: moved on as if nothing happened. However, things slowly changed,

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Speaker 1: and that is when I began developing feelings. After graduation,

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Speaker 1: he moved away as fast as he could, not far,

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Speaker 1: just a couple of towns over. During the first couple

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Speaker 1: of years, we barely saw each other, but still texted

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Speaker 1: and occasionally talked on the phone. I assumed this was

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Speaker 1: mostly because he had started dating someone at the time.

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Speaker 1: Over the last three years, we've been closer than ever.

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Speaker 1: We are both single, We talk on the phone every

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Speaker 1: single day and have not missed a day, even if

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Speaker 1: it's just a quick hello or a check in. He

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Speaker 1: knows I'm afraid of bugs and has come to my

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Speaker 1: place to unalive big spiders for me a couple of

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Speaker 1: those times between one to three am. We frequently buy

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Speaker 1: each other gifts for holidays, birthdays, or just because. Every year,

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Speaker 1: he takes me out for Valentine's Day and my Birthday

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Speaker 1: to extravagant dinners and in activity he thinks I would enjoy.

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Speaker 1: A few times, he has sent flowers to my job

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Speaker 1: just because, and even surprised me a couple of months

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Speaker 1: ago by personally delivering flowers when I was having a

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Speaker 1: bad day. I've taken a on vacation for his birthday,

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Speaker 1: just the two of us. I've also surprised him at

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Speaker 1: work with various gifts if he was having a bad day.

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Speaker 1: We take care of each other when we're sick, including

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Speaker 1: sleeping over at each other's houses and nursing each other

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Speaker 1: back to health. He knows thunderstorms scare me and will

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Speaker 1: often spend the night with me if it is really

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Speaker 1: getting to me. Yes, sleeping in the same bed. He

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Speaker 1: has on multiple occasions said something like I wish I

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Speaker 1: could date someone like you, or I wish I could

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Speaker 1: find someone like me for you. I have replied, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we would be perfect, but we always leave it there.

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Speaker 1: This year, I moved closer to him, about a three

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Speaker 1: minute drive. He also works in the area and I

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Speaker 1: work from home three days a week. We both work

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Speaker 1: in office settings that allow us to talk on the

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Speaker 1: phone all day while we are working. It is basically

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Speaker 1: a part of our routine. He calls me on his

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Speaker 1: way to work, and unless one of us has a meeting,

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Speaker 1: we stay on the phone all day until he gets off. Wow.

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Speaker 1: Our coworkers know about this. He has been out with

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Speaker 1: my coworkers and me for drinks. While I have not

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Speaker 1: met any of his coworkers, I have talked to a

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Speaker 1: couple of them on the phone frequently, as Sometimes when

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Speaker 1: he's in the office he'll have me on speaker. They

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Speaker 1: know my name but have never met me in person.

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Speaker 1: I work mornings and he starts in the afternoon, so

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Speaker 1: when I am getting off work, he is usually going

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Speaker 1: on his lunch. If I'm working from home, he comes

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Speaker 1: over on his lunch break and I make him food.

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Speaker 1: When I'm in the office, I pick up something for

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Speaker 1: him and bring it to his office, or we go

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Speaker 1: out to eat on his lunch. Yesterday, he was getting

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Speaker 1: off work early and I was picking him up to

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Speaker 1: go to dinner and then to our town's carnival. He

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Speaker 1: purposely walked to work that day because the carnival is

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Speaker 1: near his office and the parking lot is horrendous at

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Speaker 1: this time. When I got there, he was still finishing

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Speaker 1: up some work and I had to use the bathroom badly,

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Speaker 1: so I went in to use theirs. He got me

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Speaker 1: and brought me back to his office. While we were

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Speaker 1: walking out, we ran into a couple of his coworkers

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Speaker 1: who asked if I was his girlfriend. I said no

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Speaker 1: and thought we would leave it at that. He doubled

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Speaker 1: down and said, this is my little sister. I was floored.

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Speaker 1: He has never referred to me as a sister, at

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Speaker 1: least to my knowledge. I've never told him how I

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Speaker 1: feel about him, but I've hinted at it a little.

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Speaker 1: Our mutual friends have asked us why we aren't dating before,

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Speaker 1: and he has said he doesn't want to lose me

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Speaker 1: as a friend. Call me crazy, but if anything, my

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Speaker 1: feelings have tripled for him over the last three years

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Speaker 1: of him basically treating me like his girlfriend. Now I

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Speaker 1: feel completely stupid, like I read into things too deeply. O.

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Speaker 2: Don't you're reading into this too deeply? Uh, that's my assumption.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, why have you guys not like the I

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Speaker 1: hate to lose you as a friend. You guys are

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Speaker 1: basically dating. Yeah, you guys talk, You are constantly in communication,

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Speaker 1: You hang out all the time. You basically go on dates.

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Speaker 2: You could probably clarify today and be like, hey, actually

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Speaker 2: I like you, and he'd be like, Okay, you're not

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Speaker 2: my sister anymore. You're my girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: And then the only issue is the awkward conversation the

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Speaker 1: next time you meet the coworkers.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's gonna be weird.

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Speaker 1: This morning, he called me when he was leaving work.

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Speaker 1: His office occasionally has to work Saturdays when they are busy.

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Speaker 1: He told me his coworkers asked about me, saying they'd

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Speaker 1: never seen him with a girl and could have sworn

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Speaker 1: we were dating based on how we were looking at

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Speaker 1: each other. They said they've never seen him look as

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Speaker 1: happy as he did when we were together. He told

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Speaker 1: me it's just great having someone in his life who

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Speaker 1: completely understands him and allows him to be himself. I

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Speaker 1: am so confused. I'm not going to tell him how

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Speaker 1: I feel, but knowing he thinks of me as a

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Speaker 1: sister has me very shocked, confused, and feeling like an idiot.

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Speaker 1: Any advice, Please tell him how you feel. Tell him,

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Speaker 1: don't do this not telling him, tell him.

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Speaker 2: Tell him how you feel.

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Speaker 1: I think he feels the same way. I think the

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Speaker 1: sister thing was a lie.

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Speaker 2: I agree.

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Speaker 1: Update sixteen days later, well, as a lot of the

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Speaker 1: comments stated he's not attracted to me, uh oh, the

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Speaker 1: opportunity finally arose for me to bring it up. Casually.

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Speaker 1: We were talking about relationships and he was saying how

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Speaker 1: he hasn't had much luck finding anyone. Things just haven't

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Speaker 1: worked out for various reasons. Despite a lot of the comments,

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Speaker 1: none of those reasons have been for how close we are.

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Speaker 1: So as he's telling me about the latest girl he's

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Speaker 1: stopped talking to, she was hardly ever responding to text

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Speaker 1: and calls for anyone interested in the reason, I said, well,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like you need to change up from what

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Speaker 1: you usually go for. I basically told him he needs

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Speaker 1: someone like me and our relationship. He agreed. He literally

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Speaker 1: said word for word, Yeah, you're right. If you were

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Speaker 1: someone else, we would definitely be together. This was my

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Speaker 1: first opportunity to bring it up, but I chickened out.

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Speaker 1: Then we were both talking about how we haven't had

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Speaker 1: spicy sleep in a while as we've been single, and

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Speaker 1: I said, yeah, we should help each other out. He

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Speaker 1: kind of laughed awkwardly, and I should have took that

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Speaker 1: as the sign, but I was in it. Now I

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Speaker 1: had the courage to finally ask why have we never dated?

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Speaker 1: He admitted that he used to have feelings for me

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Speaker 1: in high school but didn't think I would leave my ex.

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Speaker 1: The ex he was referring to was the guy I

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Speaker 1: was with before we had our one night that we

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Speaker 1: don't talk about. I asked him why he thought that

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Speaker 1: when I was literally with him afterwards and then we

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Speaker 1: never spoke of it. He said it just didn't seem

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Speaker 1: like I was over him at the time, So naturally,

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Speaker 1: I asked what about after when he realized I didn't

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Speaker 1: want him back. He said he had already started thinking

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Speaker 1: of me differently and now sees me as his sister.

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Speaker 1: He says he couldn't go back on that now, it's

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Speaker 1: too weird. It would really be like dating his sister.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really pushed the conversation after this, I just

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Speaker 1: let it end. I actually feel like he lied, which

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Speaker 1: is a lot because I've never felt that way. I

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Speaker 1: really think he was never attracted in the first place,

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Speaker 1: and maybe that night was a rebound situation and he

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Speaker 1: didn't want to hurt my feelings. I don't know. This

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Speaker 1: is just like you guys can't keep maintaining this like

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Speaker 1: dating thing. Then if if, like I don't know how

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Speaker 1: a relationship for either one of you with someone else

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Speaker 1: would be sustained with this level of like almost dating

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Speaker 1: your friend.

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Speaker 2: I feel like if you did start dating someone else,

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Speaker 2: he'd immediately be like, wait, no.

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Speaker 1: Dear, not my sister, right, I could see that.

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Speaker 2: I think he's just convinced himself. Yeah. I don't know,

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Speaker 2: but this is just a lesson that you should be

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Speaker 2: clear about your feelings when you realize what they are, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and not wait for six years.

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Speaker 1: You guys probably would have dated in high school either way.

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Speaker 1: I know the truth now, and I'm moving on. A

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Speaker 1: lot of people said I was letting these feelings hold

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Speaker 1: me back from relationships, and genuinely I wasn't. I've dated

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Speaker 1: and things have ended for various reasons. Also, none of

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Speaker 1: those reasons being because of my relationship with him. I

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Speaker 1: actually found out the reason none of his exes had

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Speaker 1: an issue is because he's been telling them I'm his

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Speaker 1: sister this whole time. Oh so he's been dying.

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Speaker 2: He just used it as a's it.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, that's no, that's I don't like that. Ah

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Speaker 1: So yeah, safe to say that's never happening. I still

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Speaker 1: feel utterly stupid and delusional forever thinking it was anything romantic,

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Speaker 1: but lesson learned I.

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Speaker 2: That's the wrong lesson. He lied to these girls about you,

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Speaker 2: not about you being his sister, so that he could

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Speaker 2: still talk to you.

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Speaker 1: That's so icky, especially because he just admitted he had feelings. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this isn't going to end our friendship, but I will

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Speaker 1: definitely be setting more boundaries, starting with no more sleepovers.

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Speaker 1: And that's a start. I'll take that as a start.

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Speaker 1: That's the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: My friend accused my fiance of wanting to cheat with her,

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Speaker 2: but something feels off.

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Speaker 1: You should talk to your fiance about that.

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Speaker 2: And this comes directly from the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 1: Whoo.

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Speaker 2: I had been friends with this girl, Kelly for about

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Speaker 2: fourteen years. At this point in my life, along with

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Speaker 2: both her sisters, Ali and Bella, I was basically part

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Speaker 2: of the family. I knew everyone and grew up with them.

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Speaker 2: We were all really close at first. I was super

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Speaker 2: close to Bella growing up and then later closer to Kelly.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user Newshine two and

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Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit where this story was submitted.

