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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 1: So John, it's dump him Week, which means we're taking

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Speaker 1: out the trash at least emotionally speaking.

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Speaker 2: Oh yes we are.

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Speaker 3: We have stories this week that will make you say

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Speaker 3: farewell to toxic relationships and hello to red Flag for

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Speaker 3: your living.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and speaking of hello, if you're new here and

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Speaker 1: looking for that first story in our series, my husband

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Speaker 1: cheated but he has cancer? Should I say, just click

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Speaker 1: the link in the show notes slash description or search

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Speaker 1: dumpim week, Okay story Time wherever you get your podcasts.

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Speaker 2: All right, Sam, let's get in today's story.

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Speaker 4: My husband is having an affair with his girl best friend.

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Speaker 4: I expose them at their family barbecue.

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Speaker 5: Ooh, that's a nice little juicy treat at the barbecue.

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Speaker 4: That's the best place to expose someone. I twenty nine female,

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Speaker 4: have been married to my husband, thirty one male for

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Speaker 4: five years. We've had a good relationship overall, but there's

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Speaker 4: always been one issue, his girl best friend, Megan, thirty female.

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Speaker 4: He's been in his life since childhood, and while I've

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Speaker 4: always felt a bit uneasy about their closeness, I trusted

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Speaker 4: my husband and try to be cool with it. By

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Speaker 4: the way, this comes from Agency at Academic ninety two

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Speaker 4: oh eight on the r slash showcase Storytime Separate It.

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Speaker 4: So Megan's always around, She's at our house constantly, they

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Speaker 4: text all the time, and she even comes on family

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Speaker 4: vacations with us. Every time I brought up how their

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Speaker 4: friendship made me uncomfortable, my husband would brush it off,

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Speaker 4: saying she's practically a sister and that I was overreacting

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Speaker 4: to make matters more complicated. My mother in law fifty

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Speaker 4: eight female, is amazing. She's always had my back and

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Speaker 4: has told me multiple times that if Megan made me uncomfortable,

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Speaker 4: I should talk to my husband about setting boundaries. On

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Speaker 4: the other hand, my father in law sixty mail as

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Speaker 4: a very different attitude. He adoores Megan and has always

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Speaker 4: said that she's part of the family and I just

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Speaker 4: need to deal with it. He thinks my discomfort with

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Speaker 4: their friendship is just jealousy. Aast forward to two months ago.

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Speaker 4: My husband started acting distant, coming home late, being secretive

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Speaker 4: with his phone, and just off. I had a gut

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Speaker 4: feeling something was wrong. So one night, no I went

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Speaker 4: through his phone while he was in the shower the

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Speaker 4: classic That's what I found out. He and Megan had

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Speaker 4: been having an affair four months. Oh No, I was crushed.

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Speaker 4: I confronted him and he admitted everything. He swore it

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Speaker 4: was a mistake and he loved me and begged me

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Speaker 4: not to leave him. I didn't know what to do,

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Speaker 4: so I stayed quiet for a bit, trying to process everything. Girl,

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Speaker 4: I gotta go, Yeah, you gotta go. Get A couple

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Speaker 4: of weeks later, my in laws hosted a big family barbecue.

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Speaker 4: I was still reeling from the affair, but my husband

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Speaker 4: convinced me to come, saying we needed to keep up

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Speaker 4: appearances while we worked things out. I went, but I

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Speaker 4: was a wreckonside, especially knowing Megan would be there. I

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Speaker 4: sure enough, Megan showed up like nothing had happened, acting

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Speaker 4: all friendly with everyone, including me. The audacity. I was

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Speaker 4: boiling inside, but I kept it together. Then during dinner,

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Speaker 4: my father in law made some offhand comments about how

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Speaker 4: Megan would always be part of the family and that

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Speaker 4: I needed to get over my insecurities. Why is his

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Speaker 4: father in law he needs to mind his own business.

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Speaker 4: Maybe he just really likes Megan. He said this in

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Speaker 4: front of everyone. That was my breaking point. I stood up,

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Speaker 4: looked straight at him and said, you know what, I

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Speaker 4: would get over it if she wasn't sleeping with my husband.

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Speaker 4: M he pushed you to that point Megan. Entire table

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Speaker 4: went silent, Megan's face turned white, and my husband tried

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Speaker 4: to calm me down, but I wasn't having any of it.

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Speaker 4: I told everyone exactly what has been going on, the

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Speaker 4: sneaking around, the lies, the betrayal. My mother in law

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Speaker 4: was furious, but not at me. She laid into my

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Speaker 4: husband and Megan, saying they destroyed our marriage and disrespected me.

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Speaker 4: My father in law, though, had the audacity to say

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Speaker 4: I was overreacting and that affairs happened. I feel like

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Speaker 4: he definitely knew this was going on.

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Speaker 5: He had to have it at that point because saying

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Speaker 5: a fairs happened, so he's definitely doing an affair as well.

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Speaker 6: It's like a natural phenomena. It's like a lightning strike.

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Speaker 4: It just can't simply must be. I can't do anything

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Speaker 4: about it, but I shouldn't have aired it out in

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Speaker 4: front of the family. He even defended Megan, saying she

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Speaker 4: made a mistake and we should all move on. Megan,

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Speaker 4: I left the barbecue and have been staying with my

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Speaker 4: mom ever since. My husband keeps begging me to come home,

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Speaker 4: and my mother in law has been supportive. But my

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Speaker 4: father in law is telling the whole family that I'm

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Speaker 4: the one causing drama and blowing things out of proportion?

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Speaker 4: Am I the aole for exposing their affair in front

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Speaker 4: of everyone at the barbecue? Should I have kept it private?

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Speaker 4: Or was I right to call them out after everything?

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Speaker 4: And edit? Based on what you guys are saying, me

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Speaker 4: and mother in law are very close. Should I show

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Speaker 4: her what you guys are saying about father in law

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Speaker 4: possibly cheating and see if she wants to look into that.

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Speaker 4: Their marriage has been very rocky and she's been wanting

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Speaker 4: to get out of it, but he has been the

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Speaker 4: breadwinner for years. Oh hell yeah, get out of there.

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Speaker 5: I mean, as long as she's got like the lawyer stuff, right,

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Speaker 5: she can get get some bread he's been winning, get

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Speaker 5: his money.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, do that edit too. There are no kids involved

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Speaker 4: with my soon to be ex as he can't have kids,

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Speaker 4: and there is a mini update. But yeah, I think

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Speaker 4: that oh, he needs to leave her husband and mother

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Speaker 4: in law needs to leave her husband. I think it

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Speaker 4: just they have to have a large exodus of wives

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Speaker 4: leaving their husband.

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Speaker 5: You don't have to keep up appearances nowhah to everyone,

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Speaker 5: it appears like everyone knows.

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Speaker 4: Now everyone knows, and the more that they know, the

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Speaker 4: more you can combat the lies. Your father in law

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Speaker 4: is done. Exactly after seeing some of the comments about

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Speaker 4: father in law maybe wanting to sleep with Meghan, I

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Speaker 4: asked mother in law if there was something weird going

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Speaker 4: on there or if she knew if he'd cheated before.

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Speaker 4: They've been married for a long time. He's cheated ten times.

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Speaker 4: What Oh, I had no control over it. They just

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Speaker 4: came into my life. I cheated, and then they went

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Speaker 4: on their way. One that you guys might find important

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Speaker 4: is he slept with Meghan's mother. Oh what oh? Why?

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Speaker 5: That's why Megan's gonna be in the family forever, because

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Speaker 5: he's like, this is my daughter, which is also icky.

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Speaker 2: They're really keeping it in the family.

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Speaker 4: Maybe that's why he loves Megan so much. As far

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Speaker 4: as she knows, he didn't sleep with Megan. The other

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Speaker 4: eight were people he worked with, and one of them

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Speaker 4: was an old high school friend. I will also be

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Speaker 4: researching for a lawyer tomorrow morning. And there's another many updates.

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Speaker 4: Dude slept with eight people he works people, eight people

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Speaker 4: he works with. That's like the whole what he or

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Speaker 4: the whole office.

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Speaker 3: Maybe someone someone started a room or they're like, I

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Speaker 3: gotta I gotta test this out.

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Speaker 4: They're like, he sleeps with everyone, and someone was like everyone.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe he's just like the communal like he's the

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Speaker 5: work husband.

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Speaker 4: For everyoneusband, it's like, and he just took that. Mother

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Speaker 4: in law told father in law to get a DNA

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Speaker 4: test with Megan or she's divorcing him. He said he

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Speaker 4: would try and schedule something tomorrow. I'm very glad I

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Speaker 4: came to Reddit with this or some stuff we are

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Speaker 4: finding out wouldn't have come to light if Megan is

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Speaker 4: her husband's sister.

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Speaker 6: Oh, he's husband is cheating on her with his own

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Speaker 6: half sister.

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Speaker 4: That would be hilarious her problem.

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Speaker 2: I love that, that's their problem.

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Speaker 4: Also, mother in law is getting divorced no matter what,

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Speaker 4: but he doesn't know that yet. She decided an hour ago. Yes,

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Speaker 4: I will be helping her with a place to stay,

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Speaker 4: and she wants to get into real estate with me,

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Speaker 4: so I'll be trying to pull some strings and help

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Speaker 4: her out in every way I possibly can. But you

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Speaker 4: can help us out by joining us live every weekday

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Speaker 4: on YouTube. Just tap our profile.

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Speaker 5: Both of these men need to be catapulted out of

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Speaker 5: our atmosphere and into deep space.

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Speaker 2: Agreed with Megan.

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Speaker 5: It's horrible and I'm so sorry that Op he had

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Speaker 5: to do this, but it's so hilarious that if he

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Speaker 5: might accidentally be cheating on his wife would starting his

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Speaker 5: own half sister. He's literally doing a Luke Skywalker right

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Speaker 5: now kiss his sister.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but more intense, pretty icky.

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Speaker 4: I think you just need to text him and be like, hey,

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Speaker 4: you might be cheating with your sister, and then and

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Speaker 4: then blog him and then leave it at that. It

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Speaker 4: doesn't even necessarily have to be true. Just put that down.

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Speaker 4: Plant the seed, Plant the seed. But there is a

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Speaker 4: little bit left to this story. The mother in law

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Speaker 4: has seen all the comments and with Reddit and my support,

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Speaker 4: gave her the strength to leave. It's a painful situation

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Speaker 4: for both of us, but I'm glad we're going through

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Speaker 4: this together so we can have each other's supports solidarity

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Speaker 4: when the DNA test results come back. If it is

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Speaker 4: for sure happening, she will be cutting off my ex

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Speaker 4: husband and father in law. I also want to say

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Speaker 4: that father in law was sleeping with Megan's mother for

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Speaker 4: maybe a month or two. That's why my mother in

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Speaker 4: law thinks the timelines add up. And yes, father in

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Speaker 4: law knew about the affair that boils my blood. He

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Speaker 4: isn't even decent enough. You mean to tell me about it.

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Speaker 4: If it was me or mother in law cheating, both

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Speaker 4: father in law and ex husband would be very pissed. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: because they have double standards and they said I fixed

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Speaker 4: my grammar for everyone angry about that. Some of you

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Speaker 4: asked why he didn't just marry his best friend. At

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Speaker 4: the beginning of my and my ex husband's relationship, she

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Speaker 4: was in a serious relationship. I'm assuming when he would

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Speaker 4: go and comfort her after they broke up, that's when

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Speaker 4: it started. My husband did try to contact me, but

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Speaker 4: I was told not to blame. But it's getting hard

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Speaker 4: to ignore the texts. I think probably for legal proceedings.

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Speaker 4: Don't block him.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I was about to say, who told you

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Speaker 5: not to block him? Man, it is like I'll probably

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Speaker 5: a lawyer.

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Speaker 4: And then Megan contacted me gross ew Megan. They have

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Speaker 4: an appointment in an hour, so the results should be

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Speaker 4: back in a week or a week and a half.

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Speaker 4: In Megan's screenshots, I think she meant Megan as in

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Speaker 4: that's her, I said, who is this before she said that,

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Speaker 4: as you can see the people saying it's a lie

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Speaker 4: because of that need to use their brains. I did

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Speaker 4: send Megan the screenshots of what he said and am

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Speaker 4: waiting for a response. It will be posted here with

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Speaker 4: a link. I'm grateful for all the support I've received.

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Speaker 4: If I could, I would apply to all the messages

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Speaker 4: and comments. I'm also very thankful for the people on

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Speaker 4: TikTok who have shared my story. I've seen two people

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Speaker 4: so far, and if you see anymore, please let me know.

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Speaker 4: Several people have asked whether they resemble each other. Well,

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Speaker 4: there are some similarities. It's important to note that many

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Speaker 4: people share features like brown hair and blue eyes, making

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Speaker 4: it hard to say they look alike. I can't provide

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Speaker 4: Megan's phone number anymore because she recently changed. She made

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Speaker 4: this decision after I shared her contact information with a

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Speaker 4: few people. Which led to her receiving an overwhelming amount

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Speaker 4: of messages that she found annoying. I did share the

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Speaker 4: comments that people were making about her on Reddit, and

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Speaker 4: it did affect her. This is from Megan to Ope

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Speaker 4: you're a bee?

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Speaker 2: Who is this?

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Speaker 4: Megan? I can't believe you would tell our whole family

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Speaker 4: about this, And now I have to get a DNA

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Speaker 4: test so I can find out if I've been sleeping

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Speaker 4: with my brother. You made this whole thing so much

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Speaker 4: more drama than it had to be. I see why

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Speaker 4: he cheated on you. And do you know what he

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Speaker 4: said about you? He said after you two got married,

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Speaker 4: he thought you were disgusting. I hope you really go

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Speaker 4: through with the divorce then he can be mine. You

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Speaker 4: are a terrible person and a terrible wife. What kind

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Speaker 4: of wife are you if you won't cook and clean

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Speaker 4: for your husband every day? I know I can treat

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Speaker 4: him better.

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Speaker 5: Okay, so that might be your half brother, but you

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Speaker 5: would still date him.

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Speaker 4: Do you hear how gross that is.

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Speaker 5: If anyone's disgusting, it's you too and your little family affair.

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Speaker 5: I never cheated on my husband, so don't call me

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Speaker 5: and or I did everything for him.

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Speaker 4: I cut friends off for him.

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Speaker 5: I cut family off for him, and I did everything

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Speaker 5: he asked.

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Speaker 4: How did he repay me by cheating on me?

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Speaker 5: You are both gross humans and I would prefer if

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Speaker 5: you don't contact me anymore. And me personally, I would

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Speaker 5: prefer if they were sent deep into the ort cloud.

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Speaker 4: Or send them to the ort cloud.

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Speaker 6: I don't want these people in the same solar system

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Speaker 6: as me.

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Speaker 4: Oh, get over yourself. That's a basic wife things. It's

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Speaker 4: sad that he had to ask you to do things

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Speaker 4: instead of you just doing them. You work from home.

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Speaker 4: How hard can it be. You're just a lazy salute

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Speaker 4: and I hope you never find love.

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Speaker 5: You're talking about someone who might be your brother, you idiot.

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Speaker 4: It's crazy that she like addressed that he might be

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Speaker 4: her brother and was still like, you know, I'm I'm

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Speaker 4: still gonna be with him.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, that's just like a little details.

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Speaker 4: It's just a minor inconvenience. True love can fight through anything.

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Speaker 4: I just found out my wife was are friends third

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Speaker 4: Now I don't want to be friends with them.

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Speaker 7: I don't understand that title. While you were like threesome,

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Speaker 7: oh company baby.

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Speaker 4: So I'm going to try and keep this as short

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Speaker 4: as possible. My wife and I have been married now

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Speaker 4: for just shy of twelve years. We met in college

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Speaker 4: between her junior and senior years. During this time, I

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Speaker 4: also met her close friends Brian and Chloe.

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Speaker 7: I don't like the sound of Brian.

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Speaker 4: I don't trust Brian or Chloe. They were high school

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Speaker 4: They were high school sweethearts who are currently married and

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Speaker 4: friends still with my wife and myself. Girl, how close

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Speaker 4: by the way. This comes from throw a guy I

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Speaker 4: on the Okay Storytime subarutteh. So I've been off work

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Speaker 4: now for a week due to me accruing too many

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Speaker 4: leave days. I had to burn some or I would

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Speaker 4: lose them. School is about to start back up, so

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Speaker 4: I figured I would clean the house and generally straighten

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Speaker 4: up everything while the kids are still in summer camp

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Speaker 4: and my wife is at work. While moving things into

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Speaker 4: the attic on Tuesday, I stumbled across an old filing cabinet,

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Speaker 4: like the small one you can put on a desk.

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Speaker 4: Inside I found a flash drive with a red heart

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Speaker 4: colored on it. Suspicious, very suspicious. Now, I'll admit my

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Speaker 4: curiosity got the best of me, so I popped downstairs

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Speaker 4: and threw it into the computer.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Once I opened it up, there was only a folder

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Speaker 4: titled Summer of Love.

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Speaker 7: Of Love, Love is in the Air?

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Speaker 4: Was this the seventies? Looking in that folder, I found

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00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:39,679
Speaker 4: pictures and videos of my wife, Brian and Chloe engaging

301
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Speaker 4: in various spicy acts.

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Speaker 7: They kept it Yoh, sounds like a grade summer.

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Speaker 4: That's kind of I don't know. I don't think you

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Speaker 4: can keep it. I don't think you can keep that.

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00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:55,160
Speaker 4: Maybe would the memory.

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Speaker 7: But maybe they forgot, like it was just like in

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Speaker 7: you know, it's home cabin.

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00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,360
Speaker 4: Looking into it further, it was apparent that it was

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Speaker 4: the summer we met.

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Speaker 7: Oh.

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00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,160
Speaker 4: When my wife got home that evening, I couldn't hold

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Speaker 4: it and just asked her about the Summer of Love.

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Speaker 7: Good morning, honey, what the hell is the summer of.

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Speaker 4: Blub She immediately got defensive and saying that I broke

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Speaker 4: her trust by going through her things. We got into

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Speaker 4: a huge fight when I found out she had been

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Speaker 4: there third for about five months or so. Dang, And

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Speaker 4: it ended at the end of summer, and our relationship

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00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,360
Speaker 4: looked like it was going strong. Yeah, that's my question.

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Speaker 4: Were you guys exclusive?

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00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:34,000
Speaker 5: Well?

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00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,840
Speaker 7: Yeah, were you exclusive? While the summer of love was happening.

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Speaker 4: She says it was college we me and her weren't

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Speaker 4: serious yet and that I was making your feel bad

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Speaker 4: for things that happened years in the past. I told

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Speaker 4: her I wasn't very comfortable being friends with Brian and

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Speaker 4: Chloe anymore. This only led to more fighting. I kind

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Speaker 4: of understand that because she admitted the truth, like she

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Speaker 4: never told him that that was the relationship.

