Speaker 1: I had Grin's thirteenth birthday weekend. I put my body
Speaker 1: into everything I do, and it gets it's so exhausting
Speaker 1: because it doesn't matter. I make a big deal out
Speaker 1: of everything. I make a big deal out of things
Speaker 1: I buy at the dollar store. Ironically, I was going
Speaker 1: to say things I buy it ames. I make no
Speaker 1: big deal out of things I buy at Armez. But
Speaker 1: every event, every moment, every barbecue, every person that comes over,
Speaker 1: every playdate, every it's a lot. It's a lot of pressure.
Speaker 1: I put it all on myself taking my daughter to
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift, like I have to make it a thing.
Speaker 1: And we're going to Philadelphia because we got better seats there,
Speaker 1: and we're going in my Sprinter, which is my van,
Speaker 1: and we're staying in a hotel and I'm taking a
Speaker 1: girlfriend and like what am I wearing? And you know,
Speaker 1: I just like everything to be exciting and fun. So
Speaker 1: but it doesn't have to be expensive by any means.
Speaker 1: Like we were talking about the Kardashians like birthday parties
Speaker 1: and things, It's not like that at all. I had
Speaker 1: a slumber party last weekend. And my thing is not
Speaker 1: to spend money on gifts, is to spend money on experiences.
Speaker 1: Like I think I've told you before. If Brinn gets something,
Speaker 1: she gets rid of two things. If she wants omah,
Speaker 1: can I get that lip gloss or something, I'm like,
Speaker 1: go get three of the garbage expired loop glosses out
Speaker 1: of your draw and sure, like not every time, but
Speaker 1: I have guidelines and her friends in many cases have
Speaker 1: more fancy makeup than she does, because I'm not just
Speaker 1: at the place of yes with spending, but I really
Speaker 1: do like experiences. And since she was little, I would
Speaker 1: say to brand I want you to choose friends that
Speaker 1: you want to be around, not like you have to
Speaker 1: invite your whole class or any kind of rules, like
Speaker 1: girls that you want to spend time. And she would
Speaker 1: think about it, and she would then pick a couple
Speaker 1: of girls and it woud usually be like four or five,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes six, but it would be a specific
Speaker 1: group and then we would do a special experience. One
Speaker 1: year we went to they have these in New York City.
Speaker 1: They have this carousel that has these like amazing beautiful
Speaker 1: fish chairs, like they look like you're under the sea,
Speaker 1: like shell shell seats and stuff, and take them on
Speaker 1: the Merry Go Round and then I took them out.
Speaker 1: I think that time I took them to like mister
Speaker 1: I took them to Mister Chow because bring Love's restaurant,
Speaker 1: and then they were all dancing in the basement, uh,
Speaker 1: doing tiktoks or whatever dances it was. And one time
Speaker 1: I took her to a make your own ice cream
Speaker 1: place all the way uptown that you it's called cool
Speaker 1: something and you get to make your own ice cream.
Speaker 1: And I forgot where we had dinner. And one time
Speaker 1: I took her to them to Jersey to go make
Speaker 1: their own jeans and they got to paint their own
Speaker 1: jeans and it was oh. And then we went to
Speaker 1: an Italian restaurant or we will ordered it, and I
Speaker 1: think from there it was always an experience and I've
Speaker 1: kept that tradition. One year I took her and a
Speaker 1: friend to Disney when she was little like And sometimes
Speaker 1: it's marketing. Sometimes I know, uh, oh, I got an
Speaker 1: appearance in Orlando and I can go, or sometimes I
Speaker 1: got a trip to Mexico or something. I have to
Speaker 1: go somewhere for something, and I'll then wrap it up
Speaker 1: and go around her birthday and make it her birthday drip.
