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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's been getting into the dark

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Speaker 1: world of underground sock puppet wrap battles. Ah want to

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Speaker 1: attend Yeer's favorite, a Nike knee high named tucsck. He

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Speaker 1: was about to lay down some wool with laser stories. Yes,

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Speaker 1: going against notorious sc the segment where we read weird

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Speaker 1: news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,

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Speaker 1: except we have a laser. There's other titsy ticklers just gone.

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Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of Chicago. Imagine going

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Speaker 1: sixty five miles per hour and then being hit from

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Speaker 1: behind by a giant Wiener. Gentlemen, let's wipe the smiles

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Speaker 1: off our faces, because that's actually what happened earlier this

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Speaker 1: week when the Oscar Meyer Wiener mobile crashed on the

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Speaker 1: Tri State toll Way. No, and that could really mess

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Speaker 1: someone up to multiple cars.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's more than.

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Speaker 1: The twenty three foot long hot dog shaped vehicle hit

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Speaker 1: a Hyundai Sedan from behind. Lost control. I'm sorry no

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Speaker 1: one was injured because I can't stop to see coming back.

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Speaker 1: It's like the leaner. We will be a lost control,

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Speaker 1: over corrected, then rolled over on its side. Keep rolling

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Speaker 1: because it's cylinder.

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Speaker 2: Shared cylinder.

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Speaker 1: It's like a new fear a lot. Luckily, there were

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Speaker 1: no reported injuries, though the highway was shut down for

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Speaker 1: more than an hour as news helicopters circled above the

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Speaker 1: giant Weener. The vehicle was one of six that have

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Speaker 1: been touring the country since nineteen eighty eight. Each one

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Speaker 1: weighs as much as one hundred and forty thousand hot dogs.

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Speaker 1: Is that how we weigh? That's how you have to

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Speaker 1: row them a b A. It has mustard and ketchup

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Speaker 1: seats inside, a hot dog shaped dashboard, a removable bun roof,

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Speaker 1: a ketchup walkway, and an official Wiener jingle horn. Do

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Speaker 1: you think the horns just like? We're no word on

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Speaker 1: how long this vehicle will be out of commission, but

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Speaker 1: they have confirmed the crash has not affected any of

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Speaker 1: the other wienermobiles schedules. My plans for the summer are

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Speaker 1: still on the wins coming right if the company ensures

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Speaker 1: the wier. This next laser story is out of Washington,

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Speaker 1: d C. A thirty year old man named Charles Mitchell

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Speaker 1: Baines was pulled over recently for a traffic violation, and

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Speaker 1: when the cops approached, they noticed that Charles's back seat

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Speaker 1: was packed with women's workout gear. They later determined it

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Speaker 1: was at least three thousand, eight hundred dollars worth of

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Speaker 1: Lulu Lemon products. Yeah pretty much, yes, but studio audience.

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Speaker 1: It was actually two large piles of clothes that were

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Speaker 1: stacked next to each other, and all of them had

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Speaker 1: price tags still attached. So maybe he was an employee

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Speaker 1: just returning, you know, moving one pop up location. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's possible that those things were true. Pop up location

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Speaker 1: was at Alexis's house. That's why the officers asked the

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Speaker 1: guy if it was stolen, and Charles answered, yes, you

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Speaker 1: just tell them that they'll let y'alls. Man, He freely admitted, quote,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, I also have drugs on me too. Let's

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Speaker 1: just get on and take them out here you go,

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Speaker 1: what truth drugs is he on?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: He was being one hundred percent honest, and cops found

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Speaker 1: that he had some illegal substances, including drug paraphernelia. So

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Speaker 1: Charles was arrested and charged with felony, receiving stolen property

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Speaker 1: and possession with intent.

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Speaker 2: But I bet his butt looks so good in those yoga.

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Speaker 1: Pangs at BAM This next laser story is out of

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Speaker 1: County Fairs and sweet Crickety Claires. Wait crickety I don't know,

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Speaker 1: let's go with it, rhyme. Fair food season is upon

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Speaker 1: us and a new report has found some of the

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Speaker 1: wildest dishes on the menu. Here's the top ones from

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Speaker 1: around the country this year. In Arizona, they have the

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Speaker 1: cap'n Crunched Chicken sandwich. I kind of like it. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. It's a piece of regular crispy chicken that's

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Speaker 1: covered in honey raspberry glaze, then rolled in a handful

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Speaker 1: of cap'n Crunch crunchberries sandwiched in between two bunchs. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, and it hurts the roof of my mouth

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Speaker 1: hurts so good. The next unique fair food comes out

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Speaker 1: of Wisconsin. They call it bug juice. Okay, it's a healthy,

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Speaker 1: ish green juice that includes ice cubes with edible bugs

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Speaker 1: frozen inside of them. Drink that quick before they melt.

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Speaker 1: That's not all. The caramelined cream of the cup has

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Speaker 1: more black ants on it, plus a dead scorpion right

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Speaker 1: on top.

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Speaker 2: Could be a live scorpion though, Jeffrey, so that's a positive.

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Speaker 1: Meanwhile, in Iowa, they have the Hot Cheeto Float. The

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Speaker 1: drink features a bright red soda topped with whipped cream

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Speaker 1: and decorated with flaming hot cheetos. Those who've tried it

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Speaker 1: say it tastes different, grows like a chunky pop up

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Speaker 1: mean while they're getting their mouth posed down with like

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Speaker 1: a little flower. And finally, in Texas, we've got deep

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Speaker 1: fried beer. I mean this one. They've deep fried everything,

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Speaker 1: Vietnamese crapes, there's something called fat bacon, pickle fries, and

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Speaker 1: now deep fried beer. The creators say they want you

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Speaker 1: to think of it as a kind of reveoli filled

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Speaker 1: with America's favorite beverage. It's like a soup. Make it

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Speaker 1: sound any better, Let's put a pasta sauce on it,

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Speaker 1: Like yeah, I'll take a three revels of the I

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Speaker 1: PA show your ID to get one. Next Lazer stories

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Speaker 1: out of Survey World Popular publication asks two thousand people

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Speaker 1: about one liners any emojis that people use on apps

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Speaker 1: like Tinder and Bumble, and which ones are the most cringe.

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Speaker 1: I may need to hear this. Oh I don't. Is

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Speaker 1: this gonna be a hard truth? Maybe I'm Anything I

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Speaker 1: do is probably here. Here's the top ones number five

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Speaker 1: if you need to leave the app chat because you

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Speaker 1: gotta go take a shower. Yea, and they reply with

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Speaker 1: without me. I hate that. Number four if a guy

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Speaker 1: texts you and says, do you like bad boys? Maje

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Speaker 1: turn off to ladies and super cheesy unless you're talking

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Speaker 1: about the movie and you want to go see the sequel. Yeah, wait,

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to say, because I'm bad at a literally everything. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it makes them laugh. No, it's still not funny. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's played out. Number three, Hey, sexy, what's your number?

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Speaker 1: Oh it's a start. Well that is not cool. It's

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Speaker 1: been used since the seventies. It hasn't worked since Brooks

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Speaker 1: dad used it on her mom. Go ahead, that's so sad.

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Speaker 1: I could see him doing it. Number two cringe emoji

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Speaker 1: or one liner on the apps, the egg plant emoji.

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Speaker 1: Come on, but what if I really just like eggplants? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So The number one most cringiest pickup line on the

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Speaker 1: dating apps right now is just two words send picks.

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Speaker 1: Forty five percent rate it as one of the rudest

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Speaker 1: or cringiest things you could possibly say, especially if it's

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Speaker 1: the first message you send that only rated it as

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Speaker 1: rude or cringe, so that fifty into it. As for

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Speaker 1: this guy's cringiest pickup line, honestly, he's a photo guy too.

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Speaker 2: He just sends an unsolicited pick of him with his

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Speaker 2: shell off. He is crying in it, so at least

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Speaker 2: give my thumbs up on that.

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Speaker 1: That sound means Laser Stories has come to an end

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Speaker 1: for the day. We'll do it again at the same

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Speaker 1: time on Friday, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.