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Speaker 1: Hey, there are folks. It is Monday, August eighteenth, and

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Speaker 1: one of our readers to our Yahoo column Brenda. She

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Speaker 1: wrote in and she needs a little relationship advice. You see,

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Speaker 1: she's a second wife and her husband's grandkids. Well they're

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Speaker 1: not the problem. Actually it's grandma. Yeah, grandma one if

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Speaker 1: you will. So what exactly is a woman to do? Well?

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Speaker 1: My take is, well, this does not have anything to

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Speaker 1: do with anybody being a grandma or a granddad. This

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Speaker 1: is just a classic old X story. And your take

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Speaker 1: Rope initially.

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Speaker 2: Was, uh, this is about respect. So when you have

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Speaker 2: a second wife and you have to have a relationship

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Speaker 2: with your first wife because of your children or your grandchildren, whatever,

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Speaker 2: that is a lot of folks are familiar with this.

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Speaker 2: If the ex is flirty, as Brenda is saying, and

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Speaker 2: touchy feely, then yeah, it's a matter of respect. He

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Speaker 2: needs to have some boundary.

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Speaker 1: So yes, folks, welcome to this relationship edition of Amy

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Speaker 1: and TJ, where we go through the new column of

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Speaker 1: the week, that new column on Yahoo dot com and

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Speaker 1: the life section you can check it out, where we

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Speaker 1: give folks right into us asking questions about relationships and

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Speaker 1: not just about romantic relationships. It could be with a coworker,

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Speaker 1: with a friend, or with a relative of any kind.

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Speaker 1: But we got a new one this week from Brenda

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Speaker 1: and Robe. This has been a They're interesting in the

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Speaker 1: back and forth and some of the details and the

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Speaker 1: ones and the questions we've been getting are a little different,

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Speaker 1: but they all really come down to a core principle

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Speaker 1: and it might just be respect and overwhelmingly the ones

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Speaker 1: we've been getting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting because every problem, every question obviously is different,

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Speaker 2: coming from a different person, from a completely different problem,

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Speaker 2: and yet they all do seem to center. And then

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Speaker 2: I started thinking about conflict in general, and doesn't it

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Speaker 2: usually oftentimes revolve around boundaries and respect and not knowing

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Speaker 2: how to create either, sometimes times from either end. So

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Speaker 2: someone feels slided, someone feels like they're not getting what

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Speaker 2: they need, and that's a lot of the miscommunication. I

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Speaker 2: think that happens because people don't understand each other's needs,

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Speaker 2: or at least they don't care to try and take

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Speaker 2: them into account.

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Speaker 1: And we want to thank everybody who has written in.

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Speaker 1: I guess we're up to eight, nine, ten weeks of

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Speaker 1: this that we've been doing it so far, but I

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Speaker 1: mean it takes a lot to the only giving first

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Speaker 1: names usually not identify themselves fully, but it takes a

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Speaker 1: lot to write in and some of this stuff is

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Speaker 1: incredibly personal. Some of it's embarrassing, you could argue. But

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Speaker 1: nobody likes to feel like they're alone in their problem,

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Speaker 1: but you usually do because you look on Instagram and

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Speaker 1: everybody else's relationship is perfect, So why am I having problems?

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Speaker 1: But really, some of these folks, and some of the

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Speaker 1: answers as well, that the response is people have given

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Speaker 1: have been very thoughtful and open.

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Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, And I think that's the whole reason why

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Speaker 2: we were excited about this, because life is messy and

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Speaker 2: we might not show it to everybody. But when you

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Speaker 2: have the opportunity, perhaps to even be anonymous, you can

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Speaker 2: kind of lean into your problems and recognize that, yes,

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Speaker 2: we all have similar versions of them in our own

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Speaker 2: lives if we're honest with ourselves. So this week's question

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Speaker 2: comes to us from Brenda. How about we go ahead

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Speaker 2: and read it in its entirety. Brenda writes this Amy

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Speaker 2: and TJ. My husband has grandchildren from a previous marriage,

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Speaker 2: which isn't a problem. However, their grandmother. Betty, the ex wife,

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Speaker 2: is always around. I've told him I can tolerate her

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Speaker 2: being there for things like their grandkid's graduation, but not

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Speaker 2: every time we get invited somewhere. For example, last weekend,

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Speaker 2: we were at a birthday party for someone on his

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Speaker 2: side of the family, her ex in law. So she's

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Speaker 2: no longer a part of that family, right, okay, so

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Speaker 2: x in laws? Why is she there? And every time

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Speaker 2: they meet, Betty is hugging and kissing on my husband.

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Speaker 2: She just can't say hi and move along. I've asked

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Speaker 2: him over and over to set boundaries, but he acts

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Speaker 2: like he doesn't know what that means. I told him

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Speaker 2: I am not comfortable going to our next event if

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Speaker 2: she'll be there, and he said, Okay, I'm going anyway. Really,

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Speaker 2: what do I do? Brenda?

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Speaker 1: Your first question is? My first question is how long

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Speaker 1: have you all been together? And how long was the

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Speaker 1: first relationship? I just read again. This has been so

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Speaker 1: interesting to go back and read this and follow along

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Speaker 1: and read it this way. Now I'm thinking about it

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Speaker 1: a lot differently, But that's my first question. How long

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Speaker 1: have you two been married? And then how long was

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Speaker 1: he married to the other? Because it's possible they've got

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Speaker 1: a decade. We're talking about grandchildren. These are her grandchildren.

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Speaker 2: That's fine, and I think that's fine obviously if she

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Speaker 2: wants to be around the grandchildren. But I don't think

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Speaker 2: it should matter how long they were married the X

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Speaker 2: and him versus how long she is with her new husband.

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Speaker 2: They are now the current relationship. It should be the

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Speaker 2: most important relationship, and that should actually everything should trickle

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Speaker 2: down from there. So I don't care what history you have.

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Speaker 2: She's not asking him to be disrespectful, rude, or not

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Speaker 2: pay attention. She's just saying, hey, can she not always

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Speaker 2: be there? And when she's there, can you at least

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Speaker 2: asked her not to touch, hug and kiss you.

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Speaker 1: Let's take about the first problem that you don't want

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Speaker 1: her there in the first does she have to always

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Speaker 1: be there? So this is where my first question comes

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Speaker 1: into play. If this woman, these kids, she's been in

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Speaker 1: this family. We are possibly talking about twenty thirty forty

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Speaker 1: plus years that she has been a part of this

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Speaker 1: family unit. Now you're talking about grandkids. We don't know

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Speaker 1: the ages, but we can assume they're fairly young, some

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Speaker 1: formative years that grandma wants to be around for in

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Speaker 1: every family event, every graduation, every dance, every birthday. Now

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Speaker 1: for the family, it feels like something's missing. Oh, the

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Speaker 1: lady who's been here for the past twenty years, grandma,

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Speaker 1: So I'm saying, so I asked that she might for

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Speaker 1: the rest of the family be family. We don't know

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Speaker 1: anything else. And that's where I started with how long

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Speaker 1: because she should be around I think almost for everything

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Speaker 1: of those are her grandkids.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't issue at all with the fact that

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Speaker 2: ex wife slash grandma wants to be at the family

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Speaker 2: functions and it seems as though is invited to the

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Speaker 2: family functions and guess what new wife wife number two again,

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Speaker 2: don't know how long you've been there. You don't get

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Speaker 2: to decide who comes to other people's parties. So I

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Speaker 2: do believe that, Sorry Brenda, but you don't get a

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Speaker 2: say and whether or not she's there. You don't get

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Speaker 2: to say whether or not she shows up because that's

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Speaker 2: someone else's party, that someone else's graduation, that someone else's celebration,

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Speaker 2: and if they want to invite the X she gets

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Speaker 2: to be there. Now, where I do think Brenda gets

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Speaker 2: to have the say in it is how she her

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Speaker 2: husband interacts with his ex wife. I do think she

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Speaker 2: does get a Saymas, we are.

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Speaker 1: Not going to have any issues there. There is nothing

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Speaker 1: to talk about there. I was trying to take it

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Speaker 1: before we even got to the explosive car. I was

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Speaker 1: trying to take it piecemeal. Let's take out the inappropriate

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Speaker 1: hugging and touching and kissing or whatever. It would be

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Speaker 1: annoying to have her always around, But can you see

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Speaker 1: that possibly understandable that she would.

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Speaker 2: Be Yeah, and I agree it can be annoying, but unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: having been a second wife at least one time around,

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Speaker 2: now that comes with the territory. When you enter into

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Speaker 2: a relationship, and certainly a marriage with somebody who has

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Speaker 2: had a previous family, that comes with him and you

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Speaker 2: just have to accept it. And yes, I know, accepting

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Speaker 2: kids and grandkids is one thing. Accepting an X is

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Speaker 2: a lot harder, and that has to be really difficult.

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Speaker 2: I feel for Brenda that's uncomfortable, that's it feels maybe

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Speaker 2: even alienating. But that's where you just have to suck

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Speaker 2: it up. I do believe you just have to say,

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Speaker 2: this is the man I chose to marry, this is

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Speaker 2: the relationship I chose to enter in, and it comes

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Speaker 2: with a history, and it comes with, for lack of

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Speaker 2: a better term, baggage, and that is something I've accepted

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Speaker 2: by marrying him, Okay.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not we are absolutely going to get to

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Speaker 1: the inappropriate, the hugging and the kissing and being too

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Speaker 1: close wrapping up though this idea just to her presence,

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Speaker 1: what do you do here? I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: How disrespectful and hurtful this can be. If she told

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Speaker 1: him how uncomfortable she is that she does not want

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Speaker 1: to go to the next event if the ex is

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Speaker 1: going to be there, his response being well, I'm going anyway.

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Speaker 1: There's got to be more to that conversation, because that's

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Speaker 1: obviously the wrong thing to say.

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Speaker 2: Clearly, we don't know how she said it to him,

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Speaker 2: so oftentimes we I mean, anyone who's been in a

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Speaker 2: relationship knows. So I'm the one who's upset. I kind

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Speaker 2: of draw an ultimatum if she doesn't stop acting like that,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be at the next party, and

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Speaker 2: I don't want us to go if she's going to

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Speaker 2: be there, and he kind of gets annoyed that she's

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Speaker 2: drawing an ultimatum, and so he says, I'm going anyway.

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Speaker 2: You can see how that may have happened or escalated

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Speaker 2: to that point.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So so to that part of the conversation. Look,

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Speaker 1: the first part about her being around all the time, Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's some stuff you just got to deal with. This

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Speaker 1: next part about you've got to have a more respectful

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Speaker 1: conversation than that. It can't be. I don't want you

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Speaker 1: to go, well, I'm going anyway, end of story and

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Speaker 1: end of relationship. You just you can't resolve anything no

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Speaker 1: matter what you're talking about it. If you want to

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Speaker 1: watch her tonight, I want to watch comedy, Okay, you

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Speaker 1: go to that room. I goes that's not resolution of

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Speaker 1: any kind. So you can't do that. This next part though,

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Speaker 1: about the touchy feely, that doesn't necessarily make sense to me, sweetheart,

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Speaker 1: because there's no one who would accept that in any relationship.

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Speaker 2: Period.

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Speaker 1: They just won't. So I don't I don't know why

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Speaker 1: that's a debate of any kind, is she? I almost

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Speaker 1: feel and I'm not knocking you here, Brenda for this

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Speaker 1: for writing in it. Almost that's gotta be. It sounds

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Speaker 1: so nuts as I feel like it's a misrepresentation, like

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Speaker 1: maybe it's not that bad. So I'm trying to take

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Speaker 1: Brenda at her word because I just don't understand how

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Speaker 1: anybody would do this in front of their spouse be

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Speaker 1: lovey dovey with an X.

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Speaker 2: Well, maybe he's not being lovey dovey, but he's not

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Speaker 2: stopping her from being lovey dovey. And I can look

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Speaker 2: at it from a female perspective, and I could see

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Speaker 2: a scenario in which Brenda's husband's ex her name is Betty,

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Speaker 2: So I can see a scenario in which Betty feels

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Speaker 2: her power. Betty knows she's pissing off Brenda. Betty knows

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Speaker 2: it's upsetting Brenda. And how many first wives like the

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Speaker 2: second wives and vice versa. That's a very difficult. I

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Speaker 2: wouldn't want to call it a relationship situationship because it

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Speaker 2: only happens when the two have to be in the

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Speaker 2: same room together. So there is a bit of a

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Speaker 2: power struggle that sometimes happens between the former and the

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Speaker 2: current wife. And so I wouldn't put it past Betty,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know her to lean into that because

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Speaker 2: she knows, she knows she's getting under Brenda's skin and

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Speaker 2: it's a power play, and the problem is the husband

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Speaker 2: isn't stopping it. The husband isn't saying Betty, you can't

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Speaker 2: keep coming up to me like this. Obviously it's not appropriate.

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Speaker 2: Can you please just keep our contact. We can be

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Speaker 2: as friendly and as cordial as we possibly can, but please,

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Speaker 2: please please, let's let's not hug and kiss upsetting my wife.

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Speaker 1: So now you've gotten to the dude part of it,

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Speaker 1: I can understand, because the first part of that I

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Speaker 1: didn't because it's not where a guy's head would ever be.

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Speaker 1: I would this whole thing we've been I don't know.

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Speaker 1: This question came to us and we answered this weeks

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Speaker 1: ago for the column. It's never crossed my mind, this

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Speaker 1: idea that women would be in some kind of powerful well.

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Speaker 2: That's hilarious. It just doesn't first thing that pops in.

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Speaker 1: You're right, and it makes sense now as you've said it.

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Speaker 1: But my mind doesn't go there, and guy's minds maybe

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Speaker 1: don't necessarily go there. But when you said that, okay,

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Speaker 1: that so that's a whole new dynamic women within it.

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Speaker 2: Two minutes, it might even be ninety seconds if meeting

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Speaker 2: one another kind of know if they're going to like

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Speaker 2: each other or not. I don't know what it is.

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Speaker 2: It's this energy read that sometimes happened, and it doesn't

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Speaker 2: happen between all women, but certainly women who are in

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Speaker 2: adversarial roles. And I would argue that a first wife

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Speaker 2: and a second wife are just almost in a way,

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Speaker 2: in a competitive role. Not everybody, so I can get

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Speaker 2: along very well.

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Speaker 1: But by its very nature.

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Speaker 2: Ye yes, just like from a like, just not even

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Speaker 2: taking from a personal or specific point, just generally speaking,

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Speaker 2: that could potentially be a powder keg an adversarial relationship.

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Speaker 2: So then you add to it someone putting a little

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Speaker 2: power play to it. That that is deliberate, that is

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Speaker 2: not accidental, that is not whoopsie.

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Speaker 1: So all right, you're saying this is what Betty's doing.

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Speaker 2: I think this is, but Brenda is taking the bait.

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Speaker 1: Oh go, go all we don't know Betty.

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Speaker 2: And husband needs to step up.

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Speaker 1: Okay. So here's the thing I told you. That was

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Speaker 1: the part I absolutely couldn't relate to when you started

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Speaker 1: talking about that, But then you got to the dude

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Speaker 1: part of it. So now let me tell you the

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Speaker 1: part of this all guys absolutely can relate to.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to this edition of Amy and TJ. It's

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Speaker 2: the Ask Amy and TJ edition of our podcast where

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Speaker 2: we are going over our latest column in Yahoo on

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Speaker 2: the Life section. This question, relationship question, came to us

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Speaker 2: from Brenda. She is not happy about her husband's ex wife,

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Speaker 2: the first wife, how she acts around her husband. And

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Speaker 2: apparently the ex wife, whose name is Betty, is around

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Speaker 2: all the time. See, they share grandkids together, and there

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Speaker 2: are lots of moments where the families all come together,

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Speaker 2: and Brenda isn't having how Betty is acting around her husband,

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Speaker 2: and her husband seems to be doing nothing about it

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Speaker 2: at all.

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Speaker 1: And let's not put words in Brenda's mouth here. Where

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Speaker 1: is it about the hugging and kissing Here? Every time

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Speaker 1: they meet, Betty is hugging and kissing on my husband.

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Speaker 1: She can't just say hi and move along. That's the

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Speaker 1: only description we've got of the behavior is she is

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Speaker 1: hugging and kissing on my husband. Now, the part I

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Speaker 1: didn't understand you said, immediately when you saw this scenario,

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Speaker 1: you thought this was women going at it, and maybe

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Speaker 1: that's something that women listening to this immediately recognized that.

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Speaker 1: Me as a guy, I did until you said, look.

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Speaker 2: I'd love it if it weren't true. And I am

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Speaker 2: certainly taking or making some assumptions here, but my thought

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Speaker 2: is that, yes, first wife just putting a little power

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Speaker 2: play on second wife, and it wouldn't be surprising to

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Speaker 2: me if she was doing it deliberately because she can see.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, you can tell if someone is

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Speaker 2: irritated or annoyed or you're pissing them off. And so

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Speaker 2: I think that possibly Betty might be getting a little

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Speaker 2: enjoyment out of upsetting Brenda.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so you said that once you said, I'm like, okay, yes,

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Speaker 1: that makes perfect sense, but my mind didn't go there. However,

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Speaker 1: I have been struggling robes to understand why this guy.

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Speaker 1: This is very simple to shut this down, like, it's

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Speaker 1: very easy. This is the woman you want to be with.

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Speaker 1: Now you've committed to her. You all are married. There's

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Speaker 1: nothing else there is. I don't you know what. Of all,

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Speaker 1: there's not a woman in the world that should be

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Speaker 1: hugging and kissing on him in front of his wife.

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Speaker 2: Not one, you know what. I so agree with you.

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Speaker 2: Maybe his mother or his sister, Okay, and that's it.

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Speaker 1: But of all women in the world, the last one

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Speaker 1: to be doing it should be his ex wife in

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Speaker 1: front of his current wife. So I am confused as

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Speaker 1: to why that's possible. And then you put that scenario

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Speaker 1: in my head, and I'm like, Oh, he's loving the attention.

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Speaker 2: And that's what I think. I think this is loveing Meg.

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Speaker 2: Who doesn't slightly in the back of their mind, doesn't

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Speaker 2: want to admit it, but doesn't who doesn't like being

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Speaker 2: fought over? You're so valuable. You've got two women who

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Speaker 2: are clearly fighting for you or over you, and maybe

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Speaker 2: in some way that feels kind of good.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I know I want to give him the benefit

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Speaker 1: of the doubt, but I cannot make any sense out

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Speaker 1: of why he would allow and this to go on.

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Speaker 1: You you don't have to even put your ex wife

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Speaker 1: in check. This is just a matter of no, You're

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Speaker 1: not going to participate in anything like that in front

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Speaker 1: of your wife. I don't understand it. And then you

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Speaker 1: put that scenario, So maybe that is the best thing

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Speaker 1: I can come up with to explain why he would

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Speaker 1: let this go on.

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Speaker 2: Well, part of my advice to Brenda was to put

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Speaker 2: it to him like this, can you reverse the roles?

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Speaker 2: Can you imagine if a man who I had slept with,

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Speaker 2: had children with, share grandchildren with, is now coming up

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Speaker 2: in front of you and kissing me and hugging me

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Speaker 2: and being touchy feely and not just saying hi and by,

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Speaker 2: but lingering and flirting, how would you feel like? Just

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Speaker 2: put yourself in that position and imagine how that would

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Speaker 2: make you feel as a partner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and the answer is pretty simple. So this one

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Speaker 1: seemed very simple. Obviously, their details or whatnot we cannot

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Speaker 1: We will never know. But this is a simple matter

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Speaker 1: we go through about respect, and we have all learned lessons.

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Speaker 1: We've all been disrespected in relationships. We've all inadvertently sometimes

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Speaker 1: and some people just do it blatantly with disrespect and relationships.

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Speaker 1: But that is so so key. And here's another example,

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Speaker 1: and again that it's common ropes. Like I said, we

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Speaker 1: all deal with this thing about respect. The scenarios have

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Speaker 1: to do with it, even if some of the details.

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Speaker 2: Change exactly, it comes down to the same theme. What

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Speaker 2: would you What did you tell Betty to do? What

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Speaker 2: should she do? I think that she should say something.

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Speaker 2: The worst thing she could do is say nothing and

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Speaker 2: just have this resentment. I know she's already said something,

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Speaker 2: and she's already kind of drawn an ultimatum. But I

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Speaker 2: think she needs to actually explain to her husband how

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Speaker 2: she feels, ask him to reverse the rules and ask

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Speaker 2: him how he would feel, and get him to understand

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Speaker 2: how devastating it feels to her, and how scary it

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Speaker 2: feels to her, and how threatening it feels to her.

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Speaker 2: I know it's hard sometimes too. Instead of just we

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Speaker 2: all want to point the fingers that you did this,

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Speaker 2: and you didn't do this, and you should do this.

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Speaker 2: But instead instead of saying, you start with I. I know,

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Speaker 2: I well, that sounds very like something you've learned in therapy,

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Speaker 2: but it certainly is. If you say, I am feeling

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Speaker 2: really vulnerable, I'm feeling really threatened, and when you allow

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Speaker 2: this to happen, it scares me. I feel like somehow

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Speaker 2: our relationship is threatened. Please, please, please, can you help

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Speaker 2: me by doing this and say it in a sweet way,

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Speaker 2: in a loving way, And because I want a relationship

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Speaker 2: to continue to grow and flourish, this is this is

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Speaker 2: really causing a major problem for me.

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Speaker 1: But you can imagine there's probably some insecurity in that

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Speaker 1: he was with this woman, and we could only get

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Speaker 1: we're talking about grandkids, somebody he was with twenty thirty

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Speaker 1: plus years in all likelihood, how long has he been

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Speaker 1: married to this woman? Now? Probably not that long, if

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Speaker 1: you could argue she probably does still feel some competition

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Speaker 1: or this is so yeah, he has all now she

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Speaker 1: has the witness all this he established in a family.

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Speaker 2: And you know what's happening in front of everyone too,

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Speaker 2: which I think adds to it. It adds to that

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Speaker 2: feeling of yeah, of vulnerability that somehow everyone else has

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Speaker 2: this long standing history together and you're the odd man out,

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Speaker 2: and so I just I would hope that he could

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Speaker 2: be sensitive to what that feels like going into another

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Speaker 2: family that has roots that you don't have.

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Speaker 1: You know what that is? You know, that's a good

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Speaker 1: lesson to everybody. Look, you and I. Look, there's a

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Speaker 1: reason people come up to us on the street and

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Speaker 1: people write to us here. No matter what people think

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Speaker 1: about our relationship and how it started, it's something we

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Speaker 1: are proud of, despite the lie that's been told about

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Speaker 1: our relationship and how it started. But so many people

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Speaker 1: walk up to us and are constantly having a conversation

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Speaker 1: about what should I do? I went through this, it

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Speaker 1: becomes a safe place, and this woman as well, and

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Speaker 1: asking this question. We have all dealt with and you

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Speaker 1: and I have dealt with me bringing you into an

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Speaker 1: environment or you bringing me into an environment where you

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Speaker 1: always feel kind of on edge, like you're being pulled

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Speaker 1: in this direction. I've got to make sure my new

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Speaker 1: person's happy, or I got to make sure my family's happy.

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Speaker 1: I got to make sure everybody's getting along. That's tough,

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Speaker 1: what they've laid out here with grand children, all this

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Speaker 1: stuff and all this scenario is something a bunch of

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Speaker 1: us deal with. Yeah, you're trying to balance. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I deal with this with you and Sabine. Sometimes not

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Speaker 1: the case anymore. I want to make sure I'm giving

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Speaker 1: the right amount of attention to you and to her,

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Speaker 1: and that we're all getting enough attention together. These things,

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Speaker 1: it's just there. And this sounds like one of those

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Speaker 1: scenarios on a bunch grander scale. Yeah, and that's uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: It's awkward, and it takes like trust and time and

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Speaker 1: sometimes years to get to a comfortable spot.

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Speaker 2: I think that's so well said, babe, and it's something

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Speaker 2: that so many people deal with. And I think at

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Speaker 2: the end of the day, if you have chosen this

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Speaker 2: person to spend your life with, you have to put

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Speaker 2: them first. And it doesn't mean you have to be

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Speaker 2: disrespectful to anyone else who's important in your life, but

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Speaker 2: you have to put that relationship first and understand and

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Speaker 2: respect each other's needs and but you have to communicate

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Speaker 2: them effectively and not emotionally. And that's really hard to

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Speaker 2: do sometimes.

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Speaker 1: And that's a balance, right, he should be respecting maybe

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Speaker 1: his marriage more. She maybe should be respecting his history,

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Speaker 1: his family has passed a little more. There's a balance there.

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Speaker 1: These two could be okay, But that's a tough one.

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Speaker 1: We've all I didn't think again, this stuff hits me

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Speaker 1: once we start doing this, even though we've thought about

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Speaker 1: this scenario before, but it hits me here and never

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Speaker 1: really put us in, all of us in that scenario. Interesting.

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Speaker 2: Well, we want to thank Brenda for writing in and

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Speaker 2: we want to actually encourage any of you listening to this.

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Speaker 2: Please please please go look at the column, read all

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Speaker 2: through it, and then leave a comment because we'll follow

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Speaker 2: up later this week. We'll go through all of your comments.

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Speaker 2: You all have amazing advice and sometimes it has some

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Speaker 2: very funny anecdotal just experiences that relate to this, We

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Speaker 2: appreciate it. It just it's nice to have everyone talking, communicating,

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Speaker 2: understanding each other and maybe learning something in the process.

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Speaker 1: And don't be mean. We appreciate you being open and honest.

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Speaker 1: Some people have been very open, yes, and admitting some

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Speaker 1: things in our own past to relate, so we appreciate that.

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Speaker 1: Don't be means of these folks. We're all trying to

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00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 1: give everybody, the husband, the wife, and the ex wife.

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Speaker 1: Everybody has the benefit of the that.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to believe everyone who listens to this podcast

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Speaker 2: is not one of the mean ones. They're one of

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Speaker 2: the good ones.

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Speaker 1: Right, And please feel free to leave your We'll give

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Speaker 1: you credit with your name and a locator if you

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00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,400
Speaker 1: can tell us where you are, it would be nice

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Speaker 1: to know where in the country you are you write.

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Speaker 2: It all right, Well, thank you all for listening to

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Speaker 2: us today. We hope you have a wonderful Monday and

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Speaker 2: rest of your week, and we'll see us soon.