Speaker 1: Hell I Suck a Dating with me and Dared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast. Hey, welcome back to help
Speaker 1: I Suck at Dating. We'll not welcome back. I guess
Speaker 1: this is the beginning of an all new episode of
Speaker 1: Help I Second Dating. I'm Jared Haven, of course, joined
Speaker 1: by Dean Angler, once again recording in the van just
Speaker 1: the way we all like it. And we have a
Speaker 1: very special guest who's currently on the line with us
Speaker 1: right now, right off the bat. You know her from
Speaker 1: Nick Viole season of The Bachelor. It is Elizabeth Sandoz. Uh, Liz,
Speaker 1: how are you doing? Long time, no see and O
Speaker 1: I'm good. I feel like so much has happened in
Speaker 1: everybody's lives over the last few years. Yeah, no kidding, Well, congratulations,
Speaker 1: thank you very much. As you can see, my wife
Speaker 1: just decides to come in and out of the room
Speaker 1: while recording, so rude. But Liz, how are you doing?
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, obviously a lot of people who
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast know you from the Bachelor franchise.
Speaker 1: You were on Nick season. Uh, you had the storyline
Speaker 1: that you and Nick had met beforehand at Jane Tanner's wedding.
Speaker 1: But how are you doing? Since hand. Great. I mean,
Speaker 1: I it was really weird because like right when that
Speaker 1: started airing is when I met, like, well, not when
Speaker 1: I met when I started dating my now husband, so
Speaker 1: that like season started coming out when we started dating,
Speaker 1: and then his whole family just got to see the
Speaker 1: bachelor version of me. And I'm, like I said, I'm
Speaker 1: not crazy, like get to know the real me. But um,
Speaker 1: and I mean it obviously end up working out. I
Speaker 1: got married and I had my first kid, uh six
Speaker 1: months ago, and um, you know, gratulations, thank you, and
Speaker 1: now I'm just doing a lot of the duelas stuff.
Speaker 1: I found an awesome job here at a hospital in
Speaker 1: Chicago where I get to work as a duela with
Speaker 1: an awesome midwife group and along other nurses and doulas.
Speaker 1: So just I feel like I'm following my passion, which
Speaker 1: is awesome. So what is six months ago? Yeah? Six
Speaker 1: months ago? Gotcha? Well? Hey, as it, as it turns out,
Speaker 1: Jared and actually are actually working on having a kid
Speaker 1: for themselves. Yes we are. So, Liz as a now expert,
Speaker 1: because you know you've done it before, what kind of
Speaker 1: advice would you have for Jared and Ashley? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I mean so much. It depends on what they're looking for. Um,
Speaker 1: but I mean, you know a human would be first
Speaker 1: and foremost. Just yeah there, I mean, it changes your life.
Speaker 1: It's so crazy. I was like, literally today was the
Speaker 1: first time that I got to experience my daughter throwing
Speaker 1: up in my mouth, and then good god, right, I know,
Speaker 1: and then my dog eating her poopy diaper. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this is motherhood. Like there's just things
Speaker 1: that you'll never be prepared for, but there's also things
Speaker 1: you can do to help prepare you to make that
Speaker 1: transition a little bit smoother for sure. How grossed out
Speaker 1: do you get? Do you get grossed out of your
Speaker 1: kids own poop and vomit? Yeah? I Um, I have
Speaker 1: these really loud, obnoxious gag attacks, which my husband finds hilarious. Um, Like,
Speaker 1: they're obnoxious and I can't control them. So I'm just
Speaker 1: really nervous because she's starting to eat solid foods, which
Speaker 1: means her poops are going to be really disgusting. Um.
Speaker 1: So that's I don't know how I'm going to do it.
Speaker 1: How do you say, does it? I thought baby poop
Speaker 1: smells worse than regular poop. No, that's a myth that
Speaker 1: I believed in all this time in my on this world. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the first poop that, Um, I love how we're starting
Speaker 1: the conversation with poop. Hey, that's an important question, you know,
Speaker 1: Like honestly, whenever I talk about having kids, like one
Speaker 1: of the first things people talk about, or like changing
Speaker 1: diapers and just how yeah, oh you're gonna be You're
Speaker 1: just gonna be surrounded by vomit and poop and dirt
Speaker 1: all the time. It's like, okay, cool, looking forward to that.
Speaker 1: The breastfeeding formula poops aren't that bad. It's when they
Speaker 1: start eating solids. It's like it'd be it's like a
Speaker 1: real human, grown up poop just in a diaper, and
Speaker 1: it's disgusting it. What about Liz, So Jared obviously has
Speaker 1: to have the baby for any of the stuff could happen.
Speaker 1: What kind of advice would you have for him to
Speaker 1: help conceive the child? Yes, Um, so you're in the
Speaker 1: fun part now, right, trying to have a baby For
Speaker 1: the most part. Sometimes it's not that fun. Sometimes it
Speaker 1: is work. You're like, okay, we have to do it
Speaker 1: right now. Yeah, that is really hard. Um, But I
Speaker 1: mean the advice would be to try to have fun
Speaker 1: with it, because these are the last moments that you
Speaker 1: guys are going to get with just you two, and
Speaker 1: that is going to change once you have a kid.
Speaker 1: You know, even if you get a night out away
Speaker 1: with Ashley, you know, you get a week in a way,
Speaker 1: you're still gonna be thinking and worrying about your kids.
Speaker 1: So these are going to be the last moments of
Speaker 1: you enjoying just each other. So try to like really
Speaker 1: enjoy as much as it gets stressful and you're trying
Speaker 1: to be like, Okay, we need to do it right
Speaker 1: now because I'm ovulating and we need to make a baby,
Speaker 1: and this is our window of opportunity, you know, so
Speaker 1: who cares. Let's you know, we don't need to kiss,
Speaker 1: let's just get it done with. We still kiss, but
Speaker 1: you know, it's definitely like I feel it's it's so
Speaker 1: weird to even talk about like sex while trying to conceive,
Speaker 1: because it's like, you know, you're like, okay, let's let's
Speaker 1: do it. We gotta do it right now, and let's
Speaker 1: just get it done and and then that's in my head.