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Speaker 7: I understand like concern with secrecy being involved. Yeah, but honestly,

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Speaker 7: like the what's coming up and there's like it's kind

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Speaker 7: of harsh. Is like you're an adult, people sleep with

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Speaker 7: other people. For that part is fine, and it's like

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Speaker 7: so many years after, like get over it. That's kind

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00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,040
Speaker 7: of what's coming up for me.

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00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,040
Speaker 4: I guess I'm a little bit on the side. Like

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Speaker 4: if she had come to him and said like, hey,

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Speaker 4: you know, these are my friends, I've have a history

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Speaker 4: with them and he was still upset, I'd be like, dude,

340
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,360
Speaker 4: come on, she like told you, like the people have history.

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Speaker 4: But I think the fact that she kept the drive

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Speaker 4: and also she never told them like told him, I

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Speaker 4: think that's a little bit suspicious.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, with the secrecy involved, is never a good look.

345
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,160
Speaker 7: It's brittany because Okay, not being serious and not being

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00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,080
Speaker 7: exclusive are two different things. So I'm wondering, correct she

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Speaker 7: didn't see if it was If they were exclusive, it

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Speaker 7: would be the Summer of betrayal. Yes, but I don't know.

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Speaker 7: It seems like it's not. They weren't exclusive. Excuse me,

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00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 7: they weren't exclusive, and it's more of just like he's

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Speaker 7: uncomfortable that his wife had spicy sleep history with friends

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Speaker 7: that they have, which I'm like.

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Speaker 2: I think I'm just upset about the I guarantee you

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Speaker 2: she did tell him at the time they would not

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Speaker 2: be married in twelve years later down the line.

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Speaker 4: Maybe we don't know.

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Speaker 7: Deirdre says she kept photos and didn't tell him that part. Yeah,

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Speaker 7: it doesn't mess up either.

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00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,880
Speaker 4: So honestly, right now, I'm just kind of lost. I'm

360
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,800
Speaker 4: not comfortable seeing Brian and Chloe after seeing what I saw,

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Speaker 4: but it's driving a wedge between me and my wife.

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Speaker 4: I'm not sure if I should make it an ultimatum

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00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 4: like choose me or them. I have so many feelings.

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't say this is an old this is a

365
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,720
Speaker 4: conversation that you need to have and say, like Hey,

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Speaker 4: I didn't appreciate the secrecy. I don't think it's necessarily

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Speaker 4: a ultimatum.

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00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 7: I agree completely, And I think the way to go

369
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:58,520
Speaker 7: about this is not like most good communication is not blaming,

370
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,720
Speaker 7: but just being honest with what comes up of Like, Hey,

371
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,960
Speaker 7: I'm feeling some sense of betrayal, like knowing you have

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00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:08,320
Speaker 7: this relationship with them, and it was never shared enough

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Speaker 7: that you kept that you kept you know, photos and

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Speaker 7: videos of it, and I was never told that. I

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00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:17,680
Speaker 7: was under the impression the relationship has been this way

376
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,840
Speaker 7: and it hasn't this whole time, and so I'm feeling upset.

377
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,800
Speaker 7: I'm feeling just sad that there seems to be like

378
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,679
Speaker 7: a big part of your life I wasn't aware of

379
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,960
Speaker 7: and also like insecure around like what your relationship with

380
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,960
Speaker 7: them currently is. And I think like owning your emotions

381
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,040
Speaker 7: like that can lead to maybe like a really intimate

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00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:40,720
Speaker 7: conversation that actually might bring more intimacy into the relationship.

383
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I don't think it's again, like I think

384
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,480
Speaker 4: it's this relationship is over. No, so I don't, I don't,

385
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:50,280
Speaker 4: or they're sorry. The relationship between Brian and oh oh okay,

386
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,359
Speaker 4: that's like that as long as it didn't continue. I

387
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:54,720
Speaker 4: don't think it has any.

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00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,320
Speaker 2: There was a summer of love and then that, you know.

389
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:01,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, but there is additional info from this may get

390
00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 4: lost in the comments, but I've seen a few people

391
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,040
Speaker 4: unsure if me and my wife were dating first off,

392
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 4: since I'm obviously not in the best headspace right now.

393
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,600
Speaker 4: But let me clarify. I met her in June twenty ten.

394
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,360
Speaker 4: The relationship with Brian and Chloe ended in August when

395
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:18,840
Speaker 4: my wife returned to school after five months, So something

396
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,720
Speaker 4: like March is when it started in regards to dating.

397
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,320
Speaker 4: I felt like by July we were definitely going strong

398
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:26,720
Speaker 4: and monogamous.

399
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 2: Huh.

400
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 4: So it seems like Ope is saying that there was

401
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,480
Speaker 4: overlap between when they were monogamous.

402
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,159
Speaker 3: But it's the timetable is you got to get the

403
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:42,399
Speaker 3: timetable exactly from this is from Op's perspective. Yeah, and

404
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,320
Speaker 3: I said he didn't say like there's a like a

405
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,120
Speaker 3: straight day.

406
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:49,160
Speaker 4: I specifically say it's it's sure. Yeah, so it could

407
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,000
Speaker 4: be a little bit up in the air. Again, sorry

408
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,400
Speaker 4: for the confusion. I'm still a little confused. Relevant comments.

409
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,600
Speaker 4: BEV says she cheated was she calling you her boyfriend.

410
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,040
Speaker 4: Did she biomission allow you to think there was nobody else?

411
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 4: Your entire relationship started based on a lie. I hope

412
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,040
Speaker 4: he says more information good. In regard to the boyfriend

413
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 4: girlfriend thing, I would say sometime at the beginning of August,

414
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:11,320
Speaker 4: she posted a picture on Facebook where she called me

415
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,640
Speaker 4: her boyfriend. Did you guys have.

416
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:17,880
Speaker 7: A conversation sometimes at the beginning of August, which is.

417
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,040
Speaker 4: Probably the last time that she saw.

418
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 7: It ended in August, so there's no question, like it

419
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,840
Speaker 7: was like right, it was like right now, back to back?

420
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,160
Speaker 2: Are we are we overlapping? Are we back to back?

421
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,120
Speaker 4: It seems unclear.

422
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:31,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can see it overlapping.

423
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,880
Speaker 3: She was probably like, hey, I kind of like this guy,

424
00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:37,000
Speaker 3: and they're like, it was just a summer of love.

425
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,240
Speaker 2: We'll just stick with our things.

426
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 4: We got summer of love stays and said we did

427
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 4: our thing.

428
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 2: It's not summers and summer's ending.

429
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 7: Summer's ending.

430
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, he seems like you like this guy, you want

431
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 2: to marry him. That's cute, Go off and be happy.

432
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 7: I don't think there's an issue of relationships overlapping in

433
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 7: terms of like interacting, but there's an issue of like

434
00:19:56,560 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 7: agreements overlapping. If you're if you're telling someone monogamous and

435
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 7: we're exclusive and there's an agreement around that, and that's

436
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 7: overlapping with your spicy sleep relationship with to other people,

437
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 7: that's an issue. But if you're seeing someone, I mean,

438
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:10,680
Speaker 7: that's that's fine.

439
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's just yeah, the agreements bad bad. Papa says.

440
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 4: If you became exclusive at the end of July twenty

441
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,159
Speaker 4: eighth example, and she broke it off with them in

442
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,439
Speaker 4: the beginning of August, but if you were exclusive for

443
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 4: approximately thirty days while she was sleeping with them and you,

444
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,879
Speaker 4: that is a different story. Opie says. So I applied

445
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,000
Speaker 4: to another comment. And while I think we should have

446
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,240
Speaker 4: been exclusively together in July, she did post a Facebook

447
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 4: picture ignowling me acknowledging me as her boyfriend in the

448
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,199
Speaker 4: beginning of August, that relationship didn't end until the end

449
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 4: of all.

450
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 7: Oh interesting. I thought we were in the clear.

451
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,880
Speaker 4: So it seems like I don't like I said.

452
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,920
Speaker 2: I think that's what I'm saying. Like it's like a

453
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 2: guy doesn't know yeah.

454
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:50,919
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah.

455
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,679
Speaker 4: So first off, there is an update. Okay, update, So

456
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 4: I called Brian about a day after my original post.

457
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,360
Speaker 4: I told him I knew about the Summer of Love.

458
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 7: Hey, Brian, I know it well.

459
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 2: You know the Summer of Love. Why wasn't I involved?

460
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,120
Speaker 4: No, not the Summer of Love.

461
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 7: The Summer of Love sounds great. He was just wishes

462
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 7: he was apart.

463
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 4: He's like, why wasn't I there, dude?

464
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:12,199
Speaker 2: I was.

465
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 4: I met you guys in July Love.

466
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 7: I love Summers of Love.

467
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 2: You guys didn't want me a part of that.

468
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:17,639
Speaker 7: Where was the invite?

469
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 2: Man?

470
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 4: He was quiet for about a minute. He then began

471
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,080
Speaker 4: apologizing a profusely.

472
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 7: Oh that's not a good sign.

473
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,640
Speaker 4: So here's what I know from Brian. In March twenty ten,

474
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 4: my wife had not had the best dating experiences in college.

475
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 4: Chloe and my wife began having a spicy sleep relationship

476
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 4: with Brian Oh, which Brian knew about. Eventually, in late April,

477
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 4: Brian was invited into the mix. The whole Summer of

478
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:45,800
Speaker 4: Love video and photo sessions took place July seventh, twenty ten.

479
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 4: They had gone to a party the day before, and

480
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 4: on the seventh they all got wasted in high in

481
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 4: my wife's apartment and decided to make the video. When

482
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:57,199
Speaker 4: my wife posted on Facebook in August, acknowledging me as

483
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:01,719
Speaker 4: her boyfriend Brian decided to no longer get in the relationship. Oh,

484
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 4: Chloe and my wife continued to engage in spicy sleep

485
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 4: relationship until late September, so confirmed she did cheat on

486
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 4: him damn, which now it is very relevant that she's

487
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,919
Speaker 4: still friends with Chloe and Brian. At the time, my

488
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 4: wife had found out that she had been pregnant and

489
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:24,200
Speaker 4: had miscarried. She was about two months along. Until the miscarriage,

490
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 4: she was apparently fully unaware she was even pregnant. Now,

491
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,479
Speaker 4: at the time, I thought she was having financial and

492
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 4: great issues as to why she was so depressed during

493
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 4: that time. What I know now is that it's not

494
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 4: certain if the child would have been mine or Brian.

495
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 4: What a turn in this story.

496
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 7: This is okay, completely different stories.

497
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, this apparently sent them all into shock, and it

498
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,679
Speaker 4: was determined that it would be best to keep this

499
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 4: a secret and to fully end all relationships. They haven't

500
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 4: done anything. Yeah, they haven't done anything since, and they

501
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,680
Speaker 4: want to keep it that way. So now there is more.

502
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 4: Now we are in the realm of you can totally

503
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 4: break this relationship into borce her. Absolutely.

504
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, this guy I loved the summer of sad, this

505
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 3: summer betrayal, sad, sad fall, and.

506
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,159
Speaker 4: The fact that she was kind of gaslighting you and said, oh,

507
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 4: it's like nothing, it didn't matter. And then you have

508
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 4: to find out not even from her, but from Brian. Yeah,

509
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 4: exaustly that he might have, you know, had a kid,

510
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:25,159
Speaker 4: you know that she lost.

511
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 7: Yeah, she's still lying to this day, and she's lying

512
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 7: that she did cheat on you, and potentially she was

513
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,640
Speaker 7: pregnant with your child or another man's child.

514
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 4: Which is crazy.

515
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, crazy.

516
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 4: But she never told you that week. I was still off.

517
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,959
Speaker 4: On that Thursday, my wife dropped the kids off at

518
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 4: daycare and took the day off. I forgot that had kids.

519
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,359
Speaker 7: Dude, this just got so messy. I was like, this

520
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 7: is kind of fun.

521
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:55,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then it was like no. We spent the

522
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 4: entire day talking. Her story is the same as Brian's

523
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 4: from what I can tell. She playing that her and

524
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 4: Chloe did keep up a spicy relationship due to past

525
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,640
Speaker 4: failed relationships. She was afraid that ours would fail as well.

526
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 4: That is not an excuse.

527
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 7: She was like, I thought ours failed, so I cheated

528
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 7: on you.

529
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 4: I so cheated on you. You know it goes.

530
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,360
Speaker 7: Yeah, you had to understand.

531
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 4: She told me that she had thought of telling me

532
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 4: of it over the years, but figured it would be

533
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 4: best left a secret. It always comes to secrets are

534
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 4: never secrets, are never secret, always left secret. She was

535
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 4: also embarrassed to admit that she'd been bisexual in college.

536
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 4: What Yeah, no, doy the flash drive she had completely

537
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 4: forgotten about. Okay, so you guys were right about that. Yeah,

538
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 4: we had moved around four times since we had been married,

539
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 4: so it's plausible. The small little filing cabinet was used

540
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 4: in the past for junk items like spare batteries and

541
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 4: wires and crap. By the way, you know what else

542
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 4: is plausible? You guys joining us live every weekday had

543
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 4: three pmpst on YouTube. Just tap our profile.

544
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 7: So planned.

545
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 4: But let's get into the last bit of the all right,

546
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,480
Speaker 4: we have managed to get into a couple's therapy session

547
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:07,360
Speaker 4: on short notice. It was last Thursday. Everything went smoothly.

548
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 4: A lot of tears were shed on her side, and

549
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,439
Speaker 4: I believe what my wife was saying. The thing is

550
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 4: that there has never been once been a day or

551
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 4: time frame in all of her years of marriage where

552
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,120
Speaker 4: any of them could have gotten together. She has agreed

553
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 4: to keep contact with Chloe to a bare minimum while

554
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 4: we work through all of this.

555
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,879
Speaker 7: Oh with a hard stop.

556
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,400
Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story. And it's

557
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 4: pretty said. It's a compliment. Nice.

558
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 7: I think she's backtracking.

559
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 2: Down.

560
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 7: I'm glad that they I'm glad that they went to

561
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,400
Speaker 7: couple therapy, that they immediately went to couples therapy.

562
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 4: I think, regardless, even if you're not going to stay

563
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 4: together when you have kids, couples therapy is kind of

564
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 4: a necessity.

565
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 7: Agreed, if that is what is the option. But yeah,

566
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 7: I mean, do you think that they could come back

567
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 7: from this? Do you think there's a possibility for relationship

568
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 7: repair and trust building.

569
00:25:56,280 --> 00:26:00,719
Speaker 4: According to Sam's rules, I don't give a whop. According

570
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,439
Speaker 4: to cents, I think that there is a chance that

571
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 4: they could, because they've been married for so long and

572
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 4: they have kids. Yeah, I mean, I would also completely

573
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 4: understand if opended this relationship.

574
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 2: For sure within those twelve years twelve it seemed like

575
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 2: twelve again, nothing else happened, nothing else happened. This was

576
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 2: right at the beginning of the very beginning. Yeah.

577
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, In terms of likelihood of them staying together, I

578
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 4: think there is a likelyhood. I would also understand if

579
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 4: he divorced her.

580
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,879
Speaker 2: I understand both scenarios, but I think they're going to

581
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 2: be fine.

582
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm in the same place. I'd think, like, yeah,

583
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 7: just a lot more like transparency, yeah, just and honesty

584
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,399
Speaker 7: and hopefully use this as an opportunity to deepen in

585
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 7: intimacy and trust and care and compassion in your relationship.

586
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 7: I think there is, you know, the doorway for that.

587
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 7: And also it makes sense if you don't have the

588
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 7: capacity to.

589
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 4: Because on that road, this was a huge breach of

590
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,159
Speaker 4: trust and if you want to continue the relationship, you

591
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 4: have to build back so much of that trust, and

592
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 4: some people cannot do it. And that is not bad.

593
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 4: That just means like, that's just you saying like I

594
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,640
Speaker 4: don't think I can. I don't have the capacity to

595
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 4: get back that trust. And that's okay.

596
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:10,959
Speaker 7: Yeah.

597
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

598
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 2: Here.

599
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

600
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

601
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:20,199
Speaker 4: My husband stopped putting effort into our relationship. I'm tired

602
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 4: of his excuses.

603
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 7: I'm done, I'm tired, get mad.

604
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 4: I twenty three female have been with my husband thirty two,

605
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 4: male for five years and married for three So you're quite.

606
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 7: Young legally okay, legally, but like on the on the

607
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 7: edge of legally okay.

608
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, depends what state you're in.

609
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:42,880
Speaker 7: Yeah, I guess.

610
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 4: Our relationship has had it's up and downs, but we

611
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,879
Speaker 4: always do our best to improve. Every day he shows

612
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 4: me love and affection. Our relationship is the most stable

613
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 4: and secure.

614
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 6: It is so stable and so secure.

615
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 4: She's like, it's so stable. As of last we moved

616
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,439
Speaker 4: out of our prior apartment and now are in a

617
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 4: house with more stability for our health and financial situation. Guys,

618
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 4: Opie's freaking stable. She's okay.

619
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 6: If you say otherwise, you're freaking unstable.

620
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 7: You're unstable.

621
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Inner Cattle fifty seven

622
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,159
Speaker 4: to twenty seven on the Okay Storytime Separate It. So

623
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 4: next month we'll be celebrating our anniversary and we will

624
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 4: officially be married for three years. When we got married,

625
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 4: we couldn't afford to do anything for a honeymoon and

626
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 4: couldn't do anything special for our anniversaries over the years.

627
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 4: With us now being able to afford to do more,

628
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 4: we decided to go out of state for our anniversary.

629
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 4: We also both recently got on some mental health medication.

630
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 4: He's on anxiety medication and I am on both anxiety

631
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 4: and antidepressants. Like any medication, drinking is supposed to be avoided.

632
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 4: My husband, though, is a boozer who he still drinks

633
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 4: while taking his medication, saying it gives him a decent high.

634
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 4: That's that's probably not good, oh no, but it also

635
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,479
Speaker 4: makes him sicker and have to call in more often.

636
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 4: I have made it clear to my husband that with

637
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 4: him calling out so much, if it was any other job,

638
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 4: he would have been fired. If I'm thinking correctly. My

639
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 4: husband has barely worked for more than two weeks since

640
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 4: the middle of last month. I have told him that

641
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 4: I would like him to work his entire schedule and

642
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 4: not drink if he's still going to take his medicine.

643
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 4: So far he has agreed, so hopefully that part improves it.

644
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 4: You remember, yes, you're so they're so freaking stable, and

645
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 4: op reminds us. It seems with the stability of being

646
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 4: in a house, my husband has somewhat stopped putting efforts

647
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 4: into the relationship. So they're like so stable that it's

648
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 4: kind of making them a little less stable.

