00:00:01
Speaker 1: Hello, listener, it's Bridger. We're not in the backyard. In fact, I'm just in my weird little recording space here and the show has not started. We haven't heard the theme song. The theme song, by the way, we credit her at the end of every episode, but I want to say it up top is written and performed by Amy Mann, and she did such a terrific job with it. I feel like I could never stop giving her credit for that. Let's be honest, it's the best song in podcasting. I won't hear another word about it, Okay, I need to. There's a reason I'm here. There is a reason I'm here, and it's because the bad news is is this is a re release of last year's holiday special. I'm not to blame here. I'm actually I'm entirely to blame here. I did not have the time or the energy this year. I just couldn't do it. Last year, we had what ninety eight guests or something, and there were all of the games which were terrific and on a least, did such a beautiful job with the sound effects, and actually, on aalse maybe you can put some sort of sound effect behind my voice on this. I don't know, a wind blowing, a fire crackling, a Christmas horse hoods, bells jingling or jangling. I don't know what buttons. You have access to do whatever you want, and you don't have to cut me out. You know you don't have to cut this little bit of audio of me directing you here out. This is reality, this is the podcast. The listener deserves to know that I demanded some sound effects. Okay, now what are we? Why am I here? It's a re release of the episode. I couldn't let the year pass without wishing you a happy holidays. And I don't want to hear any complaints. I don't want to hear any screaming. If Snoopy can coast on his Peanuts Holiday special for I don't know sixty years, I can do it at least once. It's a great episode. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you got everything you wanted for the holidays. You deserve it, and look, the little wish in my heart is that you'll tell somebody about the podcast, that you'll corner a family member or friend and tell them, or get on you know, your various social medias and say something. Do whatever you need to do I give and give and give and give and give. It's the least you can do anyway. Let's all try to have a bare minimum a decent twenty twenty three, Happy holidays. I love you. Here's the show.

00:02:48
Speaker 2: He lie invit?

00:02:49
Speaker 3: Did you hear thun a man myself perfectly clear? Yeah, I guess you gotta come to me empty And I said, no, guest, your presence is presents and I'm already too much stuff. So how do you dare disurbey.

00:03:17
Speaker 1: Mean welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm bridge or wineger. I'm so happy you're here. I'm happy to be with you. The fire's roaring. I have holiday drinks set out, you know, hot cocoa, a variety of spiced liquids, the eggnog of horse room temperature water. I'm just kind of in a robe. Everyone's too afraid to say something. The tree is sparkling. There's a single cookie for each guest on our system. Please, I have the rustat said to eighty seven. And of course I've sealed the door so no one can get in or out. What a special episode this is going to be. My wonderful producer, Annalisa and I have rounded up a variety of guests that you might recall from past episodes, and what we have today is the podcast equivalent of a super Spreader event. Each of the guests today have brought me a gift before, but the holidays, if nothing else, are a time for forgiveness. So I invited them all back and made them swear they wouldn't bring a gift this time by threatening legal action. For the next little while, it's going to be NonStop games. That's the deal here. We have Gift or a Curse. We've got Gift Master and a very special do or die lightning version of Gift or a Curse. A lot of big opinions this episode. Some will win, many will lose. If you have a moment as a little gift to me, why don't you rate and review this podcast? I mean, if you haven't done it already, shame on you. I ask for so little. This is the bare minimum you can do for me. And if you're surrounded by family, maybe corner someone recommend the show, Say you know, grandma, you got to listen to this podcast, and then remind them later about it. Maybe send them an email as well, you know, just keep reminding it's okay if the relationship is permanently damaged. You're doing this for me, and look, I hope you're having a wonderful holiday season. Fantastic time, of course I do. No matter what you celebrate. You've got your Christmases, your kwans As, your Hanukkahs, your Winter Solstices, your Boxing Days, your New Year's Eves. I'm sure I'm missing something unless you're listening to this episode at another time of year, in which case I don't know. Happy Easter, Happy Father's Day, Happy Halloween, Happy National Asthma and Allergy Awareness Month. Anyway, it's time to begin playing, so I need everyone to settle down and pay attention. First up, let's play a nice round of Gift Master with the terrific Lauren Lampkis. I feel like the last time we played, we talked about Zachary ty Bryan, Yes, and then he got shortly after was arrested. Yes, ran into some legal trouble. So we'll just hope that that doesn't happen in today's game.

00:06:34
Speaker 4: Well, hopefully something good happens to him now or not.

00:06:38
Speaker 1: You know, could be a bad guy. I feel like he is a bad guy.

00:06:42
Speaker 4: I don't know, I don't know.

00:06:44
Speaker 5: He played Brad with ease and a plum.

00:06:49
Speaker 1: Yeah. So with Gift Master, you know, I'll name the three potential gifts. I'll name the three celebrities. You'll tell me which gift you're going to give, which celebrity and why you know. And it is the holiday season, so we've got to be extra thoughtful. But the gifts you'll be giving are We've got a lot of experience gifts here. Well, actually maybe not. Let me just say we've got a healthy work life balance. That's one gift. Number two you'll be giving an ass that won't quit. And number three you'll be giving a frappucino.

00:07:25
Speaker 4: Okay, that's a small or not that great.

00:07:30
Speaker 1: And you'll be giving them to the following people. Let's see here Bruno Mars Pop Sensation, Bruno Mars, so when I adore Diane Weese, I love her, fantastic actor. And number three, we've got Prince Charles.

00:07:47
Speaker 5: Oh my god, Okay, this is really hard. Okay, Well, two of the gifts are life changing and one is a frappucino. Okay, So I love Diane Weeze so much. I think she's one of the best actors of our time, and really no one's talking about her right now. She's fantastic. Everything she's ever been in, she's like amazing. I kind of imagine she's somebody who has a good work life balance.

00:08:19
Speaker 4: Because I feel like she chooses like really good projects.

00:08:22
Speaker 5: She's not always in something, but she's always in something good, right, and so she's probably not saying yes all the time to things. So I'm just gonna say that. And then Bruno Mars, I just don't. I don't really care about no offense.

00:08:40
Speaker 1: You don't adore No, I'm.

00:08:43
Speaker 4: Okay, But I feel his songs do get stuck in my head. I haven't looked at his ass.

00:08:49
Speaker 5: I'm gonna guess that it won't quit because I feel like he dances a lot, so he's probably good. He probably doesn't have as good of a work life balance because he's a musician, and I feel like they work so hard in their ways doing shows and it's like a huge deal and they're touring and blah blah blah.

00:09:05
Speaker 1: He's in the super Bowl four times a year.

00:09:08
Speaker 5: This, yes, I exactly. And then we have Prince Charles, who how old is he?

00:09:13
Speaker 1: I'm gonna guess, uh, one I'm picturing of Prince Charles. I'm gonna guess he's seventy one.

00:09:19
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I was thinking for a second of the older one who passed, you.

00:09:23
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, Prince. We're talking about Prince Philip, who could be alive or dead. It's I know.

00:09:27
Speaker 5: All I know is that his corpse was writing in the back of a limo and a picture that I saw.

00:09:32
Speaker 1: That corpse has been in a lot of cars over the.

00:09:34
Speaker 5: Last a good picture. Okay, So Prince Charles is like in his seventies. He look, he doesn't work right.

00:09:45
Speaker 1: Hard to say. He could have a little Etsy shop on the side. He's got a side hustle going.

00:09:51
Speaker 4: Okay, here's what I'm gonna do.

00:09:53
Speaker 5: I'm going to give Prince Charles the frappatino because he probably can't go to is it Starbucks.

00:09:58
Speaker 4: Or is this just a frappetina?

00:09:59
Speaker 1: Is that rapid? Let's say it's a Starbucks frapati.

00:10:02
Speaker 5: I'm gonna say he doesn't get to go to Starbucks ever, and he doesn't get to have like what the people have, right, so he always he has like a fancy person who makes him his own drinks. So this is like a special treat to have, like a commoner's beverage. And then I'm going to give Bruno Mars the work life balance because he is very busy and maybe he doesn't have enough time for his personal life. And then I'm giving Dan We's the ass that won't quit because she deserves it.

00:10:27
Speaker 1: At this point, she absolutely deserves it, She's earned it. I mean again, I can't I can't picture Diane's ass. She might already have one, and it's none of our business. No, it's none of our business what her ass looks like at all. But it wouldn't hurt to feel great about your ass. And if she has any doubts about it now, it won't quit. I think that's perfect. Bruno Mars, we can tell he's a workaholic. Time to take a break.

00:10:55
Speaker 4: He needs to relax.

00:10:57
Speaker 1: And yeah, then Charles is sipping at that.

00:11:02
Speaker 5: I just love the idea of him just being delivered with his name spelled wrong, like a Starbucks drink.

00:11:08
Speaker 4: It's just charlel It's like Prince Charle.

00:11:15
Speaker 1: Well, you did it. I mean, you're always very thoughtful, you do it excellently every time, and this is no surprise.

00:11:22
Speaker 5: Well, I try you know I love to give gifts, and I know you always say no gifts, but you love to receive them.

00:11:29
Speaker 4: So it's your favorite time of year.

00:11:31
Speaker 1: No doubt, I'm having an excellent time. I'm just waiting through a sea of gifts and this kind of thing.

00:11:38
Speaker 5: What I'm just going to say, one thing about the Christmas season is that I my thing right now that I'm getting excited about is wrapping gifts because so often we're mailing gifts online to each other where we don't get the gift wrapping, especially because of COVID we weren't traveling. Everyone's just getting packages in the mail with a little receipt that has a message on it. I'm going to wrap the gifts and I'm going to hand deliver the gift.

00:12:00
Speaker 4: So this is the wow.

00:12:01
Speaker 5: I mean if I can, unless it's people out of state. But I'm saying I'm not ordering something to be delivered to somebody at this point right when.

00:12:07
Speaker 1: I mean, because everyone can just order themselves something and get.

00:12:10
Speaker 4: Another it's not that exciting exactly.

00:12:12
Speaker 5: It's so fun to and I have all this wrapping paper I never use, so I'm excited to use it.

00:12:16
Speaker 1: Are you a good rapper?

00:12:18
Speaker 4: I'm pretty good. I'm pretty good.

00:12:19
Speaker 5: I grew up wrapping gifts with my mom, and I understand the importance of a tight corner. I'm so jealous, but sometimes I phone it in and I just kind of like, let it be smushy, and I don't really care.

00:12:32
Speaker 1: Well, do you have any holiday wishes you'd like to send out?

00:12:39
Speaker 6: Yo?

00:12:39
Speaker 4: Fuck Santa.

00:12:45
Speaker 7: No.

00:12:45
Speaker 4: I have a baby now.

00:12:46
Speaker 5: So this is my first Christmas with a baby, and so this is very very exciting to me because I love holidays, I love traditions, and I'm really excited to start traditions with my baby. So that's my my dream and wish for this Christmas season is my own.

00:12:58
Speaker 4: It's just about me.

00:13:05
Speaker 1: Oh okay, well now our next guest contestant is none other than the very funny Danielle Perez. Danielle. The last time we spoke, my half of my face was numb from the dentist. But today it's the holidays. We're gonna have a lovely time. We're playing do or die gift or a curse. I'm gonna name one thing. You're gonna tell me if it's a gift or a curse and why, and that I'm gonna tell you if you won the game or not.

00:13:32
Speaker 8: I love one shot.

00:13:34
Speaker 1: I love just having one shot. Y, Well, you could go either way darker light. But it is a holiday season, so hopefully you'll win. But who knows. So here we go gift or a curse? Friends and family sales? So these are the friends and family sales that you'll get an email like, I don't know, j Crew. Friends and family sale a.

00:14:00
Speaker 9: Curse, honestly a curse.

00:14:03
Speaker 8: You buy too much, you go too hard.

00:14:06
Speaker 10: You're left with the impulse.

00:14:09
Speaker 9: To go, oh yeah, I love that color.

00:14:13
Speaker 8: That color is gonna look great on me, and you're you have a short true sweater.

00:14:21
Speaker 9: You can't even give it away to wait out of it.

00:14:26
Speaker 1: Danielle excellent. I mean that's not the logic I'm using here. I do think they're a curse. But the reason I think they're a curse so I don't feel like these are really friends and family sales. I feel like if I am an actual friend or family of the you know, the gap employee, I'm getting a better discount. People are it waters the whole thing down. We've got to think of a new term for this. You can't just blast out an email to one hundred thousand people calling them friends and family.

00:14:54
Speaker 11: It's just now, yeah, it really, it is diluting the whole like friend and family tier.

00:15:00
Speaker 10: I haven't thought of that.

00:15:02
Speaker 1: Wow, right, I don't want to become friends with you know, the Uniclo employee. Uh, and then find out that everyone's a friends and family.

00:15:11
Speaker 8: Everyone's a fan friend for those two weeks, we're all friends and family.

00:15:14
Speaker 1: No, thank you, We justus were in the meeting.

00:15:17
Speaker 11: Stuck in the same store, making impulse purchases, acting on our base instincts, leaving the place that we have like inhabited for the last few hours, just like in shambles.

00:15:30
Speaker 8: And for what friends and family behavior?

00:15:34
Speaker 6: For god? Oh my god.

00:15:35
Speaker 8: Okay, fifteen percent off is not a friends in fair.

00:15:37
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about. I think a lot of these things are fating as a friends and family and you're getting fifteen percent. Now if I'm if you're going to call me a friend or a family member, you're going to give me thirty percent minimum. Let's talk fifty percent?

00:15:53
Speaker 8: Okay, see fifty percent Now we're friends in fail yes?

00:15:57
Speaker 10: Now, I mean that's.

00:15:58
Speaker 1: Like in re circle, we're basically marya Yes.

00:16:01
Speaker 8: If a brand would like to marry me.

00:16:03
Speaker 10: If you open to that.

00:16:07
Speaker 1: Reach out, get down and you know, get on bended knee and ask Danielle to marry you. That's all I got.

00:16:15
Speaker 11: Let's make this thing legit. Come on, you're living in sin senty beauty, get it together.

00:16:24
Speaker 1: Excellently played, Danielle. I mean, you just knocked it out of the park. It's nice when the end of the year you get it a little win. Yes, another lightning round version of gift or a curse with John Gabris. Okay, gift or a curse Gabris, and please be careful. We don't want you to ruin the twenty twenty one for yourself and the holidays are shattered. Gift a curse. Tall sandwiches.

00:16:57
Speaker 6: Tall sandwiches.

00:16:59
Speaker 1: You know we're talking Scooby Doo style giant tall sandwiches.

00:17:05
Speaker 12: Okay, well, here's the thing. My favorite food in the world is sandwiches. So by design, just the noun without the modifier hits me and I go gift. But the thing is the one thing a sandwich shouldn't be now and I like a lot of meat and a lot of bullshit on my sandwiches. But the one thing a sandwich shouldn't be is tall. I think you can go longer, bigger, thicker, white, but taller. And I have a huge I have a huge mouth brand, but I don't even like to have like I like a fat sandwich.

00:17:43
Speaker 6: Like I'm a New Yorker.

00:17:44
Speaker 12: When you get sandwiches anywhere besides New York, it's like, yeah, we got some turkey and cheese and New York, it's like you get if you get a cream cheese bagel, you get like an inch and a half of cream cheese. And I fucking love that. But there is a limit to the height of a like no one goes, oh, dude, my deli. You gotta love this place. They have the tallest sandwiches like that. No one, So I'll go with curse.

00:18:10
Speaker 1: You absolutely got it. I mean, what a beautiful fuck.

00:18:14
Speaker 12: Yes, I was really worried for a second.

00:18:17
Speaker 1: Holy shit, this is fucking great. I adore a sandwich, but a tall sandwich is the worst possible experience any sandwich where I have to break it down without my mouth. The only thing I should be using is my mouth to break down the sandwich, chewing, chewing, chewing.

00:18:33
Speaker 12: I don't hate if some like mayoed up chicken cutlet shoots out the back and I gotta do a little restrike.

00:18:39
Speaker 1: That's fine, right, but if you got your fucking.

00:18:41
Speaker 12: Shit so stacked where it's like, yeah, I gotta bite through eleven layers to fucking fuck that.

00:18:47
Speaker 1: Uh no, absolute curse. They look fantastic, of course, it's a beautiful thing. Impossible to eat. It doesn't work. It works against what the nature of the product even is. Tall sandwiches. We've got to get away from it. That excellent job, you did it.

00:19:04
Speaker 12: Happy holidays, Oh amazing, Happy holidays do you today?

00:19:12
Speaker 1: Well look who it is. Everyone loves him, We love him. It's Oscar Montoya. Happy holidays, Oh, happy holidays.

00:19:23
Speaker 13: It's so thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to meet with me during the holidays.

00:19:28
Speaker 1: Well, I've got, you know, various balls and gallaws that I'm kind of skipping between. But I just keep my dress on.

00:19:34
Speaker 9: Don't forget the masquerades, my.

00:19:38
Speaker 1: Masquerade Christmas balls that I'm at. Are you ready for a do or die gift or a curse?

00:19:45
Speaker 6: Absolutely?

00:19:46
Speaker 1: Oh, we'll see Oscar gift or a curse. Now, this is an interesting one. Golden Rod. Are you familiar with golden Rod? The color? I know, golden Rod? The color is that? Is there something out? Is it just golden rod from you know the paper that's the color of golden Rod?

00:20:09
Speaker 9: Exactly?

00:20:10
Speaker 13: Okay, Okay, I think it's uh, it's a it's a gift. It's absolutely gift. And why it's a cute. It's not an offensive color, you know what I mean. It's a it's a nice, subtle color. It's a nice gift. It makes people think like, oh, I'm thinking about you. You know, it could have been like shit brown, and it's not. It's golden Rod. So I think there's limitless options. Golden Rod is I think one of the better choices you can you can gift someone.

00:20:37
Speaker 1: Oscar, Oh, you came in with this confidence, and you're so wrong. Golden Rod is a curse. The public school system has ruined golden Rod. For me. When I see the color, all I think of is a worksheet, a word search, or something to take home to mom to sign. It's an absolute curse.

00:20:58
Speaker 6: Okay, Yeah, I'm sorry. Yes, actually you're completely right.

00:21:02
Speaker 1: Yes, you know, the holidays are forgiving, but they're also for apologizing.

00:21:07
Speaker 6: Well, I appreciate that.

00:21:08
Speaker 13: Sorry, I'm coming clean and I'm being honest with myself, and for that I am sorry.

00:21:12
Speaker 14: I apologize, bitch. Golden Rod is in fact a curse.

00:21:16
Speaker 1: Look, you've you've kind of bottomed out at the end of twenty twenty one, But that just means twenty twenty two you can start a new You can just you have a fresh page of Golden Rod.

00:21:26
Speaker 13: Right exactly. I can't get any lower than I am. Right now, that's a good point.

00:21:31
Speaker 7: Bridger.

00:21:34
Speaker 1: Oh well, look, all I can say at this point is happy holidays, and I'm happy holidays. Does something to cheer you up. Okay, We're headed into our next guest contestant, someone who I just adore, Carl Tart. Carl, Hello, are you ready to play or die? Gift or a curse?

00:22:01
Speaker 6: I absolutely am.

00:22:03
Speaker 1: Now, Carl, I'm gonna name one thing. You're gonna tell me if it's a gift or a curse? And why are you? Just please prepare yourself. Let's is a listener suggestion some one named Katie wrote in gift or a curse? A baby you don't know waving to you in public?

00:22:21
Speaker 15: Is that is one gift? Because see a lot of people out here are pet people. I'm not a pet person, but I'm a baby person. Like, I love a good baby. They cute, They all cute. Some people be like some baby's ugly. Babies ugly when they first come out. Nah, man, babies be cute out here, you know. And a baby waving to me, and a baby waving to me in public, this is this is this is too sweet. But it makes me feel like I have a good soul. I feel like they.

00:22:55
Speaker 1: See the good in people, right, They haven't quite developed cynicism yet.

00:23:01
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, so I like, I love a baby. I think that is a gift.

00:23:07
Speaker 1: Carl, It's the holidays, So I hate to deliver this news. Oh no, it's a curse, of course. I mean, babies are very cute, and it's a fun surprise to see a baby waving to you. But there it's so complicated. It's like is the baby is it a joke? Are they making fun of me?

00:23:25
Speaker 6: What is?

00:23:26
Speaker 1: What's the baby's actual game? And now what do I owe the baby? Do I wave back? And then people are like, what's this adult man waving to the baby doing? It's It creates such a complicated web almost immediately, and I think I know what. I think the baby knows what they're doing. They getting you in trouble, they're getting me in trouble, or they're at least making me out there. I just do I come over and talk to the baby. Then the parent is saying, why are you talking to my baby? It's a trap. It's an absolute trap. Of course, we we appreciate the attempt by babies who maybe purely want to wave, but I feel like a lot of babies just are trying to, you know, create a situation.

00:24:08
Speaker 6: Understood, understood, all right. I was wrong.

00:24:10
Speaker 7: I was wrong.

00:24:11
Speaker 6: I'm starting off on the bad foot, all.

00:24:12
Speaker 1: Right, not starting off ending on a bad foot. This is do or die, and you have failed. Carl.

00:24:19
Speaker 6: Oh, dang it.

00:24:22
Speaker 1: Well, do you have any holiday wishes to give?

00:24:26
Speaker 15: I wish that all the babies who wave that you are doing it from a place of goodness and doing it from a place of kindness and not trying to get you in trouble.

00:24:34
Speaker 6: As an adult man waving at a baby.

00:24:38
Speaker 1: I think that's a great wish. Carl.

00:24:42
Speaker 6: Happy holidays to you, Bridget, thank you.

00:24:53
Speaker 1: Our next guest contestant is Matt Ingebretson Matt Happy hauliday.

00:25:00
Speaker 7: Bridge or why are we doing this because.

00:25:03
Speaker 1: Of the holiday season?

00:25:04
Speaker 7: Man, Oh, it's a holiday season. I forgot. I forgot it was a holiday season.

