1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:02,120 Speaker 1: This is the Fred Show. 2 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 2: We have your chance to win a trip for two 3 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 2: to see Kelly Clarkson's return to Las Vegas for her 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 2: brand new residency Studio Sessions Live at the Coliseum at 5 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:15,319 Speaker 2: Caesar's Palace on August first. Text Palace to three seven 6 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,599 Speaker 2: three three seven now for a chance to win two 7 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 2: tickets to the August first show, two nights hotels day, 8 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 2: July thirty first to August second at the Flamingo, Las Vegas, 9 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 2: and round trip airfare. A confirmation text will be sent. 10 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 2: Standard message data rates apply. All thanks to the Live Nation. 11 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 1: Stay or Go. 12 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 2: A lot of people don't know that I'm the guy 13 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 2: playing those big drums with the big you know, with 14 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 2: the sticks with the big sad thing on the end 15 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:39,239 Speaker 2: of it. 16 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,479 Speaker 1: Boom boom. A lot of people don't know I'm the 17 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: guy sure the harpist not on that track. 18 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,279 Speaker 2: No, No, I mean I'm a studio artist, and I've 19 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 2: been known to a session artist. 20 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: I've been known to do a lot of different things. 21 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,480 Speaker 2: On this one, I'm the boom boom guy. Yes, every 22 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 2: time you hear boom boom, you eight right on Alexplorin 23 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 2: that that's really kind of my thing. 24 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 1: A lot of people don't know that. 25 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, thanks for keeping that a secret because there 26 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,040 Speaker 2: was a non disclosure and stuff because I think the 27 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 2: guy who actually plays the bongos, who was sick that day, 28 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:12,919 Speaker 2: he don't want people to know. Hey, Jamie, good morning. 29 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 2: I don't know what the instrument's called, but I play it. 30 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 2: You just hand me one. I just can do it. 31 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: Jamie. Hi, welcome, so welcome to stair Go. 32 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 2: Thank you for your note to us Fredshire Radio on 33 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 2: the Socials Fredshire Radio dot com. 34 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: You can get us that way too. 35 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 2: You are married, right, yes, okay, you're married and you 36 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 2: recently got into your husband's car and what happened? 37 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 3: So I got into my husband's car and I saw 38 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 3: that another woman had connected to his bluetooth. 39 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 2: No boy, And how did you see that? Because it said, like, 40 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 2: you know, big Movie, Big Moby Pauline his car phone 41 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 2: or I don't know, like what people people name their phone, right, 42 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 2: so like sometimes people are funny about it. But so 43 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 2: how did you know because said someone's iPhone or something. 44 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I went to connect my phone so I could 45 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 3: play some music when we were going to the store, 46 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,920 Speaker 3: and I saw that Stephanie's iPhone was the one to 47 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 3: last connect to his car. 48 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 2: Okay, did he loan his car out? I mean about 49 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 2: who's Stephanie? Okay, Helen, I don't mean to bury the 50 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 2: lead here. Who's Stephanie? Do we know? 51 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,640 Speaker 3: I didn't know until I asked my husband. I had 52 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 3: never heard of a Stephanie. He had never mentioned a Stephanie, 53 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 3: and so when I asked him who Stephanie is, he 54 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 3: immediately told me that it was his coworker, and he 55 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 3: explained that they went one day to go get lunch 56 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,360 Speaker 3: and she wanted to play music on the way. 57 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,679 Speaker 2: Okay, I mean, if Caylen and I left here to 58 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,079 Speaker 2: go to breakfast right now, we drove somewhere, that would 59 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,960 Speaker 2: not necessarily be an uncommon thing for Cayln to want 60 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 2: to do. Because Caylen actually has great music taste and 61 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,919 Speaker 2: she takes over the ox court, I don't have a 62 00:02:57,919 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 2: problem with it because she does a good job. Some 63 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,320 Speaker 2: people take over the ox cord and I'm like, like, 64 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 2: my bluetooth doesn't I'm not looking at you. I'm just 65 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 2: saying like I have friends who I'm like, yeah, my 66 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 2: bluetooth doesn't work, you know, or somebody so like the fact, 67 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 2: but Cala and I aren't doing anything like anymore. I 68 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 2: mean we obviously, we obviously used to, but that was 69 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:17,640 Speaker 2: everyone's speculation. 70 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: But so that wouldn't. 71 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,079 Speaker 2: Be I guess if I were seeing someone they got 72 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 2: in my car and I said, Kaylin's iPhone on my car, 73 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 2: I don't that wouldn't mean anything, right. That would mean 74 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 2: that she was in the car with me and wanted 75 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 2: to control the music. 76 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 1: That's what that would mean. But you were saying you 77 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 1: didn't know who. 78 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 2: This woman was, and you don't know why she's connecting 79 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 2: to the phone, and and and so what else concerns 80 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 2: you about this? Or could the car phone to the 81 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 2: car rather? 82 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 3: I mean, even though he was honest right away, it's 83 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 3: just to me, it's unacceptable behavior to have another woman 84 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 3: in your car if you're married. I just don't think that's. 85 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: Wait what okay? Now? Wait whoa wha wha whah. 86 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 3: Doesn't he could have driven herself to lunch. She drove 87 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 3: herself to work. She clearly has a ride, So I 88 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 3: don't understand why she had a ride with my husband. 89 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: Do we not care about the planet? 90 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 4: Lunch? 91 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 2: We don't care about the environment, Jamie, I mean, come on, 92 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 2: not really that Jamie, not Jamie. 93 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 5: No, really, like, Jamie, don't play your. 94 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 2: Husband is not allowed to have other women in the car. 95 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 3: Well, let me had this in because this was the 96 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 3: other thing that really upset me was that he also 97 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,040 Speaker 3: paid for her lunch. So not only did he have 98 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 3: her in his car playing music for him, but then 99 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,039 Speaker 3: he went ahead and paid for his lunch. 100 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,160 Speaker 4: Like is this a date? 101 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:39,599 Speaker 6: Now? 102 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 2: Okay, well, now that you bring up the music and 103 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 2: the lunch, okay, well, now now come on. 104 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,719 Speaker 4: I would also pay for my lunch. And still nothing's happening. 105 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 2: I don't think either one of those things speak to anything. 106 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 2: What are you doing your stretches again? 107 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:03,279 Speaker 1: Over there? No KICKI go, huh because cheating. 108 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 5: Now, now, we're not gonna just act like Stephanie's feelings 109 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 5: aren't valid. 110 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 4: That's she's right, She's not. 111 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 3: Right. 112 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 2: You're exactly right. Stephanie the coworker is getting free lunch 113 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 2: and control the music. Her feelings are fallids. You're exactly right. 114 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 2: Jamie is the wise Jamie. So we're talking to and 115 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 2: Jamie is the one saying that this is inappropriate, and 116 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 2: I think that that is crazy talk. 117 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 5: I think Jamie's feelings are valid, though, she knows her husband, 118 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 5: and there's a reason she feels this way about him 119 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:35,800 Speaker 5: having another woman in the car. 120 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, why do you feel that way? Is there a reason? 121 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 2: Like because you wrote in your note to us that 122 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,479 Speaker 2: you've never suspected this guy of cheating. So again, I 123 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 2: feel like there's a common theme in a lot of 124 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 2: these things that we talk about when it comes to 125 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 2: cheating her in fidelity, and it's it's trust, it's context, 126 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 2: it's history. Like, so, the guy has a female coworker 127 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 2: he goes to lunch with. You've never suspected him of cheating, Jamie, 128 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 2: So why are we now saying that he is out 129 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:03,919 Speaker 2: of nowhere? 130 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: That's not fair to. 131 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 3: Him because it sends the wrong message to his coworker, 132 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 3: Like I don't think he's cheating, but in her mind like, Okay, 133 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,239 Speaker 3: you just got a ride with him. He's all letting 134 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,919 Speaker 3: you pick some music and buying your lunch. It's just 135 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,479 Speaker 3: it's a terrible way to be if you're married. I 136 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,560 Speaker 3: feel like it sends the wrong message to her. 137 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 1: I think I gotta be honest with you, Jamie. 138 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 2: If I were married or in a relationship and my 139 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 2: wife found out that, I was like, no, you can't 140 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 2: get your bluetooth? Are you trying to control my radio 141 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 2: station out? Jami's been trying to connect your trying to 142 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:42,280 Speaker 2: connect your phone in my radio station. If my wife 143 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 2: found out that I a girlfriend of whomever, that I 144 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 2: I made to her drive a separate car and then 145 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 2: wouldn't pay for her lunch, all because I was afraid, 146 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,320 Speaker 2: and all under the pretense that my wife would be upset. 147 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 2: If I did any of that, I would think that 148 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 2: anyone I would be with be like, you're an idiot, 149 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 2: Like that's ridiculous. And I'm not Again, I'm not saying Jamie, 150 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,719 Speaker 2: that you're an idiot or that you're being ridiculous. But 151 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,839 Speaker 2: I guess what I'm saying is, I don't think that 152 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 2: either one of those things inherently leads to cheating. I mean, 153 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 2: it's not like you found a hotel room key in 154 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,280 Speaker 2: the car too, or like you know, condom wrappers or something. 155 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm being serious, and whatever your concerns are 156 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 2: can be your concerns. But I don't think those two 157 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 2: things in and of themselves mean that someone is cheating. 158 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, I just don't want his coworker Stephanie to think 159 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 3: that he's interested in her, and I really think this 160 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 3: opens that door for her. I mean, oh, I'll just 161 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 3: take you to lunch and I'll drive you, Like it 162 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 3: just seems weird. I wouldn't do that with my coworker. 163 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 1: Did you get mad at him? 164 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 3: I mean we talked about it and I had to 165 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 3: walk away because I felt like I was getting really 166 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 3: upset about it and it wasn't going to be productive. 167 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 3: So I guess yes, I'm kind of upset with. 168 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,000 Speaker 2: Him because I'll tell you what happens then, is now 169 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 2: he's not gonna tell you about stuff like I don't 170 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 2: know that he stops going to lunch with a woman 171 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 2: he's not cheating with. Let's just assume he's not, because 172 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 2: you don't suspect him of him infidelity and you never have, 173 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 2: so let's just give him the benefit of the doubt 174 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 2: for a second and say he's not cheating. Now, he's 175 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 2: probably not gonna stop going to lunch with his teammate, 176 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,119 Speaker 2: and so now he's not going to tell you because 177 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 2: he doesn't want to fight with you about it. And 178 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:33,360 Speaker 2: I feel like sometimes you know, and this is from 179 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 2: the male perspective here, any You're right, I'm not in 180 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 2: a relationship. 181 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,199 Speaker 1: So maybe I got this all wrong. 182 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,319 Speaker 2: But if I'm being respectful and honest and transparent and 183 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,679 Speaker 2: I'm not doing anything wrong, and then the person I'm 184 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 2: with tells me now all of a sudden, I can't 185 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 2: do that thing, then am I gonna stop doing that thing? 186 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm gonna I'm gonna listen to you, and 187 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,559 Speaker 2: I'm gonna take into consideration your you're needs and concerns. 188 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 2: But if I'm not doing anything wrong and it's a 189 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 2: normal activity, then maybe I keep doing it and just 190 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 2: don't tell you anymore because I don't feel like an argument. 191 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 2: And I think sometimes that's what happens when we get 192 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 2: upset about things that might not be sinister. Is that 193 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 2: then we want to know why there's not more transparency 194 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 2: in relationships. But it's because you're sort of penalizing the 195 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 2: guy for not necessarily doing anything wrong. 196 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not like he just straight up told 197 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 3: me you went to lunch with that girl. I had 198 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 3: to find out because of her phone being logged into 199 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 3: his car. 200 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 4: That's a good point, you know. 201 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 3: If he would have been like, hey, I went out 202 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 3: to lunch with Stephanie today, or hey, I'm going out 203 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 3: to lunch with my coworker. It would be different than 204 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 3: me having to find out. 205 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 7: So you want him to tell you every time he 206 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 7: does something with another woman. 207 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:42,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, so that we can have a conversation, because I 208 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 3: would have told him this is unacceptable to do before 209 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,760 Speaker 3: he did it, and then this wouldn't be a problem. 210 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 2: Well maybe that's a man. Maybe that's why he didn't 211 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,200 Speaker 2: tell you. And again, Jamie, I'm not coming down on you, 212 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,320 Speaker 2: but like I get it, that's a fair that's a 213 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 2: fair request. Have you made that request before? Have you 214 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,559 Speaker 2: said to him, Hey, if you're going to hang out 215 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:00,440 Speaker 2: with any women that aren't me, I need to know 216 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,320 Speaker 2: about it. Have you said that to him? Well? No, 217 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 2: I know because by the way, I know we're all 218 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,959 Speaker 2: laughing because in fairness, that sounds kind of ridiculous to 219 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 2: say out loud. 220 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:08,720 Speaker 8: One. 221 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 2: But if if you said that, here are my concerns, 222 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,199 Speaker 2: and that he didn't you know, he wasn't receptive to communication, 223 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 2: that's one thing. But I would imagine you've never said 224 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,719 Speaker 2: that to him, right, I mean, we. 225 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 3: Had conversations about going and hanging out with women outside 226 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 3: of work, but we never talked about coworkers. I guess 227 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,959 Speaker 3: I should have included that because I wasn't comfortable with 228 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,679 Speaker 3: him going out with like his little girlfriends when we 229 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 3: first got together, because some of them were kind of 230 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 3: into him at scenes. So like we had that conversation 231 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,080 Speaker 3: of how I wasn't comfortable with him going out with 232 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,960 Speaker 3: them alone. But I didn't think I needed to worry 233 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 3: about coworkers. I thought he'd be professional at work. 234 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I hmm, yeah, I don't know, Jamie. Let me 235 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 2: take some phone calls on it. I've said enough on 236 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 2: the topic, but eight five five three five, Jamie, thank 237 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 2: you for the call, and I honestly no judgment here. 238 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: I wish you the best. 239 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 2: I'd be careful maybe with some of this, because it's 240 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 2: like it seems a little controlling, and it seems a 241 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 2: little bit like you're giving this guy, you're penalizing him, 242 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 2: when in fact he may have done nothing wrong. I 243 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 2: mean again, like if I go out with people from work, 244 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,079 Speaker 2: or I go out with clients, or I go out 245 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 2: with you know whomever, and they're female, and I don't 246 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 2: run that by you before I go out with you, 247 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 2: that doesn't mean I'm cheating. It means I'm doing my job. 248 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 2: It means I'm it means I'm being a good teammate. 249 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 2: It means I'm bonding with the people I work with 250 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 2: every day and spend a lot of time with. I 251 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,960 Speaker 2: don't think that inherently means that there's infidelity. But let 252 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 2: me take some calls and we'll see it. Maybe people 253 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,559 Speaker 2: think I'm dead asro Thank you, Jamie, have. 254 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:38,959 Speaker 1: A good day. 255 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,199 Speaker 4: Thank you you as well. 256 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, she's gone out. What do we really think? 257 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,080 Speaker 8: She's been hurt before and I think she needs therapy 258 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 8: and I think she needs to work through stuff. Oh, 259 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 8: because it just sounds like if you have that heart 260 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,480 Speaker 8: of a you know, opinion about your partner hanging out 261 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 8: with people, Like every time another man gets in my car, 262 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 8: I have to let my boy my friend. 263 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 1: No, oh, there's a man entering my car. You better 264 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 1: like that's. 265 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,320 Speaker 8: Crazy, Like, I'm sorry, that's a little over the line. Yeah, 266 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 8: I just I don't know. 267 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 2: I think it's just yeah, like what there's a common 268 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 2: theme in all of these and it's trust, Like if 269 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:17,320 Speaker 2: you don't trust him, even though you said, she said herself, 270 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 2: I've never believed that he was cheating on me. I 271 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,960 Speaker 2: have no reason to believe that he's cheating. Well, then 272 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 2: we got to have trust because this is a slippery slope. 273 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 2: Now he's not gonna tell you about Stephanie, and before 274 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 2: long you're gonna start finding things now that he's not 275 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 2: telling you because he doesn't want to get yelled at 276 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:34,199 Speaker 2: and more penalized. He's not doing anything wrong, so he's 277 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 2: protecting himself and he's protecting a relationship from unnecessary arguments. 278 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,920 Speaker 2: But then you're gonna accuse him of lying or omission, 279 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 2: and then it's going to lead to you believing that 280 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,719 Speaker 2: he's hiding something. But he's not really hiding anything. He 281 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:46,680 Speaker 2: just doesn't want to fight. 282 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:47,760 Speaker 4: That's true. 283 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,640 Speaker 7: It's such a trust thing because in my past relationships 284 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:53,160 Speaker 7: I would have felt that way, but like now, I 285 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 7: mean just the other day my boyfriend needed a plus 286 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,200 Speaker 7: one for some dinner and he couldn't find someone and 287 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 7: I couldn't go, and I literally was like, oh, just 288 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 7: take one of my friends. Like that's how trusting I 289 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 7: feel now. So I think that's a good point. 290 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, Michelle, Hi, Hey, good morning. What do you think there? Go? 291 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 6: I think go? I think Dan, if Stephanie is such 292 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 6: a good friend of the husband, then why did she 293 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,680 Speaker 6: not know about Stephanie? Pryor to and I'm going to lunch. 294 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 1: Thank you. 295 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 6: My friends at work. My husband knows about them, so 296 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,839 Speaker 6: it wouldn't be a surprise if he found out we 297 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 6: was out to lunch. I think that when you don't 298 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 6: communicate day to day's stuff with your partner, it can 299 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 6: look like you're hiding something, which you probably are. 300 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 1: Now that's the jump, Michelle, What do you do? 301 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 6: Michelle, I'm working corporate. 302 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 2: So let me ask you anything like this, Like when 303 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 2: I got up this, I got plans. You know, I'm 304 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 2: traveling today, but like, I don't know. Yesterday I got up, 305 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:55,200 Speaker 2: I came to work and we did our show. And 306 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 2: then it's not uncommon for us to be like, hey, 307 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 2: you want to grab lunch or go to go to breakfast, 308 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 2: or hey let's go do whatever, Hey whatever, And there's 309 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 2: no forethought, no planning, nothing. And people keep saying on 310 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 2: the text that the radio show example is not fair 311 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 2: because we're all close in friends in. 312 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 1: The back, But that's no everywhere. 313 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 2: That's no different than people people listening have exposure to 314 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 2: our relationship. But the fact is, there are any business 315 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,080 Speaker 2: out there, there are friendships that exist between men and 316 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 2: women in the office that are not crossing the line. 317 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 2: And maybe I didn't know, Michelle, that I was going 318 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 2: to go to breakfast, so I did not tell you 319 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:29,960 Speaker 2: because I didn't want you to know. 320 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 1: I didn't tell you because I didn't know. 321 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 6: I understand that, but I think that the wife should 322 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 6: have already known that her husband is good friends with 323 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 6: a coworker named Stephanie, so that it doesn't seem un 324 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 6: warranton for them to be going out to lunch. 325 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fair. 326 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 6: Such good. If I'm such good friends with a man 327 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 6: at my corporated job, my husband knows about them and 328 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 6: knows their name because I'm talking about them and telling 329 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,360 Speaker 6: them about what we do at work and different things 330 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 6: like that. 331 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 1: That's fair. That's fair. Thank you so much, Michelle. Have 332 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: a good day. I'm glad you called. Yeah, I love 333 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: you too, YEA. 334 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 2: My whole thing when we get into this kind of 335 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 2: topic is I just don't want people to feed into 336 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:14,000 Speaker 2: a narrative that wasn't there before that then leads to 337 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,040 Speaker 2: a whole bunch of other issues, when really the issue 338 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 2: is that you're not trusting for some reason, and let's 339 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 2: talk about that. Let's talk about why you don't trust 340 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 2: for whatever reason we don't have to talk about Stephanie 341 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 2: or anything else, because I will say, the more that 342 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 2: you start to control someone's behavior or criticize benign behavior, 343 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 2: then the more it starts to feed into this narrative 344 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 2: that something's going on. Because again, if I'm not doing 345 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,080 Speaker 2: anything wrong and you're telling me I'm doing something wrong, 346 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:41,400 Speaker 2: and now you're limiting my ability to make friendships at work, 347 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 2: then I'm going to stop telling you because I don't 348 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 2: want to fight with you when I'm not doing anything wrong. 349 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,720 Speaker 5: That's not right though, But I think the issue here 350 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:51,400 Speaker 5: is being surprised. Right, So we communicate every day when 351 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 5: we go home, Hey, how was your day? 352 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 4: What'd you do? That would be something that you would 353 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 4: bring up in a conversation. 354 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 5: I shouldn't get in your car and connect my bluetooth 355 00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,960 Speaker 5: and see Stephanie. 