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Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to give you

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Speaker 2: good advice. Goofully, but we don't know all the answers.

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Speaker 2: We only know what we would do, so if you

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Speaker 2: would do something different, let us know in the comments.

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Speaker 2: As Op says, I ended up getting a divorce from

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Speaker 2: my husband and rekindled with my ex A little after

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Speaker 2: moving in with Ali. She helped me get a job

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Speaker 2: where both Kelly and her were working, so it was cool.

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Speaker 2: It was our little trio working together, all in different departments. Well,

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Speaker 2: my ex and I were going through a lot. He

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Speaker 2: was being dumb and cheating, so I cut it off

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Speaker 2: and ended up hitting it off with one of my coworkers.

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Speaker 2: Who is my fiance today? Although I was living with Ali,

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Speaker 2: I hung out with Kelly all the time at her

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Speaker 2: place and was basically living there. My fiance would come

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Speaker 2: over and hang out with me there all the time.

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Speaker 2: After a while, I could tell she was starting to

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Speaker 2: have a crush on him. At work, she would talk

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Speaker 2: about how cool he was and all the cool things

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Speaker 2: he was doing, to the point where I stopped engaging

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Speaker 2: because I got uncomfortable. At this point, I didn't say

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Speaker 2: anything because I didn't know how to approach it and

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Speaker 2: wasn't sure if I was overreacting. He would help pick

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Speaker 2: up her house or cook dinner for me, but include

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Speaker 2: her because it was her home, so he didn't want

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Speaker 2: to be rude. She started making comments about how we

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Speaker 2: were all basically in a relationship together and he didn't

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Speaker 2: know what to do. It made him instantly uncomfortable, but

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Speaker 2: he was new and didn't know if he would cross

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Speaker 2: a boundary with me saying something. I stayed silent because

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Speaker 2: I was kind of shocked. I think she could tell

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Speaker 2: because she never made a comment like that again. I

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Speaker 2: stayed around because she remained respectful for the most part,

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Speaker 2: but there were times where I felt I wanted to

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Speaker 2: end the relationship because of how she acted around him.

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Speaker 2: We ended up having our first son together, and at

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Speaker 2: this point everything between us was normal and fine. Then

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Speaker 2: my friend got her pictures done. They turned out nice,

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Speaker 2: but could have been better for them being professionally taken.

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Speaker 2: So we thought we would try to open our business

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Speaker 2: together the three of us. Now this is where things

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Speaker 2: started getting weird. My fiance and I were secretly trying

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Speaker 2: for another baby and kept this to ourselves because we

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Speaker 2: wanted to surprise everyone in a cute way once I

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Speaker 2: was pregnant. This is an important side note back to

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Speaker 2: all of us trying to get our business started. There

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Speaker 2: was a lot of excitement and we even brought in

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Speaker 2: another friend to help model and possibly join us. All

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Speaker 2: three of us besides Kelly, had similar ideas and started clashing,

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Speaker 2: so we decided to open it up kind of like

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Speaker 2: a tattoo parlor shop so we could all share our

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Speaker 2: ideas without feeling like our opinions weren't wanted. We thought

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Speaker 2: it would help bring in more clients since we had

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Speaker 2: different tastes. I admit some tension happened, but nothing we

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Speaker 2: weren't able to get over the photography we wanted to

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Speaker 2: do was boudoir weddings and maternity shoots. We started with

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Speaker 2: boudoir because we had enough models volunteer, including me and

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Speaker 2: my friend. Her sister was going to let her use

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Speaker 2: her spare garage room as a studio so we could

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Speaker 2: have clients come in a private area. We could have furniture,

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Speaker 2: a background drop, and everything we need. We all cleaned

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Speaker 2: out the garage together. The next day, Kelly and my

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Speaker 2: fiance were to go get a couch. I know one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent my fiance was never in to my friend.

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Speaker 2: He's never done anything to break my trust. She took

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Speaker 2: her company truck, which had cameras, and picked him up

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Speaker 2: to go the couches. The next day, my friend and

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Speaker 2: I planned to model in lingerie to start our portfolio.

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Speaker 2: My fiance and our other friend were going to practice

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Speaker 2: taking pictures with our new camera. That same day, I

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Speaker 2: found out I was pregnant and we were both ecstatic.

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Speaker 2: During the photo shoot, Kelly acted normal and excited to practice.

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Speaker 2: She picked up our friend without issue, and overall we

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00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,360
Speaker 2: were just vibing and having a good day. About a

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Speaker 2: week later, she and my fiance got in an argument,

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Speaker 2: possibly over the business but I can't remember exactly. It

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Speaker 2: wasn't a good fight. Out of nowhere, she and her

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00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,440
Speaker 2: sister called me and told me to talk with them privately,

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Speaker 2: and Kelly started saying my fiance had said he wished

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Speaker 2: he'd met her first, hoped to have her babies, and

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00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:49,160
Speaker 2: that he loved her and hated me. He literally came

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Speaker 2: home that night telling me about their conversation in the truck.

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Speaker 2: He said he was venting to her about thinking it

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00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:58,040
Speaker 2: was crazy he didn't meet either of them first because

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Speaker 2: they had been working there longer, talking about being a

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Speaker 2: baby juice donor for a sapphig couple, but didn't go

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Speaker 2: through with it, and he was slightly fighting me before

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Speaker 2: he left, so he vented to her. Of course, he

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00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:14,560
Speaker 2: followed me and looked confident. I wouldn't believe her, But

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Speaker 2: at first I did believe her because she was my

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Speaker 2: friend of fourteen years. Why would she lie? But I

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00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,800
Speaker 2: also knew she isn't the type to keep silent. She

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00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,520
Speaker 2: would have told everybody. That same day, the other friend

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Speaker 2: at the photography session said Kelly was texting her saying

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Speaker 2: she was uncomfortable and didn't want to participate. The day

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00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,440
Speaker 2: Kelly called me She frantically started calling our friend, telling

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Speaker 2: her not to answer my calls until she spoke to her.

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00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,600
Speaker 2: The friend answered and Kelly started telling her what she

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00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:46,240
Speaker 2: told me about my fiance, but kept switching her story.

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Speaker 2: She seemed like she was lying and got weirded out,

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Speaker 2: so she called me. I asked if she hadn't said

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Speaker 2: anything a week before about being uncomfortable. She said no,

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00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,760
Speaker 2: she was really excited for the photoshoot and sent me

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Speaker 2: screenshots of her mede. At this point, my fiance was

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Speaker 2: hurt because one our friends said these things about him,

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00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,080
Speaker 2: and two he didn't think I would believe her because

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00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,480
Speaker 2: he thought we had more trust. He texted her to

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00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,920
Speaker 2: send over the camera footage for proof and asked why

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Speaker 2: she was doing this and that she was lying. She

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00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,000
Speaker 2: freaked out, called him disgusting and said he didn't deserve

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Speaker 2: his family and threatened to do anything to make me

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Speaker 2: leave him. So I think it's time we are done

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Speaker 2: associating with Kelly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's crazy.

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Speaker 2: You know, this all could have probably been taken care

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00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 2: of if you had the first time. She said, It's

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Speaker 2: like we're all dating, It's like we're all a couple.

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Speaker 1: You're like ehe not actually though you're not in this.

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00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really like we're a couple and you're also

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Speaker 2: our friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I knew in my gut

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Speaker 2: he didn't do it. The way he reacted and how

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00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,640
Speaker 2: she went about things was strange and sent red flags.

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00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,119
Speaker 2: I finally blocked her and said I didn't need the

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Speaker 2: camera footage to know the truth. She then started making

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00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,000
Speaker 2: posts calling my fiance a disgusting cheater and saying I

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00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,560
Speaker 2: was a bad friend who chose to end things when

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00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 2: things didn't go her way. She even tried to call

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00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:13,399
Speaker 2: my fiance a PDF file, and at this point she

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00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 2: also accused her ex husband and her sister's boyfriend of

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00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,919
Speaker 2: the same. She was losing her mind. She had my

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00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,360
Speaker 2: sister and her do witchcraft to break us apart. Why

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00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 2: is your sister assisting in this? Yeah, we would don't

359
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,080
Speaker 2: do witchcraft on me, sister. Gross. She was also really

360
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,600
Speaker 2: jealous I was becoming friends with our other friend without her.

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00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,280
Speaker 2: I would visit her house and she would want to

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00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,199
Speaker 2: know everything we talked about and obsessed over it. We

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00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,119
Speaker 2: have a little bit more story left.

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Speaker 1: Well, she sounds miserable, Kelly.

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Speaker 2: I mean, come on, are there no warning signs? Like

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Speaker 2: ahead of time, other than.

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Speaker 1: Just like like we're all in a couple.

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Speaker 2: Was that it?

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00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 1: There had to have been more. I mean sounded too

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Speaker 1: like she was also just causing drama within the business

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Speaker 1: and like her own ideas and not like agreeing, but like, wow,

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Speaker 1: that's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't like your idea. I'm going to implode

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Speaker 2: the entire operation. Yeah, let's finish this. In all honesty,

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Speaker 2: I don't know why she did what she did. To

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00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,800
Speaker 2: this day, my fiance has never cheated or broken my trust.

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00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,919
Speaker 2: We both sit back and wonder why it happened. We

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00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 2: feel like we lost a good friend. But after everything,

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00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 2: I wouldn't rekindle the friendship, especially with what she said

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00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:26,240
Speaker 2: about my fiance to my sister. What are your opinions

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00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 2: on this? And why do you think Kelly did all

382
00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:30,439
Speaker 2: of this? Could it have been because of our friend?

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00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,400
Speaker 2: I don't drive for personal reasons? He was the only

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00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,639
Speaker 2: way I can see her. Was it because she loved

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00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 2: him and he started fighting with her about our business?

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00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 2: Was it because of the problems with the business. Any

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00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,400
Speaker 2: thoughts are appreciated. I'm tired of reliving this in my head.

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00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 2: And no, there won't be any updates I don't plan

389
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,680
Speaker 2: on talking to her again, And there are some comments

390
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,639
Speaker 2: comment one. I could be wrong, but sometimes people sabotage

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00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 2: their friends when they themselves are not happy. I don't

392
00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 2: know the motivation for sure, but paining people as evil,

393
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,399
Speaker 2: cheating people when you see those same people as friends

394
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,880
Speaker 2: mean you don't see the world the same way anymore.

395
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 2: You are no longer friends. Is she jealous of your joy?

396
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 2: Is she in love with you? Is she sad she's alone?

397
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,880
Speaker 2: I don't know. She's using lies to manipulate you. So

398
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,399
Speaker 2: she is no longer a friend and that is the

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00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,560
Speaker 2: end of that story.

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00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:23,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, she sounds like she's just jous and not loving

401
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 1: her own self.

402
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't think the reasons really matter that much.

403
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:28,880
Speaker 2: I just think.

404
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 1: It's time to say by it's Yeah.

405
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:35,120
Speaker 2: What matters is that she's no longer around, and that's

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00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,240
Speaker 2: the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

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00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:42,199
Speaker 1: I want to leave my best friend's wedding early because

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00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,359
Speaker 1: of how she treated me.

