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Speaker 1: Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.

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Speaker 2: All right, so there's an article in the New York

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Speaker 2: Post over the weekend called the Loneliness Curve. It's interesting.

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Speaker 2: It starts to out by saying new research suggests people

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Speaker 2: tend to be lonelier not only late in life, as

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Speaker 2: we all assume, but also early in life. Meaning for

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Speaker 2: the first time ever in their research, they're seeing that

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Speaker 2: isolation is a part of growing up. It's a part

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Speaker 2: of being a kid now starting your life, not really

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Speaker 2: plugged into anything like community organizations or clubs or religious groups,

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Speaker 2: going to church, whatever. You're just kind of off on

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Speaker 2: your own and you're, you know, with your phone. And

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Speaker 2: then they say later in life, of course, after your sixties,

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Speaker 2: you start to experience loneliness as well, especially after you

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Speaker 2: turn eighty. That's when you're really really lonely exactly. So

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Speaker 2: we never really thought about that. We've always dealt with

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Speaker 2: loneliness mostly with people who are older, are elder family members, this,

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Speaker 2: and then we don't really stop and remember that this

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Speaker 2: loneliness factor with young adults is running rampant. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it's a huge deal. This article was talking about the

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Speaker 2: curve where you start out life kind of lonely. Then

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Speaker 2: you become less lonely in middle aged because you interact

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Speaker 2: with more people. You may be parenting, you have to

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Speaker 2: deal with your kids, friends and teachers, or you know,

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Speaker 2: you're in the workforce, so you're dealing with people at work.

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Speaker 2: But younger in life you don't have that thing in

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Speaker 2: that kind of life, and older in life you don't

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Speaker 2: have that kind of life. Studies are suggesting that most

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Speaker 2: people benefit from having a minimum of four to six

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Speaker 2: close relationships. How many do you have? Have you thought

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Speaker 2: about it? Wow, I think I'm about four? Maybe, yeah,

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Speaker 2: four to six. But it's not only quantity that matters,

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Speaker 2: it's also variety and quality. They say different relationships can

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Speaker 2: fulfill different kinds of needs. So ask yourself, are you

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Speaker 2: able to rely on and support the people in your life?

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Speaker 2: And are your relationships mostly positive rather than negative? There

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Speaker 2: you go join a group. Are any of us members

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Speaker 2: of any groups outside this group that we work with

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Speaker 2: every day?

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Speaker 3: Like an official group?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like a like a club.

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Speaker 4: No, exactly, on.

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Speaker 3: The kickball team and it was awesome, but I'm not anymore.

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Speaker 3: I should probably get on another one.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's a group I don't have. It's funny how

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Speaker 2: you asked that question, Daniel. You're like, like an organization,

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Speaker 2: like a club, you know what, Maybe twenty thirty years

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Speaker 2: ago it wasn't unusual for people of all ages to

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Speaker 2: be a member of something bigger than them, like a

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Speaker 2: group or going to church or a club where you

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Speaker 2: read books or so. I don't know, you know, And

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Speaker 2: I was thinking about this rob waiting this article. I'm like, no,

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Speaker 2: I really don't have anything. Then I started thinking, maybe

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Speaker 2: I am lonely, more lonely than I thought.

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Speaker 3: I could totally see how that age range, too, is

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Speaker 3: so lonely because you've been in school the entire time

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Speaker 3: up until then, right around then, and you're forced to

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Speaker 3: socialize with people, and you don't realize how different the

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Speaker 3: world is outside of that when you're not in a

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Speaker 3: classroom with twenty other people. Plus for me, that was

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Speaker 3: right when I got my job in radio, and then

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Speaker 3: my schedule was completely opposite of all of my friends.

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Speaker 3: So even if I wanted to go out and play,

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Speaker 3: I couldn't because they weren't available. So it was like, huh, well,

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Speaker 3: this is weird. I totally get that.

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Speaker 2: I definitely have not bounced back since pandemic pandemic days.

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Speaker 2: Of course, you know, we all experienced loneliness on different

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Speaker 2: levels depending on our situation when we were locked down.

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Speaker 2: You know, I was locked down in a farmhouse by

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Speaker 2: myself for sometimes, you know, over a week or maybe

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Speaker 2: two weeks at a time. It was the only interaction

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Speaker 2: with people I had was this in the zoom room

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Speaker 2: every morning, and then at ten am I turned it

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Speaker 2: off and I was just it was just crickets, right.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know if anyone else out there is

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Speaker 2: like me, where you haven't really readjusted to more of

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Speaker 2: a social life. You're lonely. People of all ages are lonely.

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Speaker 2: But they're saying that these two groups early in life

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Speaker 2: and late in life are the most affected.

