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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry letter to STEVEARBFM dot com and click

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Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live

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Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this

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Speaker 1: one right here.

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Speaker 2: Ah, you hear that right now. You never know it

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Speaker 2: could be yours.

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Speaker 3: It could be Buckle up and hold on tight. We

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Speaker 3: got it. Poy you here. It is to.

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Speaker 1: Straw every letter subject. I am emotionally drained. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I'm a forty two year old single mother of a

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Speaker 1: son that is twenty years old. My son's girlfriend just

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Speaker 1: had a baby that is fair skinned, and.

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Speaker 2: They both are chocolate.

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Speaker 1: The girl is twenty one and a dancer at a

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Speaker 1: bar across town. She says she's not a stripper, but

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Speaker 1: that's all she says. My son is afraid to ask

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Speaker 1: the girl for a paternity test, so I did. When

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Speaker 1: my son went to visit the baby, she jumped on

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Speaker 1: him and then called me and said, if I keep

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Speaker 1: putting my son up to this foolishness, I would be next.

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Speaker 1: I called her mother, who happens to go to church

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Speaker 1: with me, and I told her that her daughter is disrespectful.

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Speaker 1: She was not happy about the phone call and asked

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Speaker 1: if we could talk in person, so I invited her over.

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Speaker 1: She pulled up and ran up to my door and

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Speaker 1: yelled for me to come outside. She jumped on me

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Speaker 1: when I got in the front yard. I'm not a fighter,

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Speaker 1: so we rolled around in the yard while I kept

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Speaker 1: begging her to stop pulling my hair. My neighbor broke

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Speaker 1: us up and I ran inside. I called my son

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Speaker 1: and he called his girlfriend on a three way, and

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Speaker 1: she said that I deserved to be beat up. I

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Speaker 1: reported the incident to the police, and they wouldn't come

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Speaker 1: out to do a report because it was between my

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Speaker 1: son and his girlfriend. I just don't want my son

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Speaker 1: to be caught up with a baby that isn't his.

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Speaker 1: I told my son that we'll just get the baby

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Speaker 1: one day and do a paternity test ourselves. Now it's

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Speaker 1: like my son is turning against me and telling me

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Speaker 1: to stay out.

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Speaker 2: Of his business. I got beat up for him, and this.

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Speaker 1: Is that's how he repays me. It's emotionally draining and

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Speaker 1: I only want what's best for him. Now he's planning

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Speaker 1: to move in with this abusive woman and ruin his life.

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Speaker 1: Am I supposed to step aside and let this girl

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Speaker 1: and her mother make a fool out of my son?

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Speaker 2: What can I do to shake some sense into him? Well?

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Speaker 2: I don't know that there's anything.

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Speaker 1: You can do, you know, much more than what you've

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Speaker 1: been doing right now, you know, unless you bring his

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Speaker 1: dad into it or something. But you already said you're

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Speaker 1: a single mother of this son. I know as a

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Speaker 1: mom this is hard and it's going to continue to

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Speaker 1: be hard to watch your son get sucked in like this,

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Speaker 1: But that's exactly what you're going to have to do.

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Speaker 1: Step aside. You've tried everything, You've tried everything else. Nothing

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Speaker 1: has worked for you. So unless you want to get

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Speaker 1: another beat down from his crazy girlfriend and like you say,

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Speaker 1: her and her mother make a fool out of you

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Speaker 1: and all of that, you're going to have to do

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Speaker 1: just what they say.

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Speaker 2: Mind your own business. At this point.

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Speaker 1: I know you love your son and you only want

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Speaker 1: the best for him, that's quite obvious. But right now,

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Speaker 1: the stripper is his world. He's sprung, he's whipped all

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Speaker 1: of the above, and he's trying not to hear anything

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Speaker 1: you his mom have to say. And as much as

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Speaker 1: this hurts, sometimes you just have to let go and

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Speaker 1: let people learn their lessons themselves, because he's not listening

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Speaker 1: right now to you.

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Speaker 2: He's not listening to what you have to say. Experience

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Speaker 2: is always the best teacher.

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Speaker 1: Later on, if he finds out that the baby's not

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Speaker 1: his and he's being played by this girl. I mean,

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Speaker 1: so we don't even know that. I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: he might still want to be with her, you know,

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Speaker 1: that's the other thing. He might still want to be

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Speaker 1: with her and help her raise the child. And yes,

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Speaker 1: you could get the baby and get the paternity test

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Speaker 1: on your own. You could do all of that, but

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Speaker 1: you might lose your son and the process. But you've

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Speaker 1: lost him already to this girl for right now anyway.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I think you've done all you can. And

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Speaker 1: your son didn't even defend you when his girlfriend beat

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Speaker 1: you up, and that's really messed up.

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Speaker 4: See, well, I read a different letter, seems like so.

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Speaker 4: I guess I always see some ignis so so I

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Speaker 4: have a couple of questions. Nah, she's mostly drained. It's

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Speaker 4: a forty two year old single mother's son is twenty

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Speaker 4: Your son's girlfriend just had a baby that's fast.

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Speaker 3: Skinned and they both are chocolate.

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Speaker 4: Now, listen, we all know that, you know, through the

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Speaker 4: chromosomes and all that stuff, that you can skip a

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Speaker 4: generation and look like a grandmother or on or something

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Speaker 4: and different colors. But we got to look into this though,

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Speaker 4: two chocolate people having a light skinned baby.

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Speaker 3: We need to look into this. I understand the girl

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Speaker 3: is twenty.

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Speaker 4: One and huh, you don't add up on I know,

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Speaker 4: we got to look into it. Now. This girl twenty

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Speaker 4: one and a dancer at a bar across town. She

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Speaker 4: says she's not a stripper. Let's discuss this for a minute.

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Speaker 4: If you're a dancer at a bar, I think they

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Speaker 4: stopped go go dancing a long time ago. You know

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Speaker 4: where you be up in a kage on the end

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Speaker 4: of the bar. I think they stopped at a long

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Speaker 4: time ago. So if you're a dancer at a bar

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Speaker 4: in today's society, you gots to take your clothes off,

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Speaker 4: because I ain't.

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Speaker 3: Go go boots.

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Speaker 4: I ain't seen them in stores no more with the

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Speaker 4: mini skirts. So I'm pretty shure you a stripper. My

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Speaker 4: son is afraid to ask this girl for a paternity test.

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Speaker 3: So I did.

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Speaker 4: Then when your son went to visit the baby, she

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Speaker 4: jumped on him and then called me and said, I

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Speaker 4: keep putting my son up to this foolishness. I would

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Speaker 4: be next. Okay, so she jumped on it. Okay, she's abusive.

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Speaker 4: I called her mother and hit a good part. I

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Speaker 4: call his mother, who happened to go to church with me,

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Speaker 4: and I told her that her daughter is disrespectful.

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Speaker 3: Now see, listen to me.

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Speaker 4: This is where I have a question, because it could

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Speaker 4: go two ways. After he called the lady, she called

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Speaker 4: the lady to go to church with her and told

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Speaker 4: her that her.

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Speaker 3: Daughter is disrespectful.

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Speaker 4: She was not happy about the phone call and asked

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Speaker 4: if we can talk in person, so I invited her over.

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Speaker 4: Now I'm thinking right here, she's talking about the girl's mother.

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Speaker 4: That's what I was thinking. That she was talking about

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Speaker 4: the girl's mother. She called on the phone and talked

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Speaker 4: to him person. So when I come back, I'm gonna

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Speaker 4: tell you what I think happened.

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Speaker 1: All right, we'll have part two of Steve's response coming up.

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Speaker 1: Twenty three minutes after Strawberry letter, subject I.

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Speaker 2: Am emotionally drained.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this, you're listening

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Speaker 1: hard morning show. All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap

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Speaker 1: today's strawberry letter. The subject I am in emotionally drained.

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Speaker 4: All right. We got a forty two year old ladies,

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Speaker 4: got a two year old son that's dating a stripper

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Speaker 4: who says she's not a stripper.

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Speaker 3: She's a dancer at a bar.

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Speaker 4: I don't know who keep that clothes on anymore these

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Speaker 4: days while they dancing in bars. But hell, most of

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Speaker 4: the women that go to bars is half neked when

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Speaker 4: they get there, so I already know if you're a dancer,

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Speaker 4: you got to be stripping.

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Speaker 3: Anyway.

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Speaker 4: She says she's not a stripper. The son is afraid

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Speaker 4: to ask. They had a light skinned baby, and both

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Speaker 4: of them child. Your son afraid to ask her the

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Speaker 4: paternity test. So you asked the girl for a paternity test.

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Speaker 4: When your son went over there to pick up the baby,

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Speaker 4: the girl jumped on him and said, couldn't let your

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Speaker 4: mama put stuff like this in your head, And then

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Speaker 4: told the mama, if you keep interfeit in my business,

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Speaker 4: you're gonna be next. So the lady who's forty two

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Speaker 4: called her mother, the stripper's mama who happens to go

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Speaker 4: to church with me, and I told her that her

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Speaker 4: daughter's disrespectful. She was not happy about the phone call

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Speaker 4: and asked if we can.

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Speaker 3: Talk in person, so I invited her over.

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Speaker 4: Now right here, I'm thinking, this is all she's talking

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Speaker 4: to the stripper's mother. She pulled up, ran to my

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Speaker 4: door and yelled for me to come outside. Now if

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Speaker 4: this is not the mother, if this is the stripper,

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Speaker 4: then we're dealing with the people. That person that don't

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Speaker 4: know how to tell stories, because we have some information

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Speaker 4: that's confusing. No, I think see, I'm thinking she's talking

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Speaker 4: about the girl's mother according to this letter so far,

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Speaker 4: but then later on she changes and it makes it

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Speaker 4: sound like it was a little girl that jumped on her.

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Speaker 4: So I'm confused about the lady writing a letter. Anyway,

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Speaker 4: That's all I'm saying. So when she came, she told

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Speaker 4: you to yell and for you to come outside. She

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Speaker 4: jumped on me when I got in the front yard. Now,

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Speaker 4: I'm not a fighter, So we rolled around in the yard. Well,

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Speaker 4: I kept begging her to stop pulling my hair. Now,

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Speaker 4: let me teach you something, ma'am. Begging is not a

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Speaker 4: good fight.

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Speaker 3: Tech me.

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Speaker 4: It usually does not work out for the beg up

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Speaker 4: because it empowers the person that's issuing the ass whipping,

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Speaker 4: so it's best not to empower then with please please

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Speaker 4: stop you kicking me. You whipping my ass too good?

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Speaker 4: This is about this is not what I do. I'm

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Speaker 4: not a fighter. So it makes them go harder because

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Speaker 4: they oh, yeah, I'm knocking their ass out now.

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Speaker 3: So I would just suggest that next time you get

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Speaker 3: in the fight, please do not beg. It don't look good.

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Speaker 3: They ain't dont need a beg and ant take the ass.

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Speaker 1: Whooping one of the other picks one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you get your ass whooping.

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Speaker 4: Stop this begging quietly, not Finn do this to be

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Speaker 4: shame me and bask me, humiliated me and be sittle

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Speaker 4: while you beating my ass. Just make it look like

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Speaker 4: you trying. She got well too, she grabbing yo, heir,

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Speaker 4: you grab her hair. Anyway, my neighbor broke us up

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Speaker 4: and I ran inside. I called my son and he

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Speaker 4: called his girlfriend on the threeway and she said that

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Speaker 4: I deserve to be beat up.

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Speaker 3: See I'm thinking.

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Speaker 4: When she ran in the house and called her son,

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Speaker 4: he called his girlfriend on the three way and she said,

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Speaker 4: I deserve to be beat up, which made me think

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Speaker 4: it was the girl's mama that was in the yard fighting.

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Speaker 3: The whole time.

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Speaker 4: Because we ran in the house and got the girl

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Speaker 4: on the three way, the girl would have been in

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Speaker 4: the yard still fighting the mama.

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Speaker 3: See.

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Speaker 4: So I reported the incident to the police, and they

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Speaker 4: wouldn't come out to do a report because of between

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Speaker 4: my son and his girlfriend. This is another piece of

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Speaker 4: important information. Anytime you call the police and they don't

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Speaker 4: come out to handle a domestic dispute that was a fight,

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Speaker 4: you must live deep, deep deep in the hood, cause

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Speaker 4: police please have to come out to investigate any domestic violence,

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Speaker 4: especially if neighbors involved breaking up fight. So now we

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Speaker 4: already know the police ain't coming. That's a hood, thank

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Speaker 4: you very much. And then she says, and they wouldn't

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Speaker 4: come out because between my son and his girlfriend. I

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Speaker 4: just don't want son to be caught up with a

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Speaker 4: baby that isn't his. I understand that. I told my

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Speaker 4: son would just get the baby one day and do

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Speaker 4: the paternity test ourselves. Now it's like my son is

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Speaker 4: turning against me and telling me to stay out of

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Speaker 4: his business.

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Speaker 3: Well you should.

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Speaker 4: I got beat up for him, and this is how

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Speaker 4: he repays me. No, you got beat up because you

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Speaker 4: went out the house. See when people call you out,

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Speaker 4: you said you're not a fighter. See when people drive

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Speaker 4: up to your house and say come outside, come out here, No, no,

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Speaker 4: meet me in the front them. It is fighting words.

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Speaker 4: Why did you take your non fighting ass out there?

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Speaker 2: She would never think that the girl would jump on her.

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Speaker 4: Seat, YU with girl, Mama, that go to her her

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Speaker 4: swooped her ask Shirley stops.

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Speaker 3: Saying the girl. That's what I got.

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Speaker 4: Now he's planning to move in with this abusive woman

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Speaker 4: and ruin his life. Am I supposed to step aside

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Speaker 4: and let this girl and her mother make a fool

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Speaker 4: out of myself?

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Speaker 3: What can I do to shake something?

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Speaker 1: All? Right?

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Speaker 4: First of all, to me explain some t This is

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Speaker 4: not going to ruin your son's life. This is a

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Speaker 4: lesson that both of you. You're gonna have to let

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Speaker 4: him learn. Like Shirley said, the best lesson is a

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Speaker 4: bolt lesson. You're gonna let him have to buy this way,

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Speaker 4: Let him go move in with the girl. You be

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Speaker 4: a loving grandmother. When the baby come over, swab the

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Speaker 4: baby mouth. Put the swab in a plastic bag and

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Speaker 4: get a damn DNA test.

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Speaker 3: Then when the result come back, don't say nothing to

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Speaker 3: your son. Just leave.

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Speaker 4: Get copies of it and post it on Facebook. Let

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Speaker 4: the church say man man, thank you for.

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Speaker 2: Those your comments.

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Speaker 1: Thank you Steve on Today's Strawberry Letter Steve BRBFM on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to The Harvey Morning Show.