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Numerian Chanel forges 10 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 2: an unprecedented path of skincare innovation New Miranda Chanel Beauty 11 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 2: ahead of Time. To learn more about the line, visit 12 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 2: Chanell dot com. 13 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 3: This week. I'm excited to share my conversation or should 14 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 3: I say conversations with Nina Westbrook. During this episode, you'll 15 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 3: hear part of our chat from our weekly Getting down 16 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:13,400 Speaker 3: to Business series that I hosted on Marie Clair's Instagram. 17 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:16,679 Speaker 3: Since I couldn't get enough, I interviewed her again a 18 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:21,040 Speaker 3: few months later. Nina is a licensed marriage and family therapist. 19 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 3: She's the founder of benet by Nina and now the 20 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 3: host of her new podcast, The Relationship Chronicles. Her name 21 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 3: may sound familiar because she's the wife of NBA All 22 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,319 Speaker 3: Star Russell Westbrook and they have three beautiful kids together. 23 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,400 Speaker 3: It was fascinating to hear how she redefined her career 24 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,160 Speaker 3: in her life as she built her family with Russell. 25 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 3: I hope you enjoy our candid conversation as much as 26 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 3: I did. Let's jump right in. I'm so excited to 27 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 3: have on with us today Nina Westbrook, who is a 28 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 3: licensed family therapist and just talking about stuff that nobody 29 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 3: else's talking about. 30 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 4: So I'm so excited. 31 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 3: Although I'll try not to turn this into my own 32 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,560 Speaker 3: personal therapy session. 33 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 4: That happens a lot. 34 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 3: Actually, it's really tempting with having you here on as 35 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 3: an expert. So Nina, welcome. 36 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 5: Thank you, Thanks so much. I'm so happy we get 37 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 5: to do this again. 38 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 3: I know this is our third attempt. We did it 39 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,080 Speaker 3: once over Instagram Live that was a big success, and 40 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 3: then our second attempt was a fit and start because 41 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 3: I got stung by a bee the night before and 42 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 3: I'm allergic to bees. I don't know if you're. 43 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 5: Team just fan is allergic to bees? Like epipin allergic 44 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:43,639 Speaker 5: to bees. So I totally get it. 45 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 3: Wait, me too, So that's what happens that I had 46 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,519 Speaker 3: to use like a bunch of EpiPens and benajol the 47 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 3: night before. 48 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 4: So, Nina, I am so excited to have you on. 49 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 4: So just give us a little background. 50 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 5: I'm the wife of Russell Westboro, who's this crazy cool 51 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 5: basketball player. 52 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 4: And it was just always busy, hectic, and I feel like, 53 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 4: from like starting a. 54 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 5: Long time ago, I realized that mental health was going 55 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,840 Speaker 5: to have to be a focus for me, and I wanted. 56 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 4: To use all the tools and my experiences to help 57 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 4: share and spread all of the knowledge that I've kind. 58 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 5: Of accumulated along the way and help people along their 59 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 5: mental health and wellness. 60 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 4: Journeys as well. I started out doing like. 61 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 5: Very regular, doing a lot of inpatient work. I did 62 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 5: outpatient work, community work. I've worked with all different populations. 63 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 5: I've done group therapy, individual family therapy, and. 64 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 4: So I feel like once I kind of got a good. 65 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 5: Grasp of that, things changed quickly for me, which I 66 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 5: know we're going to talk about later, but I had 67 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 5: to kind of figure out how to reinvent who I was, 68 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 5: what I was doing in a way that made sense 69 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 5: for me, which was really challenging because I actually really 70 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 5: love that one on one connect or that small intimate 71 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 5: connection that I would get, and it was so rewarding practicing. 72 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 4: As a licensed Margant family therapist. 73 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 5: So I feel like now I'm in an Ania space 74 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 5: and I would like to just get really into talking 75 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 5: about mental wellness as everyday life. I'm a very very regular, practical, quiet, 76 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 5: private introvert, so my intimate moments practicing as a licensed 77 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 5: Margan family therapist were really rewarding for me. I felt 78 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,719 Speaker 5: like that was like my calling and it was something 79 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,680 Speaker 5: that I was really good at and I just loved 80 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:39,919 Speaker 5: to do. 81 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 4: It was my passion and as. 82 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 5: Being in a relationship with someone who's so high profile 83 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:53,920 Speaker 5: had created a bit of an issue with the therapeutic relationship, right, 84 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 5: and so I was like, Okay, I don't know that 85 00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 5: I can go do therapy with people and they want 86 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 5: to talk about this or that, or they see me 87 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:06,279 Speaker 5: as this person rather than as their therapists here to 88 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 5: help them talk about their situation, what's going on in 89 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 5: their lives, work through different challenges. So I was like, Okay, 90 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 5: let me try this. I'm going to try opening this business, 91 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 5: and through lots of trial and error, I learned that, no, 92 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 5: this is where I want to be in the mental 93 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:28,480 Speaker 5: health space. How can I fit this passion of mine 94 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 5: into my new everyday life, And so here I am. 95 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 5: I decided to create then a bay Nina, which is 96 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:41,159 Speaker 5: a digital wellness platform where I can share lots of 97 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,280 Speaker 5: information regarding mental. 98 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 4: Health and wellness. 99 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 5: And my goal is to make sure that we are 100 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 5: starting to see mental health and wellness as part of 101 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 5: our everyday lives rather than this big, abstract or scary 102 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 5: theme or topic. And so I feel like I'm now 103 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 5: doing it on a different level, but it's still. 104 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 4: Something I really enjoy and I'm very passionate about. 105 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:06,280 Speaker 6: This is so interesting I talk a lot about I 106 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 6: kind of feel like the thesis for thinking about this is 107 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:11,040 Speaker 6: how we can be doing so well in our career, 108 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 6: so we can have done everything right, and then there's 109 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 6: externalities that change it and that it's not possible in 110 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 6: the same form that it was before, and so we 111 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 6: have to be rethinking about how to redefine success. But 112 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 6: that feeling is frustrating on the career path, we were 113 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 6: doing everything right, like holding those two ideas in my head. 114 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 6: Took me, I think, a couple of years to realize 115 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,720 Speaker 6: that both things could be true, Like it wasn't a 116 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 6: failure that I had work wise that derailed it, and 117 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 6: also acknowledging that like, yes, my career is in fact 118 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,480 Speaker 6: derailed in the form that I thought it was going 119 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 6: to be, and so I have to reimagine what success 120 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 6: is going to look like. 121 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:54,719 Speaker 5: This kind of plays into that something positive happens though 122 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 5: it's negative. Maybe you think it's negative, but it turns 123 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 5: out to be positive. And I see feel like as 124 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 5: the introvert. 125 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 4: That I am, there was a lot it took me 126 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 4: a long time. 127 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 5: It took me a long time to cope and process 128 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 5: the fact that I could not do things the way that. 129 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 4: I had imagined and planned them to be. 130 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 5: Similar to having kids, and when you think like that 131 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,119 Speaker 5: whole idea of getting back, it's kind of a total 132 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 5: same concept in terms of trying to figure out what 133 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 5: I'm going to be doing moving forward and how that 134 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 5: wrapping my mind around that and how do I take 135 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 5: myself out of my comfort zone right and something I 136 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 5: was very familiar and comfortable and happy and really good 137 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 5: at and now moving into a situation that's a little 138 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 5: bit more less familiar. 139 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 3: What are things that you are seeing now, like, what 140 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 3: are trends that you're seeing as a therapist that you 141 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 3: do want to make sure that people are are bringing 142 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 3: to light, like are bringing to the service. 143 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 5: This is a really important topic because I feel like 144 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 5: in family settings, we're learning that communication is actually a 145 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 5: good thing, and how we communicate with our kids or 146 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 5: how children communicate. 