1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:03,760 Speaker 1: Help Jews in poverty and help jews Now dot org. 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: Your twenty five dollar gift today will help provide a 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 1: life saving food box to Jews and need. Be a 4 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: blessing right now. Visit helped Jews now dot org. That's 5 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 1: helped Jews now dot org. Look for your children's eyes 6 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: and you will discover the true magic of a forest. 7 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: Find a forest near you and start exploring it. Discover 8 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 1: the Forest dot Org wrought to you by the United 9 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 1: States Forest Service and the AD Council Once the last 10 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:38,600 Speaker 1: time you took a time out. I'm Evrodsky, author of 11 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,159 Speaker 1: the New York Times bestseller fair Play and Find Your 12 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: Unicorn Space, activists on the gender division of labor, attorney 13 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 1: and family mediator. And I'm doctor Addina Rukhar, a Harvard 14 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,040 Speaker 1: physician and medical correspondent with an expertise and the science 15 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: of stress, resilience, mental health, and burnout. We're so excited 16 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: to share our podcast Time Out, a production of I 17 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: Heart Podcast and Hello Sunshine, repealing back the layers around 18 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,760 Speaker 1: why society makes it so easy to guard men's time 19 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 1: like it's diamonds and treat women's time like it's infinite, 20 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,120 Speaker 1: like sand and So whether you're partnered with or without children, 21 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,679 Speaker 1: or in a career where you want more boundaries, this 22 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: is a place for you, for people of all family structures. 23 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 1: So take this time out with us to learn, get inspired, 24 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 1: and most importantly, reclaim your time. Listen to Time Out 25 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: a fair Play podcast on the I Heart Radio app, 26 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to 27 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 1: Money Making Conversations. It's to show that she has the 28 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: secrets of success experience firsthand bym marketing a Brandon expert 29 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: Rashaan McDonald. I will know he's given me advice to 30 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: many occasions in ocasion didn't notice I'm not broke. You 31 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: know he'll be interview with celebrity CEO, entrepreneurs and industry 32 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 1: decision make because it's what he likes to do, It's 33 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: what he likes to ship. Now it's time to hear 34 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 1: from my man, Shan McDonald money making Conversations. Here we come. 35 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Money Making Conversations. I am your host from 36 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: Sean McDonald. I always tell people it's time to start 37 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,000 Speaker 1: reading other people's success stories and start writing your own. 38 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: And I always tell people to leave with your gifts 39 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: and don't let your age, friends, family, or coworkers stop 40 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: you from planning or living your dreams. My interviews I 41 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: have on money making conversations with celebrities, CEOs, entrepreneurs and 42 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: industry decision makers. Not today will include love mash makers. 43 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 1: My next gust is Spicy Marty. She is a magnetic 44 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: matchmaker and relationship expert who's focused on encouraging individuals and 45 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 1: couples to unlock the power of their passion in order 46 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: to attract their purpose mate. She is the founder of 47 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 1: the Spicy Life and we'll discuss Spicy Marty's career journey 48 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 1: and the Spicy That's sp i c Y fundamentals. Please 49 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: welcome to Money Making Conversations. Spicy Marty. How you doing, 50 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: I'm doing thing? Thank you for having me. Well great, 51 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: great for coming on the show. You know about relationships 52 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 1: and we come out of COVID. You know, I remember 53 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: doing COVID. I was like, boy, I'm so glad I'm 54 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:14,080 Speaker 1: not in the game. Boy. You know you couldn't you know? 55 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: You know if you kiss somebody, you're gonna get COVID. 56 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 1: Relationships are like COVID. You know, you know, the online 57 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: and apps was just exploding these relationships swapping right, left, 58 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: swipe covid left, wipe covid right. It was just, uh, 59 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 1: it was just really crazy. And now you you said 60 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 1: during that period your business flourished. Yeah, you know, I 61 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: almost there's a little bit of um guilt when I 62 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 1: say like this, This was amazing for me, right because 63 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: there was so many charnship going on, um from a 64 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 1: financial level to a romantic level for you know, the 65 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: entire world. But being in an industry that focuses on 66 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: helping you find love and your purpose made actually it 67 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:03,360 Speaker 1: was opening awakening experience for a lot of folks. I think, 68 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: UM deciding like, hey, this is time for me to 69 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: get serious. Who knows, if I'm going to spend another 70 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: year in quarantine isolated, I really shouldn't, you know, take 71 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: my companionship and relationship growth serious. So, because our fundamental 72 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 1: elements are based off of self passion, intimacy, communication, and 73 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 1: learning to say yes, a lot of people decided that 74 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: they were going to invest in themselves, uh and make 75 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: sure that they don't spend one alone. And so business 76 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,679 Speaker 1: has been amazing. What we're gonna talk about your business 77 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: and the model in the minute, which is love. Well, 78 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:41,600 Speaker 1: I want to go back to you know, we don't 79 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,679 Speaker 1: always start there. You know, it was at I Heart Media, 80 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 1: which I'm very familiar with because Steve Harvey and I 81 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 1: did our syndication contract with I Hard and two thousand 82 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,279 Speaker 1: five and he's still with our herd medium for in fact, 83 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: my podcast Money Making Conversation is on the I Heart 84 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: Media platform. And then you did work with HBO and 85 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 1: uh talk about of that stought in that area. And 86 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: then we're gonna go back to college. We're gonna kind 87 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 1: of like go there and then go back to college. 