00:25:09
Speaker 1: Well, I forgot you were a scrooge, a grinch. This person as a heart of coal. But you know, everyone should be involved in the holidays. And I'm so happy that you can be here and we can try to warm your spirits.

00:25:23
Speaker 16: I'm glad to be here too, but I do I resent you for dragging me out of bed for what some podcast.

00:25:32
Speaker 1: Christmas morning. There are presents under the tree. Today, we're going to play gift master. I'm going to name three potential gifts things you can give away, and I'm going to name three celebrities people you're going to give them to. You're going to tell me which gift you're going to give which celebrity and why. And more than ever, you need to be thoughtful about this because it is a holiday season. So you don't want anyone going to bed tonight thinking that Santa didn't care. Okay, Matt, these are the three gifts you will be giving today. Number one is a stylish purse. Number two is a thirty six month lease on a buick Enclave and number three is an eternity in hell. You will be giving these gifts to the following people. And yeah, obviously some of these are experiences, some of them are gifts, but that's you know, you have to run the gamut with gift giving. You'll be giving them to the following people. Dame Maggie Smith, the legendary Dame Maggie Smith.

00:26:35
Speaker 7: Okay.

00:26:36
Speaker 1: Number two someone who's more dog royalty. Caesar Milan, the dog whisperer. Okay, he you know, he trains pets for a living. The number guy, the dog guy. And number three is Michelle Branch.

00:26:51
Speaker 7: Michelle Branch.

00:26:53
Speaker 1: You know that everywhere song I'm.

00:26:56
Speaker 16: On Google it looks like Michelle Branch is married to one of the men from the Black Keys. Okay, congratulations and also maybe too bad for you.

00:27:08
Speaker 1: So what you're doing is you're defining a woman by her male partner.

00:27:12
Speaker 16: Yeah, and thanks for putting it that way, doing me a big favor. You dragged me out of bed and accuse me of being a misogynist. What a podcast this is.

00:27:28
Speaker 1: Okay, We've got Dave Maggie Smith. We all know her. Caesar Milan, He's trained to countless dogs. And then of course, Michelle Branch. We're a little foggy on who she is, but we have enough of an idea.

00:27:42
Speaker 16: Wow, okay, well, I mean I guess Dame Maggie Smith I like the most out of this group. I'm a fan of her from such things as Harry Potter.

00:27:59
Speaker 7: End of list.

00:28:02
Speaker 1: That's kind of where she got her start.

00:28:05
Speaker 16: Dame Maggie Smith, Congratulations, you're getting a stylish purse.

00:28:11
Speaker 1: You don't think when that day. Maggie Smith doesn't have six closets of stylish purses.

00:28:16
Speaker 16: She's probably collected a lot of stylish purses. Now, when you say stylish purse, are you picturing like what like something from Target that's cute but inexpensive, or are you picturings like Gucci or something like that.

00:28:30
Speaker 1: I'm not giving the gift away. I have to show up and you get to decide what type of handbag, what price range.

00:28:40
Speaker 16: If I were to have to give a purse to somebody, it would stress me out so much because it's it's like perses. The problem with purses is they do you can find a cute purse, but it's more of a status symbol a lot of the time, and it's like did you spend two grand on this purse. But I think, to be honest, no offense to anybody out there. If you're buying into that, you're a lost person and you need to reevaluate your belief system.

00:29:05
Speaker 1: I guess I'll burn all of my purses.

00:29:09
Speaker 7: Okay, So, Dame.

00:29:11
Speaker 16: Maggie Smith, congratulations, you get a purse. You don't need put it in the closet. You're I can't imagine you're leaving the house very much these days.

00:29:20
Speaker 1: Wow, you've just come for day Maggie Smith. You might as well have sent her to helling.

00:29:25
Speaker 16: This person I am. I am realizing I'm being I'm ornery right now. I guess I didn't realize it, but in talking to you, you're bringing out a spitefulness in me that I didn't realize I had this morning.

00:29:38
Speaker 1: Welcome to every one of my relationships. Okay, So day Maggie gets the purse. I actually can't argue with that, and she probably has a lot, but she could easily regift that, and she seems generous. It was that seems like it makes sense to me.

00:29:55
Speaker 16: Now this is now. These are some tough decisions we have to make. Here a thirty six month lease on a Buick Enclave that's.

00:30:04
Speaker 1: Three years in. What I believe is you know, seat seven people. This is, I believe is a huge car.

00:30:10
Speaker 16: I'm looking at it now. Yeah, it looks like the modern day suburban. Okay, Well, Caesar Milan, he's you know, carting around dogs all the time, and so maybe he needs that space. You know, he throws down a couple of blankets in the back seat. You know, the dogs can have some room to breathe back there. Michelle Branch, I don't know anything about her life at all except that I saw her in a photo with one of the people from the Black Keys, and she sang a song that I've already forgotten. I have to say, that's one of those songs that when it comes on, I'm like, catchy tune, sounds good, and then it gets stuck in my head in a way that upsets me, in the way that certain pop music does, where it keeps going and it won't stop, and it creates sort of a hellish experience for me. And so for that reason, I'm going to banish Michelle to an eternity in Hell.

00:31:16
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she's going to be heartbroken.

00:31:18
Speaker 16: Well, Michelle, you should have thought of that before you made a song that was good, but more so than being good, just catchy, and actually that's not always a good thing.

00:31:30
Speaker 1: I will say this about an eternity in Hell, maybe we just look at it as an experience. It's more of a trip. It's a you know, you make of it what you can. You know, it's like a bad vacation. Yes, and there's good in everything. There's probably you know, you every town has a good restaurant. I'm sure there's if you spend enough time in Hell, you're going to find you know, the little hidden spots and you know, cafes and eating.

00:31:58
Speaker 16: We've got a Chili's and you know what, Chili's is great. I ate there in high school all the time and I loved.

00:32:04
Speaker 1: It, right And you know, a lot of people don't get to go to Hell, so it's kind of a there's a lot of fomo there for a lot of people. And this is kind of to know you're going to Hell. I think that that there's some luxury to that.

00:32:20
Speaker 16: It would be freeing in a way because it's like, okay, I'm going to Hell. Well now I can really start living life to the fullest or in whatever way I want to do. I want I wanted to go on a killing spree. I can now because it doesn't matter.

00:32:36
Speaker 1: One lies in the heart of Michelle Branch. It's hard to say, Matt, you did an excellent job. Well, I'll bet I'm going to walk that back. You did a fine job. I did a fine job. I mean to be honest.

00:32:49
Speaker 16: A lot of these people mean, you know, don't come into my you know perview very often. Dame Maggie Smith again, she's the one I guess I think about the most. But if I'm being completely honest, I probably haven't thought about her in years.

00:33:03
Speaker 1: Well, you have that poster of her behind you. I can see right into your zoom. Matt, bless you, bless you, and uh yes, happy holidays, Happy Holidays. Why don't we play a lightning round of gift or a curse with Sam richardson Sam Gift or a curse faux exposed brick curse.

00:33:34
Speaker 17: So and why it's Christopher for a few reasons. First of let's not lie about what is behind the paint on our walls.

00:33:45
Speaker 7: Guys.

00:33:46
Speaker 17: Let's not get in the habit of lying about these things. Whatever the structure will make up of our home is. We'll accept that. Okay. Uh also, uh so you take you take a self in your home.

00:34:00
Speaker 7: Right.

00:34:01
Speaker 17: Somebody's like, I can't wait to come to your house and see this exposed brick.

00:34:05
Speaker 18: They get there, Now you are a liar. And even if you have it all over every wall, they're like, wait a minute, where's the dust? Where's the natural residual dust that comes from having exposed brick? It's not to be anywhere was this.

00:34:16
Speaker 7: Is this paper?

00:34:18
Speaker 18: It's not even just paper. It's like glossy. It's like glossy paper. Now you're an Now you have an enemy in your hands. Curse, it's a curse.

00:34:27
Speaker 1: Sam. I hate to hear this. What an awful answer. You're wrong, Oh fox exposed brick. You can turn any environment into your own personal Pirates of the Caribbean. You can make your home in olive garden. Look, you built, Let's say you built your house in two thousand and seven. What's stopping you from making it feel like a Mimi's cafe. Get the faux exposed brick in there. Everybody loves it. Oh, it's an absolute gift. Every home should just have endless exposed faux foe exposed brick. We love how it looks. Everybody adores it authentic. Uh, you know, it really gives a theme park feel to almost any room.

00:35:10
Speaker 14: Oh this was it was all going so well, wasn't it.

00:35:15
Speaker 1: Well, that's your opinion, and you're wrong. Full exposed brick is a gift from beginning to end. No, no, Sam, move on, I can't look. You're a sore loser. It's not my problem.

00:35:33
Speaker 17: So it was the second I go to the you have full exposed brick, and I go and I see that you have something nailed into that brick, like you're saying a painting from it.

00:35:41
Speaker 6: I'm like, how'd you do this? It's brick.

00:35:44
Speaker 9: You're a lying.

00:35:45
Speaker 6: What else is a lie in this place?

00:35:47
Speaker 1: Well, but then you at least had the fun illusion of looking at a nail right into brick for a moment in time. Your reality was one where brick could hold up a painting.

00:35:58
Speaker 7: And so then I take I carry.

00:35:59
Speaker 17: That into the real world all of a sudden, because I'm like, oh, the rules are different, all of a sudden. Now I guess I thought it was impossible. Now it's possible. I need to hang up his painting in this brick wall. I'll just go. I'll just take the one nail please, home depot. It should be good. Just the one nail. Close my credit card.

00:36:17
Speaker 1: Let me do it, Let me do it. I can do it.

00:36:18
Speaker 7: I can do it.

00:36:19
Speaker 9: I can actually do it.

00:36:19
Speaker 7: Don't worry.

00:36:20
Speaker 10: Please get off my back.

00:36:21
Speaker 19: People are coming over at seven. It's six thirty eight.

00:36:25
Speaker 7: I can do this myself.

00:36:27
Speaker 1: Well, Sam, I hate to hear it. The world hates to hear it. But you know, occasionally you're wrong, and that's fine.

00:36:34
Speaker 7: I disagree.

00:36:36
Speaker 6: I think time will tell. Time will tell them.

00:36:40
Speaker 20: When the aliens come down and they were like, please take me to your brick walls and then and then the fire will be like I have it, and they're like, oh wait a minute.

00:36:51
Speaker 19: It's gonna be embarrassing for all of us.

00:36:53
Speaker 1: Well, just know that when you come to my house, I'm going to know that you hate all of my foe exposed brick and I'm gonna be so un I'm.

00:37:00
Speaker 6: Going to say it, what is this.

00:37:04
Speaker 14: In your homes?

00:37:13
Speaker 2: Now?

00:37:13
Speaker 1: It's do or die? Gift a curse with Jessica Gow Jessica.

00:37:18
Speaker 19: Oh Bridger, you do plicit as bitch.

00:37:22
Speaker 1: So nice to see you.

00:37:24
Speaker 19: I can't wait for this.

00:37:25
Speaker 21: I was so excited to have this opportunity to redeem myself because the last time I was on your show, I was not told the full rules of this game.

00:37:35
Speaker 1: Well you were. You were absolutely told everything you needed to know, and you drop the ball. You can't keep just projecting your failures onto me. So this is going to be a do or die and we'll see who's who comes out on top.

00:37:51
Speaker 22: Here.

00:37:51
Speaker 19: Yeah, let's see if good or evil triumphs today.

00:37:56
Speaker 1: Okay, well, here we go. It's gift or a curse. Gift you a curse confetti in birthday cards?

00:38:03
Speaker 19: Oh obvious curse? Are you kidding?

00:38:06
Speaker 1: And why?

00:38:08
Speaker 10: Well you know.

00:38:09
Speaker 21: Here's the thing, though, it depends on your POV. It's obvious it's a gift for a vengeful person like myself, because I will absolutely send that to only people that I hate because it'll ruin It won't just ruin their day, it'll ruin their lives, especially if they have like carpet or something, you know, depending on where they open it. But if you are on the receiving end, it's of course a curse. You might as well send them a grenade.

00:38:32
Speaker 1: Well, look, you can't just say both sides here. I need. I need a definitive answer from Jessica.

00:38:40
Speaker 6: Goo.

00:38:40
Speaker 19: Fine, it's a curse.

00:38:43
Speaker 1: Oh, I hate to hear it. You've lost the game.

00:38:49
Speaker 19: A gift because you're on the giving end.

00:38:52
Speaker 1: That's why I love to watch somebody open that card. The smaller confetti the better. Just packet full. There's an explosion, got a mess.

00:39:04
Speaker 21: You just wait till I test out this answer. You will be receiving a confetti card from me every day for the rest of your very short life.

00:39:16
Speaker 1: Well this just you're giving me a little heads up. I will never carpet my home.

00:39:21
Speaker 21: And you had all the swatches picked house just shag carpeting from wall to wall.

00:39:28
Speaker 1: My carpet chopper is going to be so disappointed to hear this. But you know she and I were going to part ways at some point, so.

00:39:36
Speaker 21: Because you'd sent her a confetti card. I bet that's why you were gonna park way.

00:39:42
Speaker 1: You've absolutely lost the game, and it's a horrible way to end twenty twenty one. The listener's heart goes out to you. My heart goes out to you. But happy holidays.

00:39:54
Speaker 21: I can't wait to see you sing a different tune when you receive a special package from me.

00:40:05
Speaker 1: Well, the party continues. I'm having the time of my life. We're all in a real holiday mood, and we're going to walk over to our dear friend, Caroline Goldfarb. Caroline, how are the holidays treating you?

00:40:21
Speaker 10: My Hanukah was festive?

00:40:22
Speaker 23: Thanks for asking, fantastic and I'm so excited to see you in this wonderful holiday season.

00:40:30
Speaker 1: Now, are you ready to play gift or a curse?

00:40:33
Speaker 10: So ready?

00:40:34
Speaker 1: Gift or a curse? Cottage cheese?

00:40:39
Speaker 16: Oh?

00:40:39
Speaker 1: And I should say that's from a listener. A listener named Sarah Jane suggested that.

00:40:45
Speaker 10: Cottage cheese. It's so funny you ask me this because it just so happens.

00:40:51
Speaker 23: I'm going through kind of a cottage cheese phase right now.

00:40:55
Speaker 10: So I'm going to say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it's a gift. Am I allowed to say why?

00:41:02
Speaker 1: I will? I hope you'll say why. You can't just leave the party with that of a it's a gift and then you leave, I mean the door slams.

00:41:10
Speaker 23: It would be like the ultimate party foul, just screaming cottage cheese is a gift and walking out that it's.

00:41:16
Speaker 1: Actually a fantastic exit.

00:41:19
Speaker 10: We call that. Some people do an Irish goodbye. I do the cottage goodbye.

00:41:23
Speaker 23: And it was just screaming about cottage cheese and leaving the party.

00:41:26
Speaker 1: And then she died on her way home.

00:41:29
Speaker 10: She choked on cottage cheese.

00:41:31
Speaker 23: Loose cottage cheese that she carries.

00:41:33
Speaker 10: In her pockets. So weird. Anyway, she was kind of cool, I guess, so cottage cheese to me.

00:41:41
Speaker 23: Of course, we all know it's kind of the ugly stepsister of the dairy community.

00:41:47
Speaker 10: You know, milk gets milk gets its dew. Yogurt of course, gets its flowers. Sour cream has a spot in the dairy pantheon.

00:41:56
Speaker 23: But cottage cheese is I think it's under raided. Uh, And it doesn't. It doesn't get its praise. Let me sing its praises for a moment. Cottage cheese, pound for pound, probably the best.

00:42:08
Speaker 10: Source of dairy based protein for my money, the protein. Look at the macros on cottage cheese. Next time you're at the grocery store, do me a favor. Read down that list.

00:42:17
Speaker 23: Tell me you don't see a shocking amount of protein, and you can.

00:42:22
Speaker 10: Really it's a great base for me. You can throw some you know, in the same.

00:42:27
Speaker 23: Way yogurt can be your parfe based. Try it with cottage cheese next time. Put some jam on it, put some nuts for crunch, you know. Don't be afraid to take a walk on the cottage side. Is all I have to say.

00:42:40
Speaker 10: Cottage core.

00:42:41
Speaker 16: Yeah, that's what I'm all about this holiday season, Caroline.

00:42:46
Speaker 1: I could listen to you talk about cottage cheese for another hour and a half. This has been only got forty.

00:42:52
Speaker 10: Five more minutes on it. If you want me to.

00:42:54
Speaker 1: You're starting up a PowerPoint. Look we can. I'm happy to continue talking about this because I'm I'm obviously I need to reveal right now the correct answer. Yes, it's a gift. We love cottage cheese in this household. There what is there not to like about it? It makes me feel like I'm bored in the seventies. I've got my diet cheese that I'm eating out of the fridge. It tastes fantastic. I think that, you know, from about two thousand and one till three years ago, no one was eating cottage cheese. I think it's making its way back into our refrigerators. We're realizing it's a snack for literally any time of the day. You can have it in the morning, you can have it at midnight. You can also I may have covered this subject on this podcast before, but whatever happened to the midnight snack? I feel like the midnight snack was a plot device in every nineties commercial and then it vanished from memory. We've got to bring back the midnight snack. Cottage cheese.

00:43:52
Speaker 23: The midnight snack I think got replaced by the ambient snack, and it's time to bring back the midnight snack. And I do want to speak to your point, Bridger. Cottage cheese is cyclical.

00:44:03
Speaker 10: It's really you know, trends may come and go, but cottage cheese is forever. You know.

00:44:10
Speaker 23: You might think it's out, but don't think it's out until you count it back in.

00:44:14
Speaker 1: You know, it's absolutely packed with protein. Look, I don't like to put a sweet thing on it. You're bringing up this putting jam on it. I don't know that I can cross that line. I like it more as a savory snack.

00:44:25
Speaker 10: Did I blow your mind for a second.

00:44:27
Speaker 23: I grew up in a freaky cottage cheese choice household where.

00:44:32
Speaker 10: My dad would make something I'll always say it the curse of all curses.

00:44:37
Speaker 23: With cottage sheet an abominable cottage cheese snack he would combine.

00:44:43
Speaker 10: He claims he learned this growing up in the sixties.

00:44:46
Speaker 23: I guess so a savory cottage cheese snack, cottage cheese, ketchup salsa mixed together until it's like a reddish, chunky.

00:45:00
Speaker 10: Bits of salta world that I've been to, a tortilla. I have seen him.

00:45:03
Speaker 24: Eat it many times.

00:45:06
Speaker 10: Crazy.

00:45:07
Speaker 1: That's not just a desperate snack for him. That's something he was doing regularly.

00:45:11
Speaker 9: He craves it.

00:45:12
Speaker 10: It's one of his favorites. All I'm saying is it's versatile. Don't be afraid to add your own spin to it. Bridger likes it plain. I like it a little sweet. My dad likes it with all kinds of things. It's chunky too.

00:45:25
Speaker 9: We can't get that texture.

00:45:26
Speaker 10: Come on, it's funky.

00:45:29
Speaker 1: No, there's no other food that resembles it.

00:45:32
Speaker 9: I can't think of one.

00:45:33
Speaker 1: Not in the dairy category. Any other dairy thing that's that texture has gone rotten smooth.

00:45:39
Speaker 10: Oh right too, I'm so ober dairy being smooth. It's like obvious choice.

00:45:44
Speaker 1: Much Yeah, cottage cheese really pushes it out there. Sometimes yogurt will get into a weird textural thing, and we don't want that to have a texture. We want a smoother yogurt. Cottage cheese just kind of owns it. It makes me feel like I should get on my exercit.

00:46:00
Speaker 3: You know.

00:46:01
Speaker 9: It's like I'm lumpy.

00:46:03
Speaker 10: Get used to it. That's cottage Cheese's motto.

00:46:07
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you've I've had a feeling. I saw cottage cheese there. I thought Caroline is going to have the exact answer that everyone needs to hear here. And hopefully this is just the beginning of cottage cheese just becoming kind of a permanent thing in everyone's life. We don't need it to fall out of fashion again.

00:46:27
Speaker 23: No, don't let cottage cheese go the way of bell bottoms in the dinosaurs.

00:46:32
Speaker 10: Open your arms this holiday's season. Let it into your fridge, Fridger. I'm so happy you asked me.

00:46:39
Speaker 23: And it really speaks to what the Hanukkah and holiday season is all about for me.

00:46:43
Speaker 10: And that's bringing your a game to your friend's podcasts. And I think I did just that.

00:46:56
Speaker 1: Okay, here comes the next person that's willing to gift or a curse? Do or Die? It's Lizzie Cooperman. Lizzie, welcome to the helpit, Ridger.

00:47:07
Speaker 25: I can't believe I'm here. I'm loving every minute of it.

00:47:11
Speaker 1: You're glowing, You're looking out on the ocean.

00:47:14
Speaker 25: I am coming to you live from La Joya behind me. Some gorgeous grainy beach photography. Could use a Paris filter.

00:47:26
Speaker 1: Lizzie, We're gonna play do or die, gift or a curse? Are you prepared?

00:47:32
Speaker 25: I mean as ready as I'll ever be.

00:47:35
Speaker 1: Okay, Oh, this is from a listener. Someone named Landon has suggested gift or a curse passion fruit.

00:47:44
Speaker 25: Okay, I'm going to say as a flavor, curse passion fruit. You're neither here nor there. As I say this, I realize I literally just voiced passion fruit in a nice tea commercial. Ah, so crazy, And I'm going at a curse. I was passion fruit. So this is actually a self hating decision I'm making.

00:48:09
Speaker 1: This is wild.

00:48:10
Speaker 25: I can't believe said this. What I'm thinking about is in Lacroix. Whenever I get passion fruit, I feel like I'm drinking gum.

00:48:17
Speaker 1: Right, Although I would say with almost all Lacroix. I feel like I'm drinking like someone left a piece of gum at the bottom of a can. Do you really Yeah? I find it fine. It's not an offensive drink, but the flavor is barely there.

00:48:34
Speaker 23: Hmm.

00:48:35
Speaker 1: So Lizzie you feel so Your answer, though, is curse.

00:48:39
Speaker 25: Yes, pat iced tea aside passion fruit.

00:48:43
Speaker 1: Curse, Lizzie, incredible, it's I think passion fruit is a curse. And I'll tell you why. Every third item that is baked on The Great British Bakeoff is a passion fruit flat. I've heard something. Why is this happening? Why is passion fruit always the go to fruit for desserts? The British have got They've They're hooked, and I we've got to It feels like such an easy choice at this point on the bake Off. No one really knows what passion fruit tastes like. I can't. Well, yeah, I'll say that no one knows, and so I don't want to know. I don't want you know, a cake with a passion fruit curd or a pie with a passion fruit slime.

00:49:29
Speaker 25: I've never heard you say the word curd before, and my ears are just adjusted.

00:49:35
Speaker 6: And my soul.

00:49:37
Speaker 1: I don't know that I've ever said curd aloud. This may be a historical moment.

00:49:42
Speaker 25: It felt like a first. The passion fruit is just in my life. I feel like it's a cover up for a flavor. They couldn't decide what to call it. They were just like, I don't know, what do you think this tastes like? Passing it around the room. They're like, tastes like spoil Kiwi.

00:50:01
Speaker 1: Maybe boiled or spoiled?

00:50:03
Speaker 25: Oh, spoiled?

00:50:05
Speaker 1: Spoiled? And is it like a slimy texture?

00:50:09
Speaker 25: I actually would not be able to pick one out of a crowd.

00:50:11
Speaker 6: Wow.

00:50:13
Speaker 1: Oh, I would not be able.

00:50:15
Speaker 25: To nail a passion fruit down if I saw one running free in the forest.

00:50:21
Speaker 1: Lizzie did a fantastic job. And I'm so happy to have you here for the holidays, and I hope you have a wonderful season.

00:50:30
Speaker 25: Thank you for having me.

00:50:36
Speaker 1: Now we're going to be playing gift Master with a guest that I adore. It's Jenny Yang. Jenny. I'm going to name three potential gifts things you can give away, yeah, and three celebrities. You're gonna tell me which gift you'll give, which celebrity, and why the three gifts you're going to be giving are going to be an uneventful road trip. So just a road trip where almost nothing happens.

00:51:00
Speaker 26: Yep.

00:51:00
Speaker 1: A job at Not Scary Farm. So this is the Halloween version of Not Sperry Farm. So it's kind of a temporary position and they're probably going to be kind of spooking people.

00:51:10
Speaker 26: That's right.

00:51:10
Speaker 1: It's a theme park. Yeah, it's a theme park that's also a haunted house. I've never been. I wouldn't mind trying it. And number three is a pizza stone. Are you familiar with a pizza stone?

00:51:20
Speaker 26: I'm very familiar with the pizza.

00:51:22
Speaker 1: Giant rock you put in your oven and heat up and then throw pizza on. Yeah, flat slab right right. And you'll be giving them to the following celebrities. Let's see here, how about you'll be giving them to Machine Gun Kelly Okay, MGK, Nancy Pelosi, Nancy Pelosi, and R. L Stein.

00:51:42
Speaker 26: R el Stein. I would imagine that R. L Stein would excel as a staff member of Not Scary Farm.

00:51:49
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think that's an incredible connection right there. He could almost be like the designer. He could be the designer. I feel like there's a collab waiting to happen. Somebody's dropped a live immersive horror experience curated and designed by R. L.

00:52:07
Speaker 26: Stein.

00:52:07
Speaker 1: I believe you're master of Horror.

00:52:09
Speaker 26: Yeah, so I believe that he would be an excellent staff member for that experience. I would say between Nancy Pelosi and Machine Gun Kelly, which I truly still don't understand why we're talking about machine Gun Kelly so much.

00:52:22
Speaker 16: I don't.

00:52:23
Speaker 26: I think I even try to look him up on Wikipedia, and I still I'm confused about why we're talking about him, other than the fact that he's dating publicly trying to be very sexy with, you know, a hot lady. Wait, who is it again that he's dating or Megan Fox?

00:52:37
Speaker 1: Megan Fox?

00:52:38
Speaker 26: Okay, right, it's just you know, they like to lick tongues for the photos. It's you know, it's a whole thing. But I don't know what he does. So machine Gun Kelly and Nancy Pelosi uneventful road trip or piece of stone, Okay, I would like to see machine Gun Kelly sent off to nowhere. So I think I would send him on a sort of uneventful trip. I truly do believe he needs to take a break from the limelight right now.

00:53:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, just if we could just like waste it. It's just like give him a task that doesn't nobody gets to pay any attention to.

00:53:14
Speaker 26: Yeah, just a mundane trip somewhere to Santa Clarita.

00:53:17
Speaker 1: Right, put him in a subaru and send him cross country. Yeah, nothing happens, right, we don't hear about it. Yeah, he's just eating truck stop food.

00:53:25
Speaker 26: It's great.

00:53:26
Speaker 1: I bet he's already eating trucks stop food. That's the one thing I know about machine gun Kelly is his diety.

00:53:30
Speaker 26: He looks like he looks like he does right, right, and that's his vibe.

00:53:33
Speaker 1: Most of the food he eats comes from like under a heat lamp in a gas station.

00:53:38
Speaker 26: I mean, I know too much, but Megan Fox cooks vegetarian food and vegan food for the both of them.

00:53:42
Speaker 9: Oh, he'll eat healthier.

00:53:45
Speaker 1: I stand corrected.

00:53:46
Speaker 26: Machine? But is that does he go by machine? Does machine a machine gun? Or is it machine middle named gun? Last name Kelly? Is it machine first named gun Kelly Mashie.

00:53:57
Speaker 6: I don't know.

00:53:57
Speaker 1: It's hard to say.

00:53:58
Speaker 26: I don't know. So I would send him off to a boring road trip because we don't need him in the spotlight anymore. Really, And then I feel like Nancy Pelosi, I would love it for her to enjoy just a nice, crusty pizza at her leisure because she probably lives a very stressful life.

00:54:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, she probably does leave and maybe it's time to warm up. Just a stone in the oven, yeah, throw some dough in the air. So you see her tossing pizza dough.

00:54:27
Speaker 26: Yeah, some yeasty dough.

00:54:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just like an old Italian chef. Yeah, and you see Italian.

00:54:33
Speaker 26: I mean yeah, Pelosi probably Italian. So it all kind of you know what. This is not a racial profiling decision, but it is truly because I feel like she probably avoids carbs because she likes to live a healthy life as this sort of high powered politician who's always on the go. But I do feel like with the level of stress she's under, she deserves.

00:54:55
Speaker 1: Carbs absolutely, and I can see her this could be a late in life pivot to Pelosi's Pizzas.

00:55:04
Speaker 6: To happen.

00:55:04
Speaker 26: I would totally eat it at Pelosi's pizzas.

00:55:07
Speaker 1: Nancy, You've got it waiting for you, I mean, given you we've given Nancy a gift here. I mean, she's probably got plenty of money already, but why not make some more off of the pizza excellently played? What thank you excellently?

00:55:20
Speaker 6: I live for that.

00:55:21
Speaker 26: I live for verbal affirmation, affirmation giving.

00:55:24
Speaker 1: Disappointed at all.

00:55:25
Speaker 26: Gift giving is not one of my top skills in terms of just now.

00:55:29
Speaker 1: But I mean, maybe you just need to be giving more gifts to celebrities. Okay, maybe, okay, Well, the party rages on. I'm you know, I'm feeling great, and you're feeling great. We're just all having a blast. And now we're going to talk to Jen Spyra Jen holidays.

00:55:59
Speaker 9: Thank you so much, sir. Happy holidays to you.

00:56:02
Speaker 1: How have your holidays? Ben?

00:56:04
Speaker 10: Thank you for asking.

00:56:06
Speaker 27: You know, my I celebrated the final line of Honikah. I celebrated it very very modestly. Well, I you know, I only because I was sort of traveling. I only got back in the apartment for the last night and that's where the menora was, so I lit it. But unfortunately, and it's a good thing that my husband literally just stepped out the door. We quickly quarreled about the way that I set up the manora and that I was going to get wax all over the credenza and he was going to have to fucking clean up. So that actually it ended up with me very quickly blowing out all the candles, and it was very sad.

00:56:48
Speaker 9: And then like later, secretly I realized.

00:56:53
Speaker 10: So actually it was a very It was very.

00:56:56
Speaker 9: Sad, very sad.

00:56:58
Speaker 1: On I got this hidden honka. You celebrated exactly well, Jen, I think we should play gift or a curse, do or die? Uh, You've got one chance, Jen, Spira, Gift or a curse? Salsa bars.

00:57:19
Speaker 27: Okay, I'm immediately saying curse, and I don't even know what we're talking about, because are you talking about a place you go to salsa dance?

00:57:31
Speaker 1: I am talking about in a Mexican restaurant, essentially a small buffet featuring a variety of salsas which you self serve, pouring into traditionally a little plastic cup, taking back to your table to dump all over your food.

00:57:49
Speaker 27: All right, listen, I am very boldly going to say what I know will be the wrong answer, because I know what you must think. I'm going to say the gift printer, because I am all about because I am all about the buffet life anytime it has offered more choices at my fingertips where I don't have to have an interaction with someone where I need to explain why I want something, so like the sovereignty, the autonomy, and the variety, even though actually when I when you first described it, I'm like, I hate that idea. It's gross. It actually kind of grosses me out. I don't even want to be in a place where there is a salsa bar. I don't like any of it. But ultimately I have to come down on yes to choice and yes to freedom because I am a daughter of George Washington and I love freedom. So fuck you Britsar because I know you think it's I know you think it's a GURTs or am I wrong?

00:58:49
Speaker 1: Jenra oh a chill, A chill is in the air? Salsa bars. Look, you've mounted an excellent defense and now I think what you're about to hear is going to be very surprising, and it's going to be something you remember for a long time, and it'll probably be something that kind of is the subtext of every one of our interactions moving forward. Salsa bars are a curse because I adore, adore a salsa bar. I love to choose my salsas. I love to have the control over how much of the red sauce, of the salsaverde, of the pico di gaiyo, of the pickled carrots and jalapinios that I get. That said, I don't know that they exist anymore. I think, because of the pandemic, we may never I think they may be extinct and therefore a curse, a curse that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

00:59:54
Speaker 9: Preacher.

00:59:54
Speaker 27: I found this topic psychotic because, like, what you're saying.

01:00:01
Speaker 9: Is a Chipotle? Like I've seen Chipotle.

01:00:03
Speaker 27: What fucking restaurant do you go to where that has a salsa bar in it?

01:00:07
Speaker 10: Like?

01:00:07
Speaker 9: Is this just an la thing? Are you about Ponderosa? Like seriously, I don't know what you're.

01:00:13
Speaker 25: Talking about, and I like, what are you talking about?

01:00:16
Speaker 1: I guess we should, we should say Jenna's in New York, where Mexican food is good. Mexican food is hard to come by.

01:00:25
Speaker 9: I guess you're right, because you're.

01:00:27
Speaker 1: You're also you're you're you're just playing a huge ignorance here. What are you saying that's a Chipotle? Chipotle. The employee is deciding how.

01:00:35
Speaker 10: Much exactly exactly, no, no, and.

01:00:37
Speaker 27: Okay, listen, it's not a salsa bar. Well, Bridge, So I wasn't a Chipotle today. My husband eats there every single days. How he stays alive, He goes and gets.

01:00:45
Speaker 1: For every single friend day.

01:00:48
Speaker 9: That's amazing. I love that you gets that every day.

01:00:51
Speaker 19: That's great, it is.

01:00:52
Speaker 27: But Bridge are like, listen, you're talking to a girl that loves a Golden Corral, that loves a ponderosa. You're talking to someone who fucking I like those very very low bar for entry buffet, family style buffet for let's say, a certain class of people.

01:01:12
Speaker 9: Okay, I like that that.

01:01:13
Speaker 27: Bridge are like, I actually have never been in a Mexican restaurant that has a salca bar.

01:01:17
Speaker 1: You're talking about this is shocking a.

01:01:19
Speaker 27: Casual and listen in in La like you are you talking about.

01:01:23
Speaker 1: Bridger and no long about Terry's Mexican Grill in Studio City. They had a beautiful salsa bar which I can't access. I have to ask the employees for extra salsa over and over, making me a nuisance. I now have this. It's like my wife is dead and I'm just thinking about her all the time exactly.

01:01:42
Speaker 27: So really you're you said, dude, it's a curse, but really it's such a gift that it's just like that. It's it's yeah, it's absence is a curse.

01:01:52
Speaker 1: It's absence is a curse. I returned to its grave and just cry and talk to it.

01:01:58
Speaker 9: Oh my god.

01:01:59
Speaker 27: Well, thank you for teaching me about Salsabars and about you and I I'm ashamed.

01:02:06
Speaker 9: I hope I didn't.

01:02:07
Speaker 27: I hope I didn't, like, you know, get canceled because I seem so like insensitive, but I didn't know about this type of restaurant.

01:02:16
Speaker 1: Well, you're only canceled in my heart.

01:02:18
Speaker 9: Thank you.

01:02:19
Speaker 27: And also, I'm not even trying to belittle or make fun of the idea of cancel culture. I don't know why I keep saying words and talking, but I'm not trying to even say that cancel culture is silly.

01:02:29
Speaker 9: I'm actually not saying that.

01:02:33
Speaker 1: You you're stumbling through my party, just saying nonsense. It's embarrassing. Other guests are uncomfortable. I'm saying I had to invite her. I didn't have any choice.

01:02:46
Speaker 6: We go back.

01:02:48
Speaker 1: I know I'm trying to push her out of my life, and now she's here ranting about Salsabars I clearly can't even picture in her own mind.

01:02:55
Speaker 9: I know, I'm so I'm so simple.

01:02:58
Speaker 1: Well, Jen, I hate, I hate the fact that you have embarrassed yourself, but I do love that you've learned.

01:03:06
Speaker 9: Thank you. I have learned.

01:03:08
Speaker 10: I have learned a lot.

01:03:10
Speaker 1: All learning should take place through embarrassment. That's kind of my policy.

01:03:16
Speaker 9: I completely agree. It really does teach a lesson.

01:03:20
Speaker 27: That feeling, that feeling inside, the heat that rises it imparts a lesson.

01:03:25
Speaker 1: Well, I hope you can take that lesson with you into the new year and just a big happy holidays in general. I just love you.

01:03:33
Speaker 9: I agree.

01:03:34
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you were here.

01:03:36
Speaker 9: Thank you so much for having me.

01:03:37
Speaker 27: And I am sorry that I embarrassed you.

01:03:42
Speaker 1: That you embarrassed me. No, no, no, no, I lead too pure of a life to feel others embarrassment. Indeed, indeed, well the festivities can take you. We're having a fantastic time and things could not go wrong if we tried, especially now because we've got John Milstein. John, are you ready for do or die? Gift or a curse?

01:04:14
Speaker 14: As ready as I'll ever be I'm excited to be your celebrating Christmas as one of my favorite I hope this is okay, say little elves.

01:04:23
Speaker 1: John, I need you to be serious here, Okay, Sorry, there's no room for error.

01:04:29
Speaker 14: Okay, got it.

01:04:30
Speaker 1: I'm gonna name one thing. You're gonna tell me if it's a gift or a curse and why, and then we're gonna find out how the rest of your year is going to play out.

01:04:38
Speaker 14: Okay, based on whether I succeed or.

01:04:41
Speaker 1: Not exactly Wow, Okay, gift or a curse. Houses decorated with lights that flash and sync with a song.

01:04:53
Speaker 14: So this is a product that is sold and it just is able to take in the sound of a song that's playing and make the lights flash with the song.

01:05:02
Speaker 1: John, I don't know the science behind these houses.

01:05:05
Speaker 14: You're an audio engineer or a lighting engineer.

01:05:10
Speaker 1: Basically, what happens is somebody goes into the garage and gathers up whatever lights they have, they get on the roof, they decorate the house for their holiday of choosing. Then somehow it gets connected to some sort of audio device and then suddenly the lights are flashing the music's playing. It's kind of a little ballet that they've constructed on their house. Actually, Analyse is sending me a YouTube, but let me look at this really quick Christmas lights. It is Oh my god.

01:05:47
Speaker 14: This is far more involved than I ever could have imagined.

01:05:51
Speaker 1: This is way beyond what I thought it was.

01:05:54
Speaker 14: Wow, this is It looks like this is someone's entire year salary went into their homes for these. Okay, so after watching the video, I now even have a better sense of how extra this this sort of display is. This is the ultimate goal is definitely to get on Ellen, and pretty much everybody who buys this kit thinks that they'll be able to get on Ellen. Although these look like they're custom, I mean, it looks like in order to get this you have to like really talk to a lighting manufacturer.

01:06:29
Speaker 1: You have got to go to a at least a tech school to learn how to put together one of these displays.

01:06:37
Speaker 14: This is George Lucas made Star Wars, and then some of the people who helped make Star Wars years and years from then have veil out this sort of technology to exist. But it all began on Star Wars.

01:06:49
Speaker 1: So what do you think, gift or a curse?

01:06:52
Speaker 14: It's a clear gift to me. I mean, I don't see anything negative about driving by one of these houses. You know, you don't have to you probably it's a thing where you see it once or twice. It's not very likely that this house would be next years and you'd always have to be watching the full ballet light ballet happening beginning to add which seems to be like an hour long playlist. So yeah, I'm going to enjoy any type of Christmas lights that I see on a house. And if they're going this extra mile to make it sonic like I like it even more so it's a gift.

01:07:31
Speaker 4: John.

01:07:32
Speaker 1: I love to hear this from you. I absolutely think they're a gift for so many reasons. Look, I'll take a flashing light just like a broken light at a seven eleven flashing I'm thrilled to see it. It brings a party atmosphere. IE's like a horsefly in that sense.

01:07:48
Speaker 14: You're like a moth.

01:07:50
Speaker 1: And I love to be driving down the street and a street lamp is kind of just going off and and then you bring in the Christmas element to the holiday element. It's creating a traffic jam in neighborhoods that I find very funny. You know that some neighbor is furious about it. It's an active aggression. No matter what you do.

01:08:14
Speaker 14: It creates a sort of entrenches hierarchies in neighborhoods. Who is sort of the king of that own Yeah? Yeah, so that's good.

01:08:26
Speaker 1: And any, as you said, any naked attempt to end up on Ellen or the Kelly Clarkson show, we support, We're behind it.

01:08:35
Speaker 10: No.

01:08:35
Speaker 14: I feel like a lot of the attempts to get on Ellen Kelly Clarkson involve making a child do something that maybe they don't want to do, a child being used as some sort of prop So this is a child children are not taking advantage of to make this.

01:08:52
Speaker 1: Ellen, right. I assume there's probably a decent amount of child labor. Dad is out the lights and the kids have to spend six saturdays in a row putting up the lights. But at least they're not on camera. Right, John, you did a fantastic job. I mean, you nailed it.

01:09:10
Speaker 14: Oh my gosh, one shot like this is This is probably the most higher pressure environment I'll ever be in.

01:09:15
Speaker 1: Oh I've seen several people just absolutely break down in tears. We're not even gonna be able to release that audio careers could have been ruined. Wow, do you have any holiday wishes you'd like to you know, send to loved ones listeners.

01:09:34
Speaker 14: You know, I say, get out there and travel. You know we've been, we've been under lockdown. You have your vaccine, maybe you have your booster. It's time to start living our lives again. Like I'm going as close to anti vaxx, and it's close to it. No, but seriously, I don't know. Yeah, enjoy Christmas like, enjoy it, enjoy I'm so glad that we get to be with our families and travel and stuff like that.

01:10:01
Speaker 1: Again, that's a real sweet message, John, and I appreciate that. You know, I feel like you've kind of, after not losing the game, you've got a new lease on life.

01:10:12
Speaker 7: Yeah, I was.

01:10:13
Speaker 14: I was prepared to, yeah, be one of those people in tears with audio that has to be burned. But yeah, although you know, I feel like I feel like I'm good at this game. Like I feel like if you were to throw me three more, I get them, all right.

01:10:27
Speaker 6: I don't know.

01:10:28
Speaker 1: I tempting fate absolutely.

01:10:32
Speaker 14: And I know that you have a long list of people you have to get to, so I know I want have to deliver on that promise, but just let the listeners know that you know I would continue to win.

01:10:41
Speaker 1: Well, I'm not gonna you know, my generous heart is not going to let you embarrass yourself with a loss here. I want you to have a happy holiday season. I want you to go into twenty twenty two with your head held high. And so I'm gonna let you.

01:10:56
Speaker 7: Thank you.

01:10:56
Speaker 1: Richer, our next contestant, is Fantastic and also holds the record for giving me the most amount of gifts on this podcast to this very day. She co hosts The Fantastic Podcast at Decartes. It's Kulop Vlaisock.

01:11:18
Speaker 9: Hello, I'm so excited.

01:11:20
Speaker 2: Last time we spent I don't know, two hours together, let's go for four four hours.

01:11:26
Speaker 1: Well, too bad, Culop. This is do or die. I feel like you're already trying to get ahead of the game. Last time you got two out of three and we ended up with we really came to blows over badgers. This is do or die gift or a curse. So you've got one chance to end the year on a good note.

01:11:43
Speaker 2: Okay, and this one thing we can talk about for a long time.

01:11:51
Speaker 1: All right, here we go. Gift or a curse? Appetizers with an odd number of food items. You know, you're getting like your five month to realistics.

01:12:01
Speaker 2: That's a curse because if you're not alone and you're with one other person, like I want things to be fair, you know, like equal pay.

01:12:15
Speaker 1: Equal pay and appetizers.

01:12:18
Speaker 8: And hot apps.

01:12:21
Speaker 9: Isn't that why we marched.