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Speaker 1: That's why my husband wants to start a company that

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Speaker 1: just provides people to keep you company, to put a

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Speaker 1: smile on your face, someone just to come to your

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Speaker 1: house to sit down and chat with you if you

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Speaker 1: don't have anybody to chat with, like.

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Speaker 3: A Renner front, yeah, kind of like a ren afront.

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Speaker 1: But like yeah, and he has so many people that

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Speaker 1: said they would love to work for him to do it,

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Speaker 1: you know, and just go and sit with someone who

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Speaker 1: doesn't have someone to just vent to or keep them company,

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Speaker 1: or maybe take them to the grocery store, you know,

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Speaker 1: stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: Well, like you, on both sides, even if you have

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Speaker 2: that company, you're also satisfying your need. If you're visiting

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Speaker 2: people who are lonely, you're now you're not lonely because

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Speaker 2: you're with a lonely people.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: And also, you know, I was very very intrigued Gandhi.

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Speaker 2: I know everyone's in all you and Andrew and others

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Speaker 2: go to a church in food for people, you're participating

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Speaker 2: in an organization, I mean, that is exactly where we

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Speaker 2: need to be going doing.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, And let me tell you, not only

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Speaker 3: is it great because you're doing something for the community

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Speaker 3: and you're making all this food for people who need it,

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Speaker 3: but we have such a good time when we're there,

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Speaker 3: like playing with each other, not in a creepy way,

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Speaker 3: but like actually having fun and joking around. It's fulfilling

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Speaker 3: for the soul. I love it. I would do it

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Speaker 3: more often if we could.

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Speaker 2: If you're wondering why we're making such a big deal

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Speaker 2: about loneliness, and this comes out all the time, these

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Speaker 2: studies always suggest that people benefit from close relationships. But

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Speaker 2: loneliness is it's very dangerous. It's very unhealthy. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it's anxiety. It raises your anxiety levels, it can make

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Speaker 2: it can also increase your chances of dementia when you're

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Speaker 2: just kind of stuck in your own little bubble and

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Speaker 2: not interacting with people. When you interact with people, you're

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Speaker 2: working your brain, you're working your thoughts, you're working you

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Speaker 2: know everything in your head, and when you're alone, you

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Speaker 2: don't unless you have that voice that keeps talking to you,

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Speaker 2: like I do from time to time. But you have

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Speaker 2: a call, you want to go to a call or

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Speaker 2: something here, So what are your thoughts here in Nate

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Speaker 2: being Are you lonely these days? I think a lot

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Speaker 2: of us are.

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Speaker 5: And yes, it's you know, it's hard because everybody I

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Speaker 5: know spends hours on their phone, and I can only

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Speaker 5: imagine being fifteen sixteen now where this is such a

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Speaker 5: huge part of your life and you're not making those

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Speaker 5: connections that you need as a human right You're relying

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Speaker 5: on your phone. And I think it's going to be

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Speaker 5: the death of us. To be really honest, I do agree.

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Speaker 2: I agree, and look here we are living in a

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Speaker 2: city of millions, yet it is one of the most

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Speaker 2: loneliest places in the world. Walking up and down these streets,

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Speaker 2: there are so many people. I have someone here texting

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Speaker 2: you now, Like, what about us who are totally and

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Speaker 2: always surrounded by other people, But we feel very lonely

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Speaker 2: every day. Well, you're not surrounded by other people. You

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Speaker 2: need to be surrounded by right, I've always been intrigued

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Speaker 2: by and I used to live on what fourth Street?

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Speaker 2: Which street has the basketball court in the village. I

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Speaker 2: live there at the corner where people would just show

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Speaker 2: up at this basketball court the courts and just start

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Speaker 2: playing ball with strangers. Yea, they just knew where to

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Speaker 2: go to be picked up in a game and interact

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Speaker 2: with strangers. The importance of play for adults is such

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Speaker 2: a vital, vital part of being I mean, we need

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Speaker 2: to play, right, You were talking about this earlier, right, Goda,

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Speaker 2: you read an article about playing. Why we need to

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Speaker 2: be playing more?

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, not only for your mental health, because it

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Speaker 3: stimulates your brain, like you said, it staves off dementia,

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Speaker 3: it gives you this connection to other people. But for

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Speaker 3: your physical health. They say that the act of just

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Speaker 3: playing as an adult, whether it's basketball, kickball, something goofy

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Speaker 3: that you're doing with your friends like summer camp activities.