88 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,720 Speaker 1: Then we're gonna come back. Understand, Hi, you into this 89 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:14,719 Speaker 1: love making spicy zone. So my career journey has definitely 90 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: been diverse, right, but everything that I've done has led 91 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:20,800 Speaker 1: me to this point. So I realized at an early 92 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 1: age then my purpose of my calling was to connect people, 93 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 1: and understanding that that was a part of my spiritual gifts, 94 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: made sure that I went to you know, undergrad and 95 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 1: got my master's in communication since that's the number one 96 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 1: breakdown in relationships. But all the while gaining experience as 97 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: a relationship expert um on media platforms from radio to 98 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 1: television and so starting off at actually kJ L H 99 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: early on UM with Steve Harvey. UM, I'm sorry, Steve 100 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 1: Harvey actually was a kid. But with um CD wonder 101 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 1: and then going from kJ l H to ninety two 102 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: point three after having bill like credibility in the radio industry. 103 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: UM definitely helped me with my on air experience and 104 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: doing a relationship radio show where it gave spicy tips 105 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: and so all the meanwhile juggling media, plus doing a 106 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 1: sales executive position at HBO and making sure that like 107 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,159 Speaker 1: I also knew how to pitch myself and market and brand, 108 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: so I was able to understand operations of business. At 109 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,039 Speaker 1: the same time, we're understanding how to be like in 110 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 1: front of the camera. Well, you know, articulation is the key. 111 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: You know what what you can't do. You can't start 112 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,600 Speaker 1: a trying to tell people about love. You know what 113 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 1: I'm saying. You can do you know what I'm saying, Spicy, 114 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: you can't mess around look like you confused. You know 115 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, so so so. And also let's go 116 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: be real. You have to look attractive or attractive people. 117 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 1: You don't want all the ugly person telling you how 118 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: to find love. You know, so you are attractive, and 119 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:50,720 Speaker 1: then you have the word spicy. Thank you? Just this 120 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,719 Speaker 1: money make camp say you something? You know what you know, 121 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,480 Speaker 1: if I saw you pict yourself, she's relationship. I don't 122 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: think she's that busy. What I'm saying, it's gonna be busy, 123 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 1: but you're not, so fortunately for this interview. But then 124 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,720 Speaker 1: you then, also you have the word spicy and you're attractive. 125 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: Did that ever bother you that, Hey, you know, people 126 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 1: might get the wrong idea about your brand, that you 127 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: might get the wrong idea about you because you are 128 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 1: serious professional. Okay, that's a great question. So I love 129 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 1: the fact that, um, spicy has become this word that 130 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: we're like, oh, what does that mean? You know, there's 131 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 1: this passion, um and desire that's associated with the word spicy, right, 132 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 1: And so I love being able to have an opportunity 133 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 1: to describe, even with questions like this, what spicy actually 134 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 1: stands for. So I've always embraced it. Um. I coined 135 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,400 Speaker 1: the name actually in radio because I've always you know, 136 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: pushed my business and my company and my expertise the 137 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: spicy life. So when I coined the name spicy Matty, 138 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: it was because you know, I'm the CEO of this company. 139 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 1: But I'm always giving spicy tips. So when people ask me, like, 140 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 1: you know, what does that mean? Like why do they 141 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: call you spicy? You know, they always think it's because 142 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 1: I'm this, you know, fiery, you know spicy, um, you 143 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: know black in Mexican, Latina and so ula. I get 144 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: the opportunity to explain to them, no, I'm mixed. I 145 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,480 Speaker 1: get an opportunity to explain to them, UM, that spically 146 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 1: actually stands for you know, self, passion, intimacy, communication and 147 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: learning to say yes. And then I coined it in 148 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 1: my company, so I embrace it and it's it's a 149 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: catchy name that people get to remember, you know. There 150 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 1: they sometimes forget Marty, but they never forget spicy. You know, 151 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 1: you have the corporate experience, now you're taking it to 152 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,559 Speaker 1: a personal level. How were you able to avoid pushback 153 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: when you started defining your voice? And I know you 154 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 1: have history now, but in the beginning you have to 155 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: develop that history. Talk about the in the beginning and 156 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: then the journey to where we are at being interviewed 157 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 1: with a resume of a legitimacy tied to your brand. Yeah, 158 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 1: I think when it comes to branding, um and credibility, right, 159 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: people fall in love with the person right before they 160 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 1: fall in love with the brand. They want to know 161 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 1: who's behind that. So when I explained my story of 162 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 1: making sure that you know, I elaborate on the fact 163 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:06,320 Speaker 1: that I've been doing this since I was a child, 164 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 1: really connecting people. My mother was married three times single parents. 