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Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome to this episode. To keep it positive. Sweet,

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Speaker 1: I'm Christophine A Hazlet, and today we are talking Father's

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Speaker 1: Day with one of my favorite people, the Kirk Franklin.

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Speaker 2: Yep, don't know from your favorite one of your favorite people,

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Speaker 2: because you would have had something established for me to

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Speaker 2: sit comfortably. We know there's a uh a height challenge

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Speaker 2: that I exist in, and these these little fancy new

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Speaker 2: modern couches, you know, they take away your masculinity. So

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Speaker 2: I don't know how I feel about being here, but

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna help me get this done so I could

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Speaker 2: go and sit on a regular couch the way regular

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Speaker 2: people sit. First question, let's go wrap this up right right, right, strike,

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Speaker 2: it's over. I've got things to do. Let's go.

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Speaker 1: Hell hello me too.

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Speaker 2: I gotta study.

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Speaker 1: Thank you lord, how you doing, sir?

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Speaker 2: Doing good?

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Speaker 3: Good?

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming. I like to start

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Speaker 1: every episode with a song or quote. And the song

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Speaker 1: that comes to mind with you sitting on my couch

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Speaker 1: is a song that has guided me through so much

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Speaker 1: and that has hold me now wow, yes, and we're

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Speaker 1: going to talk about that in this episode. I need

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Speaker 1: you to know, jes what you have done with just

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Speaker 1: your voice, your lyrics, your music.

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Speaker 2: But not my voice.

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Speaker 1: Literally, ladies and gentlemen, I like your when you do

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Speaker 1: the talking singing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well yeah, okay, I just want it. It works.

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Speaker 1: Only you can do that my favorite.

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Speaker 2: I'm finding that out. I'm finding that out.

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Speaker 1: But for those of you who don't know. Kirk is

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Speaker 1: a songwriter, producer, required director of gospel singer, best known

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Speaker 1: for leading urban contemporary gospel and Christian R and B

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Speaker 1: ensembles such as The Family, God's Property, One Nation Crew,

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Speaker 1: among others. You have one nineteen Grammy Awards.

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Speaker 2: Well, I've only won about two or three. What happens

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Speaker 2: is the other ones. I go to the Grammys and

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Speaker 2: when people go to the bathroom, I like, I grabbed

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Speaker 2: their Grammys, and I got a homeboard that's still locked

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Speaker 2: down in jail, and he can take a like a

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Speaker 2: name plate, and he put my name on the front.

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Speaker 2: So I just wanted to be the.

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Speaker 1: Other seventeen were actually somebody else's.

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Speaker 2: Yeah there, so discard please continue.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and you are one of the inaugural inductees of

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Speaker 1: the Black Music and Entertainment Walk of Fames. That's huge.

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Speaker 2: No, no, I'm grateful for that.

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Speaker 1: Amazing amazing.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: So I want to tell the viewers the first time

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Speaker 1: that I was introduced to you. This is in the nineties.

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Speaker 1: I had to be who probably ten eleven ish when

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Speaker 1: I was first introduced to you, and I told you,

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Speaker 1: I share this with your wife. I said, Kirk doesn't

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Speaker 1: understand that. When he came on the scene, I was

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Speaker 1: a I was raised Methodist Methodist, no shade to any Methodist, No,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But it's not just we

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Speaker 1: did not we didn't clap, but we did transition where

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Speaker 1: we actually sang some of your songs in my church

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Speaker 1: because I think they realized we got to switch some

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Speaker 1: things up. We can't just keep singing him those all day.

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Speaker 1: That it was U not a Methodist, Yeah, yeah, were

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Speaker 1: more of the white Catholic. Yeah, almost like almost Catholic,

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Speaker 1: cause we were incite a lot during Okay, and you

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Speaker 1: helped me find my own relationship with God because I

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Speaker 1: always felt like this can't be it, you know this,

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Speaker 1: It didn't excite me. There was nothing where I was like,

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Speaker 1: I really just want to be on fire for God

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Speaker 1: until you came along and it was relatable and I

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Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I can talk to God how I talk.

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Speaker 1: I don't have to. I believe in God, the Father, Almighty,

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Speaker 1: Maker of heaven and earth energy. So that thank you seriously.

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Speaker 1: And then twenty nineteen I met you the first time.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure if you remember this, but it was

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Speaker 1: the grand open of Tyler Perry Studios, the new studio,

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Speaker 1: and we had the gospel brunch that Sunday after the

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Speaker 1: grand open, Yes, and there was lines going everywhere for food,

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Speaker 1: and you had a plate of shripping grits and I said,

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Speaker 1: where'd you go? Where'd you get them shripping grits? And

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Speaker 1: you was like over there, but the line is long.

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Speaker 1: Here take my money?

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Speaker 2: Wow?

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Speaker 1: Yes, And I was like no, no, no.

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Speaker 2: You was like take a girl. It's like give you

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Speaker 2: their food taken wow.

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Speaker 1: And I took it and I was like, wow, that's

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Speaker 1: a nice person. Yeah. So that was my first interaction

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Speaker 1: with you in real life.

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Speaker 2: And then did you eat?

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Speaker 1: I did? I told them up, they were good. I'm

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Speaker 1: sorry you didn't get any.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, it's okay, okay, first adding the other couch,

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Speaker 2: so well then we're just kind of moving in the

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Speaker 2: you know, yeah, it's a first question. Let's go oh

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Speaker 2: my goodness. But it's all about this. This is the

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Speaker 2: this is the mood. It's so arrogant.

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Speaker 1: Wrap this up. But on of a more serious note,

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Speaker 1: I opened up about when I was a teenager, I

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Speaker 1: had suicidal thoughts and I was sitting my floor of

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Speaker 1: my bedroom and play hold Me Out over and over

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Speaker 1: and over again, and it was as if God literally

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Speaker 1: was like holding me. And to this day I tried

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Speaker 1: to cry. Dang, we see how we went from this.

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Speaker 1: Took that quick because how real it is. To this

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Speaker 1: day when I hear that song, I cry. And I

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Speaker 1: was talking to a friend of mine, Marquison. I actually

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Speaker 1: do car chronicles where we sing and we play that song,

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Speaker 1: and you would be like if you went to my

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Speaker 1: page and looked at the comments everybody loved. They're like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, that is my song. Then they went

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Speaker 1: back and started playing. I'm sure your ratings and your

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Speaker 1: spinds went up after that, but but no, seriously, you

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Speaker 1: definitely helped me through a really tough time and now

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Speaker 1: I cry for different reasons. You know, we're gonna bring

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Speaker 1: this up.

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Speaker 2: Okay, this is a beautiful moment. Let's stay right here.

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Speaker 2: I'm good, I'm you know, I I can tell you

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Speaker 2: that that that I have always lived in this dichotomy

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Speaker 2: of I knew I loved God, but I had all

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Speaker 2: the hard time believing that he loved me. So now

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Speaker 2: that people are kind of more exposed to the back

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Speaker 2: story of who I am and my experiences with my father,

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Speaker 2: I got you. I'm closer to it. Thank you you.

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Speaker 2: You know. I I have lived with this uh space

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Speaker 2: that a lot of things that have been written have

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Speaker 2: not always been what I feel, but what I imagine. So

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Speaker 2: so it hasn't always been this confident truth that I've

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Speaker 2: always worked from. So when when even when I think

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Speaker 2: about that song, I was like, oh, yeah, that's right.

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Speaker 2: That's another one. That's another one that I was screaming

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Speaker 2: out for help for and people didn't even realize that

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Speaker 2: I was screaming out for help. I was wondering, can

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Speaker 2: you hold me now? It's because you're right, that's not

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Speaker 2: That's a very abnormal conversation for someone to have in

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Speaker 2: a gospel song. But but but that's been the space

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Speaker 2: that I've lived in, always wanting, always searching for what

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Speaker 2: I did not have in the physical world that I

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Speaker 2: lived in. And so I was trying to always ask God,

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Speaker 2: you know it is because when you talk about anxiety

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Speaker 2: and depression, I've lived in that space my whole life.

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Speaker 2: And it is very humbling to know that a song

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Speaker 2: that for me was just a moment of ugh, well

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Speaker 2: speaking to a little girl somewhere that I didn't even know.

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Speaker 2: And so it's I think that's the big, beautiful, chaotic, yes,

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Speaker 2: painful journey of life.

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Speaker 1: It is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the dichotomy. It's the duality of reality. I'm

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Speaker 2: extremely humbled and extremely grateful to know that what wasn't

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Speaker 2: mine became yours.

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Speaker 1: So thank you, thank you for that.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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Speaker 1: This year, you dropped the documentary about find Out that

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Speaker 1: your biological father is still alive. I watched it and

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Speaker 1: I wept, like uncontrollably, And when you posted it on

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Speaker 1: your Instagram, I typed in the comments. I just want

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Speaker 1: you to know that all the mess and everything that

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Speaker 1: you felt you were going through ended up helping so

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Speaker 1: many people, and it was so much beauty in that,

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Speaker 1: And I want to talk about just watch. When I

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Speaker 1: watched it, I was just like, oh my goodness, Like,

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Speaker 1: how is this. We look at you, it's like you're

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Speaker 1: like everybody's uncle, everybody's brother, and people don't even know you,

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Speaker 1: like you're that figures to them. How have you been

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Speaker 1: able to navigate that? Like even still, like because you're

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Speaker 1: on tour now, it's almost like your life just had

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Speaker 1: to keep going. But how are you taking time to

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Speaker 1: really deal with that?

