WEBVTT - Touchdown Pass 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:05.160 Hell I Suck a Dating with me and Dared Haven 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:10.680 and I heard radio podcast. Hey, welcome back to help 0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:13.720 I Suck at Dating. We'll not welcome back. I guess 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:15.640 this is the beginning of an all new episode of 0:00:15.680 --> 0:00:18.200 Help I Second Dating. I'm Jared Haven, of course, joined 0:00:18.200 --> 0:00:21.200 by Dean Angler, once again recording in the van just 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:23.279 the way we all like it. And we have a 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:25.479 very special guest who's currently on the line with us 0:00:25.560 --> 0:00:27.480 right now, right off the bat. You know her from 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:32.560 Nick Viole season of The Bachelor. It is Elizabeth Sandoz. Uh, Liz, 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:34.479 how are you doing? Long time, no see and O 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:36.960 I'm good. I feel like so much has happened in 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:43.040 everybody's lives over the last few years. Yeah, no kidding, Well, congratulations, 0:00:43.080 --> 0:00:44.800 thank you very much. As you can see, my wife 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:46.800 just decides to come in and out of the room 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:52.200 while recording, so rude. But Liz, how are you doing? 0:00:52.240 --> 0:00:54.480 I mean, you know, obviously a lot of people who 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:56.680 listening to this podcast know you from the Bachelor franchise. 0:00:56.760 --> 0:01:00.000 You were on Nick season. Uh, you had the storyline 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:02.920 that you and Nick had met beforehand at Jane Tanner's wedding. 0:01:03.520 --> 0:01:06.360 But how are you doing? Since hand. Great. I mean, 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:09.759 I it was really weird because like right when that 0:01:10.280 --> 0:01:12.520 started airing is when I met, like, well, not when 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:14.959 I met when I started dating my now husband, so 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:18.039 that like season started coming out when we started dating, 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:19.920 and then his whole family just got to see the 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:22.000 bachelor version of me. And I'm, like I said, I'm 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:25.000 not crazy, like get to know the real me. But um, 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:27.199 and I mean it obviously end up working out. I 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:30.040 got married and I had my first kid, uh six 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:34.240 months ago, and um, you know, gratulations, thank you, and 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:37.160 now I'm just doing a lot of the duelas stuff. 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:39.319 I found an awesome job here at a hospital in 0:01:39.360 --> 0:01:41.400 Chicago where I get to work as a duela with 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:45.400 an awesome midwife group and along other nurses and doulas. 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:48.280 So just I feel like I'm following my passion, which 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:54.280 is awesome. So what is six months ago? Yeah? Six 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.840 months ago? Gotcha? Well? Hey, as it, as it turns out, 0:01:56.960 --> 0:01:59.440 Jared and actually are actually working on having a kid 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:04.040 for themselves. Yes we are. So, Liz as a now expert, 0:02:04.120 --> 0:02:06.600 because you know you've done it before, what kind of 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:09.960 advice would you have for Jared and Ashley? Oh my gosh, 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:13.200 I mean so much. It depends on what they're looking for. Um, 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:16.520 but I mean, you know a human would be first 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:22.040 and foremost. Just yeah there, I mean, it changes your life. 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:25.880 It's so crazy. I was like, literally today was the 0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:28.919 first time that I got to experience my daughter throwing 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:32.440 up in my mouth, and then good god, right, I know, 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:35.480 and then my dog eating her poopy diaper. So I'm like, 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:38.360 oh my gosh, this is motherhood. Like there's just things 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:42.239 that you'll never be prepared for, but there's also things 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:44.120 you can do to help prepare you to make that 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:47.320 transition a little bit smoother for sure. How grossed out 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:49.120 do you get? Do you get grossed out of your 0:02:49.160 --> 0:02:52.080 kids own poop and vomit? Yeah? I Um, I have 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:57.880 these really loud, obnoxious gag attacks, which my husband finds hilarious. Um, Like, 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:01.360 they're obnoxious and I can't control them. So I'm just 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:03.960 really nervous because she's starting to eat solid foods, which 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:07.760 means her poops are going to be really disgusting. Um. 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:09.640 So that's I don't know how I'm going to do it. 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:11.480 How do you say, does it? I thought baby poop 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:15.520 smells worse than regular poop. No, that's a myth that 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:18.960 I believed in all this time in my on this world. Yeah, 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:22.160 the first poop that, Um, I love how we're starting 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:25.400 the conversation with poop. Hey, that's an important question, you know, 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:28.040 Like honestly, whenever I talk about having kids, like one 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:30.520 of the first things people talk about, or like changing 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:33.400 diapers and just how yeah, oh you're gonna be You're 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:36.720 just gonna be surrounded by vomit and poop and dirt 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:39.640 all the time. It's like, okay, cool, looking forward to that. 