WEBVTT - Mental Health May: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing 0:00:08.720 --> 0:00:12.880 Hello, and welcome to another edition of Nerdificent from Home. 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:15.840 I am one half of your host, Danny Fernandez, and 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:19.880 sitting across from me on the virtual space is if 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:22.520 you want anyway, how's it going, Danny, how are you feeling? 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:26.920 I'm feeling good. I feel you know, it's a long 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:30.880 road of ups and downs, but for mental health may 0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:33.320 we've gotten a lot of great feedback on our episodes. 0:00:33.320 --> 0:00:36.519 I'm glad that they are educating people and opening up 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:41.760 you know, some people's perceptions about therapy and alternative treatments. Yeah. No, 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:43.920 not to cut you off, but I have to. Now 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:47.120 that she's pointed that out, I'm going to read something 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:51.360 from the discord. VI King said that the podcasts that 0:00:51.440 --> 0:00:55.080 we've released have have pushed him, and now he's contacted, 0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:59.320 he's gonna get therapy, he's gonna talk to you. Yes. Yeah, 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:02.120 So that made me feel good. I was like, yeah, 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:04.640 you know, thanks. And then other people have been doing 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:08.280 nice little mental health things like keeping a law journal, 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:14.160 um for for like for habit breaking stuff. So you know, 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:18.440 lots of it's been um it's been uh been great. Yes, 0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:20.880 several people wrote me that it changed how they looked 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:24.720 at trauma, like that conversation where I was saying that 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:28.319 it's not necessarily one traumatic event. It can be a 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:32.240 bunch of small events, like having a family member that 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:35.840 neglected you, like a parent, or you know, a relationship 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:38.039 where it was like several things that might seem like 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:39.800 well they called me dumb or they said this, but 0:01:39.880 --> 0:01:44.679 it's like overtime that adds up to trauma in your brain. Um, 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:48.200 so yeah, so good. But today we're talking about something 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:51.520 very interesting, right we are. We're talking about E M 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:54.760 D R. Not too already forgot what is the electronic 0:01:54.920 --> 0:02:00.200 music medium. I could see Kevin, our guest, who like 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:04.240 mouthing it for me, getting it confused. Um, I was 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:06.920 going to be like speaking of trauma. Our guests this 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:16.480 week is television writer, producer, show runner, co creator of 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:19.480 Cougar Town, creator been listed. I like to think of 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:24.320 him as the a dad on the internet, Kevin Beagle, 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:29.240 my dad or a daddy because someone daddy Kevin. I 0:02:29.240 --> 0:02:32.520 think that's cool. I would stay with those blue eyes 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:37.120 definitely both. All right, Well, I'm very happy to be here. 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:42.120 I love I I weirdly but honestly love talking about 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:45.400 trauma because I think it's so I think it's a great, 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:48.519 great thing you guys are doing here. Thank you. That 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:50.239 sound like a dad by the way, I think the 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:54.040 great thing you guys are doing here, you and Mike 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:57.520 Roys Like, I feel like you're both very much you 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:00.160 take on the role of being the dad's of the Internet, 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:05.720 like you're constantly showing your smoked meats um and talking 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:08.080 about your kids. But I think you look out for 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:10.280 the rest of us that are like coming up, which 0:03:10.280 --> 0:03:12.079 is necessary. I feel like the rest of us that 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:15.480 are breaking into the writing and the industry and it 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:17.720 can be really vicious, and so I feel like we 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:20.160 need mentors, and I feel like you're very much a 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:24.840 mentor for many people, but also just collectively the Internet 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:28.160 to say, I really do think that's it's it's what 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:30.200 we have to do. And I mean we as like 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:33.440 a collective kind of we anyone fortunate enough to be 0:03:33.480 --> 0:03:36.200 in a position like I'm in, Like I mean, someone 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:38.840 gave me, multiple people gave me a shot and helped 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:40.839 me out. So I mean, I feel like I feel 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:43.000 like I didn't that I'd be I'd become the kind 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:45.600 of person living in Los Angeles that I go, God, 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:48.680 I can't stand those people, you know. So there's basically 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:50.080 a lot. It's a lot of it's fueled by not 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:54.040 wanting to hate myself, but there's a lot of genuine, 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:57.240 you know, love and supporting. Also, they're like the industry 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:59.520 and whatever you want to call it can't survive if 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:02.280 it's a bunch true dudes like me who are writing 0:04:02.280 --> 0:04:06.040 all the stories like, you're also not old. I see you, 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:08.440 I see you tweet that sometimes you are also not old. 