649
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 7: Yeah, Well, they're so stable they can be unstable.

650
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 4: Yeah.

651
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 7: Because they're so stable, they're.

652
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 4: So freaking stable. Do you understand how I get it? Yeah? Yes,

653
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 4: do you.

654
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 3: Guys so stable that I'm unstable?

655
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 5: Right now?

656
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 3: I'm it's jumping out of the story. How stable I

657
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 3: am right now?

658
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 4: Yes? He still spends time with me, says he loves

659
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 4: and we still spend time together and try new things together.

660
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 4: He just hasn't tried to put effort into things like

661
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 4: surprise outings and dates. I'm usually the one saying, let's

662
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 4: go out of town, let's go here, let's do that.

663
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 4: I feel like I have to practically force him to

664
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 4: find out where he wants to eat, and even then

665
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 4: he doesn't usually suggest anything. But with me being an

666
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 4: habitual person, I struggle finding or suggesting places we should go. Yes,

667
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 4: he tries on the dates, and usually if he has money,

668
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 4: he pays for the meal. It's the fact that I

669
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 4: feel like I'm the only one trying to put effort

670
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 4: into finding things to do. I don't ask for much.

671
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 4: It makes me extremely happy when he decides to suggest

672
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 4: doing things together or visit someplace new. He showed up

673
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 4: and gave me a cool stick and that made me happy.

674
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 4: And yes I still have that stick where this.

675
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 7: Man is literally doing the barest minimum and LP's.

676
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 4: Like I got a stick, so stable. If okay, preface,

677
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 4: if your partner was doing other great things and also

678
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 4: got to you a cool stick, great, he only got

679
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 4: you a cool stick, raise the bar and or stick.

680
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 2: I kind of want to stick right now. What I

681
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 2: want a cool stick?

682
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 4: Okay, at least at least two sticks. My anger might

683
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 4: solely be just stress, but I feel like I'm being

684
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 4: listened to by what I'm saying isn't being acknowledged. I

685
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 4: even told my husband about the fact that not going

686
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 4: to work is putting stress on me because in a

687
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 4: couple of weeks we're leaving for our anniversary and I

688
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 4: don't even know if we'll have money to try to

689
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 4: pay for anything. But he just brushes off my concern

690
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 4: and guilts me by saying sorry that I haven't been

691
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 4: feeling well. My mental health is crap, but he says

692
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 4: it in a sarcastic and pointed way that makes me

693
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 4: feel bad for mentioning it. You don't even have to

694
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 4: tell me. I already read it like that. Because your

695
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 4: relationship is a stable. That's it's it's really stable. This

696
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 4: trip means a lot to me, and I've already put

697
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 4: a little less than one thousand dollars into the trip.

698
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 4: But with his actions, it's like he doesn't care and

699
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 4: won't try.

700
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 7: If he doesn't give her a stick on the trip,

701
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 7: I'm gonna be pissed, So be a really cool stick.

702
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 4: I'm trying to make this memorable and the best anniversary,

703
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 4: but it feels like he's brushing off my concern. I

704
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 4: already told him almost half a year ago about my

705
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 4: plans on us doing something for our anniversary, and two

706
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 4: months ago I started talking about and paying for everything.

707
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 4: Then he got sick for almost a week, using all

708
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 4: of his sick time, and I understood he was feeling ill,

709
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 4: like go to a doctor sick. But the following week,

710
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 4: when he was better, he was having panic attacks and

711
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 4: throwing up from stress. I still understood, and he used

712
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 4: up all his vacation time because of that. He went

713
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 4: on medication for his anxiety, and I was proud of

714
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 4: him because he's never been on any medication before for

715
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 4: mental health. Then he started drinking with his medicine. I've

716
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 4: expressed my dis approval and Because of that, he kept

717
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 4: calling out sick, so his paycheck's up been small. This

718
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 4: is not good. I try to be patient, but with

719
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 4: how little he has worked as of late, I'm trying

720
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 4: to understand and be by his side, but everything is

721
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 4: building up and making me stressed. And when I'm stressed,

722
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,520
Speaker 4: I become either angry or depressed, and I don't know

723
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,239
Speaker 4: what to do. This just seems like a just No.

724
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 4: One's in a good place right now.

725
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 3: Yeah?

726
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 7: Are they married?

727
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 4: Yeah? Married for three years.

728
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 2: Damn.

729
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 4: We're open with talking when we have a problem. As

730
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 4: of late, no matter when I try to tell him

731
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 4: how I feel, he throws it back in my face,

732
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 4: making me feel horrible, and he acts like I don't

733
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 4: understand and trying like I know what he's going through,

734
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 4: and it's like he forgets that. I'm also just starting

735
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 4: on anxiety and depression medication, and just like him, I

736
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 4: use the medicine although it is in affecting me horribly.

737
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 4: I'm also not drinking before or after I take medicine.

738
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:54,719
Speaker 4: I don't complain, and I still go to work, and

739
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 4: even then, I'm still trying to plan dates and get

740
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 4: him gifts. I try to do anything that we can

741
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 4: do together. But he also got you a stick, don't

742
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 4: forget that. With that and trying to save money for

743
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 4: our trip, it feels like I'm the only one putting

744
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 4: financial effort to this endeavor. I don't know. I just

745
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 4: feel like I'm being a jerk. But I feel so

746
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 4: angry with him. But I'm trying to be patient and

747
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 4: not let him see how stressed I am, because he

748
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,760
Speaker 4: already is stressed enough. He can simply bring me flowers

749
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 4: and suggest a place to eat or shop, and I

750
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 4: would be over the moon. Yes, I would be even

751
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 4: more happy to be wearing a wedding ring on my

752
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 4: finger once more, as well you took it off.

753
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 7: I don't think she ever got it.

754
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,399
Speaker 4: But he also acts like it's funny to say he'll

755
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,800
Speaker 4: replace my wedding ring with a dollar ring from TIMU.

756
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 4: My wedding ring was too tight and I could hardly

757
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:43,800
Speaker 4: get it off, so he got you the wrong size. Yeah,

758
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 4: I've told him he isn't allowed to spend less than

759
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 4: them out he spent on the first ring, which was

760
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 4: only thirty bucks. WHOA, and he wants to buy you

761
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 4: a one dollar ring. He doesn't care about you. He

762
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 4: does not care about it'll just get you a stick. Yeah, raceless.

763
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 4: I feel like crap Emotionally. I know that for the

764
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:04,839
Speaker 4: wedding ring, it will be a while till he replaces it.

765
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,799
Speaker 4: I know and I understand. Wedding rings aren't always cheap

766
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 4: and affordable. That's why I never ask for a different

767
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,840
Speaker 4: ring when we got married. My wedding ring is my

768
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 4: engagement ring. I'm currently wearing my wedding ring out a

769
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 4: necklace that he gave me, and I never take it off.

770
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 4: I value everything I'm given. It is something that matters

771
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 4: to me. He hasn't given me gifts. He hasn't been

772
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:27,360
Speaker 4: suggesting places to go or activities to do on our

773
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 4: dates or even for our anniversary. He has used up

774
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 4: all of his sick in vacation time. He invalidates my

775
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 4: concern and worry about finances for the trip by flipping

776
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 4: it over to the fact that he hasn't been mentally

777
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 4: well when both of us are mentally unstable at this point.

778
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 4: His lack of effort is making me worry that I

779
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,839
Speaker 4: will be paying for everything during our entire trip and

780
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 4: planning everything, and that doesn't feel great. This is our anniversary,

781
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 4: not just my anniversary. By joining us live every weekday

782
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 4: three PMPSD on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok just hop our

783
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 4: profile and there is a little bit more.

784
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:02,400
Speaker 2: But I have so many thoughts.

785
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 4: Stang me too, what are your thoughts?

786
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'll trade, Okay, I know we were making a

787
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 7: lot of jokes. Yeah, but this is really sad.

788
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 4: This is really sad.

789
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:17,720
Speaker 6: This is really sad, and she is taking a lot Yeah.

790
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:22,439
Speaker 7: So op, the issues around your relationship, to be real

791
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 7: with you, are so much deeper than just him not

792
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 7: putting in time, energetic or financial effort. It seems like

793
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 7: your partner is majorly struggling not only with like mental

794
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:40,800
Speaker 7: health and everything around that, but also like more.

795
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 4: Deep sited, deep seated like.

796
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:47,720
Speaker 7: Addiction challenges and tendencies, and with all of these things,

797
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 7: your partner is not able to show up to a

798
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 7: relationship in it seems like any capacity to give you

799
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 7: the relationship that you deserve. And so I think it's

800
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,239
Speaker 7: so much more. And then just like oh you just

801
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 7: need to you know, suggest things or you know, pay

802
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,279
Speaker 7: a little more money. I think it's to have a

803
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,839
Speaker 7: serious look at the state that your partner is in.

804
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 7: And I think it's so far beyond just adjusting the

805
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 7: container of your relationship, but asking yourself, like, if nothing changes,

806
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 7: would you be comfortable to stay in this relationship with

807
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 7: this person? Because if you try to change your partner

808
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 7: or have expectations or hopes that your partner is going

809
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 7: to change that they usually are will be let down.

810
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 7: And because we can't at the end of the day,

811
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 7: we can't change people. And so if you're willing to

812
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 7: accept this as it is, that's your choice, and if not,

813
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,240
Speaker 7: this is how it is, and it possibly might always

814
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 7: be like this.

815
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, And on that point, I think of like, you

816
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 4: can't change your partner, OPI, You've you've brought up your concerns.

817
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 4: The only person that can not drink was on medication

818
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 4: and make that decision or like go to rehab or

819
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,720
Speaker 4: something like that is him. And if he's not willing

820
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,040
Speaker 4: to do that, then you do not owe him and

821
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:02,840
Speaker 4: you do not owe it to him to stay with

822
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 4: him and put yourself in that situation. So yeah, I

823
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:11,560
Speaker 4: think that this relationship is I think over and yeah,

824
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 4: which is sad because it seems like this was I mean,

825
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 4: you're young, so it seems like it's like a it's

826
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 4: a big deal.

827
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,239
Speaker 7: But which also on the bright side, you're.

828
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,439
Speaker 4: Young and you're twenty three.

829
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 7: Yeah, so much of your life left to have a

830
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 7: relationship with someone that has the capacity the way that

831
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:27,439
Speaker 7: you deserve to be met.

832
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, but let's finish the story. I even told my

833
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 4: coworker and she was frustrated for me and said, with

834
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,359
Speaker 4: how he's acting, if it wasn't the fact that it's

835
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 4: for an anniversary, I should just leave him at home

836
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,359
Speaker 4: and enjoy my time there because it will pretty much

837
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 4: be the same thing as you going together out because

838
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 4: I'll still be doing everything by myself when it comes

839
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,960
Speaker 4: to money and planning. I love my husband, I really do.

840
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 4: But am I overthinking and letting my stress get the

841
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 4: better of me? Am I the jerk for being mad

842
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 4: at my husband? No? You're not, and you're not overthinking

843
00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 4: these are? You need to think more? Honestly?

844
00:38:59,680 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 2: Yeah?

845
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 7: The question am I jerk for being upset and my

846
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 7: husband makes me really sad? Actually, Yeah, I want you to.

847
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 4: See your worth you're underthinking.

848
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 7: I want you to see your worth. I want you

849
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 7: to put down standards or how you deserve to be treated,

850
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:17,280
Speaker 7: and to uphold the closest people to you with those standards.

851
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 4: But I hope that you know you're able to leave

852
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 4: this situation. But that is the end of that story.

853
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 7: I've given my man child husband so many chances. I

854
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 7: think it's time to finally move on, Move Move, As

855
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 7: the title says, I have to have a very difficult

856
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 7: conversation with my husband, and I'm just not sure the

857
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 7: best approach. He is someone who thinks he's always right.

858
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 7: He also has ADHD, and as a result.

859
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,840
Speaker 4: RSD rejection sensitivity disorder.

860
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 7: You learn something every day. Rejection sensitivity disorder so usually goes.

861
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 4: Hand with ADHD, just like you very sensitive to rejection,

862
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 4: as the name implies.

863
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 7: Interesting, I've never heard of this connection.

864
00:39:58,880 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 2: Maybe it's me too.

865
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 7: So he completely shuts down and overreacts majorly to any criticism.

866
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 7: Part of what makes this difficult is that he's absolutely

867
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 7: infuriating to bring up issues too, so I often don't.

868
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,359
Speaker 7: And by this way, this comes from sav l one

869
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,840
Speaker 7: two on the r okay storytime subreddit. So it always

870
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 7: confuses me when someone's like, oh, yeah, my partner has

871
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 7: no room to have an argument or to have a

872
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 7: healthy conflict, and I'm like, how do you have a

873
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 7: healthy relationship?

874
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, you can't have a healthy relationship if you

875
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 4: can have healthy communication, agreed.

876
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 7: So that makes me sad when I hear that. But

877
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 7: for example, when I've tried to bring up our huge

878
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 7: household labor gap, he'll get mad, roll his eyes and

879
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 7: then oversimplify to do more housework and don't expect any direction.

880
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 7: Cool and be done with it. He's very immature and

881
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 7: unfortunately did not experience any form of healthy relationships or

882
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:56,360
Speaker 7: communication in his childhood, and it shows he tends to

883
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,919
Speaker 7: overvalue his role and it's not open to criticism as mention.

884
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 7: Since it sucks so bad to talk to him about anything,

885
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 7: I typically keep my gripes to myself. This is not insulting,

886
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 7: but this does not sound like not relationship. No yeah,

887
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 7: so Yet he's happy to nitpick and gripe about anything,

888
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 7: and if I try to give at all give my side,

889
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,880
Speaker 7: he calls it an excuse, says I'm gaslighting him, et cetera.

890
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 7: It's just ridiculous. But I refuse to let this one go.

891
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 7: Over the weekend, he brought up our lack of intimacy,

892
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 7: physical touch and overall general lovingness. He's out wrong. I'm

893
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:37,759
Speaker 7: completely turned off and resentful towards him. But I've been

894
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 7: for a while, which I'll get into.

895
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 4: Well, it's because I mean, it seems like you have

896
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 4: a lot of other problems going on in this relationship.

897
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 7: Yeah.

898
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:47,839
Speaker 4: Honestly, I think that if you are at a point

899
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 4: where you're like, I'm trying to have a conversation with

900
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 4: him and he just refuses to, you know, meet me

901
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 4: in that space, then it's time to maybe and the relationship.

902
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, the spicy sleeplie is usually a representation of the.

903
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 4: Relationship, if that is a part of your relationship.

904
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,719
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's like it's like a symptom instead of like

905
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 7: something that is usually like the cause sometimes. Yeah, I

906
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 7: think so. So he's not wrong. I'm completely turned off

907
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,919
Speaker 7: and resentful towards him. I have been for a while,

908
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 7: which I'll get into. But I hate any kissing and

909
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 7: hugging and can't find a kind word to offer it.

910
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 7: I'm not very outwardly loving. We've had a rough go

911
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 7: of things for years. I felt like he was my

912
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,279
Speaker 7: rock and my best friend for a long time. We

913
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 7: met when I was a single mom of two, and

914
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 7: he was a big support system to me in many ways.

915
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 7: We went through a recurrent loss and infertility situation for

916
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,879
Speaker 7: a bit before having our child together, and I don't

917
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 7: know if I've had made it without him. There was

918
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:46,839
Speaker 7: some infidelity on his end during the pregnancy and our

919
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 7: daughter's first few months. He lied about and hit a

920
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 7: gambling addiction. We walked through, but I'm not sure I

921
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 7: really I really fully moved on. So the infidelity was

922
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 7: the gambling addiction, there was all so.

923
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 4: Like both there is two things, Okay, yeah, yeah.

924
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 7: Got it. He also just isn't an active partner at all.

925
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 7: He goes to work and comes home to play video

926
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 7: games and that's it. He does take toddler to and

927
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 7: from daycare, but everything is else is on me. I'm

928
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 7: not exaggerating when I say he gets up in the morning,

929
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 7: gets dressed, takes kid to daycare, works, picks kid up,

930
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 7: and comes home to a mentally pop down on the

931
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 7: couch or at his desk. All right, I'm just gonna

932
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 7: say it here. This is not a relationship. No, this

933
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:32,919
Speaker 7: is not a romantic relationship. At this point, you are

934
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 7: roommates who don't like each other. You're cohabitating, and you're

935
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 7: co parenting. But other than that, there is it seems

936
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 7: like there isn't a relationship.

937
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:42,919
Speaker 4: There's not a relationship to save at this point.

938
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 7: Yeah, you would have. It seems like if you wanted

939
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 7: a relationship with them, you need to start from like

940
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:50,400
Speaker 7: ground Z.

941
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:50,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, and.

942
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 7: A relationship with this person because there isn't right now. Yeah.

943
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 7: So one hundred percent of the housework, invisible labor mentor

944
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,440
Speaker 7: mental load, and raising the children is on me. He

945
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 7: plays with the kids sometimes, and after a lot of

946
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 7: complaining for me, has started staying home alone with our

947
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:10,360
Speaker 7: daughter when she's in bed so I could grab drinks

948
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 7: with my friends on occasion while the older two are

949
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 7: with dad. He also has tried to attend more outings

950
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 7: with the family, but does not contribute to any actual

951
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 7: house adult parenting tasks. As you can imagine, being left

952
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 7: to handle one hundred percent of everything while also working

953
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 7: full time while he spends his day sleeping in and

954
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:32,319
Speaker 7: playing video games doesn't make me very happy loving. I

955
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 7: just feel like he has no respect to regard for

956
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 7: me at all and treats me more like a house

957
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 7: elf than a partner, because you guys kind of aren't

958
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 7: really partners.

959
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,480
Speaker 4: No, he's just expecting you to take care of the

960
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 4: kid and take care of the house.

961
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 7: He constantly has asked me to wait on him, find

962
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 7: his things, grab him a drink, serve him dinner at

963
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:52,840
Speaker 7: his desk, etc. I was taken aback this week. And

964
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 7: when he threw out that he get a divorce if

965
00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:57,840
Speaker 7: I didn't improve my attitude.

966
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 4: Take him up on it, take it up on it, just.

967
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 2: Get it out.

968
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:04,240
Speaker 7: This is like now he's just casually throwing out divorce.

969
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, threatening with you.

970
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:11,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, to improve your attitude? Yeah, super nothing, there's nothing

971
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 4: there left.

972
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:12,799
Speaker 2: Yeah.

973
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:15,319
Speaker 7: The only thing that seems to be there to be

974
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 7: saved is the children.

975
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 4: The children, Yes, but it's your relationship.