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Speaker 3: Going outside and playing is so important to your physical

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Speaker 3: health as well, because not only are you getting exercise

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Speaker 3: and you're getting activity, so it helps your blood pressure,

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Speaker 3: your heart rate, but it brings down your stress level,

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Speaker 3: which we know how bad stress is for your body

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Speaker 3: in so many ways. And playing is such an important

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Speaker 3: aspect of life in general that we really focus on

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Speaker 3: for kids. We don't focus on it for adults because

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Speaker 3: you're told you're grown up, stop playing around. You're supposed

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Speaker 3: to play. You're always supposed to play and keep playing

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Speaker 3: and it's really good for you. So if you can

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Speaker 3: go play with your friends, it's important.

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Speaker 1: So when I went on the slide at the carnival yesterday,

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Speaker 1: that big there you go on slide on that you know?

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Speaker 1: What is that? That the burlap sack right that neath you?

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Speaker 3: I was like, I'm a kid again. It was awesome,

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Speaker 3: I feel. Isn't that so fun?

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Speaker 2: Is fun? Especially if you're sharing those moments with people you.

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Speaker 1: Love, you know, family and friends.

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Speaker 2: What's up? Scary?

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Speaker 6: But it takes two people to play, right, So I'm

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Speaker 6: i don't want to say.

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Speaker 5: No, but.

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Speaker 4: People don't. Thing that sucks is people don't want to

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Speaker 4: talk to you.

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Speaker 6: So it's like it takes two to tangle, right, it

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Speaker 6: takes so if I'm let's say, I'm alone, all right,

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Speaker 6: and I'm walking down the street, people are looking at

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Speaker 6: the friggin floor. People are like looking away. So you

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Speaker 6: have to actually in order to have this conversation, in

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Speaker 6: my opinion, about you know, you know, decreasing your loneliness.

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Speaker 6: It starts from a ones inward being. You have to

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Speaker 6: make the initiative, but you also need to be receptive

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Speaker 6: to someone who may start a conversation with you. Because

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Speaker 6: if I'm the person that's gonna be like, Okay, I'm

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Speaker 6: alone and I want to play. So I and I

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Speaker 6: start talking to people the straight, They're gonna look at

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Speaker 6: me like I have three heads, like who the hell

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Speaker 6: are you?

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Speaker 7: You know it scary?

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Speaker 2: You're painting a picture as if everyone is like that.

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Speaker 2: That's not true. Not everyone is going to like run

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Speaker 2: from you and shirk in horror.

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Speaker 3: And those people aren't want to anyway.

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Speaker 6: Right. My experience is that if you approach I approach

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Speaker 6: anyone I've ever approached, even just in a casual conversation

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Speaker 6: could be in an elevator.

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Speaker 4: They're like, the hell is this person talking to me?

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Speaker 6: For like, it's it's always the first instinct is for

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Speaker 6: the person to shut down.

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Speaker 4: So they're the problem is larger than I think that

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 2: Well, no, but scary wanting to like play basketball with

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Speaker 2: strangers on an elevator. I would say, maybe you know,

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Speaker 2: going to a park where people are playing. Maybe you

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Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. I see what you're saying, because

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Speaker 2: we all tend to want to shut people down when

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Speaker 2: they want to invade our space, right, That's what it

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Speaker 2: is like. For instance, we're talking earlier about Gandhi flying

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Speaker 2: from New York to LA. She's like, please don't talk

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Speaker 2: to me. Person in the seat next to me, and

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Speaker 2: the guys started talking to her and then ended up

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Speaker 2: turning into an interesting conversation.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I like talking to strangers, and that's probably what

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Speaker 7: we were taught the complete opposite as a child, However,

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Speaker 7: I do. I enjoy like talking to somebody new and

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Speaker 7: learning something new, or learning something about a new place

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Speaker 7: or something that I don't that I don't know about.

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Speaker 2: And I love this text, they say, And this is

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Speaker 2: so true. This is why pit cole ball is so

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Speaker 2: popular these days. You can always find a pick a

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Speaker 2: ball game. It's like, because pick a ball, you know,

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Speaker 2: they don't take it too seriously. Come, hey, let's go

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Speaker 2: play some pickle ball. Hey, I think Melissa is she'sill

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Speaker 2: online nineteen. Yeah, hey, Melissa, welcome to the show. Where

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Speaker 2: do you want to fit in in this conversation? It's

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Speaker 2: kind of interesting.

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Speaker 8: Good morning? First of all, good morning or I can't

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Speaker 8: even tell you how many years, but I texted in

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Speaker 8: saying about how I haven't adjusted back to normal life

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Speaker 8: since the lockdown because once that happened, my job sent

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Speaker 8: a soul home to work, and now I work from

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Speaker 8: home five days a week. So and then all my

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Speaker 8: friends are off married, having kids, so they really don't

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Speaker 8: have time and it's hard to make friends as an adult.