147 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 4: With our parents or is going to give us us 148 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 4: so much information. 149 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 5: And as parents, we want to be able to create 150 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 5: space and create environments where we can our kids feel 151 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 5: comfortable communicating, whether it's about the things that are happening 152 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 5: at school, their feelings, emotions, hard difficult times that they're 153 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 5: going through. Modeling that behavior, modeling that communication has become 154 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,719 Speaker 5: quite the thing. I'm sure you've heard of all your 155 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 5: kids are young, all the different parenting styles even in 156 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 5: families now like gentle parenting, and there's so many trends 157 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,720 Speaker 5: and we try our best to kind of, you know, 158 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 5: utilize whatever, take different parts that work for us or 159 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,840 Speaker 5: feel like feel good to us, and our use them 160 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 5: and our family family units. But overall I think that 161 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 5: communication and is a huge trend and being more open 162 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:03,440 Speaker 5: within families is becoming a lot more acceptable, and the 163 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 5: vulnerability of all of it is great. So I love 164 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 5: to see the trajectory of that just continuing to increase. 165 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, I do feel like people are more comfortable now 166 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 3: talking about, you know, saying they are in therapy, they've 167 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 3: been in therapy, or using words like you know, it's 168 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 3: sort of like normal. It's much more normalized, which I 169 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 3: think is great that we're thinking about our mental health 170 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 3: in that way. 171 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 4: Absolutely, I wonder from. 172 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 3: A family and relationship perspective, I feel like everybody's relationship 173 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 3: took a toll during COVID, Like we just are not 174 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 3: meant to spend that much time together, and like it 175 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 3: was like just too much for pretty much everyone I 176 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 3: know totally it was Yeah, what are you seeing? 177 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 5: Well, I mean, I've just been reading a lot, and 178 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 5: I've learned, like I've recently read something about the fact 179 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:59,200 Speaker 5: that isolation is the highest form of like it leads 180 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 5: to the to depression, which we already knew that, But 181 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,160 Speaker 5: when you talk about the pandemic and how so many 182 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 5: of us were isolated, whether we were together or by ourselves, 183 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 5: I feel like the isolation from the outside world in 184 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 5: general even if you're in a family unit not having 185 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 5: normal social interactions. 186 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 4: But it took a really big toll on. 187 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 5: All of us, especially those who are already kind of 188 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 5: managing some mental health illnesses or mental health things like 189 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:34,439 Speaker 5: anxiety or depression. It definitely exasperated that. I think that 190 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 5: we found out the importance of social connection and human connection, 191 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:46,560 Speaker 5: and it's research has proven that we do better, We 192 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 5: thrive as human beings when we are well connected. So 193 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 5: the more connected you are, the better you are socially, emotionally, mentally, 194 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 5: and the less connected you are, you're not thriving as much. 195 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 5: It takes a huge toll on our social and emotional wellness. 196 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,439 Speaker 3: The Surgeon General has been on a tour talking about 197 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,080 Speaker 3: this again recently, the Surgeon General of Bec Murphy, who 198 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 3: I love dearly and actually is a dear friend, he 199 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 3: said that loneliness takes a physical toll on you, and 200 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 3: he wrote a whole book about it. I think the 201 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 3: thing that he said recently that's been getting more attention 202 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 3: is that being lonely has the same physical impact as 203 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 3: being his habitual smoker. 