Speaker 1: But it's always an experience. So this year she said,
Speaker 1: you know, we have a guest house, and she said,
Speaker 1: can we do a sleep And I thought, they're gonna
Speaker 1: be on the property, I'm gonna be thinking about it,
Speaker 1: or they're gonna be in my basement and they're gonna
Speaker 1: be loud, and it's gonna be a mess, and I'm
Speaker 1: too neurotic to have to clean everything up and whatever,
Speaker 1: and it's gonna end up being you know, expensive anyway,
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be not relaxing. And by no means
Speaker 1: did it end up being relaxing, but it was exactly
Speaker 1: what it was supposed to be. So I said, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get you a hotel room that had a nice hotel,
Speaker 1: a fine hotel, like not you know, the plaza or anything.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna get a big suite, like a corporate suite,
Speaker 1: you know, they don't need fancy, and you can invite
Speaker 1: how many girls you wantavite. And she ended up inviting
Speaker 1: seven girls. And I bought these amazing gift bags. The
Speaker 1: theme was cherries. They had an indoor pool and a
Speaker 1: jacuzzie at the place, so I bought these amazing gift
Speaker 1: bags that were so cute and not expensive, A cute towel,
Speaker 1: pink flip flops, these cherry pajamas, these cute little cherry
Speaker 1: tank tops, my beauty makeup that I get, like, I
Speaker 1: gave them each like a different makeup thing, this cute
Speaker 1: little heart shaped makeup led mirror that lights up like candy,
Speaker 1: and makeup sponges, and just like a whole bag of
Speaker 1: stuff that entreats and all this stuff. And then I
Speaker 1: got all these different balloons, it said Brinn and like
Speaker 1: heart balloons everywhere, but I lined up the bag so
Speaker 1: they became decor and I bought these literally they were
Speaker 1: like five dollars furry pillows, cherry pillows, and ordered in
Speaker 1: you know, from the pizza chain, like stuffed pizza, and
Speaker 1: like all the garlic wings and knots and cheese stuff
Speaker 1: and just all this great food. And it had a
Speaker 1: little bit of a choreography to it. Meeting, everybody got
Speaker 1: there and then we did food an hour later, and
Speaker 1: then they all wanted to go night swimming, and they
Speaker 1: swam to like eleven, and I made rules that they
Speaker 1: had to be locked in the room. I gave them grounds.
Speaker 1: You cannot run through the hallway and athletic animals. You're
Speaker 1: representing me, and you could be representing anyone, but I
Speaker 1: am a public person and you're not gonna get thrown
Speaker 1: out to hear. I'm not gonna be embarrassing and to
Speaker 1: be respectful. And that's why I got them shoes. I
Speaker 1: didn't want toyone break in their leg or them slipping
Speaker 1: water through. And I got them their own towels so
Speaker 1: we didn't trash the hotel like it was stuff that
Speaker 1: they could keep, but that also was functional for the event.
Speaker 1: And they went down swimming, and Paul realized that our
Speaker 1: room was looking right over the pool, which was amazing,
Speaker 1: so I could see them. They were taking jacuzzi's, they
Speaker 1: were on each other's shoulders doing like those chicken bytes
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. And then they came back and
Speaker 1: I said to bring like, you're not allowed to leave
Speaker 1: the room, like because we weren't next to them. I
Speaker 1: also did because it wouldn't have been fair to us, we
Speaker 1: wouldn't be sleeping. So I wore a cherry sweater, like
Speaker 1: a a Gucci cherry sweater I was. I Paul wore
Speaker 1: red pajamas. I wore red pajamas just because we get
Speaker 1: into the theme of it. I got them cute cupcakes
Speaker 1: that said happy Birthday, Brain. But it wasn't like over
Speaker 1: the top money or anything. It was it was expensive,
Speaker 1: you know, by most American standards, but it wasn't what
Speaker 1: you'd think like I would do. And then and they,
Speaker 1: you know, and they all wanted to hang out in
Speaker 1: our room too, which was so cute, Like they kept
Speaker 1: coming down because Paul and I ordered dinner with my
Speaker 1: assistant and they kept coming down to our room, which
Speaker 1: is like, we're cool, And it was really funny that
Speaker 1: I was like, get out of here, like go live
Speaker 1: your life. And they ended up watching Pitch Perfect and
Speaker 1: another movie, and they went to bed at one point
Speaker 1: thirty in the morning. They were so good. I kept
Speaker 1: worrying that they were gonna be ants all over the
Speaker 1: room because when we had cupcakes, I had seen some
Speaker 1: ants in the room, and I was worried that like
Speaker 1: all the food and they'd be disgusting. And I'd go
Speaker 1: back in the room the next morning to get them
Speaker 1: up because I have a breakfast surprise for them. We
Speaker 1: brought them Dunkin Donuts and then I was like, we're
Speaker 1: going to go to this really cool diner that has
Speaker 1: new telepancakes and like sparklers coming out of them and
Speaker 1: waffles and cake shakes and like crazy stuff you can't imagine.
Speaker 1: And they didn't know that was like literally a birthday
Speaker 1: party all over again. But I went there on my
Speaker 1: social media and I just thought, it's so close to her.
Speaker 1: We have to just finish it off because I just
Speaker 1: always want to do more. My daughter is such a
Speaker 1: grateful person. So that night she thanked me five times
Speaker 1: on text in person, hugging me, telling Paul, thank you
Speaker 1: so much, Mommy, thank you so much, Mommy, it's the
Speaker 1: best birthday ever. She couldn't. She was like exasperated by
Speaker 1: thanking me with thanking with thank yous inside of her.
Speaker 1: And the next morning I went to get the girls
Speaker 1: up and they were respectful, and one of them was
Speaker 1: helping me with the wet towels and they asked me
Speaker 1: if I needed help, and I walked in. Everything was clean,
Speaker 1: The whole room was immaculate. They threw all the pizzas away,
Speaker 1: all the flip flups and shoes were lined up, and
Speaker 1: I walked in, I go, what the hell And one
Speaker 1: of them said that was brand Brindad that she cleaned
Speaker 1: up the room. She made it. You know, she had
Speaker 1: as clean with her because wanted to be respectful like
Speaker 1: she's getting She's thirteen today, and she wanted to be
Speaker 1: respectful like she she knew that she was grateful for
Speaker 1: what had happened. She knew she was a big girl.
Speaker 1: I gave her freedom. It wasn't next to her like
Speaker 1: she thought, We're gonna be in the room next to
Speaker 1: her telling her shut up all night, And I didn't.
Speaker 1: I said it after twelve o'clock. It's not screaming like
Speaker 1: and she did. They just they got the memo. Kids
Speaker 1: want structure, but they also want discipline and like it's
Speaker 1: a give and take. And my daughter really respects me
Speaker 1: and she trusts me, and she won't break that trust.
Speaker 1: She's got it going too good. And I tell her,
Speaker 1: like the party will go on forever. If you're a
Speaker 1: good person, a good girl, you give back. And the
Speaker 1: room was immaculate. And I didn't even need her to
Speaker 1: do that. I just wanted there to be no aunts
Speaker 1: in the room. But she lined up all the shoes
Speaker 1: and I didn't feel embarrassed to checking out. I thought,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm going to check out and like
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a shit shown me be Johnny Depp,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't. It was totally fine, Like I felt
Speaker 1: fine leaving this hotel, and I was proud of her,
Speaker 1: and I was thinking about it for two days straight.
Speaker 1: It's like being an adult. You're happier for the stuff
Speaker 1: that goes on with your kids than your own shit.
Speaker 1: I don't do anything. All I do is think about
Speaker 1: these experiences with her. It gives me purpose. I'm not
Speaker 1: social at all. I get to plan something, I get
Speaker 1: to stuff the bags. It gave me such gratitude. I
Speaker 1: lived for it and I loved it, and like I
Speaker 1: was excited because some of this stuff came shipped late
Speaker 1: and I still have like enough stuff for next time
Speaker 1: or like a next pool party. I don't know. I honestly,
Speaker 1: the thought that I had was like I was never
Speaker 1: had the mothering gene. I never had baby fever, and
Speaker 1: I had a daughter late. I was like in my
Speaker 1: late thirties, never thought about it. So I never had
Speaker 1: the baby fever, and I now can say, in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty hindsight, I was born to be a mother, like
Speaker 1: I Actually, there are many things that I'm bad at
Speaker 1: and there are many things that I'm good at, and
Speaker 1: being a parent is one of them. Like I'm on
Speaker 1: the case, and Brinn has some friends that are faster
Speaker 1: than others, and I am guiding her in the right
Speaker 1: direction who to be friends with. And she has some
Speaker 1: friends whose parents parent like me, and she's attracted to
Speaker 1: those kids too. She's like, I like this kid because
Speaker 1: I like this kid, but I also like the way
Speaker 1: this kid parents them. She feels safe around people who
Speaker 1: have parents that have similar sensibilities, and you know, they're
Speaker 1: at an age now where they're turning towards adulthood, like
Speaker 1: young adulthood, and everything sounds like it's okay. Like you
Speaker 1: they want to do something like why we did it
Speaker 1: last week or why this person does it? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I know it only has happened once. So like they
Speaker 1: take ubers and I'm like, you know, Paul's giving her
Speaker 1: strict uber rules and and we're we don't. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you can't just take ubers, Like there's no just taking ubers.
Speaker 1: You'll take uber as I you and I'll put it
Speaker 1: on your phone, but like you're not just running around
Speaker 1: an uber at thirteen years old. Because I saw her
Speaker 1: and her friends going to get an uber to go somewhere,
Speaker 1: and I saw them wandering around and looking for the guy.
Speaker 1: And that's when you're not you're not focused. You know,
Speaker 1: you're looking down at your phone and you're not focused.
Speaker 1: So they're like advance. It's a weird age where there's
Speaker 1: still kids when they think they're adults. And what I
Speaker 1: was doing at that age is not something to even
Speaker 1: I mean, it's going to I was going to night
Speaker 1: clubs at thirteen years old. It is a fact I
Speaker 1: was doing things I should not be doing. I was
Speaker 1: taking the train in I was an adult. I was
Speaker 1: raised like I was an adult. I was born an
Speaker 1: adult at different times and I don't care. But like
Speaker 1: one of the friends, you know, parents was having a
Speaker 1: birthday party and saying that something they were gonna do
Speaker 1: for the birthday party was gonna let out very late,
Speaker 1: in that the parent wouldn't be present and the kids
Speaker 1: would be sort of in the city at one o'clock
Speaker 1: in the morning, and you know, I just one of
Speaker 1: the parents was in the chat, and I didn't realize
Speaker 1: how many I thought we were in another chat, and
Speaker 1: I like read it late because sometimes I don't read
Speaker 1: all the chatter, and you gotta read the chatter, and
Speaker 1: you gotta connect with the parents, and you gotta be
Speaker 1: on the case. Because one parent felt weird being the
Speaker 1: one to say this doesn't feel appropriate for my child,
Speaker 1: so I chimed in and said it's not appropriate for me.
Speaker 1: And they were like side texts going on with different
Speaker 1: parents thanking me because parents' kids are saying to them.
Speaker 1: But everybody's doing it, and the parents get bullied too,
Speaker 1: like by the kids that they think they're supposed to
Speaker 1: make the kids happy because everybody's advanced, Like everybody's going
Speaker 1: through New York City to Target and CBS and walking
Speaker 1: around the city, which is not the city it used
Speaker 1: to be. And I'm okay with being the dork parent,
Speaker 1: Like I'm fine with that. Like you're not getting in
Speaker 1: an uber unless I know about it and unless I've
Speaker 1: tracked you, and it's an extenuating circumstance, and you're not
Speaker 1: just running around the city and you're not gonna be
Speaker 1: in the city anywhere alone past ten thirty at night,
Speaker 1: like with you have to be have adult supervision anyway.
Speaker 1: But like the horse gets loose, and I was like,
Speaker 1: no way, and I talk to brain I'm explaining to her,
Speaker 1: like it seems okay. One time something happens, your life
Speaker 1: is over, Like there's no unsupervised and I don't care.
Speaker 1: And I know Paul's kid, it's sixteen, isn't allowed to
Speaker 1: be somewhere at ten thirty. I mean at night A
Speaker 1: lot you know, with not not parents, they're kids and
Speaker 1: they should be kids. And I'm on the case completely
Speaker 1: and I like being on the case. But this is
Speaker 1: a job that I feel that I'm good at and
Speaker 1: I feel that I've got I like, I like it.
Speaker 1: If you love something, you'll be good at it. And
Speaker 1: I really love it. So that's what I think about
Speaker 1: parenting in between and all that stuff.