1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,560 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. If you 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: need advice on sex, on dating, on parenting, relationships, whatever, 3 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: write us okay and more. Submit your Strawberry Letter to 4 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. We'll try 5 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: to help you if we can. Can't help everybody. If 6 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 1: we can, we'll try, and we could be reading your 7 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:33,560 Speaker 1: life like we're gonna read this one right here, right now. 8 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,279 Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on tight, We got it for you here. 9 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: It is the scroll every letter subject. My man says, 10 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:45,920 Speaker 1: I went from whop to hop. All right, Dear Stephen Shirley, 11 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,879 Speaker 1: I'm a thirty year old mother with three children. My 12 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: children's father and I have been together over ten years, 13 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: so let me say this before you bash me. He 14 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: has asked me to marry him several times, and I 15 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: respectfully declined because we need to go to spy before 16 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 1: we get married. Here's why my confidence is at an 17 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: all time low, because my children's father has cheated many times. 18 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: Whenever I confront him, his exact words are, your sex 19 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: is very boring and you complain too much. When the 20 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 1: new Mega Stallion and Cardi B song came out, he 21 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 1: even joked that I've gone from WAP to hop, meaning 22 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: I have horrible AP. My response was, well, I wasn't 23 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: what he said. The letter was horrible ass You didn't 24 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: want to say as you got to read the letter 25 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: like we wrote the letter on to me, you didn't write. 26 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 1: You didn't write the letter ike anyway, all right, you 27 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: guys got the message. My response was, well, I wouldn't 28 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 1: complain as much and would do a better job in 29 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: the bedroom if you were half the man you used 30 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: to be. I'm often tired from work and running around 31 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 1: with three children, so he blames me for our lackluster 32 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: sex life and not ever being in the mood. I've 33 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: obliged him many nights and would just lie there trying 34 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: not to fall asleep until the sex was over. But 35 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: now years later and after all the cheating, it has 36 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 1: affected my ability to perform in the bedroom. I've heard 37 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: it's a mental thing, but I'm not sure why I 38 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 1: can't get excited or in the mood. I know that 39 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: if I can't please him, he's going to get it 40 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: somewhere else. Just recently, we got into a big argument 41 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:32,799 Speaker 1: and he yelled out that I have some whack a kitty. 42 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: He apologized a few minutes later. But this is affecting 43 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: my confidence. He refuses to go to therapy, So should 44 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: I take my three children and leave him? Okay, listen, 45 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: you don't need therapy. You've mentioned therapy a few times 46 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,360 Speaker 1: in this letter. You need a new man, That's what 47 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 1: you need. He's not deserving of you. I mean, what 48 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 1: does he do besides put you down and cheat? Ten 49 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 1: years of this, ten years of this been going through 50 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 1: It has to be enough that you know, just say enough. 51 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 1: This has to be enough for even the strongest and 52 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: the most confident woman wouldn't be able to deal with 53 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: this all the time. And here you are doing what 54 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: so many women do, blaming yourself. I mean, I just say, 55 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 1: life happens, three kids in a full time job that's 56 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 1: not easy for anyone, and then he expects you to 57 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: perform and all of this and blah blah blah. When 58 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: your man is not right, sex is the last thing 59 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 1: on your mind. Let me tell you that the only 60 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 1: thing that you were to blame for in this is 61 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: staying with him, in my opinion, for ten years, and 62 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: for taking him back repeatedly when he cheats on you. 63 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: So you don't give him an incentive to stop cheating 64 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 1: or anything like that. So I say to you, first 65 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: things first, don't worry about from whop to hop and 66 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 1: all of that right now, forget all that. You can 67 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: get that back. He doesn't appreciate it or deserve it anyway. 68 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: It's just time to get back to yourself. I think 69 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: you should do you boo right now. Start building up, 70 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: Start restoring what you have allowed him to tear down 71 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: in all these years. Fall in love with yourself again. 72 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: Start putting yourself first. Okay, yourself first, and watch him 73 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: take notice. If not, don't be afraid to get the 74 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: kids and move on or put his trifling behind out. Steve, 75 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:26,159 Speaker 1: you don't surely I agree with every single thing you've said. 76 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 1: Great advice to this woman. Of course, my angle, it's 77 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 1: gonna be a little bit different. See. I know how 78 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: men operate, and what he's doing is the atypical thing 79 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: when a man get busted or something. Here comes the 80 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 1: reverse psychology. Yeah, here comes the why I did it? 81 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: You know not? It's thirty year old mother three been 82 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: together ten years. He's asking a marry but she's declined 83 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 1: respectful me because she feel like they need to go 84 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 1: to counseling before they get married, because my confidence is 85 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 1: at all time low because he's cheated on her many times. 86 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:11,360 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, cheated on you many times? Why are 87 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: you still in the relationship the marriage part. This ain't 88 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: even a discussion. If a man ain't gonna act right 89 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 1: before you get married, what makes you think? What thing 90 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 1: happens that makes you think that he gonna change after 91 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 1: you getting married? Remember, like I've said on this show 92 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 1: several times, a minister told me one time, when a 93 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: man gets married, the only thing that changes the day 94 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: after the wedding is the appearance of his left hand 95 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: third finger. That's if he is what he was before 96 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: you got married. Marriage doesn't change anything. Now if a 97 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: person or you either practice being married or you don't. 98 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 1: You either getting ready used to cutt and cut your 99 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 1: little strings out there or your little wife old sowan 100 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 1: get that out the way for you get married. That's 101 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:06,159 Speaker 1: how you get married. You can't be cheating on this 102 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 1: woman repeatedly, steady asking her to marry you, marry you 103 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: for what man? Are you kidding me? And then every 104 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 1: time you bust him, his exact words are, your sex 105 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 1: is very bored and you complain too much. Wait a minute, 106 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:26,120 Speaker 1: that's not why you're cheating on me. You cheating on 107 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,360 Speaker 1: me because your ass is a low life. That's why 108 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,800 Speaker 1: you doing it. Man. Now, when we come back, I 109 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 1: have my weight that you should handle this. All right, 110 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:42,040 Speaker 1: coming up, we'll have you staying okay, oh okay. At 111 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:45,920 Speaker 1: twenty three after the hour, subject of my Strawberry letter 112 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:49,279 Speaker 1: for today is my man says I went from wap 113 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:52,800 Speaker 1: to hop. We'll get back into it right after this. 114 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 1: You're listening Morning show, all right, Steve, come on, let's 115 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry letters. Subject man says, I went from 116 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:06,039 Speaker 1: wop to hop. This letter right here kind of hurts. 117 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: So Shirley gave this woman some spot on advice that 118 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: I agree with thousand percent. Thirty year old woman three 119 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 1: children have been together with her man ten years and 120 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 1: she's asked he's asked her to marry him several times, 121 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 1: but she's respectfully declined. Why you did it respectfully? I 122 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 1: don't know, because I found out he wasn't treating you 123 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: with no respect at all. But you respectfully decline because 124 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: you say you need to go to therapy before you 125 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: getting married, because your confidence as an all time low 126 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:38,559 Speaker 1: because he has cheated on you many times. Now, here's 127 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: the thing. When you confront him, his exact words are, 128 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: your sex is very boring and you complain too much. 129 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, that's why he's cheated on you many times. 130 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: But he stayed with you for ten years, made three keys, 131 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,160 Speaker 1: and he's telling you that your sex is very boring 132 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 1: his show, keep coming over. There a lot for this 133 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: boring sex. Three kids now. When the new Mad Stallion 134 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: and Cardi B song came out, he joked that I've 135 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: gone from whop to a hop hap and in the 136 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 1: words of his latter meaning I have a horrible ass 137 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:35,200 Speaker 1: p okay not dog. Really, this is mental abuse. I 138 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: understand the woman's confidence being shattered to understand that, but dog, 139 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 1: So you're gonna use reverse psychology. So you're telling this 140 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: woman the reason you cheat because she got bad sex. 141 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, and then, lady, Now, now you got close. Lady, 142 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: here's why I started to have hope for you. My 143 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 1: response was, well, I wouldn't complain as much and would 144 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: do a better job in the bedroom if you were 145 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 1: half the man and you used to be Na, that's 146 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: why I want to get that in this letter. See 147 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 1: oh you stinging me talking about it. I got a 148 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:13,559 Speaker 1: horrible p. Let's talk about choke pe see right now, See, 149 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: if you're gonna talk about my pe, then we need 150 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: to talk about choke pe. See. I might have a 151 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 1: hop a horrible ass p. But but you got something 152 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,440 Speaker 1: wrong with you too, because you just saying he had 153 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,119 Speaker 1: to man, he used to be. That's a lot smaller. 