Speaker 1: I Suck Dating with Denglert and Dared Haven and I
Speaker 1: heard radio podcast What's going on? Everyone? Welcome to an
Speaker 1: all new installment of help I Suck at Dating. We've
Speaker 1: got a great episode for you today, a great guest, Lisa.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna but your last name bill You? Oh well done? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's perfect. You heard that, Lisa, bill You is here
Speaker 1: joining us. She is a boss you you. It's funny
Speaker 1: because you've got a lot of superheroes behind you, all
Speaker 1: female superheroes, and I feel like you perfectly exemplify that
Speaker 1: in everyday life. Just judging by your bio here, Um,
Speaker 1: you are the co founder of Quest Nutrition, uh, co
Speaker 1: founder of President Impact Theory. So, Lisa, what else have
Speaker 1: you been up to? Because it sounds like you're a busy,
Speaker 1: busy girl. How much? Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1: I'm like super excited to be here with you guys.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I've just been in a book and
Speaker 1: it's kind of crazy. Everything I do in my life,
Speaker 1: I'm always thinking I'm the new b Who am I
Speaker 1: to into this field? Um? And that's kind of part
Speaker 1: of my journey where I came from eight years of
Speaker 1: being a supportive wife, just taking care of my husband,
Speaker 1: coming back from a Greek Orthodox family that was kind
Speaker 1: of what I thought I would fall into. Um and
Speaker 1: being stuck for eight years and really realizing that wasn't
Speaker 1: what the life I wanted and that I had lost
Speaker 1: all my hopes and my dreams and um so I
Speaker 1: got thrust into a startup company called Quest Nutrition. We
Speaker 1: grew up fifty seven percent, and in that process I
Speaker 1: learned and fell in love with the progression of change
Speaker 1: and the and the journey of learning something new. So
Speaker 1: I actually pride myself on being the person that tries
Speaker 1: different things even if I think I'm going to fail,
Speaker 1: to see how I love it, to see how it fits.
Speaker 1: So I'm currently you've caught me on my journey of
Speaker 1: having written my first book and graduation. That's azing. And
Speaker 1: like I think people, I mean, that's a quest bars.
Speaker 1: First of all, my favorite, of my favorite is cookies
Speaker 1: and cream. But like Quest as massive. If you go
Speaker 1: to any gym, you have a quest bar there. I mean, like,
Speaker 1: I don't think it can be understated how big this
Speaker 1: company is. Yes, it was even surprising to us. So
Speaker 1: you know, I had, like I said, I it was
Speaker 1: to stay at home wife. I was very traditional or
Speaker 1: take care of my husband. I was cooking, I was
Speaker 1: cleaning for him, and um, he was trying to go
Speaker 1: out and you know, start on an entrepreneurial journey, and
Speaker 1: he hated what he was doing. And so we just
Speaker 1: committed to changing our lives to doing something that actually
Speaker 1: filled up and that's predicated on passion and purpose. And
Speaker 1: so him and his business partners at the time, they
Speaker 1: had built this like tech company that they all hated,
Speaker 1: and so they said, what would we do every single day?
Speaker 1: It was predicated on passion and purpose. We can get
Speaker 1: up every day for that, and so that turned into
Speaker 1: a health protein bar. Me being the supportive wife, I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'll help you, babe what you need.
Speaker 1: And so it just started off like, oh, just handmake
Speaker 1: bars with like knives and rolling pins and you know,
Speaker 1: just ship a couple of bars from your living room floor.
Speaker 1: That's okay. Now, we didn't expect to grow at fifty
Speaker 1: seven thousand percent. So we went from um, you know,
Speaker 1: zero to a billion dollar company within five years. We
Speaker 1: went from zero to a billion dollar company in five years,
Speaker 1: a billion wild so we um, yes. So it was
Speaker 1: definitely a ride and all the longer the way, I
Speaker 1: didn't know what I was doing, and I was very insecure,
Speaker 1: and I was facing my inadequacies on a daily basis,
Speaker 1: and so I get asked so much, Now, how do
Speaker 1: you find your confidence? How did you go from being
Speaker 1: stuck for eight years, you know, not loving your life
Speaker 1: to not having a purpose to where you are now?
