Speaker 1: This show contains adult material and swearing.
Speaker 2: You have been warned.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people don't know what they're
Speaker 1: like is the problem? So I mean, who does I did?
Speaker 3: I mean, have you listened to yourself? Listened to yourself
Speaker 3: as entire day?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm really annoying, That's all I know. Look having me,
Speaker 2: I'm a savage. Are you bored of modern dating?
Speaker 1: Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
Speaker 1: same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your
Speaker 1: house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
Speaker 1: time to change the narrative on how we find love.
Speaker 1: It's time to start looking for love in all the
Speaker 1: wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
Speaker 1: picking people who are the total opposite of my type.
Speaker 1: And after twenty eight of these dates in two months,
Speaker 1: will I find that special someone?
Speaker 4: Or Well?
Speaker 1: This experiment proved that I should just give up on
Speaker 1: dating altogether. It's time to find out. I'm Grace Campbell
Speaker 1: and this is twenty eight dates later.
Speaker 2: Hi, Dan, Hi, you need to say hi Grace.
Speaker 5: Okay, Hi Grace. Well, we ty of feeling.
Speaker 2: Don't say it like you want me to die?
Speaker 3: Well, don't direct me I need to say hello.
Speaker 2: The first line of the script.
Speaker 3: It's not scripted scripted podcast.
Speaker 1: Dan, It says Dan, say hi Grace, So Grace says
Speaker 1: Hi Dan, Hi Grace.
Speaker 2: Dan. Can I ask your question?
Speaker 1: So, when you're on dating apps, what are the biggest
Speaker 1: things that like will be a complete no, Like I'm
Speaker 1: not going to meet with you.
Speaker 3: Well, when people try to be funny and they're not funny,
Speaker 3: I kind of hate that, But I'm not that funny
Speaker 3: in my dating app. I've got like one joke.
Speaker 2: Really I can't believe that.
Speaker 3: Actually maybe I am, but like I've got one joke
Speaker 3: that I say always. You know that one of the
Speaker 3: questions on it, hine or something, it's like, what is
Speaker 3: your like pet hate? And I always say my pet
Speaker 3: hate is when my pets hate me more than I
Speaker 3: love that because it's not like too much, but it's
Speaker 3: just enough.
Speaker 5: I don't know what.
Speaker 3: Like a lot of men like have dating I think
Speaker 3: this is maybe more the straight man. Like when I
Speaker 3: see like four of the five photos of them skiing
Speaker 3: with like a big ski mask on, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: maybe if we can't see your face, like that's so stupid,
Speaker 3: like three quarters of your face is gone.
Speaker 2: But obviously they're hiding their faces because they're ugly.
Speaker 3: Now, but sometimes they're not. But I think sometimes people
Speaker 3: just don't think this through, like they think that.
Speaker 1: I think sometimes men don't have pictures of themselves.
Speaker 2: I think that's the thing.
Speaker 1: One of the deals, and I broke up with my
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend, like one of the sort of like statement
Speaker 1: deals was that he'd never put any pictures I took
Speaker 1: of him on Hinge and he was like, but I
Speaker 1: have no other pictures.
Speaker 2: All the pictures I have a pictures you dogging me.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, my r is not allowed on
Speaker 1: your Hinge profile because I don't want to be on
Speaker 1: Hinge and bump into my pictures.
Speaker 3: Or at least I right, like curated by Grace Campbell, Yeah,
Speaker 3: taken by or on cumbers. What else do I hate?
Speaker 2: So me and Holly have this.
Speaker 1: Ongoing argument because Holly thinks if somebody has a dating
Speaker 1: app profile and they have no pictures of them with
Speaker 1: other people, Holly will not match with them. But when
Speaker 1: I see someone with a dating profile and they have
Speaker 1: pictures of them of other people, I won't match with
Speaker 1: them because that gives me the egg because I'm like
Speaker 1: why do you think you're so ugly you're having to
Speaker 1: like blend in with your friends, and Holly thinks, but
Speaker 1: but then that means they don't have friends, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: obviously they have friends, Like who doesn't have friends?
Speaker 3: When they then got a photo and it's with someone else,
Speaker 3: but they put like an emoji of their face because.
Speaker 5: It's like their X.
Speaker 2: I actually keep seeing that on just cop it just
Speaker 2: don't use it.
Speaker 5: Wait, sorry, you were dating an emoji? What is this?
Speaker 3: It's so embarrassing.
Speaker 1: So I went on a date this week with the
Speaker 1: guy who profile on a dating app was bad for
Speaker 1: various reasons. I mean, he barely had any pictures of himself,
Speaker 1: Like he's only got three pictures of himself, and he
Speaker 1: looks weirdly, like really different in each picture.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is a red flower.
Speaker 1: And then in the writing, it says, let's vibe and
Speaker 1: have fun looking something casual, let's go on a quote
Speaker 1: unquote capital letters date meaning quote unquote dick at the end,
Speaker 1: which I kind of love, but I kind of vibe that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's really funny. Like when do you think
Speaker 1: he thought of that? And he was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm so clever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well no, you know he's like seen it
Speaker 3: somewhere else. Surely you think he's made that.
Speaker 2: You never know. He's a creative, he's in the creative industry.
Speaker 2: He had a good chat though, I.
Speaker 3: Mean he's a little bit like a good chat.
Speaker 2: Well we'll come on to this.
Speaker 1: But after the date, he tried to take me to
Speaker 1: see the Wagatha Christie play.
Speaker 5: Okay, absolutely dead? Was he there? Like? Was he like?
Speaker 5: D y c WP? Do you come?
Speaker 3: I can't do it?
Speaker 5: This is what most trying to say.
Speaker 2: I can't catching dyslexia is what I think.
Speaker 3: Oh your wordsmith?
Speaker 2: How are you? How was your day that? It was
Speaker 2: good as all right?
Speaker 4: It was, it was calm. I'm emotional designer, so I
Speaker 4: was just like emotion wrap designer. So I did like
Speaker 4: two D three animation the same ship, different.
Speaker 2: Days, really enthusiastic about it.
Speaker 4: Do I tak?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 2: How long we've been doing that? How long we hate
Speaker 2: to learn to learn?
Speaker 4: I've been learning since I was a kid, like I dyslexia?
Speaker 2: So did you always like do art?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I I always wanted to do art, like reading, It's
Speaker 4: not my first anchorage, like yeah whatever, But It's just
Speaker 4: like when I meet people. It took me some time
Speaker 4: to actually understand a lot of people where body language
Speaker 4: is always a bitter thing for me as a kid.
Speaker 4: So I can understand someone how they act, how.
Speaker 2: They their body languages. Okay, the way the eyes are,
Speaker 2: how do you read my body language?
Speaker 4: Can't collect of chill in?
Speaker 5: You have fun?
Speaker 4: They like, maybe I could be at hook.
Speaker 2: No, I don't feel that. As long as I've got
Speaker 2: my dog with me, I'm very happy.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 3: Well, firstly, reading is in anyone's first language. You know
Speaker 3: that that doesn't actually make sense.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I had to I feel like I had
Speaker 1: to ask him like loads of questions on the actual day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he sounds quite nervous, to be honest, he's got
Speaker 3: like thin.
Speaker 2: I thought he was quite calm just reading.
Speaker 3: Body language right now. You seemed quite calm. That's like, well,
Speaker 3: you might want to say, how.
Speaker 1: Did he go from talking about his dyslexia to how
Speaker 1: he reads body language? Like reading is not my first language, but.
Speaker 2: Languages he was like it took a while.
Speaker 1: I think at the beginning, I feel like he didn't
Speaker 1: really know what he was there for. But then I
Speaker 1: feel like over time he thought, Actually, I quite like
Speaker 1: obviously only human.
Speaker 3: But the thing is, if you look at his profile,
Speaker 3: he's only like prepping for the end, like he's actually
Speaker 3: profile he's just like, I know, I'm going to give
Speaker 3: you a dick at the end of the day, but
Speaker 3: the beginning of the day, I'm going to try and
Speaker 3: read your language.
