1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray. 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to stump Mom never told you? 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:17,479 Speaker 1: From House top works dot com. Hello, and welcome to 4 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:20,760 Speaker 1: the podcast. This is Molly and I'm Kristin Kristen Uh. 5 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 1: One of the articles I wrote in my first year 6 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 1: as a writer at HAUSA works dot com was a 7 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: little article about whether, um, double dipping a chip uh 8 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 1: brought more disease into your body because you were somehow, 9 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 1: you know, putting your germs into the salsa or the guacamole, 10 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: whatever the dip happened to be, and then um, you know, 11 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,160 Speaker 1: and taking another bite after someone else a double dip 12 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,879 Speaker 1: the chip. Yes, such a party faux pa it is. 13 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 1: And you know, the first time I really thought about 14 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,839 Speaker 1: it as a party foul pap was when I saw 15 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 1: the episode of Seinfeld in which that very faux pau 16 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: was sort of magnified, as all faux pas are magnified 17 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:01,440 Speaker 1: on that show. In large awkward hands. I didn't have 18 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: to worry about the large awkward hands yet the man 19 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: hand it hands. But I do remember that episode very 20 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: distinctly where George goes off on someone who has double 21 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: dip the chip. And you know that was what was 22 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 1: so funny scop going you double dip the chip, You 23 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: double dip the chip. And what I found when I 24 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,119 Speaker 1: wrote the article is there was some truth to his phobias. 25 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: You do get You do get a quite a percentage 26 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,040 Speaker 1: of germs if you if you double dip chips to 27 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: be aware at your next party science according to Seinfeld, 28 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: and my attention, that's our topic for today because another 29 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 1: notable Seinfeld episode, also involving George is all the best 30 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:37,400 Speaker 1: episodes do um is the question of whether celibacy makes 31 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 1: you smarter. Yeah, there's an episode of Seinfeld. A lot 32 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 1: of you all out there have probably seen it where 33 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: the gang has a contest to see who can remain 34 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: celibate the longest, and it has very different results for 35 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: the different characters. For George, it just turns him into 36 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: this like superhuman essentially. Yeah, he just walks down the 37 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: street and throws off like physics formulas. He didn't even 38 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: realize he knew. Suddenly he's brilliant. And for a Lane, 39 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: it's horrible. She can't do it. Sheet becomes just a 40 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:13,640 Speaker 1: ruling mess who cannot function in society. So we wanted 41 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:17,080 Speaker 1: to ask her. Some said find out the science behind Seinfeld, right, 42 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: because Molly, you and I have been talking a lot 43 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: about doing it on mom stuff lately, so I think 44 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,919 Speaker 1: you've we've been talking about is she's related to sex? Yes? Yeah, 45 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: we decided to see what would what would happen if 46 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: we talked about the opposite. Yeah, sex. Yeah, We're always like, 47 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:37,079 Speaker 1: what about economs and penis sizes and birth control? Hey, 48 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: why don't we just do away with all of that? 49 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,639 Speaker 1: All right, let's simplify things and just talk about celibacy. 50 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 1: And you know, the word celibacy technically means unmarried. It 51 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:48,919 Speaker 1: just means a bachelor, but in our current vernacular it's 52 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,080 Speaker 1: um equivalent with not having sex. Yeah, And of course 53 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,519 Speaker 1: a lot of times when we talk about celibacy, first 54 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:58,279 Speaker 1: thing that pops into our heads is probably the priesthood 55 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,080 Speaker 1: Catholic Church. Yes, there's a lot of new there's a 56 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 1: lot of discussion lately about if we abolished delibacy in 57 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: the priesthood, would there be fewer cases of molestation? Is 58 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 1: you know, the repression of sexual desires in priests leading 59 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 1: to these awful crimes against children, And you know that's 60 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: that's the topic for another another episode. We're gonna leave. 61 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: We're gonna leave the whole priesthood and celibacy kind of 62 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: out of this conversation. But the important reason to bring 63 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: it up is because there has always been this association 64 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: between abstaining from sex and the divine and that's one 65 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 1: reason why people may choose not to have sex today, 66 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: is because they feel there are religious reasons not to 67 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: do it, moral reasons. But um, you know what, the 68 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 1: idea of selbacy and priests didn't originally start because they 69 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 1: wanted the priest to be, you know, so very pure 70 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 1: as they served the church. It was actually to keep 71 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 1: the priest from giving away church lands to their wives 72 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: and children when they died. So it's sort of something 73 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: that's evolved over over the age. But there you know, 74 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 1: from from the time there were the earl as martyrs 75 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: in the Christian Church, many of them would abstain from sex, 76 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: but they'd abstain from food, they'd abstain from beverage because 77 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: they were trying to be the purest possible vessel for 78 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: a communion and divine with with their God. And while 79 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: there have always been these religious undertones linked to celibacy today, 80 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: there's been a media trend of the new celibacy, if 81 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: you will, this idea of people reclaiming their virginity, of 82 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 1: being very open about abstaining from sex on purpose, you know, 83 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: to try to better themselves, not necessarily for religious purposes. 84 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: For instance, there was um a story that we found 85 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,120 Speaker 1: on CNN that came out not too long ago about 86 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: how supposedly more college students, and especially female college students, 87 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: are choosing to abstain from the hook up culture that 88 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:55,039 Speaker 1: has uh kind of permeated the college dating world, you know, 89 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,160 Speaker 1: in which two people are just you know, they go 90 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: out and they get drunk, and they the benefits, friends 91 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:05,280 Speaker 1: with benefits or strangers with benefits and sometimes not benefits 92 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 1: or coin of episode. But at the same time, in 93 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,719 Speaker 1: a lot of these and a lot of these studies, 94 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:15,719 Speaker 1: especially the ones dealing with celibacy among younger people, they'll 95 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:19,040 Speaker 1: throw out these studies to kind of support the idea 96 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,919 Speaker 1: saying that, well, you know, psychologically hooking up is is 97 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,720 Speaker 1: bad for women in particular, so you know, it kind 98 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: of seems like it is advertising celibacy as a positive 99 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: thing for your for your mind and body. Well, I 100 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: feel like those Trent pieces really emphasize the emotional aspect that, 101 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,920 Speaker 1: like you said, Christen, the studies have indicated that women 102 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: get hurt psychologically from um, not having these long traditional romances. 103 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: So um, it's celibacy or this new celibacy is kind 104 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,720 Speaker 1: of painted as a reaction to that hookup culture where 105 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: women can confine sort of the emotional benefits of sex 106 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: when they choose to have it. But what most of 107 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 1: the pieces seem to emphasize is that these are people 108 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:04,360 Speaker 1: who have had sex and are now abstaining from it. 109 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,719 Speaker 1: It's not abstaining all the way until you're married and 110 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 1: then having sex. It's you know, they have seen they've 111 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 1: seen the other side and decided that they're going to 112 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 1: come back to this thing. And it was interesting just 113 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 1: to read about all these emotional benefits because no one 114 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: is bringing up the Costanza argument that it might make 115 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 1: you smarter or dumber and uh well, and and perhaps 116 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 1: the reason for that is because you know, with the 117 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 1: just to kind of use the the Seinfeld example, you know, 118 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 1: focusing on George as a guy choosing to remain celibate. 119 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,599 Speaker 1: A lot of the stories that we hear about today. 120 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: The reason why we're saying, you know, they're there are 121 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: all these studies, um, proclaiming emotional benefits for women who 122 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,719 Speaker 1: choose to not hook up, even though those results are 123 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: actually mixed when you look at the entire body of research. UM. 124 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 1: But I think Molly, Um, you'd agree that a lot 125 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 1: of uh, the celibacy angle and a lot of this 126 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,360 Speaker 1: question of you know, whether or not you should or 127 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 1: shouldn't have sex focus is specific fickly on women in 128 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,840 Speaker 1: this emotional aspect. It kind of just assumes that guys 129 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,359 Speaker 1: are by nature sexual and they need to go out 130 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 1: and you know, kind of procreate, spread their seed, and 131 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 1: it's just part of who they are as as human animals. 132 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: But for women, you know, if it's it's a lot 133 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: more complicated, which I kind of take a little bit 134 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: of issue. Well, that's the problem. I think we'll probably 135 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 1: circle back to this many times during the podcast. But 136 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 1: there's always gonna be a problem when you link women 137 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 1: in sex because if you think of like sex in 138 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,880 Speaker 1: the city and the backlash from that people get mad 139 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: and women have too much sex, and now the fact 140 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: that a woman not having sex as news you I mean, 141 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 1: you can't win. You cannot be a woman in win 142 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 1: in terms of whether you are having sex or not 143 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: having it. Um. But I think that I was reading 144 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: one New York Times trend piece about this phenomenon of 145 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 1: women abstaining and joining purity groups that are popping up 146 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: all over college campuses, and they aren't linked with any 147 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: sort of religious background, because, like we said, that's always 148 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 1: going to be a reason. But these people are deliberately 149 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,880 Speaker 1: trying to find benefits that aren't linked to religious arguments 150 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: for doing this. And the woman in this one particular 151 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 1: New York Times piece try to paint her stance as 152 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:15,560 Speaker 1: a celibate as sort of a different kind of feminism, 153 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,280 Speaker 1: because when you think about second way feminism in the 154 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 1: way that it sort of said, you know, women own 155 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 1: their bodies, Women can have sex with their bodies the 156 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 1: way men have sex with their bodies, and there should 157 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: be no shame in that. She said that that's exactly 158 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 1: what she's doing. In the opposite way, by choosing not 159 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,360 Speaker 1: to have sex is just as valid choice. It doesn't 160 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 1: need that same amount of judgment. Um. But you know, 161 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 1: it's still a judgment because it ends up in the 162 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,959 Speaker 1: paper and people are shocked by it. And the thing 163 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: is it's actually statistically not um that crazy of a 164 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 1: notion to be celibate. According to the National Center for 165 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: Health Statistics, eleven percent of never married adults UM choose 166 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 1: to abstain from sexual intercourse, and that that statistics would 167 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 1: indicate to me that that doesn't include people who just 168 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 1: haven't lost their virginity for whatever reason, because that's kind 169 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 1: of another issue that will bring up, um, you know, 170 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: this idea of celibacy by choice and forced celibacy when 171 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 1: you just you just can't get any But let's go 172 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 1: to celibacy as a choice, because I think that if 173 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 1: we look at sort of a cultural history of celibacy, 174 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 1: we might be able to find, um, some reason behind that. 175 00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 1: Woman in the New York Times piece I mentioned saying 176 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: that celibacy is a form of feminism because there's this 177 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: great book called The History of Celibacy by Elizabeth Abbott, 178 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 1: And to me, this really kind of put into perspective 179 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: how celibacy has always been a form of power for 180 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,480 Speaker 1: men and in this day and age, the George G. 181 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 1: Stanzas of the world, he gets smarter, he gets better, 182 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 1: and how uh celibacy has power for woman has never 183 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 1: been emphasized, which I think is how they were allowed 184 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: to paint a lay and is like this sniveling dummy 185 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 1: when she didn't didn't get any and um. And the 186 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 1: fascinating thing about the history of celibacy is just how 187 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 1: far back in history people have been so concerned over 188 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,560 Speaker 1: the issue, not so much of having sex, you know, 189 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 1: because they understand that you've got to do it to procrate. 190 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 1: It's just kind of a natural byproduct of being a human. 191 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,319 Speaker 1: It's one of our biological urges. But it's more resisting 192 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 1: that urge and the effects of that and what might 193 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 1: happen to you that has kind of plagued mankind, humankind 194 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: for a long time. This big, this big question of celibacy, right, 195 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: And of course there were the religious overtones. Um. In 196 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:42,440 Speaker 1: the Bible, the fellow on in Onnan stills his seed 197 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,560 Speaker 1: and it's considered this great crime. So there's always been 198 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 1: you know that people think that that's where the priesthood 199 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 1: celibacy stuff comes from. The ownan spilled his seed and 200 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: now these men must carry their seed. Um. In Hinduism, 201 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:57,679 Speaker 1: there's also this emphasis on conserving semen and not letting 202 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,680 Speaker 1: not letting it go to waste with sex. Um And 203 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 1: of course we mentioned the martyrs who were always trying 204 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 1: to find this divine communion with God. But if you, 205 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: if you, we we separate the the the religious aspects 206 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,199 Speaker 1: for a moment and look at the earlier medical thinkers. 207 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 1: The big daddy of the mal hippocrates hypocrisies. He considered 208 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: sperm and semen to be um one of the main 209 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 1: humors of the body, and to have one of your 210 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: humors out of balance was the whole reason that people 211 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 1: got sick in the first place. So he thought selbiacy 212 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 1: for men was a great thing because it was helping 213 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:38,560 Speaker 1: them keep all their bodily fluids and balance. It was 214 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: balancing your blood with your semen and your the water 215 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: in your body, and it just it was. It was 216 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,280 Speaker 1: something that was very tricky. And so this really had 217 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:49,679 Speaker 1: interesting repercussions for women because you know, according to Abbott, 218 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 1: every time a woman came to see Hippocrates feeling sick 219 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:56,080 Speaker 1: or depressed or whatever, he diagnosed her with wandering womb. 220 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,120 Speaker 1: And apparently, if she did not have enough semen in 221 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:04,559 Speaker 1: her body to weigh down the womb and hydrated, it 222 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 1: would start to wander throughout her body, causing all sorts 223 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,440 Speaker 1: of damage. So whenever a woman came that the book 224 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:14,440 Speaker 1: said that was his main examination of woman's to see 225 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: if her womb was wandering. But it's but it's interesting 226 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,960 Speaker 1: too because Hippocrates wouldn't say, you know, go and um 227 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: have intercourse with with one man gets your your your 228 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 1: humors balanced, because if she were to only have sex 229 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,320 Speaker 1: with one guy, that would deplete his humor and throw 230 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: his his humor levels out of whack too. So essentially, 231 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 1: Hippocrates prescribed promiscuity to women, you know, to to make 232 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: sure that their their wombs were wandering all over the 233 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 1: place causing all sorts of trouble. The women needed to 234 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: be uh needed to have sex and uh and have children. 235 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 1: But he could never reconcile with the fact that celibacy 236 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:55,320 Speaker 1: for men was good of us. You know, don't don't 237 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 1: take too much from one guy because he needs it. 238 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,920 Speaker 1: You know you need it too, but but please don't 239 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:05,079 Speaker 1: deplete the men. Now, hippocrates successor is a guy named Galen, 240 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,679 Speaker 1: and he thinks that too much sperm can make you unhealthy, 241 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 1: too little can make you unhealthy, So he kind of 242 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: advocates sex the same way a doctor might advocate like 243 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:18,600 Speaker 1: a healthy diet or an exercise plan, just in moderation. 244 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,920 Speaker 1: Do not do not overdo it. If you're gonna eat 245 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 1: that piece of cake, do not eat the whole pie. 246 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,880 Speaker 1: I mean, there's all there's something to be said for that. 247 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 1: Maybe maybe Galen was was onto something he was I 248 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,560 Speaker 1: think that makes sense. But you know, it led to 249 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:36,079 Speaker 1: all these conversations of how much is too much, particularly 250 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,680 Speaker 1: in the middle of the night. Kristen, Oh, yes, well, 251 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: I think you're referring to uh, wet dreams. You know 252 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 1: your body sometimes cannot help but admit uh some semen. 253 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,320 Speaker 1: And this would throw the doctors off because they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, 254 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 1: got to preserve this? How much of this is safe? 255 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 1: And according to the to Elizabeth Abbott, they consulted with 256 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 1: the monks who had decided to live and sell up 257 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:01,360 Speaker 1: see anyway, and and they how much of this is normal? 258 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 1: Like how much of come and get by without? How 259 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,120 Speaker 1: many wet dreams are are allowed? Yes, depleting the body? 260 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 1: And the monks came back and said, two to three 261 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 1: times a month, you can have a wet dream because 262 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,400 Speaker 1: you know, we we live in the strictest, you know, 263 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 1: strictest way we can to please God. And God seems 264 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 1: to be okay with two to three a month. Now. 265 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:25,600 Speaker 1: Fast forwarding to the Victorian era, not surprisingly, this idea 266 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: of celibacy, and particularly male celibacy, really comes back. There's 267 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 1: a huge resurgence in the eighteen thirties for this male 268 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 1: purity movement. And this is also why we have yummy 269 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: snacks like graham crackers and corn flakes, because the idea 270 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 1: behind graham crackers and corn flakes during the Victorian era 271 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 1: was that they were they were bland foods that were 272 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 1: designed specifically to not stimulate your your taste buzz, not 273 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 1: get your um senses too excited, and then possibly as 274 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 1: a by product, become sexually aroused as well, because I mean, 275 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 1: one graham cracker, okay, but goodness knows us s'more You 276 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 1: eat some s'mores and you might be you can't account 277 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,359 Speaker 1: for what would happen. You might go on a rampage. 278 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 1: And you know, in this this purity movement that was 279 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: aimed strictly at males, and interestingly, it's the only purity 280 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: movement that has been aimed only at males without addressing 281 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: females as well. Um, because the thought at that time 282 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,280 Speaker 1: was the women you know, were so overcome by the 283 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,000 Speaker 1: moods and sways of population you just couldn't control them. 284 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: That men had to take it all upon themselves. The 285 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 1: idea came into being that men had a limited, uh 286 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,920 Speaker 1: quant limited amount of semen, just like women are born 287 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 1: with all the eggs I'll ever have in their life. 288 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 1: That thought became popular that men are born with all 289 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 1: the semen they'll ever have in their life. And if 290 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: it really is this vital fluid that keeps you healthy 291 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: and keeps you strong, wasting it on sex seemed really 292 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 1: problematic to these people. Um. And this is where we 293 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,600 Speaker 1: get the idea of athletes staining from sex to conserve 294 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 1: spirm writers conserving um they're sperm by abstaining so they 295 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: can write the great American novel. The writer Balzac had 296 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 1: this great quote after he had had sex. There goes 297 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:16,240 Speaker 1: another novel. Yeah. Yeah. And a fun fact about Muhammad Ali, 298 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 1: he used to abstain from sex for six weeks before 299 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: a big fight and other boxers found out about this 300 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:23,920 Speaker 1: and they were like, hey, we should we should do 301 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 1: that too, and he said it was because it makes 302 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: you angry. Yeah, yeah, it would build up kind of 303 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 1: all of this uh, all of this rage. And there 304 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,720 Speaker 1: have been certain soccer teams as well where there's been 305 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: a team policy before say the World Cup or some 306 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 1: kind of big tournament, where the team members are not 307 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 1: allowed to sleep with with people. Um, and maybe you 308 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,840 Speaker 1: have to build up that internal fire and rage. So 309 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 1: it just continues throughout history, and that's I think how 310 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 1: they can get away making this George Costanza argument that 311 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 1: sex has an effect, but throughout history you don't see 312 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 1: the Elaine Benis argument of sex making you smarter or dumber, 313 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 1: because you know, there is the cultural history, but there 314 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:04,439 Speaker 1: is no study to back up the fact that sex 315 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,080 Speaker 1: makes you smarter like that, especially answer to the question 316 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,639 Speaker 1: we should be honest and say there's no empirical data 317 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 1: to back up what we uh what we said, which 318 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 1: I found really surprising. I was expecting to find considering 319 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,120 Speaker 1: all of the crazy studies, Molly that you and I 320 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,840 Speaker 1: run across, you know that that actually pertained to a 321 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 1: lot of these kind of strange topics that will cover uh, celibacy. No, 322 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 1: no one's no one's studying it's out there. We couldn't 323 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 1: find it. But going back to women in history, though, 324 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 1: I do think that we need to point out, Um, 325 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,399 Speaker 1: you know some examples that Elizabeth Abbott does bring up 326 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 1: in the history of celibacy. For instance, if we go 327 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 1: back to say the vessel virgins, they came from upper 328 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:47,879 Speaker 1: upper middle class Roman families and they were given um 329 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,600 Speaker 1: all of this power and responsibilities, very sacred space in 330 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 1: society and exchange for preserving their virginity. But the interesting 331 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 1: thing is, even though uh they were they were women 332 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,560 Speaker 1: in the was this power associated with their celibacy. They 333 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: were given the rights of men. That was the big 334 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 1: payoff for them, was that they were treated with the 335 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,639 Speaker 1: same respect as men in society. So even though it's 336 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,359 Speaker 1: a group of women who are being celibate, it's still 337 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 1: perceived kind of through the male lens, if that makes sense. 338 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,359 Speaker 1: I completely agree Christim because the three examples I've got 339 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 1: next of women in history who have been celibate, the 340 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,200 Speaker 1: whole reason they seem to get away with it is 341 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,359 Speaker 1: because they're in masculine roles. We don't have. We have 342 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,400 Speaker 1: very few examples of women in history who can maintain 343 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 1: their femininity and still be celibate, because the ideal of 344 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 1: femininity becomes bearing children. So the examples I've got of 345 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 1: women who were historically celibate are Joan of Arc, Elizabeth 346 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,480 Speaker 1: the First in Florence Nightingale, all women who rejected traditional 347 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:54,720 Speaker 1: gender roles to take on sort of these male um spheres. Obviously, 348 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: Jana Bark becomes a warrior and she she basically said, like, look, 349 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,680 Speaker 1: I am pure because I'm on a ship from God. 350 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: You can you can see the proof of my divine 351 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 1: mission by seeing that I am a virgin. And uh, 352 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,320 Speaker 1: She's basically said, you know if I am, if I 353 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,640 Speaker 1: am sexually active, I can't lead all these men because 354 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,240 Speaker 1: they won't respect me and because they'll always be after me. 355 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:17,880 Speaker 1: So there are actually accounts of the time of how 356 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,719 Speaker 1: the men just stopped being sexually attracted to Jana Arc 357 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 1: because she was living as this male Elizabeth. The same case, 358 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,439 Speaker 1: virgin Queen. What do we associate with her is her 359 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 1: virginity and Abbott sort of postulates that she saw she 360 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,160 Speaker 1: saw a lot of drama in Henry the eighth Time, 361 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:40,159 Speaker 1: saw the punishments of entering into sexual unions, and because 362 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: she wanted to keep her head and also keep her empire, 363 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: she abstained from marriage and sex so that no no 364 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: one will be able to devalue that power. So it 365 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 1: is associated with maintaining male power throughout history. So do 366 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 1: you think so that maybe today, um, with with feminist 367 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 1: them and with gender equality and all of that, this 368 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 1: idea of the new celibacy, we can uh maybe have 369 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,199 Speaker 1: the best of both worlds if someone, you know, if 370 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 1: a woman chooses to abstain from sex, if there is 371 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:15,720 Speaker 1: maybe a new form, more modern form of power that 372 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:20,199 Speaker 1: she can grasp. I think that's what what I've come 373 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,440 Speaker 1: to the conclusion of it. It's just not being articulated 374 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 1: in the articles about ce celibacy because, like we said, 375 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,040 Speaker 1: all the articles deal with, um, how these women are 376 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: protecting their hearts and they're sending their fragile emotions. Yeah, 377 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,680 Speaker 1: but you know, I don't think that that's the reason 378 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 1: why women don't have sex. I mean, that's the reason 379 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,840 Speaker 1: why some people don't have sex. But I think that, um, 380 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 1: throughout history, there's never been this idea that a woman 381 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 1: can abstain from sex and be a stronger woman because 382 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:49,639 Speaker 1: of it. Um. But no matter what, even though like 383 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: we said, there were there's there aren't any studies saying, 384 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 1: you know, yes or no celibacies is good or bad 385 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,640 Speaker 1: for you. No matter what Throughout history, there has been 386 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 1: constantly this this hatchment to power and celibacy, um and uh. 387 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:08,840 Speaker 1: And I think that that still resonates today. And I 388 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:12,760 Speaker 1: would argue that perhaps today there might be even more 389 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 1: power that you can um grasp through celibacy, because we 390 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 1: do live in a more sexually open society where we 391 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 1: talk about sex more. You know, people are more open 392 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:30,719 Speaker 1: about having sex outside of marriage, um and uh. And 393 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 1: so maybe it's it's an even more radical choice today 394 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,479 Speaker 1: to abstain from sex than it would have been, you know, 395 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 1: fifty years ago, a hundred hundred years ago, especially because 396 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 1: you know, when you look at data about um celibacy 397 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 1: and how long people actually go. For instance, there was 398 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:52,359 Speaker 1: a recent study on uh female college students who chose 399 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,679 Speaker 1: to kind of go through periods of celibacy more for 400 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 1: health reasons than anything else, and the average amount of 401 00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,439 Speaker 1: time that they would stop having sex was only thirty days. 402 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: You know, That's which really isn't it really isn't that long, 403 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: which I think, you know, um kind of indicates that that, yeah, 404 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 1: it's a it's a pretty conscious decision that you do 405 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 1: have to make, unless you are one of the people 406 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:17,280 Speaker 1: who we found in one study from Georgia State University 407 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 1: about unintentional celibacy, which is kind of the flip side 408 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 1: of the coin to where, uh, you know, if it's involuntary, 409 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 1: if you you know, if if you're a person who 410 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,880 Speaker 1: maybe wants to have sex like you're you know, you're 411 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:32,640 Speaker 1: the Steve Correll character and forty year old virgin. Um, 412 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:38,400 Speaker 1: it's not powerful at all. They feel very removed from society. Yeah, 413 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,960 Speaker 1: they feel. We found a study that was put out 414 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 1: by researchers at Georgia State University, and the phrase they 415 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 1: kept using was off time that you know, because are 416 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 1: because you see so many movies about sex and it's 417 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,720 Speaker 1: placement within one's lifespan. You come to think that there's 418 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: this schedule by which you must have had sex, and 419 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 1: you must have gotten married, and you must have your kids. 420 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:05,040 Speaker 1: And these people who feel that they're behind get really 421 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 1: emotionally depressed about it because, you know, they just they 422 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,200 Speaker 1: feel they've been passed by. And that's something that did 423 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,680 Speaker 1: come up in that movie about how you know he 424 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 1: he eventually stopped trying because he just figured, you know, 425 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,680 Speaker 1: the time and gone Yeah. But um, but I think 426 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: that that's what can be so dangerous about discussions of 427 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 1: sex and celibacy in the popular media, is there really 428 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:29,159 Speaker 1: isn't this right time to do any of that? And um, 429 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,879 Speaker 1: you know, whether you decide to be celibate until the 430 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,679 Speaker 1: time you're thirty and then all of a sudden you 431 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 1: do meet the love of your life and it all 432 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,440 Speaker 1: works out for the best, or whether you go through 433 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:39,679 Speaker 1: sometime where you start experimenting with sex very early, decide 434 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:43,400 Speaker 1: that's too early, and then abstain from sex until another 435 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:44,920 Speaker 1: point in your life when you're ready to do it again. 436 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,199 Speaker 1: I think all of those are such valid choices that 437 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: the conscious that the constant a discussion about sex and 438 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 1: when you should be having it in the media, uh, 439 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 1: can really feel make these people feel their choices are 440 00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,400 Speaker 1: wrong when in fact they're not right. So really, when 441 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:04,840 Speaker 1: we're talking about the consequences, if you will, of choosing 442 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:11,320 Speaker 1: celibacy or choosing to have sex, the science kind of 443 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 1: comes up in a wash. You know, there's no there's 444 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 1: no study proving that celibacy will make you smarter, or 445 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 1: celibacy will you know, make you win a boxing match 446 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 1: or whatever, and it won't turn you into Elaine Venice. 447 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,359 Speaker 1: Who can't who walks down the street. My favorite scene 448 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:27,840 Speaker 1: is when she's just looking in a window and she 449 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,200 Speaker 1: just starts clapping because it's just the most magical things 450 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,399 Speaker 1: she's ever seen. It's not gonna it's not gonna make you. 451 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,000 Speaker 1: That's not gonna happen. But and on the on the 452 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,399 Speaker 1: flip side of that too, science also doesn't say, you know, 453 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,560 Speaker 1: if you are choosing to have a lot of sex, 454 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,399 Speaker 1: if you are, you know, all for the hook up 455 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:48,719 Speaker 1: culture that you are, just you're being making poor choices 456 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 1: for your body and for your for your mind too, 457 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,479 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's in it all. Like 458 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:57,120 Speaker 1: we said, you can't win, right, So just make your choice, yeah, 459 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,880 Speaker 1: and live with it. Yeah, and stop judging everyone else. 460 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 1: Stop judging, yes, celibates, Stop judging the promiscuous, the promiscuous, 461 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,360 Speaker 1: stop judging the celibates. Can we all just get along, 462 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 1: you know, outside of the bedroom? Can we just you know, 463 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,679 Speaker 1: accept each other's choices exactly? So that's that's that's what 464 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 1: we've come up with after researching celibacy. Yeah, we want 465 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,439 Speaker 1: to know what you thought about it. Yeah. The right 466 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,920 Speaker 1: answer is there is no right answer, So we would 467 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,000 Speaker 1: love to hear your thoughts on this episode. The email 468 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,159 Speaker 1: address is mom stuff at half suff works dot com 469 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 1: and I think we have time for a little listener. Well, 470 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,639 Speaker 1: I've got one here from Maddie, and this is in 471 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 1: response to our episode on gender stereotyped instruments entitled why 472 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,560 Speaker 1: Don't Boys play the harp? She says, I was surprised 473 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 1: that you didn't mention the piano. I'm a teenage girl 474 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,440 Speaker 1: and I play the piano. However, I know many boys 475 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 1: that play the piano as well, along with the saxophone. 476 00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:55,280 Speaker 1: I think the piano isn't really gendered stereotyped. There are 477 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,200 Speaker 1: many famous piano players of both sexes, such as Carol 478 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 1: king Elton, John Carly Simon, Alicia Keys, Billy Joel, Freddie Mercury, 479 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 1: and Stevie Wonder. Just wanted to share my opinion with you, 480 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 1: and that is a really good point. We really didn't 481 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,440 Speaker 1: talk about the piano at all. We also didn't mention 482 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:15,160 Speaker 1: any stringed instruments, which has our orchestra listeners a little. 483 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,919 Speaker 1: It's a little sad. We're going to get to everyone 484 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: and we're a little heavy on the on the saxophone. 485 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 1: I guess we love talking about speaking of um instruments 486 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,359 Speaker 1: in that family. We have an email from Debbie who 487 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,200 Speaker 1: talks about how the band director in nineteen seventy five 488 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,360 Speaker 1: when she started band class As signed her to play 489 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: the clarinet even though she desperately wanted to play the drums, 490 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,520 Speaker 1: but her parents were relieved. And um. She talks about how, 491 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,320 Speaker 1: you know what other instruments her family plays. But the 492 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,680 Speaker 1: thing that I loved was we talked about how you've 493 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:50,680 Speaker 1: got to get uh, male flutes more prominent. You gotta 494 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 1: break the stereotype of flutes are only for girls. So 495 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 1: she writes, when you spoke of the flute being a 496 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,879 Speaker 1: more female instrument, I immediately thought of Ian Anderson of 497 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 1: jethro Tull. He really rocked that flue. So there you go. 498 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 1: Amail mail flowers, yes, mel flowers everywhere. We love them. 499 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,760 Speaker 1: So if you would like to get in touch with 500 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 1: me a momy you, there's so many ways. You can 501 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,359 Speaker 1: send us an email at mom stuff at how stuff 502 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 1: works dot com. If you're on Facebook, you can just 503 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,879 Speaker 1: head over to our Facebook fan page, write something on 504 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,960 Speaker 1: our wall. We love it when people write on our wall. 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