Speaker 1: And everyone thinks it's confidence, And that's why I had
Speaker 1: to write the book, because it's not confidence. I was
Speaker 1: so scared all along the way, and so I was like,
Speaker 1: what people see is that I show up. And I
Speaker 1: was like, that's what I have to really write about
Speaker 1: because that's very authentic to me. I'm still insecure even
Speaker 1: with this book. I've never written a book before. So
Speaker 1: while on Earth, I think that I'm going to come
Speaker 1: in and crush writing a book. I mean, you be.
Speaker 1: I give myself the grace to be to have the
Speaker 1: day one of every any new venture I start. So
Speaker 1: that's where the growth of quest. When I was thrown
Speaker 1: into the deep end, I had a choice. We had
Speaker 1: our house up for collateral, and it was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: if you don't know this thing that you're facing, this obstacle,
Speaker 1: this massive hurdle. You have a choice, Lisa. You either
Speaker 1: learn it or you lose your house. And so that
Speaker 1: became a great motivator. But as we all know, that
Speaker 1: isn't sustainable. So that's where my growth went. From saving
Speaker 1: my house help the company too. Then as Quest started
Speaker 1: to get bigger, we were getting letters from like the
Speaker 1: anorexic community, who was saying, thank you for giving me
Speaker 1: something that now allows me to be okay with calowns again.
Speaker 1: You know, we were helping the diabetic community. There was
Speaker 1: one woman being parents, or there was one woman who
Speaker 1: reached out and said, my kid is that type one diabetic,
Speaker 1: and I the horrible mother that has to keep ripping
Speaker 1: candy cupcakes out of his hands when he's at these
Speaker 1: play dates. But his his insulin doesn't spike when he
Speaker 1: eats a QUEST bar. So thank you because you've made
Speaker 1: me feel like a better mother. That stuff becomes real.
Speaker 1: That goes from acting in fear of making sure you
Speaker 1: overcome obstacles. You keep getting back up every time you
Speaker 1: fail because you're so scared to lose your house too.
Speaker 1: Then go, if I show up today, I could actually
Speaker 1: save a life. If I show up today, I can
Speaker 1: actually change your life, and am I really going to
Speaker 1: let my own insecurity affect me because I don't know
Speaker 1: how to be a boss, or I don't know how
Speaker 1: to ship a palette, or I don't even know how
Speaker 1: what a palette is. That's where I started. I literally
Speaker 1: ran to Google and I was like, what on earth
Speaker 1: it's a palette? Because the ups driver told me I'd
Speaker 1: actually be more productive if I used a palette. But
Speaker 1: I didn't know what I was doing, and I just
Speaker 1: kept growing and learning every day. Um, and so that's
Speaker 1: kind of I've got I've got a question for you.
Speaker 1: So you said it's not about confidence, but your book
Speaker 1: is titled Radical Confidence, So can you explain? Can you
Speaker 1: explain that a little bit? Absolutely? So. The radical part
Speaker 1: of it is not feeling great about yourself, yourself for
Speaker 1: doing it anyway. So when people approach me and they
Speaker 1: say I really want confidence, I say to do what?
Speaker 1: Because we so focus on the confidence part, which to
Speaker 1: me is that they feel good. But ultimately that isn't
Speaker 1: the end goal, right. Most people want confidence in order
Speaker 1: to do something. I want the confidence so I can
Speaker 1: show up on camera. I want confidence to start my
Speaker 1: own podcast. I want confidence to start my own business.
Speaker 1: I want confidence to tell my parents I no longer
Speaker 1: want to study biochemistry and I want to be a
Speaker 1: stand up comedian. Like it's always they need confidence in
Speaker 1: order to do something, and so I might the rather
Speaker 1: the whole point of radical confidence and then the ten
Speaker 1: no bs because it's no been it's not easy, it's
Speaker 1: very difficult. But the tend no previous lessons on how
Speaker 1: to live the life you want is Okay, you may
Speaker 1: feel scared, but step one, if you want to tell
Speaker 1: your parents that you no longer want to study, you
Speaker 1: know what you're studying. What's that first step? You have
Speaker 1: to process the decision yourself right, So it's not how
Speaker 1: do you feel good about yourself, it's take that first step.
Speaker 1: So to me, the book is a blueprint. It is
Speaker 1: you may feel scared, but don't worry. You're going to
Speaker 1: get the confidence by the end of it. But to me,
Speaker 1: confidence is the byproduct. You get confidence by starting something,
Speaker 1: you by trying it out, by falling on your face,
Speaker 1: by getting back up, by then getting more competent, And
Speaker 1: it's within the competence that eventually leads to the confidence.