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00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 2: It sounds pretty fair to me.

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00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 1: And this comes directly from the arslash Okay storytime subreddit.

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00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:53,400
Speaker 1: It's one of you guys. Oh boy, I'm twenty four

412
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 1: and have been friends with Trina twenty three for almost

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00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 1: ten years. We became friends freshman year of high school

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00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 1: and quickly grew very close. Our friendship was always a

415
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,360
Speaker 1: mix of good and bad times. By the way, this

416
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 1: comes from username and if you want to submit your

417
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,680
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

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00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

419
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 1: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

420
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,160
Speaker 1: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

421
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 1: do in the comments and Opie says during the early years,

422
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 1: she would slap me randomly. Whoa and the people pleaser

423
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,920
Speaker 1: I am did nothing about it.

424
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,639
Speaker 2: Just shouldn't have been friends with this person at.

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00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:39,919
Speaker 1: All sounds what she always talked down to me, didn't

426
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 1: encourage me, and overall was just a very negative person.

427
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,720
Speaker 1: Our first downfall happened after I met my now husband

428
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:53,280
Speaker 1: Hubbs twenty four, who was also Trina's first cousin. Hubbs

429
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,680
Speaker 1: saw the way Trina was treating me and did not

430
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,400
Speaker 1: like it at all. One night, we all got into

431
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 1: a huge argument over our relationship. We predicted that she

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00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,879
Speaker 1: didn't like us being together since she never encouraged me

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00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 1: or was happy for me. During this argument, Trina said

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Speaker 1: I'd never want a relationship like yours, so we cut

435
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 1: her off for a few months. We eventually rekindled and

436
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 1: slowly became best friends again. Flash forward to last year.

437
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 1: Trina was planning a birthday dinner and then after dinner

438
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,880
Speaker 1: go downtown. I agreed for Hubs to drive us there

439
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,640
Speaker 1: and be rdd. I was excited since I had never

440
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 1: been to clubs downtown. However, the day before Trina's birthday,

441
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,960
Speaker 1: Hubbs and I went downtown for his brother and sister

442
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,199
Speaker 1: in law's birthday. This is when I learned I hated

443
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 1: going downtown to rowdy clubs. Hubbs and I felt really uncomfortable,

444
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 1: especially since it was crowded. The next day, I texted

445
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,119
Speaker 1: Trina and told her that the plans for after dinner

446
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 1: weren't really my thing and that I'd be happy to

447
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 1: join for dinner then head home. Trina did not take

448
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 1: this well. She immediately became angry, calling us selfish and

449
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 1: saying we could go out for hubbs brother but not her.

450
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 1: I told her that she was being rude and that

451
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 1: I was just being honest. We are homebodies who like

452
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,679
Speaker 1: to stay in, play video games, watch anime, and go

453
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 1: to sleep. Before eleven, Trina was livid and uninvited us

454
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:23,160
Speaker 1: to her entire birthday celebration. Mind you, I'd asked Trina

455
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 1: to be my maid of honor at my wedding, which

456
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:29,879
Speaker 1: was seven months away. I was dumbfounded. Shortly after the

457
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:34,359
Speaker 1: birthday fiasco, I texted Trina and another friend that I

458
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,199
Speaker 1: had also asked to be a bridesmaid and said, in

459
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,479
Speaker 1: light of the recent situation, I feel it would be

460
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: best to ask you both to step down from the

461
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 1: bridesmaid role and play another role in my wedding, that

462
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 1: of a guest. I was furious and cut her off again.

463
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 1: Months later, we slowly started talking again and I apologized

464
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: for her out of the wedding party. She never apologized

465
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 1: for disinviting us to her birthday. I slowly allowed her back,

466
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 1: setting up heavy boundaries. This was the healthiest our friendship

467
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 1: had ever been. I even had Trina get ready with

468
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 1: the girls on my wedding day and her fiance, Derek

469
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 1: twenty three, became Hubbs' groomsmen since one backed out. The

470
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,680
Speaker 1: wedding day was great. We would go on double dates

471
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 1: and even picked up a sport to play together.

472
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 2: Wow.

473
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 1: It was frustrating because Trina and Derek would argue almost

474
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 1: every time we played. After a few minutes of arguing,

475
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 1: Trina would decide all of us were done because she

476
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 1: was so Essentially, if she was tired of arguing, the

477
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 1: fun had to end. We invited them to every party

478
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,200
Speaker 1: and had game nights. All was well and she really

479
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 1: did feel like family. Now onto the main issue. Trina

480
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 1: and Derek have their wedding in two days. Hubbs and

481
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 1: I want to leave early right after the ceremony, and

482
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 1: here's why. Around a month and a half ago, I

483
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 1: texted Trina and asked where she wanted dinner for her

484
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: bachelorette party. I'm one of her bridesmaids. I asked if

485
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 1: we could not go downtown since I was uncomfortable with it,

486
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 1: and brought up some other restaurants more on my comfort level.

487
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,399
Speaker 1: She did not like that and claimed my not going

488
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 1: is controlling on Hubbs's part, even though I brought up

489
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 1: the issue and I was the one who felt uncomfortable.

490
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 1: I don't feel safe downtown. It gives me massive anxiety.

491
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: Hubs and I have boundaries for each other, such as

492
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 1: him not going to places where there are lots of

493
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: single women or women dressed provocatively as per my request.

494
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 1: In turn, I don't go places without him where he

495
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 1: thinks something bad could happen to me. We both suffer

496
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:43,160
Speaker 1: from anxiety, Hubs more so than I. We mutually agreed

497
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,959
Speaker 1: on these boundaries. Trina thought this was controlling and claimed

498
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 1: it was potentially harmful behavior on his part. No, I

499
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 1: mean it is mutual, so I don't know that it's

500
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: one sided harmful. But it does sound a little bit.

501
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: It sounds you guys are fine.

502
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 2: Sounds like two people with anxiety. Yes, setting that is

503
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,959
Speaker 2: fair strange boundaries.

504
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 1: But it helps them because they have anxiety. Whatever works

505
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 1: for you, guys, in your relationship, you might need to

506
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 1: go out of your comfort your cousin's bachelor.

507
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,639
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, folks, but women exist, as does danger, and

508
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 2: you just got should and prevent either of you from

509
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,959
Speaker 2: moving freely or living your lives without the other present.

510
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,360
Speaker 1: We just update the code in their brains so they

511
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 1: can never perceive women again. Dakota recently had his installs.

512
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, so all I see our blank spaces. I'm just

513
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 2: talking to empty space right now.

514
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 1: We put a friend pass in you can see friends, right.

515
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 2: I forgot about that.

516
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:43,119
Speaker 1: Ye, I'm here Still. We went back and forth and

517
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 1: I told her my relationship is between my husband and me.

518
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 1: She said she would continue to call out things like

519
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 1: that because of what happened to other friends in actual

520
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 1: harmful relationships. I told Trina my relationship is far from harmful,

521
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: and she should know that since it's her cousin I'm

522
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:03,919
Speaker 1: married to. I asked her to apologize. After asking around

523
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 1: seven times, she finally gave me a half apology. I'm

524
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 1: sorry you feel that way. I just ended with I'll

525
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 1: just DoorDash or get food and meet you guys back

526
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: at your place, thinking we could work things out later

527
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 1: because Hubbs was very upset. A few days later, Derek

528
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 1: asked Hubbs to send options for his bachelor night since

529
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: Hubbs was the best man. Hubbs sent options and Derek

530
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 1: seemed to like them. Hubbs asked Derek to make a

531
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 1: group chat with all the grooms men since Hubbs didn't

532
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 1: have their numbers. Derek didn't make it for three days,

533
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 1: and when he finally did, he said, oh, I thought

534
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 1: you were the one that left me on Red When

535
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 1: Hubbs was the last attext Derek made the group chat

536
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 1: and Hubbs provided a list of options with prices per

537
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 1: Derek's request. Since he mentioned a budget, no one responded

538
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 1: to Hubbs even after a month. A few days before

539
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 1: the bachelor party, Trina texted me saying Hubbs did not

540
00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 1: do his job as best man and they're disappointed. I

541
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 1: was confused and told Trina that Hubbs provided everything Derek

542
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,120
Speaker 1: asked for. Trina went on about how nothing was set

543
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 1: in stone and they wanted to switch who the best

544
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: man was. Trina went on for hours, saying that Hubbs

545
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 1: and I are in the wrong. Hubbs tried but got

546
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,639
Speaker 1: no response from the other groomsmen an didn't want to

547
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 1: make a plan no one could afford. Hubbs admitted over

548
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 1: the phone with Derek he could have done more, but

549
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 1: with a group chap full of cricket noises even when

550
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 1: the groom texted, it was hard to make a plan.

551
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 1: Derek agreed and apologized. Derek and Trina chose another groomsman

552
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 1: to be best man, and he sent in a plan

553
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 1: to go to a restaurant then to an event place. However,

554
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 1: the new best man didn't make reservations and Hubbs was

555
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: the one who made them, even though he was demoted.

556
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 1: That night, I was hanging out with Trina and the bridesmaids.

557
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: Hubbs and I agreed we'd be home around eleven thirty.

558
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 1: Initially the plan was for the girls to sleep over

559
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: at Trina's and then it became two nice in a row.

560
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: After everything she said to Hubbs and me, we agreed

561
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: sleeping over wasn't best. Trina didn't like this, even though

562
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 1: I live five minutes away and wanted to sleep in

563
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 1: my own bed. Recently, it was my birthday. Trina told

564
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 1: me she won't plan anything on the day I have

565
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 1: my party. This was before all the issues. Then she

566
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: texted me a week before that she couldn't make it

567
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: due to work and homework. I was upset and responded

568
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 1: with okay. The same day of my party, Hubbs' grandparents

569
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: also had a party. Trina showed up for that, then

570
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 1: ran Errand's and had dinner with Derek. I don't think

571
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: she realized we still have life three sixty and could

572
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: see where they were. They lied before to avoid events.

573
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 1: Hubbs had a passing in the family, and Trina stated

574
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: she had a mandatory meeting with her adviser when she

575
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 1: was actually getting a facial at a salon we both

576
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 1: go to. It would be nice to get honesty instead

577
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 1: of lying. If she'd at least stopped by my party,

578
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 1: I don't think i'd be making this post, but the

579
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: situation puts a bad taste in my mouth, and I'm

580
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 1: not sure I want to be her friend anymore. I

581
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: bet you're wondering why we're still going to the wedding.

582
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 1: Hubbs's grandmother worked very hard to tailor the dress I bought,

583
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 1: and Hubbs already paid for the suit rental. We figured

584
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 1: we'd show up for the ceremony, then leave before the

585
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 1: reception so the clothes don't go to waste.

586
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 2: Well, okay, I think also just going to the wedding

587
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 2: anyway would just prevent way more of a like, you know,

588
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 2: hurricane of negativity, like raining onto your life.

589
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 1: I feel like, you go, you suck it up, You

590
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 1: have a good night with your husband, you don't even

591
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 1: need to interact with other people as much, and then

592
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 1: after that you don't need to be friends, just as

593
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 1: you don't need to be best friends if you want

594
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 1: to keep around because she's the first cousin of your husband. Sure,

595
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 1: but like they like, we don't need to be at

596
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: playing pickleball weekly level.

597
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't need to be making ourselves available all

598
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 2: the time for this person.

599
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I want to cut Trina off after the wedding.

600
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: I'm so tired of her negativity clouding my life and

601
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: making my marriage take a toll. So am I valid

602
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 1: for leaving the wedding early? Edit Number one? When I

603
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 1: say my husband doesn't go to places with provocatively dressed women,

604
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: I mean gentlemen's clubs at a Number two, Hubbs and

605
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 1: I were the only ones who helped Derek and Trina

606
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,959
Speaker 1: move multiple times. We helped even though we missed our

607
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 1: two year old nephew's birthday party. One time. We were

608
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: the only people who showed up to a gathering they planned.

609
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 1: Every time Trina needed validation, I was there. Trina held

610
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: her birthday party and the joint bachelor party at the

611
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 1: house we live in. Hubbs even heard Trina and another

612
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: friend talking bad about our relationship in the next room.

613
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: Trina made a comment to Hubbs after getting his recent job,

614
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 1: saying she'd be surprised if he lasted three months. No congrats,

615
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: not a single positive comment. Yes, I offered other options

616
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: for the bachelorette dinner because the location wasn't decided yet.

617
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: I expressed my fear, as friends should, we were almost

618
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 1: always there for them when no one else was. Trina

619
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 1: also has the same boundary with Derek about gentlemen's clubs,

620
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: as she views it as cheating. During the boys Bachelor night,

621
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 1: one of Derek's friends mentioned going to a club and

622
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 1: the only one who disagreed was Hubbs since he knew.

623
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 1: Since he knew it would negatively impact our relationship, Derek

624
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 1: was nagging at Hubbs, saying it's his night and he

625
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 1: wants to go. They didn't end up going since Hubbs

626
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 1: decided not to. I wonder if Trina knew this detail.

627
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder if she does know about that. Hmm.

628
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 2: What she did say she didn't want a relationship like

629
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 2: you and Hubbs, so maybe she prefers her fiance to

630
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 2: go to the gentleman's club. Secretly behind her back.

631
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 1: She's like, you have to do everything opposite of what

632
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 1: they did.

633
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 2: And please don't get in the middle of that. Do

634
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 2: not do not tell you that up what don't even bother,

635
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 2: just bother you don't have to do like a hard

636
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 2: cut off, like and I am closing our friendship. You

637
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:06,960
Speaker 2: can quiet quit this friendship after the wedding, and she

638
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 2: reduced the amount of drama and blowback you will receive

639
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 2: from it.

640
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 1: Which means more comfy, cozy nights in for you and Hubs.

641
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: How you guys like it?

642
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 2: Yes, so just ease away because especially and if look,

643
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 2: if she wasn't his cousin, yeah, I'd be more like,

644
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 2: you can do whatever you want, you know, but this

645
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 2: is someone who's like a part of his family and

646
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 2: she's probably still gonna be around, like at the events

647
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 2: or family gatherings, whatever holidays, So you don't want it

648
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 2: to be nuclear.

649
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 1: Right, And with how she's already treating you, I feel

650
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,480
Speaker 1: like she will step that up at family events if

651
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 1: you fully cut her off.

652
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:46,480
Speaker 2: So just pull back and you're busy. Oops, now I

653
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 2: can't make it that night.

654
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 1: Update Trina decided to make a decision for us yesterday,

655
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: oh minutes after I posted the rednit story, she Tubs

656
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 1: and I from the wedding party. Oh very conveniently after

657
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 1: Hubs two hundred dollars on a rental suit and two

658
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: days before the wedding. Okay, so we're not attending, not

659
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 1: even as guests. As she suggested, Hubbs is going to

660
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 1: take me on a nice date instead, and we're going

661
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 1: to focus on getting our future home, working on ourselves,

662
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 1: and prioritizing people who genuinely care about us. Ah yeah,

663
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: and hey, you can still wear those fancy wedding clothes

664
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 1: out for a fancy dinner.

665
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 2: That's right, that's what they're doing. They're gonna go fancy

666
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 2: dinner time. Yeah. I like that plan.

667
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 1: Thank you for all the comments. I removed Trina from

668
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: all social all social media. Glad to see she threw

669
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 1: away our friendship over me expressing my feelings and defending

670
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 1: my husband when she came to me about him not

671
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 1: doing enough as best man. I'd be surprised if I

672
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: made another update, but who knows. That's the end of that,

673
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 1: and I hope you don't because I hope that you

674
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 1: stay not friends with Trina.

675
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 2: True. Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to

676
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 2: this episode, but a quick three minute break with the

677
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 2: aser more sponsors.

678
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 1: My husband is in a state of psychosis and it's

679
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 1: ruining our marriage.

680
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,800
Speaker 2: That sounds very bad.

681
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 1: We have a trigger warning for emotional abuse. My husband

682
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,320
Speaker 1: and I have been married for six years. With no children.

683
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 1: But things have been rocky since the pandemic, especially for

684
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 1: the past year. I think we both slid into pretty

685
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:23,439
Speaker 1: deep depression because it changed our lives drastically. By the way,

686
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: this comes from difficult Hen thirty six to thirty three.

687
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: If you want to submit your own stories, go to

688
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 1: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Dakota,

689
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 1: and we're here to give good advice. Goofully, But we

690
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

691
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 1: so let us know what you would do in the comments.

692
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,800
Speaker 1: My husband went from a normal office job to working

693
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 1: remotely full time. I kept my job in a kitchen

694
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: but burned out badly by the end of twenty twenty

695
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: and now work part time as in adjunct at a

696
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:57,240
Speaker 1: culinary school. Before the pandemic, we were putting the pieces

697
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 1: in place to start a family, but now that is

698
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,680
Speaker 1: out of the question. When I met my husband, he

699
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 1: was semi religious. We both grew up Catholic, but he

700
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 1: went to Catholic school and was much more involved than

701
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: I was. He said he enjoyed going to Mass and

702
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: found peace in it. I was honest with him that

703
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,919
Speaker 1: while I think there may be a God, I had

704
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,320
Speaker 1: no interest in practicing or going to church. He stopped

705
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 1: going to Mass shortly after we met. We had a

706
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 1: full Catholic wedding with pre marital spiritual counseling, but I

707
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 1: tried to be honest that it wasn't doing anything for me.

708
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 1: Neither one of us attended Mass again since our wedding.

709
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,920
Speaker 1: He just didn't seem to care that much. We had

710
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 1: talks about faith and spirituality since then, and he always

711
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,839
Speaker 1: seemed to respect my point of view. In general, I

712
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 1: believe in science, intellect, and human connection. I believe in

713
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: love and doing right by people and taking care of

714
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 1: your loved ones. That's all the religion I need. He

715
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 1: agreed with what I was saying, but believed God was

716
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,919
Speaker 1: more involved in all of those things than I did.

717
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 1: We respected each other's point of view. In late twenty twenty,

718
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 1: my husband began to take adderall to help with his ADHD. Previously,

719
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 1: he had been controlling it with clean diet and exercise,

720
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 1: but struggled during the pandemic and became isolated and stopped

721
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 1: working out. I supported this decision. Unbeknownst to me, he

722
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: had begun increasing his dosage over the next few years

723
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 1: and stopped talking to me about it. When I asked,

724
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 1: he said it was his body. In January of twenty

725
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: twenty one, he was very involved in the Game Stop situation. Yes,

726
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,439
Speaker 1: he has always been interested in retail investing. He told

727
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: me he bought about twenty k in shares with money

728
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 1: from his portfolio and is holding those shares to this day.

729
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: I don't care about that money, but I think he

730
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 1: has made some really poor decisions since then. He took

731
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 1: a large position on Bed, Bath, and Beyond last year,

732
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 1: which is now worthless.

733
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 2: Right because they closed went out of.

734
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:03,720
Speaker 1: Business, and he purchased four k NFT that is also

735
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 1: pretty much worthless. We don't live paycheck to paycheck, but

736
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:10,760
Speaker 1: don't really have money to throw around either. Our house

737
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,720
Speaker 1: is old and needs costly repairs. Since the Game Stops saga,

738
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 1: he has been a very person All he cares about

739
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 1: is stocks and money, and our marriage has fallen apart.

740
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 1: When I try to talk to him, he blames me

741
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 1: because I only work part time and he has to

742
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 1: work at a job he hates, but he says he

743
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 1: does it for me.

744
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,879
Speaker 2: Oh my god, everyone stopped the presses. This guy has

745
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 2: a job he doesn't like.

746
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: I noticed last year that he had been funneling money

747
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 1: from our joint account into his portfolio. In the past

748
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,360
Speaker 1: two years, it has been fifteen K, when we only

749
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,759
Speaker 1: agreed on two hundred dollars a month. When I asked

750
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,359
Speaker 1: him about money, he blows up and says it's his

751
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: money and that I don't have a right to talk

752
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: because I only bring in about forty to fifty K

753
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,439
Speaker 1: a year. Everything came to a head in the past

754
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 1: six months. In July, his father passed away very suddenly,

755
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,760
Speaker 1: leaving his mother alone. My husband is an only child

756
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: and we live about an hour away from my mother

757
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 1: in law. Over the next six months, my husband dealt

758
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 1: with his grief by getting high and skipping his adderall

759
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 1: on the weekends, essentially leaving him in a coma on

760
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 1: the couch. When I would ask him to spend time

761
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,360
Speaker 1: with me, he would get mad because he's tired from work.

762
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,799
Speaker 1: He said he essentially works two jobs. One is his

763
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: regular remote job and the other is the time he

764
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 1: spends researching stocks. Throughout December of twenty twenty three, his

765
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,440
Speaker 1: mother started to decline very rapidly. We eventually took her

766
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: to the er and learned that she had very aggressive

767
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:44,240
Speaker 1: terminal brain camps. Her prognosis with treatment was still only

768
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 1: about six months, and in the past few days she

769
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:51,479
Speaker 1: has refused treatment. She has about one to three months now,

770
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 1: but could go at any time. My husband is power

771
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 1: of attorney and took a leave of absence from work

772
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 1: to be with her. The past month has been very difficult.

773
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:03,359
Speaker 1: At first, I was going to the hospital with him

774
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,839
Speaker 1: almost every day. After a couple of weeks, he got

775
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 1: very paranoid when he heard me talking on the phone

776
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: to my mother and would hang up. When he walked

777
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: up to me later that night, he said he was

778
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: suspicious and thought I was only hanging around so much

779
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 1: so that I could get to his mother's money. Ridiculous.