204 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 4: Wow. 205 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 3: Look, it has the same impact on your body, I know. 206 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 5: And that's another big thing that a lot of us 207 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 5: are finally starting to recognize is the connection between our 208 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 5: physical being and our mental being. So they're so intertwined, 209 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 5: and most people don't really realize that. We grow up 210 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,320 Speaker 5: really focusing on our physical health, but when it comes 211 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 5: to our physical wellness and how our mental health is 212 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:59,079 Speaker 5: completely connected to how we feel physically, whether it be 213 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 5: through our eating habits or exercise, whatever the case may be. 214 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 5: We have those chemical bodies that help us to do 215 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 5: better and feel. 216 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 4: Happier when we're moving our body. 217 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 5: So that's an example of a direct correlation between our 218 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 5: physical and our mental So it's really great that more 219 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 5: information is coming out and really connecting the two. And 220 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 5: I feel like it's always been like a huge mission 221 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 5: of mine with bene By Nina to help educate and 222 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:32,720 Speaker 5: share how our everyday lives are so intertwined in the 223 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,320 Speaker 5: things that we do and how they directly impact our 224 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 5: mental health. And it's not like this big thing. It's 225 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 5: just like every little thing that we do throughout the 226 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,720 Speaker 5: day is impacting our mental health in some way, shape 227 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 5: or form. 228 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 3: Yes, Okay, so let's go to bene by by Nina. 229 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 3: Let's back up here. Okay, so you've got your degree, 230 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,199 Speaker 3: and then what happened walk us through your trajectory. 231 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:56,560 Speaker 4: Well, you know what. 232 00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 5: I actually started off as an English major, which I loved. 233 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 5: It wasn't quite exactly what I was expecting, so I 234 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 5: tacked on a minor. I tacked on psychology, clinical psychology, 235 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 5: and I went on to get my license in marriage 236 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 5: and family therapy, and. 237 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 4: That's been great for me. 238 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 5: I feel like growing up, I was always this kind 239 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,920 Speaker 5: of person who's really interested in people, in their relationships 240 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 5: and how they were thinking, and how they were feeling, 241 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 5: and wanting to connect with other people. 242 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 4: So that always came naturally to me. 243 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 5: Once I started studying marriage and family therapy, it didn't 244 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,079 Speaker 5: feel like school, it didn't feel like work. 245 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 4: It was just fun. I loved it. 246 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 5: I couldn't wait to go to class be with my 247 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 5: classmates and my professors. That's where things kind of started. 248 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 5: And then I went on. I did a lot of 249 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 5: community work. I did a lot of impatient work. I 250 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 5: worked in school, so I worked with the geriatric community. 251 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,560 Speaker 5: I did a lot of mental health work in different 252 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 5: various organizations across between California and Oklahoma. And then I 253 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 5: got pregnant with my first kid and I was like, Okay, 254 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 5: this is great. I'm trying to kind of manage being 255 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:18,199 Speaker 5: in a small town where my husband is quite popular 256 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 5: and I'm practicing as a mental health professional, and it 257 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 5: kind of creates a little bit of a tricky dynamic 258 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 5: for therapists to have with their clients. So I did 259 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 5: a pivot, went into I wanted to test the waters 260 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 5: in my entrepreneurial journey, and that's been great. 261 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 4: It was really cool. 262 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 5: I opened up a store, got really interested in lots 263 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:49,680 Speaker 5: of baby things and bringing in community experts, lactation experts, 264 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 5: and partnering with hospitals and trying to give as much 265 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 5: communication and access as I can within that space mommy 266 00:14:56,760 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 5: and me classes. The focus became community even though it 267 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 5: was a retail store, because that, at the core of 268 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 5: things was my passion. 269 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, and actually, I think we should probably give a 270 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 3: little context here. I want to come back and dig 271 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 3: into this point about trying to be a therapist in 272 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:17,880 Speaker 3: a community where you are associated with a well known spouse, 273 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 3: which is such an interesting dynamic to think about. 274 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,600 Speaker 5: As you know, because I know you're very familiar with therapy, 275 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 5: you know there has to be a specific dynamic between 276 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 5: the patient or the client and the therapist, and it 277 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 5: kind of made it impossible for me to maintain that 278 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 5: anonymity that I needed. 279 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,000 Speaker 4: And so I had to pivot and figure. 280 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 5: Out how I can fulfill my passion and do what 281 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 5: I love, but in a way that made more sense 282 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 5: for my lifestyle. I was also moving quite often from 283 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 5: state to state, so that also made it. 284 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 3: Difficult because of which team he was on. 285 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 5: What team he was on were Also, we've always been 286 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 5: based in LA. 287 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 4: In the off seasons, we would travel to LA. 288 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 5: It's kind of hard to keep clients when I'm moving 289 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 5: around so often. 290 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,040 Speaker 4: And that led me into my business. 291 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,880 Speaker 3: Did you have to license state by state to practice? 292 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 4: Yes, you do. You have to. 293 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 5: I mean there's a national exam, there's a route that 294 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 5: you can take to get licensed nationally. But I did 295 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 5: some of my licensing hours in California that were also 296 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 5: accepted in Oklahoma. I did a lot of work in 297 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:37,600 Speaker 5: Oklahoma towards my licensure. That process actually took me forever, 298 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 5: just because I was practicing on and off. In the summers, 299 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,080 Speaker 5: I wasn't practicing, and then during the season I would 300 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:49,080 Speaker 5: be practicing. So it took me some years to finally 301 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 5: get there, but I did, and it just made it 302 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,320 Speaker 5: so much better. 303 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 3: Were you able to find community when you were in 304 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,240 Speaker 3: the when you were in season and you were practicing, 305 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 3: or how did you find community when you were practicing, 306 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,000 Speaker 3: because I think that working as a licensed therapist is 307 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:11,120 Speaker 3: not the traditional thought about professional athletes spouses right totally. 308 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 5: I feel like it's always been really important to me 309 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,200 Speaker 5: to have my own identity and have my own connections 310 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,399 Speaker 5: in my own community. Like you said, I think there 311 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:23,720 Speaker 5: I've always had a knack for kind of latching onto 312 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,920 Speaker 5: or connecting with people that I felt were going to 313 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 5: help me and had genuine interest in helping me to 314 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,480 Speaker 5: get to where I wanted to be, whether that be 315 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 5: like connecting with the right supervisors or getting in the 316 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 5: right doors and working in the right places where I 317 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,480 Speaker 5: felt like I was going to be taught and that 318 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,200 Speaker 5: I was going to be welcomed and that I felt 319 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 5: really good about the program also because that. 320 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 4: Was really important to me. 321 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:54,920 Speaker 5: Mental health is such a significant thing, and a lot 322 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 5: of the times when you're working, especially in patient, you're 323 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,879 Speaker 5: working with some very fragile people were going through some 324 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 5: very traumatic things. So the process of how things were 325 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,160 Speaker 5: being done there had to be a lot of trust 326 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 5: and support from other people, which I definitely found a 327 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 5: community outside of the traditional basketball wives community or team community. 328 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 5: So it's I've always been able to kind of find 329 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 5: my tribe. 330 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 3: Did you have community within basketball as well, or you've 331 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,240 Speaker 3: always really searched for your own I. 332 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 5: Mean, I definitely did, because it's a very small, tight 333 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 5: knit community, and I feel like the experience of all 334 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:45,399 Speaker 5: of it is not something that's extremely common. And so 335 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 5: I've met so many of my lifelong friends through my 336 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:55,680 Speaker 5: husband's playing basketball, whether it be coaches wives or. 337 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 4: His teammates' spouses. 338 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,879 Speaker 5: I feel like we we all kind of have a 339 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 5: very similar journey that most people don't really understand or 340 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:09,199 Speaker 5: couldn't connect to, and so you can't help but to 341 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,679 Speaker 5: really bond with people. 342 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 3: Part of what I was asking about when can you 343 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,440 Speaker 3: license in both states? Because the way you were describing 344 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:19,440 Speaker 3: it made me think about when President Obama was in office, 345 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,560 Speaker 3: the first Lady Michelle Obama and at that time, the 346 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 3: second Lady Jill Biden, had a big initiative to help 347 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,800 Speaker 3: military spouses work, and one of the big things they 348 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 3: did was make licensing and teaching and in nursing and 349 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:37,919 Speaker 3: I imagine probably therapy as well, transferable across states because 350 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 3: as their spouses would get deployed and transferred to different 351 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,119 Speaker 3: states around the country, they didn't have time to read 352 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 3: license and so they couldn't work, and so that actually 353 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 3: made them able to work. And the more you're describing 354 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,280 Speaker 3: the community, I actually am seeing even more parallels. 355 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 4: Well, that was huge when that happened. 356 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,840 Speaker 5: I actually remember when that happened and I was like 357 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 5: thinking to myself, oh my goodness, this would work really 358 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 5: well for me too. Obviously it's not quite the same situation, 359 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,479 Speaker 5: but having to move did make it challenging in this 360 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:15,480 Speaker 5: profession when you have to be licensed per each state. Now, 361 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:23,879 Speaker 5: I will say that telehealth has completely changed things because 362 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:28,960 Speaker 5: you can be practicing in your state and talking to 363 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:34,200 Speaker 5: a like via telehealth, and your therapist could be located elsewhere. 364 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,119 Speaker 5: Whereas when I was first coming, when I first started, 365 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,159 Speaker 5: and when I was first out of college, which is 366 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 5: so crazy. 367 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,919 Speaker 4: Things were so different. Being a therapist was like you 368 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 4: sit in front of the person. It's very it's in person. 369 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,919 Speaker 4: We don't want to do telehealth. 370 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,640 Speaker 5: We don't want like you can't trust the security of it. 371 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,879 Speaker 4: Like it was very ingrained in us that we needed 372 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:56,879 Speaker 4: to be in person. 373 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,400 Speaker 5: You don't really want to be talking to your clients 374 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,919 Speaker 5: on the phone, and now everything is preferred to be 375 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,640 Speaker 5: over the computer, over the phone. 376 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:07,480 Speaker 4: So that has helped a lot. 377 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,439 Speaker 5: I see a therapist, but my therapist is in a 378 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,880 Speaker 5: different state, and so yeah, so being licensed as long 379 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 5: as you're where you are and you're practicing and the 380 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:19,720 Speaker 5: rules could change, don't take you know, the rules could 381 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,119 Speaker 5: change vary from state to state, but you can see 382 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,440 Speaker 5: clients that are not in the same state as long 383 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:26,399 Speaker 5: as you're in that state. 384 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 3: Oh, that's super interesting how the fields evolved exactly. Did 385 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 3: you watch Shrinking? 386 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 4: Oh? 387 00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:39,520 Speaker 5: Love Shrinking. It is like one of my favorite shows 388 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,440 Speaker 5: right now. I'm so sorry it's sober. 389 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 3: Oh I know. I was like, please do not end now. 390 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 3: I need this. 391 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:46,560 Speaker 4: It was so good. 392 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:51,360 Speaker 3: Okay, So as a therapist and as a black woman therapist, 393 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,040 Speaker 3: because that was a big theme in the last couple 394 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,920 Speaker 3: of episodes that she was like, people need to see 395 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,639 Speaker 3: more black women therapists and to normalize therapy, and like 396 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:01,159 Speaker 3: I need to be visible. There's a big thing at 397 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,679 Speaker 3: the end of the last couple episodes. Mm hmm, Like 398 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 3: I was so I loved everything about the show, but like, 399 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,439 Speaker 3: I want to know what you saw in it. 400 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,919 Speaker 5: I thought it was really funny. I thought it was 401 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 5: a really great show. There were a lot of things 402 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 5: that happened where a lot of boundaries were cross and 403 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,199 Speaker 5: you could kind of see all of the therapists like 404 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,960 Speaker 5: holding each other accountable for the things that were happening 405 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:29,280 Speaker 5: that were not quite ethical, so like his client moving 406 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 5: in with him, and like becoming friends and still continuing 407 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:35,119 Speaker 5: to see him, Like that's not something you would typically 408 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,240 Speaker 5: see in real life. 409 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 4: You know what I love about it? 410 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 5: I feel like it definitely humanized therapists because as much 411 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 5: as the relationship between your therapist is so important, they're 412 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 5: just people too, And this happens a lot, you know. 413 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 5: I've learned that people jump from therapists to therapist quite 414 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 5: often because there's something that might be said that might 415 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 5: rub them the wrong way one time, or they made 416 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:07,199 Speaker 5: them feel uncomfortable, which therapists typically tend to do that 417 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,479 Speaker 5: when talking about certain things that we are not usually 418 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:15,479 Speaker 5: are accustomed to talking to. And I've seen that and 419 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,560 Speaker 5: noticed that as a thing, like when the therapist says 420 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,399 Speaker 5: one thing or does one thing, then you're ready to 421 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 5: run where I'm like, well, this is a look at 422 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 5: actual people that aren't therapists. But they're messy, their lives 423 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,160 Speaker 5: are messy. They can go into a therapy session which 424 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 5: something really crazy just happened before, like anyone else, maybe 425 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 5: they're not on top of their. 426 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 4: Game that day. I just thought it was so interesting 427 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 4: and fun to see. 428 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,959 Speaker 3: Yeah, I loved it so much. Okay, so tell us 429 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,200 Speaker 3: about the cards. 430 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:50,080 Speaker 5: I created Do Tell because I wanted to. I love 431 00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:55,240 Speaker 5: having conversations. I'm the person who is at dinner doing 432 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 5: like all the fun little thought provoking ice breakers and 433 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 5: things like that, and so do Tell actually was inspired 434 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:07,119 Speaker 5: by my husband, which we used to play this game 435 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,640 Speaker 5: when we were in college, where. 436 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,200 Speaker 4: We would just ask. 437 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,680 Speaker 5: It was like a question game and we could ask 438 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,640 Speaker 5: each other any question we wanted. You had to answer, 439 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 5: And that was my way of getting more communication from him, 440 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 5: who he's not much of a talker, so and also 441 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 5: building a deeper connection and getting down to some more important, 442 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:28,200 Speaker 5: serious topics. 443 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 4: And that's what I wanted to do with the game. 444 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 5: I wanted to create a fun way for people to interact. 445 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,480 Speaker 4: It's a game, so it feels a little. 446 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:43,119 Speaker 5: Less dauntem and it's just each question is used to 447 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:47,880 Speaker 5: provoke like thought and self reflection, whether it's about yourself 448 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:52,119 Speaker 5: and your personal interest or your relationships. I wanted to 449 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,160 Speaker 5: create a game that's going to give you some thought 450 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 5: and insight into the things that your goal that are 451 00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 5: going on in our everyday lives that we don't take 452 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 5: the time out to really think about normally because we're 453 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 5: all so busy. 454 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, and where can people find it? 455 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:12,439 Speaker 5: I mean social media, my Instagram. You can go to 456 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:16,560 Speaker 5: Dotailcardgame dot com and purchase it, and there's lots of 457 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:21,359 Speaker 5: videos that share like how you play. And I've played 458 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,960 Speaker 5: with couples, I've played with girlfriends, I've played with my husband, 459 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 5: my family, my parents. It checks the boxes for each 460 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,120 Speaker 5: group of people and it's fun. 461 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 4: Everyone always wants to keep playing. 462 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:37,120 Speaker 3: I love that well. Nina Westbrook, thank you so much 463 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,600 Speaker 3: for joining us in our Candon conversation. It's so great 464 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 3: to have you on she Pivots. 465 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 4: Thank you so much, it was always so great talking 466 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:44,199 Speaker 4: to you. 467 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,520 Speaker 3: Thanks for listening to this candid convo episode of she Pivots. 468 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 3: Check back in weekly for more conversations with inspiring women. 469 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 3: To learn more about our guests follow us on Instagram 470 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 3: at she pivots the podcast. Leave a rating and comment 471 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 3: if you enjoyed this episode to help others learn about it. 472 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 3: A special thank you to our partner Marie Claire and 473 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 3: the team that made this episode possible. Talk to you 474 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:16,360 Speaker 3: next week. She Pivots is hosted by me Emily Tish Sussman, 475 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 3: produced by Emily Eda Voloshik, with sound editing and mixing 476 00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 3: from Nina Pollock and research and planning from Christine Dickinson 477 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 3: and Hannah Cousins. 478 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,640 Speaker 5: I endorse che Pivots