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Speaker 1: Welcome in, Welcome in.

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Speaker 2: Don't be shy, guys, come on in and listen to

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Speaker 2: this week's episode of your favorite podcast, Cheek is in

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Speaker 2: Chill Now. As you can tell by the title of

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Speaker 2: this episode, we're going to be talking about something that

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Speaker 2: people have very different opinions about. I feel like every

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Speaker 2: couple takes a different approach and has different rules when

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Speaker 2: it comes to having friends of the opposite sex, and

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Speaker 2: I'm here to share mine. I know this episode is

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Speaker 2: going to get a little juicy, so let's hop right

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Speaker 2: into it. I've decided to bring my wonderful husband, Emidio,

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Speaker 2: to talk about this topic. I wanted to get a

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Speaker 2: male's perspective, and I also wanted to give you guys

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Speaker 2: a little behind the scenes look at how we handle

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Speaker 2: things in our relationship.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so let's talk about it. Okay.

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Speaker 2: So I'm going to start off by saying that when

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Speaker 2: I met Emilio, it was different in every single way.

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Speaker 2: He is seven years younger. I think you wanted to

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Speaker 2: have a different type of relationship when we first let's

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Speaker 2: go back way back, okay, four and a half years ago.

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Speaker 2: So he was kind of like, Okay, I want to

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Speaker 2: do my thing I want to go on trips because

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Speaker 2: I think the first week, wait, the first week that

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Speaker 2: we were together, I went on a trip to a wedding,

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Speaker 2: and then the week after when I came back, then

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Speaker 2: he left on a trip and he was with a

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Speaker 2: friend recording working quote unquote, and there was a bunch

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Speaker 2: of girls.

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Speaker 3: What it's not quote unquote, Yes it is quote.

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Speaker 2: Unquote because well, because okay, fine, you were working and

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Speaker 2: you got paid, yes, but you just had a lot

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Speaker 2: of fun with this particular client and who I love,

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Speaker 2: by the way, he's awesome. But when he was single,

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Speaker 2: then he had a bunch of girls where you guys were,

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Speaker 2: and there was a lot of ash shaking and thongs

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Speaker 2: and stuff, and that I remember him going and how

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Speaker 2: uncomfortable I felt, because I'm like, Okay, this is my

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Speaker 2: opportunity to grow. I want to grow, I want to

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Speaker 2: be better. I want this relationship to work again. It

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Speaker 2: was very fresh. It was two weeks in, but we

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Speaker 2: were really in it, and I really felt like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I really like this guy, and this is not what

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Speaker 2: I was expecting in any way, it wasn't the right time,

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Speaker 2: and I was a little jaded, and I was very

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Speaker 2: honest with him, but I wanted it to work. So

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Speaker 2: I remember him saying, Okay, well, I still want to

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Speaker 2: be myself and go with my friends and go on

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Speaker 2: trips and this and this and that. And I said, okay, fine,

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Speaker 2: this is something new for me. I'm going to make

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Speaker 2: this work, and I'm also going to do the same.

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Speaker 2: With that being said, he also has not had because

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Speaker 2: he has a lot of female friends, very beautiful female friends.

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Speaker 2: In my opinion, I have.

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Speaker 1: Met them all.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be controlling you guys, like that's

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Speaker 2: my biggest thing. I'm like, I want him to be himself.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, and I learned from the past that

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Speaker 2: if you hold on too tight, the person's going to

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Speaker 2: want to let loose. You just have to let people

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Speaker 2: be and just say, hey, this makes me feel a

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Speaker 2: little uncomfortable. But anyway, it was very different for me.

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Speaker 2: But again, I think I did a pretty good job.

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Speaker 2: And tell me if I didn't. But I feel like

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Speaker 2: I did a pretty good job with embracing and you

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Speaker 2: were very good with letting me know, hey, this is

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Speaker 2: my friend, you know. And he would go to lunches

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Speaker 2: with his friends a lot, and he doesn't do that

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Speaker 2: as much and I remember thinking, oh my god, this

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Speaker 2: is so weird. This is so foreign for me, because

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Speaker 2: you know, I was with Latinos that were very machistas

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Speaker 2: and it was like, no, you can't show too much cleavage,

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Speaker 2: and you can't have guy friends and this and that,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, okay, yeah, you can't have any

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Speaker 2: friends of the opposite sex, is what I thought. But

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Speaker 2: I'm glad that we're together and that now we're that

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Speaker 2: I experienced this with you, because you did a very

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Speaker 2: nice job with letting me know about your friends that

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Speaker 2: are females and introduce me right away, and I think

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Speaker 2: that made the biggest difference.

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Speaker 3: Do you have anything to say, Yeah, I know, it's

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Speaker 3: a lot. I just I know.

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Speaker 1: I know I said a lot.

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Speaker 3: I think now that, especially when I look back, I

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Speaker 3: think I think what I really wanted, because even like

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Speaker 3: when you said, I may have said this, I may

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Speaker 3: have I may have said it differently. I honestly, I

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Speaker 3: don't really remember because it was a long time ago.

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Speaker 3: But like when you said, like well in the beginning, oh,

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Speaker 3: I want to be able to go on trips, I

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Speaker 3: want to do this, I want to do that, I

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Speaker 3: don't necessarily remember that feeling of wanting that. But what

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Speaker 3: I do remember is just I knew I just wanted

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Speaker 3: to do things different, and maybe I didn't know the

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Speaker 3: best way to do that yet because I had never

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Speaker 3: done it before. I was not a good person in

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Speaker 3: my twenties, you know, especially in partnerships, and I never

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Speaker 3: feel comfortable to just be like, all, we're all here,

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Speaker 3: we're all you know, include do you include a partner

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Speaker 3: in everything? In every part of my life? And when

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Speaker 3: I met you, it was the first time that I

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Speaker 3: did that. So it was just really me trying to

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Speaker 3: navigate on how to do it. And it wasn't perfect.