Speaker 1: So it makes it increasingly worse. As Dean can attest
Speaker 1: to when you have all this pressure on you to
Speaker 1: be like Okay, you gotta like let's go, let's go,
Speaker 1: let's go. It's like, wait a second, how can I
Speaker 1: attest to that, because well, as a guy sometimes when
Speaker 1: you I'm sure it's very similar to being a female,
Speaker 1: But I can only talk about my own experience as
Speaker 1: being a guy. When you think about something like that
Speaker 1: too much, like oh no, like I'm either lasting too
Speaker 1: long or it's not lasting long enough. Like you, you
Speaker 1: overthink things and then you immediately lose it. I don't
Speaker 1: know that's what happens with me. I just need to
Speaker 1: make a baby. Yeah, how did that? How did that
Speaker 1: work for you and your husband? And obviously if you
Speaker 1: don't feel like talking about it, but you have no
Speaker 1: obligation to whatsoever. But was it like was it a
Speaker 1: similar situation in Jared and actually where they're planning and
Speaker 1: trying and all that stuff, or was it just like
Speaker 1: we'll just keep doing it or doing and if it happens, great,
Speaker 1: If not, we try to keep that mentality of like
Speaker 1: if it happens, just because I think working as a duela,
Speaker 1: I see the stress that it can create, and so
Speaker 1: we're like, all right, let's it. Actually, we weren't even
Speaker 1: planning on trying yet, but then my husband's grandma passed
Speaker 1: away and we were at the funeral and all the
Speaker 1: family was together, and we're like, man, this is what
Speaker 1: we want, like we want to be surrounded by family, Like,
Speaker 1: let's just stop preventing and start trying and we'll see
Speaker 1: what happens. And um, you know it was we tried
Speaker 1: to just let it happened. Although I could just save,
Speaker 1: like from the female side, it's hard, like even though
Speaker 1: he I wasn't telling him like, hey, I'm ovulating right now,
Speaker 1: whatever I was tracking. So then I'm like, hey, like,
Speaker 1: let's you know, you wanna you know, trying to like
Speaker 1: plan my obulation. I'm going to slip into something more comfortable, right, Although,
Speaker 1: like he you know, we were trying not to get
Speaker 1: too stressed, but I know that as it goes on,
Speaker 1: it does get stressful. Um. So I think that that
Speaker 1: advice is really hard to give. The people are like, hey,
Speaker 1: don't worry about it. It's like okay, you know, but
Speaker 1: a lot easier said than done, just like a lot
Speaker 1: of things in life her, right, So I would just say, like,
Speaker 1: just make sure that you guys, are really enjoying yourself together,
Speaker 1: because once she does get pregnant, um, you never know
Speaker 1: how that pregnancy could affect her. Like everybody is so different.
Speaker 1: You could be the healthiest person in the world and
Speaker 1: do everything right and feel so shitty during pregnancy to
Speaker 1: be throwing up all the time and be horrible, or
Speaker 1: you could be like a junk food freak and feel
Speaker 1: great throughout your pregnancies. So once she gets pregnant, like
Speaker 1: everything already kind of starts to change a little bit.
Speaker 1: So I would just try to like really enjoy what
Speaker 1: you have now. Well, Liz, I feel like we could
Speaker 1: talk to you all day. Unfortunately, our time is up.
Speaker 1: Everybody listening right now. Make sure you go check out
Speaker 1: Liz's podcast. You've had this podcast for many years. Miraculous mamas. Um,
Speaker 1: everybody go check that out. You can go get that
Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcast, Apple Podcasts, all that good stuff. Um, Liz,
Speaker 1: you have to come back because this was not enough
Speaker 1: time with you. Yeah, I'd love to talk more about
Speaker 1: doula stuff with you, if you guys ever want to
Speaker 1: hear that and more. What is a doula? Actually, just
Speaker 1: very quickly because I have no idea the part of
Speaker 1: your brain that controls anger. Not anger, but no doula. Basically,
Speaker 1: we partner alongside you to help you throughout your birthday experience.
Speaker 1: So before, during, and after we provide emotional comfort, physical
Speaker 1: support throughout labor and delivery, and informational support. So we're
Speaker 1: the only constant that's with you from beginning to end.
Speaker 1: Your doctor, midwife's nurses have to kind of come and go,
Speaker 1: but we're with with you the entire time. And there's
Speaker 1: awesome research and statistics that show why doulas are freaking amazing,
Speaker 1: so everyone should get one. Well, yeah, let's have you
Speaker 1: back and talk about it more. I'm not for that.
Speaker 1: It sounds good to me, all right, absolutely, thanks for
Speaker 1: joining us. It sounds like you've got some work to
Speaker 1: do too, though, so yeah, thanks so much for having
Speaker 1: me on. See you list by list. All right, welcome
Speaker 1: back to our Heart Radios podcast, Help I Suck at
Speaker 1: Dating Dean myself still here. We have very such special
Speaker 1: guests who zooming in right now. He is a linebacker
Speaker 1: from the NFL for the Baltimore Ravens who actually, if
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure, is a free agent right now, so
Speaker 1: we'll see where he ends up. It is Matthew Judan.
Speaker 1: Matthew said, thank you so much for joining us on
Speaker 1: the podcast today. Thank you all for having me. Man.
Speaker 1: I'm glad y'all think I'm good enough at dating to
Speaker 1: come and land some advice and all that good stuff.
Speaker 1: Well you're you're a new parent, congratulations. No no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you just had you just had a baby. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's one and then, uh I was not five years ago,
Speaker 1: but now I'm true that is yeah. So how are
Speaker 1: you doing? How's parent life? How are you? How's everything going?
Speaker 1: Parent life is kind of? Parent life is good. It's
Speaker 1: it's funny. Uh uh. So I was a single dad?
Speaker 1: Is we this whole week? Because my wife took Leo,
Speaker 1: which is my youngest, when she went to Miami with
Speaker 1: her sisters and some friends. You know, they had a
Speaker 1: little girl trip and it was good for me to
Speaker 1: just be alone by myself. So I was along with
Speaker 1: the Naya and she was telling me like the funniest
Speaker 1: craziest stuff and I'm like, dang, like you're kind of
Speaker 1: really smart, like you're getting older and it's just crazy
Speaker 1: to watch her from you know, like videos pop up
Speaker 1: on your phone of of her like barely walking, barely talking,
Speaker 1: you still got pictures and stuff, and you're like, man,
Speaker 1: I still remember you as this little kid, and now
Speaker 1: I kind of feel like how my parents feel. And
Speaker 1: now I want to go back and see my mom
Speaker 1: and my parents. And you know, I haven't seen them
Speaker 1: since the COVID and stuff because they lived in Michigan.
Speaker 1: I was in Maryland. So being a parent just makes
Speaker 1: you understand and your parents a little bit more and
Speaker 1: it makes you appreciate, you know, your kids a little
Speaker 1: bit more, even though you know you love and adored
Speaker 1: them and give them the world. But you're just like, dang,
Speaker 1: this is what my mom sees out of me or
Speaker 1: my dad's seeing out of me. So, uh, parent life
Speaker 1: is it's good, man. It puts a lot of stuff
Speaker 1: in perspective for you. Man, I'm I'm hoping you can
Speaker 1: help us out. So before we had John here, we
Speaker 1: were just talking to Jared about how he and his
Speaker 1: wife are working on on having their first child. Sounds
Speaker 1: like you've done it a couple of times already, So
Speaker 1: what kind of advice would you have for for Jared
Speaker 1: or just for anyone really that's trying to have a
Speaker 1: kid that you know. Uh, not that they've been unsuccessful
Speaker 1: so far, but just like, is there any type of
Speaker 1: tips that you have kind of going into it for him?