976
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:22,439
Speaker 7: Your relationship, there's it doesn't seem the one positive, one

977
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 7: positive thing to save.

978
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 4: No.

979
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:29,359
Speaker 7: At this point, I'm not particularly opposed to divorcing, but

980
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 7: I like it to work out and get back to

981
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 7: the times we had before. I'm not one to stay

982
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 7: for the kids, but I really would like to at

983
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,720
Speaker 7: least say I have our marriage. I gave our marriage

984
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 7: my best shot. When he brought this up, I was

985
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 7: angry at his audacity to even complain when his whole

986
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,840
Speaker 7: life is handed to him on a platter by me.

987
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 7: He wouldn't even know what toilet paper to buy, or

988
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 7: where our daughter's clothes are and he wants to complain

989
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 7: about anything, but he refused to hear me out. Said

990
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 7: the entirety of our relationship problems are my fault because

991
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 7: I didn't don't ask for help, which is bs and

992
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 7: anytime I tried to say anything, he dominated the conversation,

993
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 7: said he makes all the effort to do better while

994
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,799
Speaker 7: I make none. I'm certain he knows better, but he's

995
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,239
Speaker 7: trying to make me think I'm the wrong. I'm also

996
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:14,759
Speaker 7: certain he thinks he's contributing much more than he is,

997
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 7: so I'm giving it one last conversation for him to

998
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 7: come to his senses. As is probably obvious, he's in

999
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 7: delusional manchildland right now. I plan to sit him down,

1000
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 7: talk about everything I do, why I'm so angry and resentful,

1001
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 7: have a list of my task so he could sort

1002
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 7: out what he's going to take on, and give him

1003
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 7: the opportunity to acknowledge why his complaint and expectations are

1004
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:37,280
Speaker 7: totally absurd and unfair. My goal is to lay everything

1005
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 7: out and let him sort out for himself if he's

1006
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 7: up for the challenge of actually being an adult and partner,

1007
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,479
Speaker 7: if he'd rather go for the divorce, for what it's worth.

1008
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:46,799
Speaker 7: I've complained plenty that he doesn't help, but never had

1009
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:48,440
Speaker 7: to sit down about what I do and gave him

1010
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:52,400
Speaker 7: the option to grow up or he's done. Okay, I

1011
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 7: can tell you right now that will go awful. I

1012
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 7: understand the desire to do that, to be seen by

1013
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 7: your partner in all that you do and all the

1014
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:02,839
Speaker 7: tasks you do.

1015
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 4: But he if he can't see that now, he's not

1016
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:05,719
Speaker 4: going to see.

1017
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 7: He's not going to and he doesn't want to see it.

1018
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 7: And someone who you're saying has no capacity to see,

1019
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 7: to have self awareness, or to under too take on

1020
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 7: other people's perspectives in conflict, like to come at him

1021
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 7: with anger and the demands and the blame is just

1022
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 7: going to make him even more defensive, which is going

1023
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 7: to make him blaming of you, and then it's just

1024
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 7: going to bring things down. I don't think what is

1025
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 7: needed is a one conversation to fix everything. I think

1026
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 7: what is needed is a conversation to say, do we

1027
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 7: want to be in this relationship together and not? And

1028
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 7: if we do want to be in this relationship not

1029
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 7: out of a sense of obligation, but out of a

1030
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 7: sense for care and love and compassion we've had. We

1031
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 7: were best friends at one point, and we loved each

1032
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 7: other at one point, Like, this is what a relationship

1033
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 7: that would feel good to me looks like, what would

1034
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,920
Speaker 7: a relationship that feels good for you look like? And

1035
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 7: do we have the energy in order to create this

1036
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 7: relationship together?

1037
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:06,759
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1038
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,800
Speaker 7: And if not, then there's a conversation about going separate ways.

1039
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:13,840
Speaker 4: Yeah. But I also think that you know, you've seen

1040
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 4: his response to these types of conversations where you've brought

1041
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 4: up what you need and what needs to change, and

1042
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 4: it doesn't seem like he's receptive. So if you try

1043
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:26,880
Speaker 4: to have this last final conversation, I just also think

1044
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:30,000
Speaker 4: you have to know like that that was the last

1045
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 4: chance you have to so at a certain point move

1046
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 4: on for your own you know, mental health, and for

1047
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 4: your own ability to be a good parent because you can't.

1048
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 4: I don't think. I think it's really hard to be

1049
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 4: a good parent in a situation like this.

1050
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,879
Speaker 7: Well, I'm confident I'm not wrong here, and I think

1051
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:48,920
Speaker 7: anyone would agree with me. I have every right to

1052
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 7: be as straightforward as i'd like. I think it's also

1053
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 7: obvious that by jumping in on him with an attack

1054
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,239
Speaker 7: is not going to do anyone any good. But if

1055
00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 7: you want to do a lot of good, you could

1056
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:03,240
Speaker 7: join us live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch every

1057
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 7: weekday at three pm live PST.

1058
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:07,360
Speaker 4: Just tap a profile.

1059
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 7: There's another relevant update. But let's discuss I think we discussed.

1060
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't have any of other thoughts, all right,

1061
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 4: I just want to hear.

1062
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 7: I do know it's going to be hard regardless, but

1063
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 7: I'm hoping for suggestions. I'm not good at confrontation or

1064
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 7: talking about my feelings. He's not good at receiving criticism.

1065
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 7: It's not a not a good match. Now doesn't work out? Yeah?

1066
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 4: It isn't working out?

1067
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 7: Yeah? Is a message better so he could read and

1068
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 7: think about his response? Is face to face better so

1069
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,239
Speaker 7: we can understand tone? Do I tell him this is

1070
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:40,319
Speaker 7: me asking for help? But do I just tell him

1071
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 7: I'm taking the opportunity to be transparent, that there will

1072
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 7: be no change in my demeanor until there's a change

1073
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,719
Speaker 7: in his. Do I maybe keep it unrelated to our

1074
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:50,439
Speaker 7: talk on the weekend and focus more about the lack

1075
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:52,880
Speaker 7: of respect, my need for our partner slash more support.

1076
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 7: Is there a certain way to award things that are

1077
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 7: better for people with RSD. I've heard about using eye statements,

1078
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 7: but I'm not really sure what that means. Has anyone

1079
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:05,480
Speaker 7: had any luck salvaging a marriage from this is their hope?

1080
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:06,919
Speaker 7: He'll open his eyes here.

1081
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,840
Speaker 4: I honestly still don't think this marriage can be salvaged.

1082
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 4: I agree, but I think that there is hope to

1083
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 4: maybe salvage co parenting.

1084
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:16,279
Speaker 7: That is where we're at.

1085
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:19,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that is the end of that story.

1086
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 8: My aunt is furious that we want a child free wedding.

1087
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,880
Speaker 8: Now she is using Bible versus to guilt me.

1088
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 4: The Lord says you need to have children out your wedding.

1089
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:33,280
Speaker 4: He says it in the Bible.

1090
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,840
Speaker 8: Hello, I twenty nine female just got married to my

1091
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:40,960
Speaker 8: very best friend and the love of my life, thirty

1092
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 8: one male last Saturday.

1093
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:43,800
Speaker 4: Congratulations.

1094
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 8: It was everything we could have ever dreamt of, and

1095
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,400
Speaker 8: multiple people came up to us and said it was

1096
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 8: the best wedding they'd ever been to a man, I'll

1097
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:55,200
Speaker 8: buy it.

1098
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 4: Buy it. Trying to stuck up to you. Ah, just

1099
00:50:57,840 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 4: let him believe it.

1100
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,759
Speaker 8: By the way, this was from a Secret Serenity four

1101
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 8: four one two seven on the RSLASH Okay.

1102
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:05,320
Speaker 4: Story time is separated it.

1103
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 8: We got married at my family church and had a

1104
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:11,319
Speaker 8: guest count of about seventy. We knew we wanted to

1105
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 8: keep the wedding on a smaller side because my husband

1106
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:17,320
Speaker 8: has auditory processing delay, making it hard for him to

1107
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 8: handle large crowds with lots of loud noise. I also

1108
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:22,919
Speaker 8: knew my parents and in laws were helping to pay

1109
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:24,799
Speaker 8: for a lot of the wedding, and I hated the

1110
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 8: idea of bankrupting them just for a big party. So

1111
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 8: considerate all that being said, we decided on a child

1112
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:33,719
Speaker 8: free wedding. It is also relatively well known that my

1113
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 8: husband and I do not wish to have children, maybe

1114
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 8: fostering or adopting later on in life, but who knows

1115
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 8: what the future holds. It's not that we don't enjoy children.

1116
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 8: I love my little cousins, but it's a decision we've made.

1117
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:47,840
Speaker 4: Together and don't feel the need to justify it to anyone.

1118
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,239
Speaker 4: I think it's period like, also, we don't want to

1119
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 4: see them. We don't want them at our wedding right shock.

1120
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 8: A few months ago, when I was checking in with

1121
00:51:57,239 --> 00:51:59,920
Speaker 8: people on OURCPS, my aunt let's call her so.

1122
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:03,319
Speaker 4: Was like, yeah, sure, your uncle and I will be.

1123
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:07,000
Speaker 8: There a few minutes of silence, and then the message

1124
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:10,240
Speaker 8: that started it all, a child free wedding.

1125
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 4: What happened to family? Read James two to one. Please

1126
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:18,239
Speaker 4: for those that would like to know that Bible verse reads, my.

1127
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:22,280
Speaker 8: Brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ,

1128
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 8: must not show favoritism.

1129
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 4: I was a favorite doism. I don't think that's favorite doism.

1130
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:30,520
Speaker 4: I don't think that's I don't think it's the great verse.

1131
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 4: It's a bit of a stretch. I think. Yeah. Sally

1132
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 4: essentially accused me of showing favoritism.

1133
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 8: Towards guests without children and being against children in general.

1134
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 4: I was furious. Like I said, I would have loved

1135
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 4: to invite all the kids in our families because they're

1136
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 4: all actually.

1137
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 8: Really cool and I love them to bits. But I

1138
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:51,960
Speaker 8: wanted my husband to feel comfortable on our special day

1139
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 8: and didn't want to break the bank. I also go

1140
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 8: to church regularly and have sung in church choir since

1141
00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 8: I was a kid. My least favorite thing on earth

1142
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 8: is when people throw Bible verses at others to make

1143
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 8: them feel guilty. I responded to her message with as

1144
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:08,680
Speaker 8: much composure and compassion as I could must.

1145
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:08,920
Speaker 3: No.

1146
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 4: No, what you do is you respond with another Bible verse,

1147
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 4: throw it back, be like actually you suck, but a

1148
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 4: Bible something about like not judging. Yeah, may the first,

1149
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 4: May one without sin be the first to cast the stone.

1150
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:31,319
Speaker 4: There you go, sons fact check that in the conject.

1151
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:36,440
Speaker 8: I responded with all due respects Aunt Sally, this is

1152
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 8: not a decision of favoritism. I know there will be

1153
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:42,320
Speaker 8: alcohol and dance music out of reception, and my partner

1154
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:44,279
Speaker 8: and I didn't think that it was an appropriate place

1155
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 8: to have young children, and we didn't think it was

1156
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:49,960
Speaker 8: very kind to invite children to the wedding ceremony and

1157
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 8: then deny them the reception. We did our best to

1158
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 8: make this decision out of compassion and fairness. I hope

1159
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:59,400
Speaker 8: you understand that sounds That sounds very solid, Sarah boss

1160
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 8: I ever responded, and I nearly forgot about it. She

1161
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 8: was also invited to my bridal shower and said she

1162
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:11,000
Speaker 8: would be there but never showed. It wasn't necessarily surprising,

1163
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 8: as my side of the family can be a little flaky,

1164
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:15,600
Speaker 8: so I didn't pay much mind. The next time I

1165
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:19,080
Speaker 8: saw her was the day of the wedding side story

1166
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:23,719
Speaker 8: for context, my cousin aunt Sally's aunt Sally's daughter, let's

1167
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:26,720
Speaker 8: call her Meghan. It's currently going through a nasty divorce

1168
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 8: and has three young kids, ages ranged from about two

1169
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 8: to eight years old. It can be hard for her

1170
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:34,439
Speaker 8: to find a babysitter, so my aunt Sally usually looks

1171
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:37,760
Speaker 8: after them. With Sally and Megan rsvping to the wedding,

1172
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 8: I assumed she found a sitter.

1173
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:42,840
Speaker 4: From our point of view, the wedding goes off without hitch.

1174
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 8: It's time for family photos and we find that Meghan

1175
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:49,320
Speaker 8: and Sally are missing. We asked around and someone says,

1176
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 8: Meghan already left.

1177
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 4: Without saying goodbye. I guess irish goodbye. Good to say

1178
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:56,960
Speaker 4: that she literally had.

1179
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,840
Speaker 8: Aunt Sally is waiting in the cars go to the venue.

1180
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 8: Keep in mind that the ceremony itself was super short

1181
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 8: and the venue is practically walking distance.

1182
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 4: From the church, so there was absolutely no reason to hurry.

1183
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:12,759
Speaker 8: Well, we're all lined up and ready, So Sally and

1184
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:16,080
Speaker 8: Megan miss being in the family photos. Photos are yeah,

1185
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:20,680
Speaker 8: photoshot ai so much available to you. The rest of

1186
00:55:20,680 --> 00:55:22,880
Speaker 8: the night is beautiful and fun and everyone has a

1187
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:23,359
Speaker 8: great time.

1188
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 4: I didn't. I don't learn the real story until the

1189
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 4: next day. Honestly, I think that's good. I'm glad that

1190
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:32,560
Speaker 4: no one told you the real story until after your wedding. Right,

1191
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:37,360
Speaker 4: enjoy your day to cause annecessary stress with all that rama.

1192
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:42,200
Speaker 8: Exactly, it turns out we have some loyal family moles.

1193
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:47,400
Speaker 8: Nice and aunt Sally was talking smack in the shadows.

1194
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:51,400
Speaker 8: My wonderful brother in law doing the lord's work, overheard

1195
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:55,440
Speaker 8: Sally complaining to someone about how rude and inconsiderate I

1196
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,520
Speaker 8: was not to invite children to the wedding. The brother

1197
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:02,000
Speaker 8: in law was so taking back by the audacity of

1198
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:05,839
Speaker 8: this woman that he immediately reports to my sister. He

1199
00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 8: wanted to confront her about her rude comments, but my

1200
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 8: sister helped him back to avoid causing sea.

1201
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:13,760
Speaker 4: Shot her brother in law. Yeah, honestly.

1202
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:17,160
Speaker 8: Yeah, brother in law is from Columbia and definitely has

1203
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 8: that Latin fire in defense of his friends and family,

1204
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 8: which I appreciate. But Sis made the right call in

1205
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 8: the moment. I was none the wiser and I am

1206
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:29,800
Speaker 8: the kind to stew quietly over a nasty comment comment,

1207
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:31,000
Speaker 8: so she saved the day.

1208
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:32,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, good on them, dang.

1209
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:35,320
Speaker 8: Not only did the brother in law hear this? Another

1210
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:39,720
Speaker 8: cousin overheard, and this cousin then reported to my mother

1211
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 8: it's straight to the top, right to the It was

1212
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:46,920
Speaker 8: also reported that during pictures, the reason Meghan and Sally

1213
00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 8: were missing is because Aunt Sally was in the car

1214
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:51,360
Speaker 8: with Megan's ChIL dreads.

1215
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:53,799
Speaker 4: So they literally brought them and just left them in

1216
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:56,799
Speaker 4: the car for the ceremony of ceremony. Wait, yeah, what

1217
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:57,720
Speaker 4: just crack a window?

1218
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:01,759
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's like when you when you sit in the

1219
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 8: car when your parents go to run errands.

1220
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:05,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, like ten times.

1221
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 5: No.

1222
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 4: When I was a kid, my mom she would like

1223
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:10,319
Speaker 4: go into the store and my friend and I would

1224
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 4: be like, we don't want to go in, so she's

1225
00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:14,400
Speaker 4: like okay, and we would, but we lived in the valley,

1226
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 4: so we'd be in the back and it was just

1227
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:22,360
Speaker 4: like like ninety degrees were like it was our choice.

1228
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 8: Though, So instead of letting me know that she couldn't

1229
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 8: make it to the wedding because child care was an

1230
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 8: issue which would not have upset me, I understand your

1231
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 8: kids should come first. Megan thought the only solution was

1232
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:37,360
Speaker 8: keeping her kids in the car during the ceremony and

1233
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:40,080
Speaker 8: having her mother check on them during family photos.

1234
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 4: Bandoning them simply can't couldn't have been the only solution, right,

1235
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:47,440
Speaker 4: You gotta figure gotta be another one. I'm assuming they

1236
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:50,240
Speaker 4: also had a fair amount of time before the like

1237
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 4: when they got the invitations from when the wedding was,

1238
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 4: to figure it out, because that's why they that's where

1239
00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 4: they do it. They sign out wedding invitations so you

1240
00:57:57,040 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 4: could make sure that you have all of your ducks

1241
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:02,760
Speaker 4: in a order, right, Yeah, exactly, Like I know droud

1242
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 4: care is like difficult, but like there is app for

1243
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 4: these things. Yeah. Yeah.

1244
00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:09,640
Speaker 8: By the way, you can always check on us by

1245
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 8: joining us live on YouTube every weekday at three pm PST.

1246
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 4: Just tap her profile, tap ta her profile.

1247
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:17,360
Speaker 2: Don't leave us in the gar please.

1248
00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:23,000
Speaker 4: Please, But there's another relevant update. But what do we

1249
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 4: think so far? Man? It seems like Megan and Sally

1250
00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 4: are just just problem problem people. Yeah, or they're just

1251
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:34,160
Speaker 4: like really not good at problem solving. Yeah, Like I

1252
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 4: want to go to the wedding, but I got got

1253
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 4: my kids, got kids, and there's no solution because we'll

1254
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:41,400
Speaker 4: just leave them by. We're gonna leave them in the

1255
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 4: car for an hour, but they'll be fine.

1256
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 8: What are they gonna do for the reception though, because

1257
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 8: they're still not allowed, the reception will take much longer

1258
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:50,400
Speaker 8: than the ceremony.

1259
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 4: Okay, this is what they're gonna do. So they stack

1260
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:56,560
Speaker 4: eats children, They put them in a trench coat. Here

1261
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:59,440
Speaker 4: you go, put a little glasses with the fake mustache on.

1262
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:02,520
Speaker 4: It was like a great plan, problem solved. I think, so, yeah,

1263
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 4: we think about that. Didn't think so huh? In the end,

1264
00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:08,280
Speaker 4: I had no idea at the time.