780
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:21,880
Speaker 1: I stopped going to the hospital with him for the

781
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 1: next week, but one night he came home pathetic and

782
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 1: sobbing and asked me to go because he thought she

783
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 1: was near the end. She was the same as she

784
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 1: had been the previous week. The past couple of weeks

785
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 1: have been a cycle of us avoiding each other, with

786
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 1: short breaks where he will scream at me for something

787
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 1: or another. I try to remain as calm as I

788
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:44,240
Speaker 1: can but eventually I will lock myself in our bedroom.

789
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 1: Occasionally he will try to have an actual conversation with

790
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:52,399
Speaker 1: me and apologize for saying terrible things. That I'm wretched, valueless,

791
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 1: and all I do is eat. He said he wanted

792
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: to talk to a priest and get back to his faith.

793
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 1: I said I supported that, but that he needs profefe

794
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: rational mental health help as well, but he said he

795
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: didn't have time for both. In the past few days,

796
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 1: it has gotten so much worse than I could have

797
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 1: ever predicted. He says he felt a shift in the

798
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 1: world a few days ago and has let the spirit in.

799
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: He has been commenting on Twitter that he believes the

800
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: world is in its fourth turning and that Donald Trump

801
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,880
Speaker 1: will usher in the second coming of Christ.

802
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 2: I found the psychosis there.

803
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 1: It is, folks, he hates Trump, but he thinks it

804
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: is a fore told or whatever. He has also told

805
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 1: me that he thinks Ryan Cohen CEO of Kamstop is

806
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:36,280
Speaker 1: literally Jesus.

807
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 2: So he's back already.

808
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:43,320
Speaker 1: Okay, the wait I thought he was coming back from Trump.

809
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:47,359
Speaker 2: I think clearly this is a cute mental health breakdown

810
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:49,760
Speaker 2: that needs serious attention.

811
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 1: The first time he said it, I brushed it off

812
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:56,440
Speaker 1: because it was such lunacy, but he has repeated it earnestly.

813
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:59,400
Speaker 1: He thinks he is part of a global movement to

814
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: defeat evil via the stock market and game stop shares.

815
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,400
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding, he said, I need to admit my

816
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:11,320
Speaker 1: faults because only Christ and Ryan Cohen walk the earth

817
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 1: without sin. I feel stupid or just for typing that.

818
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,880
Speaker 1: At this point. I've alerted his uncle and cousins because

819
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 1: I am helpless here. They are trying to talk to

820
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: him and have been very supportive. I moved a bulk

821
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 1: of our joint account into a private account to protect it.

822
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:27,879
Speaker 1: When I came home from work tonight, he was very

823
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 1: nice to me and had dinner waiting. I sat down

824
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 1: to eat, and he announced that he thought we should

825
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 1: pursue counseling through the church. I said no, and that

826
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 1: I wasn't interested in spirituality or going back to faith.

827
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 1: I asked about seeing a professional and he said he

828
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 1: would only consider it if I would open myself up

829
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,799
Speaker 1: to the idea of religion. I said no, and that

830
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 1: it was my bottom line. He said my life would

831
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,279
Speaker 1: be meaningless without God and that I was in the

832
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 1: wrong for not being open to it. He kept asking

833
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 1: me why I wouldn't consider it, but when I answered

834
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 1: that I didn't believe he would mock me and say

835
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 1: he didn't listen to my answer. I just got up

836
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 1: and locked myself in our bedroom. I don't want to

837
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 1: leave my house, but I don't see how much more

838
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: I can take. An update.

839
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think it should be over. I

840
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,360
Speaker 2: think from the very beginning, you being like I don't

841
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 2: believe in religion and him having been very religious, and

842
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 2: then he stops going to Mass or whatever.

843
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 1: Well, they both grew up religious.

844
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I just think that that's that was his

845
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 2: telltale sign. It's like he just I think he just

846
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 2: changed that to play Kate and then he now he's

847
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,319
Speaker 2: rediscovered it. And it's like, because when you're dealing with

848
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 2: somebody who's like, yeah, your immortal soul will be forever damn, Like,

849
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 2: it's like they're not really gonna relent on the belief

850
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 2: that they want to like save you, because then like

851
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:46,879
Speaker 2: with you know, that's it's a huge deal. So I

852
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 2: I yeah. And then that combined with everything else, combined

853
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 2: with the fact that he stole ten thousand dollars from

854
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,320
Speaker 2: your joint account, he doesn't respect that you make money,

855
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:58,839
Speaker 2: you know, working part time. He doesn't, doesn't you know?

856
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 2: And you're at this point communication style is lock myself

857
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 2: in the bedroom. When we communicate and don't agree, I.

858
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 1: Just well, not even that, I feel like too, Like

859
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 1: she does. Try to communicate for a while, and then

860
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 1: he just braides her and mocks her so much that

861
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:13,919
Speaker 1: she's like, I'm over and I'm going to the bedroom now,

862
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 1: right like she was giving it a try, I left.

863
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 1: Things only got worse from where I left the original post.

864
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:23,880
Speaker 1: My husband had slightly eased on some of his delusional thinking,

865
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 1: but started talking about everything I had done to contribute

866
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:31,399
Speaker 1: to the demise of our marriage. This included going back

867
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 1: to when we were dating and rewriting the narrative. He

868
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 1: said he has always been the breadwinner, when in reality,

869
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 1: he moved into my apartment when we were dating and

870
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 1: we split the bills fifty to fifty until we were married.

871
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: When he got paid on Monday, he transferred his entire

872
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 1: check into his private account. When I asked him about it,

873
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 1: he said, I'm not being a wife to him, so

874
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 1: he shouldn't have to be a husband to me. I asked,

875
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 1: if that's how we wanted things to go, and he

876
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 1: said no and that he would transfer them back, but

877
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 1: it would take a few days because he had moved

878
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 1: a majority into his portfolio. I made the decision to

879
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,280
Speaker 1: remove the remainder of the balance of our joint account

880
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:13,479
Speaker 1: into my private account to protect it, and he took

881
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 1: that surprisingly well. Two days later, we got into an

882
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 1: argument because out of nowhere, he said he would understand

883
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 1: if I wanted to leave. I said, fine, you can

884
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 1: keep your portfolio, but I want the house. From my

885
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 1: limited understanding of his investments, this would be a pretty

886
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 1: equal distribution of our assets. He became furious and said

887
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 1: I had no right to touch his portfolio and that

888
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 1: it was his money in the first place. He said

889
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:40,839
Speaker 1: he had been providing for me and that I would

890
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:44,319
Speaker 1: have nothing without him. He started screaming and picked up

891
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:47,879
Speaker 1: my laptop and cell phone, stating that he purchased those two,

892
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 1: and started running towards the back door. I followed him

893
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 1: as he ran outside barefoot with my things, and I

894
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:59,240
Speaker 1: threatened to harm his cat. I would never ever harm

895
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 1: a cat, but I panicked and said the first thing

896
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 1: I could think of to get him to stop. My

897
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: phone was my only way to call for help, and

898
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 1: my laptop has all my work on it. It worked,

899
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,280
Speaker 1: and he started walking back towards the house, but wouldn't

900
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:15,360
Speaker 1: hand me back my things. I got inside and locked

901
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 1: him out and saw he had left his phone. I

902
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 1: dialed nine one one and told him to leave my

903
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,920
Speaker 1: things outside and step back, or I would call. He

904
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,400
Speaker 1: did leave my things, and I got them back and

905
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 1: let him back in, thinking he would have cooled down.

906
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:30,719
Speaker 1: He didn't and continued to scream at me until I

907
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:33,479
Speaker 1: called my sister to come over. I started to pack

908
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 1: and he followed me yelling. Ten minutes later, my sister

909
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 1: pulled up and he ran outside to talk to her.

910
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 1: She just listened quietly until I came out and we

911
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 1: went to her house. I've been here for three days

912
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: and I already feel better. I'm sleeping better, and I've

913
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 1: gotten a lot of work done that I haven't been

914
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 1: able to do at home because all the drama had

915
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 1: left me feeling brainless. I blocked my husband's number, but

916
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 1: forgot to block him on social media. He sent me

917
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 1: about twenty mins messages that either accuse me of stealing

918
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 1: his money, cheating, or they are apologies asking me to

919
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 1: face my faults and behavior. He has also sent my

920
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 1: sister's fiance. My sister's fiance dozens of texts in the

921
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 1: middle of the night explaining his side of the story.

922
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,920
Speaker 1: My sister's fiance went with me back to the house

923
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 1: to get more of my things, and my husband was

924
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 1: there but didn't try to say anything and left. He

925
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 1: sent me a message saying he had a counseling session

926
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 1: and asked me to wait for him to work through something.

927
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 1: I can wait for him if he really does get help,

928
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 1: but I'm very angry that I had to leave. My

929
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 1: mother in law's house is sitting empty, and my husband

930
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 1: could very easily stay there and let me stay home.

931
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 1: He is on a leave of absence from work and

932
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 1: doesn't have to drive anywhere, but I do. I will

933
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 1: be even angrier if I have to get an apartment

934
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:53,880
Speaker 1: while he has two houses and I have to figure

935
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 1: this out on my own. I can do it, but

936
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 1: I think it would be the crap cherry on the

937
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 1: top of a tird Sunday. I want to reiterate that

938
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 1: no cats were harmed in the making of this Reddit post,

939
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,919
Speaker 1: and I apologize for even evoking their innocent name.

940
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think I'd wait, sister, I would just

941
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 2: start moving on and get in my own help.

942
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:18,439
Speaker 1: Ooh, and that's the end of this story. We're going

943
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 1: on to the next one.

944
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:24,239
Speaker 2: My stepdaughter stole my son's car and now everything is

945
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:25,359
Speaker 2: in shambles.

946
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:26,320
Speaker 1: Get out my car.

947
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:30,200
Speaker 2: I have a son, Max, eighteen male with my ex,

948
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:33,720
Speaker 2: and a stepdaughter, Kelly, twenty one female. My wife Jamie

949
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 2: and I share a daughter, seven female. Since we got

950
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 2: married eight years ago, I have put equal amounts of

951
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:42,360
Speaker 2: money towards college and things like a car for Max

952
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:44,879
Speaker 2: and Kelly. The amount I said was enough for Kelly

953
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 2: to live at home and go to a local state school.

954
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,360
Speaker 2: The amount I put away for a car was just

955
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:52,399
Speaker 2: enough to buy a very old, used car that would run,

956
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 2: but not much more. By the way, this comes from

957
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 2: user fit use nine to four one seven and if

958
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:00,239
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

959
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime sub reddit. I'm Dakota, I'm Carly,

960
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 2: and we're here to give good advice goofully, But we

961
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

962
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:09,480
Speaker 2: would do, So if you would do something different, let

963
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 2: us know in the comments. While I have put equal

964
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,760
Speaker 2: money away for them both over the last eight years.

965
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 2: Max also has access to money from my ex and

966
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:21,479
Speaker 2: my ex's parents, so he got a brand new full

967
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 2: sized SUV when he turned sixteen. His mom paid for

968
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,960
Speaker 2: it and it's in her name. She also pays the insurance.