356 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 4: Who is Stephani? 357 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 5: Because now now I got all kinds of things going 358 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 5: on in my mind, not that you've done anything wrong, 359 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 5: but you just didn't communicate that with me, And I'm like, 360 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 5: why why wasn't this communicated? Why you know you didn't 361 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 5: think that was something to bring up. So that's all 362 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,320 Speaker 5: it is. It's not the being in the car or 363 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 5: the paying for lunch. It's just because I go out 364 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 5: with my male friends all the time, and you know, 365 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 5: we go to lunch or whatever. But surprising. I just 366 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 5: don't like being surprised or left out. Who is Stephanie? 367 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,960 Speaker 1: You know what? Understanding? I understand, like why do I 368 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 1: to know who this person is? That's fair. But I also. 369 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 2: Think that maybe when I if that happened, and I 370 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 2: have a good explanation, and I tell you who Stephanie 371 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 2: is and why, then then that's the end of it. 372 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 2: Because again, if you don't have any reason to doubt me. 373 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 2: The worst thing in the world is when you're not 374 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,840 Speaker 2: doing anything wrong and someone's telling you you're doing something wrong. 375 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 1: That's terrible in a relationship. Hey, Maya, how you doing? 376 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 1: Good morning? Hi? What do you think? 377 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,680 Speaker 2: By the way, the woman who called Jamie was upset 378 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 2: because she got her husband's car a woman her phone 379 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 2: was connected to the bluetooth or had been connected to 380 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 2: the bluetooth, and when she asked her husband, it was, oh, 381 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,879 Speaker 2: that's my coworker. We went to lunch, I bought her lunch, 382 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:09,880 Speaker 2: and she connected her phone in my car to listen 383 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,399 Speaker 2: to a song. And now Jamie's saying that all of 384 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 2: that was out of bounds. What do you think. 385 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 9: I'm gonna have to say with wife, it's wrong what 386 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:21,480 Speaker 9: he did. I'm sorry. I'm not saying he necessarily is cheating, 387 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 9: but it's if you're married, you have no business going 388 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:29,760 Speaker 9: to lunch with a woman coworker. You just don't want 389 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 9: to do it. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just it's a 390 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,200 Speaker 9: respect thing. You should respect your wife. And the way 391 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,160 Speaker 9: that she found out. I mean, if you came home 392 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 9: and said, hey, I went out to lunch, you know, 393 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,639 Speaker 9: with my female coworker, that's different. But the way that 394 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,600 Speaker 9: she found out, I think it's just it's not it's 395 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:47,680 Speaker 9: so disrespectful. 396 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 4: What if it slipped his mind? Like is that possible? 397 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,360 Speaker 1: Because there's nothing to it, right, I mean. 398 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,400 Speaker 9: How does it twit your mind? 399 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 2: Though? 400 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 9: How is your day? Honey? Oh I went to lunch 401 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 9: with my coworker. Oh? I mean, I don't know. 402 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:04,159 Speaker 4: If it's you don't think about it, I don't know. 403 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 9: I just I don't think. 404 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:06,560 Speaker 1: It just makes me. 405 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,439 Speaker 2: It makes me sad, Maya, It does make me a 406 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,680 Speaker 2: little sad that that's and you're allowed to have whatever 407 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 2: boundaries you want and establish them and by the way, 408 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 2: if you communicate that, which she admits she never did. 409 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,439 Speaker 2: She never said you can't go to lunch with I'm 410 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 2: uncomfortable with you having lunch one on one with female coworkers. 411 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 2: If you have gone to your husband, Maya and said, hey, 412 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:24,919 Speaker 2: this is what I need from you, and he agrees 413 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 2: to it, and then he does it anyway, that's the thing, 414 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 2: I guess if you both agree to it, But like, 415 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,360 Speaker 2: wouldn't you agree that it kind of sucks that if 416 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 2: you have a husband that he's out there not able 417 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,960 Speaker 2: to make the same kind of friendships and the same 418 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 2: I have the same kind of bonding experience with his 419 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 2: coworkers because his wife says, no, you know what, we live. 420 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 9: In a different world. Now. It's sad, it really is, 421 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,200 Speaker 9: But I just I find it to be a little 422 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,200 Speaker 9: bit disrespectful. 423 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 8: Just okay, that. 424 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,359 Speaker 9: She found out. I feel if she came home and 425 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,919 Speaker 9: told her, I feel she would feel differently about it, 426 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 9: do you know what I mean? But the way that 427 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 9: she found out, fo's what okay? 428 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 1: All right, fair enough, fair enough? 429 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 2: There could be more communication and then that that that 430 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 2: also takes away from this sort of obscurity of it. Yeah, 431 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,119 Speaker 2: I got it and thank you, Maya, I have a 432 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,640 Speaker 2: good day. I'm glad you called. I guess I'm team 433 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,119 Speaker 2: being a relationship and team. I'm there because I trust 434 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,640 Speaker 2: the person and team. I'm not going to ride ride 435 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 2: them and make rules for them that they can then 436 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,680 Speaker 2: walk them walk into traps all the time for doing 437 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:22,439 Speaker 2: things that are normal. 438 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, but team communicate as well, that's all. 439 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 2: So if Hobby had lunch with a female firefighter and 440 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,919 Speaker 2: didn't and didn't necessarily announce to you that he was 441 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 2: doing it ahead of time. 442 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 4: That would bother me. 443 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 10: Just tell you because we communicate with him, and I 444 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,479 Speaker 10: have a relationship where we've established communication. I'll say, oh, 445 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,920 Speaker 10: I'm going to lunch with Fred and Jason whatever. I'll 446 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 10: tell him because it's just how we talk. Maybe that's 447 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,879 Speaker 10: the thing when every marriage is the same. Rightly, Cayen 448 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,880 Speaker 10: made a point we might have forgot. Maybe you don't 449 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 10: go home and debrief right and have like a whole 450 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:49,959 Speaker 10: meeting of how your day was. 451 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,320 Speaker 4: Me and my husband, my husband and I we have that. 452 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,879 Speaker 10: I think it's important to communicate, especially because that's kind 453 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 10: of how we've built our relationship. 454 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,440 Speaker 4: It's always been very open communicators. 455 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 2: Great, Yeah, yeah, yeah, is Jim Sarah, Hi, good morning, 456 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:03,399 Speaker 2: good morning. 457 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:03,879 Speaker 11: How are you. 458 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:04,879 Speaker 1: I do well? 459 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 2: So you take the other side. You're saying stay, I'm 460 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 2: saying stay. 461 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,879 Speaker 11: I don't think this is something that you get rid 462 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 11: of your husband for. But I do think that if 463 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 11: this is an issue that she has, she just needs 464 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:22,919 Speaker 11: to be honest. And sometimes it's what we do for 465 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 11: each other. We have to take in how other people 466 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 11: feel and know that it's something that bothers her and 467 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,360 Speaker 11: maybe something that he just has to do to make 468 00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:32,080 Speaker 11: her comfortable. 469 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,240 Speaker 3: Okay, I don't think. 470 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 11: It's something I don't think it's something we we get 471 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 11: rid of our spouse for. 472 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:44,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I agree, I agree. Thank you, Stephanie. I 473 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 2: have a good day. Like I'll be honest with you. 474 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 2: Like my someone just texted, what happened to being a gentleman? Well, 475 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 2: my mom taught me that. You know, basically, it's a 476 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,719 Speaker 2: nice thing to do as And again this gets into 477 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,040 Speaker 2: don't don't at me for gender roles and all this stuff. 478 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 2: But I was raised if I take you guys to lunch, 479 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 2: that I should, I should make the move to pay 480 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,159 Speaker 2: for it. And I'm not doing anything with any of you. 481 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,000 Speaker 2: It's just a nice thing to do, right, and I 482 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 2: like doing it. And so whether there's a sexual relationship 483 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:12,880 Speaker 2: or not, if I go to lunch with a friend 484 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,600 Speaker 2: of mine who's a female, I buy lunch. And if 485 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,920 Speaker 2: that's objectionable to somebody, fine, and I would I would 486 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,880 Speaker 2: do it if I were married, I would still buy 487 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,639 Speaker 2: you guys lunch or dinner if we went out, because 488 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 2: I think it's a nice thing to do and it 489 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 2: was what I was taught and it has nothing to 490 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 2: do with sex. 491 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:26,600 Speaker 10: Yeah. 492 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,720 Speaker 2: I think that's the problem is immediately when it comes 493 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,679 Speaker 2: to men and women and gestures, we immediately jump to sex. 494 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:38,160 Speaker 4: Why because y'all nasty