154 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 1: You're scaring me stick. So now you gotta lap. See 155 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 1: you gotta halp. You got a horrible ass P, and 156 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: he got a lap. He got a little last pe. 157 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,680 Speaker 1: See what I mean? Then what we got to do? 158 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 1: We were we're doing initials. Now, oh, I gotta help. 159 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: You gotta lap, you gotta no, we're here talking about 160 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 1: each other. Pete, let's spread the pee round. Make my 161 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 1: funk the pe funk. I want to get funked up. 162 00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:00,559 Speaker 1: I want the bomb, I want the pe funk. I 163 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 1: want my funk funked up. Make my funk the p funk. 164 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,680 Speaker 1: I want you to get funked up. That's what you 165 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 1: are to play the next time, y'all head to the 166 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 1: bathroom in the head to the bedroom. I want something 167 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: to happen to me. But you ain't half the man 168 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,600 Speaker 1: you used to be, cause you the shrunk. Oh, your 169 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,560 Speaker 1: fat ass stomach is leaning over your belt. I can't 170 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 1: find it. You can't find it now you're over here 171 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: talking about mind horrible. It's cause you little. Now we're 172 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 1: doing all. You can go or you can go lp. 173 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 1: You got a livesy old poker. See your poker is lousy. 174 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 1: All you can be a lap You gotta you gotta 175 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:45,480 Speaker 1: limp ass poker. See you can use We can dose 176 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:51,199 Speaker 1: initials all day. See one thing about it, ladies. You 177 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: can bruise your man's ego or were in the ego 178 00:10:55,520 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: bruising business. Yeah, you ain't as ex siting in the 179 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,720 Speaker 1: bedroom no more, sister, because he don't excite you. Noo. 180 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 1: Yeah you don't need you need. Yeah, you need to 181 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: give it to him like he giving it to you. 182 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:15,599 Speaker 1: It ain't what it was because you ain't what you was. 183 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: You don't know what color shoes you got on? What 184 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,679 Speaker 1: color your shoes? You look straight down? What color your shoes? 185 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: You don't even know. I went through that when I 186 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,959 Speaker 1: was pregnant. See you don't know that. See, but men, 187 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 1: see it's okay for a woman to do that when 188 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 1: she pregnant y'all have a baby in there, but some 189 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,679 Speaker 1: of us can't look down because we ain't even got 190 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 1: no baby. We just look like we're in our second trial. Mess. See, 191 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:44,000 Speaker 1: you got to bring this up to him. You ain't 192 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 1: got to be the only one take a shot. And 193 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 1: now years later, after all the cheating, it's affected your 194 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 1: ability to perform in the bedroom. I've heard it's a 195 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: mental thing, but I'm not sure why I can't get 196 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,559 Speaker 1: excited or in the mood. Well, let me help you. 197 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:01,079 Speaker 1: You can't get excited because he ain't exciting, He ain't 198 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,079 Speaker 1: doing nothing, And when he gets there, you're about to 199 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: fall asleep. All these his kids, yeah, ain't his kids? 200 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,760 Speaker 1: Then it must have been good at some point, That's 201 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,400 Speaker 1: what I said. That's what I said, you know. And 202 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,760 Speaker 1: they all little kids because he because he looked and 203 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: he made little kids, all his kids, real little on 204 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,719 Speaker 1: the side down there at the school. That's why I 205 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:32,320 Speaker 1: ain't none of them playing basketball, none of this. See, 206 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 1: y'all gonna to stand his ass. Now, y'all got the 207 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,240 Speaker 1: big ass argument. Recently he yelled out that he got 208 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: some whack ass kitty. Then he gonna apologize a few 209 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: minutes later. Well, you, well, well you got a whack ass. 210 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 1: Well we can't. I just said it. Well, yours is 211 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: whacked too, So we just in here, just both serving 212 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 1: up just bad sex. Now where you're going, you gotta 213 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: keep cheating because every time you cheat with somebody, they 214 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 1: don't want it no more. So you gotta go get 215 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 1: somebody else to cheat, so they're body to found out 216 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 1: what I know today. Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, 217 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,199 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast 218 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 1: on demand too. You're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning 219 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 1: Show