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Speaker 2: Sometimes? I don't know if you ever really do? You know?

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Speaker 2: I think if we were honest, I think every human

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Speaker 2: and some capacity is always running from something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know it's I think that the biggest food with

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Speaker 2: American Christianity is we want American Christianity to be wrapped

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Speaker 2: in the perfect bowls that it's got to look pretty.

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Speaker 2: It's because the imagery that we portray is a lot

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Speaker 2: of times the stained glass windows.

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Speaker 1: Yes, people that are Sunday bests.

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Speaker 2: And talking, hey brother, God, bless your sister, high lovel

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Speaker 2: Yah you know TBN and you know, you know, just

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Speaker 2: you know, everything is super and life is messy. It

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Speaker 2: is life is messy, Life is dirty. Life, You can

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Speaker 2: get ugly, and you wonder where's a God in the

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Speaker 2: midst of all that chaos, and and and and what

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Speaker 2: I don't know doesn't cancel up what I do know.

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Speaker 2: But I'm still not afraid to be to acknowledge its

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Speaker 2: a lot I don't know. So I may be running

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Speaker 2: forever because somebody is like, well, no, there's got to

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Speaker 2: be a.

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Speaker 1: Blead, right, No.

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Speaker 2: Now, Scripture has a myriad of people I remember and

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Speaker 2: in one of Paul's writings, and he's just making a

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Speaker 2: list of all of these people that lived by faith

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Speaker 2: but never lived to see the promise happen. So that's

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Speaker 2: that's a reality. Look at Moses, Moses, Moses would used

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Speaker 2: to part the Red Sea, but didn't make it.

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Speaker 1: Indicna, Right, isn't that crazy?

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Speaker 2: And it's like it's like it's like my n you know,

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Speaker 2: it's like he didn't make it anyway. So you know

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Speaker 2: that that's that's the reality of what we live in.

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Speaker 2: And so I am learning, though, to be okay with that. Wow,

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Speaker 2: I'm learning to be okay that there will be some

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Speaker 2: crosses I got to carry, There'll be some lips that

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Speaker 2: I'll have, And from those places have come for others.

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Speaker 2: Some of the most beautifully painful songs that I see

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Speaker 2: reached people they don't like. And imagine me, I went

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Speaker 2: on the beach, sipping on my tie with flip flops

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Speaker 2: on I'm going to write, imagine me. You know, it's

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Speaker 2: like you know, you know, it's like it's ugly. Got

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Speaker 2: a song one here and here you go.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you know, yeah, during those times, and I

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Speaker 1: know this is still fresh for you, did you ever

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Speaker 1: like question God, God? Why why did it take so

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Speaker 1: long to find this out?

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Speaker 2: I questioned God all the time. I was questioning God

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Speaker 2: before that. Really, I question God all the time. When

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Speaker 2: you see a family on the way the church and

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Speaker 2: hear the whole family died in a car wreck, or

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Speaker 2: you know, you you you, you, you meet treat people

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Speaker 2: that die of cancer, and then you see fools. I

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Speaker 2: can live in a life and they and they live

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Speaker 2: until they seven and eighty is still being fools? I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 2: question God all the time. And God welcomes the conversation.

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Speaker 2: He does because the questions at least we're talking. At

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Speaker 2: least we're talking, and he welcomes the conversation. And and

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Speaker 2: and I once once again, I think that so much

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Speaker 2: deconstruction of religious dogma that we've been programmed to believe

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Speaker 2: has to happen for people to have a clear understanding

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Speaker 2: that for most people of color, this fear of what

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Speaker 2: we can't do and can't say to God is really

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Speaker 2: birthed in a colonized version of what Christianity was introduced

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Speaker 2: to a displaced people to control them. And so all

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Speaker 2: that that has to be deconstructed this week. And so

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Speaker 2: it's because what we've got to understand so clearly is

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Speaker 2: that Western Christianity and the teachings of Jesus Christ are

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Speaker 2: not synonymous. They are not the same Who Jesus is

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Speaker 2: and what we a lot of times teach in Western

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Speaker 2: Christianity is dogma and ideology that has nothing to do

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Speaker 2: with the pure heart of Jesus. Wow.

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Speaker 1: I remember just recently while you were on this tour

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Speaker 1: a man was outside the venue.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, no, not this tour that was four years ago.

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Speaker 2: Somebody just somebody just resurrected it.

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Speaker 1: I thought that was happening in real time. Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't back to tell nobody like that. Now, man,

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Speaker 2: this pandemic. I don't know you, but you literally.

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Speaker 1: Took time to like meet with this man after and

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Speaker 1: he ridiculed you just for how you dance and your lyrics.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, people like the we do have to deconstruct

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Speaker 1: because everybody's gotten so like, yeah, literally literal almost like taking.

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Speaker 2: It yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then also you know

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Speaker 2: it's it's it's, it's it. It is an extension of

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Speaker 2: the heart of a pharisee, right, you know that that

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Speaker 2: what I don't understand I dismiss. And so it is

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Speaker 2: in the process of being able to engage with people,

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Speaker 2: to to get an understanding of why they maneuver and

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Speaker 2: how they maneuver, and to not demonize or to try

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Speaker 2: to put scripture to things that may not be my

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Speaker 2: cup of tea, Kurtius, may not be your cup of tea,

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Speaker 2: and that's okay. Sometimes I'm not my cup of tea.

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Speaker 2: Some days I get on my nerd, Right, I mean,

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Speaker 2: have you ever had days we'll be like, girl, get

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Speaker 2: it together. Yes.

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Speaker 3: So if you had that with you, why would you

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Speaker 3: not not understand that everybody's not going to process and

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Speaker 3: connect with you certain ways and still give them grace

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Speaker 3: for God to keep doing the working.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's good. I love that. Now that you know

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Speaker 1: who your father is, how are you integrating that into

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Speaker 1: your life? How is that getting to have you guys spent?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, but but you know, it is still the

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Speaker 2: weirdest thing for me, and he's a great.

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Speaker 1: Guy, seems like a really really nice, great great guy.

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Speaker 2: I just just because you've been introduced to love, don't know,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't mean you're not a process that when you

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Speaker 2: see it, you know it's it's good. Yes, not automatic.

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Speaker 2: And I think once again, we've watched so much TV,

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Speaker 2: we've watched so many movies, we've read so many romance novels,

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Speaker 2: that we want happy endings to everything quickly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, doesn't mean like in a relationship. And I'm was

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Speaker 1: like one guy telling me he's like Crystal, it's not

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Speaker 1: a fairy tale. Get that out of here. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I'm the same way. Yeah. You know, often because my

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Speaker 1: biological mother passed when I was two, so you always yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I feel like a part of me always wonders

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Speaker 1: like what parts of me are like her?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 1: And now that you know your dad, do you see

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Speaker 1: any like, oh that's where I get that from? Or oh,

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Speaker 1: now things are starting to make a little more sense

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Speaker 1: about you know.

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Speaker 2: I have not had to just spend a whole lot

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Speaker 2: of time. We've we've been able to have moments and yeah,

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Speaker 2: there there there are things, but there are things that

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Speaker 2: I know that probably for the both of us still

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Speaker 2: need to grow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, you know,

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Speaker 2: but but you know, you know, because he's headstrong, he's ambitious,

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Speaker 2: he's no like he's he is. I am very much him,

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Speaker 2: very much him, you know. And so but you know,

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Speaker 2: he he's a good man. He's a good man. He

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Speaker 2: is he's a he's he's somebody that I could definitely

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Speaker 2: look up to welcome with the same height. But you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean, you know, you know, but yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think that more than anything, it's just me. It's

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Speaker 2: just it's just the trauma. And then you also got

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Speaker 2: to remember something very important. There was a man in

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Speaker 2: my life that I believed to be my father. Well no,

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Speaker 2: not in my life. There was a man that I

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Speaker 2: knew of that I believed to be my father all

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Speaker 2: of my life. And I hated this man all of

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Speaker 2: my life because it wasn't my father. You just and

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Speaker 2: and and I need to try to make this really clear.

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Speaker 2: I did not hate him because I did not want

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Speaker 2: him to be my father. I hated him because I

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Speaker 2: wanted him to be my father. So that's a different

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Speaker 2: type of images. And so now that I have been

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Speaker 2: introduced to my violat to father. It doesn't mean that

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Speaker 2: I go oh okay, la la la la lot. It's

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Speaker 2: like I have over half a century of hate and

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Speaker 2: anger that I've lived with that now has to be

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Speaker 2: reprogrammed and and and once again deconstructive because of what

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Speaker 2: I believed him to be. Yeah, and so now I'm

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Speaker 2: left with a lot of pieces that I'm having to

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Speaker 2: maneuver through. Yeah, And it takes time. And I'm not

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Speaker 2: going to rush so that people can have another homework move.

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that

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Speaker 2: that doesn't that doesn't benefit anybody involved. I'm gonna take

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Speaker 2: my time to do what it is I need to do.

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Speaker 2: In the press itself, I'm fifty three years old. I'm

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Speaker 2: looking for no daddy fifty three. He's gonna pick me

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Speaker 2: up from school, gonna what we're gonna do. Yeah, So

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Speaker 2: you know, I've got to I've got a maneuver and

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Speaker 2: then once again, you know, I have to divorce my

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Speaker 2: heart from what I thought was Yeah, you know, and

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Speaker 2: and and you know, this man went to his grave

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Speaker 2: knowing that I hated him. He went to his great

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Speaker 2: So you know that hurts too, be he didn't deserve it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So there's there's a lot there, you know. And

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Speaker 2: and the tour has been wonderful because I've been able to,

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Speaker 2: you know, get away. Now that the tour is ending,

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Speaker 2: I can be honest, I do feel anxiety.

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Speaker 1: Because you're not gonna have to sit in it for

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Speaker 1: a minute.

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Speaker 2: I know, I got to go home. Yeah, and I

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Speaker 2: know I got a maneuver.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, wow yeah yeah yeah, yeah, that's good. So tell

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Speaker 1: me a little bit more about the relationship that you

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Speaker 1: had with your Did you even have relationship with the

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Speaker 1: man you thought.

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Speaker 2: Was your father's Yeah, Well, you know, I'm adopted. I'm adopted.

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Speaker 2: I was adopted when I was four by sixty four

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Speaker 2: year old woman named Gertie. Gertrude was a widow. She

354
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Speaker 2: was born in nineteen oh eight.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, No, I had a fourth grade education, and

357
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Speaker 2: she recycled cans and newspapers to pay for my piano lessons.

358
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Speaker 2: And matter of fact, Gertrude died before she ever heard

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Speaker 2: any of my music. She never heard any music recording.

360
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Speaker 2: So in margin, in marginalized communities, it is not uncommon

361
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Speaker 2: for kids to be raised by people, but still there

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Speaker 2: may be some visual engagement maybe once twice, two, three

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Speaker 2: times a year with their biological parents. It's very dysfunctional,

364
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Speaker 2: but it's real well because a lot of times outside

365
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Speaker 2: of our communities, a child that's adopted is in a

366
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Speaker 2: system and you know, you know, a type of adoption

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Speaker 2: agency where they don't know their biologicals and they get adopted.

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Speaker 2: Now they still have a pain of them they're adopted,

369
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Speaker 2: but at least they're introduced to a family. And I

370
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Speaker 2: takes a man. A lot of times in our community,

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Speaker 2: you could be adopted and still know you're biological. So

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Speaker 2: it's a scar that never heals. It's a scar of

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Speaker 2: that stays open because every time that biological leaves to

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Speaker 2: go with a boyfriend or go wherever, you want to

375
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Speaker 2: know why you're not good enough to go with him? Yes,

376
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Speaker 2: And so that's what I've lived with my whole life.

377
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Speaker 2: So when I was six years old, I was introduced

378
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Speaker 2: to the man that at this point I thought was

379
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Speaker 2: my biological father. His father died, picked me up into

380
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Speaker 2: me to the funeral. I believe he probably wouldn't have

381
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Speaker 2: even done that, but the funeral was at a church

382
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Speaker 2: in that neighborhood I was living in with Girtue I

383
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Speaker 2: met him. Then I did see him Againstien I was thirteen. Wow.

384
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Speaker 2: I didn't see him again until after my first album

385
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Speaker 2: came out, and then he started trying to show up

386
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Speaker 2: at concerts, which pissed me. So we show we'll have

387
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Speaker 2: a relationship, my guy. Yes, no relation, And so that's

388
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Speaker 2: kind of how that would start to be. And so

389
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Speaker 2: after that I would even hate him more. So. It

390
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Speaker 2: was not a man that tried to pursue me at

391
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Speaker 2: any point and tried to or for anything. It wasn't

392
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Speaker 2: until after and by the time I'm twenty three years old,

393
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Speaker 2: twenty five years old, and yeah, that just didn't work.

394
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Speaker 1: Absolutely.

395
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Speaker 2: Yeah. So that that's that's that's that's really the context

396
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Speaker 2: of him.

397
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Speaker 1: Okay, so with your father, now we know this is

398
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Speaker 1: your biological father, and you say he's a good man,

399
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Speaker 1: he's a good man. Was there any point after meeting

400
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Speaker 1: him that little Kirk was like, dang, I missed out.

401
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 2: I can be candid with you that there is there was,

402
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 2: and there is a part of me that was very

403
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Speaker 2: angry at God. It is because I give you it

404
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:44,879
Speaker 2: to you in this in this capsuleized space. So God

405
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,400
Speaker 2: in a sovereign plan, because we believe in a sovereignty

406
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Speaker 2: of God. Right, we believe all things, you know, work together.

407
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 2: But we believe everything good, bad and ugly that God

408
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,400
Speaker 2: creates and a God allows it. That's the sovereignty plan.

409
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 2: That's that's that's the doctrine of sovereignty. Right. So, God

410
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 2: in the plan allowed my biological father to be ten

411
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Speaker 2: minutes away from me my entire life, and I didn't

412
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Speaker 2: know it. In that space, I developed some bad habits,

413
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Speaker 2: became very promiscuous girls, you know, trying to find the

414
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 2: love and girls that I didn't have in my mama

415
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 2: is because my mama wasn't there either. And so those habits,

416
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Speaker 2: as you now become a Christian, now those habits are sins.

417
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Speaker 1: Ooh, yeah, I.

418
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Speaker 2: Feel what I'm going I do. So God, in his

419
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 2: sovereignty allowed this absence of my father. I developed bad

420
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Speaker 2: habits and then as I got older, they I become sins.

421
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Speaker 2: So God allowed absence that created now something that he hates. Ooh,

422
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Speaker 2: I war with that, God, I war with that? Wow

423
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Speaker 2: I do? I do? I do? I war with that.

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Speaker 1: I can imagine because as a young boy, you're just

425
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Speaker 1: looking to fill a void.

426
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Speaker 2: That's how you do. Yeah. So you do. And I

427
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 2: was never the kind of dude. It was like, yo, man,

428
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Speaker 2: I got this girl, you know, you know, like like

429
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,879
Speaker 2: like girls were never a chess match for me, you

430
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,199
Speaker 2: know what I mean. It was never trophies. It was

431
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Speaker 2: always you know, that absence of mama. You know what

432
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Speaker 2: I'm saying. But you know, when you're young and you

433
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 2: know you have you know, you know, you know sexual

434
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 2: urges and his eyes like a human would. You know,

435
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 2: it is how you interpret and how you try to

436
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 2: maneuverent what you think love is. And then you know

437
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 2: you realize that it's very a shallow approach to love,

438
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 2: but it's what you know. And so for God and

439
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,399
Speaker 2: this sovereign plan to allow that space because again in

440
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 2: the hood, there's no after school programs and deadcats and

441
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 2: what do kids do in the hood. You know, you know,

442
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:44,159
Speaker 2: you played a little game hi and go get it.

443
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

444
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,720
Speaker 2: You didn't got it. You didn't got it with my camera,

445
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 2: He didn't got it. He show got it. He got

446
00:24:52,760 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 2: it again and again and again. So you know, you know,

447
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:07,399
Speaker 2: you you just develop bad things that were allowed in

448
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 2: a space of God's sovereign sovereignly making this emptiness. And

449
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 2: so yeah, I struggle. I struggle, and I don't need

450
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 2: Christians trying to give me a theological answer. Let me struggle.

451
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:32,640
Speaker 2: I struggle. David struggled, Job struggled. We struggle, We struggle.

452
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,159
Speaker 2: Paul says, I see through a glass darkly. Now I

453
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 2: don't understand everything. Now, let us struggle, Chris, I don't.

454
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 2: I don't know what that is about Christians. We think

455
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 2: that we always got to have the answer and the

456
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,920
Speaker 2: sous everything. Sometimes the greatest thing, like, like one of

457
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 2: the things that pisses me off more than anything is

458
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 2: that when somebody's child dies and a Chris are saying, well,

459
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 2: God needed another angel, my nick boy. I just think

460
00:25:56,359 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 2: that that is the most offensive thing. Yeah, just shut up.

461
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 1: Bro, Yes, don't say anything.

462
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 2: Just shut up. And these are the things that I

463
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 2: want want people to understand that we do not offend.

464
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 2: If God is our father. I have kids, Ain't nothing

465
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 2: my kids can ever say to me that's going to

466
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 2: ever stop me from being a well. I mean, we've

467
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 2: seen some of my life living publicly. I'm still a daddy.

468
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 2: I'm still there, you know.

469
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 1: So, Yeah, I love that. Let's tap on that real quick.

470
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: I everybody saw the viral video of you going on

471
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 1: viral of you going in on your son.

472
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 2: Is it something new you're going to reveal?

473
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 1: But I remember watching it and I was like, I

474
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 1: think most of the black community was like, there ain't

475
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 1: nothing like nobody, you know, the overly Christian people like, oh,

476
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 1: you shouldn't do that, and that's not Christian like and

477
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 1: he shouldn't do that. But I'm allowed what I thought.

478
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, that's just a normal talking to

479
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 1: you know. But as I thought about it and just

480
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 1: thinking of our culture and how we have began to normalize, like, oh,

481
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: that's fine, you know what I'm saying, Like as my

482
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:16,880
Speaker 1: mom was talked to me, you know what I'm saying,

483
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 1: and we turned it all right, you know, but exactly,

484
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: it doesn't make it.

485
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 2: Right, doesn't make it right. And and that did not

486
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,919
Speaker 2: make me right. That that was a moment that I

487
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 2: was very disappointed in and and and I have to

488
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 2: own that, you know, you know, I I can allow

489
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 2: for any situation to allow me to get to that space,

490
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 2: and I can be honestly say that often like that

491
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 2: ain't the first time I went off on somebody like that.

492
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 2: You know, you know, I'm mon I'm monk. You know,

493
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 2: I have that Napoleon you know, then you know, and

494
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 2: I want all the smoke. Yeah, and if you crossed

495
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 2: me wrong, you know, it's like I you know, and

496
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 2: and that's and that's one of my weaknesses. That's one

497
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 2: of my struggles. And it's still Australian. If I see somebody,

498
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 2: you know, being treated wrong, I like to jump in

499
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 2: and take up form, you know, and and every word

500
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 2: and gonna be I pray for your brother, you know,

501
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 2: it's gonna be you know, and you know, and and

502
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 2: I struggled, you know that that's that's it's not right.

503
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 2: It's it's not right. But I'm not going to act

504
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,399
Speaker 2: in front of people that I've got it all together.

505
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 2: So you know, I want to acknowledge that it was

506
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 2: something I did wrong, and it was you know, my

507
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 2: son was thirty three at the time, thirty two thirty three,

508
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 2: you know, So again I'm you know, I'm also talking

509
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 2: to somebody who who put themselves in position of a man,

510
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 2: you know, and you know, and and we were happy

511
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 2: because you know, you know, his audio was on there too.

512
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 1: It was yes, you know, it was like.

513
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 2: You had you know, it.

514
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: Wasn't like I'm afraid of you saying.

515
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 2: And it's just supposed to like why are you talking

516
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 2: to like any It wasn't that, you know, his re sponsors,

517
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 2: like what what? You know? It was too man. But again, somebody,

518
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 2: somebody got to be the bigger person and I wasn't. Wow,

519
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 2: you know, and I hate that too, man. But because

520
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 2: and the reason why I also hated it, you know,

521
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 2: is because I I knew the state of my son

522
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 2: and that should have allowed me to be more gracious.

523
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 1: I feel like that in itself as a message to parents.

524
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, yeah, man, I knew the state of my son.

525
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 2: But I just sudden, you know, it just caught me

526
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 2: because I hadn't talked to when when when when he

527
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 2: recorded me, I hadn't. I hadn't talked to carry On

528
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 2: like that was the second time I talked to carry

529
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 2: On in two two and a half years. And it

530
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,239
Speaker 2: was then, and those conversations were back to back, like

531
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 2: one weekend and next weekend, and they were both bad

532
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 2: because the audio that y'all heard, they were two separate conversations.

533
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 2: So he recorded me twice.

534
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you feel betrayed?

535
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 2: Yes? I did, Yes, I did, Yes, I did. I

536
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 2: felt very much betrayed. But again it doesn't justify what

537
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 2: I did. And again I knew the state of my son.

538
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 2: And you know, let me also say this also, man,

539
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 2: my son is a beautiful I love him. Yeah, he's

540
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 2: my firstborn. I love him. He's so handsome, he's so

541
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 2: oh you talented. Oh man, this kid has so much talent.

542
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 2: And well this young, this this this grown. Yeah yeah, yeah,

543
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 2: he's thirty five now, and and I love him and

544
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 2: I still believe in him. And you know, we've got

545
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 2: a lot of work that we we have to do,

546
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 2: but it's a lot of work that I'm committed to do.

547
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 2: Oh man, he's my son, he's my first born. And

548
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 2: me and this boy but tight, tight, like like he

549
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 2: was my road dog when my career first took off.

550
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 2: I remember being at a and he was like five.

551
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 2: I remember being at a high school doing signing autographs,

552
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 2: my first album, signing autographs, and we looked down and

553
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 2: this little Negro signing art. Yeah, so you know, yeah,

554
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 2: you know, you know he was I mean, he was

555
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 2: my guy. Yeah, but he is my guy. Yeah, yeah,

556
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 2: you know, I mean, I mean he's been all over

557
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 2: the world with me. That he's been all over the

558
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 2: world with me. Wow, that's my guy.

559
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: I saw on your documentary you had a conversation with

560
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 1: him and told him that you had found your father,

561
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 1: and you all had a very warm embrace. What did

562
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 1: that moment feel like? Because I know that's when I

563
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 1: lost it all, Like I was crying the whole episode,

564
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 1: But then that's when I was like because it felt

565
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 1: like we were there through it with you.

566
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Well, you know, I hadn't seen him in

567
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 2: over ten years. Wow, I had seen him over ten

568
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 2: years when that happened. So so when I saw him,

569
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 2: you know, for for that doc you know, you know,

570
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 2: it had been over a decade, and so just to

571
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 2: get a chest, to see him, to hold him, you know,

572
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 2: it was beautiful for me. It was beautiful for me

573
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 2: because I hadn't been able to just touch him.

574
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know.

575
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 2: And uh, you know, he's been through a lot. He's

576
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 2: been through a lot. He has been through a lot,

577
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 2: you know. And and and I want more of that,

578
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 2: you know. And I'm very proud of the fact that

579
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 2: the hard, deep work I see him doing, and and

580
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 2: and I believe someday, when when carry On is ready,

581
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 2: he's going to be able to help a lot of

582
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 2: young men. Wow, I'm telling you, I'm telling his story.

583
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 2: His story is going to be Oh yeah, special, special.

584
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: I love that with everything that you've gone through, you've

585
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 1: had your beautiful wife, Tammy s Sammy. I love you, Sis,

586
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 1: you have had her by your side. And oftentimes we

587
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: see Kirk and you are the one that we see.

588
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 1: You're the household name, but we don't think about how

589
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 1: it's affecting everyone around you. And I saw she was

590
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 1: in a state of shock as well when you found

591
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: out that you got the DNA results back and you

592
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: were on the phone. You're like, say that again, Like,

593
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 1: she's lied. My mom has lied to me my whole life.

594
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 1: How has it affected Tammy? I d cause sometimes I

595
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: don't know if you're like me, I'm the type of

596
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 1: person where I need to be by myself.

597
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 2: That's the problem. That's it right there, And it's it's

598
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 2: and I don't know if that's a creative thing, and

599
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 2: that's the thing of creatives. I don't know what that is,

600
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 2: but it's I think that that's what I have to

601
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 2: manage more than anything, the natural instinct to be alone. Yeah,

602
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 2: and first of all, shout out to Tammy Franklin. Tammy

603
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 2: Franklin is a beautiful soul. She's an incredible woman. Yeah,

604
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,959
Speaker 2: she's an amazing woman. And it takes a lot to

605
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 2: be married to someone who has lived with so much

606
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 2: of a traumatic book. Because my f you know, my

607
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 2: experiences have not only been traumatical ast for as natural family,

608
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 2: my experience I have been traumatic when it comes to religion.

609
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 2: When it comes to religion, because think about it, man,

610
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 2: is I've been that and we noticed. I've been dogged

611
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 2: my career even by the kind of music I do

612
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 2: with the church. You know, I've been kicked out of churches.

613
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 2: I've been kicked out of Bible colleges for I mean,

614
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 2: you know. And so it just takes a very special

615
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 2: woman to be able to experience all of that. And yeah,

616
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 2: this is a season where I find isolation in being

617
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 2: alone even something more that I gravitate to, and I

618
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,840
Speaker 2: have to fight to try to be intentional, to be reminded.

619
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 2: And the first to that that my kids are gone

620
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 2: is because my kids was interesting for me, and again

621
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 2: because I didn't have family. See t me comes from

622
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 2: a big family, So what was natural for her was

623
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 2: very unnatural for me. And so having kids gave me

624
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 2: something to make up for all the hurd I didn't

625
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:06,959
Speaker 2: have not having a daddy. I put it all in them.

626
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 2: I put it all in them. Sometimes even to the

627
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,359
Speaker 2: fault I can be honest and saying, and I've never

628
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 2: said this on anything before, and I even saying, and

629
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 2: I'll be transparent here to say, is that, even to

630
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 2: a fault that a lot of times I realize now

631
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,879
Speaker 2: that they were empty nesting, I probably invested even more

632
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 2: to them than I even sometimes did her, because with her,

633
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 2: the natural man to do things is always the red bottoms,

634
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 2: the car, the person. You know. You know, you're always

635
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 2: doing the things that you think are the things the thing,

636
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,440
Speaker 2: and they're not the things, you know, and so I

637
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 2: am guilty of that. I am make surely guilty of that.

638
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 2: You know I don't, and you know it's not intentional.

639
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 2: It's just what you end up doing because you're so

640
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 2: busy trying to make it and then when you come

641
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:56,399
Speaker 2: from poverty, you know, you think that these things are

642
00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 2: the things that matter. But also it was a lot

643
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 2: for me, A lot of the attention was these kids

644
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 2: cannot feel what I felt, They cannot feel what I feel.

645
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 2: And not having a blueprint for being a daddy. I

646
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 2: overdid the day, you know what I mean. You know,

647
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 2: it's it's like I would come in from the studio,

648
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 2: you know, three or four o'clock in the morning and

649
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 2: sit up and sit up in the chair so I

650
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 2: wouldn't fall asleep, so I could take them to school,

651
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,280
Speaker 2: you know, because like they cannot feel it, they cannot

652
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 2: feel it. And so that's what drove me.

653
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, but in all that, you feel like you was

654
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: neglecting Tommy as well.

655
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 2: It's I don't, well, that would be for her to

656
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:40,919
Speaker 2: say if it was neglecting you know, you know, it's yeah,

657
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 2: you know, but but but but whatever she may feel,

658
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 2: I look back and go, you know, man, I did

659
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 2: not learn. And then it's also the things that you know,

660
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 2: some things are taught, some things are caught, and I

661
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 2: did not have a lot around me to be able

662
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 2: to teach me some of the husband stuff. Now, my

663
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 2: spiritual father, I've spent a lot of time with him,

664
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 2: trying to learn how to be a husband, trying to

665
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:09,280
Speaker 2: learn how to be a goliment.

666
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 1: Tony saw his own documentary you're talking about.

667
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 2: He's my hero. He's my hero and so you know,

668
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 2: I know that still got a lot of learning, you know.

669
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 2: And I think that this empty nesting things shook.

670
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: Me because you have nothing to be like. Wait, I

671
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,280
Speaker 1: gotta sit in this for real, look in the mirror.

672
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 2: Maybe and see what people also to realize. Tam and

673
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 2: I got married with kids.

674
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: Oh I didn't know that.

675
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 2: We've never lived by ourselves. Wow, okay, yeah, I had

676
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 2: carried not her as much me because again I come

677
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 2: to the table with these family deficiencies. So you know,

678
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 2: I got married on a Saturday and went on a

679
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 2: plane that tuesday. Oh wow. And and and I've been

680
00:37:57,239 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 2: going ever since. And we had to and we had

681
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 2: two kids already, and then we and then we got

682
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 2: pregnant less than a year in a marriage, so you know,

683
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 2: we just you know, it just kept it. And so

684
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 2: the kids became. And when you travel as much as

685
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:17,760
Speaker 2: I do, you do have the fear of the kids

686
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 2: missing out. You know, it's almost like, as a man,

687
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 2: the natural button it's to think of the kids. I

688
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 2: don't know what that is, you just naturally worry. Okay, Well,

689
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:28,719
Speaker 2: I want these kids and missing me with their play,

690
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 2: I don't miss me. You know. It's it's because I

691
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: think that the life of the children and all that

692
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:40,280
Speaker 2: they're involved in becomes the priority for both parents at times.

693
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 2: Because you know, I was very blessed to be able

694
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:46,279
Speaker 2: to have a position where Tammy didn't have to go

695
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 2: to work, you know, so she you know, and I

696
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 2: enjoyed watching her poor it to these kids. So you know,

697
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 2: that's that was our nucleus. So now that we don't

698
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 2: have those things after and again not her me, it's

699
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 2: like my babies are gone, I don't have anything to nurture,

700
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 2: and so I'm trying to find my ways.

701
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, I can't imagine what that's like. And it's

702
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 1: crazy because as adults we start to look back from

703
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 1: like like you said, I just wanted I never wanted

704
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:26,359
Speaker 1: them to feel what I felt. Never And but that

705
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: little boy and that little girl never leaves us.

706
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 2: That's what it is. That's what it is. And again

707
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 2: that ain't got nothing to do with your spouse. You know,

708
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 2: like I said, you know, Tammy superwoman, she is man.

709
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 2: Tammy is a super here, She's a super Tammy's one

710
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 2: of the most kindness. And again Tammy's got a great

711
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 2: you know parents, you know she you know, my daddy,

712
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 2: big old house, the girl I came from sleeping in

713
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 2: the car, you know what I mean. I pawned Gvirtue's

714
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 2: wedding ring when I was twenty because I was so

715
00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 2: hungry and had no food, pawn her wedding ring and

716
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 2: the lawnmower. So that's how bad things were for me,

717
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 2: you know. So you know, you know, you're just trying

718
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 2: to figure it out.

719
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you live because you've made it?

720
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 1: But do you feel like you ever catch yourself living

721
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,840
Speaker 1: in a scarcity mindset, remembering being homeless and having the

722
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 1: pun always.

723
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 2: Always, and there's never myself for me that I've made it,

724
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 2: Like I don't feel like I've made it?

725
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:25,879
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me?

726
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 2: Girl? Are you kidding? Because see, here's what you gotta understand. Also,

727
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 2: I'm also part of a musical genre that is a

728
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 2: niche genre, like like like I'm not doing mainstream music,

729
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 2: like I don't do mainstream now now now, Now, I

730
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 2: can't deny and say that the Lord has been extremely

731
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 2: kind in my career, but you got to understand, I'm

732
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 2: part of a genre that behind closed doors, I'm always

733
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 2: dealing with issues like I am man, Okay, it is

734
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 2: it is. I am part of a genre that behind

735
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 2: closed doors, I'm always knocking and begging. Wow, because people

736
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 2: on the bigger platforms, major corporations and companies, they don't

737
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:17,320
Speaker 2: believe in gospel music. They don't see the marketing value

738
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 2: in gospels. So you're always having to prove to them

739
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 2: that it can work. There has never been a time

740
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,800
Speaker 2: in my career that a red carpet has been laid out.

741
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: Wow.

742
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 2: It's feast of femin over here my entire career. Baby girl,

743
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 2: you better ask, man, you better ask. Out Of all

744
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 2: the tours that I've done in my life, and I've

745
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:43,320
Speaker 2: been touring for the last twenty five years, I've only

746
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:47,359
Speaker 2: done two tours in my life that were profitable. What

747
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 2: it was The Hopeville tour right after September eleventh where

748
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 2: Don mcclerkt and Eline Adams it was profitable. And the

749
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 2: Maverick Tour. Wow, those are the only tours that I've

750
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 2: I personally was financially the best to make to make

751
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 2: money and come on money. Only two tours, yeah, because

752
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 2: everything else, you're having to really invest in it yourself.

753
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.

754
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 2: Yeah. Man, In gospel music, there's that's why you don't

755
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 2: really see people running to do gospel music. But you

756
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 2: know it ain't it ain't like it's a flow of

757
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 2: funds and flow of opportunities. No, gospel music is feast

758
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 2: of famine. Yeah, so when you have a conversation, I

759
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 2: made it. We're so busy knocking on doors. We don't

760
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:33,120
Speaker 2: even know what that means. We're so busy banging on doors.

761
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 2: Give us a chance, Give us a chance. Oh yeah,

762
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:38,880
Speaker 2: always my entire career.

763
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 1: Wow, you just never know because people like I look

764
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 1: at him like, oh, he's made it. Man, he's been

765
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 1: doing this since.

766
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 2: I can remember. Asked when you next time you call

767
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 2: tam ass Tammy, tell your man all of the headaches

768
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:55,319
Speaker 2: and the man the tears and the discouragement. Oh man,

769
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 2: the nose. Wow, because think about it, man, you know

770
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 2: it's twenty twenty three, talking about Jesus, like selling amways,

771
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 2: selling avon, knocking on people doors, you know, trying to

772
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 2: get people to believe it's something they don't even use anymore.

773
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 4: That a preach, right, yes, preach, trying to get them

774
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 4: to believe in something that.

775
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 1: They don't even use it, they don't even use it.

776
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 1: Then let it go over your head. My god, my god,

777
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:33,840
Speaker 1: why haven't you given up? You talk about this industry

778
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 1: does not support It's like you're constantly knocking on the

779
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,360
Speaker 1: door asking for help, but you haven't given up yet.

780
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 2: First of all, I'm too ambitious. I'm too ambitious, I am.

781
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 2: Let me tell you, I'm ambitious. I can't sit down

782
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:51,880
Speaker 2: like I It's like, I'm hungry. I'm a new artist.

783
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 2: Every record I approach is a new artist. I am.

784
00:43:54,840 --> 00:44:00,160
Speaker 2: I'm trying, and I think some of that is that abandonment. Know,

785
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 2: I am fueled by my trauma. Wow, And I'm okay.

786
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 2: I'm okay with it because I could be fueled doing

787
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:12,279
Speaker 2: some other things. You know. I'm fube. I'm few by

788
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 2: my trauma. I'm too ambitious, I'm too hungry. I tell

789
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:19,239
Speaker 2: like I had a I had a couple of younger

790
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 2: producers come into my studio and they saw, you know,

791
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 2: the little you know, the little you know whatever the

792
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 2: stuff is, that you'll be winning whatever and and and

793
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 2: and and and one of them said, he said, he said, uh,

794
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 2: he said, oh gee, what's the secret. First of all,

795
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:35,920
Speaker 2: just learning to call me O G.

796
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 1: I was like, You're like, wait a minute, that's like

797
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: people call me.

798
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:42,359
Speaker 2: I'm like y'all watch it. Yeah, yeah, calm that down. Yes,

799
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 2: And I said to him, I said, well, I think

800
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 2: I know what you're asking me, and so I'll give

801
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:52,319
Speaker 2: you the answer. I said, what what? And but I said,

802
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,480
Speaker 2: I said, but it's not gonna be sexy, man, it's

803
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 2: not gonna be sexy. I said. The answer is I

804
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 2: am too secure for you to forget me. I can't

805
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:07,440
Speaker 2: afford for you to forget me. So I'm going to

806
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 2: do whatever I need to do to make sure that

807
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 2: you don't forget because I can't afford to be forgotten.

808
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 1: Wow.

809
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 2: Not in an arrogant state, just the fact of man,

810
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 2: they can't forgive me. It's it's like it's like I

811
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 2: can't afford to be forgotten. I know what it's like

812
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 2: to be forgotten. Jeez mmmm hurt.

813
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:35,440
Speaker 1: So yeah, Kirk, with everything that you've been through, we

814
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 1: are really big on mental health here in the kids community.

815
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 1: You have had a therapist for over twenty years. Yeah. No, yes,

816
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:44,360
Speaker 1: even before therapy was popular.

817
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 2: Because you begin a discount by now, DOCTA. I need

818
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 2: a discount. I haven brought so many people to you.

819
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 1: I have.

820
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 2: He tells me he's not jeering. He's like oh, your documentary.

821
00:45:54,880 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 2: It's got people calling me. I said, man, can you

822
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:02,839
Speaker 2: that's my man? I love him.

823
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 1: That's amazing. I love that you got into it before

824
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 1: it was even popular. What made you say I need

825
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: therapy because broken? Wow?

826
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 2: I was broken and I am wired naturally to seek help.

827
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 2: That's who I am, naturally, like I get on people's nerves.

828
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 2: I'm the type of person if that's a bump on

829
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 2: my pinka hoe, I'm at the doctor the next day.

830
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 1: What is that that though?

831
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 2: Because you never know, because that I'm like, they're gonna

832
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 2: take my pinka toe, you know. And it's like the

833
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:39,439
Speaker 2: doctor comes in, it's a bunyant, you know, and I'm like, lid,

834
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. Because I'm just I'm just

835
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:47,560
Speaker 2: that type of person. I'm always wanting help. I always

836
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 2: want help. I'm not afraid for help. That's good and

837
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:52,799
Speaker 2: that could be that deficiency.

838
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I was thinking that, Yeah, but it's

839
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:57,239
Speaker 1: good you're not afraid to ask for it at all,

840
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,439
Speaker 1: because a lot of would be oblivious or some people

841
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 1: don't even know they needed.

842
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:02,840
Speaker 2: No, I'm a black man that praise and she's a therapist.

843
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,800
Speaker 1: That's amazing because even I know. I know people personally

844
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 1: they're like, I don't need the but have Jesus.

845
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 2: And I'm like that that it sounds so dumb. Again,

846
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 2: so that sounds so dumb. I don't need therapy. I

847
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:16,920
Speaker 2: have Jesus.

848
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:18,479
Speaker 1: Dumb.

849
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 2: I have cancer, but I'm not going to get chemo

850
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 2: because I have Jesus.

851
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 1: Right, come on, literally, because I know they would go

852
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:28,840
Speaker 1: get that chemo.

853
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:33,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm not going to take a shower because

854
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:40,759
Speaker 2: I have Jesus. Yeah, I'm hungry. I'm hungry, but he's

855
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 2: the bread of life.

856
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have Jesus.

857
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 2: Jesus.

858
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:56,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, oh my goodness, so good. So you talk

859
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 1: about you constantly questioning God. You go through this phase

860
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:03,759
Speaker 1: where you question God a lot throughout your life, but

861
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:09,360
Speaker 1: not realizing that everything that you've done has allowed people

862
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 1: not to through your career, through your songs, like for

863
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:17,839
Speaker 1: me personally, like you gave me reason, like I can move,

864
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,520
Speaker 1: I can go on. I know that I can make it.

865
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 1: I know that I can stand even those ones why

866
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 1: I don't feel like, are God wise? Is happening? You've

867
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 1: given everybody hope. Do you ever go through situations or

868
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 1: question yourself behind closed doors? Like, I know that I

869
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 1: doubt in question God, but I'm telling these people you

870
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 1: can do it, you can do it.

871
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 2: And there's that hypocritical Yeah. One of the greatest illustrations

872
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:45,760
Speaker 2: of this level of honesty, to me is the Apostle Paul.

873
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 2: The Apostle Paul is this individual that God uses to

874
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 2: write ninety percent of the New Testament, so he is

875
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:57,240
Speaker 2: the architect of the New Testament Church. And his letters

876
00:48:57,239 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 2: to the churches, they they set the trajectory of us

877
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 2: understanding the the ideal construct of grace m moving people

878
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:13,240
Speaker 2: from law and legalism. And yet and and and all

879
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 2: of his uh uh r writings and teachings and blue

880
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 2: prints for us to be able to now be able

881
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 2: to have uh uh personal access to God the Father

882
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:29,319
Speaker 2: through his uhs resurrected son Jesus Christ. He says in Romans,

883
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 2: something that is the template for the discussion we're having.

884
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:37,840
Speaker 2: He says to the Romans, he says, but everything that

885
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 2: I'm writing to you, guys, I admit I have not

886
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:42,880
Speaker 2: obtained it. M For the things that I want to

887
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 2: do are the things I don't do. The good that

888
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 2: I desire to do the things I don't do, and

889
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:50,480
Speaker 2: the things that I don't wanna do, other things I

890
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 2: end up doing. Oh wretch man that I am, who

891
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 2: will free me from this body of death?

892
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 1: He just did. That was the intro of one of

893
00:49:58,680 --> 00:49:59,240
Speaker 1: your songs.

894
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:05,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, well yeah, I've done it

895
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 2: many times. I've done I've talked about it. Yeah yeah, yeah.

896
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:12,439
Speaker 2: It's because I think that that is the See. See

897
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 2: the paradox of Christianity is I am a mess and

898
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:23,320
Speaker 2: a miracle at the same time. Yes, that is the paradox.

899
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 2: I am a mess and a miracle at the same time.

900
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 2: And so that is why I am so irritated with

901
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 2: the perfect bow wrapped on the package of what it

902
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 2: looks like to be like Jesus. Because the template in

903
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 2: the book that we use, and in this canon of

904
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 2: scripture that gives us the outline of how we desire

905
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 2: to live are written by murderers, liars, adulterous killers, cheatahs,

906
00:50:55,640 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 2: bad parents, you know, like these and polygamists and and

907
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:06,080
Speaker 2: and and and all of these things that we call

908
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 2: them our heroes, but they were messes and miracles at

909
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 2: the same time. But we don't give that level of

910
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 2: patience and grace to each other. While we call them,

911
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:20,120
Speaker 2: I don't understand. It is the most it is and

912
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 2: that's why I believe. I believe you see one of

913
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 2: the greatest exoduses out of Christianity that we have seen

914
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 2: in the twenty first century. We have so many people

915
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,359
Speaker 2: leaving Christianity because people can't take that no more.

916
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:32,840
Speaker 1: They can't.

917
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 2: It's like, it's like it's because see, when you go

918
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:37,920
Speaker 2: to the club, you know what you're getting. When you

919
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 2: go to the you know what you're getting. When you

920
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:42,839
Speaker 2: smoke this, you know, well, you hope, you know, yeah,

921
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 2: when you drink this, you know you you It's it's

922
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 2: it's like there's no ambiguity yes to the things outside

923
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 2: of these religious dogmatic structures. You know, I'm saying to

924
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 2: you that as a Christian that is married, that is

925
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:01,359
Speaker 2: a father that stands from the peace people, there are

926
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 2: things about me that are not yet like Jesus. And

927
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:09,080
Speaker 2: there's a lot about me I am. One of my

928
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:13,840
Speaker 2: mentors said, he he gave me a quote. Well, he

929
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,239
Speaker 2: said something to me that I made a quote, and

930
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:17,760
Speaker 2: so one of my phones a screamsaver. He said, Kirk,

931
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 2: you are a man, a sinner, a saint, and a star.

932
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 2: And then he said the odds are against you. You

933
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,680
Speaker 2: see what I'm saying. It's like, that's real talk. Now.

934
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:36,040
Speaker 2: I don't say myself as a star, that's what he said,

935
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 2: you know, But I understand the content he was talking about,

936
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:41,200
Speaker 2: just a public fea, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah,

937
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 2: so but but then he concluded a saying, but if

938
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 2: God before you, so you know. But but but the

939
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:50,240
Speaker 2: thing is, every day I am a man, a sinner,

940
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:54,800
Speaker 2: a saint, and a public figure or whatever, and I

941
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 2: live in those realities every day. The things that I

942
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,000
Speaker 2: would do good are the things I don't always do.

943
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:03,480
Speaker 2: And the things I don't do I think I shouldn't

944
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 2: do it. The things I do. Yeah, Oh, rich Man.

945
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 1: That I am so wow. I'm just blown away right now. Seriously,

946
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 1: thank you so much.

947
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,399
Speaker 2: Thank you for having me in your beautiful home, and

948
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 2: congratulations to all of your great success, and it just

949
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,560
Speaker 2: makes me proud. And from a distance, I'm just proud,

950
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 2: you know. I mean, there are others that know you

951
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 2: in more intimate, closer ways, but just you know, on

952
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:32,920
Speaker 2: the outside, it's like, is it beautiful?

953
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:33,640
Speaker 1: Thank you so much.

954
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:35,480
Speaker 2: It is so dope. I'm so proud of you, and

955
00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:38,840
Speaker 2: you're so consistent with everybody you meet. Everybody you meet, you're.

956
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 1: The you are too, though. I feel like every time

957
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 1: I've met you in different moments, you've been from meeting

958
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:45,640
Speaker 1: you at the studio, meeting you, seeing you on the

959
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:49,600
Speaker 1: red carpets, meeting you backstage at Maverick City concert to

960
00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:53,359
Speaker 1: now like you are the same person and you are unforgettable,

961
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:56,520
Speaker 1: like literally, like when you say I'm too insecure to

962
00:53:56,520 --> 00:54:00,239
Speaker 1: be forgotten, Like every moment I was like man, and

963
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 1: it was amazing, and it it always sticks with me.

964
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,000
Speaker 1: I want you to know that you are unforgettable, like seriously,

965
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:13,440
Speaker 1: and I hope that you can just come to and

966
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 1: understanding that you are enough and that you can let

967
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:20,200
Speaker 1: that insecurity go because you really are a light. You

968
00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:23,239
Speaker 1: are a star like in our eyes. You really are

969
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 1: and I want you to know that and walk in there.

970
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:26,600
Speaker 1: It's confidently, but.

971
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,960
Speaker 2: I want you to know if I don't, I'm okay

972
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 2: because my weakness God uses for other strength.

973
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:37,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a witness, so I'm okay.

974
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really am. And I know that sounds like

975
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:45,879
Speaker 2: it's trying to be other world or super surreal. I'm

976
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:48,560
Speaker 2: really coming to a place, you know what's cool if

977
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:50,920
Speaker 2: I getting older, is you get to places where you

978
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 2: really don't care. Oh, my gosh, it's wonderful. It is,

979
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:59,879
Speaker 2: it's wonderful. I'm okay because I understand how the limp

980
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:02,320
Speaker 2: lead to other people's race.

981
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:04,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm good.

982
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:05,319
Speaker 2: I'm good.

983
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:11,399
Speaker 1: That is so good. At the close of our show,

984
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,800
Speaker 1: we do what is called positive outcomes, where our listeners

985
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:15,720
Speaker 1: right into us and we give them advice.

986
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 2: Okay, you down, I'm down.

987
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:17,840
Speaker 1: All right, let's do it.

988
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:18,400
Speaker 2: Let's get it.

989
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 1: This and says Hi, Crystal. I'm fifty years old and

990
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:23,319
Speaker 1: for the past eighteen years I've been in relationship with

991
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 1: a married man. I know that it's not okay. How

992
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:28,320
Speaker 1: many years eighteen years?

993
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:30,400
Speaker 2: She's been really yeah with a marb man.

994
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know this is not okay to be with

995
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:35,240
Speaker 1: a married man. But I'm fifty and I'm more afraid

996
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:37,239
Speaker 1: that I will never meet someone, and I don't want

997
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 1: to be alone. I have a sixteen year old daughters.

998
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:41,319
Speaker 1: We have a sixteen year old daughter together, and she

999
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 1: does not know that her father has a whole other family.

1000
00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 1: I have gotten to the point where I can no

1001
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 1: longer keep lying to my daughter and want to tell

1002
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:50,400
Speaker 1: her the truth. But her father does not want her

1003
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 1: to know. I don't want her to find out from

1004
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:55,440
Speaker 1: another source down the line. But I don't want her

1005
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 1: to judge me either. What should I do.

1006
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 2: For the sake of the child? I think how old

1007
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:09,520
Speaker 2: is her daughter?

1008
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 1: Sixteen? Yeah, so she's probably starting to have she knows.

1009
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,000
Speaker 1: It seems like she knows her father. She just doesn't

1010
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:18,760
Speaker 1: know that she has another family.

1011
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:24,920
Speaker 2: Gotch. Okay, so she knows that this guy should yeah, okay.

1012
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, she does not know that her father has a

1013
00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:28,200
Speaker 1: whole other family.

1014
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 2: Gotcham, But she knows of him. Does he spend time

1015
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 2: with her?

1016
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:36,240
Speaker 1: I don't know? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1017
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:42,680
Speaker 2: I would recommend that heard her daughter find a beautiful

1018
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:49,400
Speaker 2: therapist because whatever the outcome is of the woman and

1019
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:53,839
Speaker 2: the relationship, it doesn't change the fact that the daughter's here. Yeah,

1020
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. The daughter is alive and here,

1021
00:56:57,239 --> 00:57:03,000
Speaker 2: so you know, it's really now about the daughter and

1022
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:06,239
Speaker 2: the well being of the daughter. You know, you know,

1023
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:10,760
Speaker 2: the unfortunate events of how the child got here doesn't

1024
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 2: take one the fact that the child is here, and

1025
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:15,839
Speaker 2: so now it's all about what the best interest is

1026
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 2: for the child. I would find a therapist who can

1027
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 2: be able to make sure that the young lady is

1028
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:27,600
Speaker 2: the least damage. Yes, because there's going to be damage,

1029
00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:32,680
Speaker 2: you know, you know, she's a casualty of this experience.

1030
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:38,240
Speaker 2: But I would really try to find a therapist. It

1031
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 2: is because the two of them have a child together now,

1032
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 2: so you know their experience is now secondary.

1033
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 1: To that baby.

1034
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 2: You know, and and and you know there's going to

1035
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:53,680
Speaker 2: be repercussion, there's going to be fallout, there's going to

1036
00:57:53,680 --> 00:57:56,800
Speaker 2: be all of those realities. But I would recommend them

1037
00:57:56,800 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 2: to be able to get to a loving professional, not

1038
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,720
Speaker 2: not not a not a deacon at the church. Hell,

1039
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 2: who do who do counseling? In between professional and real professor?

1040
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 2: Somebody's got a couple of pieces of paper behind their name.

1041
00:58:16,440 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, you know, and I'm saying that.

1042
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:20,760
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that that makes them perfect, but there

1043
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:24,760
Speaker 2: is a discipline that comes from the rigorous process of

1044
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 2: getting to that place, right. So that's what I that,

1045
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:31,320
Speaker 2: That's what I would You know, I'm not a professional,

1046
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 2: but I know that children matter.

1047
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with you one thousand percent, and I

1048
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 1: can speak I'm sure you know families that like grandparents,

1049
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:46,320
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people my age have grandparents

1050
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:48,479
Speaker 1: who grand a mail stepped out and had a whole

1051
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:50,800
Speaker 1: nother child on the other side of town, and you

1052
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:52,840
Speaker 1: don't find out about it until your girl's like, oh,

1053
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 1: I got a brother.

1054
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:56,600
Speaker 2: That's what you know until that funeral.

1055
00:58:57,040 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 1: Right, Yes, everything starts, everything comes out of funeral. But

1056
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:03,200
Speaker 1: the child is the one that has to suffer not

1057
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:06,760
Speaker 1: knowing that, like their friend that in high school was

1058
00:59:06,800 --> 00:59:10,200
Speaker 1: actually their brother or their sister. You know that party.

1059
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:12,520
Speaker 1: Oh that's the worst when you found like, wait, a weet,

1060
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 1: we're related, it ain't. Nobody told me so. Yes, I

1061
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 1: would definitely be honest with her honestly, Yes, for sure.

1062
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 1: Great advice. Okay, so the next thing we do is

1063
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:30,800
Speaker 1: what I'm going through and what I'm growing through. For

1064
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 1: what I'm going through, what I'm growing through for me

1065
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:40,400
Speaker 1: in this season I am going through and it's been

1066
00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:44,160
Speaker 1: like this. I'm such a control freak. I tell everybody

1067
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:46,800
Speaker 1: is I like to know the variables. I don't like

1068
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:52,959
Speaker 1: anything unknown. I like to control it. You know you do, yes,

1069
00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:56,520
Speaker 1: And for me it is trust in God. And even

1070
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:59,600
Speaker 1: with this strike that just okay, we just finished the

1071
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 1: strike and we're not We're going back to work. But

1072
01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:04,880
Speaker 1: even in that I was tested so much. I know

1073
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 1: you were, Oh my goodness.

1074
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:09,840
Speaker 2: I know your life bill was tested. It sure was.

1075
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:12,960
Speaker 2: I don't know your cardinal was tested. Are you kidding me?

1076
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:18,120
Speaker 2: Please mortgage every listen. I was like, come on, let's

1077
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:22,400
Speaker 2: keep it a buck. Yes, okay, sitting around when when when? When?

1078
01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:24,280
Speaker 2: When you're doing what we do, is like, I'm going

1079
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 2: to have the next three years saved.

1080
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 1: Up right for when the strike happens.

1081
01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:30,680
Speaker 2: Now when you're an entrepreneur, because a lot of what

1082
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 2: we do, we eat, when we kill.

1083
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:37,439
Speaker 1: We do so true. Yeah, but in that, in this time,

1084
01:00:37,520 --> 01:00:39,439
Speaker 1: it's like really taught me that God has it because

1085
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:42,520
Speaker 1: literally I was praying to God and I said, God,

1086
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 1: it was so funny because I went I was filming

1087
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:48,240
Speaker 1: last week, I was filming the podcast, and I went

1088
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 1: downstairs to give me an energy drink and it was

1089
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 1: the last day of filming, and literally the Holy Spirit

1090
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 1: hit me. I hit that last step down there and

1091
01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:58,320
Speaker 1: I said ooh and literally said the strike is gonna

1092
01:00:58,320 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 1: be over.

1093
01:00:58,960 --> 01:00:59,160
Speaker 2: Wow.

1094
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 1: And I went to Tyler's premiere and everybody's like, oh, yeah,

1095
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 1: a strike gonna be I give it like tomorrow, I

1096
01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 1: said no today. No, she said January. I said no today,

1097
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:10,160
Speaker 1: and literally within two hours, everybody got the phone started

1098
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 1: going off. She was like, you said, I was like no.

1099
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:15,080
Speaker 1: I was like I felt it, like this bear really

1100
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 1: hit me because I have been the lord.

1101
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:21,840
Speaker 2: Come on now, I even moved swiftly. Oh this thing, Yeah, yeah,

1102
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:22,560
Speaker 2: I like the door.

1103
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:26,400
Speaker 1: When we got all these brand partnerships, and she gets swimming,

1104
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:29,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, so when that money coming, Yeah, I need

1105
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 1: this a month ago. It's thirty days, thirty come on, listen.

1106
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:36,520
Speaker 2: Listen, man, Like I tell you I I have struggled

1107
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 2: with through these tours. I told temp because because Tampa

1108
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 2: want a new house and uh well we were blessed

1109
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:46,440
Speaker 2: to get a new house and gradu and uh and

1110
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 2: and I always make a joke to everybody around and

1111
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:50,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, all right, y'all gonna see me at one

1112
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,640
Speaker 2: of these little clubs. I'm gonna be stripping. I'm gonna

1113
01:01:52,640 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 2: be at one of these little gospel I'm the stuper

1114
01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 2: gospel music.

1115
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:00,760
Speaker 1: You think that this gossiping has gone too far? They

1116
01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:01,320
Speaker 1: got to.

1117
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:13,280
Speaker 2: I guess my name is you ready? Ready? Not ready?

1118
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 2: What striper name is? Little cheeks?

1119
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:30,600
Speaker 1: These days?

1120
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:42,520
Speaker 2: Eli Elsie, that's a good laugh. That was I ain't laugh.

1121
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:44,560
Speaker 2: That's the ant and lab where you laugh and be

1122
01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:52,880
Speaker 2: saying the word where you laugh. Right, it never happened.

1123
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:56,480
Speaker 2: You don't have to worry. It never happened. Times got hard.

1124
01:02:57,120 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take him up because the Bible says the

1125
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,040
Speaker 2: man that don't take him his fan there's worse than Infidel.

1126
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:09,120
Speaker 2: So I will be somewhere, right, little cheeks, I got

1127
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:15,320
Speaker 2: to eat. I got to eat, right, you kids gotta eat,

1128
01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:16,000
Speaker 2: little cheeks.

1129
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:22,439
Speaker 1: I love it. Is there anything that you're going through

1130
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:24,880
Speaker 1: and growing through in this season of your life.

1131
01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:27,880
Speaker 2: That is so funny how she just tried to move past.

1132
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:30,720
Speaker 2: I love that. Let me let me drink real quick.

1133
01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:40,080
Speaker 2: Hold on m hm oh man. Anything I'm going through

1134
01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:43,680
Speaker 2: growing through, I think you know, has been up for

1135
01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:47,000
Speaker 2: public display over the last six months, and you know

1136
01:03:47,160 --> 01:03:51,880
Speaker 2: it is it. It is a real mountain that I'm

1137
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:57,640
Speaker 2: that I'm having to climb and that's what I'm going

1138
01:03:57,680 --> 01:04:03,080
Speaker 2: through and it is yet to be seen what the

1139
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:07,040
Speaker 2: growing looks like. Yeah, yeah, And I'm okay with That's

1140
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:11,800
Speaker 2: okay with that. I'm okay because again, this is not

1141
01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:15,720
Speaker 2: a movie. This is not a movie. This is not

1142
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:20,280
Speaker 2: This is not a Christian TBN movie where everybody got

1143
01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:23,400
Speaker 2: to be on the other side shouting and dancing. This

1144
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:28,760
Speaker 2: is real life. Wow. And in real life, Christians die,

1145
01:04:29,040 --> 01:04:33,880
Speaker 2: Christians are murdered, Christians are hopeless, Christians get hungry. There

1146
01:04:33,880 --> 01:04:37,080
Speaker 2: are Christians in China right now that are having church

1147
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:41,160
Speaker 2: underground because they will be killed and sent us to prison.

1148
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:44,000
Speaker 2: That's real life. That ain't pretty.

1149
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:47,480
Speaker 1: That ain't a bowl, it's.

1150
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:50,360
Speaker 2: Not a boat. So I'm okay, I'm okay.

1151
01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that, And we end the

1152
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:59,520
Speaker 1: show with keep it Blank, sweet So how would you

1153
01:04:59,520 --> 01:04:59,920
Speaker 1: feel in.

1154
01:04:59,840 --> 01:05:06,920
Speaker 2: The keep it blank sweety? I would say, keep it close.

1155
01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:07,600
Speaker 1: Mm.

1156
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:12,680
Speaker 2: I like that, keep it close, keep him close, keep

1157
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:16,800
Speaker 2: your heart close, yes, keep your experiences close, keep your

1158
01:05:16,880 --> 01:05:21,760
Speaker 2: friends close, keep yourself close. Wow.

1159
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:26,240
Speaker 1: I love that. Oh that's hard to talk. Okay, I

1160
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:31,000
Speaker 1: would say, hm hmm. We touch on so many good

1161
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:41,000
Speaker 1: things for this one. I think I would say, keep

1162
01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:45,360
Speaker 1: it real, sweetie, keep it real, keep it real. Yeah,

1163
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:48,720
Speaker 1: that's what I did to you. Did you can keep

1164
01:05:48,760 --> 01:05:51,240
Speaker 1: it all the way one thousand with the people, and

1165
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 1: we appreciate it. Thank you so much. I appreciate you.

1166
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:55,200
Speaker 2: Hon need to be here.

1167
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:57,480
Speaker 1: No, it's the honest all mine.

1168
01:05:57,560 --> 01:06:04,280
Speaker 2: Seriously it should boy Kirk aka ELCT Wrap.

1169
01:06:04,040 --> 01:06:06,880
Speaker 1: It up, guys, thank you so much for tuning to

1170
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:09,240
Speaker 1: this episode. Or Keep it Positive, Sweetie. If you want

1171
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:11,400
Speaker 1: to write into our Positive Outcomes listener letter, you can

1172
01:06:11,440 --> 01:06:13,880
Speaker 1: write into keep It Positive Sweetie at gmail dot com

1173
01:06:14,040 --> 01:06:16,320
Speaker 1: and that's Sweetie with an Ie. You can follow kIPS

1174
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:18,760
Speaker 1: on all platforms at keep It Positive Sweete, And you

1175
01:06:18,840 --> 01:06:21,240
Speaker 1: can follow me on all platforms at Love Chris Orinee

1176
01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:24,480
Speaker 1: and that's luv Kirk. Tell the people they can find you.

1177
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:25,880
Speaker 1: Let us know what you have going on so we

1178
01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:29,200
Speaker 1: can support because we want to get behind you.

1179
01:06:29,280 --> 01:06:33,360
Speaker 2: Literally, you want to get behind me. What's up, y'all? Man,

1180
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:36,560
Speaker 2: Thank y'all for supporting the new album, Father Stage, the

1181
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:39,120
Speaker 2: documentary Father State. Thank you for coming to the tour.

1182
01:06:39,840 --> 01:06:43,640
Speaker 2: I'm very very grateful keeping in your prayers as life

1183
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:46,840
Speaker 2: is lifing, but God is good. And so you can

1184
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:51,160
Speaker 2: follow me on Instagram, you can follow me Facebook, follow

1185
01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:58,800
Speaker 2: me on my space Black Planet. Remember, oh those are

1186
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:00,560
Speaker 2: not active no more than now.

1187
01:07:00,680 --> 01:07:03,480
Speaker 1: I think my space might still or is it?

1188
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:06,760
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm still I'm still on the page.

1189
01:07:06,800 --> 01:07:09,680
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Maybe Okay, well maybe that's why I ain't

1190
01:07:09,680 --> 01:07:11,280
Speaker 2: got a lot to follow us.

1191
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:15,480
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Oh man, this is good, This

1192
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:27,160
Speaker 1: is so good. A Lord, thank you so much for

1193
01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:30,280
Speaker 1: this day. Thank you for giving Kirk the time to

1194
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:31,920
Speaker 1: be with us today. We know it's gonna bless so

1195
01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:34,720
Speaker 1: many people. God, I do not take this platform lightly.

1196
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:37,600
Speaker 1: I thank you for giving me this opportunity to spread

1197
01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:40,520
Speaker 1: light and positivity. Bless everyone in this room and hear

1198
01:07:40,520 --> 01:07:42,560
Speaker 1: their prayers. Oh God and Jesus thing I pray. Amen,