1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: You know what's so fun about this podcast drinking well 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: that I don't usually drink in my normal podcast. But 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: during that casual, like I was put up, I put 4 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,879 Speaker 1: up an Insta story about this topic. I thought about 5 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: it all day, and I'm just like excited to talk 6 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,240 Speaker 1: about it. It's like when you get together with your 7 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: girlfriends and you're just having like girl talk, right, but 8 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: it's gay talk. Sometimes it's both, especially today, well, I 9 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 1: mean it makes it so much more fun that like 10 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 1: people are actually interacting with it too. I know I 11 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: do like that as well. I think it's um one 12 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:34,160 Speaker 1: of those things too. It's like I wouldn't necessarily say 13 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 1: some of this stuff to some of my friends, and 14 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:38,839 Speaker 1: so then they listen and they're like, oh, I'm learning 15 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: so much about you. Oh I hope my mom is 16 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: not listening. I've still tried to ban her from that casual, 17 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: except today I posted an Insta story and we'll get 18 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: into the topic in just a second, and it was 19 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: about if you dabble and hook up with a person 20 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: of the same sex, doesn't make you gay. And my 21 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 1: mom wrote me back and goes, oh, are you um 22 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: dabbling it? Like go word, You're like new phone, who 23 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 1: does Yeah, mom? Is that you definitely not a topic 24 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 1: I have any advice? Gross, Nor is that a topic 25 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: I want to think about. I mean I've never even 26 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 1: thought about it. But like, how crazy would be if 27 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: your mom was like, hello, I want to talk about dabbling, Like, 28 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 1: let me tell about the rabble. I got it to 29 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 1: dabble for you. Um so I did put that into 30 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: story up today and you guys actually was a little surprised. Chip, 31 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: what do you think the percentage was? I'm sorry, Yes 32 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,479 Speaker 1: I did. I put a pull up in one was yes. 33 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: I was going to say yes, yes it makes you gay? Really, 34 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:45,959 Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people, well, I mean 35 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 1: have to think about think I have something follow Yeah, 36 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 1: it's I mean I think in the general populace you're 37 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: talking about here, maybe it's thirty seventy for you answered 38 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: for the velvet, not the edge. Um so you think 39 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: said yes and that would make really bad at math 40 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: right now? Um wow, you are astonishingly close. You must 41 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 1: have seen my company said yes, said now what do 42 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: you think? I know? I don't think it does. I mean, look, 43 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: I think that sexuality is a spectrum. There's all different 44 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: sorts of colors on the rainbow sexuality. And I do 45 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 1: think that there are people that like live in this 46 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 1: like really middle space that they're just sexual, like there's 47 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 1: there's no definition. They just like touch and people and 48 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 1: personalities and sex, yeah, and sex, and they're not going 49 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: to be defined by it, really like it. Well, we've 50 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 1: actually talked about no fucking way, I have zero interest 51 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 1: in it, right, which would be very hardcore heterosexual or 52 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 1: very hardcore hoosexually. And yeah, but you think there's a 53 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: lot of embedding for you, right, right, Serve your judgment 54 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: for yourself, you know. So I don't, but I don't 55 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: think that dabbling. I think that, In fact, sometimes I 56 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 1: think it takes doing that along your journey to figure 57 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,519 Speaker 1: out what it is that you actually like. Yeah. I 58 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 1: actually read a lot of articles and got some messages 59 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 1: from you guys about the younger generations, and that is 60 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 1: a very common thing, especially amongst the high school age. Now. 61 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: They're they're very open as it. They're like trying all 62 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: the things and almost like trying to outdo each other 63 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: with oh well I did this with this person and 64 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: that with that person, and like trying to discover where 65 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: they lie on the spectrum. Well, you know, I think 66 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: just like even the whole like discussion around gender now, 67 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: like obviously a lot of walls are being broken down 68 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: about it, and it's a construct. It's a social construct 69 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 1: where we've decided that you're either a male or female, 70 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 1: and we're quickly learning now that that's not necessarily the case, right, right, 71 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 1: So I think in the same way that we wanted 72 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: to put people in boxes of like you're either straight, 73 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: you're gay, or if you like both, your bisexual, and 74 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: the spectrum is so much bigger than that that now 75 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 1: that there aren't these boxes that we fit in, we're like, 76 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: wait a minute, so where do I fit? And it's 77 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: a lot more socially acceptable to be like, well, I'm 78 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: gonna try salt and pepper, right, I think that's right. 79 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: I have this like weird thing that I'm going to 80 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:25,479 Speaker 1: admit about myself when I was younger, like thinking about, um, 81 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 1: this topic, and I feel bad about this, but this 82 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,040 Speaker 1: is genuinely just how I used to think. And I 83 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 1: think a lot of people still think this way. But 84 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: like if a girl does it, it's one thing, right, 85 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,840 Speaker 1: Like it's like, oh, everyone has a college story, right, 86 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:39,919 Speaker 1: Like I'm doing like quotes marks like, oh, you know 87 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,280 Speaker 1: back in college. Um, but if a guy does it, 88 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: like I actually used to be like, there's no, well, 89 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: I didn't think bisexual was a thing. I was just like, no, 90 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: you're like gay then, like, especially with a guy, because 91 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 1: you always just or a lot of people I think 92 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 1: associate if a guy does that with being a homosexual, 93 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: and like why why can a girl do it and 94 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 1: not a guy? Well, I also think too further to 95 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 1: that is when it's a certain guy, like you take 96 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,160 Speaker 1: someone like a Harry Styles or Jared Letto or these 97 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: like guys that like sort of define what beautiful men are. 98 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,159 Speaker 1: If you heard that Harry Styles had had sex with 99 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:23,599 Speaker 1: some men, like I think Harry Styles has orgasms, orgasms 100 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: every night totally, but like no one would think twice. 101 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,480 Speaker 1: It's not gonna make girls like him any less. It's 102 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 1: not gonna make guys like him any less. Like he's 103 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,040 Speaker 1: also British for some reason, I feel like they can 104 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: get away with so much more. That does help. But 105 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,800 Speaker 1: I do think it's funny like that stigma definitely who 106 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 1: did used to stick. I think more with men. But 107 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: I also think too back to the social construct thing 108 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: is that lesbianism was always sort of like deified and 109 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:52,720 Speaker 1: like if they were like it was like a fantasy 110 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: thing then yeah, I mean yeah, I mean it's but 111 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: I feel like now that porn and things are so 112 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 1: much more readily of elible. Yeah, it's I mean, there's 113 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: nothing shocking about lesbian porn at this point. You know, 114 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,960 Speaker 1: there's nothing to like really like lifted up, because there's 115 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 1: all kinds of porn that's you know, at your fingertips 116 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 1: at this point, right, whereas before I think it was 117 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: it was glorified as really and it was put on 118 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: a pedestal. Right. It's just so strange, and maybe it 119 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: has something to do with like, as women, we want 120 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: a very like masculine you know, like that's like very sexy, 121 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 1: like this like farm guy with muscles and you just 122 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:33,840 Speaker 1: like those kind of guys you associate with like bailing hey, 123 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,239 Speaker 1: not like sucking dick, and so like if they were 124 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,039 Speaker 1: I would be shook, and I think that it would 125 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 1: be like wait, what that's not. But back in the 126 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 1: Roman times, it was like that's back in the Roman 127 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: times referencing here, It's like it was like, yeah, back 128 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: in those days, it was like if you were the king, 129 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: you were you had dudes that you were thinking it 130 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: was a power thing. So it's like, you know, then 131 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,240 Speaker 1: you're you're getting into different layers of it. It's like, 132 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:04,920 Speaker 1: if you're the dude who's sucking the dick, or you're 133 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 1: getting your dick sucked up. Wasn't that like a bottom 134 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: and the top? Well yeah, but like that's more about penetration. 135 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: But okay, well, um, but what makes you more gay 136 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 1: having your dick sucked by a guy or sucking a 137 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: guy's dick? You know, like that's a great question. This 138 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: is this message comes from Gabby. She says, Okay, I 139 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 1: know this is messed up, but I feel like it's 140 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 1: if it's a woman experimenting, no, but if it's a man, 141 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: I think they're gay. I don't think I could ever 142 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: date a guy who has had sexual experiences with another guy. 143 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: Yet I fantasize about hooking up with women, though I 144 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: never have. I also watch girl on girl porn, which 145 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: I actually think is really common for women because dicks 146 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: are so ugly, Gaby. I hear you, Gabby, and the 147 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: orgasm isn't relatable. Usually in a girl and guy porn, 148 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 1: this is quite vulnerable and scary. I'm just typing out 149 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 1: and sending By the way, I'm straight and I'm in 150 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 1: a relationship with a man. She covered two topics I 151 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: actually want to talk about. But it is, it's like 152 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 1: such a stigma around the guy thing, and I don't 153 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 1: really have the answer for what. I actually tried to 154 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 1: google this and ask the question why is this the 155 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: way that it is? And there's no articles about it either. 156 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 1: The only thing I can come up with is the 157 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 1: masculine thing where we just associate, Well, if you're hooking 158 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: up with another dude, then because you know, like a 159 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: masculine guide too, they're not like world touch you feeling 160 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: with their guys like girls are so huggy and lovy 161 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: and just like we're just more affectionate in general. So 162 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,840 Speaker 1: I think it's not as big as a stretch, whereas 163 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:37,320 Speaker 1: like a dude's dude is like broke get the funk 164 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: away from me, you know. But have you seen Brokeback Mountain? 165 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: Like I think that there's like they're like it can be. 166 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 1: I mean, Brokeback Mountain is probably not the best, but 167 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: those weren't like effeminate guys, you know. Um, I think 168 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: that like the idea of someone being emasculated by having 169 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 1: sex with a man. A man being emasculated by having 170 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,319 Speaker 1: sex with a man is I think we have this 171 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: like sort of idea of what gay men look like 172 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: in society for sure, but there's they come in all 173 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: shapes inside like a feminine. I think that is stereotype, 174 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 1: and I think that probably is a result of the 175 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: times that we grew up in. Like you didn't see 176 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,440 Speaker 1: masculine gay men on TV. It was always like the 177 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 1: gay assistant, right, right. So I think the reason why 178 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 1: it's probably different with kids today is because in the media, 179 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:31,080 Speaker 1: like gay has been so normalized that you know, we're 180 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 1: seeing gay people that look like everybody. Yeah. Um, this 181 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 1: is another message came from a friend of man. Actually, 182 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:39,440 Speaker 1: she said her husband said the same thing we do. 183 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,680 Speaker 1: He said, he just feels like girls are already touchy feely, 184 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 1: and so it doesn't mean anything. But if a guy 185 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:47,440 Speaker 1: allows another guy to touch his dick, then he's gay. 186 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 1: I guess he feels like girls could swing both ways, 187 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: but he feels that a guy is really into being 188 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,439 Speaker 1: with a guy, then he's truly gay. I will say 189 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: a lot of my guy gay friends never were with women, 190 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 1: or if they did not or if they where they 191 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,559 Speaker 1: did not enjoy that experience. You have said something different though, 192 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: we talked about that on this podcast before you like 193 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 1: fully came out. You were with women. Yeah, yeah, I 194 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: mean I've had sex with three women. Did you enjoy it? Yeah, 195 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,240 Speaker 1: I mean I think it was um circumstantially yes, Like 196 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,440 Speaker 1: in the moment, I was enjoying what was happening, But 197 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: I also there was like conflict in my brain why 198 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: because in those moments, I was like affirming that the 199 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: attraction wasn't really there. When you're like your body felt good, 200 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 1: but you didn't feel attract right. It didn't I didn't 201 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,839 Speaker 1: feel right in that moment, and then you're it's fox 202 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,680 Speaker 1: with your head. You're like, oh my god, they're going 203 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,439 Speaker 1: to know I'm not into it, and then you can 204 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 1: use your direction and it's all of those things. But 205 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 1: there were certainly times when I was with girls that, like, 206 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 1: I mean, especially when I lost the night I lost 207 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: my virginity, was like I couldn't believe it was finally happening. 208 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 1: It's like, but that was probably the first moment that 209 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, all of those feelings that I've 210 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 1: been thinking might be going on are actually going on. 211 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: That's interesting, Yeah, because I was I mean I thought, 212 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I was in love with my high school 213 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,400 Speaker 1: girlfriend and even when when we broke up, it was 214 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:19,080 Speaker 1: she cheated on me and I was like devastated. But 215 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: I also knew at that point that I was gay. 216 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: So it's like, I don't know, like love, love and 217 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: sex are two very different, but you know, I do 218 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: think it is possible to um enjoy it even though 219 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 1: if it's not your thing. That said, back to the 220 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 1: whole spectrum argument, like I think there were people that 221 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 1: are a little more in the middle that holes a hole, 222 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 1: you know, like yeah, just human connection, and there there 223 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: is an actual spectrum that's being made now, and I 224 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 1: would think this goes back to the younger generations being 225 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 1: more into that. Um. But yeah, like it's so interesting 226 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,840 Speaker 1: to me because, like I said, like every girl was like, 227 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 1: oh I tried that in college, you know what I mean, 228 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:06,600 Speaker 1: Like I feel like we all have these stories and um, 229 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 1: I knew you were going to do that to me 230 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:16,320 Speaker 1: my friends. Okay, look, I'll fine, I'll fine, Fine, really 231 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: the bathroom right, No, But like I think it was 232 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,679 Speaker 1: okay for me. You know, my experience with this is 233 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 1: like when I was younger, why don't I do that? Here? 234 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,760 Speaker 1: What is my life? How did you do this to me? Um? 235 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 1: When I was younger in my twenties, like you know, 236 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:35,439 Speaker 1: you go through your party phases and so I read 237 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: a lot of articles about that too, but like it 238 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,520 Speaker 1: was like drinking and drugs and that's probably way too 239 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: much information for all you people. But like I when 240 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 1: I was like really fucked up. When I was younger, 241 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:50,960 Speaker 1: it felt more dangerous to me to like make out 242 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,199 Speaker 1: with a guy than a girl. So somehow in my head, 243 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: I would like justify that as like, well, I'm not 244 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,320 Speaker 1: gonna get raped, you know what I mean, Like it 245 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: just felt like, oh ha ha ha, we're gonna make out, 246 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,559 Speaker 1: Like I don't know, and I was just not really 247 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:09,320 Speaker 1: that present anyways. You're just like having fun kissing girl, 248 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,440 Speaker 1: but you're also like I mean, I think the thing 249 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 1: about drugs too, is is like they actually can kind 250 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:18,680 Speaker 1: of free you of the cages of too. Yeah, it's 251 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: like the self judgment and all of those things that 252 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: come along with like normal life. Yeah, got the window 253 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 1: when you're sucked up, That's true. Um. I found this 254 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 1: article on ABC news dot com, and it's they talk about. Um. 255 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,840 Speaker 1: They there's a term for that. It's called flexi sexual, 256 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 1: and like it's it's yeah, it's so common with girls, 257 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: like I mean, you mentioned Katy Perry has the whole 258 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 1: song about like kissing a girl and liking it. No 259 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: one has ever questioned Katy Perry's sexuality though, isn't that weird? Um? 260 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,440 Speaker 1: But this, they say in this article, it's not really 261 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,839 Speaker 1: experimenting but maybe trying to get some attention, which I 262 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 1: think is true to like with younger girls, especially now 263 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: with porn and stuff, it's like it's all like objectifying ourselves, 264 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 1: which that makes me sort of sick of my stomach 265 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 1: to think about. But inst it is. But it's like 266 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,680 Speaker 1: it's like objectification so that to like make guys interested. 267 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,719 Speaker 1: So like if you're doing it for that reason, it's 268 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: kind of just like come on now, like just there 269 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,800 Speaker 1: you go. Um. But then this says it says flexi 270 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 1: sexual is also known as hetero flexible. Women say it 271 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 1: has more to do with their view of the world 272 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 1: and the practice in the bedroom. When I was younger 273 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 1: girls bounced around in high school about sexuality. I think 274 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,760 Speaker 1: the older we got get, the more comfortable we are 275 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 1: with it being based more on their individual than either 276 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,640 Speaker 1: or as far as sexuality is concerned, like labels just 277 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 1: matter less. You know, there's been a lot of actress 278 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 1: as they mentioned, like Lindsay Lohan, Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, 279 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 1: they've all dated women. I for me though, like I've 280 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 1: never I've said I wish that I was interested in 281 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,360 Speaker 1: dating women, Like I have no interest in it, and 282 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: I wish that I did because, like I think dudes 283 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: are such douchebags sometimes that it would be seems so 284 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 1: much easier to me to date a woman because I 285 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 1: have amazing friends who I'm just like you guys are amazing, rule, 286 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,400 Speaker 1: Like I wish I could date you would solve all 287 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:17,600 Speaker 1: my problems. Um, But I think there's a difference absolutely. 288 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,760 Speaker 1: I mean, look, I I feel the same way about 289 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,520 Speaker 1: the reverse, Like I'm most of my closest friend circle 290 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 1: as women, Like how easy with that I would I 291 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 1: could have the most amazing life in the world. Are 292 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 1: But I just think it's like, you know, I hate 293 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 1: to like keep hammering the spectrum thing, but it's like 294 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,240 Speaker 1: I kind of just know what I like and and 295 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 1: it took discovery to get there and self acceptance and 296 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 1: those sorts of things. But I think that, like, there 297 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 1: are people that live in this amazing gray area that 298 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: we should all be embracing because the moment that we 299 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 1: do embrace it, it removes judgment from society. You know. 300 00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 1: It's like, why, why should your journey matter to me 301 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 1: or matter to anyone else as long as it's not 302 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:06,960 Speaker 1: harming anybody. I mean, I think that's very true. I 303 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 1: also think it's just I think that what you keep 304 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 1: talking about with the spectrum is that everyone is kind 305 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 1: of maybe this is a porn thing or whatever, Like 306 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 1: maybe we're just more open to it doesn't have to 307 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 1: be so black and white and so like our bodies 308 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 1: are naturally turned on by certain things, and it doesn't 309 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:31,080 Speaker 1: necessarily even have to do with the gender of a person. 310 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,200 Speaker 1: Like the last message she mentioned porn, and I actually 311 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 1: got a couple of messages about that, and I have 312 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,840 Speaker 1: some thoughts on that. Um I wanted to pull up this. 313 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: This is from Shannon. She says, I've been married for 314 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 1: ten years. I love my husband, So what I'm gonna 315 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,600 Speaker 1: say is going to sound weird. When my husband has 316 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 1: gone for periods of time for work, I need to 317 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 1: take care of business on my own. I prefer to 318 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 1: watch lesbian porn. Now. I don't think this makes me gay, 319 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:57,119 Speaker 1: but there's something about watching it that makes me excited 320 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 1: and it gets me off. I've never been with a female, 321 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 1: but the thrill of watching girl and girl occasionally is exciting. 322 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 1: I wonder if that is part of the thrill. Is 323 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:13,639 Speaker 1: like that it's taboo, because that can be taboo, can 324 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:18,000 Speaker 1: be really sexy. Yeah, but I also like that's true. 325 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 1: I think that's true. You know if my experience with 326 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:27,879 Speaker 1: heterosexual porn, like it always just seems so scripted and 327 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:32,160 Speaker 1: staged and fake and there's no emotion in it. Right, Well, 328 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 1: I was going to say that exact thing, like that 329 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:38,000 Speaker 1: gay porn isn't the same way because it staged porn 330 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:42,159 Speaker 1: just feels fake. Yeah. Well, this is another message she 331 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 1: wanted to remain anomalous. It's like a new sexual Like, 332 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,680 Speaker 1: that's the new fluid. That's like when you don't even 333 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:54,800 Speaker 1: tell yourself that you're only with yourself, you're you're anomalous 334 00:17:54,880 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: to yourself. You're sexuality. Sexuality is anomalous. Um. Okay, hey, Kelly, 335 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,159 Speaker 1: So I have never heard of a sexuality spectrum, and 336 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,360 Speaker 1: now I'm researching because I find this really interesting. I'm 337 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: married to my husband for seven years. When I'm masturbated 338 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 1: or watch porn, I watch only lesbians. I find a woman. 339 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 1: I find the women so sexy and it just turns 340 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 1: me on. But I need dick. Does this make sense. 341 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,239 Speaker 1: I've never actually hooked up with a woman. I'm just 342 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 1: so turned to one. If you share this, please cover 343 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,760 Speaker 1: my photo. Kim Anonymous, Yeah, I'm anomalous. Um. That's our 344 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,960 Speaker 1: new T Shirt's interesting. Yeah, But so I had some 345 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 1: thoughts on this because you kind of touched on this, 346 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 1: and it's like the way that I view porn a 347 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 1: lot of times, and this is why I've had such 348 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,479 Speaker 1: a hard time with it for so many years. Is 349 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,920 Speaker 1: like there's a dude and he's like like I'm gonna 350 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 1: come in and I'm just gonna come all over your 351 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 1: face or something, and the girls, like you're watching them, 352 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 1: and they're so like doing everything for the dude, like 353 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,639 Speaker 1: and it's so frustrating, Well, for it's so frustrating for 354 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 1: a woman because like I feel like guys are watching 355 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 1: this and they're not learning how to have sex by 356 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,639 Speaker 1: watching this, they're learning how to like for them to 357 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,679 Speaker 1: get off right, but like to go to poundtown, as 358 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 1: one of our friends would say, are just like blah 359 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,159 Speaker 1: blah blah blam, Like sorry, dude, that's not gonna do 360 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 1: it for me, and like that is frustrating from a 361 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 1: woman's standpoint. So I feel like a lot of times 362 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: when you have two girls in this situation, whether it's 363 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,760 Speaker 1: like a threesome or a lesbian thing, there's a lot 364 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:25,639 Speaker 1: more like sensuality. There's a lot more touching, there's a 365 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,400 Speaker 1: lot more just a lot more of all of that, 366 00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:33,439 Speaker 1: and it seems more real. And I think for a girl, 367 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 1: you can put yourself in that position and go that 368 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: would feel good. Like I don't think you're necessarily like, 369 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,600 Speaker 1: oh I want to suck a girl, but you're like 370 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,440 Speaker 1: that would feel good to me. So that's what turns 371 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 1: you on. Have you ever watched male gay porn? I 372 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,919 Speaker 1: have seen male gay porn. Yeah, I'm just curious, Like 373 00:19:55,800 --> 00:20:00,439 Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a little homework. Oh great, do 374 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,960 Speaker 1: you think I mean maybe I'll give the listeners like Shannon, 375 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: like do the homework, like see if that if two 376 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:12,280 Speaker 1: men having sex like sort of arouse you in the 377 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:14,880 Speaker 1: same way, because I think the taboo thing of that 378 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 1: could because I think you like at first might be like, oh, 379 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,159 Speaker 1: it's not supposed to be that way, is like what 380 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,520 Speaker 1: an old mentality might say. Um, But then you might 381 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:26,399 Speaker 1: be like, oh, I've never seen this before and you're curious, which, 382 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 1: as human beings just turns us on, don't you think totally? 383 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 1: And I also think too that like exploring that curiosity 384 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 1: not saying like you have to actually do it, but 385 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,399 Speaker 1: watching it and like under trying to understand it a 386 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:47,000 Speaker 1: little bit actually might breakdown some walls because do you know, 387 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,639 Speaker 1: fear plays a really big part into like how we 388 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 1: define ourselves and how we judge people. It's just a 389 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 1: fear thing because you don't know and it and it 390 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 1: is taboo, it's a thing, and the world was so 391 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:02,080 Speaker 1: black and white for so long that it's like you 392 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,920 Speaker 1: feel like if you think anything different, what's wrong with me? Yeah? 393 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 1: But I do think that's a good point that you 394 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: make about like if you see something, then go like 395 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,560 Speaker 1: ask yourself, Okay, well what is it? Like if Shannon 396 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 1: is married and know she's like I've never been attracted 397 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,920 Speaker 1: to a woman, or like thought, I want to be 398 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,880 Speaker 1: in a relationship with a woman. Like she said, I 399 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 1: need dick, and that's how I feel like. I like, 400 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: I'm frustrated by it sometimes, but I'm like, god damn it. 401 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 1: I like man um, but I could easily get turned 402 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:34,400 Speaker 1: on by two women because of how they touch each other, 403 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:40,199 Speaker 1: and so that makes it more interesting versus like watching something, 404 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 1: especially when like to me, so many times in porn, 405 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: if we're just being really going to keep on this 406 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,919 Speaker 1: porn cycle here, it's so fucking fake. It's like the 407 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,160 Speaker 1: girl you know is not actually getting off like it's 408 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 1: so that to me is where you can't connect to 409 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 1: it right. Well, So what you're saying is when it 410 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:01,120 Speaker 1: comes to sex, whether you're watching it or engaging in it, yeah, 411 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,400 Speaker 1: is that it really is about the mental It's probably 412 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,119 Speaker 1: more about the mental connection that you're feeling with somebody, 413 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:12,000 Speaker 1: the emotional connect essential connects the actual act of having sex. 414 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,000 Speaker 1: I think so, right. I think that you like when 415 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,439 Speaker 1: you're watching that, you're you're connecting with that emotionally in 416 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 1: a way that is arousing because you're like, that's what 417 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 1: I want, you know, the same way that like when 418 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,679 Speaker 1: you're a teenager and you haven't had sex yet but 419 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:30,359 Speaker 1: you've started masturbating, Like those are those emotions. You're like, 420 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,159 Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm connecting with that, even though you 421 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,600 Speaker 1: don't know what all this ship is that you're doing right. 422 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 1: You know, you've never had sex, but you're getting off right. 423 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 1: So basically what we're saying to these two women, because 424 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,760 Speaker 1: like the women who were I was actually three women 425 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,479 Speaker 1: who wrote to me about the point. They were all like, 426 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 1: this is probably weird, but it actually just I was like, 427 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 1: I don't think that's weird at all. Like it made 428 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 1: so much sense to me immediately why women would feel 429 00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:00,119 Speaker 1: that way. The weird thing is it felt weird to 430 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 1: them to admit it, because they for admitting it, it's right. 431 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,680 Speaker 1: How free is that? Um? I was reading an article 432 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,800 Speaker 1: on psychology dot com and it was talking about just 433 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 1: like the different reasons why people would be on a 434 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 1: sexuality scale. Um. And it was actually a poll they 435 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 1: had done with college students. So they were like they admitted, 436 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:27,359 Speaker 1: they were like, this might not be realistic for just 437 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:31,120 Speaker 1: our entire culture because like college students are typically way 438 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 1: more experimental. There's probably a lot of more alcohol involved 439 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 1: in all those things. UM. So they had a lot 440 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:38,919 Speaker 1: of those things. It was like you know, I was 441 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 1: drunk and I hated it, or I was drunk and 442 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,480 Speaker 1: I would do it again. I did it because I 443 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:44,919 Speaker 1: wanted a guide, and you know, there's a lot of 444 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,080 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. Um, And then what made me 445 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,080 Speaker 1: sad was there was a couple of categories and it 446 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,679 Speaker 1: was like I was drunk, I would never do it 447 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,359 Speaker 1: again because I'm religious and it's not who I can be. 448 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 1: And that made me so ad. Yeah, that sucks because 449 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,359 Speaker 1: it's there's an outside force at play right there. You know, 450 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:11,840 Speaker 1: it's you can be who you are, and it's sad 451 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,679 Speaker 1: to see someone like anyone think that they can't be 452 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:17,400 Speaker 1: who they are. Well, I've always thought what a big 453 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,400 Speaker 1: debate that would be if you were super religious and 454 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,800 Speaker 1: had you know, these feelings inside and you're like identifying 455 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: as a gay man or a fluid person. Like are 456 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 1: plenty of really religious people who are openly gay, you know, Like, look, Judge, 457 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,919 Speaker 1: that's true. I mean, the thing is, they don't have 458 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:39,680 Speaker 1: to be mutually exclusive. It's just a society. Society tells 459 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,720 Speaker 1: us that they have to be. Um, there are plenty 460 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 1: of churches that openly welcome gay people. So I think, look, 461 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,879 Speaker 1: when it comes down to family, that's a different story 462 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:54,480 Speaker 1: because if you came from a super conservative familytimes people 463 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 1: have to choose between family and being themselves. And I 464 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 1: don't know for me, per say, it's like, I can't 465 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,880 Speaker 1: speak for everyone's experience, but god I would I can't 466 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:09,040 Speaker 1: imagine going to my grave trying to make somebody else happy. Well, 467 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:10,960 Speaker 1: it's even more said a lot of times to me. 468 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,120 Speaker 1: Is you hear about, you know, relationships? I mean I've 469 00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: heard this a lot actually, where people get married because 470 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,439 Speaker 1: they feel like they should and in reality they're like, 471 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,199 Speaker 1: but I'm a gay man, or I want to be 472 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 1: with a woman, not a man, and whatever it is 473 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:30,440 Speaker 1: that you feel like you need to do to normalize 474 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,399 Speaker 1: yourself instead of being able to live in your truth. 475 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,560 Speaker 1: And I just thought that was really interesting. That makes 476 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,000 Speaker 1: me really grateful that the scale is like a lot 477 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: more fluid now, Like I just think that that's actually 478 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,920 Speaker 1: kind of a beautiful thing that we're stopping judging ourselves. 479 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 1: I think that goes for sex as a whole. Do 480 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 1: you feel that, Like, um, I know, I grew up 481 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,880 Speaker 1: in a very like you don't have sex before you're 482 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,199 Speaker 1: married and all of that stuff, and it's taken me 483 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,119 Speaker 1: a long time to accept what like my sexuality is, 484 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 1: and I think it's still like a journey, but the 485 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: more you can be open to not shaming yourself, yeah, 486 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,720 Speaker 1: you know, like it's just a very human feeling. Particularly 487 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,600 Speaker 1: with our friend group, to like the conversation of our 488 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 1: own sexuality has become a little more common, like we're 489 00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 1: talking about it a little bit more freely amongst just 490 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 1: our friends, which is really liberating to Actually I said 491 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 1: something to a friend the other day and they were like, 492 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 1: why have you never told me that? And I was like, 493 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,200 Speaker 1: I'm just saying now, I'm curious. I remember what it was, 494 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: but like it was definitely something that was like about 495 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 1: sex or feelings, something in the like the realm of sexuality. 496 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:39,760 Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know, like I hadn't never 497 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 1: thought to share that, And they're like, why wouldn't you 498 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,160 Speaker 1: tell your friends that? And I think it's because we've 499 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,120 Speaker 1: gotten to a point in our friendships where like we're 500 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:52,840 Speaker 1: openly talking about these things right totally, um. But I 501 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,200 Speaker 1: also like, if I were experiencing something like, my friends 502 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,120 Speaker 1: are the ones that I would go to now, So 503 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,480 Speaker 1: I think that four there was a lot I carried 504 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,600 Speaker 1: a lot more shame. And I don't know if that's 505 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,960 Speaker 1: because that's changed because of the times or because I've 506 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,560 Speaker 1: gotten older and I could give two ships what people think. Well, 507 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,159 Speaker 1: I will say this. I mean, I think this is 508 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 1: part of why I enjoy this doing this podcast, because 509 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 1: I do think there's a lot of like with sex, 510 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: you feel like is this okay to say? Or like 511 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,000 Speaker 1: it's it's so so private, you know, and like I 512 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,160 Speaker 1: think it should remain that way to a certain degree 513 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 1: in a relationship, Like you shouldn't be like, oh my god, 514 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,920 Speaker 1: listen up last night, you know, like every fucking detail 515 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,960 Speaker 1: of your you know, significant other for a long period 516 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 1: of time. Um, now, if you're a one nut stand 517 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 1: that's a whole diver. But like, I do think there's 518 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,960 Speaker 1: some stuff that's like off the table. But I think 519 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: like the normalizing and the sex conversation it's kind of 520 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 1: refreshing to me because none of us really know, Like 521 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,040 Speaker 1: you're all kind of going from your own experience and 522 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:51,040 Speaker 1: you're like is this normal or is this normal? And 523 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 1: we all have our own like trauma around stuff or 524 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 1: relationship experience, and it's like what we're supposed to go 525 00:27:57,840 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 1: figure out? What we're supposed to do in a relationship 526 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:04,359 Speaker 1: from porn, like I mean just and I mean beyond sex, 527 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:08,760 Speaker 1: Like just fucking life is hard. There's no one way 528 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 1: to walk down the street. Like my favorite person to 529 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,639 Speaker 1: listen to My favorite podcast is Dak Shepherd's Armchair Experts. 530 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 1: Excuse me, I mean aside from but what I love 531 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:25,680 Speaker 1: about him is just it is just he bears it all. 532 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 1: He talks about his his journey to sobriety, like all 533 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,600 Speaker 1: the funked up ship he's done in his life, all 534 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,480 Speaker 1: the drugs, like a trouble he's gotten. He talks about 535 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:39,160 Speaker 1: his his marriage very openly, and he shows he's perfectly 536 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,160 Speaker 1: willing to not be a perfect human, which is which 537 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:47,440 Speaker 1: is so refreshing. Yeah, act, so I think, like, you know, 538 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,440 Speaker 1: obviously he's he's interviewing celebrities, so it's not he's not 539 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 1: talking about sex like we are. But um, I just 540 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,800 Speaker 1: I find inspiration in it because I'm like, why not 541 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 1: just say it's on your mind as long as you're 542 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,320 Speaker 1: not like running around insulting people like I'm talking about 543 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 1: like being honest about yourself. Yeah, you know, I think 544 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:12,520 Speaker 1: it's really important and that's something that like this podcast 545 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,560 Speaker 1: is doing for me. Like I'm saying things on this 546 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 1: that I've probably never said before, and I'm kind of like, 547 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:21,000 Speaker 1: so what You're kind of like, I'm not making anybody 548 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,400 Speaker 1: listen to this, you know, it's like people are listening 549 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 1: by choice. So you know, I appreciate anyone who does. 550 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,960 Speaker 1: I hope that they come back. But to me, it's 551 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,800 Speaker 1: a lot more interesting if you and I are sitting 552 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,360 Speaker 1: here being honest with each other and exploring new topics 553 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,080 Speaker 1: like this a man, what would you say to the 554 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,959 Speaker 1: person who's sitting there, like, oh my god, these people 555 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: like Kelly kissed a girl. What I would say, like, 556 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 1: stop judging people. You know, It's like it doesn't you 557 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 1: kissing a girl doesn't have anything to do with anybody 558 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,760 Speaker 1: but you and that girl. True, So that doesn't mean 559 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 1: that like we're recommending running out and kissing a girl. 560 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 1: If you're you're interested in it, then like what I 561 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 1: would say, it's live, just a little live, and everybody's 562 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 1: journey is going to be a little bit different. And 563 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:06,960 Speaker 1: I do I believe that there are like men out 564 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,560 Speaker 1: there that would like literally not touch a dick with 565 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:14,680 Speaker 1: my dick, you know, like it's they they have zero 566 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,360 Speaker 1: interest in it, And I don't think it makes them 567 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,680 Speaker 1: like hate gay people. They just know that that's not 568 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 1: what they are. Um, and I think that there are 569 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 1: there are men out there that will like don't even 570 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,920 Speaker 1: want to see a picture of a vagina. Very true, 571 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,560 Speaker 1: So it just kind of is what it is. Where 572 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 1: do you, I mean, I get a picture of it? 573 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 1: I feel like, what's your response would be? Like, it's 574 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,320 Speaker 1: just like how you were just like, I mean, it's fine, 575 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,959 Speaker 1: But that makes total sense to me because that's kind 576 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: of how I feel about a girl. I'm like, sure, 577 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,840 Speaker 1: like it would feel good, but like at the end 578 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 1: of the day, unfortunately for me, I just need some 579 00:30:56,480 --> 00:31:00,640 Speaker 1: dick totally. Look, I think that like, I mean we've 580 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,920 Speaker 1: talked about like before play being like that's them. I 581 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 1: could make out with a girl. I don't know that 582 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 1: I would want to have sex at this point. I mean, 583 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,280 Speaker 1: that's the sensuality and like the fun of things, like 584 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,239 Speaker 1: I could do that, but I don't know that I'm 585 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,760 Speaker 1: interested in like having sex with women ever. Again. Oh well, okay, 586 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,600 Speaker 1: Well with that said, I love to hear like I 587 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,160 Speaker 1: know that you posted today, so you have a small 588 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,400 Speaker 1: window for response, but I'm still getting responses and I 589 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:32,440 Speaker 1: hate like, I'm like dudes, like dudes, you know what's 590 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 1: so interesting? Like we Actually I'm really excited about this. Um. 591 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,000 Speaker 1: I interviewed this guy, John Roe last week and he 592 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,160 Speaker 1: was like, I want to do that casual podcast. And 593 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,840 Speaker 1: so I'm reading his book right now because apparently he 594 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:47,040 Speaker 1: had some whatever, he's had some cocaine lesbian type days, 595 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: and so he's gonna come on that casual in a 596 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 1: couple of weeks and we're just gonna talk all things 597 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,600 Speaker 1: like crazy sex stories and just how you get your 598 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,320 Speaker 1: life back together and all that stuff. And um, he's 599 00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,280 Speaker 1: the first guy who's been willing to be and like, 600 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:05,120 Speaker 1: men are so much slower to open up about this ship. 601 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:11,040 Speaker 1: We have had some cool responses from men, you right, 602 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 1: and a couple of married men, which gives me so 603 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:18,640 Speaker 1: much insight. I love it too. If you're a guy listening, seriously, 604 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:20,760 Speaker 1: slide into my d m s with your questions, with 605 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:23,840 Speaker 1: your stories, UM or email us at at casual at 606 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 1: velvets sedge dot com because I do well. Also, I 607 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 1: have a heavy, you know, like following of women, so 608 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,080 Speaker 1: I think that's probably another part of the thing. But 609 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,480 Speaker 1: I'm just curious I'm curious if there's any guys out 610 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 1: there the listening that like have dabbled but identify as straight, 611 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,120 Speaker 1: like they're married, happy, whatever. Dating. I will say this, 612 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,640 Speaker 1: I dated a guy. Um this was also back in 613 00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 1: my twenties, and he was a lot older than me, 614 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,960 Speaker 1: and he said there was a drug thing for him too, 615 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:55,280 Speaker 1: but he was on drugs or something. And the guy 616 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,400 Speaker 1: that he was with was like in love with him, 617 00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,640 Speaker 1: but it was like one of his gay best friends. 618 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 1: And they eight out one night and I remember it 619 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,000 Speaker 1: was so weird in me because I had done the 620 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:07,320 Speaker 1: same thing. But I remember being like, wait, what, like 621 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,480 Speaker 1: it confused me, and he was you know, he's a musician, 622 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:14,640 Speaker 1: so he was very like just like creative type. Like 623 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,440 Speaker 1: it wasn't like he was some like athlete farm man, 624 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 1: you know, like the masculine thing I was talking about earlier. 625 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,480 Speaker 1: Not that you can't be, but like I love a 626 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:27,120 Speaker 1: gay farmer. Got a gay farmer does sound hot? Um No, 627 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:28,800 Speaker 1: But I think it was just like I kind of 628 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: went in my head and I was like, well, you know, 629 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:34,080 Speaker 1: these creative types. But he's now he's been with his 630 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,680 Speaker 1: his wife I think for years, and I never thought 631 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,520 Speaker 1: he was gay with me. So I don't know, but 632 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,440 Speaker 1: I don't know why it would be acceptable in my 633 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 1: head for me to do not him to do. I 634 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:48,240 Speaker 1: think I think that's societal stuff. That was, like you 635 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,920 Speaker 1: didn't realize you bought into it because you'd never have 636 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,400 Speaker 1: You hadn't been forced to think about it until you were, Like, wait, 637 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 1: you made out with a guy. I haven't had to 638 00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:59,840 Speaker 1: think about But society had been telling you that any 639 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:01,920 Speaker 1: that kisses a guy or makes out with a dude 640 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:06,200 Speaker 1: in any sort of way is gay. Maybe you just 641 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,359 Speaker 1: maybe he needed to be certain. I haven't watched it yet, 642 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,920 Speaker 1: but my friends are obsessed with um this new Netflix 643 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:17,760 Speaker 1: show called Love on the Spectrum and it's about dating 644 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,480 Speaker 1: while being on the autism spectrum. Like everyone on the 645 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:24,080 Speaker 1: show is has some level of autism. And I haven't 646 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,040 Speaker 1: watched it yet, but like, I'm want to text thread 647 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,799 Speaker 1: with friends that are obsessed with it, like they they 648 00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:31,080 Speaker 1: finished it in two nights, and I guess one of 649 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: the male characters was like, I thought I was gay, 650 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:37,920 Speaker 1: so I watched some gay porn, you know, like just 651 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:42,400 Speaker 1: because he I'm assuming was trying to process the emotions 652 00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,400 Speaker 1: and stuff that he was feeling. So he had to 653 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,160 Speaker 1: explore somehow, and I think sometimes you have to do 654 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,839 Speaker 1: that because you don't know what you want. I don't 655 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:55,399 Speaker 1: think so interesting. Yeah yeah, I mean that's he's dealing 656 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:59,720 Speaker 1: with things that, like, you know, most of the population 657 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 1: don't deal with. So I'll have to watch it though, 658 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,719 Speaker 1: because it sounds amazing. Yeah, love on the spectrum, Love 659 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:08,799 Speaker 1: on the spectrum. Okay, well that's all the spectrum spating one, 660 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,800 Speaker 1: I mean, multiple spectrums. It sounds like this is that 661 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:15,000 Speaker 1: maybe this is the new thing, the sexual spectrum. I 662 00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:19,480 Speaker 1: think it is apparently according to articles about the younger generations. 663 00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:23,320 Speaker 1: So look, it's funny too because I feel like, even 664 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,399 Speaker 1: though that is a major step towards not putting people 665 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,880 Speaker 1: in boxes, we as humans still feel like we need 666 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:34,839 Speaker 1: to identify everything about it. Like a shocked myself, right, Yeah, 667 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:38,360 Speaker 1: it's like, okay, well, we can recognize that sexuality is 668 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,719 Speaker 1: a spectrum that goes from zero to a hundred, but 669 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:44,440 Speaker 1: we have to call one something to the other side 670 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 1: is why can't we just say I'm sexual, like this 671 00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,719 Speaker 1: is I do this and I do that, Like why 672 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:52,759 Speaker 1: does it have to happen? Also, my question is because 673 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,400 Speaker 1: like I would say, all the time, Like, I'm just like, 674 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,440 Speaker 1: I'm not attracted to women. But what if I ever 675 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,400 Speaker 1: saw a woman and I was like, I'm attracted to her, 676 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,680 Speaker 1: does that make me gay or would that be like 677 00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:04,440 Speaker 1: like that. I wonder if it's like we start talking 678 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,480 Speaker 1: in terms of gay, not gay and straight, but like 679 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:10,400 Speaker 1: I'm attracted to this type and that type, Like it 680 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,719 Speaker 1: doesn't why does it have to be a gender? Yeah, 681 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:14,759 Speaker 1: Like it's well, I don't even know that needs to 682 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,120 Speaker 1: be a type. I think it needs to be about 683 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,279 Speaker 1: the person. Like it's been to a dinner where like 684 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,440 Speaker 1: your friend brings a friend and you leave and you're like, 685 00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:25,680 Speaker 1: oh my god, like what was going on there? Like 686 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,920 Speaker 1: you just that you know, and it might not mean 687 00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,960 Speaker 1: that you you want to bang them. It means that 688 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:34,080 Speaker 1: you were just like really drawn to them. So I 689 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:38,640 Speaker 1: think it's well, you know, again, we've as historically wanted 690 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,239 Speaker 1: to put everything in a box, and I don't think 691 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,440 Speaker 1: I think we're so much more complicated than that. So 692 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,759 Speaker 1: I love to see that these barriers are being broken down. 693 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,760 Speaker 1: But I find it's so interesting that in the breakdown, 694 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,720 Speaker 1: we're still putting up smaller barriers and we're like trying 695 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,279 Speaker 1: to put more barriers often do so. I think I've 696 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,120 Speaker 1: said it multiple times in this podcast. I wish I 697 00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,200 Speaker 1: was a lesbian because I get so bad at mid 698 00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:01,560 Speaker 1: you don't. It's funny, it is. I feel like the 699 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,600 Speaker 1: grass is always great in my life. I'm sure I 700 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,560 Speaker 1: would end up in relationships with women who were exactly 701 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,400 Speaker 1: like the guys I date, and I'll bump up it 702 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,879 Speaker 1: gets myself in the exact same way. But in my head, 703 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:14,640 Speaker 1: when I sit with my girlfriends who are so fucking amazing, 704 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,359 Speaker 1: I'm like, God, why can't I date you? You would 705 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,799 Speaker 1: be the best part. The part is you do get 706 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:21,440 Speaker 1: to date them, you just don't have to fuck them. 707 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,360 Speaker 1: I mean, that's true. I guess I think the second 708 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,200 Speaker 1: sex gets involved is when it gets complicated. I'm never 709 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,759 Speaker 1: going to have sex with any of them. Yeah, don't 710 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 1: do it, no matter how fluid on this spectrum, no 711 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,359 Speaker 1: matter how much blow anyone gives me. I'm just kidding, guys, 712 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,800 Speaker 1: I don't do drugs anymore. Okay, that was, and we 713 00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 1: don't condone it, you know, I actually don't like. I 714 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,520 Speaker 1: went through a really dark phase in my life, So 715 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,040 Speaker 1: I'll tell I'll write a book about that one day 716 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:52,440 Speaker 1: or something. But anyway, I was like I was saying, 717 00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,640 Speaker 1: we I think our point is, as it always is, 718 00:37:56,239 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 1: is fine, what's right for you and figure that out 719 00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:03,439 Speaker 1: without the judgment of others and live in that, living 720 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,960 Speaker 1: that truth, and stop judging yourself so much. Do you 721 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,759 Speaker 1: think so? I think so. If you dabble and hook 722 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,440 Speaker 1: up with a person in the same sex doesn't make 723 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:14,120 Speaker 1: you gay, No, not at all. You're just on this 724 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,640 Speaker 1: unless you're gay. I'm not. When you discover that you 725 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,520 Speaker 1: those are your real feelings, all right. So because there 726 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,320 Speaker 1: is always that first time that's true, well you that 727 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,279 Speaker 1: you said your first time you were like, yep, I 728 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:28,880 Speaker 1: am gay. Well you guys, continue to live your lives. 729 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,239 Speaker 1: We hope that we answered this question for you. Thank 730 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:34,040 Speaker 1: you for all the feedback. Keep it coming to act 731 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,480 Speaker 1: casual at velvet's dot com, where you can slide into 732 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,320 Speaker 1: my d M s on at Velvet's Edge, Chip is 733 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:43,440 Speaker 1: at chip doorsh on Instagram, so follow us and always 734 00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:49,360 Speaker 1: remember too a casual get mailed it this week. Bye