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:42.680 The breastfeeding formula poops aren't that bad. It's when they 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:45.800 start eating solids. It's like it'd be it's like a 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:48.840 real human, grown up poop just in a diaper, and 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:53.840 it's disgusting it. What about Liz, So Jared obviously has 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:55.680 to have the baby for any of the stuff could happen. 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:58.600 What kind of advice would you have for him to 0:03:58.600 --> 0:04:04.320 help conceive the child? Yes, Um, so you're in the 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:07.080 fun part now, right, trying to have a baby For 0:04:07.120 --> 0:04:09.960 the most part. Sometimes it's not that fun. Sometimes it 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:12.120 is work. You're like, okay, we have to do it 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:16.320 right now. Yeah, that is really hard. Um, But I 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:18.360 mean the advice would be to try to have fun 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:21.600 with it, because these are the last moments that you 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:24.120 guys are going to get with just you two, and 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:26.800 that is going to change once you have a kid. 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:29.280 You know, even if you get a night out away 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:32.159 with Ashley, you know, you get a week in a way, 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:34.440 you're still gonna be thinking and worrying about your kids. 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:37.680 So these are going to be the last moments of 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:41.880 you enjoying just each other. So try to like really 0:04:42.440 --> 0:04:44.400 enjoy as much as it gets stressful and you're trying 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:45.880 to be like, Okay, we need to do it right 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:48.320 now because I'm ovulating and we need to make a baby, 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:51.240 and this is our window of opportunity, you know, so 0:04:51.800 --> 0:04:54.080 who cares. Let's you know, we don't need to kiss, 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:57.800 let's just get it done with. We still kiss, but 0:04:57.880 --> 0:05:01.000 you know, it's definitely like I feel it's it's so 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:03.840 weird to even talk about like sex while trying to conceive, 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:07.720 because it's like, you know, you're like, okay, let's let's 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:09.520 do it. We gotta do it right now, and let's 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:12.120 just get it done and and then that's in my head. 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:14.560 So it makes it increasingly worse. As Dean can attest 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:16.279 to when you have all this pressure on you to 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:18.320 be like Okay, you gotta like let's go, let's go, 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:20.920 let's go. It's like, wait a second, how can I 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:24.480 attest to that, because well, as a guy sometimes when 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:26.560 you I'm sure it's very similar to being a female, 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:28.800 But I can only talk about my own experience as 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:30.560 being a guy. When you think about something like that 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:33.479 too much, like oh no, like I'm either lasting too 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:35.880 long or it's not lasting long enough. Like you, you 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:38.960 overthink things and then you immediately lose it. I don't 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:40.720 know that's what happens with me. I just need to 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:44.760 make a baby. Yeah, how did that? How did that 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:46.280 work for you and your husband? And obviously if you 0:05:46.320 --> 0:05:48.080 don't feel like talking about it, but you have no 0:05:48.160 --> 0:05:51.320 obligation to whatsoever. But was it like was it a 0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:53.400 similar situation in Jared and actually where they're planning and 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:55.280 trying and all that stuff, or was it just like 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:57.440 we'll just keep doing it or doing and if it happens, great, 0:05:57.440 --> 0:06:00.359 If not, we try to keep that mentality of like 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:04.880 if it happens, just because I think working as a duela, 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:07.480 I see the stress that it can create, and so 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:10.800 we're like, all right, let's it. Actually, we weren't even 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:14.279 planning on trying yet, but then my husband's grandma passed 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:15.880 away and we were at the funeral and all the 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:17.800 family was together, and we're like, man, this is what 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:20.040 we want, like we want to be surrounded by family, Like, 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:23.640 let's just stop preventing and start trying and we'll see 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:27.720 what happens. And um, you know it was we tried 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:30.839 to just let it happened. Although I could just save, 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.560 like from the female side, it's hard, like even though 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:36.440 he I wasn't telling him like, hey, I'm ovulating right now, 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:39.200 whatever I was tracking. So then I'm like, hey, like, 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:42.480 let's you know, you wanna you know, trying to like 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:47.440 plan my obulation. I'm going to slip into something more comfortable, right, Although, 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:50.560 like he you know, we were trying not to get 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:52.440 too stressed, but I know that as it goes on, 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:55.400 it does get stressful. Um. So I think that that 0:06:55.440 --> 0:06:57.360 advice is really hard to give. The people are like, hey, 0:06:57.400 --> 0:07:00.599 don't worry about it. It's like okay, you know, but 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:02.400 a lot easier said than done, just like a lot 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:04.320 of things in life her, right, So I would just say, like, 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:07.080 just make sure that you guys, are really enjoying yourself together, 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:10.640 because once she does get pregnant, um, you never know 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:13.960 how that pregnancy could affect her. Like everybody is so different. 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:16.080 You could be the healthiest person in the world and 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:19.240 do everything right and feel so shitty during pregnancy to 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:21.240 be throwing up all the time and be horrible, or 0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:23.880 you could be like a junk food freak and feel 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:27.880 great throughout your pregnancies. So once she gets pregnant, like 0:07:27.960 --> 0:07:30.760 everything already kind of starts to change a little bit. 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:33.640 So I would just try to like really enjoy what 0:07:33.720 --> 0:07:36.880 you have now. Well, Liz, I feel like we could 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:39.840 talk to you all day. Unfortunately, our time is up. 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:42.600 Everybody listening right now. Make sure you go check out 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:47.000 Liz's podcast. You've had this podcast for many years. Miraculous mamas. Um, 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:48.840 everybody go check that out. You can go get that 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:52.640 wherever you get your podcast, Apple Podcasts, all that good stuff. Um, Liz, 0:07:52.680 --> 0:07:54.440 you have to come back because this was not enough 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:56.720 time with you. Yeah, I'd love to talk more about 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:58.600 doula stuff with you, if you guys ever want to 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:00.680 hear that and more. What is a doula? Actually, just 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:03.400 very quickly because I have no idea the part of 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:12.000 your brain that controls anger. Not anger, but no doula. Basically, 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:15.280 we partner alongside you to help you throughout your birthday experience. 0:08:15.320 --> 0:08:20.000 So before, during, and after we provide emotional comfort, physical 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:23.280 support throughout labor and delivery, and informational support. So we're 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:26.240 the only constant that's with you from beginning to end. 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:28.480 Your doctor, midwife's nurses have to kind of come and go, 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:31.120 but we're with with you the entire time. And there's 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:35.199 awesome research and statistics that show why doulas are freaking amazing, 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:38.199 so everyone should get one. Well, yeah, let's have you 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:39.640 back and talk about it more. I'm not for that. 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:42.800 It sounds good to me, all right, absolutely, thanks for 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:44.160 joining us. It sounds like you've got some work to 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:47.080 do too, though, so yeah, thanks so much for having 0:08:47.160 --> 0:09:01.040 me on. See you list by list. All right, welcome 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:04.040 back to our Heart Radios podcast, Help I Suck at 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:07.680 Dating Dean myself still here. We have very such special 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:11.120 guests who zooming in right now. He is a linebacker 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:14.120 from the NFL for the Baltimore Ravens who actually, if 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:16.720 I'm pretty sure, is a free agent right now, so 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:19.000 we'll see where he ends up. It is Matthew Judan. 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:20.880 Matthew said, thank you so much for joining us on 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:24.480 the podcast today. Thank you all for having me. Man. 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:27.959 I'm glad y'all think I'm good enough at dating to 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:30.360 come and land some advice and all that good stuff. 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:35.400 Well you're you're a new parent, congratulations. No no, no, no, no, 0:09:36.080 --> 0:09:40.920 you just had you just had a baby. Yeah, yeah, 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:44.760 he's one and then, uh I was not five years ago, 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:48.680 but now I'm true that is yeah. So how are 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:51.120 you doing? How's parent life? How are you? How's everything going? 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:54.720 Parent life is kind of? Parent life is good. It's 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:59.240 it's funny. Uh uh. So I was a single dad? 