01:12:26
Speaker 1: Cool up? You're wrong of appetizers on a plate is absolutely a gift. When that plate of five chicken wings gets placed in front of you, there's an immediate tension. It brings a nice natural drama to the table. Suddenly everyone's wondering what's going to happen unless there are five people, But then everyone's getting the smallest portion, the beautiful just thrill of thinking how are we going to split this? Or who is going to be the greedy little who takes the final one. They're absolutely a gift. It's a free gift from the restaurant. They're saying, here's a little spark for your evening pressure.

01:13:11
Speaker 2: Not all of us live your sort of knives out mentality where all quadrants of your life need to be filled with this drama and intrigue and Chris Evans in a gorgeous cable knit like that's not for everybody.

01:13:28
Speaker 1: Bridger, Well, it's because I think a lot of people haven't tried. Once they do, once they get this high octane lifestyle that I'm kind of just always soaking in, They're going to realize what was I doing with the last few decades. I've wasted so much of my life? True love, I'm so sorry to hear that you're ending the year not only losing the game, but then desn'tally just cling clying to succeed, trying to convince me of anything but the truth. You know this does not bode well for twenty twenty two.

01:14:02
Speaker 9: For you, just for me. Can I pull you down as well?

01:14:07
Speaker 1: Nobody pulls me down, but I hold on to an ankle and you can kick.

01:14:18
Speaker 2: As much as I know you love to live at such a heightened, tension filled existence, I actually don't want you to be harmed.

01:14:28
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Happy holidays, really happy holidays, God bless us everyone. Okay, well we're going to continue here with our next guest contestant, someone who I adore. What a person to spend the holidays with. It's Naomi ex Perican, Naomi, it's time for gift. You're a curse, do or Die thrill Zone. I'm really ready addition gift course. Yes, now, you were the first person to ever win this game. Wow, I didn't do that. Yes, I think about four people have now won. But considering that we've done eighty something episodes, you're in rare company with three people I can't remember.

01:15:19
Speaker 24: Perfect and that's exactly how it should be. Me and three nobody's.

01:15:23
Speaker 1: Absolutely faceless people. Well, so you know this is very high stakes for you, So I just want you to be more careful than ever. Kind of just look into whatever strength you used before.

01:15:37
Speaker 6: Et cetera.

01:15:39
Speaker 24: Yep, yep, yep, you're right. I have a title to defend you haven't. Yes, I'm gonna get right. I'm gonna get I'm gonna connect to a higher power right now to truly make sure that the spirit moves me in the right direction exactly.

01:15:52
Speaker 1: And let's let's just get into it. Gift or a curse. Saying my pleasure instead of your welcome.

01:16:01
Speaker 24: Hmmm hmmm, saying my pleasure instead of you're welcome. Honestly, I think that's a gift. I think that's a gift. There's something about saying my pleasure that's like, oh, so you enjoyed it too, you.

01:16:16
Speaker 1: Know what I mean.

01:16:17
Speaker 6: Now it's like, okay, cool.

01:16:18
Speaker 24: So now I don't feel like I just took I feel like I brought something to the table for you, which you know could be a lie you're telling me.

01:16:25
Speaker 1: But thank you for telling me that lie, Naomi. The streak continues, Yes, it's a gift, and I'll say, you know, what you're saying here is kind of speaks to the reason I think it's a gift. I think there's something a little perverse about saying my pleasure, saying that you've got a little happiness out out of whatever you did for someone. There's something slightly sick, something that when someone says that they're revealing something that they got something more out of it than just doing a favor.

01:16:58
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was.

01:16:59
Speaker 1: It wasn't just I'm doing this for you. It was a little I'm doing this for me. And well it's sexy, isn't it. It's a little sexy.

01:17:06
Speaker 6: It's a little sexy.

01:17:09
Speaker 1: We all need a little bit of sexiness, a little bit of just throwing us off balance when we thank someone. If you know, if my person that Chipotle says my pleasure, I'm thinking, oh no, the dynamic between me and this cashier is psychosexual.

01:17:29
Speaker 6: Oh my god.

01:17:29
Speaker 24: You know how I feel about psychosexual games, and they're one of my favorites. I believe that people are constantly playing a psychosexual game in some form or another. And because I'm sex negative, I usually don't come out on top.

01:17:41
Speaker 1: But I love them, and so I very much, yes, agree with you. I have a psychosexual game. Number two for me is a game of cat and mouse. If I can get into one of those games with the retail employee, my trip to the mall is perfect. Naomi, I can't believe it. You just keep winning this game. At some point I'm going to throw a something in the road.

01:18:03
Speaker 9: To trib you.

01:18:05
Speaker 24: I don't think you will. You want to know why, because I think that we are soul sisters. We share a mind and I think what you think. So there's no way, there's no way you can trip me up.

01:18:16
Speaker 1: It is a game of cat and mouse, it is true, or a game of cat and cat. But you know, whatever you've done it, You've ended the year on a perfect note. Thank you so much.

01:18:28
Speaker 24: Happy holidays, Happy holidays. I hope you watch my Netflix half hour.

01:18:32
Speaker 1: Watch her half hour four times. It's coming out December twenty ninth. Thank you very much.

01:18:39
Speaker 6: That is accurate.

01:18:40
Speaker 24: You should watch it four times, or just turn it on and just give it a thumbs up. You can leave the room like I really don't care if you engage with the content, but I would like you to watch it.

01:18:48
Speaker 7: You know what I'm saying.

01:18:49
Speaker 1: I didn't know you could give thumbs up on Netflix.

01:18:52
Speaker 24: Yeah, you can rate it and you give a thumbs up or a thumbs down. And it's funny because I went into everyone's Netflix queue that I had access to, and I gave a Chappelle special thumbs down just because I was like, Mom, you're giving a thumbs down. Mom's husband, you're giving a thumbs down. And but for mine, I.

01:19:10
Speaker 1: Want you to give it a thumbs up. Oh, everyone, go give her special Netflix a thumbs up and then go to bed and have dreams of whatever holiday dreams that you want. Sugar plum fairies, is that what you dream of during the holidays?

01:19:27
Speaker 24: I mean that's what I hear, you know, I dream I'm dreaming of a white Kwansa. Okay, the ones I never knew.

01:19:40
Speaker 1: Oh, I can't believe it. Here we are the final round. The holidays are still here. We're deep, deep into the episode, and our next guests are going to go head to head in a new version of Gift or a Curse and uh, it's going to be in It's going to be cutthroat and the results could be devastating. It's Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Heart start. Are you ready for Gift or a Curse?

01:20:12
Speaker 16: Yeah?

01:20:13
Speaker 9: And I'm filled with electricity.

01:20:14
Speaker 6: Yes.

01:20:15
Speaker 1: Let me explain how this is going to work. You two Gift or a Curse. We've played it dozens and dozens of times on the show. You know, past guests are kind of competing with each other psychically. This is the first in person physical competition of this game. So I'm going to name three things, and you're both going to tell me if they're a gift or a curse. You're going to have to do that at the same time. This is all in fairness, So you'll tell me if they're a gift or a curse, and then I'm going to give you each a chance to defend your answer, and then I'm going to tell you the correct answer. So you know, you could both walk away total losers. You could walk away winners. You could walk away with a point here or there. This could go in any direction, so as always be careful. Are you ready?

01:21:07
Speaker 22: I have to say that just being on this show makes me not a loser, sad. I can't do anything, but when from here, that's.

01:21:15
Speaker 1: The one promise the show can guarantee. Okay, well, let's just get into it. Let's start with the first gift or a curse. Andy's mints?

01:21:26
Speaker 9: Oh ready, yes, give curse?

01:21:32
Speaker 1: Okay, and why Georgia you spoke first? Let's hear your defense.

01:21:38
Speaker 22: I love them. They conjure memories from being a kid. There was this amazing Mexican restaurant my dad would take us to called El Carmen in Los Angeles, and like, if we were well behaved, they'd give us one, like they wouldn't even charge us the quarter or whatever. And I love them.

01:22:01
Speaker 1: They're so good. I'm like offender that you don't like them? Here, Karen, we've offended Georgia and we need a defense.

01:22:09
Speaker 28: Yes, yes, because I have an olympiad mindset and I knew that getting her off her, getting on her back foot and offending her for the outset.

01:22:19
Speaker 9: Would be the way to go.

01:22:22
Speaker 28: I had two great aunts who lived across town from us growing up, Aunt Man Aunt Anne, wonderful women. They had a selection of candy at their house that was just what they liked, and the range of those that selection was applets and cottlets, which is one of the.

01:22:41
Speaker 9: Most disgusting candy.

01:22:43
Speaker 28: It barely doesn't it barely qualifies as a candy because it was jelly apple candy or apricot candy, jellies with walnut floating in it, catting sugar on top.

01:22:55
Speaker 9: That's the one candy that was available.

01:22:57
Speaker 28: The other candy was Andy's Mints, Andy's candies, and so we over ate Andy's candies to.

01:23:05
Speaker 9: Make up for the fact that we couldn't have the other one. Like it was as if there was this candy array. But we would just be like, fine, eat that. But I don't like mint.

01:23:13
Speaker 28: I think mint in candies tastes like you didn't rinse your mouth of toothpaste, and now you've moved on to chocolate.

01:23:21
Speaker 9: I don't like the combination, never have. And so we.

01:23:25
Speaker 28: Would eat Andy's candies almost against our will, because we're like.

01:23:29
Speaker 9: Well, it's the only candy. We're going to get around here, so you might as well just eat it.

01:23:33
Speaker 28: I have nothing but bad memories, although I respect a restaurant that would give it to you for free, because that's what looks really saying something about what good behavior you must have been on.

01:23:43
Speaker 22: But well, it's a great way to get three hyperactive kids.

01:23:47
Speaker 1: To fucking shut.

01:23:48
Speaker 22: The fuck up and eat their food and be quiet. The promise of an Andy's Mint at the end, which was a hard thing for my brother and sister and I to do.

01:23:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know that it worked. Yeah, okay, you too well. Point to Georgia Karen. Andy's Mints are you don't bring the memories of your aunt's House of Horrors onto my podcast? Are pure sophistication. Smoothy chocolate with a light mint, an excellent combination. I recently learned that they're a product of the Tutsi roll Company, which, I'll be honest cheapened the entire thing for me, but I'm not backing off. I would go to the soucassa Mexican restaurant, and they would have the quarter Andy's Mints. A nice little after dinner, you know, if it's between an Andy's Mint and a what is that a dinner mint, a pillow mint starlight? No, thank you, get that out the tuckture.

01:24:49
Speaker 7: They're a gress.

01:24:53
Speaker 1: Okay, well look they're an absolute gift. Yes, that's okay. We've got one to zero. There's still two chances for Karen to redeem herself.

01:25:04
Speaker 28: This next question is about applets and cottlets. I'm screwed, that's for sure.

01:25:10
Speaker 22: I have to try thoughts and truly, four old people.

01:25:15
Speaker 1: That sounds horrifying.

01:25:18
Speaker 28: It's like depression candy. Yeah, the period of time and the emotional set point.

01:25:24
Speaker 1: Yes, your aunt's house was the last place that was were seeing.

01:25:31
Speaker 9: Those boks ever sold in nineteen seventy eight?

01:25:33
Speaker 1: Yes, all right. Next up, this is a listener's suggestion. Someone named Aaron has written in gift your a curse Crocs, the footwear Crocs.

01:25:43
Speaker 9: Ooh, Karen, I say curse.

01:25:47
Speaker 1: I say cursed too.

01:25:48
Speaker 22: Well, yeah, look I can argue the other side if you want me to, because I can.

01:25:53
Speaker 1: This is about making decisions and living with them. You both said crocs. Yeah, I mean you both said curse. Yeah, correct, yes, yes, I want to hear that defense curse.

01:26:05
Speaker 22: Okay, I'm going to say gift but I'll explain why.

01:26:08
Speaker 1: Okay, Georgia, just for the record, you are in a gift. Karen is curse, Okay, Okay.

01:26:15
Speaker 28: I defend my position by saying, crocs are rubber shoes. Although cushy your feet sweat. You can't make holes big enough on those shoes.

01:26:27
Speaker 9: You can.

01:26:27
Speaker 28: You can dress them up with adorn them with jewels if you want to, which I guess the kids do these days. Be ironic and wear them with beautiful dresses. Do whatever you want, obviously, And it's the time that we're living in. But for me personally, that shoe is it needs a sock, which makes everything even worse. It's it's a goofy clown shoe that makes your sweaty feet even sweatier.

01:26:53
Speaker 9: There's no relief in the summer. It's a visual assault in the winter, all right.

01:26:59
Speaker 1: And your I don't disagree with any of that.

01:27:04
Speaker 22: And I've actually never, in my fucking life slipped a pair of They've never touched my feet in any way, shape or form. However, never, never, during the pandemic I have, I have opened my heart and my.

01:27:16
Speaker 1: Feet to slides, to athletic slides.

01:27:19
Speaker 22: So I feel like I can't judge people who like crocs. However, I will never fucking wear them. You'll never see me in a goddamn pair of Crocs.

01:27:27
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're kind of saying gift simply because who am I to judge? Right right? All right, Well, let's just put it out there. The game is tied up. I know, and I'll tell you exactly why. This is a one pair of Crocs household and my boyfriend Jim owns it, probably size twelve or thirteen pair of crocs, wow, which I will occasionally, well daily put on to you know, tool around in the yard to go get the mail. This kind of thing, which almost every single day, leads to an argument of just let me buy you a pair of Crocs, And it makes absolutely no sense. There's never a time when we both need to be wearing crocs. Why can't I just wear his crocs? If there's ever a time when we're both wearing crocs, something's gone wrong.

01:28:24
Speaker 9: Yeah, don't open the door.

01:28:25
Speaker 1: I will say this when I agree to that.

01:28:28
Speaker 22: Okay, these slides are comfortable now, vince Bo has like buys me a new pair every two months, So don't open the door to I refuse.

01:28:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm never going I don't need a pair of crocs that actually fits me. I can kind of just totter around. It's tottering a word. Do you totter in a croc?

01:28:45
Speaker 10: Yes?

01:28:45
Speaker 19: I think so.

01:28:46
Speaker 1: I think it's perfectly fair for me to wear these things, and so they're absolutely a curse for me and therefore for everyone.

01:28:59
Speaker 9: Also, your feet when you get back for the mailbox are damp.

01:29:03
Speaker 1: It's that's almost immediate. It's because it's kind of that warm rubber that your skin doesn't quite know what to do with it. Yes, it's not made for human skin, unnatural.

01:29:16
Speaker 28: It's what they make Subway sandwich bread out.

01:29:20
Speaker 9: Of as well and meat. And then that's how you can tell. It shouldn't be on your feet.

01:29:25
Speaker 1: No one should have a foot long on their feet. Okay, well it's tied up. This is very exciting. I mean, this final one. I mean, let's just be honest. Neither of you is going away with a gold star. Both lost one round, but we'll see what happens with this next thing. Gift or a curse asteroids gift gift. Okay, and why.

01:29:54
Speaker 22: Wow, space man, it's fucking vast and crazy. Then it moves around, even if it's made up, and this is a simulation, at least they made whoever made the simulation made it pretty and wondrous, you know what I'm saying.

01:30:13
Speaker 1: Right interesting defense And now, Karen.

01:30:18
Speaker 28: I based my answer first on the eighties video game Asteroids, which was a visual feast.

01:30:25
Speaker 9: Remember the lines, so many lines. But it also is this thing where, yes, space is this.

01:30:32
Speaker 28: Kind of mysterious black cloak that surrounds our world. But then there is like this kind of uh, like the universe's villain, where at any point, if a big enough one comes by, we're done for. So it keeps us very present, and I think the threat maybe keeps a lot of us in our gratitude attitude. But also it's the kind of thing where it's like, this won't go on forever, because you know they now these days, they're constantly going, oh.

01:31:02
Speaker 9: Did you hear the new asteroid that's coming by? They're always swinging by.

01:31:06
Speaker 28: So I think it really keeps us humble, and it keeps us, you know, everything right sized, and I really appreciate that. I think only asteroids have the power to do something that big.

01:31:18
Speaker 4: Wouldn't be the worst way to go.

01:31:19
Speaker 1: I will say that.

01:31:20
Speaker 22: Every time they're like it's coming, I'm like, all right, yeah s, wrap it up.

01:31:26
Speaker 1: Okay, you've both mounted interesting defenses. And before we get into this, before I reveal the correct answer, I do want to give a shout out. As long as we're talking about eighties video games, I recently played one called Streaker. Was at an arcade. I played an old game which is essentially pac Man. But you're a little naked man slowly moving around the screen. What so whoever created that video game? God bless, I had a wonderful time.

01:31:51
Speaker 9: Never heard of that.

01:31:52
Speaker 1: That's crazy, tiny naked man running around the screen trying to get away hopefully. Yeah, all that aside, we're talking about asteroids here. Sure you've both said gift. You both have one point. This could take you both to two points if you're correct. Unfortunately you're both wrong. Asteroids are twist, I mean, a curse on so many levels. Asteroids are all talk and no action. We are constantly getting threatened about asteroids smashing in the Earth. When's it gonna happen. I don't think it's ever gonna.

01:32:32
Speaker 22: Happen because the universe doesn't exist. That's fucking making.

01:32:36
Speaker 1: My point is don't tease me. Okay, don't tease me with this little threat in these narrow misses. Oh it might hit. Oh one killed all the dinosaurs. But what in the meantime, what's going on? Destroy humanity or get off the pot sort of situations What I said asteroids are, Oh, I could go on. We don't need them and we would be better off without them.

01:33:04
Speaker 4: Destroy all asteroids.

01:33:07
Speaker 1: Destroy all asteroids. Don't even destroy I don't. We've put too much energy into thinking about them.

01:33:14
Speaker 9: They're just trying to get attention all the time.

01:33:16
Speaker 28: It's really they're just a really dramatic friend from like a theater class.

01:33:21
Speaker 9: That's like I'm really having.

01:33:22
Speaker 28: A terrible weekend, and it's just like, yeah, I don't care anymore.

01:33:25
Speaker 1: I can't can't do it this time.

01:33:27
Speaker 22: You keep threatening your weekend. Your weekend's ruined, but I'm just done.

01:33:33
Speaker 1: It's all all talk real will they won't they.

01:33:39
Speaker 6: YouTube.

01:33:40
Speaker 1: I'm frankly embarrassed for both of you. It's the holidays and you both got one out of three.

01:33:47
Speaker 14: Odd f off.

01:33:50
Speaker 1: I'm so bad with the grade grading system. It's been too long since I've gotten a grade. But I'm pretty sure are thirty three percent.

01:33:55
Speaker 22: In f I think I'm ashamed of myself.

01:33:58
Speaker 28: Yeah, I feel I feel dirty. Now I'm hoping for that asteroid. Now I'm begging for that asteroid.

01:34:04
Speaker 6: Karen.

01:34:04
Speaker 22: We deserve to only wear crocs for the rest.

01:34:07
Speaker 12: Of our life.

01:34:08
Speaker 22: Sweaty feet, sweaty gross from here on, crystal pins.

01:34:13
Speaker 1: And oh all of humanity and crocs just looking to the skies for destruction.

01:34:21
Speaker 28: And then shoving Andy's mints down their throats as it just going and it for me, please.

01:34:27
Speaker 1: Mint dribbling down your Oh what a wonderful image for the holidays. Yeah, I think that's kind of what we want to think about while we're sitting around the fire, kind of resenting loved ones.

01:34:40
Speaker 9: Ford for absolutely.

01:34:45
Speaker 28: I'm eating whatever's nearby, whether it be an applet or a cutlet, just getting it done.

01:34:54
Speaker 1: And apples and what chroclets. I was going to say, do you sound like competitors to that? Feels like an off brand croc yeap, get your applets on. We're going to garden.

01:35:08
Speaker 9: Who took my cutlets?

01:35:10
Speaker 1: Now that's what they're called you too. Well, I'm I hate to send you off in such a horrible way. Twenty twenty two Will be a better year for you, guys. We'll be back.

01:35:22
Speaker 22: I'm fucking I want to get my fucking I want to get my what's it called back, my reward, my.

01:35:28
Speaker 1: Trophy, your groove. If you want to get your groove back.

01:35:31
Speaker 22: If you want us, you'll have us.

01:35:34
Speaker 28: Yeah, give us another chance sometime down the line, because I think you.

01:35:38
Speaker 1: Know I love a redemption story. Yeah, that's we deserve it, and I can offer you that in the future. But I mean, please, train take the rest of the year off. Oh okay, yes, and we'll return to the stadium at another point.

01:35:54
Speaker 9: Okay, it sounds great. We deserve this.

01:35:56
Speaker 6: That's good.

01:35:57
Speaker 1: Happy Holidays too, Holidays.

01:36:00
Speaker 22: Archer, Happy holidays.

01:36:08
Speaker 1: Who that's the last game we'll be playing on this episode of the show. I hope you've had a good time. I hope it's been a thrill ride. I hope it's been a soothing time. I hope it's done whatever you needed it to do. While maybe you're you know, sitting in the Best Buy parking lot just dreading going back to your family. I don't know. This is the end of the podcast, which we frequently you know, run into at the end of the show, and this is kind of it for the year. So I'm gonna send you off with a I'm gonna cast a little spell on you that you know, in twenty twenty two you have a you know, just a banner year, and that everything goes perfectly, that nothing bad happens. We'll move through it together, We'll fall deeper and deeper in love with each other, and you know, continue our path towards who knows what. I'm going to let you go. I love you, Happy holidays, Bye bye. I said No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced and engineered by our dear friend Annalise Nelson, and the theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I Said No Gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. You have to see the gifts. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you found me. And why not leave a review while you're there. It's really the least you could do considering everything I do for you. And if you're interested in advertising on the show, go to mideral dot com slash ads.

01:38:08
Speaker 3: And I invited you here thought, I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guess to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, your own presences presents enough, and I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare to surbey mean