165 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 1: Each time that she was married, I was set her up. 166 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 1: I was going up to men in the grocery store 167 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:20,320 Speaker 1: at the gas station pitching my mother to them because 168 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,439 Speaker 1: I wanted a dad so bad, and so I felt 169 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: really good at marketing at a very young age. You 170 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: know my husband, you know number four now, So like 171 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,719 Speaker 1: it's safe to say I'm really good at what I do, 172 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: but understanding that you need the education and the credibility 173 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 1: behind that, right. I went to school mastered in communication 174 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,560 Speaker 1: and really developed my method there. So all of the 175 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: information that I have is based on true research, try 176 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: tested and proven. So when anyone comes from me in 177 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 1: their life, you know what, what makes you an expert? 178 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 1: You just get to go around saying you're expert. I'm like, yes, actually, 179 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: I have even more than ten years of experience. I've 180 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: been doing this my entire life, setting up over multiple 181 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 1: couples where they've actually walked down the you had children 182 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:04,959 Speaker 1: based off of my you know connection, and then have 183 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 1: relationships right now that are flourishing, that are getting you know, 184 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 1: getting to the point of the proposal and coaching my 185 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 1: clients and seeing them all the way through. So I 186 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 1: love when people question, you know, what makes you an 187 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,840 Speaker 1: expert or what makes you a gur guru because it 188 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 1: gives the opportunity to really explain all of the investment 189 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,199 Speaker 1: and time that I put into this. And when people 190 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 1: hear your story from a branding perspective, like they want 191 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 1: to not just believe you, but they want a relationship 192 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:35,320 Speaker 1: with you. And being in a relationship industry, I understand 193 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,200 Speaker 1: that you need self awareness. You need to bring that 194 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 1: passion and fire. You need to have intimacy to create 195 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:44,079 Speaker 1: a bond with your you know audience, and you need 196 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: to have amazing communication and deciding how you deliver that message. 197 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,320 Speaker 1: And then you also need to be willing to say 198 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 1: yes to the risk, yes to the unknown, understanding you 199 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 1: know that not everybody's gonna believe you, but that's okay. 200 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: If you believe you, you're gonna push that message anyways. 201 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: So s P I C why applies to everything absolutely, 202 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: and so now you're the founder of the Spicy life. 203 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: Okay again, carrying a brand spicy learning from a standpoint. 204 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: Using the world that's very popularly used for a lot 205 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,679 Speaker 1: of different describes a lot of different things, but in 206 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 1: this case it describes romance. You're trying to trying to 207 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,000 Speaker 1: find that purpose, mate, Now what is the purpose? Mate? 208 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,680 Speaker 1: So I love the purpose made term right because it 209 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 1: makes you wonder. It's not something that we hear often. 210 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:30,040 Speaker 1: Most people think of soul mate. They've gotten familiar with 211 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 1: that word, and that is when you have deep affection 212 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 1: and romantic feelings for somewhat amazing chemistry and I speak 213 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 1: to purpose mate. What I'm talking about is having chemistry 214 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,840 Speaker 1: and compatibility. So you need both of those elements. You 215 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 1: can't just have the fire and desire. You also have 216 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 1: to have the compat compatibility element. And then in addition 217 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 1: to that, you have to be someone who understands and 218 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 1: knows your purpose in life and then wants to be 219 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 1: with someone who understands their purpose. And then you guys 220 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: merge two purposes together to help one another form or 221 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 1: build your empire the mission that you were put on 222 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 1: here to do you're very clear on that, and you 223 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 1: understand your role in that person's life, and you're there 224 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: to support them, uplift them, use their talents and gifts 225 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 1: on another level, and help lift them up. So your 226 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: purpose mate is way bigger than just like, oh, you 227 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 1: know he's fine, I love him. No, your purpose mate 228 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,320 Speaker 1: is like, how do I get you to where God 229 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 1: intended for you to be? 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Hi everyone, i'l roker here as a guy 247 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:32,319 Speaker 1: with his own catchphrase. I appreciate that Smokey's only said 248 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:36,200 Speaker 1: only you can prevent wildfires, But I'm filling in because 249 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,080 Speaker 1: there's a lot more to report, like when they're parched 250 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 1: or windy conditions out there. You've gotta be extra careful 251 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: with things like burning yard waist. After all, wildfires can 252 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 1: start anywhere, even in your neck of the woods. Go 253 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 1: to Smokey Bear dot com to learn more about wildfire prevention. 254 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,960 Speaker 1: Brought to you by the U. S. Forest Service, your 255 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 1: state Forester, and the ad Council. What grows in the 256 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:02,480 Speaker 1: forest trees, sure you know what else? Girls in the forest? 257 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 1: Our imagination, our sense of wonder, and our family bonds 258 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 1: grow too, because when we disconnect from this and connect 259 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 1: with this, we reconnect with each other. The forest is 260 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,920 Speaker 1: closer than you think. Find a forest near you and 261 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 1: start exploring. I discover the forest dot org, brought to 262 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: you by the United States Forest Service and the AD Council. 263 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,640 Speaker 1: I love who are you fine? Which is very true. 264 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 1: Now this is why I like what you just said. 265 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,560 Speaker 1: First of all, soul mate really has not been working 266 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 1: in the marriage world because of the marriage is and 267 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 1: in divorce. Now, when you ask somebody what your soul mate, 268 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,080 Speaker 1: they really can't explain to you what that is. What 269 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: does zacts a soul mate? Now, when you we purpose made, 270 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 1: you actually had a point of view. They had credibility. 271 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 1: I understood it, and I brought value so up to 272 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 1: me this whole purpose made. If you find a purpose made, 273 00:14:56,680 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 1: the percentages of successful marriages may go up because soul 274 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,520 Speaker 1: mate is not working. I'm just sorry it's not working 275 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: and falling. It's failed because you can nobody explain what 276 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 1: a soul mate is. I can't tell you. I've never 277 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 1: used the word soul mate, but purpose made I could 278 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: use because it has You know, It's like anything you're 279 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: do in life, like a good job, you have to 280 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 1: know it's a contract. If you pretending to forget that, 281 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,960 Speaker 1: marriage is a contract, you know, and you have the 282 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,960 Speaker 1: right to break it. If it's not working for you 283 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: now in this situation, your purpose made that is turned 284 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 1: to that person's purpose, that person's purpose or what they 285 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 1: want to do with their lives, and that never comes 286 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: up and being a soul mate. I really like that 287 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: concept that you really have honed on to because it 288 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,240 Speaker 1: makes it made me think, It made me get a 289 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 1: clear understanding of Okay, when I look at somebody, I 290 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,360 Speaker 1: always tell people like you know when you when you 291 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: can marry for money, you can marry from somebody who's educated. 292 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,000 Speaker 1: You can marry with somebody because they But if you're 293 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,400 Speaker 1: married for fineness, you're married because he or he made 294 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 1: me laugh. I'm gonna tell you right now that's gonna 295 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: be a short relationship in my can lead the marriage 296 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,320 Speaker 1: and the sex gonna get old. He and when the 297 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 1: sex get old, you won't be laughing as much. But 298 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 1: if you're married based on a plan, and that's what 299 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 1: purpose made is, it's a plan. Correct talk to me. 300 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 1: I think I'm into this spicy like you having said 301 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 1: might need to hire you know, I'm just saying, but 302 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 1: you you're leading me down the right path because like 303 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 1: I said, I did the book act like a lady 304 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,920 Speaker 1: to think like a man with Steve Harder. The reason 305 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: that book was so successful, one of the things was 306 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:33,240 Speaker 1: the naty day the naty day uh period that that 307 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 1: you had in there, because it was like, if a 308 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,960 Speaker 1: job could put your probation for ninety days, why can't 309 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: you put your relationship on probation for ninety days? And 310 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 1: so this is the same thing. It was tied to 311 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 1: making the decision not so much on emotion, but is 312 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 1: this the right person for you? And when I hear 313 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,960 Speaker 1: the word soul mate, and we've all heard that and 314 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,160 Speaker 1: we all used I've used that in some form. I 315 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 1: don't know what that means, but I knew what naty 316 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,960 Speaker 1: day probation meant does a job and in the relationship 317 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 1: also know what purpose made me. Once you explain to me, 318 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 1: and once you explained to any of your clients, I'm 319 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 1: sure they go, wow, I never thought like that. Mm hmmm. 320 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,160 Speaker 1: You're absolutely hidden on the money. And the thing is 321 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:16,399 Speaker 1: is one thing that I do love about act like 322 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:17,879 Speaker 1: the lady, things like a man, you know. And I 323 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:21,359 Speaker 1: give you crazy insane props um for everything that you 324 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 1: did for publishing that book and getting it out there. 325 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:29,480 Speaker 1: Um is that it speaks to um strategy, which I 326 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 1: speak to as well. Right, what you're saying right now 327 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,679 Speaker 1: is that we have to operate less in emotion and 328 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,200 Speaker 1: how someone makes us feel and more in logic, which 329 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,639 Speaker 1: is totally what I'm in support of. I once you 330 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 1: to have books, and once you have the chemistry and compatibility, 331 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 1: but what does that look like? How do we create 332 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 1: a strategic action plan for what your relationship goal is? 333 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,160 Speaker 1: And that's what I get to the root of because 334 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,159 Speaker 1: a lot of people are just out here floating around 335 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,560 Speaker 1: trying to figure it out. And one thing that I 336 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 1: do support in act like the Lady thinks like a 337 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,880 Speaker 1: man as well, is that ninety day rule. Now, can 338 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 1: most people follow it when they come into my program? 339 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: That's a whole. That's a whole, another whole, another topic. Right, 340 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 1: They require a lot of strength when it comes to 341 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 1: being abstinent for those ninety days. But I fully support that, 342 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:17,400 Speaker 1: actually implement that in my Spicy program because I need 343 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,400 Speaker 1: people to have clarity of thoughts. I don't want them 344 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,399 Speaker 1: emotionally attached to someone who hasn't earned all of the 345 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 1: things that need to show up when it comes to 346 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:28,480 Speaker 1: their core values, their deal breakers, consistency and when we 347 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,119 Speaker 1: speak to your purpose mate, your purpose mate has to 348 00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:34,440 Speaker 1: show the compatibility element before we give our bodies to them. 349 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 1: And what I mean by compatibility is I'm talking amazing 350 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:41,040 Speaker 1: communication that's an alignment with your definition of communication. I'm 351 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 1: talking shared activities and interests, and I'm talking about being 352 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 1: at the same place and your guys time and intention 353 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,920 Speaker 1: of what you guys want from the relationship. Right, can 354 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,119 Speaker 1: I merge my life with this person? And are we 355 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,479 Speaker 1: at the same place in our lives in knowing what 356 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,240 Speaker 1: our purpose is and what's the game plans of fulfilling that. 357 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,439 Speaker 1: So I'm huge on stratgy gum and it's something that 358 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 1: I've created my whole method around. When it comes to 359 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,680 Speaker 1: manifesting what you truly want, I'm not just about words 360 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 1: and emotions. I'm about I'm about yes, manifestation, but we 361 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,399 Speaker 1: do that through behavioral changes and actions. What does this 362 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 1: game plan look like? Well? It really interesting. So when 363 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:19,120 Speaker 1: one because you know a lot of the big companies 364 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,159 Speaker 1: out there making money off matchmaking, and then you just 365 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: you know, you just icy body. Okay, So how do 366 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: you compete with the big ballers out there? They got 367 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,560 Speaker 1: the million dollar commercial brands. You know, they on social media, 368 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:36,480 Speaker 1: they do geofencing on couples, you know, and it's credibility. 369 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,240 Speaker 1: How how did you manage to, you know, start defining 370 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,640 Speaker 1: your lane and being on major talk shows and being 371 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,639 Speaker 1: an advice person? How did that happen? I think a 372 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,439 Speaker 1: part of my success has been driven not just from 373 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,960 Speaker 1: the branding component of understanding what my brand is, but also, 374 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,479 Speaker 1: and I'll tell this to my datas to what's your 375 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: product differentiator? Right? What makes you different or sets you 376 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,919 Speaker 1: apart from what else is on the market. And so 377 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,720 Speaker 1: when we speak in business terms, there's tons of other 378 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: matchmaking companies, there's tons of competitors completely understand that. But 379 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: what they're not doing is giving you the personal relationship 380 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,639 Speaker 1: coaching that comes with the matchmaking. I can introduce you 381 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,120 Speaker 1: to a hundred people, but if I don't know how 382 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:20,840 Speaker 1: to raise your vibration, if I don't know your strengths, 383 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,439 Speaker 1: your weaknesses, opportunities and threats, um which is what I 384 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,359 Speaker 1: do for my clients a squat analysis, right, Really understanding 385 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: their character, what their beliefs are, you know, what's there, 386 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 1: what's holding them back, what's their limiting beliefs? Really understanding 387 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,359 Speaker 1: who they are as a person and developing that personal tension. 388 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 1: How am I going to set you up with your 389 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,440 Speaker 1: purpose mate when we haven't even gotten to the root 390 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 1: of you know, who you are, some of your childhood traumas. 391 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 1: So there's a lot of coaching that comes with my program. 392 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 1: In addition to the weekly coaching, you also get an 393 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:53,719 Speaker 1: image consultant, I redo your look. You also get a 394 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,359 Speaker 1: professional astrologists as someone who's telling me what are the 395 00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 1: best zodiac signs are for you. I also have a 396 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,239 Speaker 1: marriage and damn family therapy us on staff, and then 397 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,800 Speaker 1: I also redo your online dating profile. So everything that 398 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,239 Speaker 1: we're doing is transformational. And we even have of a 399 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: fitness coach should we need to like help you from 400 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:14,680 Speaker 1: a health standpoint. So it's full, full encompassing and very 401 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: hands on, whereas other matchmaking companies are just setting you 402 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 1: up and they're like good luck, now pay my tin k, 403 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: pay my twenty k, and they're not really working on 404 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,040 Speaker 1: who you are as a person