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:05.120 Is we this whole week? Because my wife took Leo, 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:10.679 which is my youngest, when she went to Miami with 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:13.079 her sisters and some friends. You know, they had a 0:10:13.080 --> 0:10:16.320 little girl trip and it was good for me to 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:20.120 just be alone by myself. So I was along with 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.520 the Naya and she was telling me like the funniest 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:26.720 craziest stuff and I'm like, dang, like you're kind of 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:31.200 really smart, like you're getting older and it's just crazy 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:35.400 to watch her from you know, like videos pop up 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:39.400 on your phone of of her like barely walking, barely talking, 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:42.080 you still got pictures and stuff, and you're like, man, 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:45.160 I still remember you as this little kid, and now 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:47.640 I kind of feel like how my parents feel. And 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:50.480 now I want to go back and see my mom 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:53.040 and my parents. And you know, I haven't seen them 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:55.599 since the COVID and stuff because they lived in Michigan. 0:10:55.840 --> 0:10:59.439 I was in Maryland. So being a parent just makes 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:02.240 you understand and your parents a little bit more and 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:05.880 it makes you appreciate, you know, your kids a little 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:08.400 bit more, even though you know you love and adored 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:11.480 them and give them the world. But you're just like, dang, 0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:14.160 this is what my mom sees out of me or 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:17.680 my dad's seeing out of me. So, uh, parent life 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:20.079 is it's good, man. It puts a lot of stuff 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.960 in perspective for you. Man, I'm I'm hoping you can 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:25.000 help us out. So before we had John here, we 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:27.959 were just talking to Jared about how he and his 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:31.480 wife are working on on having their first child. Sounds 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:33.480 like you've done it a couple of times already, So 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:36.120 what kind of advice would you have for for Jared 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:37.920 or just for anyone really that's trying to have a 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:40.719 kid that you know. Uh, not that they've been unsuccessful 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:44.000 so far, but just like, is there any type of 0:11:44.000 --> 0:11:46.360 tips that you have kind of going into it for him? 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:49.559 All right, well, first, first of all, jokingly, you gotta 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:53.200 you gotta practice by yourself and swing it around in 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:56.920 the mirror. That's how you get the good ones. But 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:59.800 but honestly, don't make it a job. I think everybody'd 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:02.400 be like, are well, we want to have a baby. 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:04.920 We got to do it on these days and these days, 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:06.840 and this is how we got to do it. And 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:11.320 I'm ovulating right here, you know, still be in that 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:17.040 relationship and still have those moments of vulnerability and and 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:21.120 have fun, you know, because that's what y'all was doing. 0:12:21.720 --> 0:12:23.520 I don't know when you met your wife, but maybe 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:28.480 from college on and and now instead of it being 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:31.800 an intimate time, it turned into like we gotta do 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:37.320 it now at six thirty, uh, in this position, uh 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:41.280 with with with no light like you know, you know, 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:44.440 just just don't turn it. Don't turn it into that. 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:48.480 Just be like, all right, well now we're ready to 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:53.760 have a child in our world. And if that happens, okay, 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:57.160 we're ready for it. But don't make the act of 0:12:57.240 --> 0:13:01.240 having a child a job. Uh, to take the fun 0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:03.040 out of it, you man, you gotta keep it fun, 0:13:03.520 --> 0:13:08.200 lighthearted and you know, always always like spruce us up, 0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:11.280 do something. You know, you never do that from from 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:14.679 the man himself. That's what we're trying to do. Sometimes, 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:18.080 like because we're about four or five months into actively trying, 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:21.360 so sometimes you know, it feels a little bit more 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:24.280 like a job than it should. So I totally agree. 0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:26.920 We we do things to have fun. Of course. Look look, 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:30.360 I mean, look after this podcast and you're done, go 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:34.000 to you know, go to a local beauty supply, get 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:37.880 you like a wig. Go then go get you like 0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:43.320 some short shorts and you know, surpriser, you know, at 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:46.040 four o'clock in the afternoon tomorrow with the wig and 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:50.080 some short shorts and see see if that times are wrong? 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:53.760 All right? I mean, hey, why not try something different? Yeah, 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:56.800 didn't get to it, man, then, and then you know 0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:59.720 that that might be a story you tell y'all, A 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:03.640 little man a little woman when she comes a babe like, man, 0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:05.560 I gotta ask, are you speaking of experience with that 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:10.600 method or man? You you know my girl, my girl 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:12.720 likes some stuff. Man, I can't be telling ya all 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:17.080 the you know what, I'm talking some gyms. I think 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:18.600 I think a lot of people are listening right now, 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:21.720 you know, trying to maybe understand good ways to spruce 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:24.480 it up. I'm not saying, you know, uh that you 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:26.080 need to kind of wrap your wife out or anything 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:27.560 like that, but it's a it's a good advice at 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:30.800 the end of the day. Yeah. Yeah, it's all advice. 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:33.960 And we all do stuff differently, and maybe you just 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:37.400 haven't tried that, you know, or or maybe you A 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:41.680 lot of people like don't talk about sets and they 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:44.920 just they kind of have it and they have those 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:48.320 intimate moments, but they like, outside of those moments, it's 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:51.120 kind of taboo, and you know, they don't they don't 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:54.760 talk about it if the lights are on, Like, okay, 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:57.560 let's talk about this thing. Like, let's let's really find 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:01.160 out what's your interests a are, you know, if we 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:03.600 if we're married and were partners, Let let me find 0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:06.160 out what your real interests are and what you actually 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:09.640 like to do. Because maybe I'm not, you know, because 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:11.600 I know what I like and I'm gonna get what 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:16.080 I like off, but maybe I'm not you know, fully 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:20.640 get into what you like to do and so so 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:23.640 and d and vice versa. Maybe it's something you might 0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:26.120 want your girl to do that she not might not, 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:30.400 might not know that you like, and she might be 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:34.920 willing to try, but you just never talked to her about. Yeah, 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:36.480 that's a that's a big thing. We talked about a 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:38.600 lot on this podcast to his communication. Because you're right, 0:15:38.600 --> 0:15:41.200 I feel like, especially right like, when you're younger, you're 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:43.440 always just kind of focused on yourself doing what you like, 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:45.280 and then you get older and you're like, wait a second, 0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:47.600 there's someone else here with me. Maybe I should ask 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:49.440 them what they like and what they want me to 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:54.760 do for them exactly. Yeah, yeah, I agree. You gotta 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:57.760 have that conversation. Man. It's just especially as Matt Matt 0:15:57.760 --> 0:15:59.440 and and you know Dean you can attest to you've 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:01.800 been in a long term relationship. It's just, you know, 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:04.160 you gotta spice things up every once in a while, 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:06.080 you gotta change things up, and if you don't talk 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:10.480 about it, it's never gonna change. Exactly. But Matthew, how long? 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:13.920 So how long have you been married? We're going on 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:17.560 three years? Congratulations. How did you How did you guys meet? 0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:23.160 We we met on tender, very nice and how long 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.720 it was. It was young tender though. It was like 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:29.880 when it first came out, and uh, and I was, 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.600 I was in college, I just had got out of 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:36.440 out of relationship and uh, you know, I was just 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:40.320 swiping right if you mean she swiped right? And then 0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:45.480 uh we met. We met like she she she if 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:47.360 she telling your story. She was like, I didn't want 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:49.920 to meet you at first, and I was like, I 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:53.120 was like, man, damn, well, why why didn't you want 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:56.760 to meet you? Like I was, you know, I was 0:16:56.800 --> 0:16:59.600 an athlete and she didn't want to be like you me. 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:03.680 We get we get bad reps because we're athletes, and 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:09.040 not too many good athletes stories get told. Is only 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:14.520 the bad ones about all the bad you know, stuff 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:18.840 that athletes might do. And then she was like, I 0:17:18.920 --> 0:17:21.680 don't know if I wanted to go down that road. Uh, 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:25.880 you know, Luckily for her she did and we went 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:31.359 through it. But so our first our first, our first 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:36.359 time meeting, we were supposed like the start the story off, 0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:39.840 I got nine brothers and sisters and I was I 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.920 was in college two and a half hours away from it, 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:46.080 and sometimes they just pop up on my doorsteps, like 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:49.840 not telling me. So the first time we go out, 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:52.680 you know, we've been kind of texting back and forth, 0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:54.679 and she's like, no, I don't know. And I was like, 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:57.160 all right, it's cool. It's like kindn't heard no before. 0:17:57.200 --> 0:17:59.720 It's all right. And then she was like, well, maybe 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:03.200 I'm neat you out. And then so she I didn't 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:05.359 have a car and callage my first car I got 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:08.960 when I got to the NFL. Uh, so I have 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:10.679 a car. So she was supposed to come pick me 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:14.040 up and we was gonna go to the movies because 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:17.320 Uber wasn't like a big thing yet. So well, so 0:18:17.480 --> 0:18:20.679 she was coming to pick me up. Like twenty minutes 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:23.640 before she came pick me up, my two older brothers 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:27.639 walked in the crew. They walked in the crib. I'm like, 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:29.800 what are y'all doing here? Was like, man, we just 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:33.480 came down here for the weekend. You're not You're not 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:36.680 gonna call me or nothing. Man, you'ren'ta be You're gonna 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:40.240 be doing nothing. So like the first time she came, 0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:42.119 I had to cancel. Like that day, I was like, 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:43.880 I'm not about to leave my brothers at my house 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:47.320 by myself, so you can come and like hang out 0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:50.679 with us and stuff, and so she just she she 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:52.879 was real chill about it. Man. She came over, she 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:56.359 hung out with us. Uh, she was real cool. We 0:18:56.440 --> 0:18:58.960 had a good time, and then you know, the rest 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:04.040 is history. And so you know now she's uh, she's uh, 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:07.240 she got my last name. So when did you know 0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:09.719 she was the one? A lot of people who you know, 0:19:09.800 --> 0:19:12.560 email us or ask us, how do you guys know 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:18.480 when that person is the one? Uh? Just just do 0:19:19.080 --> 0:19:26.520 hanging out and uh and and just dang, that's a 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:29.520 hard question. It really is, like I don't think. I 0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:33.320 don't think. Uh, I don't think you really know when 0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:36.440 the one is. But you're like, you're like, I can 0:19:36.480 --> 0:19:39.679 see myself during the rest of my life with this person, 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:43.920 and people put too much in it is just the one? 0:19:44.080 --> 0:19:47.040 Or is it another one out there for me? Like 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:51.080 you can you can find anybody and make them the 0:19:51.119 --> 0:19:55.879 one and try to like put them in a certain parameter, 0:19:56.119 --> 0:19:59.560 asked the one or she has it all or he 0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:05.080 has at all. But I found myself through her characteristics, 0:20:05.200 --> 0:20:08.000 through the things that we went through in life, knowing 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:10.240 that I could spend the rest of my life with 0:20:10.320 --> 0:20:15.399 this woman and be a okay with that, and so 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:18.679 that's that's when I knew. And it was you know 0:20:18.960 --> 0:20:21.760 when when I met her. When I met her, it 0:20:21.840 --> 0:20:25.320 wasn't like I was gonna be uh all star athlete. 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:29.720 I went to a Division two school in Western Michigan 0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:35.520 and uh, and the first year we actually started talking, 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:38.360 I told my a c L. So it wasn't like 0:20:38.600 --> 0:20:43.120 Judai was on the road road to greatness then like athletics. 0:20:43.760 --> 0:20:47.760 But she she stuck by me. She was there even 0:20:47.800 --> 0:20:52.560 though even though, like even when after I got our serge, 0:20:52.720 --> 0:20:54.399 I was like, I don't even want you close to me. 0:20:54.600 --> 0:20:56.280 I don't want to be like next to my mom. 0:20:56.400 --> 0:20:59.159 Like I was hurt, you know, because I had I 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:02.520 had this laying in my head, like how how my 0:21:02.600 --> 0:21:05.160 career was gonna go. And so she was like, Okay, 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:07.800 I understand. If you ever need me, just let me know. 0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:10.800 And she was she was cool about everything. And how 0:21:12.080 --> 0:21:15.040 you know, my my first year in the league, I 0:21:15.119 --> 0:21:18.399 was like like this when she she knew she wanted 0:21:18.400 --> 0:21:21.720 to marry me, but but like I wasn't like going 0:21:21.800 --> 0:21:25.280 home for marriage yet. And my first year in the NFL, 0:21:26.520 --> 0:21:29.000 I was like I didn't know how it was gonna 0:21:29.000 --> 0:21:31.400