Speaker 1: All right, well, first, first of all, jokingly, you gotta
Speaker 1: you gotta practice by yourself and swing it around in
Speaker 1: the mirror. That's how you get the good ones. But
Speaker 1: but honestly, don't make it a job. I think everybody'd
Speaker 1: be like, are well, we want to have a baby.
Speaker 1: We got to do it on these days and these days,
Speaker 1: and this is how we got to do it. And
Speaker 1: I'm ovulating right here, you know, still be in that
Speaker 1: relationship and still have those moments of vulnerability and and
Speaker 1: have fun, you know, because that's what y'all was doing.
Speaker 1: I don't know when you met your wife, but maybe
Speaker 1: from college on and and now instead of it being
Speaker 1: an intimate time, it turned into like we gotta do
Speaker 1: it now at six thirty, uh, in this position, uh
Speaker 1: with with with no light like you know, you know,
Speaker 1: just just don't turn it. Don't turn it into that.
Speaker 1: Just be like, all right, well now we're ready to
Speaker 1: have a child in our world. And if that happens, okay,
Speaker 1: we're ready for it. But don't make the act of
Speaker 1: having a child a job. Uh, to take the fun
Speaker 1: out of it, you man, you gotta keep it fun,
Speaker 1: lighthearted and you know, always always like spruce us up,
Speaker 1: do something. You know, you never do that from from
Speaker 1: the man himself. That's what we're trying to do. Sometimes,
Speaker 1: like because we're about four or five months into actively trying,
Speaker 1: so sometimes you know, it feels a little bit more
Speaker 1: like a job than it should. So I totally agree.
Speaker 1: We we do things to have fun. Of course. Look look,
Speaker 1: I mean, look after this podcast and you're done, go
Speaker 1: to you know, go to a local beauty supply, get
Speaker 1: you like a wig. Go then go get you like
Speaker 1: some short shorts and you know, surpriser, you know, at
Speaker 1: four o'clock in the afternoon tomorrow with the wig and
Speaker 1: some short shorts and see see if that times are wrong?
Speaker 1: All right? I mean, hey, why not try something different? Yeah,
Speaker 1: didn't get to it, man, then, and then you know
Speaker 1: that that might be a story you tell y'all, A
Speaker 1: little man a little woman when she comes a babe like, man,
Speaker 1: I gotta ask, are you speaking of experience with that
Speaker 1: method or man? You you know my girl, my girl
Speaker 1: likes some stuff. Man, I can't be telling ya all
Speaker 1: the you know what, I'm talking some gyms. I think
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people are listening right now,
Speaker 1: you know, trying to maybe understand good ways to spruce
Speaker 1: it up. I'm not saying, you know, uh that you
Speaker 1: need to kind of wrap your wife out or anything
Speaker 1: like that, but it's a it's a good advice at
Speaker 1: the end of the day. Yeah. Yeah, it's all advice.
Speaker 1: And we all do stuff differently, and maybe you just
Speaker 1: haven't tried that, you know, or or maybe you A
Speaker 1: lot of people like don't talk about sets and they
Speaker 1: just they kind of have it and they have those
Speaker 1: intimate moments, but they like, outside of those moments, it's
Speaker 1: kind of taboo, and you know, they don't they don't
Speaker 1: talk about it if the lights are on, Like, okay,
Speaker 1: let's talk about this thing. Like, let's let's really find
Speaker 1: out what's your interests a are, you know, if we
Speaker 1: if we're married and were partners, Let let me find
Speaker 1: out what your real interests are and what you actually
Speaker 1: like to do. Because maybe I'm not, you know, because
Speaker 1: I know what I like and I'm gonna get what
Speaker 1: I like off, but maybe I'm not you know, fully
Speaker 1: get into what you like to do and so so
Speaker 1: and d and vice versa. Maybe it's something you might
Speaker 1: want your girl to do that she not might not,
Speaker 1: might not know that you like, and she might be
Speaker 1: willing to try, but you just never talked to her about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a that's a big thing. We talked about a
Speaker 1: lot on this podcast to his communication. Because you're right,
Speaker 1: I feel like, especially right like, when you're younger, you're
Speaker 1: always just kind of focused on yourself doing what you like,
Speaker 1: and then you get older and you're like, wait a second,
Speaker 1: there's someone else here with me. Maybe I should ask
Speaker 1: them what they like and what they want me to
Speaker 1: do for them exactly. Yeah, yeah, I agree. You gotta
Speaker 1: have that conversation. Man. It's just especially as Matt Matt
Speaker 1: and and you know Dean you can attest to you've
Speaker 1: been in a long term relationship. It's just, you know,
Speaker 1: you gotta spice things up every once in a while,
Speaker 1: you gotta change things up, and if you don't talk
Speaker 1: about it, it's never gonna change. Exactly. But Matthew, how long?
Speaker 1: So how long have you been married? We're going on
Speaker 1: three years? Congratulations. How did you How did you guys meet?
Speaker 1: We we met on tender, very nice and how long
Speaker 1: it was. It was young tender though. It was like
Speaker 1: when it first came out, and uh, and I was,
Speaker 1: I was in college, I just had got out of
Speaker 1: out of relationship and uh, you know, I was just
Speaker 1: swiping right if you mean she swiped right? And then
Speaker 1: uh we met. We met like she she she if
Speaker 1: she telling your story. She was like, I didn't want
Speaker 1: to meet you at first, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: was like, man, damn, well, why why didn't you want
Speaker 1: to meet you? Like I was, you know, I was
Speaker 1: an athlete and she didn't want to be like you me.
Speaker 1: We get we get bad reps because we're athletes, and
Speaker 1: not too many good athletes stories get told. Is only
Speaker 1: the bad ones about all the bad you know, stuff
Speaker 1: that athletes might do. And then she was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I wanted to go down that road. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, Luckily for her she did and we went
Speaker 1: through it. But so our first our first, our first
Speaker 1: time meeting, we were supposed like the start the story off,
Speaker 1: I got nine brothers and sisters and I was I
Speaker 1: was in college two and a half hours away from it,
Speaker 1: and sometimes they just pop up on my doorsteps, like
Speaker 1: not telling me. So the first time we go out,
Speaker 1: you know, we've been kind of texting back and forth,
Speaker 1: and she's like, no, I don't know. And I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, it's cool. It's like kindn't heard no before.
Speaker 1: It's all right. And then she was like, well, maybe
Speaker 1: I'm neat you out. And then so she I didn't
Speaker 1: have a car and callage my first car I got
Speaker 1: when I got to the NFL. Uh, so I have
Speaker 1: a car. So she was supposed to come pick me
Speaker 1: up and we was gonna go to the movies because
Speaker 1: Uber wasn't like a big thing yet. So well, so
Speaker 1: she was coming to pick me up. Like twenty minutes
Speaker 1: before she came pick me up, my two older brothers
Speaker 1: walked in the crew. They walked in the crib. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what are y'all doing here? Was like, man, we just
Speaker 1: came down here for the weekend. You're not You're not
Speaker 1: gonna call me or nothing. Man, you'ren'ta be You're gonna
Speaker 1: be doing nothing. So like the first time she came,
Speaker 1: I had to cancel. Like that day, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not about to leave my brothers at my house
Speaker 1: by myself, so you can come and like hang out
Speaker 1: with us and stuff, and so she just she she
Speaker 1: was real chill about it. Man. She came over, she
Speaker 1: hung out with us. Uh, she was real cool. We
Speaker 1: had a good time, and then you know, the rest
Speaker 1: is history. And so you know now she's uh, she's uh,
Speaker 1: she got my last name. So when did you know
Speaker 1: she was the one? A lot of people who you know,
Speaker 1: email us or ask us, how do you guys know
Speaker 1: when that person is the one? Uh? Just just do
Speaker 1: hanging out and uh and and just dang, that's a
Speaker 1: hard question. It really is, like I don't think. I
Speaker 1: don't think. Uh, I don't think you really know when
Speaker 1: the one is. But you're like, you're like, I can
Speaker 1: see myself during the rest of my life with this person,
Speaker 1: and people put too much in it is just the one?
Speaker 1: Or is it another one out there for me? Like
Speaker 1: you can you can find anybody and make them the
Speaker 1: one and try to like put them in a certain parameter,
Speaker 1: asked the one or she has it all or he
Speaker 1: has at all. But I found myself through her characteristics,
Speaker 1: through the things that we went through in life, knowing
Speaker 1: that I could spend the rest of my life with
Speaker 1: this woman and be a okay with that, and so
Speaker 1: that's that's when I knew. And it was you know
Speaker 1: when when I met her. When I met her, it
Speaker 1: wasn't like I was gonna be uh all star athlete.
Speaker 1: I went to a Division two school in Western Michigan
Speaker 1: and uh, and the first year we actually started talking,
Speaker 1: I told my a c L. So it wasn't like
Speaker 1: Judai was on the road road to greatness then like athletics.
Speaker 1: But she she stuck by me. She was there even
Speaker 1: though even though, like even when after I got our serge,
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't even want you close to me.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be like next to my mom.
Speaker 1: Like I was hurt, you know, because I had I
Speaker 1: had this laying in my head, like how how my
Speaker 1: career was gonna go. And so she was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I understand. If you ever need me, just let me know.
Speaker 1: And she was she was cool about everything. And how
Speaker 1: you know, my my first year in the league, I
Speaker 1: was like like this when she she knew she wanted
Speaker 1: to marry me, but but like I wasn't like going
Speaker 1: home for marriage yet. And my first year in the NFL,
Speaker 1: I was like I didn't know how it was gonna
Speaker 1: go because I told you, you know, I'm a Division
Speaker 1: two athletes. People get cut in the NFL every day.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know if I want
Speaker 1: you because we had a daughter at that time. I
Speaker 1: had a daughter my senior year in college. Uh, And
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know if if I want
Speaker 1: you and Anya is her name, to come out here
Speaker 1: to Baltimore where we have no family, we have, we
Speaker 1: have no back d You don't know nobody. I really
Speaker 1: don't know no nobody. And I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: want you all to come out for until I get
Speaker 1: established in it in the league, because I can get cut,
Speaker 1: I can get traded. We don't know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: And she was hot about that. She did not like that.
Speaker 1: She was like, I don't care what you say. I'm coming.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be away from you. This is
Speaker 1: my family. And she did not like that. And I
Speaker 1: was like all right, yeah, like like I really like
Speaker 1: that she was fighting for us to be a family.
Speaker 1: That she's the one, right and she was like trying
Speaker 1: to stay together. But like I got my way because
Speaker 1: I was like, if I get cut, and then I
Speaker 1: signed the leaves and then I gotta go sign a
Speaker 1: lead somewhere else, Like I don't want you to. But
Speaker 1: when I knew I was gonna like be on the
Speaker 1: Ravens and be a good player, I was like, all
Speaker 1: y'all come out here. Yeah, that makes sense, that makes sense. Um, Matt,
Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick break. But we had a
Speaker 1: lot of our listeners email us questions that they want
Speaker 1: your help answering, kind of like a like ask a
Speaker 1: guy anything sort of thing. Is that cool with you? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: let's let's get into that. All right. Cool, We're gonna
Speaker 1: take one quick break to to talk to our sponsores
Speaker 1: real quick, but we're gonna be right back and we'll
Speaker 1: jump right into that. All right, welcome back to help.
Speaker 1: By second dating, we're of course gonna answer your emails.
Speaker 1: We're gonna answer some guy questions that were sent into
Speaker 1: us by of course, the best audience in the world
Speaker 1: to suck army. Uh So, Matt, let's start with the
Speaker 1: first one. How do you balance football family and friends? Because,
Speaker 1: as you said, yeah, the NFL, I mean, that's like
Speaker 1: it's one of the most demanding jobs anybody could have.
Speaker 1: So the idea of balancing that family and then you're
Speaker 1: also do you know your own personal health and how
Speaker 1: do you balance that? Well? First, first, family's two different dynamics.
Speaker 1: When you get married, you have your family. Then you
Speaker 1: have you know, immediate family, meaning like mom, brother and sisters,
Speaker 1: and also her family, my brother and sisters, because you know,
Speaker 1: you become one. I think I think those always come first.
Speaker 1: You know, first it's your family who's in your household,
Speaker 1: who you have to protect and care for. Uh. Then
Speaker 1: secondly it becomes immediate family. Uh. And that's that's also
Speaker 1: mixed in with friends, you know, if they need something.
Speaker 1: Because right now I'm in Arizona for a friend's birthday.
Speaker 1: But I made sure last night, I made sure I
Speaker 1: went and picked up you know, I came a day late,
Speaker 1: so I made sure I went and picked up my
Speaker 1: wife from the airport seeing Leo and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: had had a couple of hours with them before I
Speaker 1: flew out. Uh. And then it was fans family and
Speaker 1: what football football is it is when you're in football,
Speaker 1: like the season and stuff that that kind of trumps
Speaker 1: everything besides besides like birthdays and and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But uh, you know, during football, I did miss some
Speaker 1: of my friends weddings. I'd missed some some stuff that
Speaker 1: I would like to be at, but I can't. You know,
Speaker 1: like Christmas is Thanksgiving, we are uh you know, you
Speaker 1: you kind of miss some of that stuff. But you
Speaker 1: make you make time. You make time for your family.
Speaker 1: So if my daughter gota recital, or if she needs
Speaker 1: me like to go to a daddy daughter dance, or
Speaker 1: if Leo has an appointment that I need to go
Speaker 1: to or preencing and need I make time for that stuff.
Speaker 1: But football is a priority during the season. Out of season.
Speaker 1: Out of season, I'm not really I'm not really thinking
Speaker 1: too much about football all. It's all it's all a
Speaker 1: friends stuff because I don't I only have so much
Speaker 1: time in this league. And you know, say if I
Speaker 1: have a long career, which most people careers, you know,
Speaker 1: it could be thirty years. You could be doing something
Speaker 1: for thirty years. But my my max career is probably
Speaker 1: fifteen years, you know, so I got half that time.
Speaker 1: So I make that time. I try to like maximize
Speaker 1: that time and be the best at that time. But uh,
Speaker 1: during the off season, you know, I make family with
Speaker 1: my career. So when I work out, briand works out
Speaker 1: and then we take we take a leo and when
Speaker 1: a no it's not at school, we take her and
Speaker 1: they see, you know, the fruits of our labors. It's like, okay,
Speaker 1: we get to we get to live in this house,
Speaker 1: but this house is paid for with all this sweat
Speaker 1: and all this hard work. Or we get we get
Speaker 1: to go on this trip. But you know, before before
Speaker 1: I got on a flight out here, I was lifting
Speaker 1: this morning because you know, that's that's how that's how
Speaker 1: I pay for everything, you know, so so with my
Speaker 1: body and all that stuff. So you know, you you
Speaker 1: make time for the friends and family, but when it's
Speaker 1: football's football number one. Yeah, I mean and you guys, uh,
Speaker 1: you guys are dedicated to your profession to say the least. Um. So,
Speaker 1: another another member of the audience as we'll call them,
Speaker 1: wants to know, now, before you met your beautiful wife brand,
Speaker 1: did you have a pickup line that you used to
Speaker 1: try to use on girls? And then if you did,
Speaker 1: what was your go to pick up line? Oh? Not, see,
Speaker 1: I didn't have a pickup line, I you know, but
Speaker 1: I'm like silly, so I always interacted with girl through
Speaker 1: jokes or try to make them laugh and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Because I feel like once like that was the icebreaker
Speaker 1: to make them laugh or tell jokes and to get
Speaker 1: and to get them in an easier mindset or more
Speaker 1: comfortable mindset instead of like so they can put their
Speaker 1: guard down, like you know, maybe I could have a
Speaker 1: conversation with this person, but it was it wasn't. I
Speaker 1: did never have a pickup line. I wish I did.
Speaker 1: I wish I had like a cool pickup line that worked,
Speaker 1: you know, eighty percent of the time, but I didn't.
Speaker 1: No same here, I had no pickup lines. I'm sure
Speaker 1: if you had to pick up line, it would have
Speaker 1: worked for you pretty well. Or a Grand Valley Yeah,
Speaker 1: no kidding, I don't know about that. And I don't
Speaker 1: see y'all seeing me now, you know, y'all gotta y'all
Speaker 1: gotta go to the before pictures as my Grand Valley pictures. Man,
Speaker 1: I had. I got braces my rookie year in the league.
Speaker 1: Like my teeth was like not, you know, and now
Speaker 1: I smile all the time, but my teeth wasn't straight
Speaker 1: when uh, when I was at Grand Valley, man, I
Speaker 1: was still handsome and that helped. But you know, now
Speaker 1: that I looked back, I was like, she's hey, so
Speaker 1: so when you're out of season, we also have this
Speaker 1: question here. When you're out of season, right and it's
Speaker 1: just you, the wife, the kids, how do you prioritize
Speaker 1: alone time with just you and the wife? Like how
Speaker 1: do you how do you like segment your time to
Speaker 1: get away from the kids. Well, so I take bath
Speaker 1: one like once a week, and Brianne will come in
Speaker 1: there and we have like flip cars. We got a
Speaker 1: whole bunch of like cars. And they just asked us questions,
Speaker 1: like very in depth questions about ourselves and about how
Speaker 1: we see, how we see our partner, and we answered, oh,
Speaker 1: we try to answer those questions very honestly. And then
Speaker 1: uh at night, uh, you know, after we put Leo
Speaker 1: to sleep and uh Nya goes to sleep, that's our
Speaker 1: that's our time, that's our time. You know, sometimes we
Speaker 1: she's flipping through zero and I'm on a video game.
Speaker 1: But if she ever wants to talk, she knows, like
Speaker 1: if she if she just says like all right, we
Speaker 1: need to talk, like right now, that's she got my
Speaker 1: undivided attention. Because we don't we don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about no kids or anything like that. And then, uh,
Speaker 1: you gotta try to have one day out of the week,
Speaker 1: you know, one night out a week that y'all get
Speaker 1: away from the kids and stuff like that, get a
Speaker 1: get a babysitter. Y'all can go out. It's hard during COVID,
Speaker 1: but y'all can go out and find a new restaurant,
Speaker 1: try something new, or you know, just go to the
Speaker 1: go to the old classics. If you and your girl
Speaker 1: like to drink, you know, go to you like, one
Speaker 1: of your favorite bars, or if y'all like to eat,
Speaker 1: go to one of your favorite restaurants, or try something new.
Speaker 1: You know, you can go to I Fly with your
Speaker 1: girl or something, or I don't. I don't recommend I
Speaker 1: don't really recommend man movies that much because you don't
Speaker 1: really get to talk like that. You know, it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's time spent. But you know, she might really have
Speaker 1: she might have had a hard week. And if y'all
Speaker 1: go to the movies, you know she she can't really
Speaker 1: talk to you like that, or you can't really talk
Speaker 1: to her like that. It's if it's something in your chest. So,
Speaker 1: but sometimes movies is good. Uh. We went and seeing
Speaker 1: Me and Brian and saw a Stars Born with Lady
Speaker 1: Gaga and and like it was just it was we
Speaker 1: didn't even know what the movie was. We just we
Speaker 1: just knew we didn't want to go see the other movies.
Speaker 1: So he was like, all right, man, we'll go see
Speaker 1: Bradley Cooper in it. We'll go see it. I like,
Speaker 1: Bradley Cooper. Do you remember what the other movie it
Speaker 1: was that you didn't want to say? Now I'm curious
Speaker 1: it was. It was. It was kind of late. We
Speaker 1: just had gotten into back to Michigan from Maryland. We
Speaker 1: dropped the kids off, we dropped the night off at
Speaker 1: her grandma house, and uh, it was it was the
Speaker 1: movie about Queen. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to say that either. I'll forget the name, but it
Speaker 1: was the movie about Queen. And we was like it
Speaker 1: it is between that and Bradley Cooper. So we went
Speaker 1: and saw. We went and saw. It was a real
Speaker 1: good movie. Man. That was one of my favorite movies. Now, no,
Speaker 1: but I agree with you. I think govern to the movies.
Speaker 1: We've always said this is a bad first dake because,
Speaker 1: like you said, it's time spent, but it's not quality
Speaker 1: time spen. So if you're not comfortable if you don't
Speaker 1: know the other person, why would you go to a
Speaker 1: dark theater where you can't talk to one another? Just
Speaker 1: doesn't make sense in my mind. Yeah, well, Matthews and
Speaker 1: thanks man for joining us. We really appreciate it. I do.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I gotta ask this one question as a
Speaker 1: as a diehard Boston sports fan like Dante high Tower
Speaker 1: is coming back. I think you'd look good in the
Speaker 1: Patriots uniform. You and high Tower linebackers in New England.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm just I'm just I'm saying. I mean, man,
Speaker 1: you what's crazy is the friend I'm out here in
Speaker 1: Arizona with, you know, not to name prop, but Carl Davis.
Speaker 1: So he uh, he wanted to know those tackles. And
Speaker 1: he's been recruiting pretty heavy too. So I mean longest
Speaker 1: longest I can wear ninety nine. Man, we're good, We're good.
Speaker 1: So tail so tail Bible to hit me up right now?
Speaker 1: I got Yeah, I gotta say you would look good
Speaker 1: in blue, but a different shade of blue. Maybe pay
Speaker 1: with a little bit of orange too. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I can just see you playing in Denver just Dean's
Speaker 1: of Broncos fan. Oh, yeah, I hear that. Man. Uh,
Speaker 1: but I don't know about the altitude. Yeah, you don't
Speaker 1: want Who wants to play up in like a thousand
Speaker 1: feet in the air. Nobody wants that. Here's the thing
Speaker 1: that Broncos are built to win, you know, the next
Speaker 1: you know, matt you got, like you said, you got ten, eleven,
Speaker 1: twelve more years in your career. Broncos are going to
Speaker 1: be winning a pretty pretty good amount those ten years.
Speaker 1: So oh yeah, yeah, I will. Well, I heard the
Speaker 1: Orange Crush love you when you out there, So I
Speaker 1: might had to. I might had to. God, I'm keeping
Speaker 1: my options open. Man. I'm I'm single right now to
Speaker 1: the NFL, I'm tell again, and my relationships to the NFL.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm single and ready to mingle. So you
Speaker 1: need like a tinder for finding the right NFL team
Speaker 1: or something, right, Hey, you know what, I might I
Speaker 1: might have to swipe right on. I might swipe left
Speaker 1: on some teams, but that swipe right almost I think
Speaker 1: you'll find the right team. You're you'll be an asset
Speaker 1: to wherever you go. So, Matthew, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining us. We really appreciate it. We're sending our
Speaker 1: love to you and your family. Thank you as well,
Speaker 1: and I hope the uh baby making business as well
Speaker 1: for you. And I'm gonna go get that wig. All right.
Speaker 1: I'm telling get you some wigs and get you some
Speaker 1: you know, low cut shorts. I'm telling you you should. Hey,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not gonna knock it till you try
Speaker 1: until I try it. You got you got nice squads.
Speaker 1: They're a little hairy, you know that's all right? Man,
Speaker 1: get you I don't want to like plug on youall show,
Speaker 1: but get you the little Manscape. It changed your life. Man,
Speaker 1: good stuff, man, Man, escape them thighs, get you one
Speaker 1: of them little short shorts and then go head wig
Speaker 1: and short shorts, bing bot a bone. My wife is
Speaker 1: gonna be so turned on. They've never seen you as
Speaker 1: a blonde before. She's about to all right, Matthew, thank
Speaker 1: you so much, man, Thank you all for having Thanks
Speaker 1: matt all right, everybody, welcome back, and it is time
Speaker 1: for our favorite segment, or at least my favorite segment.
Speaker 1: Not to take anything away from our fantastic guest that
Speaker 1: we always have, but it's always so great to hear
Speaker 1: from you guys, are emailers, our listeners. Before we get
Speaker 1: to our emailers. Though. There's one thing I want to
Speaker 1: talk about, because we're gonna be wearing masks for a while,
Speaker 1: it's important to have the right mask to protect yourself
Speaker 1: and those around you. Absolutely, and and respirators can provide
Speaker 1: a big upgrade to your current mass. There are fake
Speaker 1: and counterfeit versions, so you want to be sure that
Speaker 1: you have the approved version. That's very important. Secure components
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Speaker 1: spring break is coming up and people might be traveling
Speaker 1: on an airplane, or they might be going into close
Speaker 1: quarters into a supermarket where they just can't be six
Speaker 1: ft of separation. This is one situation where the nine
Speaker 1: would be really, really handy. Yeah. Absolutely, you know it's funny.
Speaker 1: I've d and I've flown just like you've flown. And
Speaker 1: obviously I've been in grocery stores many times. I feel
Speaker 1: way more I feel so much more safe on a
Speaker 1: plane than I do in a grocery store. Um, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you feel the same way, but that's
Speaker 1: I don't know. Every time I go to the the grocery store,
Speaker 1: I always getting nervous. But anyway, secure components is a
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Speaker 1: Go to secure components dot com to get yours. Anyways,
Speaker 1: back to the emails. Here we go east and we
Speaker 1: love when you read emails. You and Mark have the
Speaker 1: voice of angels. I'll tell you you, guys, I don't
Speaker 1: want you guyssan. I want you to make an audio
Speaker 1: tape of like you, you know, whispering sweet nothing so
Speaker 1: I can fall asleep to it. That I can do.
Speaker 1: That I can do um you know. Uh. Sometimes my
Speaker 1: wife when she has trouble sleeping, she she likes that
Speaker 1: a S M R stuff and she has me like
Speaker 1: rub her scalp and just say it doesn't matter what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. She's like, just say something, just whisper something
Speaker 1: to me. But are you being serious? I'm being dead serious.
Speaker 1: And so it kind of rules because I get to
Speaker 1: talk about all the stuff that I want to talk
Speaker 1: about that she does not care. So I'll be like
Speaker 1: Disneyland is implementing a new annual past system like and
Speaker 1: it works. It works for her, it works. She loves it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I feel like if Ashley was just whispering about
Speaker 1: the Kardashians into my ears as I was falling asleep,
Speaker 1: I would have a nervous breakdown. I would I think
Speaker 1: something like that would put me to sleep, because it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: something I don't care about, making you go to bed,
Speaker 1: not that, not that the Disney passes isn't something that
Speaker 1: I don't care about. You know, it's very important. I
Speaker 1: still have not been on rise of resistance. I cannot
Speaker 1: believe this. Granted, you know, parks are closed or at
Speaker 1: least Disneyland is Disney World's open. I'm like, I'm just
Speaker 1: piste off anyway, moving on anyway. It's a it's a
Speaker 1: it's a crime. But let's get to our first email.
Speaker 1: This is from Kristen. She says, I have never felt
Speaker 1: comfortable with p d A. When a partner even tries
Speaker 1: to hold my hand or put an arm around my
Speaker 1: shoulder in public, my body automatically tenses up and I
Speaker 1: flinch as a reflex. This has been the foundation of
Speaker 1: arguments between myself and my past partners. I've been told
Speaker 1: that my lack of open physical affection makes it difficult
Speaker 1: for love interests to read whether I'm actually interested them.
Speaker 1: How do I navigate the beginning stages of dating where
Speaker 1: people value social cues such as a light touch on
Speaker 1: the arm or a hand on the need to indicate interest.
Speaker 1: Do I need to force myself through the discomfort and
Speaker 1: give my partner that physical affection? That's it. That's an
Speaker 1: interesting one. So she she tenses up when the date
Speaker 1: she's on tries to put their arm around her. I
Speaker 1: think that maybe just means you don't like the person
Speaker 1: that much. Right, that could be a factor totally and
Speaker 1: just for everybody, so we're all on the same page here.
Speaker 1: P DA, of course means public display of affection. I
Speaker 1: don't know, if you flinched, that's not a good time.
Speaker 1: But also Christen could just be really nervous and she
Speaker 1: could be shy. But I would say that if that's
Speaker 1: the case, you should probably practice. You should probably be
Speaker 1: open to the idea of someone kissing you in public,
Speaker 1: holding your hand in public, because, like I can only
Speaker 1: speak from my own experience, but if I was trying
Speaker 1: to show affection to someone that I care about in
Speaker 1: public and they were not having it. It would make
Speaker 1: me wildly insecure in our relationship. Why are you making
Speaker 1: her change who she is? I'm not. I'm saying that maybe,
Speaker 1: just maybe she should be open to the idea of
Speaker 1: it and try to practice getting comfortable with it. Because
Speaker 1: all right, Mark, let me ask you. You're with your wife,
Speaker 1: you're in the early stages of your dating, you know,
Speaker 1: uh experienced journey, and then you go in for a
Speaker 1: kiss in public and she turns away, and then you
Speaker 1: try to hold her hand and she kind of like
Speaker 1: slaps it away. You're telling me that you'd be like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: it's fine. I this doesn't cause me any type of
Speaker 1: insecurity at all. I think it'd be a conversation. But also,
Speaker 1: my wife is not as physically affectionate as I am.
Speaker 1: She's not. You know, some people have that physical touch
Speaker 1: right at the top of their love languages. Some people
Speaker 1: have it way down at the bottom, And it sounds
Speaker 1: like she does. So I don't think I think she's
Speaker 1: gonna find somebody that she sinks up with, and maybe
Speaker 1: even a guy, because there's plenty of guys out there
Speaker 1: who aren't interested in that either. And I think it's
Speaker 1: gonna be just fine. I don't think she should change
Speaker 1: who she is. I think that you can meet in
Speaker 1: the middle if a guy's really lovely duffy, but I'm
Speaker 1: not sure that one's going to work in the long term.
Speaker 1: But isn't meeting in the middle changing who she is?
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess there's compromised in every relationship. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm just arguing for the compromise. That's where I'm Here's
Speaker 1: here's my take on it. So I I'm kind I'm
Speaker 1: not maybe as uh to to this extremist. Kristen is
Speaker 1: not calling an extreme, I guess, But I also I'm
Speaker 1: not the biggest fan of pd A, you know, like
Speaker 1: all hold hands. Sure, I guess, so maybe you know
Speaker 1: I'm not quite as severe as this, but uh, Calin
Speaker 1: kind of understands that. And I know Kalin's one of
Speaker 1: Calin's biggest love languages is physical touch, and so our compromises.
Speaker 1: And this is different because obviously we've been dating for
Speaker 1: a while. But when we're like behind closed doors, then
Speaker 1: I'll give her the physical touch that she, you know, prefers,
Speaker 1: But like I don't know, I don't know what it
Speaker 1: is in public. I just kind of like, you know,
Speaker 1: do my own thing, wandering around doing whatever. Um, So
Speaker 1: there are ways to compromise without necessarily like giving up
Speaker 1: that part of you. And I agree, like maybe you
Speaker 1: should just find a guy that's like okay with not
Speaker 1: giving you the PDA that you don't want. You know,
Speaker 1: I think I'm just reading this differently than you guys,
Speaker 1: because I'm reading this as the words she's telling us,
Speaker 1: which is that she feels nervous about holding having someone
Speaker 1: hold her hand or putting their arm around her shoulder,
Speaker 1: or as she says, a light touch on the arm
Speaker 1: or a hand on the knee. Like that's the type
Speaker 1: of compromising on talk talking about. Listen, I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that you should just totally go full out makeout mode
Speaker 1: in the middle of Corrabas restaurant on a Saturday night.
Speaker 1: But the idea that you know, someone that she likes,
Speaker 1: that likes her, you know, touches her on the arm
Speaker 1: and she kind of shakes them away, I think might
Speaker 1: be something you should try working on. Don't change yourself,
Speaker 1: you know, I get it. I I We're all shy,
Speaker 1: we all have our our little quirks. But you know,
Speaker 1: if it's causing arguments with someone that you really care about.
Speaker 1: I would definitely try to work on it. I think
Speaker 1: it comes out of communication, right, just so your partner
Speaker 1: knows that there's a reason you're not gonna want to
Speaker 1: do that in front of other people. Yeah. Yeah, communication, Uh,
Speaker 1: acceptance I think is really important. Look like if you're
Speaker 1: not if you're gonna go on a first date with
Speaker 1: a guy and you tell him this that you're not
Speaker 1: the biggest fan of like holding hands or being touched
Speaker 1: and he like takes that as like being getting upset,
Speaker 1: freaks out, whatever, then obviously that's just not your guy.
Speaker 1: And then eventually, one of these days you're gonna do it.
Speaker 1: You're gonna go on a date, You're gonna go out
Speaker 1: with a guy. He's gonna you're gonna tell him that
Speaker 1: you don't like the hand holding all that kind of stuff,
Speaker 1: and he's gonna be like, whoa, no way, I don't
Speaker 1: like that stuff either, and then bought a being bought
Speaker 1: a boom. You might just found your soul mate. I
Speaker 1: think by like, if by just talking about it, yeah,
Speaker 1: communication communicated out, you'll be fine. This is from anonymous.
Speaker 1: I consider myself bisexual, but have only been in serious
Speaker 1: relationships with men. That doesn't mean I'm not open to
Speaker 1: dating women in the future, but I truly see myself
Speaker 1: with a man long term. I'm interested in getting married
Speaker 1: and having kids. Currently, I'm on a dating app to
Speaker 1: meet men only, and I'm wondering if my sexuality is
Speaker 1: something I should put in my bio or tell someone.
Speaker 1: After a few dates in the past, telling guys that
Speaker 1: I'm dating that I'm bisexual has complicated things. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: do think the complication could arise from guys getting like
Speaker 1: secretly turned on, like, oh, this girl is gonna like
Speaker 1: probably want to be in threesomes and stuff all the time. Right, Yeah, Um,
Speaker 1: you know something really quick I want to say, I
Speaker 1: think I think my wife said this on this podcast,
Speaker 1: But my my wife is bisexual and I've known this
Speaker 1: for a very long time, and I'm not gonna lie
Speaker 1: those thoughts of definitely as they well should you know, Um,
Speaker 1: but then I remember that I'm I'm me, and that's
Speaker 1: never gonna go well right, but um, it's it's something
Speaker 1: that I like, I think that you should like. I
Speaker 1: think if you tell someone that on a first date,
Speaker 1: that definitely like, I don't think that's necessary, But like,
Speaker 1: I think that should be a conversation like fairly early on,
Speaker 1: because uh, you know, I think that I don't know,
Speaker 1: and it's a it's an important part of someone's identity,
Speaker 1: that's an important part of you, and I think that
Speaker 1: someone to let me ask you this, if you don't
Speaker 1: mind sharing, when did you know? When'd you find out? Uh?
Speaker 1: I mean our situation is weird because we were friends
Speaker 1: for such a long time and I knew before we
Speaker 1: dated officially, so um, you know, it's it's something that
Speaker 1: in my in my situation, just made things easier because
Speaker 1: I could be like, Scarlett Johanson is really hot. I
Speaker 1: know I'll get an honest reaction. Um, But but yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's something that should be discussed early on.
Speaker 1: That's that's my take, right, But like you said, not
Speaker 1: too early on, because I think if you talk about
Speaker 1: it like the first date or whatever, you kind of
Speaker 1: said like the wrong precedent, Like if I bringing it
Speaker 1: up so earlier, you're kind of like nodding towards being like, hey,
Speaker 1: like just so you know, like this is all possible.
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, I just feel like it's kind
Speaker 1: of it's the wrong tone if you, and you could
Speaker 1: scare people away too. You might be there might There
Speaker 1: are plenty of people that think that bisexuality is kind
Speaker 1: of code word for gay, I just don't want to
Speaker 1: say it yet, And so they're going to be hesitant
Speaker 1: in that sense. And there's some people who would if
Speaker 1: they're insecure and they're kind of a jealous type. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's one thing to be jealous of other guys, and
Speaker 1: you're gonna be jealous of everybody in the world. Like,
Speaker 1: I think that there's other reasons that it could be
Speaker 1: um not attractive to certain people. But I so I
Speaker 1: agree early on, maybe not in the bio sure, but
Speaker 1: I also think that if you're going to scare someone
Speaker 1: away for being bisexual, then it might be better to
Speaker 1: scare them away early on rather than like that's a
Speaker 1: good point. Yeah, And there's a big difference between bisexuality
Speaker 1: and like polyamory, you know, like like yeah, because you
Speaker 1: can be attracted to men and women, but also like
Speaker 1: you want to be in a committed relationship totally. It's
Speaker 1: just like being attracted to either a man or a
Speaker 1: woman and still wanting to be in a committed relationship,
Speaker 1: you know, just because you're sexually attracted to both genders
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you want to be in a relationship
Speaker 1: with everybody. I agree with you, Easton, Um, it's that's
Speaker 1: a good point. We're all attracted to women, but that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that we're gonna hope to hook up with
Speaker 1: other women while we're in our exactly. Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: really good point. Yeah, unless our wife is bisexual. And
Speaker 1: then for Easton, you know that could be that could work.
Speaker 1: Hey man, the possibilities there maybe. Uh, yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: tough one. I I guess for me, i'd say early on,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if it has to be in your bio.
Speaker 1: But um, you know, I don't think is there anything
Speaker 1: wrong with talking about it even on the first or
Speaker 1: second date. Um, I don't know. That's just me though,
Speaker 1: But it's certainly not an easy question to answer because
Speaker 1: everybody is different and some people might have different reactions
Speaker 1: to it. Um, but the best to you, anonymous, which
Speaker 1: we knew who you were, but I mean I understand, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess we like so, I have like dated girls
Speaker 1: that are openly bisexual before. Um, only speaking from my experience,
Speaker 1: of course, whenever they said that like, it never really
Speaker 1: phased me. And I think that at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, you should, like, like everyone's basically been saying here,
Speaker 1: just to kind of like give a clear cut answer
Speaker 1: to anonymous right, like share what you're comfortable sharing. The
Speaker 1: right person is not going to judge you one way
Speaker 1: or the other. Um And I think at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, as long as you realize those things, like,
Speaker 1: everything is going to be perfectly fine. I great, well
Speaker 1: said Dean, Well said, thanks, thank you, thank you, You're
Speaker 1: very welcome. Well, I think that's gonna do it for
Speaker 1: this week's episode of Help by Second Dating. Did you
Speaker 1: have a final thought, teen, I was gonna say, Is
Speaker 1: that gonna do it for this week's episode of Help
Speaker 1: by Second Dating? You know, grape minds think alike. We've
Speaker 1: been doing this podcast too long together. Just one big
Speaker 1: thank you to the Adventure Challenge. Thank you for letting
Speaker 1: us be a part of the Adventure Challenge holiday campaign.
Speaker 1: We certainly love you, We love the book. We love
Speaker 1: to scratch off new adventure every week. It really spices
Speaker 1: things in my relationship, at least as we talked about
Speaker 1: earlier with Ash and I. So I we always like
Speaker 1: the surprise of what the new challenge could be UM
Speaker 1: and a big thank you to Matthew Judean. Hopefully he's
Speaker 1: a New England Patriot this fall. That would be really nice.
Speaker 1: Or Denver Bronco. I'll give it to you a Dean
Speaker 1: or a buccaneer or a buccaneer if he wants to
Speaker 1: win the Super Bowl. Uh uh for I'm sorry Marca anyway,
Speaker 1: big thank you to Elizabeth Sandos. You can of course
Speaker 1: listen to her podcast Miracle Mama's Um. You can get
Speaker 1: that wherever podcasts are available, and I think that will
Speaker 1: do it. Dean, thank you for just being you the
Speaker 1: wonderful man you are. You're welcome. It's currently ten degrees outside.
Speaker 1: I am recording from a van that has turned off.
Speaker 1: The heater is off, so there's no audio disturbances. That's
Speaker 1: for Market Easton and of course for the listeners out there.
Speaker 1: You know, I want you two guys to get the
Speaker 1: best experience you can out of this. I'm simply just
Speaker 1: looking for a little bit of maybe like a quiet applause,
Speaker 1: because I'm freezing my butt off in an unheated van
Speaker 1: and tend degree weather in the middle of a snowstorm
Speaker 1: in Idaho. But you didn't need to know that. I
Speaker 1: just felt like sharing it so that I'll do it
Speaker 1: for this week's episode of Help I Suck At Dating.
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to next week next week's episode, because hey,
Speaker 1: maybe we'll suck just a little bit less. Follow help
Speaker 1: by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to podcast