1265
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 8: It didn't affect our wedding, and the only one who

1266
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 8: looked a fool here was Aunt Sally. I'm torn between

1267
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:16,800
Speaker 8: confronting her at the next family gathering and pointing out

1268
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,960
Speaker 8: how utterly alone she was in her sentiment or just

1269
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 8: totally ignoring it as if it didn't happen, because I

1270
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 8: am truly unbothered by it. It didn't make me regret

1271
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:28,560
Speaker 8: our decision to go child free for the wedding. Everyone

1272
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,920
Speaker 8: still had a wonderful time and I still love my

1273
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 8: very wonderful husband. So moral of the story, don't let

1274
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:37,480
Speaker 8: a sour puss dull your sparkle.

1275
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:41,320
Speaker 4: That always says that's in the Bible, and Jesus said that,

1276
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:44,800
Speaker 4: and Jesus and Jesus always said that that's the end

1277
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:48,560
Speaker 4: of our story. I think, oh, we handled it well. Yeah, yeah,

1278
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:52,479
Speaker 4: everyone was on her side besides Sally and Megan, right,

1279
00:59:52,560 --> 00:59:54,800
Speaker 4: And we don't need them because they they doled our

1280
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:58,120
Speaker 4: sparkle exactly, or at least tried and tried, but they couldn't.

1281
00:59:58,320 --> 00:59:59,040
Speaker 7: They couldn't.

1282
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:02,480
Speaker 4: But that is the of that story. So we'll see

1283
01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:03,040
Speaker 4: you next time.

1284
01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:06,600
Speaker 6: Hates johnyo Ogos here, We're gonna get back to the stories.

1285
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:08,200
Speaker 2: But he's a quick three minute break of ass from

1286
01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:09,040
Speaker 2: our sponsors.

1287
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:13,840
Speaker 4: My dad's girlfriend keeps stealing from weddings. Now I don't

1288
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:18,440
Speaker 4: want to invite them. That's fair. Fair. I'm forty seven

1289
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:21,720
Speaker 4: female and my dad is seventy nine. Let's start off

1290
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 4: with I love my dad even after all of this.

1291
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,360
Speaker 4: I love him, but I don't want to speak to him.

1292
01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 4: That's complicated. I do have daddy issues from things I've

1293
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 4: been through in my life with him and his mentality.

1294
01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:35,560
Speaker 4: But I do love him very much and invite him

1295
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 4: to everything we do and even just dinner out for

1296
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:42,400
Speaker 4: no reason. His wife, on the other hand, he's a challenge.

1297
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:45,080
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Big Introduction thirty three

1298
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:47,280
Speaker 4: to ninety three on the Okay storytime Separate it. So

1299
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 4: my mom and dad got divorced when I was eleven

1300
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 4: and they both moved on. So this isn't I hate

1301
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 4: the new wife because of a divorce. Years later, twenty

1302
01:00:56,000 --> 01:01:00,200
Speaker 4: my mom was oh my god unalived and my dad

1303
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 4: second wife passed away from complications from dementia. While his

1304
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:08,360
Speaker 4: second wife was sick is now third wife came around

1305
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:11,440
Speaker 4: a lot to help him out with her. My dad

1306
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:13,800
Speaker 4: went to church with this lady and has since I

1307
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 4: was born. At family functions, but the new third wife,

1308
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 4: we noticed she was a little different my first time

1309
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:23,080
Speaker 4: at their house. I realized very quickly that she is

1310
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 4: a hoarder. So at kids' birthday party, she would take

1311
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:29,520
Speaker 4: the extra plastic silverware and plates and napkins and stick

1312
01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:33,680
Speaker 4: them in her purse. At every function, after my dad

1313
01:01:33,720 --> 01:01:35,920
Speaker 4: and her would leave, we would discuss it among ourselves

1314
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:38,040
Speaker 4: that I wonder if she has a mental issue. The

1315
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:41,160
Speaker 4: last party, there were no plastic silverware left and she

1316
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:44,000
Speaker 4: dug them out of the trash. You know what, maybe

1317
01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:50,400
Speaker 4: go environmental consciousness. Sure, my daughter got engaged last year

1318
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:52,960
Speaker 4: and when we started planning the very elaborate wedding. I

1319
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:55,800
Speaker 4: spoke to my dad several times in a very nice

1320
01:01:55,840 --> 01:01:58,680
Speaker 4: way to talk to Sally and let her know that

1321
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:01,160
Speaker 4: she isn't to take any we have the silverware or

1322
01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:04,640
Speaker 4: table decorations. At one point we had a sample table

1323
01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:07,240
Speaker 4: set up and my dad saw it. I said, Daddy,

1324
01:02:07,760 --> 01:02:09,800
Speaker 4: make sure want to talk to Sally and make sure

1325
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:12,720
Speaker 4: she understands she can't take any items from the wedding

1326
01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:14,760
Speaker 4: except the guest thank you gift. My dad made a

1327
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:17,800
Speaker 4: joke about how much Sally would love the table decorations

1328
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 4: and blew me off. I was stressed that for months

1329
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:23,160
Speaker 4: that Sally would take items at the wedding, and I

1330
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:26,280
Speaker 4: again reiterated to my dad to talk to her or

1331
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:29,480
Speaker 4: leave her at home. Phearsal dinner night, hearsal dinner was

1332
01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:31,840
Speaker 4: at the venue and everything was set up for the wedding.

1333
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:34,680
Speaker 4: The next day, I was eating and looked up to

1334
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 4: see Sally grab a huge stack of napkins and put

1335
01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:41,320
Speaker 4: them in her purse. But napkins that were for both

1336
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:43,960
Speaker 4: days and were special order for the wedding, not just

1337
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 4: plane store bought napkins. I was so upset that I

1338
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,919
Speaker 4: just got up and walked outside. So I wouldn't cause

1339
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:52,920
Speaker 4: a scene. For the wedding, they weren't having alcohol, so

1340
01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:54,920
Speaker 4: they set up a hot cocoa and coffee bar that

1341
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 4: sounds great, which was for the wedding, but already set

1342
01:02:57,640 --> 01:03:00,280
Speaker 4: up the night before. While I was outside trying to

1343
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:02,680
Speaker 4: calm down, one of our family members came out and

1344
01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:06,440
Speaker 4: told me Sally was taking items from the hot cocoa bar. Cups,

1345
01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:10,320
Speaker 4: coffee stirs, and the cocoa sticks died and died in peppermint.

1346
01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 4: My oldest daughter walked over and politely, I have witnesses,

1347
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,919
Speaker 4: told her those items were for the wedding. Sally threw

1348
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:19,840
Speaker 4: the items down on the counter, threw her hands up

1349
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:23,240
Speaker 4: and huffed and walked back toward table. Boy. Man, I

1350
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:25,240
Speaker 4: think you just have to, like, if she's coming to

1351
01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:27,520
Speaker 4: an event, you just got to lock everything down. You

1352
01:03:27,560 --> 01:03:30,160
Speaker 4: just gotta put it away, lock up the stirs. Yeah,

1353
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:32,000
Speaker 4: do you know how old Sally is. She's like at

1354
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:35,360
Speaker 4: least seventy nine ish. It sounds like old person. Way

1355
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:38,120
Speaker 4: to ask. Yeah, She's like, it's mine. I really like this,

1356
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:40,080
Speaker 4: Like you you won't let me do what I want

1357
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:42,840
Speaker 4: to do, can't do anything that really doesn't It reminds

1358
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:45,440
Speaker 4: me yeah, it reminds me of old people. When I

1359
01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:47,600
Speaker 4: came back in to address the issue with my dad,

1360
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:50,080
Speaker 4: he was on his way out. He has had enough

1361
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 4: of my kids twenty four and twenty two behavior and

1362
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:56,040
Speaker 4: how his wife was just treated. I very quietly told

1363
01:03:56,080 --> 01:03:57,880
Speaker 4: my dad that we had discussed this and that she

1364
01:03:58,080 --> 01:04:01,520
Speaker 4: wasn't to leave with anything. His response to me was

1365
01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:04,000
Speaker 4: that my daughter, not the one getting married, had no

1366
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:06,720
Speaker 4: business speaking to his wife the way she did, and

1367
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:08,960
Speaker 4: that if he didn't want items taken, we should have

1368
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 4: had a sign stating that. I told my dad I

1369
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:14,280
Speaker 4: wasn't wrong, they were, and they continued to leave as

1370
01:04:14,320 --> 01:04:17,040
Speaker 4: I went to fix the drink station. Five to ten

1371
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:19,840
Speaker 4: minutes went by and I noticed my daughter the bride,

1372
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:22,720
Speaker 4: was missing, along with my husband and the other daughter.

1373
01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:25,640
Speaker 4: The bride followed my dad out and said he shouldn't

1374
01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:28,920
Speaker 4: leave in that manner, and that's when things went south.

1375
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:33,040
Speaker 4: My dad grabbed the bride by her arm, stuck his

1376
01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:36,080
Speaker 4: finger in her face and said, you're nothing but a spoiled,

1377
01:04:36,160 --> 01:04:39,560
Speaker 4: rotten brat, and you're ruined with no fix and yeah,

1378
01:04:39,920 --> 01:04:43,280
Speaker 4: this guy sucks WHOA bride grabbed his finger out of

1379
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:45,560
Speaker 4: her face and told them the only reasons he's still

1380
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:48,920
Speaker 4: standing was out of respect. She's like, I'm gonna freaking

1381
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:51,920
Speaker 4: knock you out. An out of town family member that

1382
01:04:51,960 --> 01:04:55,400
Speaker 4: did know it was the bride's grandfather, stepped in between them.

1383
01:04:55,920 --> 01:04:58,040
Speaker 4: My dad turned around to walk off and said he

1384
01:04:58,080 --> 01:05:01,200
Speaker 4: wouldn't be there tomorrow for the wedding. Well, nobody wants you,

1385
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:03,960
Speaker 4: so that's totally fine. Yeah. My husband found out what

1386
01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:06,960
Speaker 4: was going on and told him, we will address the

1387
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:10,440
Speaker 4: issue of you putting hands on my daughter later, but

1388
01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:13,160
Speaker 4: if you don't show for the wedding, your shaky relationship

1389
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:18,120
Speaker 4: with your daughter will be done. Next day was great. Surprisingly,

1390
01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:20,840
Speaker 4: my dad showed up and was even seated at our

1391
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:23,840
Speaker 4: table with his wife. He was included in all photos

1392
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:26,960
Speaker 4: with the bride and groom and family photos. My dad

1393
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:30,360
Speaker 4: didn't speak to me the entire day. I found out

1394
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:32,560
Speaker 4: later that he had someone introduce him to the family

1395
01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:35,520
Speaker 4: member that stepped in the night before and apologized to

1396
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:38,560
Speaker 4: her and an uncle that didn't have it, that didn't

1397
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:42,160
Speaker 4: have a clue anything had happened. Never apologize to me,

1398
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:46,440
Speaker 4: my husband, the bride, or my other daughter. He has

1399
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:49,680
Speaker 4: even called since then and asked for a favor I

1400
01:05:49,800 --> 01:05:52,960
Speaker 4: was busy and couldn't help. Sally texted and asked how

1401
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:56,640
Speaker 4: the honeymoon was going, and I didn't respond. My brother says,

1402
01:05:56,680 --> 01:05:59,320
Speaker 4: I'm overreacting. He's old and to just let it go.

1403
01:06:00,120 --> 01:06:02,360
Speaker 4: I don't think I can't as this is part of

1404
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 4: a very long list of male chauvinist x and comments

1405
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:09,400
Speaker 4: he's made. Just one example, Thanksgiving two years ago, my

1406
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,240
Speaker 4: dad told my daughter bride that the way you dress

1407
01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:15,360
Speaker 4: gives men the wrong idea and if something were to

1408
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 4: happen to you, it would be your fault. Those guys

1409
01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:22,560
Speaker 4: really awful. Oh he sucks. She had an address for

1410
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:24,880
Speaker 4: the first time in years except church, and it was

1411
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:31,440
Speaker 4: to her knees. Ugh, telling your grandchild, that's so weird,

1412
01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:36,920
Speaker 4: that's so weird, that's so easy. She did tell him

1413
01:06:36,920 --> 01:06:39,280
Speaker 4: how he was wrong, and his wife, Sally, defended my

1414
01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:43,240
Speaker 4: dad's statement. I could go on for days, but I won't.

1415
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:45,640
Speaker 4: Am I the a whole if I don't invite him

1416
01:06:45,680 --> 01:06:48,520
Speaker 4: to anything else? And there is an update. But what

1417
01:06:48,720 --> 01:06:51,959
Speaker 4: say you? It's so hard because he's your dad, Yeah,

1418
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:55,440
Speaker 4: the grandpa, Yeah, your kids. You know that feels like

1419
01:06:55,560 --> 01:06:58,680
Speaker 4: someone that you would have at family and special events.

1420
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:03,560
Speaker 8: Sure, but these also are these feel like this very

1421
01:07:03,880 --> 01:07:07,160
Speaker 8: like old old person like, Yeah, things to deal with

1422
01:07:07,320 --> 01:07:08,680
Speaker 8: and sometimes you don't want to deal with that.

1423
01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:11,520
Speaker 4: And that's fair too. Exactly if he's gonna, you know,

1424
01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:14,920
Speaker 4: piss off everyone in your family, then it's like you

1425
01:07:14,960 --> 01:07:16,760
Speaker 4: don't want to be around him, your kids don't want

1426
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:19,000
Speaker 4: to be around him. Yeah, so maybe he needs to

1427
01:07:19,040 --> 01:07:21,360
Speaker 4: learn that unless he changes his behavior, nobody wants to

1428
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:24,720
Speaker 4: be around him, right right. I think that's fair. But

1429
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:26,840
Speaker 4: there is an update. I have had a rocky relationship

1430
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:28,880
Speaker 4: with my dad since my parents divorce, and I have

1431
01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:31,960
Speaker 4: daddy issues because of it. I don't have any delusion

1432
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:34,080
Speaker 4: about who my dad is or what kind of man

1433
01:07:34,120 --> 01:07:36,720
Speaker 4: he is. I have two older brothers, and my dad

1434
01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:38,880
Speaker 4: never knew what to do with a girl. So on

1435
01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:41,040
Speaker 4: my weekends with him, he either left me sitting on

1436
01:07:41,040 --> 01:07:43,720
Speaker 4: the porch and never showed he insisted he did not

1437
01:07:43,800 --> 01:07:46,439
Speaker 4: want to see my mom, or he would actually show

1438
01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:48,240
Speaker 4: up and would take me to work with him on

1439
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:51,320
Speaker 4: his side job of handyman work. I'm grateful for that

1440
01:07:51,560 --> 01:07:54,000
Speaker 4: because I am independent and can fix just about anything.

1441
01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:58,240
Speaker 4: Aside from that, without going into crazy detail, I have

1442
01:07:58,360 --> 01:08:02,040
Speaker 4: gone one hundred percent no contact with his entire side

1443
01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:04,680
Speaker 4: of the family except an uncle that has nothing to

1444
01:08:04,720 --> 01:08:06,280
Speaker 4: do with any of the issues that I've come up

1445
01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:09,360
Speaker 4: in the past. I have also gone low contact or

1446
01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:12,360
Speaker 4: no contact several times since I was eighteen and legally

1447
01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:15,520
Speaker 4: allowed to. My husband and I have raised very smart,

1448
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:19,960
Speaker 4: level headed, most of the time strong women. Since my

1449
01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:23,360
Speaker 4: mom was unlived. They desperately wanted to be close to

1450
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,600
Speaker 4: my dad and he never wanted. Sash allowed it. I

1451
01:08:26,640 --> 01:08:29,559
Speaker 4: don't know why, except he's a very selfish human being.

1452
01:08:29,800 --> 01:08:33,439
Speaker 4: They learned very young what a nasty, ugly world this is,

1453
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:35,840
Speaker 4: and I allowed them to an extent to decide who

1454
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:38,719
Speaker 4: they would allow to be in their bubble. Having a parent,

1455
01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:42,000
Speaker 4: my best friend and favorite person on earth unlived is

1456
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:45,320
Speaker 4: something that puts things in a completely different perspective. In

1457
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:48,920
Speaker 4: the past sixteen years, my kids have lived that, felt it,

1458
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:53,200
Speaker 4: and suffered through it. I don't sugarcoat life because they

1459
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:57,479
Speaker 4: know the truth. My daughter's bride twenty two sister twenty

1460
01:08:57,479 --> 01:09:00,160
Speaker 4: four have never been forced to have contact with the

1461
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:02,840
Speaker 4: family member they didn't want to have contact with my

1462
01:09:02,920 --> 01:09:05,800
Speaker 4: youngest daughter that my dad made the comment to stood

1463
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:08,000
Speaker 4: up to him and let him have it before I

1464
01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:10,080
Speaker 4: could come flying from the kitchen and told him to

1465
01:09:10,080 --> 01:09:12,280
Speaker 4: get the f out of my house. What is so

1466
01:09:12,479 --> 01:09:14,960
Speaker 4: completely hilarious about the whole thing is she's the most

1467
01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:19,600
Speaker 4: modest person you ever met, never wears revealing clothes or

1468
01:09:19,640 --> 01:09:21,960
Speaker 4: short shorts and anything to give him a reason to

1469
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:25,040
Speaker 4: make the comment. As wrong as it was. Her bathing

1470
01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:28,479
Speaker 4: suits have long sleeves because she has fair skin. After

1471
01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:30,960
Speaker 4: he left and I quit plotting bad things on him,

1472
01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:35,000
Speaker 4: we just laughed. We laughed because he is so selfish

1473
01:09:35,080 --> 01:09:37,519
Speaker 4: and many many other things that it was funny that,

1474
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:40,040
Speaker 4: of all people he said that to her. Well, yeah,

1475
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:42,880
Speaker 4: it's not about It's not about whether or not someone's

1476
01:09:42,920 --> 01:09:47,720
Speaker 4: actually dressed modestly, modestly, it's about making you know, it's

1477
01:09:47,720 --> 01:09:50,519
Speaker 4: about asserting power and dominance and making people feel bad.

1478
01:09:50,760 --> 01:09:54,680
Speaker 4: That's why they do that, right, yeah, right, That was Thanksgiving.

1479
01:09:54,720 --> 01:09:57,360
Speaker 4: A couple of years ago, before Christmas, he stopped on

1480
01:09:57,400 --> 01:09:59,880
Speaker 4: my house to talk. I had not spoken to him.

1481
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:02,439
Speaker 4: It's kicking him out of the house. At Thanksgiving he

1482
01:10:02,560 --> 01:10:04,880
Speaker 4: stopped by to see what my adult children that were

1483
01:10:04,920 --> 01:10:08,400
Speaker 4: in college wanted for Christmas, and my response was all

1484
01:10:08,439 --> 01:10:10,640
Speaker 4: any of us want from you for Christmas is to

1485
01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:14,200
Speaker 4: show up and shut your f and mouth, or don't

1486
01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:17,640
Speaker 4: come period. Boo. Yes, it's like you can come if

1487
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:21,960
Speaker 4: you don't talk. Yeah, you're silent, You're welcome. Everyone in

1488
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:24,000
Speaker 4: our family has enough money to buy what they want,

1489
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:27,360
Speaker 4: and it's truly about family time and not gifts for Christmas.

1490
01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:30,599
Speaker 4: Since then, he has done good at not making any

1491
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:33,080
Speaker 4: out of the way comments that I have heard. I

1492
01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:35,840
Speaker 4: do all the cooking for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, and

1493
01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:38,240
Speaker 4: we get together at my house, so I will stay

1494
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:40,200
Speaker 4: in the kitchen and talk to my other guests and

1495
01:10:40,280 --> 01:10:44,360
Speaker 4: family and mostly ignore my dad and completely ignore Sally.

1496
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:47,960
Speaker 4: Just to keep my sanity, I do always give him

1497
01:10:47,960 --> 01:10:49,720
Speaker 4: a hug and tell him I love him, and just

1498
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:53,519
Speaker 4: a buye to Sally. Both of my daughters have the

1499
01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:57,080
Speaker 4: right to include or exclude anyone they want from their weddings,

1500
01:10:57,160 --> 01:10:59,360
Speaker 4: and I did not force anything on her as far

1501
01:10:59,439 --> 01:11:02,320
Speaker 4: as my dad being there. The bride is a strong

1502
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:05,320
Speaker 4: adult woman, and her now husband is supportive of her

1503
01:11:05,439 --> 01:11:08,120
Speaker 4: and her choices. She chose to have my dad in

1504
01:11:08,120 --> 01:11:10,360
Speaker 4: her wedding photos because she knows that those will be

1505
01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:13,479
Speaker 4: your memories when he's gone, and she chooses to remember

1506
01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:17,400
Speaker 4: him from the good memories. I am so very, very

1507
01:11:17,479 --> 01:11:21,600
Speaker 4: aware that my only true loving parent was taken from me. Ough, Oh,

1508
01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:25,160
Speaker 4: that is really hard. I am aware that my kids

1509
01:11:25,160 --> 01:11:28,200
Speaker 4: and my nieces and nephews lost the best grandparent they had.

1510
01:11:28,720 --> 01:11:30,800
Speaker 4: I have often wondered and prayed for an answer of

1511
01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:32,880
Speaker 4: why it was her or not him, which I feel

1512
01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:35,719
Speaker 4: bad about. I know for a fact that my kids

1513
01:11:35,760 --> 01:11:38,960
Speaker 4: feel the same way. Why was it her and not him?

1514
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:42,559
Speaker 4: I raise my kids to love, give trust when earned,

1515
01:11:42,720 --> 01:11:45,639
Speaker 4: be strong, and stand up for yourself, and they do.

1516
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:48,240
Speaker 4: To address why I didn't do anything about my father

1517
01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:50,960
Speaker 4: when he grabbed my daughter. I was in another area

1518
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:53,599
Speaker 4: of the rehearsal dinner fixing what Sally had messed up,

1519
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:57,639
Speaker 4: and had no idea what was happening outside. No one

1520
01:11:57,720 --> 01:11:59,840
Speaker 4: came and got me or told me what happened to

1521
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:03,160
Speaker 4: It was over and he was gone. I do remember

1522
01:12:03,200 --> 01:12:05,720
Speaker 4: my two daughters and husband walking the doors together and

1523
01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:08,559
Speaker 4: they were laughing and smiling, and I thought they must

1524
01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:10,880
Speaker 4: have not seen or heard my conversation with my dad

1525
01:12:10,880 --> 01:12:14,240
Speaker 4: and Sally. Nope, they did, and they were laughing and

1526
01:12:14,320 --> 01:12:17,120
Speaker 4: smiling because they weren't letting that a hole ruin her

1527
01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:19,840
Speaker 4: special day. This is really great, it seems like they're

1528
01:12:19,880 --> 01:12:23,439
Speaker 4: all like, not you know, not letting their boundaries be crossed.

1529
01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:23,760
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1530
01:12:23,800 --> 01:12:25,760
Speaker 4: I think they're going about it Anya, which is like,

1531
01:12:25,840 --> 01:12:28,519
Speaker 4: I mean, they've lost someone really important in their life

1532
01:12:28,560 --> 01:12:32,160
Speaker 4: and are left with this gun kind of really you

1533
01:12:32,200 --> 01:12:37,080
Speaker 4: know not great parents slash grandparents, right. But yeah, as

1534
01:12:37,080 --> 01:12:39,240
Speaker 4: long as you put those those boundaries up and you

1535
01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:42,280
Speaker 4: don't let someone cross them, that's the important thing. I

1536
01:12:42,320 --> 01:12:44,360
Speaker 4: found out everything that had happened when I got home

1537
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:47,000
Speaker 4: that night. We had twelve family members staying with us,

1538
01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:48,880
Speaker 4: and one of them happened to be the one that

1539
01:12:49,000 --> 01:12:52,680
Speaker 4: stepped in during the altercation. That's when everyone decided it

1540
01:12:52,720 --> 01:12:55,280
Speaker 4: was safe to tell me what had happened. Yes, I

1541
01:12:55,320 --> 01:12:58,640
Speaker 4: said safe, and I mean safe for my dad. The

1542
01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:01,200
Speaker 4: bride decided it was okay for him to come if

1543
01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:03,800
Speaker 4: he shows up, and out of respect for her and

1544
01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:07,479
Speaker 4: her hobby, I didn't say anything or cause a scene.

1545
01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:10,519
Speaker 4: Her wedding day was not the time or the place

1546
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:13,679
Speaker 4: for me to unleash forty seven years of fuse on him.

1547
01:13:14,160 --> 01:13:16,360
Speaker 4: My oldest daughter will be getting married in the next

1548
01:13:16,439 --> 01:13:18,919
Speaker 4: year or so, and she's already said he isn't invited,

1549
01:13:19,040 --> 01:13:22,360
Speaker 4: and that's fine. By the way, you're always invited to

1550
01:13:22,439 --> 01:13:25,200
Speaker 4: join us live every weekday at three PMPST just top

1551
01:13:25,200 --> 01:13:26,920
Speaker 4: her profile and there is a little bit left to

1552
01:13:26,960 --> 01:13:29,479
Speaker 4: the story. But do you have any thoughts before we

1553
01:13:29,560 --> 01:13:32,719
Speaker 4: finish it off? I think like before I was thinking,

1554
01:13:32,720 --> 01:13:34,559
Speaker 4: like it's just told people before you yeah, you know,

1555
01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:37,080
Speaker 4: But now it's like, okay, with all that background and

1556
01:13:37,120 --> 01:13:40,720
Speaker 4: all that h yeah, it's like okay, Yeah. I think

1557
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:43,439
Speaker 4: that's a little more understandable to just not want him there.

1558
01:13:43,720 --> 01:13:46,040
Speaker 4: I don't want totally shut up. Yeah, I think that's

1559
01:13:46,120 --> 01:13:49,760
Speaker 4: totally totally fine. Yeah, I think. And also it's not

1560
01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:52,280
Speaker 4: even like they're fully cutting him off. It's like you

1561
01:13:52,320 --> 01:13:55,800
Speaker 4: have the option if you because if you act like

1562
01:13:55,840 --> 01:14:00,560
Speaker 4: an adult and act kindly, then you can come. Yeah,

1563
01:14:00,560 --> 01:14:03,640
Speaker 4: but otherwise don't just leave. If you can't, if you

1564
01:14:03,680 --> 01:14:07,320
Speaker 4: can't keep your mouth shut, don't cuh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

1565
01:14:07,439 --> 01:14:10,600
Speaker 4: I think everything's very fair here. I think so. I

1566
01:14:10,640 --> 01:14:14,320
Speaker 4: think so. Also, guys, it's only been eighteen days, which

1567
01:14:14,320 --> 01:14:16,719
Speaker 4: maybe I should have since suit her since this happened,

1568
01:14:16,760 --> 01:14:19,400
Speaker 4: and I haven't calmed down enough to address anything with him.

1569
01:14:20,000 --> 01:14:22,400
Speaker 4: The bride and groom are still on their honeymoon and

1570
01:14:22,520 --> 01:14:25,719
Speaker 4: haven't addressed it with him either. My husband isn't calmed

1571
01:14:25,760 --> 01:14:27,760
Speaker 4: down enough yet to speak to my father, and we

1572
01:14:27,840 --> 01:14:30,880
Speaker 4: also have out of town guest staying with us. I

1573
01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:33,439
Speaker 4: vented to my brother, who also agrees we lost the

1574
01:14:33,479 --> 01:14:36,880
Speaker 4: best parent and best grandparent our kids had. He was

1575
01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:39,720
Speaker 4: only saying that dad will never change, and even though

1576
01:14:39,760 --> 01:14:42,839
Speaker 4: his wife is embarrassing, men are supposed to defend their wives.

1577
01:14:43,400 --> 01:14:46,160
Speaker 4: He agrees what my dad did by grabbing my daughter

1578
01:14:46,240 --> 01:14:49,160
Speaker 4: was wrong, but also pointed out that my dad hates

1579
01:14:49,200 --> 01:14:51,920
Speaker 4: to be wrong or stood up to, and she stood

1580
01:14:51,960 --> 01:14:54,720
Speaker 4: up to him being an a hole. I hope this

1581
01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:57,720
Speaker 4: answers some of the questions that people commented, and that

1582
01:14:57,920 --> 01:15:01,439
Speaker 4: is the end of that story. Well, sometimes you gotta

1583
01:15:01,600 --> 01:15:04,639
Speaker 4: stand up to your dad when he's being awful. Yeah,

1584
01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:08,200
Speaker 4: gotta do is take all this story? Yep, So we'll

1585
01:15:08,200 --> 01:15:09,559
Speaker 4: see you next time.

1586
01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:14,760
Speaker 8: My narcissistic mother tried to hijack my wedding, so I

1587
01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:15,760
Speaker 8: uninvited her.

1588
01:15:15,880 --> 01:15:19,679
Speaker 4: It's not her wedding, My goes, come on bat here,

1589
01:15:20,040 --> 01:15:23,120
Speaker 4: I thirty five female, have never had a close relationship

1590
01:15:23,120 --> 01:15:23,639
Speaker 4: with my mother.

1591
01:15:24,040 --> 01:15:26,280
Speaker 8: For as long as I can remember, there has always

1592
01:15:26,280 --> 01:15:29,599
Speaker 8: been an invisible wall between us. I've spent years thinking

1593
01:15:29,640 --> 01:15:32,280
Speaker 8: it was just my imagination. But now that I have

1594
01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:34,920
Speaker 8: kids of my own, I can say with confidence that

1595
01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:38,559
Speaker 8: the invisible wall was and still is real. By the way,

1596
01:15:38,640 --> 01:15:41,400
Speaker 8: this comes from Astraia zero eight eight nine on the

1597
01:15:41,680 --> 01:15:43,480
Speaker 8: r slash Okay storytime Supreddit.

1598
01:15:44,200 --> 01:15:47,280
Speaker 4: So I've done a lot of research and believe that my.

1599
01:15:47,320 --> 01:15:51,519
Speaker 8: Mother has something called narcissistic personality disorder. The book You're

1600
01:15:51,520 --> 01:15:54,759
Speaker 8: Not Crazy, It's Your Mother could have easily been written

1601
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:55,240
Speaker 8: about her.

1602
01:15:55,439 --> 01:15:57,800
Speaker 4: There's a lot in that book that is practically word

1603
01:15:57,880 --> 01:16:00,480
Speaker 4: for word things I have gone through with my mom.

1604
01:16:00,640 --> 01:16:02,040
Speaker 4: While we have never been.

1605
01:16:01,920 --> 01:16:05,559
Speaker 8: Close, the crazy crap didn't start happening until my parents divorced.

1606
01:16:06,040 --> 01:16:08,120
Speaker 8: My mom got it in her head that I prefer

1607
01:16:08,439 --> 01:16:12,280
Speaker 8: my bio dad over her, and things were never the same.

1608
01:16:12,400 --> 01:16:15,720
Speaker 4: You know, he's like, now I do. Yeah, he just

1609
01:16:15,840 --> 01:16:20,360
Speaker 4: made prophecy exactly, especially after she remarried.

1610
01:16:20,720 --> 01:16:24,080
Speaker 8: Suddenly, the only thing that mattered was her own reputation

1611
01:16:24,320 --> 01:16:25,080
Speaker 8: as a family.

1612
01:16:25,840 --> 01:16:27,400
Speaker 4: We had to be the perfect.

1613
01:16:27,840 --> 01:16:31,240
Speaker 8: We had to be perfect, and that meant only associating

1614
01:16:31,240 --> 01:16:34,840
Speaker 8: with people she deemed worthy. None of my friends made

1615
01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:37,240
Speaker 8: the cut, so I had to keep our friendship a

1616
01:16:37,280 --> 01:16:39,400
Speaker 8: secret and stop inviting people over.

1617
01:16:39,240 --> 01:16:41,360
Speaker 4: For my birthday. Oh my gosh, damn.

1618
01:16:42,320 --> 01:16:46,000
Speaker 8: Things got their absolute worst when my older brother saw

1619
01:16:46,040 --> 01:16:48,280
Speaker 8: me talking to a boy who had a pretty strong

1620
01:16:48,320 --> 01:16:50,920
Speaker 8: reputation of being one of the weirdest kids to go

1621
01:16:50,960 --> 01:16:51,559
Speaker 8: to our school.

1622
01:16:51,600 --> 01:16:54,120
Speaker 4: But he was just the freaking coolest kid. But's so,

1623
01:16:54,360 --> 01:16:59,040
Speaker 4: you're just freaking jealous. Let's call this boy Matt. Matt

1624
01:16:59,160 --> 01:17:01,280
Speaker 4: was from the West Coast and stood out like a

1625
01:17:01,360 --> 01:17:05,719
Speaker 4: sore thumb in our tiny midwestern town. Him at least

1626
01:17:05,760 --> 01:17:09,000
Speaker 4: like a regular California kid, and then met Midwestern people

1627
01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:14,000
Speaker 4: are like, It's like, who's this, this Californian kid, what's

1628
01:17:14,040 --> 01:17:17,960
Speaker 4: he doing here? He had long, fluffy, blonde hair and

1629
01:17:18,040 --> 01:17:18,760
Speaker 4: was super pale.

1630
01:17:19,360 --> 01:17:22,040
Speaker 8: Everyone thought he was goth or something because he likes

1631
01:17:22,120 --> 01:17:24,759
Speaker 8: to wear all black clothes and boots and wore a

1632
01:17:24,800 --> 01:17:25,719
Speaker 8: black trench coat.

1633
01:17:25,800 --> 01:17:28,040
Speaker 4: Turns out the code was his dad's navy trench coat,

1634
01:17:28,080 --> 01:17:31,360
Speaker 4: so it has high sentimental value. Okay, he's just misunderstood.

1635
01:17:31,920 --> 01:17:34,519
Speaker 4: You just don't get him, Just don't get him. Come on, guys.

1636
01:17:34,880 --> 01:17:36,800
Speaker 8: My brother didn't like that I was talking to Matt,

1637
01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:39,960
Speaker 8: so he told my parents and they filipped out.

1638
01:17:40,400 --> 01:17:42,000
Speaker 4: So strange, so strange.

1639
01:17:42,080 --> 01:17:45,280
Speaker 8: They immediately started accusing me of having a crush on

1640
01:17:45,360 --> 01:17:47,960
Speaker 8: Matt and told me I was not allowed to talk

1641
01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:48,919
Speaker 8: to him anymore.

1642
01:17:49,439 --> 01:17:52,360
Speaker 4: I was fourteen and in middle school. What a weird

1643
01:17:52,439 --> 01:17:55,400
Speaker 4: thing to like, what a weird interaction apt with your parents, Like,

1644
01:17:55,479 --> 01:17:59,040
Speaker 4: you have a crush on him? Yeah, get out? She

1645
01:17:59,120 --> 01:18:04,080
Speaker 4: just starts playing, like romy listen to some tailor stiff

1646
01:18:04,080 --> 01:18:08,120
Speaker 4: and you're good, nice, You're fine. This is this is starcross. Yeah,

1647
01:18:08,160 --> 01:18:11,320
Speaker 4: it's so much more interesting now, right Me, being a

1648
01:18:11,400 --> 01:18:14,040
Speaker 4: very honest kid, I told Matt my parents said I

1649
01:18:14,040 --> 01:18:15,320
Speaker 4: couldn't be his friend anymore.

1650
01:18:15,360 --> 01:18:18,439
Speaker 8: And that's when he said something I'll never forget. He said,

1651
01:18:18,840 --> 01:18:21,519
Speaker 8: that's okay, You're still my friend, and they can't take

1652
01:18:21,560 --> 01:18:22,000
Speaker 8: that away.

1653
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:30,000
Speaker 4: Oh that's so sweet, so sweet. Wow. I think that's

1654
01:18:30,040 --> 01:18:35,200
Speaker 4: when I developed the crush wow around Oh my goodness.

1655
01:18:35,680 --> 01:18:38,439
Speaker 8: For the next three years, my family made my life heck,

1656
01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:41,920
Speaker 8: just for talking to Matt, Mom would accuse me of

1657
01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:42,920
Speaker 8: being in love with him.

1658
01:18:43,360 --> 01:18:45,799
Speaker 4: Was angry and disgusted when he gave.

1659
01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:48,320
Speaker 8: Me a charm long and for my birthday so cute,

1660
01:18:48,400 --> 01:18:51,479
Speaker 8: so cute, and called me names and ranted on the

1661
01:18:51,520 --> 01:18:54,799
Speaker 8: way to school about how stupid I was for falling

1662
01:18:54,840 --> 01:18:58,400
Speaker 8: for his tricks. Meanwhile, Matt and I realized we liked

1663
01:18:58,439 --> 01:19:01,000
Speaker 8: each other romantically, but put up dating until I could

1664
01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,680
Speaker 8: figure out how to sort things with my family. By

1665
01:19:03,720 --> 01:19:05,920
Speaker 8: the end of our sophomore year in high school, I'd

1666
01:19:05,960 --> 01:19:08,720
Speaker 8: finally made up my mind. If it had to be

1667
01:19:08,800 --> 01:19:10,920
Speaker 8: my family or Matt, I'd choose Matt.

1668
01:19:11,080 --> 01:19:14,639
Speaker 4: Oh. They literally pushed him, pushed her into his arms. Yeah,

1669
01:19:14,760 --> 01:19:17,320
Speaker 4: like that's on you. You guys. You were like, you love him,

1670
01:19:17,360 --> 01:19:21,639
Speaker 4: and she was like, no, WHOA, I guess I think

1671
01:19:21,680 --> 01:19:23,840
Speaker 4: you have loved me right right.

1672
01:19:24,479 --> 01:19:26,719
Speaker 8: Things did not get better between me and my family.

1673
01:19:26,920 --> 01:19:28,840
Speaker 8: By the end of the second year of college. My

1674
01:19:28,960 --> 01:19:32,760
Speaker 8: mom had become physically abusive towards me, So Matt got

1675
01:19:32,800 --> 01:19:34,760
Speaker 8: an apartment and invited me to move in with him.

1676
01:19:34,840 --> 01:19:37,280
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, that is like the hero of this

1677
01:19:37,400 --> 01:19:38,719
Speaker 4: sh He's so sweet.

1678
01:19:39,479 --> 01:19:43,559
Speaker 8: My stepdad accused us of playing house and believed that

1679
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:47,000
Speaker 8: Matt would never propose. He was so effing cool when

1680
01:19:47,240 --> 01:19:50,599
Speaker 8: he looked my stepdad dead in the eyes and said, actually,

1681
01:19:50,720 --> 01:19:53,479
Speaker 8: I've already been saving up, birbring I'm almost there.

1682
01:19:54,200 --> 01:20:00,160
Speaker 4: Oh, get in get it, mad, Who is this man? Amazing?

1683
01:20:00,960 --> 01:20:05,120
Speaker 8: Ten months later, Matt proposed, literally is the Taylor Swift song.

1684
01:20:05,320 --> 01:20:08,840
Speaker 4: It really isn't. Oh my gosh, yeah, Oh my gosh. Wow.

1685
01:20:09,240 --> 01:20:13,559
Speaker 4: Just play this over at your wedding. Yeah, at the wedding, dude,

1686
01:20:14,240 --> 01:20:14,800
Speaker 4: So good.

1687
01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:18,800
Speaker 8: Now here's the content you've been waiting for. I really

1688
01:20:18,840 --> 01:20:21,040
Speaker 8: wanted my mom to be excited and happy for me.

1689
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:23,880
Speaker 8: After all, At this point in time, I still believed

1690
01:20:23,920 --> 01:20:25,559
Speaker 8: my parents were just trying to look out for me,

1691
01:20:25,720 --> 01:20:28,120
Speaker 8: and we're just worried I would make reckless decisions out

1692
01:20:28,160 --> 01:20:32,519
Speaker 8: of love. My stepdad had been diagnosed with prostate cancer

1693
01:20:32,560 --> 01:20:35,639
Speaker 8: the year before, and the high medical bills was our concern.

1694
01:20:35,840 --> 01:20:37,840
Speaker 8: So I reassured my mom that Matt and I would

1695
01:20:37,880 --> 01:20:40,760
Speaker 8: cover the wedding expenses ourselves, and that all she needed

1696
01:20:40,800 --> 01:20:44,360
Speaker 8: to do was show up. Remember this, it's important later.

1697
01:20:44,680 --> 01:20:46,960
Speaker 8: Matt and I just wanted our families to be able

1698
01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:49,559
Speaker 8: to celebrate our big day stress free. Is it so

1699
01:20:49,600 --> 01:20:50,360
Speaker 8: hard to ask for?

1700
01:20:51,040 --> 01:20:54,679
Speaker 4: I just not that hard, please. I thought my mom

1701
01:20:54,720 --> 01:20:56,840
Speaker 4: and I could bond over the wedding planning, but she

1702
01:20:57,040 --> 01:20:58,599
Speaker 4: was very cold and distant.

1703
01:20:59,160 --> 01:21:01,800
Speaker 8: She would hardly respond to any text I sent her,

1704
01:21:01,920 --> 01:21:05,400
Speaker 8: and her only response to anything I said was a

1705
01:21:05,520 --> 01:21:10,120
Speaker 8: very flat okay. Looking back, I should have immediately realized

1706
01:21:10,160 --> 01:21:12,559
Speaker 8: something was wrong when she harshly criticized our.

1707
01:21:12,479 --> 01:21:15,280
Speaker 4: Choice on our wedding date. It was two weeks before

1708
01:21:15,320 --> 01:21:16,400
Speaker 4: her wedding anniversary.

1709
01:21:16,479 --> 01:21:19,559
Speaker 8: Once the date was set, Mom began asking me what

1710
01:21:19,720 --> 01:21:22,080
Speaker 8: my plan was for losing weight before the wedding.

1711
01:21:22,160 --> 01:21:26,720
Speaker 4: Hello, my plan is mind your own business. Yeah, out

1712
01:21:26,720 --> 01:21:27,840
Speaker 4: of here, Get out of here.

1713
01:21:27,920 --> 01:21:31,519
Speaker 8: She wanted me to lose thirty pounds. That is so much.

1714
01:21:32,360 --> 01:21:36,719
Speaker 8: That's so much. She wants you to lose a dog. Yeah,

1715
01:21:36,800 --> 01:21:39,240
Speaker 8: that's what in weeks on.

1716
01:21:39,680 --> 01:21:43,600
Speaker 4: That's insane. It's like not, that's not that's crazy. And

1717
01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:45,599
Speaker 4: it's not even your wedding. It's not even your wedding.

1718
01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:50,000
Speaker 4: Shut up, your body looks beautiful exactly. She would order

1719
01:21:50,120 --> 01:21:53,040
Speaker 4: bulk packs of slim Fast and send them to my

1720
01:21:53,160 --> 01:21:55,800
Speaker 4: house or give them to me whenever I visited. She

1721
01:21:56,000 --> 01:22:00,439
Speaker 4: expected me to stop eating lunch completely or release or

1722
01:22:00,560 --> 01:22:04,679
Speaker 4: replaced lunch with a single can of slim Fast. Why

1723
01:22:05,120 --> 01:22:09,680
Speaker 4: why I hate this? I hate this so much? Like

1724
01:22:09,760 --> 01:22:12,519
Speaker 4: literally just wants her to starve. Yeah, so that she

1725
01:22:12,520 --> 01:22:14,439
Speaker 4: can look a certain way and it loves thirty pounds,

1726
01:22:14,479 --> 01:22:18,000
Speaker 4: which like it doesn't like really work that way. It's

1727
01:22:18,160 --> 01:22:19,519
Speaker 4: just very unhealthy.

1728
01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:22,360
Speaker 8: Yeah, she demanded to know how much weight I'd lost

1729
01:22:22,439 --> 01:22:24,760
Speaker 8: per week, and would brag about how much weight she

1730
01:22:24,920 --> 01:22:25,439
Speaker 8: was losing.

1731
01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:26,960
Speaker 4: This is so sad. I'm so sad.

1732
01:22:27,040 --> 01:22:29,840
Speaker 8: I'd find out years later that I have an autoimmune

1733
01:22:29,840 --> 01:22:35,080
Speaker 8: disease called hashimotos hashimotos which makes weight loss nearly.

1734
01:22:34,840 --> 01:22:38,240
Speaker 4: Impossible without medication. So at the time of my wedding.

1735
01:22:38,040 --> 01:22:40,880
Speaker 8: Losing weight was literally impossible for me, and my mom

1736
01:22:41,000 --> 01:22:44,479
Speaker 8: shamed me for being fat. Six months before the wedding,

1737
01:22:44,520 --> 01:22:47,839
Speaker 8: I got a call from Mom that made my heart drop.

1738
01:22:48,280 --> 01:22:51,800
Speaker 8: After months of cold responses or just dead silence, Mom

1739
01:22:51,880 --> 01:22:54,479
Speaker 8: suddenly called to text me that she had set up

1740
01:22:54,760 --> 01:22:59,519
Speaker 8: the entire wedding venue, staff and all without me, and

1741
01:22:59,560 --> 01:23:01,800
Speaker 8: then all all I needed to do was show up.

1742
01:23:02,400 --> 01:23:08,080
Speaker 4: Ooh that's crazy. What that's crazy. She's like, it's happening

1743
01:23:08,120 --> 01:23:10,760
Speaker 4: at three to day, be there right, Like out of

1744
01:23:10,760 --> 01:23:13,519
Speaker 4: your dress. Uh, it's three sizes too small for you,

1745
01:23:13,840 --> 01:23:16,920
Speaker 4: really really small. Yeah, it's actually one of those little

1746
01:23:16,960 --> 01:23:19,640
Speaker 4: Polly pocket dresses. Right, and you should have lost the

1747
01:23:19,640 --> 01:23:25,640
Speaker 4: way to Sorry, Oh my gosh, don't show up obviously,

1748
01:23:25,920 --> 01:23:28,240
Speaker 4: if that wasn't obvious, don't go to this wedding. Yeah,

1749
01:23:28,280 --> 01:23:30,599
Speaker 4: and the fact that word for words she repeated, all

1750
01:23:30,640 --> 01:23:33,840
Speaker 4: you need to do is show up. Nope, don't do that, dude.

1751
01:23:34,680 --> 01:23:36,760
Speaker 8: The reason she called was not to tell me this,

1752
01:23:36,880 --> 01:23:38,800
Speaker 8: but to ask if I'd picked out my wedding dress

1753
01:23:38,800 --> 01:23:40,840
Speaker 8: already and let me know where I would be storing

1754
01:23:40,880 --> 01:23:44,000
Speaker 8: it on the big day. Shocked doesn't even cover it.

1755
01:23:44,280 --> 01:23:48,559
Speaker 8: My brain completely shut down on me. When I told Matt,

1756
01:23:48,600 --> 01:23:51,439
Speaker 8: he was livid and reminded me that this was our

1757
01:23:51,560 --> 01:23:54,160
Speaker 8: day and not hers, and he didn't want anything she

1758
01:23:54,200 --> 01:23:54,840
Speaker 8: had set up.

1759
01:23:55,240 --> 01:23:57,400
Speaker 4: He ultimately left it up to me to decide.

1760
01:23:57,640 --> 01:23:59,760
Speaker 8: He knew how desperately I wanted to keep the peace,

1761
01:24:00,120 --> 01:24:02,519
Speaker 8: but Matt was very honest about how he felt, and

1762
01:24:02,560 --> 01:24:05,120
Speaker 8: he let me know that he would be very hurt

1763
01:24:05,120 --> 01:24:07,920
Speaker 8: if we caved to my mom on this. I called

1764
01:24:07,920 --> 01:24:10,400
Speaker 8: my mom back and let her know that she needed

1765
01:24:10,400 --> 01:24:13,200
Speaker 8: to tell everyone she had booked that there was a

1766
01:24:13,240 --> 01:24:16,800
Speaker 8: misunderstanding and that we would not be needing their services.

1767
01:24:17,200 --> 01:24:20,280
Speaker 8: When she asked me why, I told her that Matt

1768
01:24:20,320 --> 01:24:22,640
Speaker 8: and I had already said we'd be taking care of

1769
01:24:22,680 --> 01:24:25,800
Speaker 8: the wedding ourselves and that the only thing she needed

1770
01:24:25,800 --> 01:24:30,280
Speaker 8: to do was show up. She said fine and hung up.

1771
01:24:30,960 --> 01:24:32,960
Speaker 8: I felt bad for making my mom cancel the wedding

1772
01:24:33,040 --> 01:24:35,880
Speaker 8: she'd set up. I know I still want wanted to

1773
01:24:35,920 --> 01:24:38,640
Speaker 8: believe that my mom just wanted to be helpful. I

1774
01:24:38,680 --> 01:24:41,599
Speaker 8: can't believe it took me twelve years to realize she

1775
01:24:41,680 --> 01:24:44,000
Speaker 8: was throwing it back in my face that I told

1776
01:24:44,040 --> 01:24:46,160
Speaker 8: her she just needed to show up. I thought we

1777
01:24:46,200 --> 01:24:48,639
Speaker 8: could patch things up by going dress shopping together.

1778
01:24:48,800 --> 01:24:53,720
Speaker 4: No big mistake, No, we don't. Okay. If you have

1779
01:24:53,720 --> 01:24:56,519
Speaker 4: someone in your life who actively makes you feel bad

1780
01:24:57,000 --> 01:25:01,280
Speaker 4: about your body, yes, and like constantly to me, don't

1781
01:25:01,400 --> 01:25:06,960
Speaker 4: take them to one of the most important like like clothing, dress,

1782
01:25:07,000 --> 01:25:10,800
Speaker 4: like shopping shopping spree in a lot of people, in

1783
01:25:10,840 --> 01:25:14,559
Speaker 4: all of women's lives. Don't do that. Yeah, do like,

1784
01:25:14,760 --> 01:25:16,720
Speaker 4: don't for your own sake, don't do that. Right, If

1785
01:25:16,720 --> 01:25:18,320
Speaker 4: they make you feel bad, don't bring them right.

1786
01:25:19,040 --> 01:25:21,360
Speaker 8: When we went dress shopping, my mom made sure to

1787
01:25:21,400 --> 01:25:23,879
Speaker 8: point out something wrong about me in every dress.

1788
01:25:23,680 --> 01:25:25,240
Speaker 4: I tried that she didn't like.

1789
01:25:25,840 --> 01:25:28,840
Speaker 8: I wanted something elegant and princess like, but my mom

1790
01:25:28,840 --> 01:25:32,080
Speaker 8: would say things like, you need sleeves cover your chunky arm,

1791
01:25:32,200 --> 01:25:34,479
Speaker 8: you need tape to cover up your mouth, here you go,

1792
01:25:34,720 --> 01:25:38,280
Speaker 8: or the skirt on that makes you look pregnant. My

1793
01:25:38,439 --> 01:25:41,120
Speaker 8: friends tried to encourage me, but my self esteem was

1794
01:25:41,240 --> 01:25:42,200
Speaker 8: rock bottom.

1795
01:25:42,520 --> 01:25:45,360
Speaker 4: After all, my mom had been dressing me my whole life.

1796
01:25:45,920 --> 01:25:50,759
Speaker 4: She obviously knew what looked good on me and what didn't. Right, no, no, wrong.

1797
01:25:51,600 --> 01:25:54,240
Speaker 4: I ended up settling on the only dress she approved of,

1798
01:25:54,439 --> 01:25:57,200
Speaker 4: something I regret to this day because it looked awful

1799
01:25:57,240 --> 01:25:59,160
Speaker 4: on me, and it turns out she only chose it

1800
01:25:59,160 --> 01:26:02,280
Speaker 4: because a modeling Bridle magazine was wearing. That's the thing

1801
01:26:02,320 --> 01:26:04,479
Speaker 4: I feel like a lot of times people who are

1802
01:26:04,520 --> 01:26:06,840
Speaker 4: like plus size, when you have people who are like

1803
01:26:07,600 --> 01:26:09,880
Speaker 4: who like like this mom, who don't like hate that

1804
01:26:10,400 --> 01:26:13,519
Speaker 4: and are actively like fat phobic and stuff, they choose

1805
01:26:13,560 --> 01:26:16,720
Speaker 4: things that aren't flattering because they want to cover that

1806
01:26:16,840 --> 01:26:19,879
Speaker 4: up when you should be like, there are very flattering

1807
01:26:19,920 --> 01:26:22,960
Speaker 4: clothes or and plus size people that accentuate those curves

1808
01:26:23,000 --> 01:26:26,040
Speaker 4: exactly and their body type, and if you focus on

1809
01:26:26,080 --> 01:26:29,679
Speaker 4: covering it up, it's it doesn't focus on like making

1810
01:26:29,680 --> 01:26:32,519
Speaker 4: a look Yeah, it make me look good exactly, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

1811
01:26:32,840 --> 01:26:33,679
Speaker 4: it's crazy.

1812
01:26:34,080 --> 01:26:36,280
Speaker 8: Before we left the Bridle store, one of my friends

1813
01:26:36,280 --> 01:26:38,400
Speaker 8: pulled me aside and warned me not to eat or

1814
01:26:38,479 --> 01:26:40,920
Speaker 8: drink anything my mom served me, because while I was

1815
01:26:40,920 --> 01:26:43,559
Speaker 8: in the changing room. My mom asked her if she

1816
01:26:43,640 --> 01:26:47,040
Speaker 8: knew if any laxatives were a good way of losing.

1817
01:26:47,160 --> 01:26:51,479
Speaker 4: Oh my god, she'd like slip her laxidive. Yeah, it

1818
01:26:51,600 --> 01:26:54,120
Speaker 4: sounds like it, just like the Fay Court. She's like,

1819
01:26:54,520 --> 01:26:58,120
Speaker 4: you don't drink anything that she sucks. You'll be stuck

1820
01:26:58,120 --> 01:26:59,240
Speaker 4: in her clutches forever.

1821
01:27:00,960 --> 01:27:02,960
Speaker 8: I'd like to think I wasn't too strict on my

1822
01:27:02,960 --> 01:27:06,400
Speaker 8: bridesmaids as far as what they wore. We talked it

1823
01:27:06,479 --> 01:27:09,280
Speaker 8: over and I listened to their concerns about material, style,

1824
01:27:09,320 --> 01:27:11,720
Speaker 8: and price. My girls didn't want to be sexy or

1825
01:27:11,760 --> 01:27:13,840
Speaker 8: show off too much skin. They just wanted to be

1826
01:27:13,840 --> 01:27:15,840
Speaker 8: comfortable while standing next to me on my big day.

1827
01:27:16,160 --> 01:27:18,280
Speaker 8: They stressed that they were fine with whatever I wanted

1828
01:27:18,280 --> 01:27:20,120
Speaker 8: them to wear, as long as it was what I

1829
01:27:20,200 --> 01:27:21,640
Speaker 8: wanted and it was comfortable.

1830
01:27:22,120 --> 01:27:24,840
Speaker 4: We picked out the dresses together and everyone looked great.

1831
01:27:25,640 --> 01:27:28,240
Speaker 8: My mom was there to see what dresses the girls picked,

1832
01:27:28,280 --> 01:27:31,840
Speaker 8: and I could see the wheels turning. One day, my

1833
01:27:31,920 --> 01:27:34,040
Speaker 8: mom calls me to let me know that she got

1834
01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:36,479
Speaker 8: her dress and that she is going to look even

1835
01:27:36,520 --> 01:27:39,920
Speaker 8: better than me. You're planning to upstage the bride at

1836
01:27:39,920 --> 01:27:43,519
Speaker 8: her own wedding that was like rule number one, don't

1837
01:27:43,520 --> 01:27:44,880
Speaker 8: you wear a freaking white dress?

1838
01:27:45,120 --> 01:27:48,400
Speaker 4: Yes? Like, why don't you go to that wedding that

1839
01:27:48,439 --> 01:27:51,080
Speaker 4: you already planned? Yeah, don't you go be the bride

1840
01:27:51,240 --> 01:27:54,639
Speaker 4: that one show up? No one else will you know's

1841
01:27:54,680 --> 01:27:57,559
Speaker 4: gonna be there, and it'll be all about you, exactly.

1842
01:27:57,600 --> 01:27:59,800
Speaker 4: I'll be sure to include a photo of her standing

1843
01:27:59,840 --> 01:28:02,880
Speaker 4: there to me, cropped to protect identity, and you can

1844
01:28:02,880 --> 01:28:06,040
Speaker 4: decide if the color was appropriate or not. Oh was

1845
01:28:06,080 --> 01:28:08,320
Speaker 4: it like red? Do you think? I think it's probably

1846
01:28:08,320 --> 01:28:11,320
Speaker 4: like cream or something. Oh? Yeah, yeah, we're like, yeah,

1847
01:28:11,439 --> 01:28:14,679
Speaker 4: something something that a bride would wear. By this point,

1848
01:28:14,720 --> 01:28:17,680
Speaker 4: I was seriously considering uninviting her and the rest of

1849
01:28:17,680 --> 01:28:20,400
Speaker 4: my family and just having a close friend's only ceremony

1850
01:28:20,439 --> 01:28:22,439
Speaker 4: to that. I had issues with my in laws as well,

1851
01:28:22,479 --> 01:28:25,040
Speaker 4: but that's a story for another time. But the straw

1852
01:28:25,080 --> 01:28:27,759
Speaker 4: that broke the camel's back was when my mom texted

1853
01:28:27,800 --> 01:28:30,120
Speaker 4: me that she had paid for the perfect dress for

1854
01:28:30,200 --> 01:28:34,040
Speaker 4: my little sister. Hmm. To be clear, my little sister

1855
01:28:34,080 --> 01:28:37,479
Speaker 4: and I are not clothes at all. We've been thrown

1856
01:28:37,520 --> 01:28:40,040
Speaker 4: together our whole lives, and my wedding was just another

1857
01:28:40,080 --> 01:28:42,400
Speaker 4: event my mom wanted us to be a sister set

1858
01:28:42,479 --> 01:28:45,120
Speaker 4: for the demand for weight loss was so that my

1859
01:28:45,240 --> 01:28:47,719
Speaker 4: sister and I could go back to looking like almost

1860
01:28:47,760 --> 01:28:52,439
Speaker 4: twins again. What hate that I'm three years older than her.

1861
01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:55,360
Speaker 4: I'd sent my mom a photo of three different dresses

1862
01:28:55,360 --> 01:28:57,040
Speaker 4: that I thought would look really good on my sister.

1863
01:28:57,439 --> 01:29:00,639
Speaker 4: The goal was comfortable yet classy. I told my mom

1864
01:29:00,680 --> 01:29:02,800
Speaker 4: that I at least wanted to see what she looked

1865
01:29:02,840 --> 01:29:05,439
Speaker 4: like in each dress, and if and if for some reason,

1866
01:29:05,760 --> 01:29:08,400
Speaker 4: those dresses didn't work out, I at least wanted to

1867
01:29:08,400 --> 01:29:10,720
Speaker 4: see the dress they chose before they paid for it,

1868
01:29:10,920 --> 01:29:13,120
Speaker 4: so I could make sure it blended well with my bridesmaids.

1869
01:29:13,760 --> 01:29:16,479
Speaker 4: After the whole I'm going to look better than you comment,

1870
01:29:16,840 --> 01:29:19,360
Speaker 4: I couldn't trust my mom to pick an appropriate dress

1871
01:29:19,360 --> 01:29:22,400
Speaker 4: for my sister, which is why I gave her three options.

1872
01:29:22,920 --> 01:29:25,760
Speaker 4: Sure Enough, my mom dodged my questions and tried to

1873
01:29:25,800 --> 01:29:29,280
Speaker 4: reassure me that because she's been dressing us for years,

1874
01:29:29,479 --> 01:29:30,160
Speaker 4: she knows.

1875
01:29:29,960 --> 01:29:33,160
Speaker 8: What looks best and to just trust her. When she

1876
01:29:33,240 --> 01:29:36,960
Speaker 8: finally sent the picture of my little sister, my heart broke.

1877
01:29:37,560 --> 01:29:39,120
Speaker 4: The dress itself was gorgeous.

1878
01:29:39,320 --> 01:29:42,000
Speaker 8: It looked like my sister was wrapped in one giant

1879
01:29:42,040 --> 01:29:44,759
Speaker 8: silk ribbon with a lovely bow tied at the shoulder.

1880
01:29:45,400 --> 01:29:46,599
Speaker 4: The problem was that.

1881
01:29:46,560 --> 01:29:49,559
Speaker 8: It completely ignored my sister's body type and it looked

1882
01:29:49,560 --> 01:29:53,080
Speaker 8: like it was awkwardly hanging off her. Surprise, surprise, ignoring

1883
01:29:53,120 --> 01:29:56,799
Speaker 8: the body TIPE would have guessed it from this lady.

1884
01:29:57,880 --> 01:30:00,559
Speaker 8: My sister does not have any curves at all, no bust,

1885
01:30:00,640 --> 01:30:03,280
Speaker 8: no hips, straight as a board, and the dress was

1886
01:30:03,280 --> 01:30:05,400
Speaker 8: designed to rely on curves to hold it in place.

1887
01:30:05,920 --> 01:30:08,840
Speaker 8: The one strap that draped across the shoulder was there

1888
01:30:08,880 --> 01:30:11,320
Speaker 8: to look pretty, not to actually hold the dress up.

1889
01:30:11,880 --> 01:30:14,360
Speaker 8: My mom said that they really struggled with this when

1890
01:30:14,360 --> 01:30:17,160
Speaker 8: my sister was trying to was trying the dress on,

1891
01:30:17,600 --> 01:30:20,320
Speaker 8: but that they were going to get her padded, get

1892
01:30:20,360 --> 01:30:22,599
Speaker 8: her a padded strapless bra to help.

1893
01:30:22,760 --> 01:30:25,320
Speaker 4: Oh my god, my goodness stop.

1894
01:30:25,680 --> 01:30:28,679
Speaker 8: It was clear that the focus behind this dress choice

1895
01:30:28,720 --> 01:30:30,759
Speaker 8: was not to find a dress that helps my sister

1896
01:30:30,920 --> 01:30:34,120
Speaker 8: natural beauty shine, but to choose a dress that outshined

1897
01:30:34,160 --> 01:30:38,720
Speaker 8: my bridesmaids and stuff and steph pad or switch whatever

1898
01:30:39,040 --> 01:30:42,759
Speaker 8: to force the dress to just fit. When I tried

1899
01:30:42,800 --> 01:30:45,200
Speaker 8: to ask basic questions about how they came across this

1900
01:30:45,280 --> 01:30:48,360
Speaker 8: dress and how they ultimately decided on this one, and

1901
01:30:48,439 --> 01:30:51,040
Speaker 8: why they didn't send me any pictures until I asked

1902
01:30:51,040 --> 01:30:54,160
Speaker 8: to see. My mom got frustrated and angry and blurted out,

1903
01:30:54,560 --> 01:30:57,040
Speaker 8: you know what, Molly, you're being a real bridezillt.

1904
01:30:57,080 --> 01:30:59,880
Speaker 4: You're stressing me out. You're the reason you're step dat

1905
01:31:00,120 --> 01:31:04,200
Speaker 4: had a heart attack. It's because your wedding is stressing

1906
01:31:04,280 --> 01:31:07,519
Speaker 4: everyone out. And that's why he collapsed at work and

1907
01:31:07,640 --> 01:31:09,280
Speaker 4: had to be hospitalized for a week.

1908
01:31:09,520 --> 01:31:12,559
Speaker 8: And his medical bills are so expensive. Yet we still

1909
01:31:12,600 --> 01:31:15,080
Speaker 8: bought outfits for your wedding, and all you can.

1910
01:31:14,960 --> 01:31:20,320
Speaker 4: Do is complain. Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness. I'm sorry.

1911
01:31:20,320 --> 01:31:23,599
Speaker 4: The only person who is stressing the step dad out.

1912
01:31:24,280 --> 01:31:27,400
Speaker 4: It's you, lady. It's you. It's you. It's the calls

1913
01:31:27,439 --> 01:31:30,519
Speaker 4: coming from within the house. Yes, And if the medical

1914
01:31:30,520 --> 01:31:33,400
Speaker 4: expenses were so high, why did you freaking plan in

1915
01:31:33,840 --> 01:31:34,519
Speaker 4: a whole wedding?

1916
01:31:34,600 --> 01:31:34,800
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1917
01:31:34,800 --> 01:31:37,800
Speaker 4: Why did you literally book venue.

1918
01:31:37,760 --> 01:31:41,759
Speaker 8: Caterers whoever you needed when you have a heart attack

1919
01:31:41,800 --> 01:31:42,160
Speaker 8: to pay for?

1920
01:31:42,640 --> 01:31:42,720
Speaker 7: Like?

1921
01:31:43,120 --> 01:31:45,760
Speaker 4: Make it make sense, Make it make sense. I felt

1922
01:31:45,840 --> 01:31:47,240
Speaker 4: like I had been punched.

1923
01:31:47,400 --> 01:31:49,719
Speaker 8: My stepdad had a heart attack a few months prior,

1924
01:31:49,760 --> 01:31:51,600
Speaker 8: and my mom didn't tell me until.

1925
01:31:51,320 --> 01:31:53,479
Speaker 4: He had been in the hospital for almost a full week.

1926
01:31:54,040 --> 01:31:55,360
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

1927
01:31:55,760 --> 01:31:57,639
Speaker 8: Even if I was out of line for asking about

1928
01:31:57,640 --> 01:32:00,160
Speaker 8: the dress, even if I was wrong to ask so

1929
01:32:00,160 --> 01:32:03,599
Speaker 8: many questions, blaming me for my stepdad's heart attack was

1930
01:32:03,800 --> 01:32:06,840
Speaker 8: just brushing. I hung up and cried for a bit,

1931
01:32:07,720 --> 01:32:10,200
Speaker 8: then talked it over with Matt. He stood by me

1932
01:32:10,240 --> 01:32:12,920
Speaker 8: when I called my mom back and said, you know what, Mom,

1933
01:32:13,200 --> 01:32:14,679
Speaker 8: don't bother coming to the wedding.

1934
01:32:15,080 --> 01:32:17,439
Speaker 4: Go ahead and return the dresses. You bought them.

1935
01:32:17,680 --> 01:32:20,160
Speaker 8: You just bought them, right, so you should be able

1936
01:32:20,160 --> 01:32:22,439
Speaker 8: to return them, get your money back, and put that

1937
01:32:22,520 --> 01:32:25,360
Speaker 8: money towards dad's bills. It's okay. I never meant to

1938
01:32:25,360 --> 01:32:29,000
Speaker 8: stress you all out with this. I'm sorry. You don't

1939
01:32:29,040 --> 01:32:33,200
Speaker 8: need to come. Just focus on Dad's yes. The perfect response.

1940
01:32:33,320 --> 01:32:34,799
Speaker 8: It's like, okay, fine, you don't.

1941
01:32:34,640 --> 01:32:36,760
Speaker 4: Need to come. I totally feel for you. H Dad

1942
01:32:36,800 --> 01:32:40,640
Speaker 4: is number one priority. Right, You're so right. It's more expensive.

1943
01:32:40,720 --> 01:32:42,320
Speaker 4: You need to put it towards the medical bills. Go

1944
01:32:42,360 --> 01:32:44,040
Speaker 4: ahead it, go ahead and do it. Yeah, It's like

1945
01:32:44,520 --> 01:32:47,439
Speaker 4: it's beautiful because it puts it on them. It's not like, oh,

1946
01:32:47,560 --> 01:32:49,000
Speaker 4: I don't want you to come to the wedding where

1947
01:32:49,040 --> 01:32:51,080
Speaker 4: they could flip it and be like, oh dad, she

1948
01:32:51,080 --> 01:32:52,840
Speaker 4: had invited me. It's like, oh no, it's like the

1949
01:32:52,840 --> 01:32:55,760
Speaker 4: perfect amount of PASSI regressive this. I love it. I

1950
01:32:55,800 --> 01:33:00,200
Speaker 4: love it. Mom backpedaled hard. She never said sorry. She

1951
01:33:00,320 --> 01:33:02,559
Speaker 4: just said it wasn't as bad as all that, and

1952
01:33:02,720 --> 01:33:05,000
Speaker 4: if I really wanted her too, she could get one

1953
01:33:05,000 --> 01:33:07,559
Speaker 4: of the dresses I'd originally picked out. Aha.

1954
01:33:09,120 --> 01:33:12,760
Speaker 8: Oh my gosh. I didn't care anymore. I said my

1955
01:33:12,840 --> 01:33:14,800
Speaker 8: sister could wear that dress, that it wasn't a big deal.

1956
01:33:15,360 --> 01:33:17,839
Speaker 8: I just wanted to be included, like in the process

1957
01:33:17,880 --> 01:33:19,479
Speaker 8: of shopping for it. Okay, that makes sense.

1958
01:33:20,120 --> 01:33:22,000
Speaker 4: To this day, my wedding day is one of the

1959
01:33:22,000 --> 01:33:25,800
Speaker 4: biggest regrets of my life. That's so sad that it shouldn't. Yeah,

1960
01:33:25,800 --> 01:33:27,320
Speaker 4: I do like a little doe like, not that it

1961
01:33:27,320 --> 01:33:28,960
Speaker 4: doesn't have to be expensive, but do a little like

1962
01:33:29,400 --> 01:33:31,759
Speaker 4: vow yeah, make it without them.

1963
01:33:31,880 --> 01:33:32,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1964
01:33:33,400 --> 01:33:35,599
Speaker 8: I wish I'd stood up for myself more. I wish

1965
01:33:35,680 --> 01:33:38,120
Speaker 8: I had never settled, And I wish that we'd kept

1966
01:33:38,160 --> 01:33:40,920
Speaker 8: it strictly to our closest friends, the real ones who

1967
01:33:40,960 --> 01:33:42,880
Speaker 8: had stuck with us through all the bs.

1968
01:33:43,160 --> 01:33:45,320
Speaker 4: And you know who can stick with you is us.

1969
01:33:45,360 --> 01:33:48,040
Speaker 4: You just gotta join us live every weekday through PMPST

1970
01:33:48,680 --> 01:33:52,040
Speaker 4: just tab our profit. But there's there's more to the story.

1971
01:33:52,080 --> 01:33:54,920
Speaker 4: But what are your thoughts right now? Oh man, it

1972
01:33:54,920 --> 01:33:59,400
Speaker 4: seems like your mother is just incredibly manipulative, and I think,

1973
01:33:59,400 --> 01:34:02,040
Speaker 4: going for word, it seems like you've already kind of

1974
01:34:02,080 --> 01:34:04,519
Speaker 4: cut your or are cutting her out of your life

1975
01:34:04,560 --> 01:34:06,320
Speaker 4: to a certain extent, which I think is a great

1976
01:34:06,320 --> 01:34:08,679
Speaker 4: idea because she doesn't deserve to have a hold over

1977
01:34:08,720 --> 01:34:12,880
Speaker 4: you anymore. Yeah, release sad to the to the dogs,

1978
01:34:12,680 --> 01:34:16,120
Speaker 4: let go, let it go. Yeah, I agree with all that.

1979
01:34:16,200 --> 01:34:19,200
Speaker 4: I think renewing of vows and having a little redo

1980
01:34:19,439 --> 01:34:21,439
Speaker 4: is like perfect, that's what I Yeah, that's I think

1981
01:34:21,479 --> 01:34:23,320
Speaker 4: that would be lovely. How that just be a little

1982
01:34:23,360 --> 01:34:26,600
Speaker 4: close friend's only thing and then just like have that

1983
01:34:26,680 --> 01:34:29,559
Speaker 4: replace it? Mm hmm. Get a cute little dress, Yeah,

1984
01:34:29,640 --> 01:34:31,280
Speaker 4: get a dress on a budget that you actually like,

1985
01:34:31,400 --> 01:34:33,800
Speaker 4: and then actually, let's just get on you. Doesn't have

1986
01:34:33,840 --> 01:34:36,759
Speaker 4: to be just a crazy thing. So more to the story,

1987
01:34:36,920 --> 01:34:40,200
Speaker 4: little update, My family still showed up to my wedding.

1988
01:34:40,920 --> 01:34:44,320
Speaker 8: My mom yelled at me after the ceremony and demanded

1989
01:34:44,320 --> 01:34:45,840
Speaker 8: that I help clean up, so.

1990
01:34:45,840 --> 01:34:49,040
Speaker 4: I ended up being late to the reception. What you'd

1991
01:34:49,080 --> 01:34:51,080
Speaker 4: make the bride clean up at her own wedding. What

1992
01:34:51,800 --> 01:34:53,320
Speaker 4: you sit around with a trash bag?

1993
01:34:53,640 --> 01:34:53,840
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1994
01:34:54,000 --> 01:34:57,320
Speaker 8: What picking up a little flower petals wherever the shoulders

1995
01:34:57,400 --> 01:34:59,840
Speaker 8: drop on. My sister's dress kept sliding off and she

1996
01:35:00,000 --> 01:35:02,400
Speaker 8: I had to constantly pull her dress up while she danced.

1997
01:35:03,120 --> 01:35:05,920
Speaker 8: Matt and I are still together to this day, been

1998
01:35:05,960 --> 01:35:07,240
Speaker 8: married for twelve years.

1999
01:35:07,320 --> 01:35:10,679
Speaker 4: Oh good. We still have a rocky relationship with my mom.

2000
01:35:11,000 --> 01:35:13,400
Speaker 4: But I'm seeing a therapist now and have come so

2001
01:35:13,560 --> 01:35:16,680
Speaker 4: far from who I was back then. Anyway, thank you

2002
01:35:16,800 --> 01:35:19,360
Speaker 4: for listening to my story. And that is the end,

2003
01:35:21,160 --> 01:35:23,439
Speaker 4: beautiful good thing that she's going to therapy. Yeah, I

2004
01:35:23,479 --> 01:35:26,519
Speaker 4: think twelve years is coming. When fifteen rolls around, Rene

2005
01:35:26,600 --> 01:35:30,200
Speaker 4: those vows, renew those vows, fifteen year anniversary.

2006
01:35:30,320 --> 01:35:33,880
Speaker 8: Yeah, let your sister like pick her own dress, because

2007
01:35:33,880 --> 01:35:34,559
Speaker 8: that's another thing.

2008
01:35:34,560 --> 01:35:39,800
Speaker 4: The sister her dressed. I was so sad. That's just sad. Yeah,

2009
01:35:40,000 --> 01:35:42,840
Speaker 4: your mom sucks. Yeah, you mad a great. That's the

2010
01:35:42,880 --> 01:35:45,000
Speaker 4: end of that story, So we'll see you next time.