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm going to try and read your language
Speaker 1: and give you like below average chat.
Speaker 3: Do you know what average chat?
Speaker 2: The chat has to be good if when.
Speaker 3: Someone can't hear you being ironically enjoy it?
Speaker 5: Do I?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: No? So what's your like? What's your vibe?
Speaker 3: What are you into? Like?
Speaker 2: Do you watch comedy? Do you like Sunday?
Speaker 4: I feel like anyone does.
Speaker 2: Everyone was like comedy?
Speaker 3: Is that not a thing?
Speaker 2: No? I didn't really watch that.
Speaker 1: On the side to do it, I'm a very well
Speaker 1: known comedian.
Speaker 2: Is Instagram follow you back?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 5: Are you trying to go to me.
Speaker 2: Or me on today?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, you've just rejected me.
Speaker 3: But sure.
Speaker 5: There is zero vibe on this day.
Speaker 3: It feels like zero vibe firstly, or so, what is
Speaker 3: this product placement of yourself?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, well, I'm the I'm the worst person
Speaker 2: in the world. But with this whole process.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the thing that has bothered me is the amount
Speaker 1: of people who come on the date and pretend like
Speaker 1: they haven't googled me before doing it. There is not
Speaker 1: a fucking chance in the world that I would go
Speaker 1: on a date with someone for a podcast being recorded
Speaker 1: and not look up the person before.
Speaker 2: What if they're like a Nazi? Like do you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? You need to know? Like if I'm
Speaker 2: like a fucked up person.
Speaker 3: I love that if there was ant scene the like,
Speaker 3: so watch the vibe, Nazis.
Speaker 5: So watch your vibe.
Speaker 3: Real general comedy girls of curly hair.
Speaker 2: Grace Hamil, do you follow me just on Instagram?
Speaker 5: Like, I'll follow you back for like two.
Speaker 2: I'm still following him?
Speaker 3: Is it?
Speaker 2: I'm still following him?
Speaker 3: I sometimes I have to go for like a little purge, right,
Speaker 3: Like I go through who I'm following them, They're like,
Speaker 3: why why do I know?
Speaker 2: I follow like two thy five hundred people?
Speaker 1: Like I just follow people like really fucking Lilly, And
Speaker 1: then and then I'll be like looking at someone's stories
Speaker 1: and I'll.
Speaker 2: Be like, who the fuck is that? Like why am
Speaker 2: I following this random girl with like four.
Speaker 1: Hundred followers I met like once in a bathroom, like
Speaker 1: I don't want to see your holiday content.
Speaker 3: That was me, that is you.
Speaker 2: I muted you. Do you ever get into like arguments
Speaker 2: of people one days?
Speaker 5: I've never gone argument really.
Speaker 1: So many arguments and I'm just kind of all over
Speaker 1: the place.
Speaker 2: Look at my hair.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I used to say that back in the day.
Speaker 4: Like people will ask me like like oh, kind of
Speaker 4: a cigarette? It's like okay, roll like you used to
Speaker 4: have like dreads and ship or like do I have
Speaker 4: dress for nothing? Now there's like yeah, last.
Speaker 2: Year, what made you want to do it?
Speaker 4: Just knew me for like eight years.
Speaker 5: Wow, they're like it.
Speaker 4: And then I was on the day that the majority
Speaker 4: of the girls were like, oh, Dreads, are you gonna
Speaker 4: g back?
Speaker 5: Love the dreads love me.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I'm sorry, I feel like I actually am hating
Speaker 1: myself on this day.
Speaker 3: This podcast isn't about cutting.
Speaker 1: Down yourself, I know, but I have to acknowledge with
Speaker 1: the audience that I'm aware that I'm quite annoying, Like
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like I laugh at
Speaker 1: absolutely everything anyone says.
Speaker 2: We need just to feel annoying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we also need to like stop propping men
Speaker 3: up so much.
Speaker 1: I mean, nothing was funny, and I'm laughing to make
Speaker 1: him feel good. And that's why he felt like the
Speaker 1: date was going well because I was laughing everything he
Speaker 1: was saying.
Speaker 3: But the thing is is like men just need to
Speaker 3: learn that, like they aren't funny.
Speaker 2: At all, not even remotely, not one. No. I mean,
Speaker 2: was the last time a man made me laugh Jim.
Speaker 3: Carrey in the Mask when I was a kid. Rob Williams.
Speaker 3: Williams started it for everyone.
Speaker 1: There was not not a single man who's made me
Speaker 1: laugh since Robin Williams died. Anyway, I feel like this
Speaker 1: is the one where I'm really gonna analyze myself more
Speaker 1: because he's not giving me much materials.
Speaker 3: Well, it's not spiral, it's my ration in my face
Speaker 3: making me spiral. What had quite a lot.
Speaker 1: Actually, like I get in fights. I got in fight
Speaker 1: like two days ago in the shelter charity shop. I
Speaker 1: was there with the dog and the woman said I
Speaker 1: could take the dog into the changing room.
Speaker 2: Come out of the change room.
Speaker 1: Obviously, Eddie, like the tinest little dog in the world,
Speaker 1: came the change room. This woman weighing in the queue
Speaker 1: was like and I was like, you're right. She was like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go into a change room that
Speaker 1: the dog has just been in. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: well that's ridiculous, like she's a very well a waved dog,
Speaker 1: she hasn't done a ship in there. And then the
Speaker 1: woman made the volunteer clean the changing room before she
Speaker 1: could go in. So I was like that's despicable, Like
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, like that is despicable behavior, like this woman's
Speaker 1: like volunteering. So I was just like kind of shouting
Speaker 1: at her from a crosse the shop, and then I
Speaker 1: remember that I am a public figure and I had
Speaker 1: to stop. You're a chatty shop shop, like no offense
Speaker 1: for everything.
Speaker 2: A charity shops is like smelly, do you know what
Speaker 2: I mean?
Speaker 3: Washed?
Speaker 1: Washed?
Speaker 2: My dog has?
Speaker 3: You're putting on the stench of a dead person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you're angry at my cove looking Charles Maniel.
Speaker 3: I always get like a bit like testy chatty shops
Speaker 3: when like I get something that's like for a woman,
Speaker 3: and then the employees that're like this is for a woman,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, yeah, you got an issue.
Speaker 2: That's actually wild, that's actually wild.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like maybe they're just saying, like you six foot five,
Speaker 3: like bloke body person, This little shimmy's little blouse is
Speaker 3: not going to fit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like it's a crop.
Speaker 5: Y're like, you keep coming in and ripping all the
Speaker 5: female clothes. Just stop thinking you've got.
Speaker 3: Body just morphy in the way that you think you're
Speaker 3: five for five Smith Spoon type.
Speaker 5: You ain't you Wait.
Speaker 3: Anyway, people always see me as well. They're like, I
Speaker 3: forget you're so tall, And I'm like, do I give
Speaker 3: off small person energy?
Speaker 1: No you don't, but do I know? I feel like
Speaker 1: I give off such particua.
Speaker 5: Wait, sorry, yeah you did?
Speaker 3: Wait where's so?
Speaker 1: I asked him how the dating apps were going for
Speaker 1: him with his profile being what is confident outlandish?
Speaker 4: I think a mattress.
Speaker 5: This one girl called Gabby and I was like, Gabby
Speaker 5: the baddie. What you're saying?
Speaker 2: It takes some time word to reply.
Speaker 4: She did reply, Yeah, we just she was a kiss.
Speaker 4: She's in a media as well.
Speaker 5: I thought she gonna be funny.
Speaker 2: Really yeah, I was making her laugh.
Speaker 4: I was like, really making me laugh?
Speaker 3: Are you okay?
Speaker 2: Judge?
Speaker 5: The thing is right.
Speaker 3: It's like, I mean, if someone was like Gabby the baddie.
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, we've got a poet on her hands
Speaker 3: with that rhyming scheme.
Speaker 2: Like that isn't that isn't so short?
Speaker 3: With your dyslexia, do you have like a funny opener.
Speaker 2: On a dating app? No? I never start a conversations started.
Speaker 3: I just I can't be bothered. I'm always like, hi,
Speaker 3: how are you? When people are like message you and
Speaker 3: they're like Mary kills shags, that's funny.
Speaker 5: I'll do all three to all three.
Speaker 2: So we were.
Speaker 1: Talking about our types, and I was trying to figure
Speaker 1: out if he was like my usual type. Do you
Speaker 1: like watch a lot of football, watch like a big
Speaker 1: Arsenal fan or.
Speaker 2: Like a half ast Arsenal.
Speaker 4: I'm notreave, like I don't watch so much football.
Speaker 5: Craved guys, do you think?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's another one of my types. Prefers themselves as creatives.
Speaker 1: I used to go out of a guy who was
Speaker 1: a creative right.
Speaker 2: And whenever he was what was his job?
Speaker 1: He wasn't even a creative. He was like a music manager.
Speaker 1: But it's not really, you're the manager, not the creative,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: World?
Speaker 1: That's true, but so do we I don't refer to
Speaker 1: myself as a creative. Is what is the biggest it
Speaker 1: for me? When people call themselves creatives.
Speaker 3: But when you just said that that's one of your TOI.
Speaker 2: Yes, because it is.
Speaker 3: It gives you're an it well, because I always.
Speaker 1: I always get with people and then I'm like, oh fuck.
Speaker 1: And then I'll hear them referring to themselves as creative
Speaker 1: and I'm like, fuck, I'm already trapped. But he whenever,
Speaker 1: like i'd call him out on anything, he'd be like, Babe,
Speaker 1: I'm a creative what are you talking. I remember there
Speaker 1: was a week where he said we had sex too
Speaker 1: much and because he was coming too much, he was
Speaker 1: losing his creative energy ian and so he was like, sorry,
Speaker 1: we can't have sex this week.
Speaker 2: And I was like, well get out.
Speaker 5: Wait. So he can't manage musicians because he's came too.
Speaker 2: Much, because he's come too hard.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's actually ridiculous. It was ridiculous, really hard to
Speaker 3: get my musicians gigs because I'm empty and come sack.
Speaker 3: I remember one time I spoke to this guy who's
Speaker 3: like a bit like holistic and spiritual, and I said that, like,
Speaker 3: I wake up and the like when I wake up
Speaker 3: is when I would like masturbate. I was feeling horney,
Speaker 3: like I always feel hornis in the morning. It's like
Speaker 3: terrible to date me because like as I wake up
Speaker 3: and I'm like, let's have sex, and like I really
Speaker 3: feel the horn. But this guy was like, oh no,
Speaker 3: in terend of you're like energetic flow, Like you need
Speaker 3: that life energy in you, so you should maybe MasSpec
Speaker 3: at the end of the day.
Speaker 5: But he was like, I never come.
Speaker 3: I keep that energy. Yeah, but that's a reason orgasmic state.
Speaker 3: But like I never released them.
Speaker 2: But that is the whole thing.
Speaker 1: Men, like spiritual men, a lot of them believe that
Speaker 1: like when you come, you're losing a lot of your
Speaker 1: like healing energy.
Speaker 3: Baby, then I'm going to die soon because my god,
Speaker 3: drained no healing energy. No.
Speaker 1: But it's also just fucking like embarrassing because it's like, again,
Speaker 1: you have no healing energy. Whether or not you're coming
Speaker 1: makes no difference. Your energy is horrific to be around,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like there's always people like
Speaker 1: that that have bad fucking vibes.
Speaker 5: I don't know you've been hanging out with.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Yeah, but he comes all the time.
Speaker 2: This has been a good day, I hope.
Speaker 4: So up or not?
Speaker 3: No, I'm not.
Speaker 2: What's the number I'm gonna get a number?
Speaker 3: Is that?
Speaker 5: Okay?
Speaker 2: My number?
Speaker 3: Okay? So if you found your soul mate, is he
Speaker 3: the one? Methinks no, Yeah, I don't think so either.
Speaker 3: He's cute though there's a vibe there, but like he's not.
Speaker 3: I don't think he's enough of a vibe for you.
Speaker 3: No good look in your life, sir. I hope great
Speaker 3: things come to you. Dick at the end, why not
Speaker 3: Dick at the start? Why not Dick in the middle.
Speaker 3: Thing is lot of these things is like we're only
Speaker 3: hearing the audio, and like he is right in terms
Speaker 3: of like body language and stuff like you could be
Speaker 3: sitting there like having like good eyes and like maybe
Speaker 3: like good body language, and it feels like a vibe
Speaker 3: even if like the conversation when we listening to it afterwards,
Speaker 3: does it sound like it's popping?
Speaker 2: It was good.
Speaker 1: I did attracted and he was very attractive, and he
Speaker 1: was really tall, and I definitely enjoyed the day, but
Speaker 1: there was like that sort of flirty vibe completely missing. Right,
Speaker 1: I'm not not having a good time. But when I
Speaker 1: look into your eyes, I don't want to fuck you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think it's that thing was interested to
Speaker 3: listen back to be Like reading his profile, I was like,
Speaker 3: it's kind of confident, but like the thing that's maybe
Speaker 3: like the disparity is being like I expect.
Speaker 6: That kind of level of like confidence when you're a
Speaker 6: day yeah, but it's like you know when you're messaging
Speaker 6: someone before you meet them and they're like giving it
Speaker 6: all and then you meet them and then you're like, oh,
Speaker 6: your chat is dead flying with me, but you've been
Speaker 6: like sexting me for a week because that's.
Speaker 3: Oh baby, oh my god. I remember I was like
Speaker 3: chatting to this guy and it was like literally just
Speaker 3: all sex. It was like so hot, and like then
Speaker 3: when we met up, I was like I would rather
Speaker 3: be with like a cardboard cut out of Ronald McDonald,
Speaker 3: Like there is no vibe. There is no vibe, or
Speaker 3: like how do you sex so well? Like how you
Speaker 3: like you should go into a rottica like my mom
Speaker 3: would read a book that you wrote.
Speaker 1: Story like that to me, vibe serial killer really bugs
Speaker 1: me out when someone's like one thing on text and
Speaker 1: then a completely differing when you meet that.
Speaker 3: But then the whole thing is like you just have
Speaker 3: to sell yourself and the reality of yourself, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean, Like you don't.
Speaker 1: Have you have to be realistic about what you're like.
Speaker 1: But I think a lot of people don't know what
Speaker 1: they're like.
Speaker 3: Is a problem. So I mean, who does I do?
Speaker 3: I mean, have you listened to yourself? Listened to yourself
Speaker 3: this entire day?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm really annoying, That's all I know. I'm realistic.
Speaker 1: Next time on twin eight dates later, how do you
Speaker 1: actually have time to be seeing five different people? And like,
Speaker 1: you know what when you saying this, I only looked
Speaker 1: at his photos and that's why I was shocking. You're like,
Speaker 1: he's got five griffins and then you just scrolled in
Speaker 1: and realize that his pronaiins are he him?
Speaker 2: You? Your mom?
Speaker 6: Oh my girls around for me?
Speaker 2: I'm a savage. They can help it.
Speaker 1: Twenty eight Dates Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio.
Speaker 1: The series is presented by me Grace Campbell with help
Speaker 1: from Roz Purcell and Dan Why.
Speaker 2: The producer is Diggory Way. The executive producer is Claire Broughton.
Speaker 2: Our editors are Mithily Raw and Max O'Brien.
Speaker 1: Production management from Shari Houston and Charlotte Wall. Willard Foxton
Speaker 1: is our creative director of Development.