969
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 2: In the fall, he will be going to college out

970
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 2: in California. We live in the Midwest. He's also been

971
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,800
Speaker 2: across the world with his mom. Kelly would like to travel,

972
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,120
Speaker 2: but does not have the money to do so. Because

973
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:42,720
Speaker 2: of these things, there has been some jealousy from Kelly

974
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 2: towards my son. Additionally, Kelly has a set of six

975
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:48,759
Speaker 2: friends who she's been close to for the whole ten

976
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 2: years I've known her. Early last week, I was out

977
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 2: of town for work. Jamie, with our youngest, was visiting

978
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,359
Speaker 2: her sister. Kelly and Max were the only people at home.

979
00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 2: The youngest of Kelly's close friend group, who also recently

980
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,440
Speaker 2: got engaged, Annie, turned twenty one last week. A lot

981
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 2: of them were only in town through last week because

982
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 2: they're starting internships this week. The group wanted to get

983
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:12,400
Speaker 2: together and celebrate Annie's birthday and engagement. Kelly asked to

984
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 2: use Max's car so they could be in one vehicle

985
00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:17,720
Speaker 2: for the night. Kelly said she would not be drinking

986
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 2: and would be the designated driver. Max told her no.

987
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 2: Max usually goes to bed around nine thirty ish. He

988
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:27,279
Speaker 2: went to bed and Kelly took his keys and took

989
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:29,719
Speaker 2: the car. Around midnight, he woke up to use the

990
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 2: bathroom and saw the car was gone. He got on

991
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 2: the app and saw the location of his car. He

992
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:37,360
Speaker 2: got his spare keys, took an uber to the location,

993
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 2: got in the car, and drove it home. A couple

994
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 2: of hours later, Kelly called Max frantic. She told him

995
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:44,879
Speaker 2: the car might have been stolen. One of the other

996
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 2: girls was on the phone with the police. Max told her, Nope,

997
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 2: the car's at home. He came and got it. She

998
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:52,960
Speaker 2: then said how is she supposed to get home? He

999
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,759
Speaker 2: told her that was for her to figure out and

1000
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 2: hung up. Kelly does not use ride shairs because of

1001
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:59,359
Speaker 2: a creepy experience a couple of years ago that left

1002
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 2: her a bit trauma. Kelly called Jamie and told her

1003
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 2: about the situation. Jamie called Max and demanded he pick

1004
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 2: up Kelly. He refused. Jamie called me and told me

1005
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 2: about the situation and told me to make Max pick

1006
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:13,839
Speaker 2: her up. I told her Max is in the right

1007
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:15,880
Speaker 2: and I'm not going to make him pick her up.

1008
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 2: Kelly got home, but it took an hour of calling

1009
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:21,279
Speaker 2: around so everyone could be picked up. When my wife

1010
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,759
Speaker 2: and I got back home a few days later, we

1011
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,880
Speaker 2: had a family discussion about it. Jamie asked both that

1012
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 2: Kelly and Max apologized to each other. Max refused because

1013
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,200
Speaker 2: he did nothing wrong. Kelly got upset and said Max

1014
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 2: gets everything while she gets nothing. I told Kelly that

1015
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:38,680
Speaker 2: if she feels what her mother and I have worked

1016
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:41,319
Speaker 2: and sacrificed to give her is nothing, she is free

1017
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 2: to not take our money and pay tuition in the fall,

1018
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 2: and she can move out at any time. Comments here

1019
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:50,440
Speaker 2: comment one info. Do you know what story Kelly spun

1020
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 2: to Jamie about the car? Get to the bottom of

1021
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:55,080
Speaker 2: that first, Opie says, I know what she told her.

1022
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 2: All the facts are agreed to by Max and Kelly.

1023
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 2: It's not a situation where Max is saying one thing

1024
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,240
Speaker 2: and key Kelly's saying another. OPI responds to a comment

1025
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,759
Speaker 2: on having Max's car at his ex's house. Since the

1026
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 2: car is under the ex wife's name, deal with the consequences.

1027
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 2: Opie says, why would I tell my son he can't

1028
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:11,920
Speaker 2: have his car at the house if Kelly can have

1029
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 2: her car at the house. Soaken Max. This incidence is

1030
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:17,840
Speaker 2: not a consequence of them having different cars. It's a

1031
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 2: consequence of Kelly acting way out of line. This would

1032
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:22,680
Speaker 2: be like me banning Kelly from having drinks in the

1033
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:25,319
Speaker 2: house because Max can't have it. I gave them each

1034
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 2: the exact same amount of money for a car. Opi

1035
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 2: responds to another comment on why Max was having a

1036
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 2: better car. Opie says, as someone who grew up on

1037
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:35,480
Speaker 2: food stamps, I consider it incredibly strange to think walking

1038
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 2: away from a good four year without debt is nothing

1039
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 2: that is insane. I'm the first person with a high

1040
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 2: school diploma in my bloodline. Regarding Max, in order to

1041
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 2: get his car, he had to meet a bevy of

1042
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:51,000
Speaker 2: conditions regarding grades, volunteering, working extra curriculars, chores, et cetera.

1043
00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:53,560
Speaker 2: In order to keep it, he had to meet additional

1044
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,759
Speaker 2: conditions regarding him going to college. His mom gave him

1045
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:58,839
Speaker 2: a list of thirty colleges for which she would pay for.

1046
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 2: He got into multi of these schools and is going

1047
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:04,120
Speaker 2: to one of them in California. Everything Max has gotten

1048
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 2: from his mom has come with a number of conditions.

1049
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:08,319
Speaker 2: Everything Max and Kelly have received from my wife and

1050
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 2: I have not. He has had to do a whole

1051
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 2: lot of things to get what he has. Where is

1052
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 2: Kelly's father in all this? What about Kelly's extended family

1053
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 2: members who can help with Kelly's funds Op replies, her

1054
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:22,240
Speaker 2: dad is in an out of rehab and or jail,

1055
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,640
Speaker 2: and has been the whole time I've been around. He

1056
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 2: grew up in foster care. My wife's parents are retired

1057
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 2: teachers and live on a tight budget, so in terms

1058
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:33,400
Speaker 2: of financial contribution, do not have much to give. My

1059
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 2: wife is a stay at home mom, So really, if

1060
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,000
Speaker 2: I did not put money aside for Kelly, she would

1061
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 2: not have many options to pay for school other than

1062
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 2: student loans, and she would be limited in loans she

1063
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,439
Speaker 2: could get because my income is fairly high and would

1064
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:48,439
Speaker 2: have been included on the FAFSA application. Comment number two

1065
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:51,880
Speaker 2: not the a hole. I think Max's mother should be involved.

1066
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 2: She pays the insurance and probably has her and Max's

1067
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 2: name on it. You said there's been some jealousy, so,

1068
00:53:57,280 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 2: which probably means Kelly treats Max badly. Max does not

1069
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 2: need to apologize because he did nothing wrong. It max

1070
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 2: a lockbox so his keys won't be stolen again. Opie says,

1071
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 2: I didn't put in the post, but I told her

1072
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:10,080
Speaker 2: that if she ever does something like this again, it

1073
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,000
Speaker 2: will be a call to the police and she will

1074
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:14,960
Speaker 2: be removed from the house, no questions asked. I did

1075
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:17,160
Speaker 2: not put it in the post because those are conditions

1076
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,560
Speaker 2: that Jamie agrees with me on, so it's not part

1077
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 2: of a conflict. Comment three says it's interesting she agrees

1078
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:24,799
Speaker 2: with that, but doesn't think her entitled twenty one year

1079
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 2: old adult should be apologizing for stealing someone's vehicle. Not

1080
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 2: only should she make sure she apologizes, but she should

1081
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 2: make her thank your son for not reporting his vehicle stolen.

1082
00:54:36,120 --> 00:54:39,719
Speaker 1: Loki, she reported herself stealing the vehicle by calling the

1083
00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 1: cops and be like, the car's gone, it's been stolen.

1084
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, she stole it first.

1085
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of crazy way by by you did

1086
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: you steal the car? She definitely should apologize for taking it.

1087
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 2: Still, Jamie should also be thanking you for paying for

1088
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,120
Speaker 2: her daughter and providing for her when she thinks so

1089
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:57,280
Speaker 2: lowly of your son and you allow it. Opie says

1090
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:01,240
Speaker 2: she does think Kelly should apologize, and Kelly he has apologized.

1091
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 2: The conflict is over whether Max should apologize to Kelly.

1092
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 2: Everyone agrees Kelly should apologize to Max, including Kelly. Opi

1093
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:11,000
Speaker 2: clarifies how Max and Kelly receive treatments and things from

1094
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:14,680
Speaker 2: their families. Opie says, how has Max been treated differently

1095
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:17,359
Speaker 2: by me? I cannot nor should I dictate what his

1096
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,360
Speaker 2: mom can or cannot do for him, and they both

1097
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:23,320
Speaker 2: have been spoiled. Kelly has received things from my wife's

1098
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:25,760
Speaker 2: family to the exclusion of Max. There was a while

1099
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 2: early in our marriage where Kelly's dad had some money

1100
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 2: and bought her a number of very nice things diamond earrings,

1101
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 2: two thousand dollars, perse, et cetera, and I did not

1102
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 2: interfere with that. On the rare occasion he has paid

1103
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 2: child support, that money has gone directly to Kelly. The

1104
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 2: reason I have been able to save as much as

1105
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:45,200
Speaker 2: I have for Kelly is because Max's mom gifted me

1106
00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 2: the house in the divorce, so Kelly has tangentially benefited

1107
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 2: from her generosity. Plus, all of the things Max gets

1108
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:55,120
Speaker 2: from my ex come with a number of conditions. He

1109
00:55:55,239 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 2: is not getting them automatically OPI on the living situation

1110
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,439
Speaker 2: with Jamie and Kelly. Op says we did not move

1111
00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:05,000
Speaker 2: into Kelly's space. Kelly moved into ours. Max had a

1112
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 2: bedroom and a separate room for all of his games

1113
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 2: and toys. He had to give up his game slash

1114
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 2: toy room and that became Kelly's room. I spoke to

1115
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:13,919
Speaker 2: Max and Jamie spoke to Kelly long before we got

1116
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:16,800
Speaker 2: married and made sure they were okay with everything. And

1117
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 2: there's an update. And I don't think that she moved

1118
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:19,560
Speaker 2: in when he was sixteen.

1119
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:21,919
Speaker 1: No, No, she moved in a while ago. I think

1120
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,080
Speaker 1: that saying like and he had to give up his

1121
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 1: gaming room for her to move in is a little like, well, yeah,

1122
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 1: she's moving into the house.

1123
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 2: Where did you want to Well, no, it is it's

1124
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 2: like imagine like, you know, I don't know when she

1125
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:35,160
Speaker 2: moved in, and he's like twelve for sure, So that's

1126
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 2: something that'll.

1127
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:39,560
Speaker 1: Like bump, but at the same time, like, yeah, no, crap,

1128
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: the human is going to get the room over your

1129
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:43,040
Speaker 1: video games.

1130
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:44,919
Speaker 2: We have another update two and a half weeks later.

1131
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,759
Speaker 2: A couple of days ago, Kelly asked Max to use

1132
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:49,680
Speaker 2: his car to pick up a TV she had bought

1133
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:52,400
Speaker 2: before the incident. In the original post, on a few occasions,

1134
00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:55,720
Speaker 2: Max had used his car to help Kelly transport something.

1135
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:58,759
Speaker 2: Max refused Kelly's request and told her he will not

1136
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 2: be helping with things like that in the future. Kelly

1137
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:03,399
Speaker 2: talked to Jamie, and Jamie just matter of fact told

1138
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:05,799
Speaker 2: Kelly that this was a consequence of her actions and

1139
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:07,520
Speaker 2: she needed to learn to deal with it. That went

1140
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 2: over about as well as a lead balloon. Kelly got

1141
00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:12,360
Speaker 2: pissed at Jamie and said she's moving out and she

1142
00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:14,439
Speaker 2: does not need our money. Jamie said she was being

1143
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 2: incredibly ungrateful and selfish, but told her she was free

1144
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 2: to leave. So Kelly is planning on being gone by

1145
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:23,480
Speaker 2: July first come at one. I still can't get over

1146
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:25,840
Speaker 2: the fact this brat stole your son's car, and then

1147
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 2: when he took it back her and her mother somehow

1148
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:30,560
Speaker 2: thought he was the bad guy. Opie, you were not

1149
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 2: the a hole in the first post, and you're not

1150
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 2: the a hole now. I am curious, though, what brought

1151
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 2: on the change from your wife hope, He says. I

1152
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:40,240
Speaker 2: think people got the wrong impression. Jamie always thought Kelly

1153
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:42,480
Speaker 2: was wrong. She backed me up when I told Kelly

1154
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 2: if she ever does something like that again, police will

1155
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,000
Speaker 2: be called and she'll be removed from the house. She

1156
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 2: thinks Max still should have picked Kelly up. It is

1157
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:53,720
Speaker 2: not because she thinks what Kelly and Max did our equivalent,

1158
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 2: but she felt they both did something wrong, even if

1159
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:59,360
Speaker 2: Max's actions were only slightly wrong. In her mind, she

1160
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 2: thinks Kelly's actions are egregious, but Max still should have

1161
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:05,520
Speaker 2: picked her up and was wrong for not doing so.

1162
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:08,280
Speaker 2: Comment to ask your wife why she didn't call a

1163
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:10,760
Speaker 2: taxi to take all the young women home. A taxi

1164
00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:13,200
Speaker 2: isn't a ride share. A taxi driver is a licensed

1165
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:17,520
Speaker 2: professional working for a local business. That's why they're more expensive. Okay,

1166
00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:20,640
Speaker 2: why didn't Your wife insists that her daughter contacts parents

1167
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 2: of the other six girls to come and get them.

1168
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:24,640
Speaker 2: Neither one of you has a single adult friend who

1169
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:26,640
Speaker 2: would have picked them up as a favor. Your wife's

1170
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:28,440
Speaker 2: critical thinking skills are lacking. E.

1171
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,960
Speaker 1: Why are we coming over the life so much?

1172
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,040
Speaker 2: I hope just here and that this is not a

1173
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:36,360
Speaker 2: pattern with her, because she comes across as brainless in

1174
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 2: your posts. Her inability to think of some very obvious

1175
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:41,480
Speaker 2: solutions are not your son's problem. OHP says, our local

1176
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,840
Speaker 2: taxi service isn't twenty four hours, and this was at

1177
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,600
Speaker 2: two thirty in the morning on a weekday. Plus, Kelly

1178
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 2: is uncomfortable about using any service where someone, usually a man,

1179
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 2: would be driving her around. One of the other girl's

1180
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 2: parents did come get some of them, and some of

1181
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:56,160
Speaker 2: them got rides from a friend. And that is the

1182
00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:58,720
Speaker 2: end of that story. Yeah, that last comment needed some

1183
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:01,800
Speaker 2: critical thinking skills. They wont Hey, it's Sam, We're going

1184
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 2: to get back to these stories.

1185
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors. My

1186
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 1: wife taped over our security cameras to bring random men home.

1187
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:12,680
Speaker 2: Maybe they were there to work on the security cameras.

1188
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:15,880
Speaker 1: By thirty five male soon to be ex wife thirty

1189
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:19,320
Speaker 1: four female served me with divorce papers about a month ago.

1190
00:59:19,480 --> 00:59:22,320
Speaker 1: We have been together for ten years and married for

1191
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:25,840
Speaker 1: the last six. Currently we are cohabitating since we have

1192
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 1: two kids, three and one and a half. By the way,

1193
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:31,960
Speaker 1: this comes from uncivil Engineer one and if you want

1194
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 1: us to meet your own stories, go to the r

1195
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:35,040
Speaker 1: slash Okay storytime subreddit.

1196
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:37,200
Speaker 2: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota.

1197
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:39,120
Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice, Goofiley, but we

1198
00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:41,840
Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

1199
00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 1: so let us know what you would do in the comments.

1200
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:46,440
Speaker 1: For the last two weeks, after the kids go to sleep,

1201
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:51,440
Speaker 1: she has left for several hours, coming back generally past midnight.

1202
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 1: She always has a bad lie about what she is doing,

1203
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:56,840
Speaker 1: as she is a bad liar, and I know what

1204
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:59,560
Speaker 1: she says is a lie, but I just assumed she

1205
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 1: was star to see someone else. One of her friends

1206
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 1: called me today because she is worried about her long

1207
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:07,960
Speaker 1: conversation short the friend told me she is worried because

1208
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:10,760
Speaker 1: soon to be ex wife admitted to her that she

1209
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:13,479
Speaker 1: has slept with four different men in the last week

1210
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:16,800
Speaker 1: and is meeting a new guy again tonight. She also

1211
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:20,200
Speaker 1: admitted to unprotected, spicy sleep with at least two of

1212
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:22,440
Speaker 1: these men. The friend said, soon to be ex wife

1213
01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:26,720
Speaker 1: never crossed the cheating line before, but since I got served,

1214
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,480
Speaker 1: soon to be ex wife does not view this as cheating.

1215
01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:32,439
Speaker 1: Since we're not together, well, I will agree she has

1216
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:35,640
Speaker 1: the right to see other people. This really hurt finding

1217
01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:38,480
Speaker 1: out that not only did she move on fast, but

1218
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:41,600
Speaker 1: that since we had our youngest son, we have had

1219
01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:44,040
Speaker 1: a passed away bedroom, not from a lack of me

1220
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:47,440
Speaker 1: trying to be affectionate with her, but she always said

1221
01:00:47,480 --> 01:00:50,600
Speaker 1: she was overstimulated by the kids or tired from work.

1222
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 1: Even before marriage and kids, she was not the most

1223
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:57,360
Speaker 1: physically intimate person, but there was at least some so

1224
01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 1: for her to immediately start jumping into bed with men

1225
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:04,000
Speaker 1: she met online is very concerning to me. Soon to

1226
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:06,960
Speaker 1: be ex wife expressed again to me today how she

1227
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:10,080
Speaker 1: wants to cohabitate after the divorce so we can both

1228
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:12,800
Speaker 1: be around for the kids. But I can't see how

1229
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:15,840
Speaker 1: I'm expected to stay at home while she sleeps around

1230
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 1: with anyone that sends her a nice message on a

1231
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:20,840
Speaker 1: dating app. I also don't feel it is the best

1232
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 1: interest of the kids that mommy is out late and

1233
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 1: then is too tired every day to help them get

1234
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:29,640
Speaker 1: ready for daycare or really interact with them after daycare.

1235
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:32,920
Speaker 1: For the record, since the kids start at daycare, I

1236
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:35,440
Speaker 1: am primarily the one who gets them ready for daycare

1237
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:37,920
Speaker 1: and does the drop off. She used to help and

1238
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 1: pack their snacks and juices, but nothing for the last

1239
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 1: few months. We do alternate cooking days, so she does

1240
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:47,960
Speaker 1: help there, but I'm also the one who bathes them

1241
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 1: and gets them ready for bed. She will put them

1242
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:53,360
Speaker 1: to sleep, as our kids don't sleep unless someone lays

1243
01:01:53,400 --> 01:01:56,160
Speaker 1: next to them until they fall asleep. So what am

1244
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:58,840
Speaker 1: I supposed to do. I'm already talking to my lawyer

1245
01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 1: about our path moving forward regarding separating, and I already

1246
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:05,440
Speaker 1: expressed my interest in buying her out of the house

1247
01:02:05,840 --> 01:02:07,840
Speaker 1: so my kids have a safe home to grow up in.

1248
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 1: But should I try for more custody time. I can't

1249
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:13,720
Speaker 1: even look at her anymore, so cohabitating is out of

1250
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:16,040
Speaker 1: the question for me. Do I bring up my concerns

1251
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:18,120
Speaker 1: to her and tell her I know about her sleeping

1252
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:21,400
Speaker 1: with all these men. I'm honestly worried she is on

1253
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 1: a destructive path and something bad might happen to her.

1254
01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:26,960
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be controlling, as she is free

1255
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:29,160
Speaker 1: to do what she wants, but I feel like I

1256
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,720
Speaker 1: can't stay silent, as it's not right for me or

1257
01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:32,240
Speaker 1: the kids.

1258
01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:34,880
Speaker 2: I think if you were saying you wanted to do

1259
01:02:34,920 --> 01:02:37,080
Speaker 2: this because you were like I want to confront her,

1260
01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:39,480
Speaker 2: I'd be like, that's ridiculous and you shouldn't do that.

1261
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:42,040
Speaker 2: You should just move on and focus on your child.

1262
01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 2: But I think if you do want to bring it

1263
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 2: up in a way where it's like, hey, definitely preface

1264
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:48,680
Speaker 2: it with being like we're breaking up and you can

1265
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:51,880
Speaker 2: do whatever you want, but I do still care about you.

1266
01:02:52,160 --> 01:02:54,000
Speaker 2: I just want to make sure I know you're seeing

1267
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:55,800
Speaker 2: a lot of guys. I just want to make sure

1268
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 2: you're not doing something out of like impulse, or that

1269
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:02,400
Speaker 2: you're being safe. That's all. I just wanted to put

1270
01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:04,920
Speaker 2: that out there, and then she'll probably just, you know,

1271
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:07,320
Speaker 2: not be receptive to it. But if you want to

1272
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:09,680
Speaker 2: just get that out there for your own peace of mind,

1273
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:11,480
Speaker 2: I don't see a problem with that.

1274
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:14,920
Speaker 1: Comments comment One soon to be ex wife expressed again

1275
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 1: to me today how she wants to go habitate after

1276
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:19,600
Speaker 1: the divorce so we can both be around for the kids,

1277
01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:22,440
Speaker 1: and the commenter says, lol, of course she does. She

1278
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:26,080
Speaker 1: has babysitters, she doesn't have to pay, and just go

1279
01:03:26,160 --> 01:03:29,440
Speaker 1: around town getting wasted and hooking up and not worrying

1280
01:03:29,480 --> 01:03:31,680
Speaker 1: about the fact that she has two kids under five

1281
01:03:31,760 --> 01:03:34,919
Speaker 1: years old at home. Under no circumstances should you agree

1282
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 1: to this after the divorce's final, one of you is

1283
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:40,080
Speaker 1: going to have to move out. I strongly suggest her

1284
01:03:40,360 --> 01:03:43,120
Speaker 1: since she is the one who wants out and filed,

1285
01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:46,640
Speaker 1: so she should leave. Listen, document everything she is doing,

1286
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:48,680
Speaker 1: and give it to your lawyer. If you don't have

1287
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:51,720
Speaker 1: a lawyer, get one asap and do everything, he says.

1288
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:54,440
Speaker 1: Opie says, I asked the lawyer to see if there

1289
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:56,600
Speaker 1: was a way I could keep the house. I have

1290
01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 1: two boys and want them to grow up in a house.

1291
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:01,760
Speaker 1: If she got the house, I probably won't be able

1292
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:05,080
Speaker 1: to afford a new house anytime soon, since housing prices

1293
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:08,000
Speaker 1: in my area are insane and an apartment is nearly

1294
01:04:08,080 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 1: what I pay in mortgage. Now trying my best to

1295
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:13,080
Speaker 1: raise the boys in a house, but I guess it

1296
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:15,160
Speaker 1: is up to me and my lawyer to make that happen.

1297
01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:17,640
Speaker 1: I talk to my mother in law. She is shocked

1298
01:04:17,680 --> 01:04:19,800
Speaker 1: by us getting a divorce, not that it matters to

1299
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:22,880
Speaker 1: the court, but she also expressed I needed to keep

1300
01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 1: the house for the boys, and when I told her

1301
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:27,520
Speaker 1: if I don't get the house, I would move into

1302
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:29,520
Speaker 1: an apartment, she offered for me to move in with

1303
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:32,360
Speaker 1: her and boys and my rent would be saving for

1304
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:34,680
Speaker 1: a down payment for a new house. My brother in

1305
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:37,120
Speaker 1: law then called me and offered me the same thing.

1306
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:39,960
Speaker 1: They are actually two very good people. Not sure if

1307
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:43,360
Speaker 1: I would consider this, but at least I have options

1308
01:04:43,360 --> 01:04:45,440
Speaker 1: if the ex gets the house and we have an update.

1309
01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:48,880
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, thanks for your kind words and suggestions as

1310
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:51,160
Speaker 1: I move forward in my divorce. For those new here,

1311
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:53,640
Speaker 1: my soon to be ex wife hit me with divorce

1312
01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:56,120
Speaker 1: papers at the end of May. Since then, she has

1313
01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:59,440
Speaker 1: gone out several times with different men. After having a

1314
01:04:59,720 --> 01:05:02,840
Speaker 1: cold bedroom for nearly two years, well, soon to be

1315
01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:06,040
Speaker 1: ex wife admitted to me she has no longer been

1316
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:09,720
Speaker 1: emotionally or physically attracted to me for some time and

1317
01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:13,320
Speaker 1: was only sticking around for the kids three and eighteen months,

1318
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:16,040
Speaker 1: but decided she needed to move on. She has been

1319
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:19,760
Speaker 1: seeing other men plural but waited until she served me

1320
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:23,640
Speaker 1: to do it. We made two promises. Under no circumstances

1321
01:05:23,680 --> 01:05:26,479
Speaker 1: are these men to come anywhere near my kids since

1322
01:05:26,520 --> 01:05:29,480
Speaker 1: we are still cohabitating until the divorce is final, no

1323
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:32,040
Speaker 1: people in the house. I took the kids away this

1324
01:05:32,080 --> 01:05:35,000
Speaker 1: weekend to my brothers to enjoy the Fourth of July weekend.

1325
01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 1: Soon to be ex wife started acting funny. She wanted

1326
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 1: control of our shared ring cameras and wanted the account

1327
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:45,120
Speaker 1: admin password in case anything happened while I was away.

1328
01:05:45,320 --> 01:05:48,640
Speaker 1: She has access to the cameras, but everything is tied

1329
01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:51,720
Speaker 1: to my email. I thought this was strange since when

1330
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:55,360
Speaker 1: I travel for work, she never needed control, just access.

1331
01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:57,760
Speaker 1: But this comes in a little later. While I was

1332
01:05:57,800 --> 01:06:00,640
Speaker 1: away with the kids, she was cleaning the head I

1333
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 1: noticed she unplugged our internal camera in the kids room.

1334
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:06,240
Speaker 1: But whatever, we use that to watch the kids in

1335
01:06:06,240 --> 01:06:07,959
Speaker 1: case we step out of the room. If the kids

1336
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 1: aren't there, the inside camera isn't needed. She then taped

1337
01:06:11,520 --> 01:06:15,400
Speaker 1: over the doorbell camera because she is cleaning the porch

1338
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,640
Speaker 1: area and doesn't want it to get damaged.

1339
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:22,040
Speaker 2: So this is the most blatantly obvious, like I'm getting

1340
01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:24,400
Speaker 2: rid of the cameras so you don't see I'm bringing

1341
01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 2: people into the house.

1342
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:27,640
Speaker 1: I like that this is the path she went to,

1343
01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:30,280
Speaker 1: and not like I don't know, like oh, the power

1344
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:32,600
Speaker 1: went out and the cameras aren't working or something, which

1345
01:06:32,600 --> 01:06:34,200
Speaker 1: I'm sure they still do work.

1346
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:37,040
Speaker 2: But it's just like, just go somewhere out First, we.

1347
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:40,200
Speaker 1: Live in Florida and just went through two hurricanes. I'm

1348
01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:42,800
Speaker 1: sure the camera is going to be fine. But she

1349
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:45,760
Speaker 1: thinks I'm dumb and is a horrible liar. Side note,

1350
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:48,760
Speaker 1: she also did not call ortex wants to check on

1351
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:51,320
Speaker 1: the kids. I had to call her because the kids

1352
01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:54,320
Speaker 1: wanted to talk to her, but she was brief and

1353
01:06:54,360 --> 01:06:57,160
Speaker 1: didn't seem to really care that they wanted to say hi. Well,

1354
01:06:57,360 --> 01:07:01,439
Speaker 1: the real reason revealed itself shortly. Soon to be ex

1355
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:04,400
Speaker 1: wife brought some random man over to the house in

1356
01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:06,960
Speaker 1: front of my neighbors and everything. She brought this guy

1357
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:09,760
Speaker 1: into the house we share and where our kids live.

1358
01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:12,680
Speaker 1: We also have other cameras around the outside of the house,

1359
01:07:12,760 --> 01:07:14,680
Speaker 1: and I saw this guy in the front yard. I

1360
01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:16,720
Speaker 1: texted her and said, there's a random guy on the

1361
01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:18,600
Speaker 1: side of the house. She said it was a lawn

1362
01:07:18,680 --> 01:07:22,120
Speaker 1: maintenance person giving her a budget. Lady, it's Saturday, after

1363
01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:24,640
Speaker 1: the fourth of July. No lawn crew is coming to

1364
01:07:24,680 --> 01:07:28,000
Speaker 1: give out a budget. Let alone hanging around our house

1365
01:07:28,120 --> 01:07:31,640
Speaker 1: for four hours. I texted her back to lock the doors,

1366
01:07:31,880 --> 01:07:35,160
Speaker 1: just to see if she would finally be honest radio silence.

1367
01:07:35,240 --> 01:07:37,800
Speaker 1: I texted her a few more times and nothing. I

1368
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:40,520
Speaker 1: said I would call for a well affair check since

1369
01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:43,320
Speaker 1: there's a strange car parked outside our house and a

1370
01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:47,000
Speaker 1: stranger walking around and still nothing. My brother convinced me

1371
01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:49,400
Speaker 1: not to call, as it could lead to complications in

1372
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:52,120
Speaker 1: the divorce. She texted me back a few hours later

1373
01:07:52,240 --> 01:07:54,840
Speaker 1: after I saw this guy leaving and said sorry, I

1374
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:58,000
Speaker 1: fell asleep. When I confronted her about it, she said

1375
01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:00,400
Speaker 1: she just didn't want to hurt me, but treating me

1376
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:03,080
Speaker 1: like I'm dumb is even more of an insult. I

1377
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:06,120
Speaker 1: honestly gave up on caring, but I just wish she

1378
01:08:06,160 --> 01:08:09,000
Speaker 1: had followed the two rules we had established. If I

1379
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:11,280
Speaker 1: can't trust her not to bring men into our shared

1380
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:14,680
Speaker 1: home where our kids live within one week of her

1381
01:08:14,720 --> 01:08:17,040
Speaker 1: making that promise, how can I trust her to take

1382
01:08:17,040 --> 01:08:20,240
Speaker 1: the kids out without expecting they'll be tagging along on

1383
01:08:20,280 --> 01:08:22,920
Speaker 1: her dates. I don't know these men, I don't know

1384
01:08:22,960 --> 01:08:25,360
Speaker 1: where she's meeting them. For the safety of my kids,

1385
01:08:25,479 --> 01:08:27,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to bring them back home, but I

1386
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:29,880
Speaker 1: know if I don't, she'll try to charge me with

1387
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:33,479
Speaker 1: parental kidnapping. I emailed my lawyer and he responded with

1388
01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:36,559
Speaker 1: call me tomorrow morning. Probably going to pay out the

1389
01:08:36,640 --> 01:08:39,280
Speaker 1: no's for a quick call on a holiday weekend, but

1390
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:41,599
Speaker 1: if he can tell me what I can and can't

1391
01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:43,920
Speaker 1: do to keep my kids safe, it will be worth

1392
01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:46,759
Speaker 1: it to me. Yes, it hurts that she's already sleeping

1393
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,559
Speaker 1: with multiple men, but if it's going to happen, keep

1394
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:51,759
Speaker 1: it out of our house and away from our kids.

1395
01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:55,320
Speaker 1: I thought I was being pretty accommodating since we're getting divorced,

1396
01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:57,639
Speaker 1: why does she have to sleep with them in our house.

1397
01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:01,000
Speaker 1: Funny thing is she thinks unplugging the ring allowed her

1398
01:09:01,040 --> 01:09:03,200
Speaker 1: to do whatever she wanted. We have an ad T

1399
01:09:03,360 --> 01:09:07,920
Speaker 1: security system as well that also takes periodic snapshots of

1400
01:09:07,960 --> 01:09:10,960
Speaker 1: the playroom that I know she forgot about. So I'll

1401
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,439
Speaker 1: also be sending that over to my lawyer just in

1402
01:09:13,479 --> 01:09:14,599
Speaker 1: case it does any good.

1403
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:18,000
Speaker 2: The end, if she brought this guy into the house

1404
01:09:18,120 --> 01:09:20,719
Speaker 2: and then brought him into like the space your kids

1405
01:09:20,800 --> 01:09:24,120
Speaker 2: are in, and that's just like like messed up,