1 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, This is Thelma and Louise. Well actually that's 2 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,599 Speaker 1: not really our names, but some purposes of this. It's 3 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,079 Speaker 1: going to be that way until we get comfortable with 4 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,760 Speaker 1: this concept. And since it's been about nine years that 5 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: Thelma and I have been trying to navigate the dating 6 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: world and haven't successfully got ourselves into a final destination 7 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: chapter two relationship, we are hesitant to give our real names. 8 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: But maybe one day we will be comfortable to give 9 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: our real names. Anyways, here we are bestie since college. 10 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: Did not think that we would end up where we are, 11 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 1: which is divorced. But we've made lemonade out of lemons 12 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: and we are boots on the ground, normal people, not 13 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 1: celebrities in our fifties children kids in college like ready 14 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 1: to kind of focus on our chapter two. We spend 15 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: a lot of time actually dating. We do the date prep, 16 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:16,120 Speaker 1: we do the post mortem, and we are happy to 17 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: be an open book and answer any and all questions 18 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,959 Speaker 1: because we are all in this together, ladies, and we 19 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:27,320 Speaker 1: all have a single goal of finding our unicorn. So Thelma, 20 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: we thought it would be interesting if we were to 21 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,199 Speaker 1: talk to our friends out there and just talk about 22 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 1: the concept of a first date, Right, Like, let's assume 23 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: we've met somebody out or we've you know, gone on 24 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 1: the dating app, and we have secured a first date, 25 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: and you and I have a lot of kind of 26 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: thoughts and opinions on outfits and how we should be 27 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: treated and expectations and all that, so let's just start 28 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:52,640 Speaker 1: with the concept of a first date. 29 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 2: Well, that's probably a good question for me because I 30 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 2: feel like Louise has a lot more experience with first 31 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 2: date than I do, so I'm still kind of getting 32 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:07,360 Speaker 2: the hang of it. But I ironically have two dates 33 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 2: this week, so I can really talk in their first dates, 34 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 2: so I feel like I can really speak to this. 35 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 2: I think starting kind of it's step one is the 36 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:20,959 Speaker 2: date outfit. And I don't know about you all out there, 37 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 2: but if I we have a uniform, well I think 38 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 2: it is it's getting a uniform so that when you 39 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 2: get asked out on a date, you know what is 40 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,919 Speaker 2: your go to that makes you feel confident and good 41 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:36,919 Speaker 2: about yourself. And also it's not that it's an hour 42 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 2: before the date and you have closed all over your 43 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 2: closet floor, you're freaking out, You're tempted to cancel and 44 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 2: thinking this is not happening. Because if that's me and 45 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,000 Speaker 2: I'm not prepared and don't feel good, I either show 46 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,920 Speaker 2: up and I'm ready to polish off ten cocktails because 47 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 2: I'm such a stress case, or I kind of want 48 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,839 Speaker 2: to can the whole thing. So I feel like we've 49 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,640 Speaker 2: really spent a lot of time to kind of figure 50 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 2: out what is our signature look and like coming up 51 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,399 Speaker 2: with a couple outfits that really work for us. 52 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 1: I think what's important about the first date outfit is 53 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 1: what message are you trying to give off about who 54 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:12,679 Speaker 1: you are? 55 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 2: Right? 56 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,640 Speaker 1: So for example, you know, are we going to go 57 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: in and are we going to wear, you know, at 58 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: age fifty, like a camusol and nothing over our shoulders 59 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: and just kind of say like hey, hey, like lucky 60 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: you there could be action today, Or are we going 61 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,359 Speaker 1: to wear an elegant blouse, Like what imageer we try 62 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 1: to put forward that represents best who we are to 63 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: give that first date person a sense. So I know 64 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: you and I spend a lot of time on you know, 65 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 1: if we're going to wear, for example, a blouse and 66 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 1: maybe we'll wear a more fitted bottom, or if we're 67 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: going to wear a camsol, then we're going to wear 68 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: like a leather jacket over our shoulders. So we're trying 69 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 1: to do like a chic but sexy but elegant, you know, 70 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: kind of age appropriate outfit. 71 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 2: And if we feel good in it, then that's all 72 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 2: that really matters to us. I also think that, like 73 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 2: for me, venues kind of because I know that a 74 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 2: lot of people probably have their ideal for a date, 75 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 2: but for me, it's it's short and sweet. And I 76 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 2: can speak to that because I've made this mistake. Now, 77 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 2: Like how many times, Louise, have I called you and said, 78 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,039 Speaker 2: oh my god, like, what is wrong? I just got 79 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,480 Speaker 2: suckered into four hours? 80 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 1: Well, last week you were on a date. It was 81 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: a first date, and it was like four hours. I 82 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: couldn't get you on the phone, and I was like, 83 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 1: either you're chopped up. I was got married and just 84 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,720 Speaker 1: eloped and didn't want your best friend to come. So 85 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: I think you're right. I think the first date really 86 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,160 Speaker 1: should be capped at an hour, leave them wanting more, 87 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: don't exhaust everything that we're talking about, right, Like, it 88 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,720 Speaker 1: should be short and sweet and just enough to give 89 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 1: kind of a sense of like, hey, do I want 90 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 1: to go out with this person again, and if. 91 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 2: You're anything like me, like set that up ahead of time, 92 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 2: because I always get suckered into the two nice syndrome 93 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,719 Speaker 2: where it's like, if it's not terrible, I mean I 94 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 2: can talk to a wall, you can talk to a wall. 95 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 2: I can make any date appear good, but we all 96 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 2: know if you're feeling it or not. And I think 97 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 2: for me, it's like I sit down in the conversation 98 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 2: flows and then sometimes I feel guilty. And I also 99 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 2: think sometimes I'm so I don't know if it's my 100 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:15,599 Speaker 2: ego or what it is, but sometimes I'm so fixated 101 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 2: on like wanting it to be a successful first date, 102 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 2: that I get caught up in that as opposed to like, 103 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,599 Speaker 2: what do I feel? Do I want to end this date? 104 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,600 Speaker 2: Is this a good use of my Thursday night? Or 105 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 2: would I rather be at home on my couch or 106 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 2: talking to my kids. 107 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,160 Speaker 1: I used to do that. I used to look at 108 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 1: every first date as an audition because rejection was so 109 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 1: hard for me that I would sit there and want 110 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,559 Speaker 1: to try to sign the date just to make sure 111 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 1: that I was going to get the call back the 112 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,799 Speaker 1: next day, and then I would decide if I wanted 113 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,919 Speaker 1: to go out with them? And recently I kind of 114 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: switched my focus to your point of like, wait, does 115 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 1: this person align with me? Am I interested? Do I 116 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 1: want to go out them again? 117 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 3: Like? 118 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,599 Speaker 1: Are we kind of on the same page? And so 119 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: I made it less about advice gets the callback and 120 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: more about like, do I want to go out with 121 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 1: this person again? Is this somebody that I want to, 122 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,280 Speaker 1: you know, spend an hour quite frankly away from you, laughing, 123 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,279 Speaker 1: eating goof kitchen and sweats and putting the effort into 124 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:16,280 Speaker 1: getting dressed and putting makeup on and sitting there and 125 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: going on a date. So I totally agree with you. 126 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,560 Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting going back to the concept of 127 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 1: a first date. I am one who does not and 128 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,719 Speaker 1: I know you feel the same way. We do not 129 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,039 Speaker 1: do video chats, Like I think there's something that gets 130 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 1: lost in translation. I mean, that's part of the problem 131 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,840 Speaker 1: with this whole swipe mentality is it's all based on physicality, 132 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: like swipe, swipe, swipe, sipe. Who's really reading the description? 133 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 1: And I think so much has to do with like 134 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: an energy and an aura and like almost like an 135 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,040 Speaker 1: ingredients of connection between two people on a date. So 136 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 1: I actually don't do video chat first dates, But. 137 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,840 Speaker 2: Do you insist on calling them or I mean or 138 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 2: having a conversation. 139 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,679 Speaker 1: Always have a phone call, So try to pivot pretty 140 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: quickly from a text to all unless it's a setup. 141 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: If it's a setup, to be honest with you, and 142 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: the person has been vetted from somebody in my life, 143 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: like I'm good just to have the kind of text 144 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: to make the date arrangement and then meet them in 145 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: person for the first time. If it's an app then 146 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 1: I think a phone call is super super important. But 147 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: I I definitely like to meet in person for the 148 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: first time. And I'm one who prefers a glass of 149 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: wine and not a hike for a coffee date. I 150 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 1: think it's a personal preference of where somebody feels their 151 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: most most comfortable. Some people want to, you know, wear 152 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: leggings and be like this is me, you know, love 153 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: me for who I am, instead of done up with 154 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: like the glamor. I like the idea of, you know, 155 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: putting myself together and showing up and sitting in a 156 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: place where there's a vibe and an atmosphere to kind 157 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 1: of help kind of fuel the energy a little bit. 158 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 1: And I'm always better on a goss of wine. Anyways, 159 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 1: I am too. 160 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 2: But did I tell you when I asked on my 161 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 2: date this guy, I said, so, what makes you choose 162 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,880 Speaker 2: a coffee date of our cocktail date? And his answer, yes, 163 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 2: this was his answer. He's like, I do it when 164 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 2: I'm not really sure of the pictures and if the 165 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 2: girl is going to be truly how she's represented online, 166 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 2: So I do it so that I can be sober 167 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 2: and really check her out. 168 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 1: Interesting. I mean, look, there's a lot of people that 169 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 1: have been at this game for a long time, and 170 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: everybody kind of has their greatest hits playlist of what 171 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: works for them or what is their their comfort level, 172 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 1: and you know, it's almost indicative of like people connecting 173 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 1: or not, Like does is our chemistry compass lined up? 174 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 1: Or do our i hate to say, childhood wounds line up? 175 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:46,080 Speaker 1: Or our baggage. It's interesting, it's a fascinating it's a 176 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 1: fascinating game, and I've learned to love the idea of 177 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 1: first dates. 178 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 2: Let's talk about dating apps, because aren't ninety nine of 179 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 2: us kind of forced or subjected to that's what we 180 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 2: need to do to meet people. I mean, these days, Louise, 181 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 2: do agree. 182 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: It's hard because I've I've been on apps briefly and 183 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,679 Speaker 1: it made me uncomfortable and I prefer setups, but setups 184 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 1: are fewer and far between. So I kind of look 185 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: at all of it and I'm always just open to 186 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 1: a first date, like if somebody wants to set me up, 187 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 1: or if there's somebody interesting enough on an app. Like 188 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: my time is just not that valuable in that I 189 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,560 Speaker 1: can spare an hour to meet somebody. And I think 190 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: that people come into our lives because they're supposed to, right. 191 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: I don't believe in random encounters. I think whether somebody 192 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: is supposed to be a lesson or a blessing, or 193 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,680 Speaker 1: it's somebody that can be you know, kind of punted 194 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:41,400 Speaker 1: to somebody else, right Like I remember I was once 195 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: having this conversation like one woman's trash could be another 196 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: woman's treasure, right. Like, So I'm always open to everything. 197 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: And you know, I have a lot of friends who 198 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 1: spend a lot of time and they want to like 199 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 1: Google and they want to know like where do they live, 200 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,680 Speaker 1: and what do they do, what's their job and this 201 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 1: and that. It's like I don't even do the I'm 202 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 1: going to be in a safe space, public space, like 203 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,439 Speaker 1: I'm okay, Like I'm not going to Google, I'm not 204 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: going to get preconceived motions. I go in now, super 205 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:12,320 Speaker 1: super open, and I think it's like kind of what 206 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 1: works for you and the way that we can increase 207 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: our numbers and of a dating app, which really, if 208 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: you think about it, it's like the days of standing 209 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:24,920 Speaker 1: in a Starbucks line or you know what, guy approaches 210 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,680 Speaker 1: a table of five girls eating dinner. It's so rare. 211 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,200 Speaker 1: We'd be better off sitting at a bar by ourselves, 212 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 1: which is kind of scary and I don't know, makes 213 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,000 Speaker 1: me feel super insecure. But a guy will talk to 214 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 1: a girl sitting at a bar by herself, or maybe 215 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 1: if you and I are like, look what happened last 216 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 1: Oh god, what happened last week? Was that crazy? 217 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,199 Speaker 2: Oh my god? Oh my god? That was that was 218 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:46,719 Speaker 2: creat You. 219 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: Have to tell the story because it talks about how 220 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: we put our put ourselves together and the energy we 221 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 1: give off. 222 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 2: Okay, well, so Louise and I are at a bar 223 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 2: and we're sitting there in our slash bar. Yeah yeah, 224 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,959 Speaker 2: and I I always and bibe a little more than 225 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 2: she does, so I'm always on my second glass of 226 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 2: wine while she's still nursing her first I'm very measured, 227 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,440 Speaker 2: so anyway, so I had ordered the second glass and 228 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 2: there was a guy sitting next to Louise, and I 229 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 2: guess he noticed that her glass was empty as I'm 230 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 2: like halfway through with my second, and so he all 231 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 2: of a sudden, glass of red wine shows up, and 232 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 2: you know your glass was empty, clearly mine wasn't. And 233 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 2: so we start striking up a conversation with him, and 234 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:37,800 Speaker 2: he was nice, but he was definitely older. He didn't 235 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,839 Speaker 2: look older. I think he actually looked great for his age. 236 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 2: That's like the nice compliment I have here is that 237 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,680 Speaker 2: he looked great for his age. But it did proceed 238 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 2: to get a little sketchy. But like we're gluttons for punishment, 239 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,280 Speaker 2: so we just kept on the conversation going. 240 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: But we also felt bad, like he bought a drink 241 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 1: for us. He was right next to us. We hadn't 242 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 1: even gotten our food, so we were not going anywhere. 243 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 2: Oh god, okay, I'm interrupting you. So that's a total topic. 244 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 2: Where you and I think I think we disagree on 245 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:08,080 Speaker 2: is that I feel so uncomfortable when somebody has bought 246 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:11,560 Speaker 2: me dinner or a drink. And that's often why I 247 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,640 Speaker 2: have a hard time getting up during a date, because 248 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:16,599 Speaker 2: I somehow feel like I owe them something. Do you 249 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 2: feel that way? 250 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 1: Well, that was a different situation. We were still sitting 251 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:20,960 Speaker 1: there and he had just sent a drink and he 252 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 1: was like, next us. You know what I'm saying. So 253 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 1: I feel like again, I mean, this is let me 254 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 1: just put this bluntly. I had a friend who's dating 255 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,679 Speaker 1: a guy this was awful, and he paid for her 256 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 1: to get her boobs done and some other work done, 257 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 1: and then she calls me up two weeks post surgery. 258 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:41,000 Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, I'm gonna break up with them. I go, what, 259 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: you can't do that? Like he bought you boobs, Like 260 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 1: he's got it. You can't just be so obvious, right, 261 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: So it's like I think those are extreme cases. But again, 262 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,800 Speaker 1: like if I in my own head have carved out 263 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,080 Speaker 1: that we're gonna have a drink for an hour and 264 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 1: I have said I have a dinner I'm going to, 265 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: then I'm okay with them buying me a drink. I 266 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 1: mean you and I look at that a little bit 267 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 1: differently now if it's flowing like I was on a 268 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 1: date last week and it was a drink date, and 269 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 1: it was a setup and we had agreed it was 270 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,560 Speaker 1: going to be an hour, and all of a sudden, 271 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 1: like we're getting at the forty five minute mark, he's like, oh, 272 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,200 Speaker 1: by the way, I have another hour. And I was like, 273 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 1: and I remember in my head thinking, okay, like I 274 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,839 Speaker 1: do like him, I'm enjoying him, but I don't want 275 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 1: to be too available. So I was like, okay, I 276 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 1: have about twenty more minutes. Remember, because you and I 277 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 1: met after for dinner. Yeah, and he bought my glass 278 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 1: of wine and you know, he said do you want 279 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 1: an appetizer? Which I thought was super classy, but that 280 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 1: was based on the flow of that. It was clear 281 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,000 Speaker 1: that we were having a good time and connecting. 282 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:59,120 Speaker 2: What do you feel if somebody has anyone ever asked 283 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,360 Speaker 2: you to split the bill or like, what's your take 284 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 2: when people do that on a day? 285 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 1: Look, I know this is not the popular, you know, 286 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 1: kind of climate right now, but I don't think chivalry 287 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: is dead. And for me, I'm raising two sons and 288 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 1: I have taught them to be chivalrous and respectful of women, 289 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 1: and it's really important to me, you know, I'm never 290 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 1: going to be the girl who orders you know, the 291 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: crazy steak or you know, the expensive thing on the menu. 292 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 1: But if somebody's asked me out, I really appreciate when 293 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 1: they pay for my pay for my wine. 294 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 2: I mean, I totally agree to chivalry is not dead. 295 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,400 Speaker 2: I feel like I often like do the pull out 296 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 2: the credit card or offer just so that I know 297 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 2: that you know what I mean, that I'm making the effort. 298 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,200 Speaker 2: But between you and me, if then they take me 299 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 2: up on it, I do, I'm kind of like, oh, 300 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 2: like that's not really Like are you really a gentleman? 301 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 2: And I'm not saying that if you go on multiple 302 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 2: dates with somebody that you don't want to start or 303 00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 2: that I think while you're. 304 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 1: Dating somebody, sure always pay for meals or whatever at. 305 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 2: The beginning beginning. I think it's nice and it does 306 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 2: mean yeah, I agree, and I'm not worrying alone. 307 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: You know, one of the things, you know, you and 308 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:14,080 Speaker 1: I speak a lot about, and you know, I think 309 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 1: sometimes I ask simply too many questions to deflect the 310 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 1: attention off of me, and I get scared of silence 311 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 1: at a table because I don't like bad flow. So 312 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 1: I'm always trying to think, and one of the things 313 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 1: I love to do is ask open ended questions because 314 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:31,239 Speaker 1: you can learn a lot about somebody by the questions 315 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,600 Speaker 1: you ask. I mean super basic questions like where do 316 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 1: you see yourself in five years? And what if they 317 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: were to say like dating lots of people and then 318 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: you're sitting there and you're saying yourself, Okay, this guy's 319 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,680 Speaker 1: a player, Like he's not looking for a life partner, 320 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: he's not looking for long a long term relationship. So 321 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 1: I think that you know, it's always good to go 322 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 1: on a date and have your kind of catchphrase questions 323 00:15:56,360 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 1: that will help you pretty quickly size up who they 324 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 1: are and you know what their core value system is, right, 325 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 1: because ultimately we're trying to chemistry is important, but it's 326 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: really important to say, like, find somebody whose core value 327 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,960 Speaker 1: systems kind of line up with ours. 328 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 2: So question for you when you go out on a 329 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 2: first date with somebody, do you feel like when you 330 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 2: sit down and kind of you probably had a conversation 331 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 2: or two write potentially with them, but when you sit down, 332 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 2: do you feel like within the first five minutes, like, 333 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 2: what is louder to you the chemistry that you're feeling 334 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 2: or lack thereof, or the questions that you're asking them 335 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 2: and their answers like this is so hard. 336 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I grapple with this all the time because 337 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 1: of course we all want that dopamine hit and that 338 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,600 Speaker 1: like instant, like you know what we see in the movies, right, 339 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 1: And I think that I again, like, well, I've read 340 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 1: a lot of books because I'm trying to understand like 341 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 1: who am I, what am I looking for? And what 342 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 1: makes the most sense for quite frankly, why do my 343 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,720 Speaker 1: marriage fail? And why have you know, these relationships that 344 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: I in the last nine years, why haven't they stuck 345 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,280 Speaker 1: or why didn't it go the distance? Like they have 346 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,680 Speaker 1: felt like bridges to me? And what I've learned is 347 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 1: is one thing I used to sit on a date 348 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,479 Speaker 1: and be like, is this my guy? Am I going 349 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,000 Speaker 1: to marry him? Or are we going to ride out 350 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,359 Speaker 1: from too the sense I don't do that anymore. I 351 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 1: sit on my first date and I say, is this 352 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,399 Speaker 1: person interesting enough? Would I go out and have a 353 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,440 Speaker 1: second date with him? And then on the second date 354 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 1: would I go out with them on a third date? 355 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 1: And what that has helped me do is learn to 356 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 1: build a little bit more of a foundation and focus 357 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 1: less on the butterflies, because butterflies are really kind of 358 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 1: like a trigger of something that's potentially familiar in a 359 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:44,000 Speaker 1: way that's triggering to what is your baggage? Right? And 360 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,400 Speaker 1: I think you have to have some degree of attraction 361 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 1: for sure, But I think there is so much more 362 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:55,560 Speaker 1: that is important. And I think attraction you have to 363 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,359 Speaker 1: have some like I don't think it just can I 364 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:00,199 Speaker 1: think it can improve. I think it can grow, but 365 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 1: you have to have some degree of attraction when you're 366 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 1: sitting there. But I think it's like an entire almost pizza, right, 367 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:13,199 Speaker 1: there's like equal slices, a really important thing. So I 368 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 1: think it's a combination of core values, chemistry, communication, connection, 369 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 1: like are you living the same life? 370 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:20,439 Speaker 2: Like? 371 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 1: You know? What I've learned in my dating is I 372 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:24,720 Speaker 1: don't want to be a somebody who's not a parent. 373 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to be somebody's never been married. It 374 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,480 Speaker 1: doesn't work for me. We don't speak the same language. 375 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,679 Speaker 1: Some people might not care. They might not look at 376 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,480 Speaker 1: it like, oh there's no kids, great, there's more time 377 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,600 Speaker 1: for them to focus on me and work around my schedule. 378 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 1: What about you? What do you think how important chemistry 379 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,320 Speaker 1: on the first date for you, well. 380 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:46,080 Speaker 2: I think chemistry is important. Like if I'm absolutely not 381 00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 2: attracted to somebody, you know, it doesn't matter, that's not 382 00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:53,480 Speaker 2: going to change. Although I think people can become more attractive, 383 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,920 Speaker 2: you know, the more you learn about someone. 384 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:56,439 Speaker 1: And their energy. 385 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,840 Speaker 2: No, and I completely agree with that, and we've talked 386 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,440 Speaker 2: about this. I think question we ask ourselves is how 387 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 2: long do you stay in a relationship or how many 388 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 2: dates do you go on before you ultimately either call 389 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,679 Speaker 2: it and decide do I want? Is this how I 390 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 2: want to be spending my time? And I think I 391 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:20,639 Speaker 2: feel like both of us are pretty lucky. You know, 392 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,680 Speaker 2: no one wants to be post divorced, but often post 393 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,199 Speaker 2: divorce I feel like means you're a little bit older 394 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 2: and hopefully a little bit wiser. But we have pretty 395 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 2: good lives, right, I Mean, the reality is we have 396 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 2: such good girlfriends, we love being with our kids, and 397 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,960 Speaker 2: it takes a lot for me to decide do I 398 00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 2: want to break away from all those things to go 399 00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 2: out on a date. But I think a lot of 400 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,680 Speaker 2: the dates that we've gone on, or relationships that I 401 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 2: won't speak for you, but for me, relationships that I've 402 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 2: had we talk back to what you refer to as 403 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,719 Speaker 2: the bridge. And sometimes you get out of a relationship 404 00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 2: and it's super devastating or sad. You kind of wonder 405 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,160 Speaker 2: how you're going to push forward. And sometimes the next 406 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 2: guy that comes along is totally different, but he helps 407 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 2: you kind of look at your life through a different 408 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,400 Speaker 2: lens and move on so and gives you that restart 409 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,040 Speaker 2: right for potentially the next guy. I don't know if 410 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,040 Speaker 2: that makes sense. Does that make sense? 411 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:19,880 Speaker 1: I think for me a lot of times what happens 412 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:23,080 Speaker 1: is is I'll be dating or eye that on paper 413 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 1: is a ten right, like everything I want, you know, 414 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 1: and so I keep going to keep hoping that it's 415 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 1: going to, you know, kind of go to the next 416 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 1: level or I'm going to I remember once I was 417 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 1: dating this guy and he was everything I wanted and 418 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 1: I just wasn't feeling it, but I wanted it so 419 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:47,920 Speaker 1: bad and I kept trying, and I I remember going 420 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 1: to a psychic plus saying can't you do something? Can't 421 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,959 Speaker 1: you do some waving around? So I like wake up 422 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 1: and I'm like hit by a lightning bolt and I'm 423 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:57,160 Speaker 1: in love. 424 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,800 Speaker 2: So I just want to know is this my guy? 425 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 2: Like when I talk to the psychic, I'm more like 426 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,159 Speaker 2: when am I going to meet the guy? Or is 427 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:03,800 Speaker 2: this the guy? 428 00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:04,280 Speaker 3: Right? 429 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: And the thing about a psychic is what it does 430 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 1: is it helps kind of put in your head so 431 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 1: then you're manifesting and you're looking, and you're this, and 432 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:11,760 Speaker 1: you're I mean, we've all played that game because we 433 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 1: want to believe that the right person is coming. But 434 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 1: I think what I've learned is is, you know, there 435 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 1: is value in every date, every experience, and it's all 436 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,359 Speaker 1: kind of building up and what right What might have 437 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 1: been right for me when I was in my twenties 438 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 1: looking for my husband is not right for potentially what 439 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,200 Speaker 1: is for me right now? You know what I'm saying. 440 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 1: But let's go back so again, as you know, like 441 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,919 Speaker 1: I'm I'm a little more difficult when it comes to 442 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 1: certain things on dates, right, like do they walk me 443 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:46,840 Speaker 1: to my car? 444 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:47,199 Speaker 2: Like? 445 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 1: Different things? How do you feel when you make a 446 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 1: date and somebody has to reschedule? Like how does that feel? 447 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,560 Speaker 1: Unless if it's like a weird almost like a weird excuse. 448 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,920 Speaker 2: Well, it's a good question. I have a first story, 449 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,720 Speaker 2: I mean a first tan story I can share with you, 450 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,360 Speaker 2: which I think you may have heard before, but I 451 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:11,200 Speaker 2: feel like I have kids, I have a busy life, 452 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:16,160 Speaker 2: and so I think at this age, if somebody needs 453 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,440 Speaker 2: to reschedule and is polite about it and gives you, 454 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,920 Speaker 2: you know, enough notice, it doesn't have to be crazy notice. 455 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,360 Speaker 2: But the night before then it is what it is. 456 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 2: I mean, maybe I'm disappointed, but the truth is, like 457 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 2: I don't want to be I wouldn't want to be 458 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 2: with somebody that was so rigid and unforgiving in a relationship, 459 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,119 Speaker 2: so I would kind of want to treat them the 460 00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 2: same way. What did they do it a second time? Okay, 461 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,679 Speaker 2: well so this wasn't a second time. But do you 462 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:48,240 Speaker 2: remember that I had a date and it was I mean, 463 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 2: I thought, I know it was like objectively, I think 464 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 2: I had a great date with somebody and we went out. 465 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 2: He was a little bit farther away, so he was 466 00:22:58,119 --> 00:22:59,960 Speaker 2: like an hour and a half away from where I lived. 467 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,639 Speaker 2: So it was always hard for us to schedule dates. 468 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,159 Speaker 2: But maybe we'd had a couple dates and we had 469 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 2: a really great date on like a Friday night, and 470 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 2: this was at a time where he was really busy 471 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 2: and I was. My schedule was crazy for like weeks 472 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,480 Speaker 2: on end. But this date was so good, and we 473 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 2: both at the date, we're like, oh my gosh, we 474 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,440 Speaker 2: totally want to see each other again. Can we figure 475 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,000 Speaker 2: out something? 476 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,320 Speaker 1: Well, distance makes it so challenging. 477 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,720 Speaker 2: Also, that's a totally other subject because I think a 478 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 2: plane ride is actually easier than like an hour drive. 479 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 2: But that's me. But anyway, so Monday, so Sunday we 480 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 2: checked in with each other. We're like, okay, looking forward 481 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,400 Speaker 2: to tomorrow. And I had. 482 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 1: Told and that was on the heels of your first kiss, by. 483 00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,639 Speaker 2: The way, and I had revamped my whole day on 484 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,440 Speaker 2: Monday to accommodate a lunch date, which was like, candidly 485 00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 2: really inconvenient, but it's like, okay, we're both in it, 486 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, Sunday he was great. Monday morning, 487 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,399 Speaker 2: I hadn't heard from him by like ten o'clock, and 488 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 2: I was like, hey, just checking in to see, like 489 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 2: are we meeting halfway? What are we doing? And he's like, 490 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,199 Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. I just found out that I have 491 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,080 Speaker 2: to you know, I can't pick my I have to 492 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,480 Speaker 2: pick up my daughter. I have to do something I 493 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,480 Speaker 2: can't remember. He's like, I can't really make lunch and 494 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 2: here's the deal, Like everybody has things with their kids. 495 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:16,640 Speaker 2: I do understand that, but he had said I thought 496 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,359 Speaker 2: I could swing it, but I was having a trouble 497 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 2: having her time last night figuring it out. And again 498 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:24,920 Speaker 2: things happen, but I did. 499 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 1: But you were bothered because you reached out to him. 500 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,560 Speaker 2: Well, And I was also bothered that, like if he 501 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,560 Speaker 2: thought it was going to be a problem the night before, 502 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,880 Speaker 2: like I understand, just say to me, Hey, I'm kind 503 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 2: of having a hiccup here, I don't know if this 504 00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,520 Speaker 2: is going to happen. But instead he kind of waited 505 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,679 Speaker 2: until the eleventh hour and then he canceled, and I 506 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,800 Speaker 2: remember calling you, remember, and I was so annoyed because 507 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 2: I literally rescheduled like three other things, and I was like, 508 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,040 Speaker 2: I'm going to tell him that's it. And I was 509 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,360 Speaker 2: going to be actually super strong and rude, and you 510 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,680 Speaker 2: even helped me tone it down. Remember I texted him 511 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:57,760 Speaker 2: and I was like, hey, it was. 512 00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 1: A sharp you had a sharp tongue on that one. 513 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like, things come up for everybody, but 514 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,240 Speaker 2: in the future, like if you could, if you could 515 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,240 Speaker 2: have just reached out the night before, I would have appreciated. 516 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,120 Speaker 2: I you know, I rescheduled my day and he said 517 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,239 Speaker 2: something and I just like gave him the thumbs up. 518 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:11,920 Speaker 2: Do you remember that? 519 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,200 Speaker 1: He was like, oh, why, well that nothing like the 520 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,640 Speaker 1: thumbs up that is the biggest Like. 521 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I gave him the thumbs up, which is 522 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,880 Speaker 2: all I really needed to say. And then he never 523 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,680 Speaker 2: called me again, So yeah he did. 524 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 1: That's okay because next but but again, he was somebody 525 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,359 Speaker 1: you met on a dating app, and it goes to 526 00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 1: show you that there are some good people on there. 527 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:38,239 Speaker 1: But what I've learned is whether it's a set up 528 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 1: or a dating app, where there's a will, there's a way, right, 529 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:44,240 Speaker 1: Like the truth of the matter is this is where 530 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 1: he went wrong. Was he didn't get ahead of it 531 00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:48,600 Speaker 1: and call you'd be like, hey, I really want to 532 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 1: do this, like we did have such a great date, 533 00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 1: like I want to throw out another day. That kind 534 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 1: of it kind of went off into the distance. So 535 00:25:55,040 --> 00:26:01,040 Speaker 1: that felt bad, and I don't know, it just lost 536 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 1: its team. 537 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 2: But here's the deal. I know our date was good, 538 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,040 Speaker 2: and nothing happened between our date and me. 539 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,680 Speaker 1: Basically what's happened. But regardless of. 540 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,560 Speaker 2: What happened, I also think that the biggest thing that 541 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,879 Speaker 2: I've learned is like I spoke my truth. I said 542 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,000 Speaker 2: what I felt. If that was not what he wanted 543 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,399 Speaker 2: to hear, well, then he's not my guy. And so 544 00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:23,800 Speaker 2: I really feel like I'm pretty good at this point 545 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 2: to understand that, like if things aren't working out or 546 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,280 Speaker 2: I'm not connecting with somebody, then like just move on. 547 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:45,000 Speaker 1: That's the difference between dating now, you know, kind of 548 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 1: post divorced with kids and versus like when we're just 549 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 1: starting out. And I think that you know, when you're 550 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: in our stage of our lives and we're looking for 551 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,480 Speaker 1: a chapter two, like it has to be totally additive, right, 552 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,800 Speaker 1: Like we're busy, we have children, we have jobs, we 553 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 1: have family, we have friends. We're quite content to stay 554 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 1: home and read a book, right and just like FaceTime 555 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:05,880 Speaker 1: with you. 556 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,919 Speaker 2: And I'm not looking for somebody to give me kids 557 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,880 Speaker 2: or a white picket fence like And I think it's 558 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:16,479 Speaker 2: also like shifting your perspective to find gratitude in that 559 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,639 Speaker 2: instead of desperation. You know what I'm saying, Because I 560 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,159 Speaker 2: think the greatest thing about not being twenty five and 561 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,440 Speaker 2: wondering like am I gonna have a child? And I 562 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,359 Speaker 2: don't want to say anything if people do or don't. 563 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,200 Speaker 2: You know, there are many people probably still wanting to 564 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,639 Speaker 2: have children, but like, I feel like I've already had 565 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:35,240 Speaker 2: a really full life and so I'm happy with my 566 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:39,000 Speaker 2: life and if somebody comes along to compliment it, then great, 567 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 2: but if not, like that's okay too. 568 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,080 Speaker 1: And we've always talked about being golden girls and all 569 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,879 Speaker 1: of us living together and in our kind of you know, 570 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,400 Speaker 1: seventy year old sorority house with like all of our 571 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,440 Speaker 1: fun friends and living and watch you know, we watch 572 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,400 Speaker 1: Bellow's Place back then. Who knows what we'll be watching 573 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,440 Speaker 1: in ten years from now. 574 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 2: And let's be honest, like, sometimes it's more fun. And 575 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,920 Speaker 2: I think that that brings up the comsation about dating 576 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:06,919 Speaker 2: and how about putting yourself out there because I feel 577 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 2: like you it's so funny. Okay, you're kind of upset. 578 00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,160 Speaker 2: You're more obsessed with my dating life than I think 579 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,600 Speaker 2: I am. If we're being. 580 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,200 Speaker 1: Oh well, let's talk about so what have I done? 581 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 2: I mean, okay, well, here's the deal. In fairness, you 582 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 2: are from here, so you get set up all the time. Okay, 583 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,800 Speaker 2: you're always getting set up with people. I am not 584 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:29,160 Speaker 2: from here. I moved here. I really have. I have friends, 585 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 2: but like they're gay or they're my girlfriends. So it's 586 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 2: not like I have a ton of opportunities. I mean 587 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,480 Speaker 2: maybe that's an excuse, but like a ton of opportunities 588 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,000 Speaker 2: to get set up. So you have really been pushing me, 589 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,600 Speaker 2: and I love how you always say to me there's 590 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,400 Speaker 2: no excuse, there's no excuse for you not going. 591 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 1: It doesn't just drop out of sky. 592 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 3: I get it. 593 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 2: But you've been saying to me like you need to 594 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,480 Speaker 2: go on a day a week, A day a week. 595 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 2: I'm like, where do you think I am going to 596 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,480 Speaker 2: procure a day to week? Like, I mean, am I 597 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,240 Speaker 2: asking out the guy? Journy mean at the grocery store? 598 00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 2: I mean, who am I asking out? So I feel 599 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 2: like you've been really pushing me on that, which brings 600 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 2: up the conversation of online dating. And so finally when 601 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,800 Speaker 2: I said to you, there's no way and how that 602 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 2: I'm going to be able to get a guy a 603 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,040 Speaker 2: week to go out on a date with, let alone, 604 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:13,360 Speaker 2: do I want to go out in a day week? 605 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,920 Speaker 2: But I did humor you and say fine, So we 606 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,240 Speaker 2: did start online dating, and I don't. 607 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 1: Know if we should you do let's repeat the week. Yeah. 608 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 2: I don't really feel like this is cat fishing because 609 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 2: it's kind of like, actually, I think it's in everyone's 610 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 2: best interest. But here is here's how we kind of 611 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 2: have made it work for us. 612 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:33,320 Speaker 1: Right. 613 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 2: I feel like online dating is a total drag, and 614 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 2: I feel like people get or at least the reason 615 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:41,840 Speaker 2: I don't like it is. 616 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 1: Told change the lens and look at it as an 617 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:45,760 Speaker 1: opportunity to cast the net win. 618 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 2: I got it in the short term, like it's exhausting, right, Like, 619 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 2: when I get home, I want to do five million 620 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,200 Speaker 2: other things than sit in swape. And I told you that. 621 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,760 Speaker 2: And so here was the compromise, right that we came 622 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,600 Speaker 2: up with. So he came over to my house. When 623 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 2: was it was it election night? When was I don't 624 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,120 Speaker 2: even know when it was. You came over to my house. 625 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:05,880 Speaker 2: We watched TV. 626 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 1: Now I had already started swiping election night. It was 627 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:08,920 Speaker 1: a few days prior. 628 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:15,760 Speaker 2: Okay, So we we mutually approved my pictures. We mutually wrote. 629 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 1: Well, let's talk about the profile for one minute, okay. 630 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: So I feel profiles need to be unique. It needs 631 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,640 Speaker 1: to It's kind of like a kid's essay to call, 632 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,400 Speaker 1: you know, application of college, Like we're all a diamond dozen. 633 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,760 Speaker 1: We like yoga, we like to go out to dinner, 634 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,080 Speaker 1: we like to travel. Like, how are we going to 635 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,440 Speaker 1: set you apart so that when somebody is you know, 636 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,880 Speaker 1: looking at the pictures and then reading the three sentences? Basically, 637 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:45,880 Speaker 1: how are we going to make you memorable? 638 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 2: Oh and and let me say the first pass that 639 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,800 Speaker 2: I took at it, it said what is your dream Sunday? 640 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 2: And I can't remember exactly what I said, but I 641 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:59,160 Speaker 2: said it was boring, something like wake up, go to 642 00:30:59,200 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 2: the gym. 643 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,280 Speaker 1: It was so it was so unmemorable. 644 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,760 Speaker 2: And then and then I was like, you know, maybe 645 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:09,240 Speaker 2: meet friends for brunch, then do some errands, like make 646 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 2: my list for the next week, like for the next 647 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,560 Speaker 2: week so I'm prepared for the week ahead, and rent 648 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 2: watch a movie and go to bend. 649 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 1: I was boring, so I rewrote it. 650 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:21,959 Speaker 2: Boring It's my dream Sunday, like I was authentic. 651 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,720 Speaker 1: I get it. But I changed it up a little 652 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 1: bit and I rewrote it, and uh, we're we are 653 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:33,520 Speaker 1: dating together as we know, So basically, listeners, I am 654 00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:39,480 Speaker 1: doing the online dating for Thelma and what happens is 655 00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:43,000 Speaker 1: is I do the swiping, and then once we are 656 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:46,400 Speaker 1: quot a match, then we do some texting and then 657 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: I give her phone number out and then I call 658 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,560 Speaker 1: her and I say, expect a phone call from this guy. 659 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,160 Speaker 1: Let me know how your first day goes. And it's 660 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,760 Speaker 1: actually been working. We've met really nice people so far. 661 00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,960 Speaker 1: It hasn't been your person, but we are able to 662 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 1: the one day to week. You've had a few breakup 663 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,800 Speaker 1: texts which we've worked on, which we've been fine. 664 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,960 Speaker 2: We should talk about that after the break How do 665 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,160 Speaker 2: you do the breakup text but. 666 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:09,400 Speaker 1: Be super transparent? 667 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 2: It's been actually really it's because here's the fun we're 668 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:15,720 Speaker 2: doing it. Everything is more fun together, so I feel 669 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,280 Speaker 2: like it's not as painful to do it with a friend. 670 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,880 Speaker 2: I also think you could say it's misleading, but heresto, 671 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,320 Speaker 2: I think it only works because you and I have 672 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,520 Speaker 2: very we're both pretty one day, we could show up 673 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 2: on the date together, yeah, and we do laugh. Remember 674 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:31,120 Speaker 2: I was like, what are we going to do if 675 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,400 Speaker 2: you totally fall in love with somebody? And then we 676 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:34,920 Speaker 2: were like, maybe we just both show up together and 677 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,720 Speaker 2: kind of it's a TV show then yeah, So anyway, 678 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 2: it works because we kind of have the same personality 679 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,960 Speaker 2: in certain ways. We also know each other so well, 680 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,040 Speaker 2: so she can answer all of these things. But we 681 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:50,200 Speaker 2: have had some funny texts, like like she drinks coffee. 682 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,840 Speaker 2: I don't drink coffee, and I think if she says 683 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,440 Speaker 2: to one more guy, oh, I'm just sitting having coffee 684 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,360 Speaker 2: because I have been asked out on a lot of 685 00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,480 Speaker 2: coffee dates and I'm like, okay, uh got to stop 686 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,960 Speaker 2: with the coffee because everybody's inviting me out to coffee 687 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,720 Speaker 2: and I don't drink coffee. So We've had a few 688 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,080 Speaker 2: funny things, and I definitely have to always look back 689 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 2: at the profile to be like, Okay, what have we 690 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 2: talked about? 691 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,640 Speaker 1: I told her to put into her contacts on her phone, 692 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,320 Speaker 1: like the person's name and like a little bumble bee. 693 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,560 Speaker 2: Oh, I've got like fifty five bumblebees. And I'm basically 694 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,040 Speaker 2: like a hostess at a restaurant, you know, who always 695 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:27,120 Speaker 2: has to write down like large dark haired man glasses. 696 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,640 Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? With three kids in toe, 697 00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:31,640 Speaker 2: I mean I basically have a note section on my 698 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,160 Speaker 2: phone so that when I get the call, it is 699 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 2: hard between the spam calls that you get the random 700 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 2: now numbers before I actually have entered it into my thing. 701 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:45,560 Speaker 2: It's like I never pick up my phone blindly. Like ever, 702 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,880 Speaker 2: let's talk about though, their profile pictures. 703 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:53,000 Speaker 1: The popcorn ceilings, the tank tops, the muscles. 704 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,760 Speaker 2: So like there's some things that are just obvious nos, right, 705 00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:00,719 Speaker 2: But like, what do you think about when I mean, 706 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,760 Speaker 2: because we both have kids, what do you think about 707 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 2: when a profile has uh, when they have pictures their 708 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:06,960 Speaker 2: kids and their pictures. 709 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:11,080 Speaker 1: Well, look, it's again for me, it's important that whoever 710 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 1: I date has had children, because I have data people 711 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,960 Speaker 1: that don't have kids. So I don't think every picture 712 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,480 Speaker 1: should have kids in it. But I to see a 713 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,640 Speaker 1: picture of them like skiing with their kids, which shows 714 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: me they're a good dad, and they're connected and they're 715 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,960 Speaker 1: doing activities and he has kids. One picture like that, 716 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:29,440 Speaker 1: I like that. Actually, something like that I would be 717 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,080 Speaker 1: more apt to swipe right than not right, because if 718 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,360 Speaker 1: I see a picture of just somebody, just his picture 719 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,920 Speaker 1: of his face or selfies, and I can't tell like 720 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,360 Speaker 1: who is you like, show me what you're interested in, 721 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,360 Speaker 1: show me a part of your life. Then you know 722 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,480 Speaker 1: it's easier for me and you get to sensitize. I 723 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,000 Speaker 1: mean it's like your finger just goes to the left, 724 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,799 Speaker 1: the left, the left is exhausting, then your eyes begin 725 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:50,400 Speaker 1: to dilate. 726 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, if you see like six pictures of 727 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:57,759 Speaker 2: a loner in a bathroom taking selfies with like those 728 00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,319 Speaker 2: awful fluorescensesn't align with. 729 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,240 Speaker 1: What we're looking for or or the kind of person 730 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:01,800 Speaker 1: that we want. 731 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:03,160 Speaker 2: I got it. But we might have to have a 732 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,200 Speaker 2: little talk after this, because I will tell you the 733 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,279 Speaker 2: kids thing. I mean, I'm never gonna put pictures of 734 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:12,440 Speaker 2: my kids online, especially initially, but I also I do 735 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,799 Speaker 2: appreciate if they want to put pictures of their kids, 736 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:19,600 Speaker 2: but for me being in my fifties with older kids, 737 00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:22,480 Speaker 2: like if I see an infant or a toddler in 738 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:27,080 Speaker 2: a picture, it's like, yeah, it's like I don't walk 739 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 2: because I mean not that I don't love kids, but 740 00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 2: like I love my kids. But I'm not done that. Yeah, 741 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,840 Speaker 2: and I'm not looking. I'm not going back to I 742 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,560 Speaker 2: can't talk about how many people, how many people before 743 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:40,640 Speaker 2: we've even gone on a date. If one more guy 744 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,640 Speaker 2: who I literally have had one phone call with or 745 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,719 Speaker 2: one text with sends me pictures with his children before 746 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,319 Speaker 2: I've even met him. It's like, where do they think 747 00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,680 Speaker 2: that this is hot? It's just it's so not And 748 00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:54,640 Speaker 2: I don't know if they think that women think it's 749 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:56,799 Speaker 2: endearing that they have children. I'm like, I know you 750 00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:58,799 Speaker 2: have kids, but I don't even know you. So one, 751 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,040 Speaker 2: don't try to pimp out your kids to me. And two, 752 00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,200 Speaker 2: I'm not like, I don't want to play mom. I 753 00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:03,960 Speaker 2: just want to date you. 754 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 1: But also we're not interested in meeting somebody's kids right away, 755 00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:10,279 Speaker 1: Like I have really strong I totally do. I've been 756 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:12,839 Speaker 1: you know, divorced for nine years and I've dated a lot, 757 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:17,640 Speaker 1: and my kids have met one person, and I you know, 758 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,799 Speaker 1: we've been dating, and I figured, you know, at this point, 759 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,480 Speaker 1: you know, my kids, I think really want me to 760 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:24,360 Speaker 1: find a good person. So I thought it was stored 761 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,239 Speaker 1: that you're home alone with important that well, I'm on 762 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,360 Speaker 1: three sixty still, so they see them out all the time, 763 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,000 Speaker 1: but that they that So I introduced them to somebody, 764 00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:36,279 Speaker 1: as you know, and you know, they didn't really like him. 765 00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,080 Speaker 1: And quite frankly, I've learned that none of my friends 766 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,279 Speaker 1: don't even liked him. So what do we do if 767 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,719 Speaker 1: your kids and your friends disapprove with somebody that you're enjoying. 768 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:48,440 Speaker 1: But I usually now, because that thing went up in flames, 769 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,799 Speaker 1: I think it's good that my kids met somebody at 770 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,759 Speaker 1: six months. It was not like a month. I think 771 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:54,880 Speaker 1: it's very strange when somebody wants you to meet their 772 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,720 Speaker 1: kids within a month, as if they're trying to slot 773 00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,320 Speaker 1: in a new mommy or something. But I did six months, 774 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,600 Speaker 1: and you know, I thought that was appropriate because we 775 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:07,360 Speaker 1: are clearly exclusive. But now I'm going to think twice 776 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:10,040 Speaker 1: because you know, at this point, like my kids aren't 777 00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,759 Speaker 1: even home. I mean, they're in college, They're on to 778 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 1: their next their next chapter. So I'm not rushing it 779 00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:19,200 Speaker 1: anytime soon. I wanted the next person that my kids 780 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,640 Speaker 1: meet because this thing did not go well, it's going 781 00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:23,440 Speaker 1: to be somebody I pretty much know I'm going to 782 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,880 Speaker 1: end up with. Like I love being by children. I 783 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,759 Speaker 1: don't need a Brady budget, right, Like, I don't need 784 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:30,279 Speaker 1: to have this guy my kids all the time on 785 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,920 Speaker 1: the you know, rare nights that I even have them 786 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:36,440 Speaker 1: home anymore. So it's going to be even further apart 787 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:37,120 Speaker 1: when I do that. 788 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,719 Speaker 2: I think, in my mind, well, my ex husband I 789 00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:43,360 Speaker 2: both said like six months, and I think he waited 790 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,560 Speaker 2: three years when he was with somebody, so like he 791 00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:50,040 Speaker 2: was super respectful, and I think for me, I feel 792 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,680 Speaker 2: like six months is kind of the minimum for me. 793 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:57,719 Speaker 2: But more so it's I won't introduce anyone to my 794 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:01,560 Speaker 2: kids unless I see a potential future with them, because 795 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,120 Speaker 2: I just don't think it's worth it. Ay, it's kind 796 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,880 Speaker 2: of my private life, and I don't know if I 797 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,920 Speaker 2: don't ever think it's going to actually impact them, then, Like, 798 00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:11,400 Speaker 2: there are a lot of days I don't have my children, 799 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:13,760 Speaker 2: so I don't need to introduce somebody to my kids, 800 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:17,160 Speaker 2: you know. I also think sometimes they are wondering what 801 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,200 Speaker 2: you're doing. So if it starts to be this one 802 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,560 Speaker 2: thing where you're with somebody all the time, I definitely 803 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:24,360 Speaker 2: like familiarize them with the idea. 804 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,640 Speaker 1: I tell my kids when I'm dating somebody. But I 805 00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,799 Speaker 1: say them, I'm not going to sit you down at 806 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,040 Speaker 1: a table with them until I know that this is 807 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,680 Speaker 1: going to go, you know, the distance or somewhat of 808 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,160 Speaker 1: a distance. Like, but I do tell my kids what 809 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:38,400 Speaker 1: I'm doing, like I AlwaysOn. 810 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,799 Speaker 2: I said to my last boyfriend six months, and then 811 00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:46,360 Speaker 2: six months came. It passed then it like eight months, 812 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:49,120 Speaker 2: ten months, and then he started being like, this is 813 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,400 Speaker 2: really weird. I want to meet your children, And I think. 814 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,080 Speaker 1: That was kind of addicative of what I know. 815 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,000 Speaker 2: But I finally after a year, did it. But it 816 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,760 Speaker 2: was also because it was long distance, and I feel 817 00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:00,560 Speaker 2: like we always met, you know, so my kids were 818 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,319 Speaker 2: going to be there, we were going to have to 819 00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,799 Speaker 2: sleep in the same house with this person. And I'm 820 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,279 Speaker 2: just super private about that with my kids, Like your 821 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,440 Speaker 2: kids don't want to envision you actually having a romantic life, 822 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:12,279 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. 823 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,960 Speaker 1: It's just I mean, you know, it's amazing some there 824 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:18,759 Speaker 1: are This topic is endless. I mean, we could do 825 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,880 Speaker 1: nine thousand questions and like go on and on because 826 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,360 Speaker 1: we have so much experience. And I think what I 827 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,080 Speaker 1: find we're spreshing about always talking to you is a 828 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:31,400 Speaker 1: we're not we're not in this alone and it's ever changing, 829 00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:35,879 Speaker 1: and you know, I don't know, like it's just such 830 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:39,479 Speaker 1: a connecting with people and meeting people and will life 831 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:43,600 Speaker 1: is right. It's relationships, it's friendships, it's you know, relationships, 832 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:47,120 Speaker 1: it's dates, it's relationships with our children or whatever it is. 833 00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,520 Speaker 1: But I don't know, I feel like I love talking 834 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,560 Speaker 1: to you, and I feel like, you know, always up 835 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:54,239 Speaker 1: to answer people's questions or have these like kind of 836 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:58,320 Speaker 1: you know girls, girls chats about dating and navigating dating, 837 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,000 Speaker 1: and I don't know, like I'm I'm glad we're in 838 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,560 Speaker 1: this together, and I do love that I we're dating 839 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:07,560 Speaker 1: literally together. I appreciate it. 840 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,919 Speaker 2: And I mean basically, when or if I finally ever 841 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,560 Speaker 2: do get a boyfriend off of our online dating experience, 842 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,600 Speaker 2: I feel like, oh, I'm speaking at the wedding. I know, well, no, 843 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,239 Speaker 2: we're walking down the aisle together, aren't we? Oh? 844 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:23,480 Speaker 1: Yes? Oh yes? So anything else left to say? And 845 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,960 Speaker 1: we'll come back another time and ask a million other 846 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,960 Speaker 1: things like asking a on a first date for a 847 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,719 Speaker 1: second date. Is that a red flag? Or all of 848 00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:33,560 Speaker 1: that stuff? Or do you text the next day to 849 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:37,480 Speaker 1: say thank you? I don't all those different things. It's 850 00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:40,120 Speaker 1: you know, dating at twenty, dating at fifty. It's it's 851 00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:43,279 Speaker 1: still dating, right, and everybody wants to love and be 852 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:44,600 Speaker 1: loved and find a person. 853 00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,839 Speaker 2: I don't know. You might be my person, you might 854 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,200 Speaker 2: be my personally by way. 855 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:50,879 Speaker 1: I'd be okay with that. Like you know me, There's 856 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,359 Speaker 1: been many times that I've been dating somebody where When 857 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:54,920 Speaker 1: you call to say what are you doing that? I 858 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:56,880 Speaker 1: wish I could, you know, cancel my date and go 859 00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:58,800 Speaker 1: out to dinner with you, even if it's just sitting 860 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:02,200 Speaker 1: at home and watching TikTok and ordering good kitchen. 861 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,880 Speaker 2: Totally agree, So let's plan our date for tonight. 862 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:10,280 Speaker 1: Okay, what are you gonna where? Thank you? Say bye. 863 00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:15,560 Speaker 3: Hey, It's Jenny Garth. Thanks Thelma and Louise for that 864 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:20,320 Speaker 3: fun takeover. If you are a single and want dating advice, 865 00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:23,440 Speaker 3: or if you're ready to find love again, we want 866 00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:27,440 Speaker 3: to get to know you. Call us. The number is 867 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:31,680 Speaker 3: one eight four four four I Do Pod. That's one 868 00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:36,399 Speaker 3: eight four four four four three six seven sixty three 869 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:41,160 Speaker 3: or email us at ID pod at iHeartRadio dot com, 870 00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:44,359 Speaker 3: follow us on Instagram and TikTok at I Do Part 871 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,080 Speaker 3: two pod. All of this information will be in the 872 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,280 Speaker 3: show notes. Make sure to rate and review the podcast 873 00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:53,200 Speaker 3: I Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcast where falling in 874 00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:54,880 Speaker 3: love is the main objective. 875 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:00,680 Speaker 1: On three