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Speaker 3: I made mistakes. I didn't know what I was doing.

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Speaker 3: But the wanting to be different, I just I kept

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Speaker 3: with that and they got me to where we're where

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Speaker 3: we're at, we're at now.

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Speaker 2: So have you realized that you have more female friends

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Speaker 2: than guy friends?

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Speaker 3: It's different, I feel for your perspective versus mine, because like,

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Speaker 3: I just think it's even, Like I think it's really

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Speaker 3: even because there's my close close people that I'll call

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Speaker 3: on a weekly basis, they're two or three and they're

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Speaker 3: they're all dudes. There's not a female friend actually who

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Speaker 3: I call on a regular basis or even really talk

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Speaker 3: to on a regular basis as much.

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Speaker 1: Do you think it's because we're together, honestly.

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Speaker 3: Not really. Things just change, like your daily things change,

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Speaker 3: like when I'm in my twenties, Like, yeah, I would

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Speaker 3: go probably have lunch with more often, but that's because

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Speaker 3: we probably live five minutes away from each other. It

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Speaker 3: was like, your life is different. You don't have like

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Speaker 3: someone that you're like, that's your priority, that's a part

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Speaker 3: of your life in such a big way. And even

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Speaker 3: if I did have someone, I wouldn't bring them, you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean. It's not because I'm married. It

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Speaker 3: doesn't change because I'm married and because I can't and

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Speaker 3: because I have It has nothing to do with that.

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Speaker 3: It's just life just changes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I do want to clarify that. Yeah, because

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Speaker 2: I remember in the beginning it made me feel a

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Speaker 2: little uncomfortable because I again it was something new for me.

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Speaker 2: But I met them, all the ones that are important

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Speaker 2: to you anyway, you know, all these these women that

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Speaker 2: you introduced me to very very quickly, and they made

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Speaker 2: me feel a lot of peace. I love them all,

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Speaker 2: you know, and I appreciate them very much. And also

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Speaker 2: I think you are the type of guy that girls

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Speaker 2: can talk to and when they need advice, like, you're

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Speaker 2: that guy. You know, there's certain guys and you're one

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Speaker 2: of those guys. And I've learned that throughout the years,

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Speaker 2: which is why it doesn't bother me anymore. But in reality,

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Speaker 2: let's be honest, what do you really think about couples

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Speaker 2: having friends of the opposite sex?

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Speaker 3: I think when especially in our conversations, when I say,

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Speaker 3: if I have to ever say, oh, my friend, has

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Speaker 3: my friend asked me to do this? My friend asked

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Speaker 3: me to that the word friend when your partner says

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Speaker 3: it the partner that's listening to it, sometimes it can

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Speaker 3: that word friend can feel a lot heavy because there's

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Speaker 3: a lot of unknown with it. It was like, what

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Speaker 3: does friend mean? And most of the time it's just

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Speaker 3: it's just how else do you refer to someone that

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Speaker 3: you just know, you know, you just kind of refer

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Speaker 3: to as the word friend?

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Speaker 1: But maybe next time use homegirl.

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Speaker 3: There's okay, there's like I think what we get scared

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Speaker 3: of is like the unknown of friend, Like because in

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Speaker 3: this world so many things can happen mm hmm. We

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Speaker 3: feel that there's a dark side of friend. Sometimes and

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Speaker 3: it's like sometimes they're just not like I literally just

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Speaker 3: I met this person maybe seven years ago and then

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Speaker 3: I've just known them now in my life and it's

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Speaker 3: not more than that. But I understand because like if

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Speaker 3: you just be like, hey, I have this friend and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, I never heard of him, and well,

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Speaker 3: of course, like you lived an entire life before me,

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Speaker 3: and you've met people and you know people.

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Speaker 2: That's what you told me by the way, You're like,

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Speaker 2: I lived an entire life before you, babe, I know

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Speaker 2: a lot of people. And that was I was like

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Speaker 2: harsh in a way. But then I'm like, it's a

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Speaker 2: harsh reality. He's being honest. I can't get can't be

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Speaker 2: so sensitive, but it's true.

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Speaker 3: You're right, yeah, but it's not an insult or like

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Speaker 3: a thread or anything to like, it's just more of

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Speaker 3: a I see it more as a fact, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean, like versus like trying to make you

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Speaker 3: feel like, well, whole life before it Like that's not

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Speaker 3: the way.

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Speaker 2: I mean it, you know, I mean my mind sometimes

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Speaker 2: I'm like, there isn't anyone.

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Speaker 1: Before me, Like.

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Speaker 3: I'm his first yeah, everything, everything.

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Speaker 2: Everything, Okay, So then let me ask you the question

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Speaker 2: in a different way. How would you feel if me

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Speaker 2: if your wife Janey had friends of the opposite sex.

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Speaker 3: I mean, if that's just that the question is like okay, yeah,

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Speaker 3: Like I think there needs to be more than just that.

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Speaker 3: Do you have you have friends? Yes, you have. You

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Speaker 3: have a lot of friends that are I have a

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Speaker 3: lot of gay friends. You have a lot of.

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Speaker 2: Friends just that are that are male, or a lot

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of acquaintances. See that's a difference. Like

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Speaker 2: the people that we just mentioned. You have friends that

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Speaker 2: are females. I have a lot of acquaintances that are males,

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Speaker 2: and I keep them there.

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Speaker 1: There is a.

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Speaker 2: Huge boundary I guess that I've always kept even before you. Now,

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Speaker 2: I think that it's a little different for us because

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Speaker 2: you came with these friends into the relationship and I

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Speaker 2: was coming into your life and I had to adjust

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Speaker 2: and accept and I did because I love you, and

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Speaker 2: because you did a very good job with being honest.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's what we have to clarify here

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Speaker 2: that I think it's the way that you approached everything,

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Speaker 2: and you did it early on. It wasn't a surprise.

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Speaker 2: You weren't hiding it because you were trying to do

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Speaker 2: things differently that made me feel safe. And I met

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Speaker 2: them and they're all amazing women whom I love very

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Speaker 2: much that now they're my friends. Now if there's just

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Speaker 2: a random female coming in, it's like, oh, she's my friend,

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Speaker 2: it's like, well, wait, wait a second, that's a little

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Speaker 2: weird for me, you know. And I think that would

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Speaker 2: be the same situation on my end, Like I have

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Speaker 2: a lot of friends. I have, like I said, like

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Speaker 2: a lot of gay friends that I talked to all

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Speaker 2: the time. But there's no threat there because they're gay, right.

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Speaker 2: But there are a lot of industry men that I know.

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Speaker 2: But again, it's not someone that I would text all

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Speaker 2: the time. But I'm curious to know, Like, what if

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Speaker 2: there's someone like, for instance, I don't know, I can't

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Speaker 2: even think of someone, but someone that I've worked with

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Speaker 2: in the past that he said, hey, let's catch up,

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Speaker 2: let's go to lunch, and you've probably met them, would

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Speaker 2: you be okay? Like you've met them in passing and

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Speaker 2: you know who they are. Let's say, and I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 2: my friend invited me to lunch. You know him, so

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Speaker 2: and so would you be okay with me going to

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Speaker 2: lunch with him.

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Speaker 3: I think there's a I mean you know this about me,

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Speaker 3: I as as your husbands, as the protector of our

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Speaker 3: home and protector of you. I read people, and I'm

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Speaker 3: straight up with my feelings towards people. I can get

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Speaker 3: a jump on someone pretty quickly, I feel, and it

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Speaker 3: depends on like the person. And I think that's okay

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Speaker 3: to say, because I feel like that goes both ways.

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Speaker 3: Like for sure, yeah, if you don't feel comfortable with

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Speaker 3: someone and you can just kind of tell I mean

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Speaker 3: I would hope that you would hope that I would

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Speaker 3: know better to like not even not even bring it

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Speaker 3: to the table. Yeah, And same with you. And it's

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Speaker 3: like I think the trust it goes with the trust.

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Speaker 3: It goes with the trust, Like I chose you to

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Speaker 3: be my wife because I trust that you'll make the

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Speaker 3: right decision. You won't never present anything that's on some

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Speaker 3: weird stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know you now you know like idea the

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Speaker 2: way you are and what you'd.

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Speaker 1: Be okay with or not. And I know better in

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Speaker 1: certain situations, you know, And.

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Speaker 3: I feel like that's what we've built where it's like

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Speaker 3: bringing it up to your partners is like definitely the

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Speaker 3: right thing to do, but going into it, you should

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Speaker 3: probably already know the answer I feel with whatever it is.

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Speaker 3: Or sometimes there just needs to be a discussion about it,

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Speaker 3: and after the discussion, it's like it's not like a

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Speaker 3: normal thing that we do in our schedule in our

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Speaker 3: daily Like we don't just go do that all the time.

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Speaker 3: So if it ever came around, I think we would

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Speaker 3: just need to have a conversation about it before it happened, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: for us both to feel comfortable, because then if I'm

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Speaker 3: in the unknown, I'm gonna you know, I can, I

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Speaker 3: can think of things and start start going down a

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Speaker 3: rabbit hole in my own head, and then you'll probably

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Speaker 3: feel uncomfortable doing it, and then it doesn't feel good.

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Speaker 3: So it's like just talking and figuring that out together

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Speaker 3: is a lot better. So it's not just like a

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Speaker 3: black and white answer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I get that.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So let me ask you something about your past then,

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Speaker 2: because you've had these friends for a long time, right,

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Speaker 2: these female friends in your past relationships right before me,

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Speaker 2: were you okay with that partner having friends of the

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Speaker 2: opposite sex? Like, were you being fair?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely not. But also I've never had a relationship where

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Speaker 3: the dynamic is like this where it's like, okay, we're

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Speaker 3: keeping tabs on who's being fair and who's not being fair.

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Speaker 3: I was just completely being unfair the entire time. So

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Speaker 3: to me, it was just it was kind of like

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Speaker 3: I had my own world with my friends and just

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Speaker 3: doing whatever I wanted, and then when it was time

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Speaker 3: to be with whoever the girl was like, it was separate,

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Speaker 3: Like I kept them separate.

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Speaker 2: It never meshed both worlds. Yeah, that was never meant

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Speaker 2: to work. There's no way that can work.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely not. Yeah, I did that on purpose for a

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Speaker 3: long time, and then I realized that that wasn't cool.

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Speaker 3: I think I always had it in me to Like

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Speaker 3: I always knew I wanted to be a good person.

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Speaker 3: I just didn't know how to and I didn't have

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Speaker 3: an experience to get to that point yet. And then

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Speaker 3: when a new situation would come then I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 3: well i'm gonna I'm going to do the same thing,

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Speaker 3: but I'm going to tell you that I'm going to

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Speaker 3: do this. So to me, I felt like it was

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Speaker 3: a step forward, even though it was still wrong. I

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Speaker 3: was like, well, at least I'm telling this person what

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Speaker 3: it is, and that it's not official, not this, it's

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Speaker 3: not that.

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Speaker 1: So you weren't being nice.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't. But I also wasn't happy either, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 3: And I felt like I was searching for this thing

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Speaker 3: to like, what's going to make me happy? Why am I?

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Speaker 3: Why am I not happy?

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Speaker 2: And it was just it just wasn't the right fit.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't the right person. It wasn't And so that

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Speaker 2: that person. Not to say that they're bad, you know,

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Speaker 2: but it was just not the right fit. And they

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Speaker 2: weren't you weren't able to be your best self, or

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Speaker 2: you weren't ready or I don't know, but I was

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Speaker 2: just wondering, because you know, I think about it all

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Speaker 2: the time. I'm like, Okay, you know, when we first met,

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Speaker 2: he would go to lunch with his girlfriends a lot,

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Speaker 2: and and now you don't. And I don't ever want

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Speaker 2: them to think that it's because of me, because I'm

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Speaker 2: okay with it. And I also and if I can

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Speaker 2: ask you, is it because you know you don't want

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Speaker 2: to do it because then you don't want me to

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Speaker 2: do it?

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Speaker 1: Perhaps?

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Speaker 2: Or is it just life is happening and you just

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Speaker 2: you haven't been able to do it.

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Speaker 3: I think it's to make sure of bost. Like sometimes

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Speaker 3: I'm like, well, do I even want to open this

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Speaker 3: can of worms? But I don't. I don't think of

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Speaker 3: that in a malicious way where I'm like, oh, it

328
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Speaker 3: is tricky. It is tricky, but also a bigger part

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Speaker 3: of it is just we're just doing other stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And it has nothing to do with like, I'm not

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Speaker 3: doing this on purpose. Your priority is just grow different.

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Speaker 3: And you have this schedule and like in a good

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Speaker 3: and bad way, you fall into like a life schedule. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And like we have our routines and we do what

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Speaker 3: we do, and there's like a wild card time where

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Speaker 3: I'm like, Okay, well we don't know what we're gonna do.

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Speaker 3: We're just gonna go figure it out and have fun.

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Speaker 3: We have so many different worlds that we can go

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Speaker 3: step into and so many different friend groups, so it's

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Speaker 3: like anything can almost happen.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: Well, I just want to, you know, give you some

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Speaker 2: peace of mind and some ease, And it's here recorded

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Speaker 2: that I wouldn't mind, you know. I think for me,

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Speaker 2: if there was someone new that came about and you're

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Speaker 2: going to go to lunch with them, that would make

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Speaker 2: me feel weird at this point. But if it's the

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Speaker 2: women that I've already met that I know that respect me,

349
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Speaker 2: and I respect them, and you know, I don't mind.

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Speaker 2: I think it's actually good for you because they're your

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Speaker 2: friends and they're they give you good advice, you know,

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Speaker 2: And I don't. What I'm afraid of happening is you

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Speaker 2: had a whole life before me, and your life has changed.

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Speaker 2: But I also don't want you to abandon that one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent because that's your individuality. And maybe you'll go

356
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Speaker 2: and say, you know what, it was cool, but I

357
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Speaker 2: don't need to do that for a while, or I

358
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Speaker 2: just rather go with my wife, or I don't know,

359
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Speaker 2: but I don't want it to Like for you not

360
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Speaker 2: to do it because you're worried about me, I'm okay

361
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Speaker 2: with it, like, because if you get lost in my world,

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Speaker 2: then you're going to eventually resent me. I mean, but

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Speaker 2: I think we have a different relationship where we speak

364
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Speaker 2: about a lot of things. We have great communication, and

365
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Speaker 2: that is absolutely key.

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Speaker 1: Guys.

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Speaker 2: Communication, I always say this, with your partner and being

368
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Speaker 2: honest and bringing things to the table and discussing it

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Speaker 2: and finding a middle ground. That's going to make a

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Speaker 2: world of a difference.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I feel really confident on this, which I

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Speaker 3: think helps both of our insecurities, is that we created

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Speaker 3: our world. So when I'm with you, it's not that

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Speaker 3: I'm just Oh, I'm just in your world and I

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Speaker 3: do anything you want, same world. Sure, I feel that

376
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:20,960
Speaker 3: more than ever, Like our home, our marriage, our life.

377
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 3: Like when we're together, I don't ever feel like I'm

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Speaker 3: just doing everything she wants and it's just it's her

379
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Speaker 3: world and I'm just getting dragged along in it. Like

380
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Speaker 3: I don't feel that in our relationship at all.

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Speaker 1: That's awesome.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad to hear that because then I think that

383
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:40,040
Speaker 2: also changed in me as soon as we got married.

384
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:42,880
Speaker 2: There was like a switch, and then couple's therapy helped

385
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:46,840
Speaker 2: a lot with it's not you and him, it's you guys,

386
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Speaker 2: and you guys are a team. I think she used

387
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 2: our therapist Tanya, who you guys have met here on

388
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,680
Speaker 2: the podcast as well. She said that you were on

389
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,680
Speaker 2: the same basketball team and in order to win the game,

390
00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,560
Speaker 2: you have to work together.

391
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Speaker 1: It's how does she say it? Can you You've explained

392
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:03,359
Speaker 1: it better.

393
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,920
Speaker 3: It's just we're a team and we can't win or

394
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 3: lose against each other because the moment you start doing that,

395
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,080
Speaker 3: you already lost everything.

396
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Speaker 1: Or see it as this separation.

397
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,199
Speaker 3: Yeah, we have to it's you and me versus the problem,

398
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,560
Speaker 3: and that's that's what it's going to be.

399
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Speaker 1: I love that.

400
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're a power team.

401
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:23,639
Speaker 1: Okay, babe.

402
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:27,479
Speaker 2: So I have a question in medio Sanchez, So do

403
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 2: you think it is possible, now that we've talked about

404
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 2: all this, for relationships to be healthy and work when

405
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:40,879
Speaker 2: one of the partners or both of the partners have

406
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,919
Speaker 2: friends of the opposite text, do you really think it

407
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:43,359
Speaker 2: can work?

408
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 3: I think it absolutely can work for sure.

409
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 2: How give people some advice? Tell them what's the best

410
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,440
Speaker 2: thing that they can do, Like, because we talked a

411
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 2: little bit about everything, but now we need to give

412
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 2: them like here, here are the this is the advice.

413
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,199
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean when you brought that up right now

414
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,680
Speaker 3: that I introduced you to them very fast, Like honestly,

415
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 3: that was me panicking, like because I was so uncomfortable

416
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 3: with it in the past. I'm like, I just I

417
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:10,439
Speaker 3: needed I need to do this right now because were

418
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 3: but I'm also glad I did it, but now today

419
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 3: I would have done it differently. There would be no brush.

420
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:19,200
Speaker 3: But I felt a guilt because I'm like also scared

421
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 3: because I also cared about what we had at the beginning,

422
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,480
Speaker 3: you know, and I cared about our relationship and your feelings.

423
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 3: But it was out of panic because I have never

424
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Speaker 3: done that before. So it did feel scary. It did

425
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 3: feel like maybe I was doing it for the wrong

426
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 3: reason or I'm hiding things, and was like, no, I

427
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 3: just I just again, I didn't know what I was doing.

428
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:45,200
Speaker 3: But I also am glad now that we did it. Yeah,

429
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 3: I mean, I wouldn't ever bring I wouldn't ever bring

430
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 3: anyone that I shouldn't bring in or around us our life,

431
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 3: or around you, you know what I mean.

432
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like you're really good with that.

433
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,760
Speaker 2: Wouldn't bring anyone that's weird or you know, doesn't have

434
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 2: good intentions. Yeah, you're very good, Like you said earlier,

435
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 2: you're very good with reading people. And I trust your

436
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:13,239
Speaker 2: judgment and I trust your opinion very much. And what

437
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 2: do you think about people staying contact or being friends

438
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:19,880
Speaker 2: with their exes.

439
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 3: Personally? I think that's different for everyone. Some people are

440
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:29,719
Speaker 3: more comfortable, some people are not comfortable personally. In our life,

441
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,879
Speaker 3: I'm not comfortable with it in our relationship and in

442
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,919
Speaker 3: our life. I don't think it's necessary. If there was

443
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,040
Speaker 3: things in the beginning that we needed to let go,

444
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,880
Speaker 3: let go of them do it. Yeah, I don't think

445
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,920
Speaker 3: there needs to be a relationship there.

446
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:49,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I personally feel that there's no no need.

447
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 2: Just recently, we had a bit of a situation because

448
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:58,159
Speaker 2: of Johnny. Johnny's very close to an X of mine.

449
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 2: I don't need to say names people that know know,

450
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 2: but he was going through a situation my ex and

451
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:09,919
Speaker 2: I had a conversation through Johnny with him and he

452
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,919
Speaker 2: just wanted to say thank you to me about something.

453
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,879
Speaker 2: And it happened so quickly that I didn't have a

454
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,199
Speaker 2: chance to let a media know, hey, this is going

455
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 2: to happen, because it just happened without planning. But I

456
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 2: decided and I chose to be honest with the media

457
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 2: because I'm like, there's just no way that I'm going

458
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,439
Speaker 2: to keep that inside and keep it from him, and

459
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 2: it's going to make me feel good. And I want

460
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,440
Speaker 2: to ask you, like, how did that make you feel

461
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 2: when I told you.

462
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's weird, because you know, like as like a

463
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 3: real person, like you think like, oh, well, maybe you

464
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 3: shouldn't have done it without telling me first. But then

465
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,639
Speaker 3: you also understand, like, well, I guess the way it happens,

466
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 3: and I know, and I know Johnny, and I know

467
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 3: how he is. He just kind of wants like if

468
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 3: he has like a moment, he wants you in a moment.

469
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:03,639
Speaker 3: So like I underunderstand how how it happened. It didn't

470
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 3: bother me too much. It just it probably alerts to you

471
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 3: a little bit, probably like you got my attention. But

472
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 3: I don't think it did anything more than that. And

473
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 3: I think it like, I don't think it needs to

474
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:16,959
Speaker 3: be more than what it was.

475
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:21,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, you told me that, you said, okay, then it happened.

476
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 2: Thank you for letting me know, and let's just leave

477
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 2: it at that. Don't let that continue, don't let that

478
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 2: one conversation turn into more. And I respect of that,

479
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 2: and I said, okay, cool. I just wanted to be

480
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 2: honest with you and let you know because there's no

481
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,400
Speaker 2: bad blood there. I'm grateful and he's married and he's

482
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 2: doing his thing and he knows I'm married. It was

483
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,440
Speaker 2: just a little conversation, but I did feel I needed

484
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,439
Speaker 2: to be honest with you with him. With Emilio, a

485
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 2: Now that we're talking about this topic, I do think

486
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 2: that something that goes hand in hand with this is ultimatums.

487
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 2: Emidio and I love shows ninety D fiance, the ultimatum,

488
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 2: all that stuff, And we had this conversation one time

489
00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 2: in bed, and I personally don't think ultimatum's work. I

490
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 2: think your partner should know what is right ish right.

491
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 2: And I personally never thought to even tell Emilio hey,

492
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:19,439
Speaker 2: especially because these girls his friends were there before me,

493
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 2: to say, okay, well it's either your friendship with them

494
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 2: or myself. I didn't even want to go in the

495
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 2: relationship with that energy. One thing I will tell you

496
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 2: is when this whole thing came up where he's like, hey,

497
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 2: my friend hit me up and I'm going to go

498
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 2: do a photo shoot and this and that, and I said, wait,

499
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 2: well friend, I was like, I've never heard of her.

500
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 2: I did tell him, well, you can't do it. As

501
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,120
Speaker 2: the words were coming out of my mouth, I was like, oh,

502
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 2: this isn't good, Jene, like, this isn't good.

503
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 1: This is money for him.

504
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: They're paying him like he's also his friend, you know,

505
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 2: it's kind of he's doing him a favor. Like I

506
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,640
Speaker 2: just and then I backtracked and I said, I'm so

507
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 2: sorry that I said that. I don't want to be

508
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,640
Speaker 2: that person do it, like, I don't want to stop

509
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,679
Speaker 2: you from making your money or not only that, for

510
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 2: you to make a decision on your own, and I

511
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 2: will tell you guys. He went, and he was so

512
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,639
Speaker 2: good about it. Hey, babe, I'm here, send me videos,

513
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 2: pictures like he does his part. You do your part,

514
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 2: babe at making me feel comfortable, and I think that's amazing.

515
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 2: Like I didn't ask you for any of that stuff.

516
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 2: I knew. The day came and I'm like, okay, I

517
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 2: don't know this girl, you know, because I of course

518
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 2: I was like, well, let me see your instagram.

519
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 1: Who is this girl?

520
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 2: You know? I sure did you know? Little Tooxi comes

521
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 2: in a little bit and I was like, oh, she's cute.

522
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 1: I was like okay.

523
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, it's okay, Jena, it's fine. This

524
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 2: is not your first rodeo with him, It's fine. There

525
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 2: are always beautiful women around in medio chill out. I

526
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,200
Speaker 2: had to talk to myself and be like, Jenny, it's fine.

527
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:47,120
Speaker 2: But then he by himself, was like, hey, babe, I'm here.

528
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 2: I'm going, I'm leaving. I like, communication is so important,

529
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 2: And tell me, how did it make you feel when

530
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 2: I told you you can't do it?

531
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,400
Speaker 3: I forgot that that happened. I think I felt Santa Usa.

532
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,919
Speaker 3: I'm like, I think what you're right now is not you, Like,

533
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 3: that's not that's not the real you. And it just

534
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,479
Speaker 3: alerts you, you know. And again it's another reason why

535
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 3: I picked you. It's another reason why I trust you,

536
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:14,680
Speaker 3: because like, you check yourself and a lot of people

537
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:18,360
Speaker 3: don't do that, and I trust that you'll you'll get

538
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 3: to that place of clear thinking on your own sometimes.

539
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,160
Speaker 3: So I'm glad that worked. When I was there at

540
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 3: the shoot, I obviously the way my brain works is

541
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 3: just like, well what I want her doing. If it

542
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 3: was the other way around, Like if I don't text

543
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 3: you the whole time I was there, I'm like, oh,

544
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,360
Speaker 3: I got busy. I'm like, well, it takes two seconds

545
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 3: to send a text. It's just it's just making that effort.

546
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 3: And like for me, I have that feeling of like

547
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 3: I want to take care of Janay. I need to

548
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 3: like just make sure she's good no matter what I'm doing.

549
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 3: I could have been with hanging out with one of

550
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 3: my guy friends. I could have been doing this, but

551
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 3: I that always stays in my head of like, let

552
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,359
Speaker 3: me make sure you're good because it's the most important

553
00:26:58,359 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 3: thing for me.

554
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 1: Thanks, dude. What do you think about ultimatums?

555
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 3: Ultimatums? I think, thankfully, we've never got like that's never

556
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 3: been a topic of conversation in our relationship. I think

557
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 3: it is a very common thing. It's something that you

558
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 3: think of, like when I think of like relationships or

559
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 3: even my passion relationship, like, well, you either cut us

560
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 3: person out or you don't, or it's me or them,

561
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 3: you know.

562
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 1: I don't think that's healthy.

563
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 3: I don't think our foundation wouldever let us get to

564
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:31,400
Speaker 3: that point. Thankfully. Think I think if that's what you're

565
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 3: getting to, then you have other problems to fix in

566
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 3: your relationship before having to make that decision of ultimatum.

567
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 3: I don't think they're healthy. I don't think they're good. Yeah,

568
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 3: if we get to that point, I would hope that

569
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,919
Speaker 3: you would, you know, you would have enough information on

570
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 3: your end to like make the right decision or to

571
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 3: take care of that in your own way. Like at

572
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 3: least I know if I got to a point where

573
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,239
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, I have to choose between someone and

574
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 3: my wife. Like, I mean, I wouldn't throw fuel in

575
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 3: that fire to keep it going to have to for

576
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,399
Speaker 3: you to have to give me that ultimatum. I'd handle

577
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 3: it on my own and never let it get to that. Yeah,

578
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 3: And I think that's why we work because we get

579
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:10,360
Speaker 3: that with each other.

580
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 1: Yeah.

581
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,159
Speaker 2: I think it all just depends on the situation. But

582
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 2: I think ninety percent of the time, ninety five percent

583
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 2: of the time and ultimatum just isn't healthy.

584
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 3: I don't.

585
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to put anyone in that position of

586
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 2: having to choose, because I want them to choose freely

587
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 2: what they want and what they think is right. And

588
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 2: if they're meant for me, they're going to make the

589
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 2: right decision without me having to ask. That's really my

590
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 2: take on it. And I feel like if you give

591
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 2: someone an ultimatum like and they do do what you want,

592
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 2: then it would never feel organic for me. It would

593
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 2: feel like I forced you to do this and make

594
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 2: this decision. And guys, remember when I met Emilio, I

595
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 2: was seventy pounds heavier.

596
00:28:58,760 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: Do you remember that?

597
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:00,479
Speaker 3: Yeah? I do.

598
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: Now I'm the hottest I've ever been in my whole life.

599
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 3: Yes, you are, but I'm.

600
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 1: Working very hard at it.

601
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 2: Okay, I have to wake up at five thirty in

602
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 2: the morning to go work out, not have to, I

603
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 2: choose to anyway. So I feel like it was more

604
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 2: this whole trust thing that we have between each other,

605
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 2: with having friends of the opposite sex. I think it

606
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 2: just comes with the feeling we give each other. It's

607
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 2: not even like because I physically feel better, because even

608
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 2: when I was heavier, this is when everything happened. When

609
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 2: we first started, I was I was.

610
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 1: I was thick, thick.

611
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 2: You know you loved it right, Yeah, now you're just thick.

612
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 2: Now I'm just thick. Before I was thick thick. So

613
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 2: I do think that it was just something that it's

614
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 2: how you handle the situation, babe, that made me feel

615
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 2: more confident and secure with myself because I knew you

616
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 2: were completely attracted to me, And even if these girls

617
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 2: they are beautiful and a lot thinner than I was,

618
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 2: it was how you treated me and how you made

619
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 2: me even when we went to go eat with them,

620
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 2: it was like you made me feel like I was

621
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 2: the most beautiful girl in the room. You've always made

622
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:13,520
Speaker 2: me feel that way even when I was bigger, like

623
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 2: for sure, because I thought I was the hottest thing

624
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 2: walking around.

625
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 3: You were you are.

626
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 2: Because now I see videos and I'm like, okay, damn,

627
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 2: all right, dah people would call me miss Piggy now

628
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 2: and now I see why. I was like okay, but

629
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 2: still I was cute, you know, but you made me

630
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 2: feel very confident. And I think it's also your partner,

631
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 2: how they make you feel and you you constantly tell me.

632
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 2: We tell each other like I only I really honestly

633
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 2: I see you. And when I tell you that you're handsome,

634
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 2: it's because I feel it in that one. I'm like, damn,

635
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 2: he's so handsome, Like I don't know, Like as time

636
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 2: goes by, I'm like, dude, he's so he's hot, you know,

637
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 2: And I think that that helps.

638
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I get it because I'll look at you

639
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you're so beautiful. I'm like, you look

640
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 3: so pretty, and then you really do and you think,

641
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 3: are you like you're just saying that. I'm like, no,

642
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 3: I'm looking at you and I see it and I

643
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,719
Speaker 3: feel it. Yeah. It's funny because in the beginning, you know,

644
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 3: I mean, everyone has insecurities and they're so dumb, you know,

645
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 3: Like I remember like, oh, well, maybe you like that

646
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 3: guy because he has bigger arms. So I'm like, oh well,

647
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 3: I need bigger arms. But then I'm like, I'm like, cool,

648
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 3: if that guy has bigger arms, guess what. I know

649
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 3: what I give in this relationship and all of the

650
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 3: inner work and all of the patients and all of

651
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 3: the communication and everything that I give to actually make

652
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 3: this relationship function that holds more weight than any sort

653
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 3: of size arms, or any sort of abs or any

654
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 3: sort of what other someone else has or in a

655
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 3: material way. Like I'm so at peace with that now,

656
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 3: and I feel so secure in us, in our relationship

657
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,239
Speaker 3: and with myself. I'm like, I know what we have

658
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 3: because of you and me, and there's no sort of

659
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 3: physical thing on this earth that can ever make me

660
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 3: not feel Yeah.

661
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 2: And I think it also took me also giving you

662
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 2: that confidence, because at first I think you felt that way,

663
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 2: but because I wasn't doing my job as your girlfriend

664
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 2: of making you feel more confident, I think maybe you know.

665
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 2: I don't know, because I think we had little conversations

666
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 2: about that, or I just reinforced you more.

667
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 1: I don't really know.

668
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 3: But yeah, there's many layers. There's many layers of making

669
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 3: your partner feel secure, and we've just worked on that.

670
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 3: We've worked on it because when we didn't or when

671
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 3: there was just a lack of in the beginning, just

672
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 3: naturally there's you know, we need to figure how to

673
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 3: make our partner feel secure. We can tell the difference,

674
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 3: and it brings things out. And I think we just

675
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 3: were great out adjusting. Okay, this fight in the beginning

676
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 3: of a relationship. Why did we fight? What caused it? Well,

677
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 3: if it has to do with someone else or something else, okay,

678
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 3: and we just we know how to fix it. Yeah,

679
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:05,360
Speaker 3: And naturally, over time, fixing all those problems makes your

680
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: partner feel more secure if you do it in the

681
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 3: right way.

682
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think for me it came with age.

683
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 2: It came with age where I was just like, you know,

684
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 2: I know who I am, I know my heart, I

685
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 2: know what I bring to the table, and I don't

686
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:22,239
Speaker 2: mean materialistically or I mean like my heart, you know,

687
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 2: and what I want and what I want out of life.

688
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 2: And I think that also gives you a different type

689
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 2: of confidence, you know, because there's always going to be

690
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 2: someone that's prettier and more fit than you are. It's

691
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 2: just what it is. It has prettier hair or whatever

692
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 2: the case may be. But as long as you know

693
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 2: who you are in the depth of your heart and

694
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 2: what you bring to someone's life, that is unique and

695
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 2: no one else can replace that. Like, that's that's what's

696
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:53,480
Speaker 2: given me at this age, at this you know, moment

697
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 2: of my life has given me a different type of confidence.

698
00:33:56,760 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 3: Yeah. So the way I make you feel, knowing how

699
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 3: I can make you feel on any given day and

700
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 3: any given moment, that gives me a lot of security

701
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 3: and a lot of confidence. Yeah, because I know you

702
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,399
Speaker 3: could be having the worst day ever and within ten

703
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 3: minutes we're laughing and just in our own world. And

704
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 3: that's like, I'm super confident in that.

705
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 2: And just to close this and conclude this episode, if

706
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 2: you do have friends of the opposite sex and you

707
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 2: are going to enter a new relationship, be honest from

708
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:37,280
Speaker 2: the very beginning.

709
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 1: Let them know.

710
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 2: Hey, so I want you to know one of my

711
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,760
Speaker 2: really good friends happens to be a dude or vice versa.

712
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 1: Be honest.

713
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 2: I personally feel that there's no need for a friend

714
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 2: who text you too late, unless it's an emergency, and

715
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 2: if so, let your partner know, Like, Hey, so and so,

716
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,319
Speaker 2: just text me it's eleven pm. Just want to show

717
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 2: you nothing or tell me the next morning. I don't know,

718
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 2: let the person know before they find out. I think

719
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 2: that that is the best thing that you could do,

720
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 2: is bringing the information forward.

721
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I feel like, I mean, it's just

722
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 3: it's it is pretty simple, like just don't let anything

723
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 3: happened that you wouldn't want your partner doing. It's just

724
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 3: really what it is. Like. Also, trust that your partner

725
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:27,919
Speaker 3: will handle or stop anything, because you know, we can't

726
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 3: control what other people do. And I'm pretty uh confident

727
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,480
Speaker 3: that you would know how to maneuver through that. And

728
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 3: if anything, you would probably come to me first. It'd

729
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 3: be like, look, look what's you know? Which I would

730
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 3: do the same. I would be the first person to

731
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 3: stop something that someone was trying to infiltrate to us

732
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 3: in any sort of way. I'd just show you and

733
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 3: be like, look at this, like we're a unit, you know.

734
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 2: Like, don't don't let those conversations inappropriate conversations, even if

735
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:59,280
Speaker 2: you're not the one initiating it. Don't let one text

736
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 2: message go into more and more and more, like it's

737
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 2: a snowball effect and just you got to nip it

738
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:06,720
Speaker 2: in the bud and that's it. Like if the person

739
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 2: can't respect that you're in a relationship, then that's not

740
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 2: a friend, first of all. But if you have a

741
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,399
Speaker 2: good friend that you've been friends with for a long

742
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 2: time and they are of the opposite sex, tell your

743
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 2: partner be honest about it. Respect your partner, especially when

744
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 2: they're not around. And I think it's common sense at

745
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 2: the end of the day, like Emilio said, don't do

746
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 2: anything that you wouldn't want your partner to do. Plain

747
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 2: and simple. Treat people the way you want to be treated.

748
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 2: Bottom line, put yourself in your partner's shoes. If it

749
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 2: was the other way around, how would I feel. That's

750
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,040
Speaker 2: what I always ask myself. I like to put myself

751
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 2: in other people's shoes and I'm like, Okay, yeah, this

752
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,359
Speaker 2: isn't cool because I wouldn't like it. So always ask

753
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 2: yourself that. And honesty is the best policy. It's the truth.

754
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 2: That is the truth. It sounds cliche, but it is true.

755
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 2: I don't know if there's anything else you want to add,

756
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 2: baby before we say goodbye.

757
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I just I think we've been doing a

758
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,400
Speaker 3: good job with that. And I think it was a

759
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 3: few days ago where I told you, I'm like, I

760
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:05,799
Speaker 3: feel pretty confident with your loyalty towards me. Same, like,

761
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 3: it's one of the rock solid things that we have

762
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 3: for sure. Yeah, I gotta feel that with you.

763
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I think that's important. Yeah, loyalty, respect, trust, communication, forgiveness, patience,

764
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 2: being married, being in a relationship isn't easy, you guys.

765
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 2: But when both people want to make it work, they

766
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 2: will find a way.

767
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 3: And that's that. Guys.

768
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:32,280
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.

769
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 2: I hope that you were able to take some good

770
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 2: stuff from this conversation with my husband and that we're

771
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,359
Speaker 2: able to help you in some way.

772
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 3: And thank you.

773
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 2: Thank you for coming back to Cheeky's and Chill the

774
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 2: podcast where you get to chill, learn, listen, grow, and glow.

775
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 2: It's my new little thing, guys.

776
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 1: I don't know.

777
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 2: I love you guys, mosquiro mucho, and I will I'll

778
00:37:54,800 --> 00:38:00,839
Speaker 2: see you guys soon. This is a production of iHeartRadio

779
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:04,840
Speaker 2: and the Microldura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at

780
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 2: Michael Doura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's that's c h.

781
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 3: I q u i s.

782
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 2: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

783
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast