1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:05,240 Speaker 1: Welcome to Wellness on MASS. I'm doctor Nicole Sapphire and 2 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 1: today's show is a great one because we are in 3 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: the thick of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, 4 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,200 Speaker 1: which can be a wonderful time for many. It is 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:17,440 Speaker 1: a time for joy and family and togetherness and celebrations 6 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: and rooting ourselves in our faith or whatever it is 7 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,799 Speaker 1: that we believe in. But the holiday season can be tough. 8 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 1: It can be tough on a lot of people, some 9 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,640 Speaker 1: people who are dealing with loneliness. It can be stressful 10 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: for kids, it can be stressful for adults, and it's 11 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,559 Speaker 1: really important that we take the time to acknowledge what 12 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 1: we're all dealing with. And I am very excited that 13 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: we have author Holly Swenson. She has a new book 14 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:43,160 Speaker 1: called Stop, Drop, Grow and Glow, forming deeper and more 15 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,599 Speaker 1: joyful connections with yourself and your children. She's also a 16 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,240 Speaker 1: registered nurse and a mother of four, so she obviously 17 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:51,959 Speaker 1: knows a little bit what she's talking about and I'm 18 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: very excited to have her on today. Thanks for joining 19 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 1: Wellness on Masshi, Nicole, thank you for having me. Absolutely 20 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 1: so I have been talking about, you know, mental health 21 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: obviously mental health crisis that we find ourselves in this country, 22 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,119 Speaker 1: not only just kids, but adults too. This isn't new news. 23 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 1: In fact, we've been talking about this for the last 24 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:14,119 Speaker 1: five to ten years. It's only just rapidly gotten worse 25 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: throughout COVID. But I'm always so cautious to talk about it, 26 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,840 Speaker 1: even more as we enter the holiday seasons because, as 27 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: you know, the holidays it can be a warm, wonderful 28 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 1: time for people, but it can also be tough for others. 29 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,200 Speaker 1: Talk to us a little bit about it. Yeah, you're 30 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:30,680 Speaker 1: so right. 31 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,959 Speaker 2: I mean, the holidays are a joyful time for many, 32 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 2: but it's important to point out this time of year 33 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,040 Speaker 2: isn't joyful for all children. 34 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:38,399 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, as much. 35 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 2: As we would like it to be, there are a 36 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,959 Speaker 2: lot of realities in today's world that unfortunately our children 37 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 2: are living with. There's a lot of anxiety, a lot 38 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 2: of depression, and children are incredibly sensitive and so if 39 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 2: there are things going on at home in the. 40 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: School socially, it can really play. 41 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 2: Out and not a good way for our children. And 42 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 2: so I think just having awareness, having conversation about this, 43 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 2: bringing this to the our front for our adults, our parents, 44 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 2: it's really important so that they can keep a pulse 45 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 2: on what's going on with their children, especially this time 46 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 2: of year. 47 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: So for you know, talking to parents, because a lot 48 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,399 Speaker 1: of parents they always like to say, my kid's doing 49 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,360 Speaker 1: just fine. You know, not everyone is as in tune. 50 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: Especially as we have a rise in digital media social media, 51 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,400 Speaker 1: kids are spending more time there and less face to 52 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,640 Speaker 1: face time with their peers, teachers, and even their parents. 53 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 1: So what are some warning signs for parents to be 54 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: checking in on their kids to make sure that they're 55 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 1: doing okay right? 56 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 2: Well, you know, I think what you want to watch 57 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 2: watch out for. Well, first of all, it's really important 58 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 2: to note that children often act out versus verbalize their feelings, 59 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 2: so you might you know, you might also see regression 60 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,519 Speaker 2: in some of our younger children, So milestones that they've hit, 61 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,360 Speaker 2: they might be reverting back to things that they had 62 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 2: already previously mastered, so they can become more clingy, more dependent, 63 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,360 Speaker 2: and you know, and I think it's also important to 64 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,920 Speaker 2: just look out for things like changes and appetite or sleep. 65 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 2: They might be oversleeping, trouble sleeping. They might be suffering 66 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 2: from headaches or stomachaches. They might even be having increased 67 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,799 Speaker 2: irritability or mood swings. So those are some basics to 68 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 2: really keep an eye out for, you know. And I 69 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 2: think it's also important to really try to have good 70 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 2: you know, I think good making time to really have 71 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 2: that person in person contact with your children. So a 72 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 2: lot of children are also really dependent on their screens 73 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,400 Speaker 2: and making time to you know, have family games. Making 74 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 2: sure you're really connecting meal times, that sort of thing 75 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 2: is going to also help to buffer any of this 76 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 2: going on this time of year. 77 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting you mentioned meal times because I was 78 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: you know, I've been talking a lot about social media 79 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 1: use and kids, and one of the things that we're 80 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 1: starting to see is there's a push for a ban 81 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 1: on kids, or to restrict it to certain ages. Australia 82 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: is getting ready to do a ban. I think it's 83 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: for age sixteen. For me, I think that's a great 84 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: idea to be restricting kids from social media. I think 85 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: kids are going to be kids. I mean, my kids 86 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: know more about VPNs than I do. They want to 87 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: get on social media. They're going to get on social media. 88 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 1: And so while I do think there is a role 89 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: for government in terms of strict age verification, making sure 90 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: that big Tech's being held liable for some of their 91 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 1: malicious targeting campaigns of kids. I also think a lot 92 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,160 Speaker 1: of it comes from the home as well. Parents are 93 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,799 Speaker 1: the best examples for their kids. Parents are on social 94 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: media and on their phones just as much, maybe even 95 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: more than their kids are. So if they're exhibiting that behavior, 96 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 1: the kids are going to as well. The phone should 97 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: not be out at the dinner table. I personally don't 98 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,800 Speaker 1: think phones should be going upstairs with kids, and I 99 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: don't know why people put pads and phones in their kids' 100 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,840 Speaker 1: hands in the car. All of this really just does 101 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:43,040 Speaker 1: away from that social interaction and these important times when 102 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 1: you're supposed to be talking and checking in with your kids. 103 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 2: You're so right, and you know, we have four children 104 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,640 Speaker 2: on our own, so you know, I'm walking this path 105 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 2: with everyone else out there who's raising children. And because 106 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 2: those are two areas that were really strict on in 107 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 2: our house to have no phones at the dinner table 108 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 2: and no phones in the bedroom, and I think that's 109 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 2: a great place to start. It is doing damage to 110 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 2: our children, and that is also a big part of 111 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 2: why we're seeing an uptick in anxiety and depression and 112 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 2: the other thing. I think that's important here to mention 113 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 2: for our families who live in colder that you may 114 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 2: watch out for. So, yes, the social peace, but also 115 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,159 Speaker 2: the reality with the weather, the seasonal effective disorders. 116 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,359 Speaker 1: I don't know. Yes, I love this. You won't stop 117 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: that and say I love thing you're talking about this, 118 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:26,159 Speaker 1: Keep going. 119 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 2: Well, I live in Montana and so we live with 120 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:33,039 Speaker 2: this if we have cold, dark days, I mean we're 121 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 2: the sun is starting to set around four thirty here, 122 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 2: and so for any of our families living in colder climates, 123 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 2: also just keep this in your periphery because like for 124 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 2: our family, we end up giving our boys vitamin D 125 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 2: to help buffer because a lot of people are low 126 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 2: with invitamin D and this can impact the way you're feeling. 127 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,840 Speaker 2: So I also want to just plant that seed for 128 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 2: any families who are living in colder, darker places this 129 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 2: time of year. 130 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, and full disclosure, you're registered nurse, so you're obviously 131 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,720 Speaker 1: well and tuned on this. I'm a medical doctor. I 132 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 1: think we could talk about this, you know, until we're 133 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,359 Speaker 1: blue in the face. But seasonal effective disorder, it is 134 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 1: absolutely real, and it is physiologic and it's not just 135 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:13,120 Speaker 1: in your head. There's physiological changes that happened from more 136 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 1: decreased exposure to the sun, specifically our lack of vitamin D. 137 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 1: Here in my household where the exact same way. We 138 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 1: try to get that natural sunlight as much as possible. 139 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: I literally make my kids go out in the cold 140 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 1: when the sun is out, roll up their sleeves, just 141 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 1: that fifteen minutes of sun on the skin being absorbed 142 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 1: is important. Taking the supplements great things. We actually always 143 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: plan a suddy vacation in January, just knowing that that's 144 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: like the epicenter of the darkness for us, because I 145 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: know that my family needs that desperately. So I think 146 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: keeping that in mind is really important. It's great that 147 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:50,480 Speaker 1: you brought that up. 148 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 2: More. 149 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 1: Coming up on Wellness Unmasked with doctor Nicole Sapphire. You 150 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: wrote a book. Tell me about your book. 151 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, So, I wrote a book called Stop, Drop, Grow, 152 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 2: and Glow. And this book is really rooted in conscious parenting, 153 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 2: so helping people to wake up more fully in their lives. 154 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 2: I think for so many parents, especially, they carry stuff 155 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 2: with them when they step into parenthood that maybe they 156 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 2: haven't processed, and it's really keeping them from living in 157 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 2: the present with their children, or it's impacting the relationships. 158 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 2: And so I wanted to create something that would help 159 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 2: people awaken more fully, really cultivate more self awareness of 160 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 2: how they're showing up, how their actions are impacting their children, 161 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 2: even their significant other. And so my book really builds 162 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 2: on itself. And so it's you know, stop, drop and glow. 163 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 2: It's the framework is where the magic happens. And so 164 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 2: it's it asks you to go deeper, I think than 165 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 2: a lot of parenting books and look at you know, 166 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 2: really hold that mirror up to yourself and see how 167 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 2: you're doing, how you're feeling. I think it's important to 168 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 2: nurture the individual, but also to take care of the parents. 169 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 2: So I think those those two parts of who you 170 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 2: are as a mother or father need to be tended 171 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 2: to separately. Another big part of my book is self 172 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 2: care that I really you know, for me, being a 173 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 2: mother of four, I have found partnering with self care 174 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 2: on a daily basis is really a necessity. It's not 175 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 2: a luxury. So that's something I really drive hard, drive 176 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 2: home hard in my book as well, but it really 177 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 2: is it's a ground up. It's also asking people to release, 178 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 2: any drama, trauma, any personal pass lived experiences that are 179 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 2: keeping them from living in the now and leaning on 180 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 2: habits that are really going to help them expand transform 181 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 2: in their lives. So things like mindfulness, diet, exercise, promoting 182 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 2: really healthy sleep, high giene so that you know you 183 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,959 Speaker 2: can function. If you're not sleeping, you're not going to 184 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 2: feel good. And also thanking your children for all they've 185 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,560 Speaker 2: taught you. As much as we teach our children, our 186 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 2: children are teaching us just as much, if not more, 187 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:40,960 Speaker 2: every single day. 188 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,959 Speaker 1: You know, I think it's so important that you talk 189 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 1: about self care. You know, I kind of say to myself, 190 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: but I also say to my patients that you're no 191 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 1: good for anyone else if you're not taking care of yourself. So, 192 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,319 Speaker 1: as mothers, we intrinsically want to take care of everyone. 193 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,440 Speaker 1: But if we're not focusing and really carving out that 194 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:00,319 Speaker 1: time for ourselves, then we're running ourselves dry and we're 195 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: not going to be able to be there for other people. 196 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: So self care is not vanity, it's not being selfish, 197 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: it's taking care of ourselves is actually taking care of 198 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: those around us. You just have to change that mindset 199 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: a little bit. 200 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 2: Absolutely and it's not easy to do because I think 201 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 2: a lot of us grew up with that programming that 202 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 2: it is a selfish act. And what I've found is 203 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 2: when I don't take care of myself, I'm not as 204 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,720 Speaker 2: effective at taking care of my family, my children, even 205 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,959 Speaker 2: the work I do. But when I make time every day, 206 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 2: even if it's five minutes, even if you don't have 207 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 2: a lot of extra time learning to get quiet learning 208 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 2: how you know. Like for me, one of the things 209 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 2: that I've really partnered with is doing meditation and prayer 210 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 2: every morning before my family gets up, and that has 211 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:41,520 Speaker 2: been tremendously beneficial because when I receive my children, I 212 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:45,840 Speaker 2: am operating from a grounded, more mindful, more loving space 213 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 2: and it sets the tone for my day. So it 214 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 2: can be, you know, show up differently for each each person, 215 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,239 Speaker 2: but for me, it's been very beneficial. 216 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 1: You know, in the morning is when I do my workout. 217 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: One because I'm terrible at working out in the evening 218 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,560 Speaker 1: because I really crash towards the evening and I'm an 219 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 1: early person. But it's the same thing. I get my 220 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 1: work out done, I feel accomplished, my blood is flowing, 221 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: my endorphins are going I'm setting the precedent for the day, 222 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 1: and when I get to my children, I am already 223 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: feeling good for the day. And it's not just like 224 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: dragging myself out of bed and saying, okay, kids, now 225 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: when we've got breakfast and get our bags ready and everything, 226 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 1: just to get everyone out the door. I think it's 227 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 1: really important for parents to take that time in the 228 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,840 Speaker 1: morning to kind of set the tone for their day 229 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 1: before they enter the beautiful chaos that is the life 230 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 1: of motherhood. Absolutely heading into the holidays, you know, we're 231 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 1: a couple weeks away, what are some tips for parents, 232 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:40,080 Speaker 1: like what concrete steps, what can they be doing right 233 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,440 Speaker 1: now to check in with themselves, checking in with their 234 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,400 Speaker 1: kids a little bit more and getting through this crazy 235 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: time beer. 236 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think a great place to start is 237 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 2: really just doing like a body scan of like how 238 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 2: are you doing? You know, and you might even feel 239 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,280 Speaker 2: like physical tightness in your body somewhere, but you know, 240 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 2: maybe you get headaches. Maybe you start to start noticing 241 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 2: what your body is telling you and start connecting that 242 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 2: mind with the heart center that's going to help tremendously 243 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 2: start noticing in your own body what you need and 244 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 2: you know, if you're if you're somebody that doesn't give 245 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 2: much to yourself, maybe invite a little bit of that, 246 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 2: you know, as much as you're giving to other people. 247 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,560 Speaker 2: Start penciling yourself in maybe twenty minutes a day just 248 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,320 Speaker 2: to start feeling a shift in your life. So you 249 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 2: can start small. But what you're going to find is 250 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 2: the more you start noticing, the more you start showing 251 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,400 Speaker 2: up for yourself, the better you're going to feel, the 252 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 2: better able you're going to be able to care for 253 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 2: those around you, and for your children, I think, really 254 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,200 Speaker 2: notice how they're doing. I mean, this time of year 255 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,439 Speaker 2: is joyful, but it can also be stressful. A lot 256 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 2: of child's children are over stimulated, over sugared, and so 257 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,199 Speaker 2: notice when your kids need some quiet. 258 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:44,960 Speaker 1: You know, you can go, go, go, you can do 259 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 1: the events, you can. 260 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 2: Do the holiday parties, but also make time every day 261 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,719 Speaker 2: to get quiet with your children and maybe help them 262 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 2: unwind in a way that's not stimulated. So making time, 263 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 2: you know, maybe it's the end of the day where 264 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 2: you curl up with a book, or you make a 265 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 2: cup of camel meal tea or you you know, you 266 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 2: know you have a quiet space in your home where 267 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 2: they can just like unplug and unwind. 268 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:08,959 Speaker 1: So I think just getting more aware of what you need. 269 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,960 Speaker 2: And noticing what your children might need, because children don't 270 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,200 Speaker 2: always even know what it is they need, but you, 271 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 2: as a parent might be able to see that, hey, 272 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 2: they need they need a little bit of a breather, 273 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,679 Speaker 2: and I'm going to help them find that calm if 274 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 2: that's what's needed. 275 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 1: I think that's so important, finding those moments of calm, 276 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 1: especially with the hustle and bustle of the holidays. We 277 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,640 Speaker 1: as a family, we've been trying to do board games 278 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: on the nights where we don't really have anything. TVs 279 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 1: are off, phones are away playing some board games. You know, 280 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: sometimes my kids will tell me I'm bored, why can't 281 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: I do Why can't I watch a movie? And I'm like, 282 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,200 Speaker 1: it is not my role to entertain you. You have 283 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,679 Speaker 1: a lot of things you could find in this house 284 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 1: you can do, or you can just lay there and contemplate. Like, 285 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,560 Speaker 1: kids are never too lot to just sit and meditate 286 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 1: and think, so as parents, it is not our role 287 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 1: in life to entertain them. We don't have to fill 288 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 1: each moment of their schedule. But if you're not going 289 00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:01,839 Speaker 1: to have them doing activities like any extracurricular You can't 290 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 1: just then give them a digital device to fill that space. 291 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 1: Let them be in that space. I think that's so 292 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 1: important for these younger generations. 293 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 2: Boredom is where creativity stems, and we really have lost 294 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 2: connection with that. So I am totally on board with 295 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,960 Speaker 2: what you're saying. I think boredom is really an underutilized 296 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 2: practice to partner with. And I will also share last 297 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 2: night we pulled out cards and we played cards for 298 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 2: half an hour. We were giggling as a family. And 299 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,559 Speaker 2: it doesn't take much but just making time whether it's 300 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 2: a board game, card game, even you know, throwing the 301 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 2: ball with your kid. It doesn't take much, but making 302 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,680 Speaker 2: time every day to go there with them. It's so 303 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 2: meaningful and it's going to help them find more presence 304 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 2: in their life. 305 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: Well, Holly, thank you so much. I think this will 306 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 1: benefit a lot of people. Where can people find your book? 307 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,720 Speaker 2: Yes, you can find my book on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, 308 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 2: anywhere you buy your books. It's also available on Audible 309 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 2: and anywhere you buy your audiobooks. 310 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,160 Speaker 1: I love it. Thanks so much for joining Wellness in 311 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 1: mass Thank you very much. This was a great conversation 312 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 1: with Holly. I think we all know that we're in 313 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,599 Speaker 1: the midst of a mental health crisis here in the 314 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: United States. It started over a decade ago, it only 315 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 1: got worse throughout COVID parents. We have to stop blaming 316 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:10,920 Speaker 1: everyone around us for what's going on with their kids. Yes, COVID, yes, 317 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,560 Speaker 1: the schools, yes, digital content, social media, all of it, 318 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,719 Speaker 1: but it all really comes down to what's happening in 319 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: the home. Be an example for your kids. Make sure 320 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 1: you're checking in with them. They're only young once. Prioritize 321 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: your time with them, that face to face interaction. It's 322 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 1: the best thing you can do. And by the way, 323 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: just like we are saying, take care of yourself, because 324 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: if you're not taking care of yourself, you're not going 325 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 1: to be good for anyone else around you. That's it 326 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 1: for today. I'm doctor Nicole Staffire. Thanks for listening to 327 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 1: Wellness and Mass on iHeartRadio. You can also find us 328 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 1: on Have a Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts, 329 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 1: and we'll see you next time.