Speaker 1: So the whole point of the book is saying guys,
Speaker 1: I get it. I was so freaking scared too. But
Speaker 1: you can have radical confidence, which means you can be scared,
Speaker 1: you can be insecure, but don't worry. You can take
Speaker 1: these steps in order to get to the end goal,
Speaker 1: which is the confidence and then feeling good and having
Speaker 1: the life you actually want. There's a book that was
Speaker 1: owned by a foreign executive producer of The Bachelor's name
Speaker 1: is a Line Gail. He's a very insightful human being,
Speaker 1: and he wrote a book called You're not that great,
Speaker 1: and neither is anybody else. But it's but it's such
Speaker 1: a great message because this whole overall message is listen,
Speaker 1: you're not that special, But I got news for you.
Speaker 1: Nobody is. You can do whatever anybody else is doing
Speaker 1: if you just recognize that fact. And I think you
Speaker 1: speak a lot on that. Which I love is that,
Speaker 1: like I love yourself awareness where you're like, I didn't
Speaker 1: know what I was doing. I felt so insecure. I
Speaker 1: just had to do it and I ended up doing it,
Speaker 1: and then the confidence part came later. And I think
Speaker 1: there's so many examples that you give that. I you know,
Speaker 1: even in a minuscule like this is gonna sound so
Speaker 1: ridiculous because you were the co founder of a billion
Speaker 1: dollar company. But here we go. We do karaoke on
Speaker 1: Friday nights at Audrey's and a buddy of mine who
Speaker 1: works there. I was like, why don't you go up
Speaker 1: and sing? He's like, no, man, I could never do that,
Speaker 1: Like I can't do it. I'm too insecure, Like I
Speaker 1: don't have the confidence. And I just remember thinking he
Speaker 1: he was so terrified, like he was like, I could
Speaker 1: never go up there and just sing, and I was like,
Speaker 1: yeah you can, Like, yeah you can. So many people
Speaker 1: go up there and suck like it doesn't matter. We're
Speaker 1: all having fun. So like I think as minuscule an
Speaker 1: example as that is, like, of course you're not gonna
Speaker 1: have confidence. You're not a singer, man, But like, if
Speaker 1: you want to go up and sing, just go up
Speaker 1: and do it, and then like the more times you
Speaker 1: do it, the easier it gets, and the more you're
Speaker 1: fun you'll have at it, and then the better you'll
Speaker 1: probably become. I don't think that's minuscule at all. I
Speaker 1: think that's so freaking powerful because I it wasn't karaoke singing,
Speaker 1: but it was speaking on stage. I was getting asked
Speaker 1: all the timely, so do you know when you do
Speaker 1: speaking it? I'm petrified. I'm like, why would I put
Speaker 1: myself in a position to stand on stage and tell
Speaker 1: I'm going to freeze? And so I kept saying no.
Speaker 1: I kept saying no. And then one time my husband,
Speaker 1: who I've been we're about to celebrate our twenty year
Speaker 1: wedding annivers week. We have a relationship where we're very
Speaker 1: honest with each other and it's like, hey, look, you've
Speaker 1: told me what you want in life, and part of
Speaker 1: my responsibility is to hold you accountable. So if I
Speaker 1: see you not acting accordance, do we give each other
Speaker 1: permission to call each other out? And we said yes.
Speaker 1: And so for me, I really want to create impacts.
Speaker 1: We've their decayed on our company to it. That's why
Speaker 1: I show up every day, even when I'm scared and petrified.
Speaker 1: But he said, hey, right now you're saying no to
Speaker 1: all these public speaking gigs. You realize that doesn't align
Speaker 1: with your goal, right, And so I was like, oh god,
Speaker 1: he's right. So I had to sit there and go
Speaker 1: okay with no judgment because I actually don't judge myself
Speaker 1: for saying no. I don't want to do it because
Speaker 1: I want to feel good about myself, but I have
Speaker 1: to process it. So to me, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: why am I not getting on stage? I'm petrified? Okay,
Speaker 1: why am I petrified? Because I'm worried I'm going to fail.
Speaker 1: I won't. People are gonna make fun of me. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is the ego talking. Now. Why should I get
Speaker 1: on stage? Because it's my mission? Is the thing that
Speaker 1: I say that I get the reason why I get
Speaker 1: up every day? And now with no judgment, knowing these
Speaker 1: two avenues that I can take which one is more
Speaker 1: important my ego on my goals, and now I can
Speaker 1: just make a decision. Now the point of this decision
Speaker 1: is so that in five or ten years I don't
Speaker 1: turn around. It's like I can't believe I have an
Speaker 1: impacted people. No, No, I can say, oh, Lisa, you
Speaker 1: made this decision back in the day to not one
Speaker 1: to not get on stage and impact people. And that
Speaker 1: was a conscious decision. So I process decisions, but I
Speaker 1: don't necessarily even though I decide to get on stage,
Speaker 1: it's the whole different scenario of actually getting on stage. Right,
Speaker 1: It's like I don't know if You guys have done
Speaker 1: public speaking before, but it is petrifying. So just to
Speaker 1: say I'm going to do it and actually do it,
Speaker 1: it's actually night and day. And when you have crippling anxiety,
Speaker 1: telling someone to do it anyway doesn't work. And so
Speaker 1: I realized I had to come up with a system
Speaker 1: to get out of my own way. So I decided yes,
Speaker 1: impact is my north star. It's way more freaking important
Speaker 1: to me than feeling good about myself. So how on
Speaker 1: earth now that I've made this decision, how on earth
Speaker 1: do I actually get it on stage? And this is
Speaker 1: what I talk about in my book. It's a step
Speaker 1: by step. Okay, Lisa, what are you fearful? Listen to
Speaker 1: the voice in the negative voice in my head, all
Speaker 1: the things it's telling me. What is it saying? All right? Lisa, Um,
Speaker 1: you just can't even bring yourself to saying yes because
Speaker 1: the idea of saying yes it is so petrifying. Great,
Speaker 1: let me address that. Okay, team, next time someone reaches
Speaker 1: out and asked me to do public speaking, you have
Speaker 1: to say yes without coming to me. So now I've
Speaker 1: come up with an idea, a strategy in order to
Speaker 1: just say yes. Then how are you going to step
Speaker 1: on stage? I have? In fact, let's talk about kids
Speaker 1: for a second. Give a kid a kid, what do
Speaker 1: they do? They run around like they're Superman superheroes. Right
Speaker 1: this in the air, I'm going in to say, the
Speaker 1: day they embody the emotion. Why did we get rid
Speaker 1: of that as adults? Like? It's such a oh that right,
Speaker 1: neither have I Hence the statue is behind me. But
Speaker 1: that's the point where it's like, Oh, if we know
Speaker 1: instinctually as humans we can put something on and embody
Speaker 1: a different feeling, how do I use that as an
Speaker 1: adult to my advantage on this thing that I'm petrified?
Speaker 1: What's my version of my cape? And so I it's
Speaker 1: my hair, it's my style, it's my necklace. Even this necklace,
Speaker 1: which we were talking about Wonder Woman before. I know
Speaker 1: that repetition creates habit. So I said to myself, I
Speaker 1: need to get on stage. What are the things I
Speaker 1: can do in order to courage myself? Okay, for the
Speaker 1: month leading up to it, every time I put on
Speaker 1: this necklace every morning, I'm going to repeat to myself,
Speaker 1: you're badass like Wonder Woman, and I'm just gonna repeat it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if this strategy is gonna work, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to give it a shot. And so every morning,
Speaker 1: without fail, I was putting it on, telling myself that
Speaker 1: I was badass like wonder Woman. Flash to a month later,
Speaker 1: I'm about to get on stage. What have I done
Speaker 1: to my mind? I've hard wired that every time I
Speaker 1: put on this necklace, I embody a thing, and so
Speaker 1: I go and so I go into it with all
Speaker 1: very very deliberate to overcome this anxiety that I have.
Speaker 1: And I don't want to hide. I don't want to
Speaker 1: lie to anyone about the fact that I'm petrified to
Speaker 1: go on stage because I actually because I believe in
Speaker 1: mindset I'm preaching. Proud of myself that I showed up.
Speaker 1: The speech wasn't great. It was like my first speech.
Speaker 1: It was a ted talk and I wasn't fantastic. I
Speaker 1: totally messed up on stage while I was on stage
Speaker 1: as well, But I told myself if I mess up,
Speaker 1: have a backup plan. That backup plan was laugh at yourself.
Speaker 1: And so I get on stage, I laugh at myself.
Speaker 1: And when I got off all of this story, I
Speaker 1: just told you. What I've done is I reinforced in
Speaker 1: my mind. I was the person that was scared to
Speaker 1: get on stage. I was the person that used to
Speaker 1: say no, And now I'm the person that says yes
Speaker 1: even though I'm scared. That's radical company, It's that's amazing.
Speaker 1: And I can't wait to read this book because when
Speaker 1: you were talking about the Wonder Woman necklace, I related
Speaker 1: so much because the past few months I felt very
Speaker 1: I felt my most down or insecure because I just
Speaker 1: haven't had time to work out. I haven't had time
Speaker 1: to myself between starting the business and you know, obviously
Speaker 1: having my wife and child, Like, I just felt really
Speaker 1: uh not myself, and so I was trying to figure
Speaker 1: out a way to like, for lack of a better
Speaker 1: wear way like feel more like powerful. So I was
Speaker 1: looking up Superman shirts online because I knew that if
Speaker 1: I swear to god, I was looking up Superman shirts
Speaker 1: and I was like, I, I don't feel confident right now,
Speaker 1: but I know that like putting on a Superman shirt,
Speaker 1: as weird as it sounds, is gonna like play a
Speaker 1: trick on my mind to like give you any more
Speaker 1: confidence subconsciously, and so, uh yeah, So that's kind of funny.
Speaker 1: That's like, that's like your Wonder Woman necklace. Belisa fun
Speaker 1: a little anecdote about Jared as well. So we were
Speaker 1: on the show The Bachelorette, and everyone has like a
Speaker 1: unique entrance into the show, us Jared's. Jared's entrance was
Speaker 1: he ripped his shirt open and on his shirt it
Speaker 1: said love Man, because he was ready to be the
Speaker 1: superhero of love. Yeah. No, they like, thank god, they
Speaker 1: just like skipped right over that, which is fantastic because
Speaker 1: I'll never forget. You know. It was a collaborative, collaborative effort,
Speaker 1: I'll just say on that idea of having like because
Speaker 1: they knew I was a big superhero fan, so they
Speaker 1: had the Superman symbol, but instead of an S, there
Speaker 1: is an L. And it was like, oh, you can
Speaker 1: come and be loved man and rescue the bachelor and
Speaker 1: from all the other evil bachelors. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I will do my best, but I'm not sure if
Speaker 1: I'm going to be able to hit the point you
Speaker 1: want me to hit. I love that the most. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll give you a tiny little like secret behind the
Speaker 1: scenes that I didn't mention this in my book, but
Speaker 1: I also wore super Girl underwear on the day that
Speaker 1: I was doing my speaking gig, because everybody told me, oh, Lisa,
Speaker 1: if you've never done the speaking gig before, you peet
Speaker 1: like a thousand times before you step on stage, because
Speaker 1: you know, you just get the nerves. So I was like,
Speaker 1: oh god, I don't want that to like, I don't
Speaker 1: want the idea of me having to pee so much
Speaker 1: now get me nervous, right, because it's almost like someone's
Speaker 1: planted that in my mind. So I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: what am I going to do to overcome this, because
Speaker 1: that's what I'm about. I don't judge myself. I just
Speaker 1: think of a way to overcome it. And so I
Speaker 1: got super Girl underwear, and every time I pined, I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, you're super Girl. I love that. I mean,
Speaker 1: the question is a thousand times perfect. So they were right.
Speaker 1: Hopefully it was extra absorbent Superwoman underwear. Um, well, Lisa,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. Like you're saying,
Speaker 1: we're excited to get our hands on your book, Radical Confidence.
Speaker 1: I'm sure we can order online. Where else can we
Speaker 1: get it? And stuff like that. Absolutely nearly. Thank you
Speaker 1: guys so much. This was so funny. Yes made tent
Speaker 1: and you can go to Amazon. You can go to Target.
Speaker 1: I also actually have a free event where I'm getting
Speaker 1: some of my closest, closest just powerful women homies together
Speaker 1: and we're doing this free live event to help people
Speaker 1: get radically confident in their own lives. So if anyone
Speaker 1: wants to join that for free, they can go to
Speaker 1: rad coond live dot com um and they can sign
Speaker 1: up there. But if they want the book, yes, they
Speaker 1: can go to anywhere books are sold or Radical Confidence
Speaker 1: dot com. I love it rad con live dot com.
Speaker 1: Do not forget your superwoman underwear because you might be
Speaker 1: yourself a couple of times. Lisa, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining us. Like I said, we're excited and we
Speaker 1: can't wait to hear more from you. Thank you, Thank you, Lisa,
Speaker 1: Bye bye. Follow help by suck at Dating on I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast