1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:05,000 Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rat An iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we're scrubbing in. It's a Thursday. 3 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 3: It's a Thursday. Actually have a clinical update hit me. 4 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 3: So ever since I turned thirty, everybody's been telling me 5 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,639 Speaker 3: to get my eggs checked, freeze your eggs. Everybody just 6 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 3: likes to tell you what to do. And I never 7 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,520 Speaker 3: really looked into it or thought about it for a while, 8 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 3: and then I recently realized, you know, it's not a 9 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 3: bad idea to kind of just like take a look 10 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 3: see what's going on down there. So I made an 11 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:39,879 Speaker 3: appointment with this fertility specialist and had an appointment via FaceTime. 12 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 3: The first one was via like FaceTime with the doctor 13 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 3: and he gave me like a lot of information, and 14 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 3: then I went in and actually had them like count 15 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 3: they like put an ultrasound that you do an ultrasound, 16 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 3: They like count the eggs in your ovaras and like 17 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 3: examine things. Let me tell you for anybody that has 18 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 3: gone through the IVF experience, because that's basically what I 19 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 3: signing up for. Without signing up for it, it's like 20 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,320 Speaker 3: the initial it's like the protocol that you do to 21 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 3: start the IVF process, or. 22 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 2: You don't about to freeze your eggs. 23 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 3: Freezer eggs or freeze embryos, or either of those. It 24 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 3: is such a a I can't even tell you what 25 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 3: it did to me mentally, because I, you know, I 26 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 3: thought I was gonna do it, and I got great news. 27 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 3: I have a lot of healthy era. They can't really 28 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 3: tell you if it's healthy, but I have a lot 29 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 3: of eggs, and I have a good uterus, and my 30 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 3: lining is whatever way the good way is. I don't 31 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 3: know if it's thick or thin, but I had a 32 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,760 Speaker 3: good report card. And yet there's something about somebody telling you, like, 33 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,760 Speaker 3: if you don't plan on having children within the next 34 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 3: three years, you should really do X y Z. And 35 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 3: then you start looking into it and it's injections and 36 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 3: it's birth control, and it's hormones and it's invasive, and 37 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 3: I was like, really mentally not in a good place 38 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 3: after that appointment. It was really weird because I thought 39 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 3: it was gonna give me like peace of mind, and 40 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 3: in a weird way, it did. But also it just 41 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 3: makes you feel a certain way. And I feel like 42 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 3: I've heard so many women that have gone through the 43 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 3: IVF process, and I just wanted to share if anybody's 44 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 3: gone through that that. Uh, I have a sort of 45 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:14,079 Speaker 3: empathy and a sort of that I've never had before 46 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 3: because it really was a very weird mental space that 47 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:20,080 Speaker 3: it took me to. 48 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's a well, I think there's. 49 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 4: Both feelings because it's you have you got a good 50 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 4: report card, you got good news. But then it's like, 51 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 4: also there's a time frame, yeah, and so like you 52 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 4: have if you're gonna you know, in this amount of time, 53 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 4: this is when you should be thinking about it, and 54 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 4: that is. 55 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:45,240 Speaker 2: Was like, there's weird comforting news. 56 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 4: Because you can't slow down time, Like time is not 57 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 4: in your control at all. So like to know that 58 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 4: you're on a time limit for something that's so personal 59 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,639 Speaker 4: and like vulnerable. 60 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 2: Is uh, it's I get where that's not comforting. 61 00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's weird because I also think too, it's like 62 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 3: you know, when God puts some in your heart, it 63 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,400 Speaker 3: was you know He's gonna see it through, and so 64 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 3: you kind of I kind of take control away from me, 65 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,480 Speaker 3: you know, because I feel like it's something that's meant 66 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,800 Speaker 3: for me and something I was put on my heart. 67 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 3: So I feel like it's gonna happen in a way 68 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 3: that it's supposed to happen, but when you come out 69 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 3: of that appointment, it's such a weird. Like I was 70 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,399 Speaker 3: in such a weird headspace and like Red Star could 71 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 3: not have been more comforting and loving and like it 72 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 3: was really just like let's talk about this and you know, 73 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 3: like because there's just like so many different things to 74 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 3: think about, you know, and it was just it was 75 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 3: very heavy, and I just felt like, you know, a 76 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 3: lot of people go through this process and I haven't 77 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 3: really heard many people in my life talk about it 78 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 3: much mm hm. And so yeah, it was weird. It 79 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,120 Speaker 3: was a weird day. 80 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, And I do think I, on the I always 81 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 4: had the mindset of, like, if you have the desire 82 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 4: and then God will fulfill that. But I don't think 83 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 4: it always happens the way that like we expect it to, 84 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 4: because I like, if I were someone who was had 85 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 4: a belief in God and like had a relationship with 86 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 4: God and I had that desire and I was struggling 87 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 4: to get pregnant or get you know, have that experience 88 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 4: the way I always imagined it to be, then I 89 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,360 Speaker 4: would feel like I had done something wrong that like 90 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 4: my desire wasn't enough for God to fulfill that promise. 91 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 4: I guess so I think it doesn't mean. Sometimes I 92 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:28,159 Speaker 4: think life shifts and you shift with it, and I 93 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 4: think there's so many ways to be a parent, there's 94 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 4: so many ways to have a family and to have 95 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 4: a baby, and if it is not happening for you 96 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 4: the way that you expected it to, like, it's okay 97 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:44,480 Speaker 4: to be discouraged and not, you know, be sad about 98 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 4: that because I think a lot of people struggle with 99 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:47,280 Speaker 4: it and don't talk about. 100 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 2: That reality as much. Yeah, but I. 101 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:56,479 Speaker 4: Think the miracle of life is so mind blowing that 102 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 4: our bodies are capable of doing that and like through 103 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 4: all their for ages that we are so strong and 104 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 4: able to do that. 105 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 2: So but I'm glad you got good news. Thank you. Yeah, 106 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm. 107 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 5: I don't know. 108 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 2: I'm like sitting here going should I do that? But 109 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 2: I don't know. 110 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I have no idea. I don't 111 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 3: even I would normally like encourage you to you know, 112 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,479 Speaker 3: knowledge is power and knowing is better than not, but 113 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know. 114 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 2: I shut up. 115 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,720 Speaker 3: It really shook me up. I'm in a little bit 116 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 3: of a mental pickle, so yeah, I don't know. 117 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:35,039 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I think there's so many ways of 118 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 4: how technology has progressed that's really cool, and that we 119 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 4: are able to have so much more information than we've 120 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 4: ever been able to have. And at the same time, 121 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,440 Speaker 4: it's sometimes one of those things where you almost wonder, 122 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 4: is is that better for our mental state? Like is 123 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:54,839 Speaker 4: it better the options? 124 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:55,279 Speaker 6: Right? 125 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 4: But it's amazing what they can do now with technology. 126 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:03,479 Speaker 4: It's incredible. But yeah, that's good. I do think that 127 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,839 Speaker 4: there is as I'm in getting towards my mid thirties 128 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:13,159 Speaker 4: and kind of indecisive of like kids, unfortunately, there's time 129 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 4: frame that's moving forward, whether I like while I'm indecisive. 130 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,479 Speaker 3: You know what's interesting though, this doctor really put me 131 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,479 Speaker 3: at ease because everybody told me, you know, when you 132 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 3: turn thirty your eggs go into half or whatever, and 133 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 3: like he made me feel as though I was young. 134 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 3: He was like, you're thirty four, Y're good. He's like, 135 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,359 Speaker 3: I'm sure I'm gonna count this many on this side, 136 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 3: this many on this side, if we're in that ballpark, 137 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 3: like you're good, and made me feel about that. 138 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 2: Now, thirty is when things. 139 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, apparently it's like, so when you're in your twenties 140 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 3: you have this amount or whatever. And then I'm not 141 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 3: a doctor, so don't quote me on this, but it 142 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 3: was something like, if you're trying in your twenties, you're 143 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:54,279 Speaker 3: like ninety five percent gonna you know, if you're healthy 144 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 3: all things, you know, considered, it only drops to like 145 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 3: eighty five to ninety percent when you're thirty. When you 146 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 3: turn forty, when there's like the big drop. 147 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 4: Oh gotcha. Yeah, we should have like a fertility specialist. 148 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:06,919 Speaker 4: Come on, that'd be interesting. 149 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 3: It is an interesting I mean I learned a lot 150 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 3: in that in my first face time with him, that 151 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 3: it was just like freezing eggs versus freezing embryos and 152 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 3: how that whole process works. It's very interesting. I don't 153 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 3: know what our listeners be interested in hearing that. 154 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 4: No, yeah, let us know if it's interested in hearing 155 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 4: more about that. Yeah, we have a guest today and 156 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 4: I'm really excited about our interview and for y'all to 157 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 4: listen to it. 158 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 2: She's an author. 159 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 4: Her name's Christine Carlson, and she's written so many books, 160 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 4: but she writes has written a lot about grief and 161 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 4: how to live life after losing someone, and I think 162 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 4: it's one of those things where you don't like, you 163 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 4: can't write about something like that unless you've gone through it, 164 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 4: and everyone has a different experience. But I'm really excited 165 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 4: for y'all to hear our interview because she is amazing. 166 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 3: And the main topic is don't sweat the small stuff, 167 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 3: and I am a person that sweats all the small stuff. 168 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 3: So I think we've a lot to learn from her. 169 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,120 Speaker 2: I know, I think everyone does. 170 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 4: So we're going to take a break and we'll be 171 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 4: back with that interview. So we have a very special 172 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 4: guest on the podcast today. We have Christine Carlson joining us. 173 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 4: She is an author and her movie is made into 174 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 4: a Lifetime movie, so she is scrubbing in today and 175 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,679 Speaker 4: please welcome Christine Carlson. 176 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 5: Hey everyone, are you okay? 177 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 3: So I find this to be a little bit serendipitous 178 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 3: because so it's November and this is kind of the 179 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 3: time of year where I start thinking about my vision 180 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 3: board for twenty twenty two, so I'm like preparing for 181 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,959 Speaker 3: January and just kind of new dreams and things like that. 182 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,720 Speaker 3: And you happen to be something that's going to be 183 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,200 Speaker 3: on my twenty twenty two vision board, which is a 184 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 3: New York Times bestselling author. 185 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, what is your book going to be about? 186 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 5: I can't wait to hear about it. 187 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. You know, it's going to be 188 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,319 Speaker 3: about a lot. It's going to be about a lot 189 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,199 Speaker 3: of things, but mostly about hope. 190 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 5: All right, I'm big in that category. 191 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:23,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, wait, tell me, so, how does it? How do 192 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,319 Speaker 3: you become a New York Times best selling author? I 193 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 3: feel like it's a lengthy answer. 194 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 5: But basically, you just have to go out there and, 195 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 5: you know, put your whole heart and soul into your book, 196 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,839 Speaker 5: be very raw and real, resonate with your tribe, and 197 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 5: hit the ground running and promote, promote, promote, promote, promote. 198 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 5: How does let everyone know about it? 199 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 4: I mean, I feel like writing a book is one 200 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 4: of the most vulnerable things you can do, because it 201 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 4: is like there is this vulnerability and rawness that you 202 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 4: have to bring into writing a book because you're not 203 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,400 Speaker 4: visually seeing something. I mean, your story actually came to 204 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 4: life in the form of a movie. But you know, 205 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 4: for most people you're reading the book, you're picturing it, 206 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 4: so you have to almost reveal these details that maybe 207 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 4: you've never even talked about with your friends and like 208 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 4: just open yourself up. 209 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,200 Speaker 2: What is that process like, especially with your book? 210 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:21,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, Well, interestingly, I work with a partner, Deborah Evans, 211 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 5: and we have a business called bookdoulas dot com, and 212 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:28,559 Speaker 5: we actually help people write their books. And one of 213 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 5: the things that we really teach people is how to 214 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 5: write your story for not just first of all, like 215 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 5: writing is very healing. So if you write for yourself 216 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 5: to heal yourself and you don't think about the fact 217 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 5: that anybody's ever going to read it, almost like writing 218 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:51,560 Speaker 5: in your diary, it turns out to be something that 219 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 5: is a stream of like total consciousness that's connected to 220 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 5: your heart. And then you can go back and edit 221 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 5: that work and you know, change whatever you need to 222 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 5: change to make it flow properly, to create a structure 223 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:09,320 Speaker 5: and so forth. But I find that I write, you 224 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,680 Speaker 5: find your best writing place first of all. Like I 225 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 5: tend to write for my bed, and so that's my 226 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,080 Speaker 5: best place. I write on Richard's side of the bed. 227 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 5: That's my late husband, who was a really big time writer. 228 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,080 Speaker 5: I still say I'm an apprentice writer compared to the 229 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:28,720 Speaker 5: way he wrote in his lifetime. So but you, you know, 230 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,680 Speaker 5: find your best writing place in your best writing time, 231 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 5: and then you allow yourself to be in it fully. 232 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 5: And I like to say a prayer, and my prayer 233 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,319 Speaker 5: is divine light and love, play me as an instrument 234 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 5: in your finely tuned orchestra of life. I love. 235 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:46,319 Speaker 3: And when I. 236 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,200 Speaker 5: When I do that, I tend to like open up 237 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 5: my consciousness and it takes all the pressure off me. 238 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 5: It says to my ego, Bye bye ego. It's not 239 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 5: about you. 240 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 3: You know, for people that are listening, can you explain 241 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,960 Speaker 3: kind of what benefit they'll they'll get from reading Don't 242 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 3: Sweat the small Stuff? Because I want to really dig 243 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 3: into that, because just that in itself, don't sweat the 244 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 3: small stuff. I need to ask you a lot of 245 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 3: questions about that, but like how do you do that? 246 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 4: Oh? 247 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 5: Yeah, how do you not sweat the small stuff? Yeah? Well, 248 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 5: I mean the thing is, like it's really a life 249 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 5: practice not to sweat the small stuff. And everyone the 250 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 5: reason why it was so popular is everyone sweats everything 251 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,679 Speaker 5: all the time. And you know, as you grow up 252 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 5: and you become a grown up, you're like lots of 253 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 5: small stuff comes up. Then you have kids, and you 254 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 5: have even more small stuff that you're sweating. So we 255 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 5: we taught and teach I teach five principles of happiness, 256 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 5: and these principles of happiness are woven throughout the whole 257 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 5: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff book series. And there are 258 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 5: nine books in the series now that are really niche, 259 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 5: niche kind of books for different categories of people, but 260 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 5: they all have one thing in common, and that is 261 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 5: how not to let the little things take over what 262 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,400 Speaker 5: matters most to you. And they're just full of a 263 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,199 Speaker 5: lot of wisdom. But the principles are about understanding your 264 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:10,240 Speaker 5: thoughts and how powerful your thoughts are, Understanding your moods, 265 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 5: and how not to look at life the same. You 266 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 5: know that life is different in a low mood versus 267 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 5: a high mood. Understand your feelings, how your feelings are present, 268 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 5: and you don't have to, like positive think your way 269 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 5: out of your feelings. Your feelings will just come and 270 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:30,120 Speaker 5: go like the weather, like clouds in the sky. Understand 271 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 5: separate realities, meaning like even as close as the two 272 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,440 Speaker 5: of you are, I'm sure you've noticed at different times 273 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:41,960 Speaker 5: you see your lives through different lenses, and so you're 274 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 5: in your own separate reality. No matter who you are 275 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 5: or how close you are, you're always seeing life through 276 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 5: your own individual lens. And then the power of really 277 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,199 Speaker 5: living super presently. 278 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 3: Oh, that's. 279 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:03,960 Speaker 5: The Humdinger. I'm talking about vision for twenty two. That's 280 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,560 Speaker 5: the moment to moment choice. It's not just a one 281 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 5: time choice. It's a practice and practice living presently. It 282 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 5: sounds really easy. Oh, I'm just going to live presently, 283 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,360 Speaker 5: but it really isn't. It's about training your mind to 284 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 5: be where you are, not where you want to be 285 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 5: or where you were, but right here, right now. 286 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 3: I'm glad. 287 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 2: Do you do that? 288 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 5: That's called again like it is. It's a practice, and 289 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,440 Speaker 5: I think you know, there's a lot of different tools 290 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:39,520 Speaker 5: that you can put into play. Meditation is one gratitude practice. 291 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:44,000 Speaker 5: When you spend a moment tuning into your gratitude. I 292 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 5: teach what I call the Golden Pause, and that's where 293 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 5: I take you into a guided imagery where we tune 294 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:55,840 Speaker 5: into gratitude for just three minutes. So there's these you know, 295 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 5: just whenever you get into your breath. That's why yoga 296 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 5: so vastly popular. Whenever you're in your breath and you're 297 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 5: really focused on your breath, in your body. You're present 298 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 5: when you take that out into the world. And it's 299 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 5: just a training, you know, it's to notice when you're 300 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:18,560 Speaker 5: not present, bring your attention back right to the center, 301 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 5: the vertical place in you, which is right here, right now. 302 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 5: And that's what it is. It is just a constant practice, 303 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 5: and you get better and better and better at it. 304 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 5: And you know, I always say, like there's one thing 305 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 5: about grief, and that is that when you're really heartbroken, 306 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 5: or like you're in labor with a baby, you're really present, 307 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 5: or you're scaling a mountain and you're in danger, or 308 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 5: you're in a car accident. Have you ever noticed, like 309 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,280 Speaker 5: when you're having an almost accident or an accident, things 310 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 5: just slow completely down. It's because you've gotten really, really present. 311 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 5: And that's how time is. Time is much slower in 312 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 5: the present moment. And let me tell you all this 313 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 5: technology stuff that we do, you know, and I'm just 314 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,560 Speaker 5: as bad as everyone else, you know, on our phones, 315 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 5: and you know, we're not present when we're doing that. 316 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,720 Speaker 5: So it's not a good practice for being present. I know. 317 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,960 Speaker 4: It's a really hard it's really hard with all the 318 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 4: distractions on our phone and like, we have so many 319 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 4: things that are trying to capture our attention, and it's 320 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,080 Speaker 4: hard to just like look up and slow down and 321 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 4: not be thinking about what you have to do or 322 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 4: what's next, or how you're gonna deal with whatever. When 323 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 4: you wrote your book after your husband passed away, was 324 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 4: was that probably like the most vulnerable and raw thing 325 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 4: you've ever because you could you basically, I would imagine, 326 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 4: are opening these wounds that you're healing from. But it's 327 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 4: also got to be a healing process to to write 328 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 4: about it and share about it. 329 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 5: Yeah. So there's there's two books that I've written on 330 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 5: healing from heartbreak. One was One Is where the Lifetime 331 00:16:56,160 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 5: movie came in. They bought the rights to Heartbroken Open 332 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:04,359 Speaker 5: and a memoir through Loss to self Discovery. I've since 333 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 5: changed the subtitle I've come out with it in paperback, 334 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 5: which it's Coming Alive Again after Profound Loss, But they're 335 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 5: both true. The memoir came right out of my journal, 336 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 5: which so it was extremely raw and it was the 337 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:24,320 Speaker 5: most vulnerable time in mine and my daughter's lives. But 338 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,920 Speaker 5: because of that, you know, I could never go back 339 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 5: and write that book like that again because it was 340 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 5: so much a part of my own healing. That That's 341 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 5: why I think it has a profound effect on the 342 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 5: people that read it, because they feel that sense of companionship, 343 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 5: like they're not alone. Because some of the really hardest 344 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 5: times in our lives are that way, because we feel 345 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 5: very isolated and alone in our pain and suffering. So 346 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,000 Speaker 5: I really put that out there because also there was 347 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 5: so much being a young widow, being only forty three 348 00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:00,239 Speaker 5: when my husband died. There were so many things I 349 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 5: was going through that I just didn't feel like the 350 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 5: world spoke to it at that time fifteen years ago. 351 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 5: So yeah, I feel like that was a very pioneering 352 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 5: kind of book to write. 353 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, I've always thought just people who are close to 354 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,479 Speaker 4: me who have lost loved ones, and that feeling of 355 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,439 Speaker 4: that instant feeling of feeling like everyone's there and showing 356 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:24,919 Speaker 4: up for you. 357 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 2: They're there for you know, a certain. 358 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 4: Amount of time, and then it's it feels like all 359 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,639 Speaker 4: of a sudden, everyone's lives continue and it's not in 360 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 4: a way that is trying to leave anyone behind or 361 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 4: make you feel isolated, but everyone just moves on with 362 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,239 Speaker 4: their life and you're stuck in this hole of like 363 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,640 Speaker 4: I don't get to leave this feeling, and I think 364 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 4: only people who have been through that can can relate 365 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:51,639 Speaker 4: to that. And there's something really tragic and beautiful all 366 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 4: at once about that feeling. 367 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 2: But you writing about that and people even though. 368 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 4: You're fifteen years removed from that initial feeling. 369 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 2: What I've heard about grief and that. 370 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 4: Loss is that the grief stays the same and time 371 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 4: grows around it. But like the grief never shrinks, is 372 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,400 Speaker 4: what I've always been told, Like the feeling of that 373 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,760 Speaker 4: loss never shrinks, but like time grows around it. And 374 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 4: I think it's really beautiful that you wrote something that 375 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 4: people can relate to when they feel that sense of 376 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:23,560 Speaker 4: loneliness or isolation in such a horrible time. 377 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,440 Speaker 5: It's like good, Yeah, I mean, I like to think 378 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 5: of grief as a different kind of feeling now. I mean, 379 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 5: there's grief changes a lot over time, and because you 380 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 5: do heal, you know, grief comes, and I you know, 381 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,680 Speaker 5: I'm not sure that that's been my total experience of grief. 382 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,440 Speaker 5: I mean, I think what happens is I'm much more 383 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 5: easily triggered in my grief now than I ever would 384 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:53,919 Speaker 5: have been, because my body remembers what grief is. And like, 385 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 5: I just recently lost one of my soul sisters, like 386 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,119 Speaker 5: the two of you, like we grew up together, and 387 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,720 Speaker 5: she died of cancer recently, and it was just it's 388 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:08,119 Speaker 5: heartbreaking to me. And I've just noticed that grief is 389 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 5: a much more central located feeling for me now I 390 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 5: can touch on it, but I also can leave it too, 391 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 5: because my whole understanding of what death is has completely 392 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:23,200 Speaker 5: changed through losing my husband, and because I do see 393 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,679 Speaker 5: that we really do heal from those losses, and to 394 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,879 Speaker 5: believe anything different is to hold ourselves back. That I 395 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:34,679 Speaker 5: don't really think that we're in grief forever, because grief 396 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:38,200 Speaker 5: and love are not the same things. Love it brings 397 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 5: us out into the world in a healed place, and 398 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:42,959 Speaker 5: grief takes us inward on the inward journey. And I 399 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:46,800 Speaker 5: just don't think we're meant to grieve forever. Of course, 400 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 5: we experience our loss forever, we miss our loved one 401 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 5: forever in this life, but then we learn how to 402 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 5: continue that relationship with them and carry them forward in life. 403 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 5: And I do a lot of work with widows and widowers, 404 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,960 Speaker 5: and I really encourage them to think of it that way. 405 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,640 Speaker 5: When I lost my husband, I lost the man who 406 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 5: was everything to me. He was every relationship, he was 407 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 5: the most wonderful man, and I knew he was my person. 408 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 5: So I also knew instinctively that I had to live 409 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,040 Speaker 5: for both of us, that there was so much more 410 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 5: life left in me, and that I had to heal 411 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,199 Speaker 5: and I had to live for both of us, and 412 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 5: then I would continue to carry on for him but 413 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:35,800 Speaker 5: also with him. 414 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:41,680 Speaker 2: So yeah, that's I can't. 415 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,919 Speaker 3: It's like so hard for me because I think, you know, 416 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,639 Speaker 3: sometimes when you I mean, I've never had to experience 417 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,199 Speaker 3: anything like that, and I feel like when you go 418 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,359 Speaker 3: through a breakup, you it almost feels like a loss, 419 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,080 Speaker 3: you know, because that person was so desight in your 420 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,720 Speaker 3: life and then they're just gone, but they're not really gone, 421 00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 3: but they're gone from your life. So I can't even 422 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,920 Speaker 3: imagine then the amount of pain. 423 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:02,840 Speaker 5: You know. 424 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,359 Speaker 3: Sometimes I feel like after breakup, you can't even pick 425 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 3: yourself out of bed, and so I just I really 426 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 3: commend what you do and what you've done, because I 427 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 3: imagine it's probably hard to kind of, you know, kind 428 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 3: of keep chipping away at that and talking about it 429 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,720 Speaker 3: and kind of like reliving that and. 430 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 5: So, yeah, well, when you talk about you know, hope, 431 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,480 Speaker 5: you know, and encouragement. One of the things that I've 432 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:30,160 Speaker 5: realized is that it's really incredibly difficult to take advice 433 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,880 Speaker 5: or have hope with somebody who hasn't gone through what 434 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,880 Speaker 5: you've been through, you know. So as a person who 435 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,439 Speaker 5: has healed and who is living a very whole life 436 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,680 Speaker 5: again and I'm out of heartbreak, I can hold that 437 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 5: light out for other people and I can show them, yes, 438 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:51,520 Speaker 5: it is possible. You can choose not just to survive 439 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,159 Speaker 5: your losses, but you can choose to really thrive, and 440 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:58,359 Speaker 5: really thrive in a very beautiful way and return to 441 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:02,080 Speaker 5: having a truly beautiful life of joy. And you know, 442 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 5: this was always my hope. It took a long time. 443 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 5: It wasn't an overnight process. It was many, many years 444 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 5: before I started to really feel complete. And in fact, 445 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:15,160 Speaker 5: I wrote a book at a tenure mark called From 446 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 5: Heartbreak to Wholeness, The Hero's Journey to Joy, because that 447 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 5: was when I started to feel like, Okay, ten years, 448 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,280 Speaker 5: I've really I'm feeling very complete on this journey. 449 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,240 Speaker 4: Now. When they came to you and they bought the 450 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:32,360 Speaker 4: rights for the movie, were you part of the process 451 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,679 Speaker 4: of casting or what was your involvement. 452 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:38,640 Speaker 5: With that, you know, I would have been Yeah, I 453 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:44,239 Speaker 5: definitely was on the production team, but I didn't have 454 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 5: a lot of say, like you know, in casting, but 455 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,959 Speaker 5: they were picking just such great actresses. I was like, 456 00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:53,200 Speaker 5: I was like, whoa, I'm thrilled with any of these choices. 457 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 5: And so when they told me Heather Locklear had signed, 458 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 5: I was like, wow, really that is so cool. Yeah, 459 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,920 Speaker 5: I'm like, wow, that is so cool. I love Heather Locklear. 460 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 5: And and then I, you know, I hadn't kept in touch, 461 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 5: and I looked up some of the things that she's 462 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 5: gone through over the last few years, and she's had 463 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 5: a really rough go and I thought, well, this is perfect, 464 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 5: you know, because she's now she's in sobriety and she's 465 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,639 Speaker 5: celebrating sobriety and she's going to come through the other side. 466 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,639 Speaker 5: And she this was like like her come back to 467 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 5: television was really apropos to the whole theme of the movie, 468 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,440 Speaker 5: which was super powerful. 469 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:34,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. 470 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,639 Speaker 4: I love how things work out like that, Like you know, 471 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,720 Speaker 4: when when things are just meant to be and if 472 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:42,160 Speaker 4: it works because it's your story, but you you wanted 473 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 4: someone who maybe has experienced some hardship of their own 474 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 4: that could really you know, dig into that character playing you. 475 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, and she came out. We had such a fun time, 476 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,119 Speaker 5: like talk about a soul sister connection. I mean, I 477 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,360 Speaker 5: went and picked her up at the airport, she came out, 478 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,880 Speaker 5: We hung out at my house, she spent the night. 479 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,520 Speaker 5: We had all these just funny like It turned out 480 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:09,200 Speaker 5: her one of her very closest friends from college from UCLA. 481 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 5: I went to Pepperdine and she went to UCLA. She's 482 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,800 Speaker 5: two years older than me. Her very best friend. You 483 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,920 Speaker 5: guys are not going to believe this. Her very best 484 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,720 Speaker 5: friend is a gal named Janie Sinclair. And my husband 485 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:26,000 Speaker 5: only talked about, well, really three other women his whole life. 486 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,160 Speaker 5: One was a very dear friend, one was his first love, 487 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,160 Speaker 5: well his second kind of love. And the very first 488 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,920 Speaker 5: girl he ever had a crush on was Janie Sinclair. 489 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:40,120 Speaker 5: And we found that out in our conversations together, and 490 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,359 Speaker 5: we were just blown away at how close, you know, 491 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:48,720 Speaker 5: the degree of separation really is that that her closest 492 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 5: friend in the whole world was my late husband's first crush. 493 00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:54,080 Speaker 5: And then tell me you don't think my husband has 494 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,400 Speaker 5: something to do with Heather. 495 00:25:56,280 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 2: Lockler out, I'm going to make my presence in this Yeah. 496 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, so that was We had all sorts of really 497 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:09,040 Speaker 5: fun synchronicities that really pointed to the whole idea that 498 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,120 Speaker 5: this movie was really meant to be and it felt 499 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 5: very divine. 500 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 2: I love that too. 501 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 3: I feel like, do you have so what does like 502 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,679 Speaker 3: a day look like for you? You know, like do 503 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 3: you have certain things that you do daily to help 504 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,119 Speaker 3: you stay rooted in gratitude? Or like are you a 505 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 3: wake up and have coffee? Do you make your bed? 506 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 3: I needed all the things. 507 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,040 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I mean for years and years 508 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 5: and years, you know, I've been in a routine of 509 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,640 Speaker 5: I go to bed really early, usually when it gets dark, 510 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:39,120 Speaker 5: I start really falling asleep. I get tired. I wake up. 511 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,480 Speaker 5: When I wake up. I never wake up to an alarm. Ever, 512 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:46,160 Speaker 5: I wake up at around four to five am. Wow, 513 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:52,160 Speaker 5: I get up, and I first I wake up very thankful. 514 00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,040 Speaker 5: That is one thing I've noticed is I'm in prayer 515 00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:56,719 Speaker 5: a lot when I wake up, and I'm just like, 516 00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:00,399 Speaker 5: I'm praying and I'm thanking God for everything. And then 517 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 5: I wake up out of bed and I go make 518 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,440 Speaker 5: my coffee. I come back, I take a few SIPs, 519 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 5: I don't fall back asleep, and I meditate. Now I 520 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,880 Speaker 5: meditate very quickly because I used to meditate for long, 521 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,639 Speaker 5: long periods, and now I can tune in very very quickly. 522 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,479 Speaker 5: So I meditate for about five minutes, and then I 523 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:21,199 Speaker 5: usually hit the ground running or hit the computer running. 524 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:26,639 Speaker 5: So you know, I have a practice. And I definitely 525 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,159 Speaker 5: don't flip my phone right on in the morning. I 526 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 5: think that's really bad for your brain. So I definitely 527 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 5: wait a good fifteen to twenty minutes before I ever 528 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,760 Speaker 5: look at my phone, and then I just you know, 529 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,040 Speaker 5: I usually just I look at what is my calendar 530 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,480 Speaker 5: like today, what do I need to get done? My 531 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,800 Speaker 5: creative hours are in the early morning. That's what I'm 532 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:51,679 Speaker 5: going to do. All my writing, am I communicating? You know, 533 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,919 Speaker 5: it was in the morning. So if I have a 534 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:57,200 Speaker 5: blog to write, or I'm working on a book, or 535 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,159 Speaker 5: I'm helping somebody else write something, or I'm writing a forward, 536 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,920 Speaker 5: whatever I might be doing, I'll be doing that really 537 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,119 Speaker 5: early in the morning because that's my creative window, and 538 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:06,560 Speaker 5: I get it done just super fast. 539 00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 4: Wow, I feel like that you couldn't that feels very 540 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:11,720 Speaker 4: different from my schedule. 541 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,399 Speaker 3: As I say, Sols, you and I are soul sisters. 542 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 2: Y'all really our soul. 543 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 3: Sister for the look at the phone. That's the first thing. 544 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 2: I know I gotta do bad. 545 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,240 Speaker 4: I need to do better about that because I I 546 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 4: feel like I've heard so many people say it's it 547 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,879 Speaker 4: changes your whole day when you can wake up and 548 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:33,040 Speaker 4: have either meditate or pray and have a moment of 549 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,080 Speaker 4: gratitude before you get sucked into our screen. 550 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,120 Speaker 5: Absolutely no, it's really I've actually done a lot of 551 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,600 Speaker 5: there's a lot of science on it now. It's it's 552 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,160 Speaker 5: really bad for our brains to go right to our phones, 553 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 5: I know. 554 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 3: So now I'm like I should What I really should 555 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 3: do is I should back up my wake up time, 556 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,200 Speaker 3: Like I should wake up earlier, because when I wake up, 557 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,480 Speaker 3: I hit the ground running with work. I don't even 558 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,200 Speaker 3: it's not even there's like not even a moment. I 559 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 3: just look at it, you know what I mean, Like 560 00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 3: it just go. So maybe what I should really do 561 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,719 Speaker 3: is I should wake up forty five minutes before I 562 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,080 Speaker 3: need to be awake for work. 563 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 2: M Yeah, at that. 564 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,680 Speaker 5: Time, I think if you create kind of a peaceful 565 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 5: twenty minutes. Twenty minutes. I think twenty minutes will do it. 566 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like I think I can get that done 567 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:15,160 Speaker 2: in twenty mine. 568 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 3: I feel girthy. 569 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 4: Do you have any books that you've read, like, aside 570 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,600 Speaker 4: from your books that you've written, do you have any 571 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,239 Speaker 4: books that you've read that have like totally changed your 572 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 4: life that you like three books where someone's like, what's 573 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 4: the most life changing book you've ever read? 574 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 2: Do you have any of those? 575 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,960 Speaker 5: I do so. One of the books early on that 576 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:40,479 Speaker 5: really shaped so much of everything that I am and 577 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 5: who what I believe was a book that was written 578 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:47,000 Speaker 5: in the nineteen twenties called The Game of Life by 579 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:48,360 Speaker 5: Florence Scovel. 580 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 3: Sh've heard of that. 581 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,880 Speaker 5: There's yeah, she has a bunch of amazing books. Like 582 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,240 Speaker 5: when they came out The Secret, I'm like, it's no 583 00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 5: secret that was Florence's work. Yeah, yeah, I'm like, no, no, 584 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 5: so that that book just completely altered my existence. And 585 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 5: then I absolutely love the wisdom in Kahil Gabron's The Prophet. 586 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:18,960 Speaker 5: So Kahil Gabron just wrote this very poetic book of wisdom, 587 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 5: and The Prophet is one of the most profound poetic 588 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:27,560 Speaker 5: wisdom books of any time. So that's when. And then 589 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 5: I really love Pema children when things fall apart. I 590 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:35,920 Speaker 5: love all of Pema's stuff. She's just a very wise teacher, 591 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:39,000 Speaker 5: you know. I really relate to everything that she says, 592 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 5: and she's just a wonderful teacher. So yeah, those are 593 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,920 Speaker 5: kind of my go tos. You know. I'm I don't 594 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,400 Speaker 5: read as much now as I used to, and sometimes 595 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 5: tell I tell I want to read the I want 596 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 5: to read some heavy things like the bod God Vita, 597 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 5: you know, like like I want to read some big things. 598 00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 5: That's this on my list. So I don't know when 599 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,840 Speaker 5: I'll have time, but I can figure that out. 600 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,000 Speaker 2: I'm just gonna say, when do you have time? It 601 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,400 Speaker 2: seems like you don't stop. 602 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,280 Speaker 5: Now I do. You know, my day is pretty over 603 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 5: by two o'clock in the afternoon, like I'm I'm really 604 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,880 Speaker 5: I'm pretty done by two to four in the afternoon. 605 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 5: I rarely ever will do much at that at that time, 606 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,080 Speaker 5: so I'm very yeah, and I always move. Like the 607 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,720 Speaker 5: other thing is about my day is I work in 608 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 5: the morning and then I always do a workout, so 609 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,120 Speaker 5: I'm always moving for at least an hour or an 610 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,360 Speaker 5: hour and a half workout, whether it's yoga or it's 611 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,920 Speaker 5: a boot camp class. I do this great boot camp 612 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:41,920 Speaker 5: class that's online, a cast class Fitness. She's amazing and 613 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,680 Speaker 5: it just kicks my butt in total gear for forty 614 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:48,120 Speaker 5: five minutes. 615 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, you you've really got what's your signed, by the way, 616 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:52,800 Speaker 4: wonder birthday? 617 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:57,640 Speaker 5: My birthday's July fifth, So I'm yeah, I'm a cancer 618 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,760 Speaker 5: on the Vedic. I'm a quadruple Gemini, So I have 619 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,560 Speaker 5: a lot of Gemini in my chart. 620 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:05,080 Speaker 2: Toni's fit. 621 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,000 Speaker 5: The cancer fits me more on that soundsite. I'm very 622 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,000 Speaker 5: consistent Gemini. 623 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:15,080 Speaker 2: Gemini's get a bad rap. 624 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,000 Speaker 5: They do because they're very creative. 625 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,400 Speaker 3: They are very creative. But yeah, cancer, that's you know, 626 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,120 Speaker 3: cut from the same cloth. Girl. 627 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:26,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the cancer vibes from both of you. 628 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:27,280 Speaker 5: Yeah. 629 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,200 Speaker 3: Like when the sun goes down, I am done. Like 630 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,080 Speaker 3: it's like, oh, the sun's down, all right, Time to 631 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 3: go to bed. 632 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:34,120 Speaker 5: What are your birthdays? 633 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 3: I'm July eighteenth, Okay, I'm October thirtieth. 634 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,800 Speaker 5: October thirtieth. Oh my best friend was October thirtieth and 635 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 5: my father in law was July eighteenth. 636 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,880 Speaker 3: No cancer, A good good friend, mix. 637 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,720 Speaker 5: Yeah they are. Yeah, one of my best friends he's 638 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:53,920 Speaker 5: a scorpio too. 639 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a lot of scorpio friends. 640 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,240 Speaker 4: Tony is my It helps me practice my like caring 641 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 4: the side compassion side. 642 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:05,920 Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, but you have a lot of times that's 643 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 5: on the cusp, Like that, isn't it? What's the sign 644 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,560 Speaker 5: the libra libra? Because you have a lot of libra 645 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 5: and you too, I bet I do. 646 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:19,480 Speaker 4: Actually I sometimes connect more with like the libra traits. 647 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,880 Speaker 4: I do have some Scorpio traits, but I definitely feel 648 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,200 Speaker 4: like I lean more towards Libra. 649 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, I think because my friend too, and I feel 650 00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:33,120 Speaker 5: like there's the Vedic system in the Western system. But 651 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 5: the Vedic system is a lot more ancient and it 652 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 5: takes it takes into consideration the movement of the Sun 653 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,880 Speaker 5: around the Earth, so it changes the dates. Oh yeah, 654 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,840 Speaker 5: so and Western is a much younger form of astrology. 655 00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,400 Speaker 5: So you can really trust the Vedic system to be 656 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 5: very very accurate. 657 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:53,840 Speaker 4: Well, I'm going to look into that chart because maybe 658 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:57,440 Speaker 4: that'll help me figure out like who. 659 00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:01,840 Speaker 3: I really am, who I really am. 660 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,680 Speaker 2: What sign I really identify with? 661 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 4: Yeah? 662 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 5: Human human design is really cool too. If you've never 663 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,880 Speaker 5: looked into your human design. That's a really cool system. 664 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,240 Speaker 2: Oh I don't think I have. Is that a test online? 665 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:12,839 Speaker 2: I can take? 666 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,560 Speaker 5: Give me that. Yeah you can. And yeah you can 667 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,920 Speaker 5: like get a human design reading if you know your 668 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,080 Speaker 5: birth time and place, that's all you need to. 669 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,880 Speaker 3: I'm starting to investigate my erotic blueprint. 670 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,239 Speaker 5: Oh cool, I haven't done that yet. 671 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,719 Speaker 3: I've been watching Gwyneth Paltrow's show Sex, Love and Goop, 672 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,280 Speaker 3: and so you know, there's like the five love languages. 673 00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:38,480 Speaker 3: There's the same thing for like sexual arousal. So there's 674 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 3: like sensual, erotic. I don't know all of them. This 675 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:46,479 Speaker 3: is new, this is new. I just started watching the show. 676 00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,840 Speaker 3: But now I'm like very intrigued as you do. 677 00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:50,919 Speaker 5: That's super cool. 678 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:54,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you for hanging out with us and taking 679 00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:55,279 Speaker 4: time to talk. 680 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:56,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you so much. 681 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,560 Speaker 2: I'm so excited to read your books. I'm I mean, 682 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:00,560 Speaker 2: you're a rock star. 683 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,280 Speaker 4: You have you just don't stop and when the daylight 684 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 4: is happening, you're creating and we love that. So thank 685 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:12,640 Speaker 4: you for scrubbing in and hanging out with us. I 686 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:13,920 Speaker 4: feel like we were talking to a friend. 687 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you so much. 688 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,560 Speaker 5: You two ladies too, Thank you so much for having 689 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:20,680 Speaker 5: me on and keep doing all the great work you're doing. 690 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:21,879 Speaker 5: I'll be watching all right. 691 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:22,920 Speaker 2: Thank you Christine. 692 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:41,279 Speaker 6: Bye, oh right, we're back. 693 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:44,400 Speaker 2: I love her. Y'all have similar energy. You and Christine, 694 00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,160 Speaker 2: thank you so much. Yeah both cancers. 695 00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,040 Speaker 3: Right yeah, but like my middle name is like tan 696 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:51,800 Speaker 3: yes with the small stuff trap. 697 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:57,480 Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, maybe you should read some of her books. 698 00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe she can give me some seminars. 699 00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:04,759 Speaker 4: Okay, I think we have an email and Mark take 700 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,120 Speaker 4: it away, all. 701 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,759 Speaker 1: Right, beca thank you very much. This is from anonymous. 702 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,319 Speaker 1: She says, my best friend since ninth grade has been 703 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:15,759 Speaker 1: dating my husband's brother. Okay, yeah, see that's I was 704 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,759 Speaker 1: waiting to do that. My best friend since ninth grade 705 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 1: has been dating my husband's brother. A cute cute so 706 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,920 Speaker 1: we're together all the time. My issue is that she's 707 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,480 Speaker 1: been dressing a lot more revealingly in the last year 708 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,520 Speaker 1: and a half, and it's begun to make me feel 709 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:35,080 Speaker 1: uncomfortable when she's around my husband. My husband is a 710 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:38,040 Speaker 1: butt guy, and while I do work out and I 711 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,920 Speaker 1: love my body, my butt isn't huge. But my best 712 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:44,720 Speaker 1: friend has a big butt. Anytime I'm with her around 713 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,600 Speaker 1: my husband she's wearing tight leggings and a sports bra. 714 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,239 Speaker 1: Anytime we're in bikinis, which is a lot we live 715 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 1: in Florida, she's in a thong. Not that there's anything 716 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 1: wrong with that, but when it's around my husband, I 717 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,720 Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable. He's never given me a reason to be insecure. 718 00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:01,960 Speaker 1: But I'm I naive to think he hasn't noticed or 719 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:03,840 Speaker 1: looked at her when she's in front of him like 720 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:06,840 Speaker 1: this all the time. And if he has, is that bad? 721 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:09,640 Speaker 1: Do other people feel this way? Should I say something? 722 00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,600 Speaker 1: Is it just my insecurities? How should I go about this? 723 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:21,600 Speaker 3: Wow? I think it's your insecurities, because if it's not 724 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,399 Speaker 3: your best friend dressing that way, there's gonna be five 725 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,319 Speaker 3: million other people dressing that way. Out in the rural world. 726 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,520 Speaker 3: There are people walking around. I mean I was walking 727 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,600 Speaker 3: around to and Thong and Hawaii. My butt was hanging out, 728 00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:35,320 Speaker 3: my butt was jiggling from here to timbucktoo. 729 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,960 Speaker 1: And then ran in a whole bunch of his friends. 730 00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:38,320 Speaker 5: Right right. 731 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,720 Speaker 3: But you know, like I think there's there's access to 732 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,359 Speaker 3: to you know, and forever whatever. Like women can wear 733 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,960 Speaker 3: whatever they want, you know, but there's access to photos, videos, 734 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:54,480 Speaker 3: you can't. It's just everywhere, and so it's unfortunate that 735 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,359 Speaker 3: you're around them all the time and it's your best friend. 736 00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,080 Speaker 3: I'm sure it's like awkward, but I just I don't 737 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,640 Speaker 3: think there's any benefit and you're saying anything to her 738 00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,600 Speaker 3: or to him, because I definitely don't think he's looking 739 00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:10,040 Speaker 3: at her that way, especially since it's his brother's wife, and. 740 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,200 Speaker 2: I don't think are they dating. 741 00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:15,440 Speaker 3: Oh sorry, since it's your brother's girlfriend girlfriend, same I mean, 742 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,359 Speaker 3: same difference. I don't think he's looking at her that way. 743 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:21,440 Speaker 3: I think if you say something, it's just she's not 744 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,600 Speaker 3: gonna stop. What do you have a different opinion, Well. 745 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,480 Speaker 4: Not so much a different opinion, but I will say this, 746 00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:32,360 Speaker 4: he has most certainly noticed her, but in a bikini. 747 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:35,000 Speaker 4: There's no denying that he has looked at it. Maybe 748 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:38,760 Speaker 4: thought like that's a nice but but you said something 749 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,400 Speaker 4: very important that said, he's never given me a reason 750 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:45,160 Speaker 4: to be insecure, right, And you are naive to think 751 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,560 Speaker 4: that he hasn't noticed. But I think the fact that 752 00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,719 Speaker 4: he has probably noticed and has still never given you 753 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,960 Speaker 4: a reason to be insecure is a very telling statement 754 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,800 Speaker 4: that you've mentioned. So I don't think it does anything 755 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,560 Speaker 4: beneficial to mention it to her to him, because you 756 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,200 Speaker 4: don't want either of them to feel uncomfortable. You don't 757 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,200 Speaker 4: want her to feel uncomfortable wearing something that she's comfortable in, 758 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,360 Speaker 4: that she's confident in, and you don't want him to 759 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,520 Speaker 4: feel like he has to keep his eyes above a 760 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,520 Speaker 4: certain level at all times. Right, So I think it's 761 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,719 Speaker 4: something and I think we all struggle with in I mean, 762 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,680 Speaker 4: I have I have so many best friends that are 763 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,040 Speaker 4: so hot. Like if I got insecure, every time I 764 00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:27,360 Speaker 4: thought about my significant other, like looking at them or 765 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,920 Speaker 4: like admiring their beauty, I would lose my mind. So 766 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,160 Speaker 4: I think it's more of like you realizing that it's 767 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,920 Speaker 4: your own insecurity and working on that as opposed to 768 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:43,480 Speaker 4: asking them to fix something that is your insecurities, that 769 00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:47,080 Speaker 4: that should be addressed and worked on just within. It's 770 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,520 Speaker 4: not even like you need to, it's we all struggle 771 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:49,759 Speaker 4: with that. 772 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,040 Speaker 3: Like the weekend where Becca's ass was literally on Red 773 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:59,320 Speaker 3: Stars Instagram. Every time he opened it. It was like Beca's Instagram, which, yeah, Becca's, 774 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:00,759 Speaker 3: Mecca's about Becca's but. 775 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe her friend. 776 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,759 Speaker 4: Maybe she just started feeling good about herself and felt 777 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:09,400 Speaker 4: confident enough to wear things like that in the recent year, 778 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,120 Speaker 4: and that's why she's, you know, more comfortable than she 779 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:13,080 Speaker 4: ever has been. 780 00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:16,680 Speaker 3: But I enjoy a legging in a sports bra me too, 781 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:17,319 Speaker 3: I always were. 782 00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:21,880 Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I hope that helps. 783 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:23,400 Speaker 3: I think it did. 784 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,920 Speaker 2: Would you like to wrap up this episode? 785 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:30,480 Speaker 3: I'd love nothing more. Well, we will see you shortly 786 00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:33,720 Speaker 3: and then you know what I would like to discuss 787 00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,240 Speaker 3: because I posted about this and I got some qualms 788 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:39,680 Speaker 3: Ross being my favorite friend's character. 789 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's yeah. 790 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:43,080 Speaker 2: Is that controversial? 791 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,400 Speaker 3: It was controversial in my dance. Yeah, really gathered quite 792 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:50,240 Speaker 3: some some some scuttle really. Yeah, so we can discuss 793 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:51,280 Speaker 3: that on our next episode. 794 00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:52,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm curious. 795 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,200 Speaker 1: I think I don't think he'd make my top five. 796 00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,600 Speaker 3: There's only six. 797 00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:57,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 798 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,200 Speaker 3: You can't argue as comedic time me. 799 00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,800 Speaker 2: I'm with you. I think Ross is one of the 800 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 2: funniest character. I don't know if he's my character, but 801 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,600 Speaker 2: that is funny. He's not like he makes me laugh 802 00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,520 Speaker 2: out loud more than I would say. I mean, he's 803 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,120 Speaker 2: one of definitely one of the ones that makes me 804 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:13,680 Speaker 2: laugh out loud. 805 00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:15,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, But there's this whole theory about Ross and that 806 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:19,120 Speaker 3: he's a gas lighter and he's like toxic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so. 807 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:19,880 Speaker 2: We can get into that. 808 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:20,640 Speaker 5: Yeah. 809 00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:24,320 Speaker 1: May I preview tonight's Gray's Anatomy since we're on a Thursday, 810 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:25,759 Speaker 1: on a rare Thursday scrubbing in? 811 00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:26,319 Speaker 5: Yes? 812 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:31,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's Thanksgiving and while Meredith faces travel complications 813 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,719 Speaker 1: due to the weather, Nick steps in to help in 814 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:35,759 Speaker 1: more ways than one. 815 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,000 Speaker 3: Is that Scot Speedman's character's name. 816 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:38,319 Speaker 2: Uh huh. 817 00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,719 Speaker 1: Richard and Bailey seek out emergency surgeries, and Amelia and 818 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:47,080 Speaker 1: Link reconnect. That's the latest Gray's Anatomy episode. 819 00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:47,799 Speaker 3: Sounds good. 820 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:52,239 Speaker 2: I don't want a million. I'm I'm kind of done 821 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,200 Speaker 2: you like Amelia and the new doctor. I'm not even 822 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:55,640 Speaker 2: saying that. 823 00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,759 Speaker 4: I don't know what Emil is gonna be with the 824 00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:00,480 Speaker 4: new doctor, but I just I just feel like the 825 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:04,160 Speaker 4: Link thing we've been We've gone through every option of 826 00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:06,440 Speaker 4: them together and it hasn't seemed to work. So I 827 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,480 Speaker 4: think I'm just ready for one of them to move 828 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:09,320 Speaker 4: on change. 829 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:10,239 Speaker 5: Yeah. 830 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,239 Speaker 1: Well, if they reconnect, I just mean Links's going to 831 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:13,359 Speaker 1: get his heart broken once again. 832 00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,440 Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. She does not want to marry him. 833 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:18,160 Speaker 5: Oh. 834 00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:20,799 Speaker 4: I also another teaser for Mexico, I want to talk. 835 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:24,960 Speaker 4: I saw this this TikTok where this girl was basically saying, 836 00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:28,200 Speaker 4: if you've been with your partner for longer than a 837 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,400 Speaker 4: year and they haven't proposed, then to get out of 838 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,960 Speaker 4: the relationship. And I thought it was such a fascinating 839 00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:39,560 Speaker 4: opinion because I don't agree, but I wanted to dive 840 00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,480 Speaker 4: into that next week. That's the theory, just saying like 841 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:44,520 Speaker 4: a lot of people are, like I knew from the 842 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:46,520 Speaker 4: moment I met the person, so there was no need 843 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,439 Speaker 4: to wait for proposal or to propose or whatever. 844 00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:53,000 Speaker 2: I just thought it was a lot of people had 845 00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:55,840 Speaker 2: opinions in the in the comments. 846 00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,279 Speaker 3: So nice. Send that over Red Rover. 847 00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:02,960 Speaker 2: Yeah alright, Well, on that note, we'll see you on Monday. 848 00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:04,439 Speaker 2: Love you bye, Let me bye.