and getting to the 405 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,639 Speaker 1: root of relationship development. And I think that's what you know, 406 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,639 Speaker 1: My main emphasis is is that interpersonal development and how 407 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,880 Speaker 1: do I help you become the best version of yourself 408 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:41,000 Speaker 1: so that you can reach relationship actualization. Uh, hopefully you've 409 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:45,760 Speaker 1: trade bark purpose made have you You're just giving, You're giving, 410 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 1: You're giving me a bar right there. We're working on 411 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,120 Speaker 1: it right now. Five things that have to trade market 412 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 1: addition to to the spicy life which already have and 413 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,439 Speaker 1: spicy body. But I have like five things in the 414 00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 1: in the queue right now. So just looking at you 415 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,359 Speaker 1: because you know you got it. You know, and I 416 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: like a talent all the time. Get my book. I 417 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:10,479 Speaker 1: need your help problems. I've developed money making conversation as 418 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:11,960 Speaker 1: a voice. You know, a lot of people wanted me 419 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,480 Speaker 1: to mentor them and also give them advice where I 420 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,520 Speaker 1: can do that in interviews and also if you listen 421 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: to the interviews that I do with talented people like you, 422 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:23,399 Speaker 1: maybe you can take those little moments of enthusiasm or 423 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:28,200 Speaker 1: information because it's tied to both, because successful people are 424 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,919 Speaker 1: driven by their hard work also by their excitement. You like, 425 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 1: you're excited about what you do. I don't know anybody 426 00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:37,440 Speaker 1: who who makes a lot of money and unhappy. They're 427 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,200 Speaker 1: gonna change the game. You know. I'm not unhappy or 428 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,399 Speaker 1: anything I do. I wake up happy. That gets me 429 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,160 Speaker 1: out of bed, That gets me out the front door. 430 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 1: And it also causes me to return home so I 431 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,440 Speaker 1: can rest up and do it again the next day. Now, Spicy, 432 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,040 Speaker 1: you know it said yes. It's important in the learning 433 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,879 Speaker 1: of say yes now in relationships. You've always heard the 434 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 1: word now to say no now, and you is learn 435 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 1: didn't have to say yes because that's the last of 436 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,000 Speaker 1: the terms with spices S P I c Y. Why 437 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:10,920 Speaker 1: stands for yes, So talk about that. So the reason 438 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,679 Speaker 1: why yes it's so important is um exactly for what 439 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:17,160 Speaker 1: you said, right society and what's going on culturally right 440 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 1: now is that the you know, rate of marriage for 441 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,960 Speaker 1: millennial age groups is slowing down as far as like 442 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,400 Speaker 1: the time that we're choosing to get married in our lives. Right, 443 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,960 Speaker 1: So there's all of this UM fear based around why 444 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,160 Speaker 1: we need to wait, why we need to be making 445 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 1: slower decisions, because you know, we saw what our parents 446 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 1: did and our parents parents, and because the divorce rate 447 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,960 Speaker 1: is so high, we're now dating from a place of fear. 448 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,120 Speaker 1: And so when you date from a place of fear, 449 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,159 Speaker 1: that's a scarcity mindset. You're going to be limited in 450 00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:51,600 Speaker 1: what you believe your options are. You're gonna be limited 451 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 1: and what you believe that you can attract. So when 452 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,959 Speaker 1: I hear limiting beliefs, I have to help you with 453 00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 1: raising your vibration and having not a scarce the mindset, 454 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: but an abundance mindset. And when we have an abundance mindset, 455 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,520 Speaker 1: it means that we don't have to be afraid of 456 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 1: the unknown. It means that we can take risks and 457 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,400 Speaker 1: step into them with strategy, right, because I believe in risk, 458 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,639 Speaker 1: but I believe in calculated risks. So when you're dating, 459 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 1: you're going through the process, or even when you're in 460 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 1: partnership really evaluating. You know the choices that you're making, researching, 461 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 1: you know why you want this relationship and what's that 462 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:27,000 Speaker 1: looks like, but also what's holding you back, what's stopping 463 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,880 Speaker 1: you from being in a healthy, loving relationship. And when 464 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 1: it comes to partnership, really understanding that, yes, you want 465 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:38,160 Speaker 1: those bubble going, warm butterfly feelings, but you really want 466 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 1: the person who's going to submit. And when I say submit, 467 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 1: I'm talking about the person who says yes to what's 468 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,000 Speaker 1: healthiest for the relationship. I'm not talking about, you know, 469 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,919 Speaker 1: bending down on one knee or um doing whatever your 470 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,760 Speaker 1: partner says When I talk about submission, I'm saying about 471 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 1: what am I willing to sacrifice in this relationship to 472 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 1: have what I want? Because you're not going to get 473 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,399 Speaker 1: percent of the person, right, I definitely believe in So 474 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,119 Speaker 1: what are you willing to sacrifice about you? Your personality 475 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 1: that's not serving you, that's holding you back? And then 476 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,720 Speaker 1: what are you willing to sacrifice from a behavioral standpoint 477 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 1: and making sure that your partner's love language is fed? 478 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,720 Speaker 1: And oftentimes we want to you know, I want to 479 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: put these boundaries up. I want to put these walls up. 480 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 1: And we're so guarded because we're afraid to love. So 481 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:24,400 Speaker 1: my whole emphasis around yes is like, Okay, let's pushack 482 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,120 Speaker 1: past these boundaries. And if we believe that we can 483 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,439 Speaker 1: actually have what we want, what are we afraid of? 484 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 1: We just have to step into our future self and 485 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:38,320 Speaker 1: go get it. Wow. Communication heavy, it's heavy, right, communication, 486 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 1: communicate because you girl, I can talk back. Look at 487 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,440 Speaker 1: your children's eyes to see the true magic of a forest. 488 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,960 Speaker 1: It's a storybook world for them. You look and see 489 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,960 Speaker 1: a tree, they see the wrinkled face of a wizard 490 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 1: with arms outstretched to the sky. They see treasure and pebbles. 491 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,159 Speaker 1: They see a windy path that could lead to adventure, 492 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 1: and they see you. They're fearless. Guide. Is this fascinating world? 493 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,159 Speaker 1: Find a forest near you and start exploring and discover 494 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 1: the forest dot org brought to you by the United 495 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: States Forest Service and the ad Council. What grows in 496 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 1: the forest trees? Sure know what else grows in the forest. 497 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:20,400 Speaker 1: Our imagination, our sense of wonder, and our family bonds 498 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:25,960 Speaker 1: grow too, because when we disconnect from this and connect 499 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 1: with this, we reconnect with each other. The forest is 500 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,679 Speaker 1: closer than you think. Find a forest near you and 501 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: start exploring. I Discover the Forest dot org. Brought to 502 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,160 Speaker 1: you by the United States Forest Service and the ad Council. 503 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:44,080 Speaker 1: Adoption of teams from foster care is a topic not 504 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,400 Speaker 1: enough people know about, and we're here to change that. 505 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:50,080 Speaker 1: I'm April Denuity, host of the new podcast Navigating Adoption, 506 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 1: presented by adopt Us Kids. Each episode brings you compelling, 507 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,959 Speaker 1: real life adoption stories told by the families that lived them, 508 00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:00,800 Speaker 1: with commentary from experts. Visit adopt us Hits dot org, 509 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,639 Speaker 1: slash podcast, or subscribed to Navigating Adoption presented by adopt 510 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,920 Speaker 1: Us Kids, brought to you by the U. S. Department 511 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,720 Speaker 1: of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families 512 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:13,000 Speaker 1: and the Council. Now, I know, I gotta, I at 513 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,280 Speaker 1: least got to bring this up. You know, Vice President 514 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 1: Kamala Harris was named was what they elected. And so 515 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:27,120 Speaker 1: is she getting ready you know, and she's she's uh, 516 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 1: she's a member of sority. I think, I think remember 517 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,880 Speaker 1: sority that you are a member of. So just talk 518 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,520 Speaker 1: about the pride of being the sisterhood of A K 519 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 1: S and being her being a member of the A 520 00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 1: k R A k A sorority. Absolutely, I think that 521 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,800 Speaker 1: it's very well known that, right we pride ourselves on, 522 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,359 Speaker 1: you know, high morals and ethical standards, and so being 523 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:55,119 Speaker 1: able to see you know, us represented now, um, not 524 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 1: just in the White House, also making history and also 525 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,119 Speaker 1: being you know connected to my sorority of Alpha Capa Alpha. 526 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:06,520 Speaker 1: I have so much pride in the fact that, like, 527 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,520 Speaker 1: we did it right. And when I say we did 528 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:13,000 Speaker 1: it as as a community um as you know, Greek 529 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 1: organizations all around. She represents all of us. I don't 530 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,439 Speaker 1: want to, you know, just exclude she just happens to 531 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,080 Speaker 1: be you know an A K A the first and finest, 532 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,280 Speaker 1: but I take I take pride on behalf of all 533 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,440 Speaker 1: of my brothers and sisters when you know, we see 534 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,320 Speaker 1: her up there, you know, on the podium or next 535 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,879 Speaker 1: to the president, knowing understanding the responsibility that she has, 536 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,320 Speaker 1: and knowing because her core values and what she stands 537 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: for and what she believes in, that she's going to 538 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,160 Speaker 1: make sure that she takes care of us and represents us, um, 539 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,720 Speaker 1: you know, to the best of her ability. So there's 540 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,959 Speaker 1: you know, there was that moment when I cried um 541 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:52,600 Speaker 1: and she got elected. But definitely, you know, was was 542 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 1: huge and excited when I even first heard that she 543 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,960 Speaker 1: was on the ballot, and then to see her make 544 00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,520 Speaker 1: history on multiple things, on multiple levels, even you know, 545 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,400 Speaker 1: me being biracial, seeing a biracial woman up there, Like 546 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,360 Speaker 1: there's so many things that I connect with her on 547 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:11,600 Speaker 1: that you're gonna get the emotional right now. But but 548 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 1: just the joy in my heart, right my spirit was 549 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,080 Speaker 1: uplifted and super excited for my future offspring to be 550 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,640 Speaker 1: able to see her in there, you know, and and 551 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,640 Speaker 1: what she represents. It means a lot to me and 552 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,280 Speaker 1: to my community. Well you know, you and the money 553 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:28,239 Speaker 1: making money making conversation is business money and that is 554 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 1: but also, you know, a weekly uh old clubhouse you 555 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:35,440 Speaker 1: do as you know, so I don't really you know 556 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,760 Speaker 1: you you know you're willing to have people for free 557 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,320 Speaker 1: to talk about that and we're wrapping up. Yeah, so 558 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,960 Speaker 1: I love UM. I love clubhouse because it gives me 559 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 1: an opportunity to give relationship advice weekly on Sundays, I 560 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 1: usually hold a forum where I'm giving relationship coaching and 561 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 1: giving spicy tips out there. It's not as full hands 562 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,520 Speaker 1: on as of course my program or my E course 563 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,600 Speaker 1: that I just rolled out with is UM six weeks 564 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 1: that I'm doing giving the spicy relationship coaching and helping 565 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 1: people attract their purpose mate, but it does provide an 566 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,840 Speaker 1: opportunity for these people to get a taste to fill 567 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,400 Speaker 1: up their cup, kind of like Sunday Church. When I 568 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 1: do my clubhouse events, it gives people an opportunity to 569 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,200 Speaker 1: ask me questions and just get some clarity around what 570 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,240 Speaker 1: they may be experiencing. And then I also provide if 571 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,000 Speaker 1: they need to feel their love cup up even more 572 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,600 Speaker 1: so that they have an abundant supporting to others. Also 573 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:32,200 Speaker 1: provide my Spicy Life podcast where I'm also having guests 574 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,240 Speaker 1: come on and speaking to relationships on there as well, 575 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 1: but getting to bounce off of other relationship experts, and 576 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,800 Speaker 1: each week I bring in someone different. So I'll do 577 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 1: the same thing with the podcast as I do with 578 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,000 Speaker 1: the Clubhouse, where all sometimes bring different people on that 579 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,840 Speaker 1: I get to interview and give relationship advice out she's 580 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 1: the magnetic matchmaker and relationship experts and spicy body almighty. 581 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 1: Because I'm from Houston. Texts that's how we do it, 582 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,800 Speaker 1: that text Bax, you know. But again, I want to 583 00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,840 Speaker 1: thank you for coming on the show. Also for attending 584 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 1: HBCU spellment. That's always great to acknowledge a k a 585 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:07,719 Speaker 1: qute dog over here, frand don't keep doing my thing too, 586 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:11,320 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But uh, just stop, just stop, 587 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,280 Speaker 1: just stop again. I want to thank you for coming 588 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,920 Speaker 1: on Money Making Covers. You're fantastic again, keeping in your 589 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: in your your books, keeping your thought process. Anytime you 590 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,800 Speaker 1: want to want to promote something, drop your e book, 591 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 1: drop you sip, drop your book. I also drop your 592 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,280 Speaker 1: your your e line, put it. Let me put in 593 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,800 Speaker 1: my money, my my newsletter. Okay, so we can get 594 00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 1: you out there because I also have a platform, HBCU Awards. 595 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,000 Speaker 1: I want to recognize you for being for attending to 596 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,560 Speaker 1: HBCU and also because we also recognized fraternities and sororities 597 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,280 Speaker 1: on my HBC Awards dot com platform. But again, you 598 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 1: are amazing. I'm so glad you took time to talk 599 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,160 Speaker 1: to me about your brand. And again I'm a friend 600 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 1: and uh again, Thank goodness, you look like your photo. 601 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 1: That's all I got to said. Thank could you look 602 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:58,800 Speaker 1: like your photo again? Thank you for coming on Money 603 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,920 Speaker 1: Making Conversation eight so much. If you want to hear 604 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 1: see any about Money Making Conversation interviews, please go to 605 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,240 Speaker 1: Money Making Conversation dot com. I'm ra Sean McDonald. I 606 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:20,600 Speaker 1: am the host. In this season of giving, Coals has 607 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,120 Speaker 1: gifts for all your loved ones. For those who like 608 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:27,240 Speaker 1: to keep it cozy, find fleeces, sweaters, loungeware, blankets and throws, 609 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:31,040 Speaker 1: or support minority owned or founded brands by giving gifts 610 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,640 Speaker 1: from Human Nation and Shame Moisture and in the spirit 611 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,200 Speaker 1: of giving, Coals Cares is donating eight million dollars to 612 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,959 Speaker 1: local nonprofits nationwide. Give with all your heart this season 613 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:45,880 Speaker 1: with great gifts from Coals or Coals dot Com On 614 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 1: April four, Dr Martin Luther King was shot and killed 615 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: in Memphis. A petty criminal named James Earl Ray was arrested. 616 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:58,920 Speaker 1: Case closed right James L. Ray was a pawn for 617 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 1: the officials already some of the evidence, as far as 618 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,680 Speaker 1: I was concerned, did not match the circumstances. This is 619 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 1: the MLK Tapes. The first episodes are available now. Listen 620 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:13,920 Speaker 1: on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever 621 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:18,800 Speaker 1: you get your podcasts. The Black Effect Presents features honest 622 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 1: conversations and exclusive interviews, a space for artists, everyday people, 623 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:27,560 Speaker 1: and listeners to amplify, elevate, and empower Black voices with 624 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 1: great conversations. Make sure to listen to The Black Effect 625 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:34,680 Speaker 1: Presents podcast on I Heart Radio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 626 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:36,640 Speaker 1: you get your podcast