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Speaker 2: So you're living, you're living. You're living a life of isolation,

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Speaker 2: is what you're saying. Yes, yeah, well what can you

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Speaker 2: do about that self and your mental health and maybe

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Speaker 2: your physical health to get out there and play?

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Speaker 8: Yeah, well I recently started to. You guys actually got

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Speaker 8: me motivated enough to like take control back over my life,

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Speaker 8: to try and like try new things, and so far

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Speaker 8: I've gotten I've lost all of my COVID weight that

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Speaker 8: I gained because what else were we doing besides eating?

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Speaker 8: But I'm slowly getting there. It takes time to adjust

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Speaker 8: back into that normal life of socializing with people.

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Speaker 2: Well, you got to be careful. It's a slippery slope.

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Speaker 2: And I say this from personal experience. The longer you

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Speaker 2: stay isolated, the more your friends will fall away. They

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Speaker 2: will slowly get into their own thing that It's not

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Speaker 2: that they don't like you, it's just they're not in

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Speaker 2: a rhythm of friendship with you. Friendship is a rhythm.

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Speaker 2: You know, a lot of people in our lives, we

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Speaker 2: can go you know, years and years and we see

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Speaker 2: them and as if we never were apart. Right, That's

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Speaker 2: not always the case. With the people we see, we

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Speaker 2: need to see every day or at least once a week.

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Speaker 2: If you're not in a rhythm with them, they'll just

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Speaker 2: assume that you've got other things going on and they

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Speaker 2: won't call you again. You you do, as scary as

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Speaker 2: talking about you do have to make the effort. You

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Speaker 2: have to from within find the energy and the strength

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Speaker 2: to get out there and mingle and do things that

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Speaker 2: are uncomfortable sometimes, right, CONDI.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, And this could be one of the things,

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Speaker 3: like Elvis was talking about, where you find a group

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Speaker 3: that has your common interest share like a shared common interest,

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Speaker 3: because let's say you're into gardening. At the very least,

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Speaker 3: you know you already have something to start talking to

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Speaker 3: people about, and who knows what kind of friendships can

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Speaker 3: form from there.

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Speaker 1: In your neighborhood, do they have any like groups or

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Speaker 1: anything that you could like just at least try to,

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Speaker 1: like maybe check out.

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Speaker 8: I've actually been slowly researching because I got back into reading,

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Speaker 8: so I wanted to try and join like a book

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Speaker 8: club and get back together. I at least have that

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Speaker 8: to look forward to. I'm not really a sports kind

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Speaker 8: of person, but I have been looking into like different

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Speaker 8: little things. It's just I'm an introvert, so it's very

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Speaker 8: hard for me to like make that first.

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Speaker 2: But I'm the same, I believe, or not as loud

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Speaker 2: mouthed as I am. I'm an introvert as well, and

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Speaker 2: there are many introverts listening, and maybe even in this room. Hey,

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Speaker 2: you know what, there's another thing to consider, Melissa. There's

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Speaker 2: a whole world out there of people who need help.

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Speaker 2: They need support. They need support. I mean we're talking

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Speaker 2: earlier about Gandhi and her friends. Every once in a while,

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Speaker 2: the little show up at a church in Jersey City

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Speaker 2: and they'll make dinners for people who need food, and

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Speaker 2: you know there's a need there. And joining other people

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Speaker 2: who recognize their importance in this world to help other people.

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Speaker 2: Being a part of that circle is good for you too.

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Speaker 2: So just consider, just consider things as easy as that

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Speaker 2: walking in that first time into a room, a kitchen

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Speaker 2: rather full of strangers and like, okay, I'm here to help. Well,

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Speaker 2: I'm toasting bread. What what's my goal in this session?

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Speaker 2: You know that first time you walk in through that

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Speaker 2: door is going to be the hardest, But once you're

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Speaker 2: in there, you'll start meeting people. But you're also taking

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Speaker 2: care of other people that really need your help. So

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Speaker 2: best of luck with that mother.

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Speaker 8: Absolutely, it's like your first day on a new job.

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Speaker 8: That's the hardest part is walking through that door.

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Speaker 2: Exactly. All the best you willis say and believe me,

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Speaker 2: you have touched a nerve with many people, including myself,

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Speaker 2: who are sort of in that same boat. And thank

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Speaker 2: you for listening to us. So what have we learned here?

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Speaker 2: We're lonely and we're not playing enough. Shame on us.

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Speaker 3: But there are ways to fix it, and that's a

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Speaker 3: good thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there are ways to fix it. It's like Gandhi

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Speaker 2: playing around all the time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, play around all the time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, get out and play