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:10.920 As your friend, this is my job to tell you 0:04:11.000 --> 0:04:18.039 these things. You are both a daddy and you're not old. Um. Well, 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:21.200 we always start our podcast with what we're seeking out about, 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:24.159 like anything that you're super into right now, Kevin, Do 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:26.480 you have anything that you're geeking out about? Yeah, I'm 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:29.280 obsessed with the second season of What We Do in 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:32.400 the Shadows. It's like my favorite show comedy of the 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:36.400 past couple of years, easily. Um. It's so funny that 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:39.520 every actor on it is excellent, the writing is incredible, 0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:42.240 it's shot so well. I mean, I I that show 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:45.840 is funny because the movie it's based on is one 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:48.600 of my favorite movies, The Marvel Show that we did 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:51.200 then it never went Actually, the whole that show The Conceit, 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:53.440 and everything was based on that movie, even the style 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:55.680 of it. So then when they said they were announcing 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:57.039 this show, part of me is like, I hope it 0:04:57.040 --> 0:05:00.760 fails because we didn't make it, you know, like Dicky. 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:03.560 But then I saw it's excellent, I mean, and everyone 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:08.000 is so it's so funny. Um. Yeah, I love that show. 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:10.719 And then the other thing I'm watching right now it's 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:13.360 not new um and I'm finally catching up as a Catastrophe. 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:16.800 Oh yeah, I've been wanting to catch up on that too. 0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:19.640 What about you, Ifi? What are you getting out about? 0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:24.760 For me? You know? Apex Legends has just introduced a 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:28.840 new update and a new champion, new champion that I 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:33.920 just can't get enough of, Loba who she was teased 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:38.040 in the in the earlier kind of because there was 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:42.720 another champion in the previous season called um uh it's 0:05:42.760 --> 0:05:46.680 it's it's very edgy. What is Revenant? Uh? And in 0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:49.719 like in the teaser you kind of get hints that 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:52.560 this takes place before the events of the game and 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:56.080 there's a little girl who looks very angry when her 0:05:56.400 --> 0:05:58.640 her family is killed because Revenant is a gun for 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:01.960 hire who has had his mind taken out of his 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:04.960 body so that it can be replicated in robots so 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:07.680 that he has a million lives. And he finds out 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:11.640 in that uh in that backstory, Apex Legends has a 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:15.479 deep lore. Shout out to my friend uh Manny uh 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:20.400 Gopien who writes on Apex Legends and Loba. I texted 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:21.520 him the other day. I was like, hey, I got 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:23.920 a question for Apex Legend. Was like, yeah, what's good. 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:26.719 It's like, why do you make her so hot? Um? 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:32.000 Because her name is Loba Andrade. I'll drop a link 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:35.200 so everyone knows what I'm talking about. But but yeah, 0:06:35.240 --> 0:06:37.840 she she carries like a cane. She she has fun 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:40.840 new abilities and they did a lot of fixing and 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:43.520 balancing into the game and it's it's fun to play. 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:46.480 I've been deep in it and uh, I cannot wait 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:50.039 to for the Lobo cosplay, you know, putting yeah, more 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:53.360 thick Latinos in the game. During this uh, during the 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:59.200 uh during this teen um. The thing that I'm seeking 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:02.480 out about is actually Joel and I and our friend 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:05.320 Sabina super producer. Joel and I like we have a 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:09.400 little Zoom running date that happens every weekend where we 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:13.280 watch like several hours of a TV show together essentially. 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:17.160 Also while I'm cooking and cleaning, um there there with 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:21.600 me and we watched a fashion show with Tan France. Now, 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:24.320 Tan France is one of the guys from Queer Eye, 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:28.120 the newest edition of queer Ie, one of my favorites. Um. 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:31.480 In fact, I find myself whenever I see him do something, 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:35.040 I'm like, oh, Tanny because they call him Tanny in there, 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:38.040 and I'm always like, that's my friend Tan. Um. Anyways, 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:40.040 I'm so obsessed with him and have been that I 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:45.160 didn't realize that he had a uh biography out, and 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:50.760 so it's called Naturally Tan and Um. It talks about 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:52.640 his you know, coming up and how he got to 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:55.320 Queer Eye, and it's just really fascinating. One thing that 0:07:55.360 --> 0:07:57.760 I didn't know about him is he was making his 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:01.280 own clothes at like fifteen, so it's like he's been 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:03.760 wanting to do that and break into He's been doing 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:07.040 it since like birth. Um. Also, he was saying, because 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:10.680 his family isn't used to Western culture, that his dad 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:14.760 bought him barbies in a Barbie house, not knowing like 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:19.400 our you know, homophobia around stuff like that. That's incredible. 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:21.480 He said his dad did it to show off to 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:23.680 his cousin. He wanted to be like, well, look at 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:26.640 the Christmas not Christmas whatever, it would have the equivalent. 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:28.440 He was like, look at what I got him, and 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:30.360 it was like barbies in a huge Barbie house. And 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:32.160 he was like, it was like a dream. It was 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:36.400 like the best. So yeah, anyways, I love I loved 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:40.160 tan Um also very spicy. I thought that he was 0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:44.400 just like, oh, he's like the he's non confrontational and no, 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:49.320 he's confrontational, but that's on audible. He narrates it. I 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:51.440 love it and I love him. Oh that's really cool. 0:08:51.480 --> 0:08:53.280 I have two more things I forgot. I got two more. 0:08:53.760 --> 0:08:56.160 One is the show on Netflix called and it's it's 0:08:56.200 --> 0:08:59.280 a kid show, but we blew through the first season 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:00.959 with a nine year old are called Keepo and the 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:08.800 Wonder Beasts, and it's yeah and awesome. That show is great. Um, 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:11.920 like the kind of big, weird fantasy stuff that like 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:14.000 as a kid that you see you're like, oh my gosh, 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:15.560 am I the only person in the world's gonna like this, 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:17.000 And then you find somebody else who likes it and 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:19.959 it makes it that much more special it's great. Um 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:21.800 so that that and I think the second season is 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:23.640 coming out pretty soon as that. And then the other 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:26.760 thing which isn't very new is I'm obsessed with Witch 0:09:26.840 --> 0:09:29.560 Or three and I need to honestly break the disk 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:32.920 in half because I'm not getting anything done three in 0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:36.079 the morning. D yet I haven't that, I don't think 0:09:36.080 --> 0:09:38.800 I can't. I can't do it. And I'm so used 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:41.640 to like like the Skyrie Me sort of you know, 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:43.559 big open world stuff and fall Out where it's like 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:46.480 there's clearly good and clearly bad, and in that game 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:49.040 there's it's so morally great. It's like you think you 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:51.600 do something good and then a whole children, a bunch 0:09:51.640 --> 0:09:55.160 of children die are like the people being in the 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:57.400 forest that was mean, like now while the kids still 0:09:57.400 --> 0:09:59.400 have to eat him by the witches, like there's no 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:01.280 you don't get to be like the big hero in 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:04.960 that game, which is fascinating to and and it's also beautiful. 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:07.640 So I'm i'm, I'm. I'm kind of losing way too 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:10.520 much sleep and worktime corunning around with Gerald and maybe 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:12.800 now I can watch the show on Netflix and sort 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:14.520 of understanding because I tried to watch it before it 0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:18.720 was just it was just too much. What's your lure is? Yeah? 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:22.280 And now now I bet I could sit down like 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:24.439 all that serials. Yeah, it was like there she is. 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:29.640 Today we are talking about another great transition. E M 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:37.520 d R. It stands for Eye movement, desensitization and reprocessing. UM. 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:42.239 It's fairly new, nontraditional type of psychotherapy. It's growing in popularity, 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:47.520 particularly for treating PTSD. At first glance, it appears to 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:51.120 approach psychological issues in an unusual way. It doesn't rely 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:54.840 on talk therapy, although they're often combined. I think sometimes 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:57.760 it's necessary. Um. But e M d R uses a 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:02.160 patient's own rapid rhythmic i'm movements. These eye movements dampened 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:05.880 the power of emotionally charged memories of past traumatic events. 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:10.160 That's some that's some wild stuff. I mean, we're going 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:12.800 to get into what that means. We just listed off 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:15.600 a bunch of words. Yeah. But but but stick with us. 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:17.559 Let's let's go into the history and try and help 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:20.160 you out. So M d R therapy was first developed 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:23.880 by Francine Shapiro, upon noticing that certain eye movements reduced 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:28.120 the intensity of disturbing thought. She then conducted a scientific 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:31.440 study with trauma victims in the year me and Danny 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:34.400 were born, and the research was published in the Journal 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:38.679 of Traumatic Stress in nineteen eighty nine. Her hypothesis was 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:41.840 that when a traumatic or distressing experience occurs, it may 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:46.280 overwhelm normal coping mechanisms, with with the memory and associated 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:51.000 stimuli being inact, inadequately processed and stored in the isolated 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:54.800 memory network. Schapire also noted that when she was experiencing 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:58.679 a disturbing thought, her eyes would involuntarily move rapidly. She 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:01.440 further noted that her anxiety was reduced when she brought 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:05.679 her eye movements under voluntary control while thinking a traumatic thought. 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:08.680 Shapiro developed E M d R therapy for post traumatic 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:14.000 stress disorder. She speculated that traumatic events upset the excitatory 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:17.719 inhibitory balance in the brain, causing a pathological change in 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:22.320 neural elements more words, lots that There's a lot of information, 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:24.480 but I feel like that was a little easier to 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:27.280 digest kind of hearing the history of it, because you 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:30.280 kind of get they kind of laid out the hypothesis 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:34.080 really well as to why you would do this. Yeah, 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:35.840 so I wanted to say that Kevin and I are 0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:40.319 both doing different ones. There's several different ways to do 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:43.559 E M D are based on what's right for you 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:47.439 and also the psychiatrists that you're seeing. So Kevin, I 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:49.480 wanted to ask, like, how did you how did you 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:52.439 find this? Um So I was I had been in 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:57.360 therapy prior to starting MB are near ten years or so, 0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:00.280 UM and I think I hid, I know, think I 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:02.760 know I hit that sort of plateau or I just 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:05.440 felt like I was in therapy and kind of talking 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:08.559 and talking and not working through issues so much and 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:11.960 for and that can be wonderful community, but it wasn't 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:15.559 hitting the core traumatic memories and experiences that I had, 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.800 and I wasn't really I wasn't moving along with them. 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:22.679 UM So, I can't remember who it was that suggested 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:24.760 E M b R. I actually, yes, I do. I 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:26.959 know who it was exactly as my wife, UM because 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:29.160 my wife went to school to be a therapist and 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:31.640 she had heard about this and she said, why don't 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:34.200 you look into it? And there was uh someone who 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:39.079 is very well regarded here in Los Angeles UM therapist 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:41.480 and I wrote her and she took me in and 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:44.440 it was actually a therapist who by a weird connection 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:49.559 my wife's therapist, uh that she had taught with new 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:52.920 So like there I wasn't a stranger coming off the street, um, 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:55.800 and and just started from there. I've been doing it 0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:58.640 for about two years now, and I had to basically 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:01.240 stopped seeing the last the therapist and switched to the 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:03.679 new one, which was weirdly. I don't know if you've 0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:06.199 ever had to like basically say goodbye to a therapist. 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:10.719 It's such a strange, like it should be easy, but 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:13.880 it's not. And this was made stranger because she didn't 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:16.520 want me to go, and she was, well, maybe can 0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:19.400 even coming twice a week and and and you can't. 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:20.880 You don't have to tell her about me. I'm like, 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:25.360 this seems weird, Like that's going with the new agent. 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:28.120 It's like being an agent and going with a new agent. 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:29.960 I was like, I don't, I don't think I should. 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:32.040 I should be here anymore if we're having this conversation. 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:34.360 So I kind of like, you know, kind of like 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:37.280 got out of there. And and she don't get me wrong, 0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:39.400 she was wonderful, but I think our time had the 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:42.680 relationship was over. And yeah, that's how we started with 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:47.120 the emdr that's why I can't get over that because well, 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:49.280 and I've I've seen a lot of therapists too. I 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:51.320 kind of we talked about it like that. It's dating. 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:53.480 You know, you're trying to find your right one that 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:57.240 works for you. But I just can't imagine my therapist 0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:00.840 liking me and my problem so much that they want 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:04.440 to hang onto them. It's a really it is such 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:07.600 a strange thing because you're basically you're right. It is 0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:10.280 like auditioning people are dating them because you don't if 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:13.000 you if you're trying, like I'm someone and maybe you 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.960 are too. That was very open to going in and 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:18.040 talking about the stuff I was trying to deal because 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:20.960 I was like, I need help. And if someone isn't 0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:23.280 that open to the experience and they go in and 0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:26.040 they sit down with somebody, there's no guarantee that first 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:27.840 person to sit down, or the second person or the 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:29.600 third is going to be the right fit. And to 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:31.320 kind of try to convince them, no, you have to 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:34.440 there's other people, there's different ways. That's that's a hard 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:36.520 buy for people because they kind of feel like, you know, well, 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:39.080 the mechanic didn't fix my car, so I'm selling the car. 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:40.480 It's like, no, no, you are the car like go 0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:45.440 to place, terrible metaphor like, so, uh yeah, it's it's 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:49.200 thank god that and I really mean that. The two 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:51.760 therapists I've had where I was good fits with them 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:54.000 and they were good fits with me, because yeah, that's 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:57.400 that's a tough that's that's hard. It's really hard when 0:15:57.440 --> 0:16:00.800 it's not a right fit. Yeah. I wanted to get 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:04.240 into what an actual session is. So some can last 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:07.400 up to ninety minutes. Essentially, your therapist will move his 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:10.160 or hor his or her fingers back and forth in 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:11.960 front of your face and ask you to follow these 0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:14.880 hand motions with your eyes. At the same time, the 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:17.320 e m D the e m D R therapist will 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:20.040 have you recall a disturbing event. We'll get into that 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:24.040 because that's extremely traumatic. Uh. This will include the emotions 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.680 and body sensations that go along with it. Some therapists 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:31.040 use alternatives to finger movements, such as hard or toe 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:33.920 hand or toe tapping, or musical tones. Now I know 0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:36.080 yours is a little bit different. Kevin, can you talk 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:39.200 about when you first what your first session was like? Yeah, 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:41.680 it was so, it was very really interesting. I think 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:43.560 it's really important to stress as we're talking about the 0:16:43.640 --> 0:16:46.000 m d R UM and this is my personal experience. 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:48.480 You can't speak for anybody else, but if you're going 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:52.000 into look look at doing it. You don't want if 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:54.200 you go into a new therapist and you do it, 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:56.080 you don't want to do it the first session, Like, 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:57.480 that's not the way to do it. You have to 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:00.200 build up the m d R kind of experience. And 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:02.040 there's a whole process that goes there. You know that 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:06.000 it's basically I met with my therapist probably for a 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:09.280 solid month, you know, once a week. UM, she's getting 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.119 my history, getting the history of my trauma and stuff 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:15.000 that I was the kind of presenting her with UM 0:17:15.640 --> 0:17:17.520 and then even beyond. And that's just kind of normal 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:19.960 therapist talk. But the thing that's very specific to m 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:22.320 d R as I had it was then you're also 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:24.520 to gear up to these e m d R sessions. 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:28.639 You're building this sort of mental safe space if this 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:32.480 makes sense, and you're populating it with people who have 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:36.680 you have zero issues other than pure support and love. 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:40.560 So mine and I'll expose this part. My my mental 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:43.040 safe space to go to was my garage, because the 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:45.560 garage has no other issues outside of it. It's like 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:48.159 this big nerdy garage full of movie posters that I 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:50.919 watched films in. I have friends over to watch them, 0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:52.800 like I just sitting there and play skyro them like 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:55.280 an idiot, and you know, everyone tells me to turn 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:58.800 the volume down, like it's just pure joy being in there, 0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:01.480 and and it literally does feel safe. It's cozy. So 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:04.720 that's kind of a mental mental starting place for these sessions. 0:18:05.160 --> 0:18:07.240 And then I've populated it with people and I've taught 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:09.239 you know, we go in therapy, we go through who 0:18:09.320 --> 0:18:12.080 are these people? Doesn't have to be a lot um. 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:15.840 Who are pure people and influences in your life that 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:20.080 you basically want their uh. And as you're thinking about 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:23.399 this um to be behind you, imagine they're kind of 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:25.920 surrounding you that they've got when someone's got their hand 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:28.320 on your shoulder and you're just you're surrounded by people 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:31.440 who love you and you love them, UM, and you 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:33.840 get those and you talk about why those people are important. 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:35.800 So you're I'm in the I mean so mentally you 0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:37.600 kind of build this place up where I'm in my 0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:41.600 garage and I've got people around me that I care 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:44.280 about UM and trust me when the first time I 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:47.360 did this, I'm like, this sounds insane, Like this does 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:49.840 not This doesn't sound like therapy of this sounds like, 0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:52.800 you know, someone's waving a crystal over my head, you know, 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:56.159 and they're chanting around me. Um. But anyhow, so I 0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:59.200 sat on the couch and the therapist in front of me, 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:02.280 and she had these two little devices that she could 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:07.480 control that pulsed and vibrated, and I, I, can you 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:09.520 put them where around your body want? You just want 0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:13.920 to feel that vibration, very rhythmic vibration. And I had 0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:17.320 them and I put them underneath my legs, underneath my thighs, 0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:22.600 and basically before we started the e MDR session, we 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:26.399 pinpointed kind of one specific moment that was kind of 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:28.520 a core for a lot of the trauma that I 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:30.920 was dealing with. And in a specific moment for me 0:19:31.040 --> 0:19:32.480 was I was dealing with a lot of trauma still 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:35.560 because a little over ten years ago, out of nowhere, 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:38.320 I had a heart attack almost killed me. Doctors all 0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:41.040 said it should have killed me and I and I 0:19:41.080 --> 0:19:43.960 had no way of coping with that reality. I mean, 0:19:44.040 --> 0:19:46.960 it was just I couldn't shut off that switch that 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:48.840 said you should be dead. I just couldn't. I mean, 0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:50.960 and it come back to me all the time, and 0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:54.560 just if theyn't even thinking about it would scare the 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:56.399 crap out of me. And it was it was very 0:19:56.440 --> 0:20:00.479 it's hard to deal with. UM. So the core memory 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:04.320 one of them at least, that was a big signifier 0:20:04.359 --> 0:20:06.280 of this stuff and would literally kind of cause me 0:20:06.359 --> 0:20:09.560 the tense up and shoulders would go up. Was when 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:13.359 I got a phone call from a heart doctor that said, 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:16.720 you're you need heart surgery immediately. Um, we need to 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:18.560 put a stent in you, or we need to do 0:20:18.640 --> 0:20:23.880 angioplastic um. You've got a major blockage blocked in the back. 0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:25.480 It's the basically the thing that they called a widow 0:20:25.520 --> 0:20:29.200 maker that kills people like that and I'm out of nowhere. 0:20:29.200 --> 0:20:31.280 It was a Friday night. I was at home meeting pizza, Like, 0:20:31.359 --> 0:20:33.200 I was like, what, so I'm sitting at my desk, 0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:35.240 I take this phone call. So that was kind of 0:20:35.280 --> 0:20:37.800 that and I could never think about that call without 0:20:38.119 --> 0:20:40.119 those things I just talked about, you know, going like this, 0:20:40.359 --> 0:20:45.679 my face getting flushed, just you know, classic traumatic reaction, 0:20:45.720 --> 0:20:47.800 and that would right into other places of my life. 0:20:47.880 --> 0:20:51.480 So basically I've got these little buzzing things underneath my legs. 0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:54.520 She goes, okay, you know, however you want to do this. 0:20:54.560 --> 0:20:56.359 Do you want to keep your eyes open? Close and whatever. 0:20:56.720 --> 0:20:59.320 I wanted to close and close my eyes, and she said, 0:20:59.359 --> 0:21:01.640 go through them in and tell me what you see. 0:21:02.280 --> 0:21:05.000 So I went through the memory and it went through it. 0:21:05.640 --> 0:21:07.879 First time I went through it was pretty basic, and 0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:12.040