1 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, sex, dating, work, parenting, whatever 3 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 1: dot com and click that button that says Strawberry Letter, 5 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: Submit Strawberry Letter, and we could be reading your letter 6 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this 7 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: one right here here that you never know it could 8 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: be yours. Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for 9 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter. Well, my great friend Shirley Strawberry. Okay, 10 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: my great friend too, Junior, thank you. Subject. My ground 11 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 1: stepson has to go. Just Shirley and Steve. I'm a successful, 12 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:45,160 Speaker 1: thirty four year old married man and I love my wife, 13 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,560 Speaker 1: but I'm miserable at home. My wife and I met 14 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: just before COVID and we've been married for one year. 15 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 1: Our marriage was great until recently, and it's because of 16 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,840 Speaker 1: my twenty eight year old stepson that won't move out 17 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 1: of our home. My wife is sixteen years older than 18 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: I am. When we met, her man child was living 19 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: with her and she told me it was a temporary 20 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: arrangement only during the pandemic. By the time we got 21 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: married and I moved in. My stepson was still living 22 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: there and his pregnant girlfriend had moved in again. My 23 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: wife said this was only temporary until their baby was born. 24 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:25,040 Speaker 1: Shortly after I moved in, my stepson lost his job 25 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 1: and didn't tell us. We overheard his girlfriend yelling about 26 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: him getting fired, and then she moved out. I understood 27 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 1: that he might be ashamed, so I tried to give 28 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: him a pep talk. He bowed up at me and 29 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: we almost got a fight. I stay on my wife 30 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: about pushing him out of the nest, and she's always 31 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,559 Speaker 1: she always has an excuse for allowing him to stay. 32 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: I hate to come home and see another man fixing 33 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 1: a plate of food that I've worked hard for. I 34 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 1: hate to see another man lying on my couch watching 35 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: reality shows instead of looking for a I'm so glad 36 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: that I didn't sell my house when we got married, 37 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 1: because I may have to go back to my house 38 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: and let her manchild run this one. The fighting is 39 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: getting to me, and I told my wife that I 40 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 1: might be moving out soon. She broke down in tears, 41 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,839 Speaker 1: but still didn't have sense enough to agree that it's 42 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 1: time for her son to leave. Should I move out 43 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 1: and let my wife figure out if she wants me 44 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 1: or her son. Well, clearly she wants you because she 45 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 1: married you. She just doesn't know how to handle this 46 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:35,079 Speaker 1: situation with her son. As a mom, she's struggling with 47 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 1: kicking her son out. You know, she's thinking, this is 48 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: my baby and all that. You know, I don't want 49 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: to kick him out. Where's he gonna go? And the 50 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: mom isn't putting her marriage first. But in the letter 51 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 1: you did say he's twenty eight years old, right, so 52 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 1: he's good and grown. Normally I would say don't leave. 53 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: I would say don't leave your own home. But in 54 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:03,360 Speaker 1: this case, since you have another home and just to 55 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,079 Speaker 1: have some peace you don't like the fighting, I say go. 56 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: Your wife will will put her sorry grown son out. 57 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,359 Speaker 1: She's not gonna do it until you see she sees 58 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: that you mean business, okay, And if you leave, that'll 59 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: show her that you mean business. You know you want 60 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 1: him out of there. I would I think it would 61 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: be a little different, and perhaps you'd be a little 62 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: more patient and understanding if he wasn't so lazy and disrespectful. 63 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 1: Not to mention he tried to fight you. You were 64 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,799 Speaker 1: trying to help him. He's not even trying to help 65 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: himself at this point, and he won't because he's got 66 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: it too good at home with mom right now. And 67 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 1: this is him trying to mark his territory because he 68 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 1: was there first. He doesn't realize the dynamics have changed 69 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: now since the marriage. Your wife should have let him 70 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: know that things would be different because she has a husband, 71 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: you know, a new husband now, things like you know, 72 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: these are the things that change, like he'll no longer 73 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 1: be the man of the house and that he has 74 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 1: to respect her new husband. Okay, your wife is she 75 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 1: continues to enable this boy, this man, and he's never 76 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 1: going to leave as long as she does that. So 77 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 1: you got to talk to your wife. I know you 78 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: guys are newly wedge who've been married a year. Let 79 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: her know you want to set a date for her 80 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 1: son to be gone. Then you guys have to talk 81 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: to the son together. Let him know what you've decided. 82 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: If that doesn't work, if he still doesn't leave, let 83 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: her know that you're moving back to your own house 84 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,840 Speaker 1: until her son gets out. I mean, he's not even 85 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 1: looking for a job and he's expecting a child. His baby. 86 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 1: Mama didn't even stick around for his foolishness, So why 87 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 1: should you, Steve Wow. We have a couple of problems 88 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:49,359 Speaker 1: in this letter. First of all, when a man writes 89 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: a letter, everybody, I want you to understand that he 90 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,159 Speaker 1: has reached his fooits in me and don't write letter. 91 00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 1: And he wrote a good letter. It's well put. It 92 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: ain't him being emotional, it ain't some guy crying. He 93 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 1: got real problem. But there's a lot of things going 94 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 1: on in this letter that some people will overlook, and 95 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that. He's a thirty four 96 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,480 Speaker 1: year old married man. I love my wife, but I'm 97 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: miserable at home. My wife and I met before Kovid. 98 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: We've been married for a year. Our marriage was great 99 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,040 Speaker 1: until recently, and it is because of my twenty eight 100 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: year old stepson that won't move out of our home. 101 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 1: I remember this guyme, but thirty four, he now has 102 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 1: a son that's twenty eight. I want you to understand 103 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: that dynamic because it's going to come into play. Here's 104 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:49,039 Speaker 1: the next thing, because this is an age issue. My 105 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: wife is sixteen years older than I am. Are you 106 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 1: all listening here, You're thirty four, your wife is fifty. 107 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,840 Speaker 1: She has a twenty eight your old son, and he's 108 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 1: now your stepson, and you ain't for thirty four. All 109 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 1: of this is in the underbelly of the problem. So 110 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: when we met her, man child was living with her. 111 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: See man child, that's another term. So when I come back, 112 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be very quick, and I'm gonna point out 113 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: to you everything that's wrong, and then I'm gonna tell 114 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 1: my man what I thank you. All right, Steve? All right, 115 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: coming up with twenty two minutes after the twenty three 116 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 1: minutes after the hour, we will have part two of 117 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:49,280 Speaker 1: Steve's response to today's strawberry letter. My grown stepson has 118 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: to go is the subject. We'll get back into it 119 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:56,840 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, 120 00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:59,799 Speaker 1: come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject 121 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 1: grown stepson has to go, Well, he got to go. 122 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 1: He two damn much, and it's creating a problem in 123 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 1: the family. This is a thirty four year old man 124 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 1: that's married to a woman who has a twenty eight 125 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: year old son that's only a six year difference, and 126 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: his wife is sixteen year old older than him. She fifty. 127 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 1: All of this is the undercurrent of what's wrong in 128 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 1: this letter. Now, when we met her man child, that's 129 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 1: another term that's crazy. Her man child was living with her, 130 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: and she told me it was a temporary arrangement only 131 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: during the pandemic. By the time we got married and 132 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 1: I moved in, my stepson was still living there and 133 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: his pregnant girlfriend moved in. And then your wife said 134 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: that was only temporary until a babel was born. And 135 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: then shortly after you moved in, your stepson lost his job. 136 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 1: He didn't tell nobody. Then you overheard his girlfriend yelling 137 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 1: at him about getting fired, and then she moved out. 138 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 1: Everybody see what's wrong, but the mama, You see what's wrong. 139 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 1: The girlfriend's he was wrong. Then I understood that he 140 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: might be ashamed, So you went in there and tried 141 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 1: to give him a pep talk. He bowled up at 142 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 1: me and we almost got in the fight. See, because 143 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: he don't consider you his stepdaddy. You his peer that 144 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:42,439 Speaker 1: came in here and scooped up his mama. This little 145 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: young dude inn here, got my mama. She sprung on 146 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 1: this young board. Now you in't here trying to tell 147 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 1: me what to do. I'm surprised y'all didn't fight. I 148 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 1: stay all my wife about pushing him out of the nest, 149 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,400 Speaker 1: and she always got an excuse for allowing him to stay. 150 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: She's been enabled in this boy his whole life. Now 151 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 1: the girlfriend and frustrated with him because I ain't got 152 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 1: pregnant by this boy. You're frustrated with him because he 153 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: a man child, and she keep it getting making excuses 154 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 1: for the man child slash boy slash daddy. I hate 155 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,640 Speaker 1: to come up and now his worthy man is right there. 156 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 1: I hate to come home see another man fixing the 157 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 1: play of food that I worked hard bo that's real. 158 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: I hate to see another man lying on my couch 159 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: watching reality shows instead of looking for a job. That's real. 160 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: I'm so glad I didn't sell my house when we 161 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,080 Speaker 1: got married, because I may have to go back to 162 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 1: my house and let her man child run this one. 163 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 1: See it can be but two kings in the castle, 164 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: see that, and that can only be one queen in 165 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:55,559 Speaker 1: the castle. Most women ain't gonna let another woman come 166 00:09:55,559 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 1: in their house and run nothing nothing. I don't care 167 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: if she just visited and a woman ain't even got 168 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,559 Speaker 1: to be married, you're not fitting come in my house. 169 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 1: And run nothing. The fighting is getting to me. And 170 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 1: I told my wife I might be moving out soon. 171 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: She broke down in tears, but still didn't have sense 172 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: enough to greet this time for her son to lead. 173 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,839 Speaker 1: Should I move out and let my wife figure out 174 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,439 Speaker 1: if she wants me or her son? Well I would, 175 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 1: That's what I do. I let him make the choice 176 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,839 Speaker 1: because I'm not gonna keep making the choice. I'm not 177 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 1: gonna keep coming home miserable. I'm not gonna keep coming 178 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,960 Speaker 1: home supporting this this boy. I'm not fitting to do that. 179 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 1: He's enabling her. Surely you made a statement, you know, 180 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: and this is what you made that the mother is saying, 181 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 1: And you're right. She probably telling the man, well, where 182 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 1: is he gonna go? Right? As a mom, you know 183 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,440 Speaker 1: where is he gonna go? Well, I'll tell you where 184 00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: he gonna go. He'd go to work. That way, he 185 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 1: needs to go in here laying on the couch watching TV. Man, 186 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 1: Please look, man, marriage is a contract between two people 187 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: that have to form a two handed circle. Your wife 188 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 1: keep wanting to put her son in the circle. Her 189 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:22,679 Speaker 1: son is obviously incapable of running a proper relationship. He 190 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 1: can't even keep his girlfriend happy. She gone. Now he's 191 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 1: a father to be. What is he trying to do 192 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 1: about that? Don't seem like nothing because he watching TV 193 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:37,400 Speaker 1: or laying on the couch and make him play. I'm 194 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 1: not gonna do that. I'll go to my house stay there. 195 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: You know. Now you can come over here and live 196 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 1: with me and leave your man over there. But then 197 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 1: I'm not paying for that house that he's staying there. 198 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,079 Speaker 1: The twenty pandemic is over with. You gotta go get 199 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:58,680 Speaker 1: a damn job. I don't care if you're working clicking 200 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 1: zoom buttons or whatever. It's a job out there, but 201 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 1: I'm not paying. And that's all I have to say 202 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 1: about this letter. And the woman is dead, well yeah, yeah, 203 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:15,680 Speaker 1: I mean the baby mama is out. That should let 204 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 1: her know something right there. She does not want to 205 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: be with the trifling twenty eight year old father of 206 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: her child. Yeah all right, well, Steve, I think you 207 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,959 Speaker 1: know we said it all for this one. You can 208 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,840 Speaker 1: post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey 209 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook, and don't forget to please 210 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming 211 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:48,560 Speaker 1: up at forty six minutes after the hour. Let's see, Junior, 212 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: what's it gonna be. You got questions? Yeah, yeah, I 213 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,559 Speaker 1: got a good question about what do you see? Okay, 214 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: I heard. It's a lot to write down. All right, 215 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,439 Speaker 1: we'll deal with that. We'll deal with this. At forty 216 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: six minutes after the hour, the newly married Junior has 217 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 1: some questions for for Uncle Steve. Right after this, you're 218 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,079 Speaker 1: listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.