Speaker 1: What up, it's a lift service. I'm Angela Yee, I'm G. G. Maguire,
Speaker 1: I'm Stephanie Santiago, I'm A D. Johnson, A J. Johnson.
Speaker 1: Is that everybody just telling her? This is a record
Speaker 1: breaking thing for us. This is the first because we've
Speaker 1: never had a guest come back this quickly. I'm honored.
Speaker 1: I'm honored that we could break records. Right. We had
Speaker 1: a few repeat guests. Some people have been here like
Speaker 1: three or four times, but not like not in we
Speaker 1: have to bring you right back there. Last time you
Speaker 1: were on, things went a little viral, a little a
Speaker 1: lot of viral, a lot of we could talk about
Speaker 1: the threesome with the two men. Okay, so we wanted
Speaker 1: to come back and really like address that right away,
Speaker 1: amongst other things. Because, by the way, you look amazing.
Speaker 1: Just got back from St. Thomas. Yeah, everybody's like, I
Speaker 1: don't like tailnes. I'm like, well, I love and how
Speaker 1: do you know your tan without Yeah? The St. Thomas
Speaker 1: and got Love Retreat, Yes they do the self love retreat.
Speaker 1: Off the chain. Gotta get you all with me. Everybody
Speaker 1: was crazy, but you gotta come. I mean the peace
Speaker 1: and just like you know, swimming with the fish and
Speaker 1: praying at sunset and silent meditations on a yacht cruising.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I pulled out all the stops
Speaker 1: for for the group and it was amazing. How dare
Speaker 1: we be at work right? Right? But since you said
Speaker 1: you gotta come, let's get right into it, right, she said,
Speaker 1: CEO mean you here? You that's what I heard. I know,
Speaker 1: now listen to a lot of people had things to
Speaker 1: say and weigh in on you, you know, and like
Speaker 1: you said, you did never said you had intercourse with
Speaker 1: these two men. But even if you did so, well,
Speaker 1: but you said, that's not what you said. It was
Speaker 1: a dance, and people had a lot of things to
Speaker 1: say about it. They were saying it was a train.
Speaker 1: And remember I was saying, for some reason, when a
Speaker 1: woman is with two men, they call it a train,
Speaker 1: but when a man is with two women, it's a right.
Speaker 1: So okay, So can I ask a question? Because we
Speaker 1: didn't know what was gonna happen like that, so we
Speaker 1: really didn't even talk about those details. So I kind
Speaker 1: of want to know, as as my girls, what you think, like, okay,
Speaker 1: let me just say this. I was very, very surprised
Speaker 1: that there was so much judgment. Are you really No?
Speaker 1: I was because the thing, but you know, I was, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're used to the course. No, I was because I
Speaker 1: feel like nowadays we should be so free with expressing
Speaker 1: who we are and how we are that I was
Speaker 1: really really shocked that there would be so much judgment,
Speaker 1: primarily for men, which I also think leads to another
Speaker 1: thing we're gonna talk about, which is the why. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you why I and I want to
Speaker 1: change where we're going. Why I'm not surprised is because
Speaker 1: we got a lot of judgment on this podcast period,
Speaker 1: just for even talking about sex, which is why I
Speaker 1: did it, right. I love that. The reason why I
Speaker 1: did this podcast was because I feel like it's so taboo,
Speaker 1: in particular for black women and women of color to
Speaker 1: be talking about sex. People hate that. Um guys would
Speaker 1: be like, you guys are hoes, no matter what it
Speaker 1: is that you're talking about. Women will be like, y'all
Speaker 1: are disgusting. Why are you discussing this. There's bigger things
Speaker 1: happening in this world, and it's like I've struggled in
Speaker 1: my relationships because of some of the things that we
Speaker 1: talked about on this podcast, But I really I have
Speaker 1: never understood why it's so taboo to have these conversations that,
Speaker 1: by the way, on the flip side, a lot of
Speaker 1: people said they've learned a lot, a lot of people
Speaker 1: have said it's educational. A lot of people have said,
Speaker 1: now you know, I don't feel alone and things that
Speaker 1: I know other people are doing, things that I never
Speaker 1: had anybody to talk to about. Now I can listen
Speaker 1: to your podcast and feel like and that's that. That's
Speaker 1: kind of where I was going with it. When I
Speaker 1: want when I want to ask you, how do you
Speaker 1: feel about the openness of the conversation. I think that's
Speaker 1: the biggest thing to me, you know, coming back around
Speaker 1: talking about it. Yes, there's judgment, but I just don't
Speaker 1: understand why we're so judgment as a community. It's like,
Speaker 1: if you're not into it, that's fine. You know, there's
Speaker 1: things I'm not into that you may do, but it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I judge you for it. It just means
Speaker 1: that's not my thing. So I wanted to hear how
Speaker 1: you felt about the judgment side of Really what we
Speaker 1: were talking about was being a woman that's free with
Speaker 1: her not only her sexual conversation, which is what this
Speaker 1: forum is. I love that I felt so comfortable and
Speaker 1: so free to talk to you guys. I love That's
Speaker 1: all I say. It's a no judgment soon. It's a
Speaker 1: safe space for women and for our listeners and viewers
Speaker 1: to be able to get feedback and so forth. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I you know, it goes into so much. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: let you decide where we're going, but it goes into
Speaker 1: I mean, I had so many women, first of all,
Speaker 1: let's talk about this. I like you taking the lead,
Speaker 1: by the way, but I just respect that you are.
Speaker 1: But I want to share with you because you know,
Speaker 1: we we've been all been so busy that we kind
Speaker 1: of knew that it were viral, but we just kind
Speaker 1: of said whoa, But we didn't talk about the details.
Speaker 1: But I mean, so many women hit me about my
Speaker 1: retreat and of course, my retreats are not about sex
Speaker 1: and freedom. My retreats are about self empowerment. So to me,
Speaker 1: do you guys feel like that's possibly one and the
Speaker 1: same hand, isn't that well maybe maybe if you feel
Speaker 1: that way. I was shocked. It's like so many people
Speaker 1: hit me up like I want to be on one
Speaker 1: in your retreat, and I was thinking, Okay, I hope
Speaker 1: you don't think that that's right, especial because you know
Speaker 1: how they used to be, like in the club, every
Speaker 1: guy gotta bring a girl, every girl gotta break two
Speaker 1: guys to come on. You know who knows we're doing.
Speaker 1: But you know, I mean, so many women enjoyed the
Speaker 1: freedom of speech and freedom of expression, and I feel
Speaker 1: like if, like you said, and if so many women
Speaker 1: are wanting to and and either afraid to, which is
Speaker 1: another question, where's the fear coming from for women to
Speaker 1: talk about it and for men to accept it? And
Speaker 1: that's kind of the responses I was given, Like, you know,
Speaker 1: you're telling on yourself in terms of how you feel
Speaker 1: about you by projecting your feelings onto mean black women
Speaker 1: are it had to be repressed about their sexuality and
Speaker 1: it's not Why do you think because there's this standard
Speaker 1: of what women should be and how women should act
Speaker 1: and how women should carry themselves, and you know where
Speaker 1: hell to this standard that I think it's bullshit? Personally, yeah,
Speaker 1: very old school, and it's not fair. It's not fair
Speaker 1: at all because you know, going back to oh, if
Speaker 1: you have this many guys your home, but if a
Speaker 1: man has this many girls, he's the man. He just
Speaker 1: needed to do that before he settled down, just for women,
Speaker 1: and I you know, you're calling it not fair. I
Speaker 1: also think now we're in a time where it's low
Speaker 1: key bullying, it's high key shaming. It is very you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? And I think that's another thing
Speaker 1: that keeps us as women oppressed in our expression and
Speaker 1: then our self empowerment, especially sexually, because I should not
Speaker 1: be this anomaly talking about what a lot of women
Speaker 1: have done done and I saw I want to do,
Speaker 1: but I saw a lot of women hyping it up
Speaker 1: to they were excited. And I do feel like a
Speaker 1: lot of conversations when it comes to sex, there's gonna
Speaker 1: be some people that are like, oh my god, you're discussing.
Speaker 1: But then there's also always people who are like, you go,
Speaker 1: that's amazing. I'm down. I can't wait for my birthday.
Speaker 1: And you know the other thing too, is you know
Speaker 1: I went from the old hoe because I waited to
Speaker 1: do it to to you know too. I'm sure you
Speaker 1: know that was probably really empowering and freeing because now
Speaker 1: you know, you know, I, like I said, I know
Speaker 1: who I am I'm comfortable and who I am, and
Speaker 1: there's nothing I'm after where I fear what someone's gonna
Speaker 1: think of me. And that's the other thing that's fear,
Speaker 1: like the fear of what are you going to think?
Speaker 1: What are people gonna say? Why? Why are we so
Speaker 1: led by fear and women like that? I feel like
Speaker 1: I let that go a long time ago. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: know again it's Monday for But that's why people love you,
Speaker 1: Gi because you are so like honest about your experiences
Speaker 1: and you don't hold back, like you let people know
Speaker 1: what it is. But I gave a j a whole
Speaker 1: headful in the airport where we were before we got
Speaker 1: the plane. We flew back to Atlanta together and the
Speaker 1: same Actually, you know what's crazy, And not only did
Speaker 1: we fly back to Atlanta together, we sat right next
Speaker 1: to each other and it was not playing, so we
Speaker 1: were definitely be together. Guy. When you were leaving, I
Speaker 1: was like, y'all probably saying other no matter what happened,
Speaker 1: like in the car, like she jumped out the car
Speaker 1: and she was like, should I wait? And I said no,
Speaker 1: they're having trouble with our luggage. She flies to the
Speaker 1: airport that of course we make it in time to
Speaker 1: wait for the gate where at the same gate, and
Speaker 1: then she's like, should I wait to get on? Like no, no,
Speaker 1: because I carried fifty tho things on the plane and
Speaker 1: get on the plane. I was like, really, she's being
Speaker 1: I was like, of course, perfect. Yeah. But I gave
Speaker 1: her a whole headful of, you know, just experiences that
Speaker 1: I had growing up, and like a lot of it
Speaker 1: was most of it was sexually. And she's like, girl,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, it's a book, it's a movie. I'm
Speaker 1: just She's like, you're telling me all of this and
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's my life. These are my experiences. I
Speaker 1: have no problem talking about. To talk about it is
Speaker 1: if it affects somebody else, Like you're not gonna Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a secret society, a trust. I'm gonna tell my truth,
Speaker 1: but I'm never gonna tell your business. I want to
Speaker 1: say this too that I feel like I know for me,
Speaker 1: I got free talking to other women who are free,
Speaker 1: Like even with that oral sex class that we talked about,
Speaker 1: I went to that party like the fact that this
Speaker 1: woman was talking about it so freely it opened me
Speaker 1: up to talk about it freely. And I feel like,
Speaker 1: the more we are those examples, the more women are
Speaker 1: gonna say, oh, okay, there's power in that, there's freedom
Speaker 1: in that. And so I'm glad that we could be
Speaker 1: an example. That's my lip service exists seriously, because your
Speaker 1: desires shouldn't necessarily define who you are. Like if you
Speaker 1: if you like something sexually, doesn't mean that you're a
Speaker 1: bad person, right, It just means that's something that you're interested.
Speaker 1: And and there's always some buddy that likes the saying
Speaker 1: ship Like, there's a lot of people a lot and
Speaker 1: the people that I feel bad for are the ones
Speaker 1: who can't express it or feel like it's nasty. Those
Speaker 1: are the people that like end up because fear like
Speaker 1: crossing the line. And like you, they're like they're getting
Speaker 1: their nose, they're putting it in there. I just I
Speaker 1: was I was skilling women and men. It's like, listen,
Speaker 1: you know, aside from the conversation I was commenting to
Speaker 1: some men, and I feel like this is important for
Speaker 1: them to hear, either through us as women or even
Speaker 1: just women together, is well what leads to that, like
Speaker 1: if you have a problem with it as a man,
Speaker 1: like I was saying, I'm a monogamous spirit by spirit
Speaker 1: and by nature a monogamous. The problem is I got
Speaker 1: bored with the men that that I was trying to date,
Speaker 1: and so I felt like, okay, there's there's a lot
Speaker 1: of different facets to me as a person and as
Speaker 1: a woman, and in order for you to maintain my attention,
Speaker 1: you got to meet all those and if you can't,
Speaker 1: then I think it's okay for me to say I
Speaker 1: love that we work out and go bowling and travel together,
Speaker 1: and I love that, but I don't like and I do,
Speaker 1: and you don't like the beach, but I do, and
Speaker 1: it's okay. But that doesn't mean I'm going to settle
Speaker 1: for no beach, no roller skating. So once again, like
Speaker 1: why is that a problem? Why is it okay? If
Speaker 1: if you're if you're okay with it as a man,
Speaker 1: and I'm okay with it, and there's another man that
Speaker 1: can go roller skating and bowling, then what's the problem.
Speaker 1: Why Why should I settle for one man that is
Speaker 1: not meeting my twenty five meats? And I do feel
Speaker 1: like a lot of times women will be okay with
Speaker 1: their man having another woman and they accept that are
Speaker 1: like sometimes women don't even want to be in a
Speaker 1: situation where he's with other women with you, but they
Speaker 1: just do it because they feel like there's no other way.
Speaker 1: Or let's talk about the fact that a lot of
Speaker 1: times because I think men know that women don't like it.
Speaker 1: So now we get into cheating because I was like,
Speaker 1: what's the difference between what you're doing what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: I'm just telling you to your face, I have two men,
Speaker 1: and if you want to meet them, and not that,
Speaker 1: not that we have to be in the same bed together,
Speaker 1: but the fact is there's more than just you. And
Speaker 1: I'm being honest with you. What you're doing is you're
Speaker 1: cheating by making me think we're monogamous and we're not.
Speaker 1: And I think you even even comment on that stuff
Speaker 1: about you know, just you know, don't don't lie to
Speaker 1: my face, yes, you know, don't lie to me and
Speaker 1: then and then call me the hole. But I'm telling
Speaker 1: you I got I got two men. So people feel
Speaker 1: like men can't be host too. I've heard that what
Speaker 1: data biggest, no seri is that men cannot be home
Speaker 1: And that's the thing, right society has put it to
Speaker 1: the point where there are these labels, Oh well, that's
Speaker 1: just how men are. You know, that's that's nature. Y'all know,
Speaker 1: y'all know that's me, right, I was always the all
Speaker 1: men cheat and that's just how they are, and it's
Speaker 1: in their nature. And get in the past and it gives.
Speaker 1: But guess what I found, the loyal, the committed, the
Speaker 1: man that proved me wrong. So now I sit here
Speaker 1: today like I was wrong. But it's men and women
Speaker 1: that continue to have that, like push that narrative forward. Right,
Speaker 1: So men have that ideas like, well, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: a man, you know, that's just what we do. And
Speaker 1: then women too, so it kind of allows them to
Speaker 1: continue to do it. Meanwhile, they think women are supposed
Speaker 1: to be monogamy as were supposed to put up with
Speaker 1: this and be one with one man. So that's where
Speaker 1: the double standard continues. And I feel like also when women,
Speaker 1: women are expected to stay when a man cheats, because
Speaker 1: you're supposed to fight for your relationship, so you're not
Speaker 1: supposed to give us he's supposed to be right, supposed
Speaker 1: to understand, Yeah, you're supposed to understand. Look, he's a
Speaker 1: powerful man. This is what happens. And you rather stay
Speaker 1: with the cheetah that you know than the one who
Speaker 1: you don't like. I've heard all of these everybody in
Speaker 1: my last relationship I went through. I might as well
Speaker 1: stay with him and deal with his bullshit. At least
Speaker 1: I know what I'm getting. Then try to deal with
Speaker 1: somebody else's bullshit. I did that. I want ask why,
Speaker 1: as women, are we constantly okay with putting ourselves in
Speaker 1: position of tolerating. I'm tolerating that he's a cheater. I'm
Speaker 1: tolerating that he's the powerful one. I'm tolerating that I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to behave a certain way as opposed to But
Speaker 1: you're powerful. We're all powerful. So if we're powerful and
Speaker 1: we have options as women, then what is the man's
Speaker 1: responsibility to understand? Not that i'm saying tipped for tad,
Speaker 1: but if we're women of power and of options, now
Speaker 1: what you know, I've got global options global So so again,
Speaker 1: if i'm if I'm dealing with like that, So I mean,
Speaker 1: if I'm if I'm meeting men and talking to men
Speaker 1: from all of the world and I love the conversation, No, no,
Speaker 1: no shame, But so so, bro from Detroit, what are
Speaker 1: you talking about? I'm not saying no, I'm just saying
Speaker 1: you've got to know who you're dealing with. You have
Speaker 1: to bring conversation, you know what I mean. Listen, I've
Speaker 1: had excess come to me and my d m s
Speaker 1: and my text since our first talk. Can you please
Speaker 1: just say it's me? I'm like, you know what, ain't you?
Speaker 1: I know, but all my friends think it's me, So
Speaker 1: so okay, don't you have to say it's me? Because
Speaker 1: I said, well, what did you say when they asked you?
Speaker 1: I said maybe really the aftermath of the viral, It's like,
Speaker 1: let me ask you, this didn't bother you at all?
Speaker 1: Like honestly, because I know sometimes like things can happen
Speaker 1: with me and people who don't know me be like,
Speaker 1: yeah she always was. I'm like, I don't even know you,
Speaker 1: but did it bother you at all? That so many
Speaker 1: people are commenting on something that you chose to share
Speaker 1: and having things to say, like the people who are
Speaker 1: really negative, did it get under your did? I gotta
Speaker 1: tell you because before our talk, I already decided that
Speaker 1: my assignment is to teach. For example, I already know
Speaker 1: that that's what where life therapy comes from and couples
Speaker 1: retreat comes from. I already know that part of my
Speaker 1: assignment is to share and teach and shift the narrative.
Speaker 1: So if it was time for me to shift the
Speaker 1: narrative when it comes to a polyamorous relationship or monogamy
Speaker 1: versus not monogamy, I was open to it. And of course,
Speaker 1: like you, you know, I've been in this business for
Speaker 1: over twenty years, so I know there's gonna be yea
Speaker 1: and nay. But my thing was, when you say nay,
Speaker 1: make sure it's intelligent, it makes sense. Don't don't come
Speaker 1: from me on my page because you're gonna get your
Speaker 1: feeling certain. Listen, right, it's educating. Like people say, don't
Speaker 1: explain yourself. It was. It's definitely more explanation and education. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you wasn't like trying to embarrass people. You were
Speaker 1: just or insulting people or anything. Yeah, you know what
Speaker 1: it is. Here's another limited mind frame. And this is
Speaker 1: a great example of a guy who made me think
Speaker 1: maybe there's two for me because I can't, you know,
Speaker 1: because I'm bored with one like him. And I was
Speaker 1: saying stuff like that, like you're a perfect example why
Speaker 1: I was born this mentality, this whole idea of I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to be a certain way because I'm a woman.
Speaker 1: But when again, it's like you know, I would say,
Speaker 1: if you have not traveled the world, we can't even
Speaker 1: have a conversation brought you were bringing a butter knife
Speaker 1: to a cannon fight. I don't know, like like you know,
Speaker 1: I'm on my second book in a year, because they
Speaker 1: don't they don't replace pages anymore. Do you even know
Speaker 1: that about? No, I don't even know. They didn't get
Speaker 1: the book with the pages on it. But if not,
Speaker 1: you got to get a whole new, whole one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they don't even add pages anymore. So I mean, if
Speaker 1: you're not even yet, then we can what are we
Speaker 1: talking about? And I think also, once you're comfortable in
Speaker 1: your truth, you're able to come onto thisism more. I
Speaker 1: think that's it too, um, And I'm comfortable. I'm comfortable
Speaker 1: in my truth. I'm comfortable who I am and comfortable
Speaker 1: with my choices. I mean, there's nothing I regret, there's
Speaker 1: no shame to my game. And so I think that's
Speaker 1: why it's like you know, and I also know that
Speaker 1: most people who are nay saying they've never had the experience,
Speaker 1: and they don't. I didn't seeing the pictures of the guys,
Speaker 1: and I think most but the women had an issue
Speaker 1: and some of the guys were I know, not the level.
Speaker 1: So it's okay, exact damn if you don't If you
Speaker 1: don't do something, it's going to be criticism. If you
Speaker 1: do something, it's going to be criticism. So you might
Speaker 1: as well just do what makes you feel. But now
Speaker 1: let's talk about this. What's on our bucket list of
Speaker 1: things that we haven't done yet that we would like
Speaker 1: to do. I gotta be honest, you know, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: but these things that are happening are not necessarily like
Speaker 1: bucket list options. It's just that opportunities come. And like
Speaker 1: I said, I didn't know even that night that's going
Speaker 1: to happen. Right, it was are the best time. But
Speaker 1: I do think that there are some things that were like,
Speaker 1: you know, it makes you think, like, what's something that
Speaker 1: I haven't done that I would like? Sexually? Sexually? Oh, sexually?
Speaker 1: What is something but have sex on my honeymoon? Tomato? Tomato? Know,
Speaker 1: I mean I probably had my period of honey If
Speaker 1: I had my period of my honeymoon, we laying down
Speaker 1: the time. Now you got to yeah, period right, right, um,
Speaker 1: what's on my bucket list to honestly stop faking it
Speaker 1: so much. I'm I'm surprised at you. You fake it,
Speaker 1: You're not honest, like well, I mean, you know, see
Speaker 1: the way you would be like okay, honey, no, let
Speaker 1: me Yeah. Most of the time, I'm like, so, you know,
Speaker 1: so let's let's talk about it, because for me, it's
Speaker 1: like I don't want to be overbearing with directions, like
Speaker 1: I don't want to be the ways in the bed
Speaker 1: or the or the Google maths the bed. I don't
Speaker 1: want to be you know, a new app for how
Speaker 1: to how to please me? But at the same time
Speaker 1: sexy GPS. Yeah, But at the same time, you know,
Speaker 1: there's men who are open to some guidance in direction.
Speaker 1: I think there's more men who need it. I think
Speaker 1: it depend how you can do it. I think it
Speaker 1: depends on how you do it too, because it's a
Speaker 1: sexy way to give guy instructions where it's not like GPS,
Speaker 1: where it's like oh yeah, I like when you do that, yes,
Speaker 1: do that more. Yet, you know what I'm saying, it
Speaker 1: is how you say it too. I agree, I agree,
Speaker 1: But I think I'm like GPS like, turn up three
Speaker 1: minutes because you're doing something, and then he stops the
Speaker 1: rhythm he had and you was back and the rest
Speaker 1: of it everything, and then he changes and you're like, no,
Speaker 1: you go back, go back. I was right there. Now
Speaker 1: you guys got okay. So so question, do you feel
Speaker 1: like you have faked an orgasm more than you've actually
Speaker 1: had one? Yes, take it Honestly, I'm not. I'm not
Speaker 1: into faking and faking it for the past few years ago,
Speaker 1: but in my younger years I used to feak it
Speaker 1: all the time just so I could be over. I
Speaker 1: don't I feel like that. I didn't enjoy sex as
Speaker 1: much as I do now now I'm not. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to have sex if I'm not enjoying it, if
Speaker 1: it's bad, I'm just I don't. But you can't enjoy sex.
Speaker 1: And still that's what I'm saying. I'm not I'm not
Speaker 1: doing that. I'm not going to show. Oh no, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing if you didn't make me come, it's okay,
Speaker 1: I like it, Okay, I still enjoying my time. I'm
Speaker 1: not tired a bathroom and finished myself over right, because
Speaker 1: I think for me, I'm not that easy. To please
Speaker 1: or get it easily. Yeah, I don't, but it doesn't
Speaker 1: necessarily mean that I'm having bad sex. It's just doesn't
Speaker 1: mean the sex was bad. I've had great sex and
Speaker 1: haven't and didn't orgasm. And it's sometimes it's not even
Speaker 1: the guy, it's me. It's just like complex, My body
Speaker 1: is not even stress is just and some people don't
Speaker 1: orgasm easily. And I think I've had some really simple
Speaker 1: sex where I did come, but it wasn't the best
Speaker 1: sex of my life. But my seas like cay, Right,
Speaker 1: I think I probably have maybe, like maybe I'll have
Speaker 1: pagasm about seventy percent of the time, do you Yeah,
Speaker 1: Because here's the thing about me, right, it's just hard.
Speaker 1: I think when you're with somebody for a long time,
Speaker 1: they know how you so it could it also could
Speaker 1: feel really mechanical because they know if I do it
Speaker 1: in this position, it's gonna make you come, and so
Speaker 1: it might not be the most passionate, but they know
Speaker 1: how to make you. So when you are with someone
Speaker 1: long term like that, who is the most creative? I
Speaker 1: think fresh I think I am because I find that
Speaker 1: like most guys that well, yeah, I'm the most creative
Speaker 1: because I feel like I be like super traditional until
Speaker 1: one thing that they got that they're good at, and
Speaker 1: then that's what they hit you with every time. They
Speaker 1: would do the same ship over and over again. Would
Speaker 1: you say I'm I'm very creative, but I think I'm
Speaker 1: the more spontaneous one, Like, hey, we're in the Carla suck.
Speaker 1: They want to getting dick sucked and I didn't want
Speaker 1: to have sex and just stick it in and like hump,
Speaker 1: pump pump, and it's like no, sometimes you gotta slow,
Speaker 1: go fast, warm it up, switch positions. I'm really thinking
Speaker 1: about the bucket list, the sexual bucket list. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: there's some things like what let me saying, Well, I've
Speaker 1: never squared it. I would love to square Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: squired it. Second, because I was thinking about who it
Speaker 1: was and I was like, yeah, but not a lot.
Speaker 1: You know, how many times do you think maybe I
Speaker 1: mean same person twice but not not so twice in
Speaker 1: your life? Yeah, and say you haven't done it at all,
Speaker 1: same person? Wow, you do it? I mean, you know
Speaker 1: you know listen, y'all know my marathon squirt story. Yeah,
Speaker 1: somebody squared it again. The town that was impeccable but why,
Speaker 1: why is it? Why is it a thing for you?
Speaker 1: Because it seems it would be amazing, Like I always
Speaker 1: tear people talk about it and it's like some like
Speaker 1: they can't control that, and and and they say every
Speaker 1: woman can do it, and I've never done it. But
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do for you to squirt.
Speaker 1: I know how to make you do it. Come in,
Speaker 1: not know just the next time you have sex, drink
Speaker 1: a whole one liader of every because I think having sex,
Speaker 1: I would be like, we're talking about pea squirt though.
Speaker 1: I was just watching this, um, I was just watching
Speaker 1: this YouTube. Google what is what squirting really is? And
Speaker 1: they said that the porn there was a porn starr
Speaker 1: and they that's how they squirt so much in the porn.
Speaker 1: They drink a lot of I don't want to. I
Speaker 1: don't want to have to pee. I hate having to
Speaker 1: p during sex. They like because that's what it feels
Speaker 1: because right before you square, you can feel a bladder.
Speaker 1: So you've like, O me too. Yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: I drink the mixture one of liter of What about
Speaker 1: about I am going to say that every time, like
Speaker 1: not every time I squired it, but when I had
Speaker 1: that marathon squirt session a lot of water. I was
Speaker 1: drinking a lot of tequila. Oh yeah, it was the
Speaker 1: nineteen two Okay you want to say, I'm want to say,
Speaker 1: prior to that one guy that I had that marathon
Speaker 1: squirt session with, shout out to you. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: he wears the crown. Not the best sex I've ever had, sorry,
Speaker 1: but the best. But I squired it like a million times,
Speaker 1: like in period. I think it was the two Well no, um,
Speaker 1: he figured out how to do it and then he
Speaker 1: just I called it dropped the pen like he dropped
Speaker 1: the pen, and then he just went right back, went
Speaker 1: right back back. I was squirting back to back to back.
Speaker 1: But prior to that, I thought that I couldn't do
Speaker 1: it because I had never done it. So well, no,
Speaker 1: I did do it, but I didn't know I did it.
Speaker 1: So I squirted on my baby daddy and neither he
Speaker 1: was kids, so neither one of us knew what it was. Right.
Speaker 1: He's like a long time ago. No, Yeah, he's like no,
Speaker 1: I was sixteen and he's like, you pead on me,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, I didn't. And then when I
Speaker 1: became an adult and I learned what squirt was. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I squirted. He was squirting before square
Speaker 1: and had a name right before. So you feel like
Speaker 1: there's such a thing as having that deep of an orgasm.
Speaker 1: But it's not with great sex always. Oh it was.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking it was very that makes it great? That
Speaker 1: does that make it great? Because you said it was
Speaker 1: you said the sex was okay. No, no, no, I
Speaker 1: say he wears the crown for the amount of times
Speaker 1: that I like he made me. He's like squirt master
Speaker 1: flex like he made me squirt, so does so? Does
Speaker 1: squirt equal great sex? It's a very intense orgasm. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's very it was a great sex for you. I've
Speaker 1: made myself squirt from my vibrator. Yeah, so if I
Speaker 1: could do it myself, this is amazing. It's amazing. It's
Speaker 1: like it's like it's like you cannot you cannot hold
Speaker 1: it back, like it's gonna there's no and you don't
Speaker 1: like it though, question Now I hate it, like getting
Speaker 1: fucked and it's like splashing it every every question. It's
Speaker 1: like Stephanie projects. I know Stephanie said that you could
Speaker 1: feel your bladder fould right, Like when that's happening, are
Speaker 1: you wondering if that's pete or squirt, Like, how do
Speaker 1: you know the difference. I know what's squirted because I
Speaker 1: know it's gonna come. Yeah, and it's like I'm holding
Speaker 1: it and I'm like, oh god, I don't want to happen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I squirted before a couple of times. But you
Speaker 1: feel like you had to be yeah, you can't hold
Speaker 1: it no more. And then yeah, you just gotta hope
Speaker 1: it because I feel like about the like I have
Speaker 1: to pee, I'm gonna be that. Excuse me, I gotta
Speaker 1: right to me. It doesn't feel like pee. It's a
Speaker 1: sensation close to it, because if you never squired it,
Speaker 1: you think it's gonna be pete. Huh. And then this
Speaker 1: boom because it's not gonna feel good to me. It
Speaker 1: doesn't feel good to me when I got a pee
Speaker 1: that it don't even know I'm missing anything, the worre.
Speaker 1: And then after I learned that I could do it, now,
Speaker 1: I learned like, Okay, don't do it because it's gonna
Speaker 1: be squared. Like he like saved me. Where was that?
Speaker 1: And I the one guy I was really comfortable with,
Speaker 1: And I think that's part of it. I was so
Speaker 1: relaxed and so comfortable with him that he knew what
Speaker 1: he was doing, so it was easy for me to relax.
Speaker 1: So you can get out of your head with capricorns.
Speaker 1: W our head a lot about most or some shrooms,
Speaker 1: but I think that's part. I think that's part of
Speaker 1: what happened for me, is that I was just not
Speaker 1: in my head and relax and come after balling. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I feel like it's not like I ever tried
Speaker 1: to stop myself from squirting, but there are times and
Speaker 1: I legitimately had to pee. It didn't feel like I
Speaker 1: was about to orgasm. I really felt like I gotta pee,
Speaker 1: and I have stopped sex to be like, excuse me,
Speaker 1: I gotta pee. You know now you was trobingly about
Speaker 1: the goal. No, I don't think. It didn't feel like that.
Speaker 1: It felt like it was preventing me from enjoying sex
Speaker 1: because I had to feel like but it felt like
Speaker 1: you had to orgasm, like you had to squirt, but
Speaker 1: it didn't feel like an orgasm. Every time I felt
Speaker 1: like a fireworks. How about you stuff for me? Um.
Speaker 1: The thing about me when I score it is it
Speaker 1: doesn't it doesn't always have to come with an orgasm, right,
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. It's just splash, So that's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Sometimes you could have. It's like there's times
Speaker 1: that you know and it's in a certain position with position,
Speaker 1: it's in the position with your legs up on his shoulders. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you know that, right, and just happens like and
Speaker 1: it's like I'm not coming and they're like, oh you came,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, I didn't, Bros. That's what I
Speaker 1: was saying. And sometimes it might not feel like it's
Speaker 1: an orgasm for you, but you still might. Almost I
Speaker 1: felt like, I feel like I'm gonna square. Next time
Speaker 1: you feel like you gotta pee, just let it loose,
Speaker 1: but just make sure it's not in your own it's
Speaker 1: it's gonna Honestly, when I feel like I have to pee,
Speaker 1: it makes me not enjoy sex. I just feel like
Speaker 1: I'm about to pee, like I don't want to peeking
Speaker 1: my bladder. Does he know you've never squirted ya? How
Speaker 1: does he feel about it? I mean orgasm? So I
Speaker 1: think that's fine, Like that's still great. I just haven't
Speaker 1: squirted it. So there's something left for you to do
Speaker 1: in this long term or take relationship. Yeah, So how
Speaker 1: does that work when when you're in a long term
Speaker 1: because I haven't had the long ones, when you're in
Speaker 1: a longest relationship you've been in, Um, honestly, it's been
Speaker 1: a lot of off and on. It's been years, but
Speaker 1: off and on not not still the longest steady probably
Speaker 1: a year and a half. That was the same man
Speaker 1: for over ten years, and he never made me squirk.
Speaker 1: That's why I thought I couldn't do it. I was
Speaker 1: with someone for eight almost eight years, and when he
Speaker 1: discovered the ark score and he knew how to get
Speaker 1: it done, he just wanted to do whatever. I'm telling you.
Speaker 1: The guy didn't like her and were tested and I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie my son's fall. He used to do
Speaker 1: it with the dick at his hands like this, and
Speaker 1: exactly what happened. If I can orgasm, because I've heard
Speaker 1: women say they can't orgasm, So I'm glad that that's
Speaker 1: not hard for me, you know. So that's fine, But
Speaker 1: I will say when I do, I could really only
Speaker 1: do it once and then I need a break like
Speaker 1: the dream like a guy. Yeah, I could come one
Speaker 1: time and then it might take me like twenty minutes
Speaker 1: oh my god. The other day. I mean usually after
Speaker 1: I come, like I can have sex, but it's like
Speaker 1: like like sex, that's like, you know, because I just came,
Speaker 1: I could really go to seed and come. I want
Speaker 1: you to carry up and come right after. I'm not
Speaker 1: oh my god. The other day, I'm getting my pussy a.
Speaker 1: I come and he don't stop, and I'm like fighting
Speaker 1: him like so, and he always kept going and I
Speaker 1: scored it. That is that is that what's next? In
Speaker 1: that feeling of get off me, get off me. I
Speaker 1: didn't know I was gonna squirt, but I did. I
Speaker 1: scored it the first time too, and he's just so nasty.
Speaker 1: Light it in his face, but you're like a consistent
Speaker 1: squirter that the second time, like right before I came,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna squirt. Got a squirt and
Speaker 1: he moved and it was like, oh man, and that
Speaker 1: moved if I said, just going his face, yeah, I
Speaker 1: get this shower. It made me come again and I
Speaker 1: was just like dad, so I anymore. After that, I
Speaker 1: was having sex with this guy from the back and
Speaker 1: he made me squirt and I turned around and he
Speaker 1: was gargling it. He caught it in his Now they
Speaker 1: liked it, and he was like like squirting like it
Speaker 1: in their fallow. He caught it in his mouth and
Speaker 1: was like, for sure, it's amazing. I think it was
Speaker 1: swallow like sporting will shower in that ship, like they
Speaker 1: wanted all on their face, like they wanted to like
Speaker 1: drip down their beer, and they're like, it's like the
Speaker 1: little toy that you get out of the cracker jackbox.
Speaker 1: I like. I like. I like when a guy comes
Speaker 1: up and white ain't comes to kiss me, I think
Speaker 1: he's my pussy. It's like, I don't mind how this
Speaker 1: guy was gargling your squirt. What did you say? Okay?
Speaker 1: But I said it, yeah, but I said in a
Speaker 1: sexy way, like you nasty and I like you. I
Speaker 1: think that was kind of alright. I said my thing.
Speaker 1: Now what about the yeah, I'm still thinking that you're
Speaker 1: done me too. I don't got no bucket. I didn't
Speaker 1: done it. You've done it all. You haven't not done
Speaker 1: y'all know. I haven't done it all done ing. I
Speaker 1: feel like we've had people on here. You're like, okay,
Speaker 1: they don't do more than me having suck toes. I
Speaker 1: have really right, that's so like, that's not like mediocre,
Speaker 1: right menstos, Yeah, I mean too, you are very I'll
Speaker 1: never putting no toes. In my mind, I would massage
Speaker 1: his feet, but I would not. I've never sucker man,
Speaker 1: and I like getting my out. They like it, but
Speaker 1: they like it. I'm just like my boyfriend, Yeah, suck.
Speaker 1: I'm like, how about nipples, Well, yeah, guys like their nipples. Guys,
Speaker 1: guess what I just got my nipples pears? You did
Speaker 1: did hurt? No? Really? I mean my my pain threat
Speaker 1: shoulders a little high. I'm a freaking nature, so I like,
Speaker 1: but she likes got your first time getting No. I
Speaker 1: had them pears back when I was dancing, when I
Speaker 1: had my old titties. But when I when I got
Speaker 1: my new tip, not the new one. I had to
Speaker 1: take them out for the surgery, and my best friend
Speaker 1: was like, bitch, dumputing the back end. It's like putting
Speaker 1: the bump stick on Bentley. So I didn't put them
Speaker 1: back in. But um, it's like putting a bumper stick.
Speaker 1: That's what she said. That's what she said. But because
Speaker 1: my new titties was so fabulous compared to my old titties, right,
Speaker 1: But it was actually a Valentine's stay, part of my
Speaker 1: boyfriend's Valentine's they give because he was well. He didn't
Speaker 1: say he wanted it, but in the regular conversation months
Speaker 1: ago he told me that it was something that he liked.
Speaker 1: So I remembered that and it was part of his
Speaker 1: So what do you say he loved it? Okay, when
Speaker 1: you get your nipples pears, do you do one at
Speaker 1: a time or both one? And yeah, just like a person,
Speaker 1: really did you get them? Done them both at the
Speaker 1: same time? Like it's just stimulating when he plays? But
Speaker 1: how does that work for you? Are you? Are you
Speaker 1: a fair of your nipples being played with and everything?
Speaker 1: So let me tell y'all. Every time I got my
Speaker 1: first is redone my sensitation really because some people it
Speaker 1: gets rid of their saying no, no, no, my more.
Speaker 1: Same of my birth, and my nipples got so much
Speaker 1: more pensive. So right now my nipples are hard off
Speaker 1: fucking day. And the first couple of days I was
Speaker 1: so wet, really yeah, until they healed, like the first
Speaker 1: couple of days you love pain. I was what its fun? Like?
Speaker 1: Crazy thing is I was trying to hide it from
Speaker 1: him because it was a surprise. I got it done.
Speaker 1: Like two weeks with Valentine's Day, you wanted to be here,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I wanted them to be nice to hell
Speaker 1: for him when he saw them, so he can actually
Speaker 1: enjoy them. And just by coincidence, we didn't see each
Speaker 1: other during that time. But I had a whole lot
Speaker 1: of fun by myself. Okay, well there you go, thinking
Speaker 1: you didn't come with anything either, bucking list. I feel
Speaker 1: like there's a lot I haven't done, Like I wish
Speaker 1: I enjoyed anal. I've never done anal. I mean I've tried,
Speaker 1: it didn't work. I feel like I would like to
Speaker 1: enjoy everything. Yeah, me too. I think I'm open to
Speaker 1: stuff if it's the right person, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: If it's someone that is open to like different experiences,
Speaker 1: the spontaneous, for sure. I would try. People who like
Speaker 1: ant like people who love an't know love it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I've heard people be like that is the best orgasm,
Speaker 1: Like that is the only way I can come. I
Speaker 1: don't think I love it, but I'll do it. It's
Speaker 1: something to do it. But the people who are like
Speaker 1: that is my favorite thing. I don't love it, but
Speaker 1: I'll do it. Listen, I know this childhood. One of
Speaker 1: my childhood best friends. She that's her favorite way to
Speaker 1: have sucks. Yeah, listen, I know this girl. Her husband
Speaker 1: does not know that she loves that, and she has
Speaker 1: never told me, and he's never done it. I don't
Speaker 1: get that. You know, there are some men that think
Speaker 1: their wife is supposed to be like very like like
Speaker 1: the way that we're supposed to be quote unquote supposed
Speaker 1: to be like really conservative, and they don't want to
Speaker 1: look at their wife in that way. And that's how
Speaker 1: her husbands because he doesn't want her to be a freak.
Speaker 1: And a lot of men I feel like that are
Speaker 1: like that are hollering at the more freak women, cheating
Speaker 1: with the freak and cheating with the horse. That's why
Speaker 1: he'd be watching porn in the other room, but care
Speaker 1: her and watching for in the other room. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: she's like, but he doesn't want to do none of
Speaker 1: those things. I think, I know what friend you talking about.
Speaker 1: We talked about that. But you know, those situations are
Speaker 1: interesting because maybe he feels like he has to be conservative,
Speaker 1: so he's also afraid to just in general, she doesn't
Speaker 1: want him to know that she liked it because they've
Speaker 1: never done it, so she feels like if she's funding
Speaker 1: out him now, it's gonna seem weird. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: because sometimes are there things that you would be scared
Speaker 1: to tell a guy that you like. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's at this point. Yeah, no, and scared? Why though,
Speaker 1: to keep coming back to that, Why would there be fear?
Speaker 1: Fear of rejection? I used to not be scared, but
Speaker 1: I used to hold back from telling guys that I
Speaker 1: like to have sex with girls. You do, you wouldn't
Speaker 1: tell them that. I would not tell him, let's ask
Speaker 1: because it wasn't really as accepted before. And I also
Speaker 1: had a guy break up with me for it. So
Speaker 1: he actually literally court me in bed with one my friends. Well,
Speaker 1: it's probably more because of that, and he broke and
Speaker 1: not because you like women, but because he's competing where
Speaker 1: he can't compete, you know what I mean? Quite you
Speaker 1: with one of your friends. He literally walked in like,
Speaker 1: oh this is what you're doing. Oh your scissoring in here?
Speaker 1: I probably laugh and kept going that time, you're telling
Speaker 1: the story wrong. He didn't break up with you because
Speaker 1: you like women with you because he walked on sis.
Speaker 1: That's probably what if you're walking on your boyfriend with
Speaker 1: another guy. We can't have double standards, now, no, we cannot.
Speaker 1: You cannot have double standards. This is a no judgment zone.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, I can't. What you said, you can't
Speaker 1: compete when you can't come. But I'm not competing with penis.
Speaker 1: So I don't have a penis that we can't. It's
Speaker 1: not a fair fight. Yeah, it's not. That's a different
Speaker 1: level of pleasure. Yeah, I can't me and I can
Speaker 1: buy one, and I got one of my door. Actually
Speaker 1: I can't get you think, Okay, so is that a
Speaker 1: breaking like what if you walked in on your dude
Speaker 1: with another guy or what if he told you like
Speaker 1: every now and then every now and then, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's no different pasure and again no judgment. It's just
Speaker 1: not my thing, right, Like, that's gonna have to be
Speaker 1: with someone else. That's that's the bottom. You can't compete
Speaker 1: with it, right, Well, you know, like I don't have
Speaker 1: a Somebody has sent in a question. Okay, so he said,
Speaker 1: long story short, I've always cheated on every woman I've
Speaker 1: been with. I had to come to Jesus moment and
Speaker 1: would like to no longer be a cheater with this
Speaker 1: new girl I started dating, but I just don't know
Speaker 1: how to be monogamous. Please help. It's a choice. Make
Speaker 1: the choice. Cut off all your other holes, all your
Speaker 1: other girls. But if you feel something, you would ask
Speaker 1: this because if this is how he's been his whole life,
Speaker 1: and maybe things that he's seen around him, and you
Speaker 1: know society has programmed men. I feel like the only
Speaker 1: way to get out of being a cheater to stop
Speaker 1: being if you want to be faithful and stop being unfaithful,
Speaker 1: it's prioritize this person when something is your priority. You
Speaker 1: don't violate that because when you when you go against
Speaker 1: your own priorities, you're going against yourself. So if you
Speaker 1: really feel like it's time that this is a time
Speaker 1: where you want to be faithful, you want to be monogamous,
Speaker 1: you have to turn this person into a priority. Should
Speaker 1: you tell her like, I've always cheated and I really
Speaker 1: want to make sure in this situation this doesn't happen, nty.
Speaker 1: That just opens up the door for more realness, more honesty.
Speaker 1: But people confuse love and monogamy as if they are
Speaker 1: the same thing, and love is not monogamy. Love does
Speaker 1: love as a feeling monogamy something Okay, So if somebody
Speaker 1: cheats on you, you think they still love you, it's
Speaker 1: monoga be your choice for men, you mean or period period, period,
Speaker 1: It's not. It's a feeling. Love is a feeling. Love
Speaker 1: as an emotion, you choose to only be with one person,
Speaker 1: like lying and cheating. You don't think that that means
Speaker 1: that that's not really love. I feel like you can
Speaker 1: love somebody and do you know and when they only
Speaker 1: get hurt if they find out what I feel like
Speaker 1: when you're not a person, when you're not a person,
Speaker 1: um if they want and your friend when you're not
Speaker 1: the person, when you don't have you know, that discipline
Speaker 1: and you like just just for an example as an example,
Speaker 1: you know, like I know that I'm not the same
Speaker 1: person today that I was before I decided to give
Speaker 1: my life to my faith, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So when like a person like me who before I
Speaker 1: didn't have this, I didn't have this discipline in me,
Speaker 1: I didn't have this thing about me that made me
Speaker 1: want to do better, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 1: still love myself, I still love the people that I
Speaker 1: was around, but I just didn't honor myself or honor
Speaker 1: God enough to not go against these things, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So I just feel like you could
Speaker 1: love somebody, you're just not honoring them correctly. You know,
Speaker 1: you can still love someone and cheat on them because
Speaker 1: you're falling into a temptation. You know what, I have
Speaker 1: to do more about yourself than sometimes I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't want to get into the god called the faith conversation.
Speaker 1: But you know, it's all about how you're using your
Speaker 1: free will. Like I said before, I'm I'm monogamous by spirit.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's a choice for me. I think, right,
Speaker 1: that's just the way you have. Where I want to be,
Speaker 1: and that's who you are. My choice and where I'm
Speaker 1: happiest is with one man. When I think of love,
Speaker 1: I don't think of love with many men. I think
Speaker 1: of love with a man. But I feel like, back
Speaker 1: to the question, I feel like monogamy is a choice
Speaker 1: for men. I feel like men are not monogamous unless
Speaker 1: it's a choice. I don't feel like it's a natural
Speaker 1: thing for men like it. It's definitely more natural for women.
Speaker 1: I also feel like for men, they become anogamous when
Speaker 1: they go through a bunch of ships and they like,
Speaker 1: you know, they gotta get it out their system. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well no, I mean when there's some life changing things happen,
Speaker 1: they realize people not in their corner, like they think,
Speaker 1: almost died. But what about what about person was there
Speaker 1: for me? But what about the men who are monogamous
Speaker 1: because there are many rooms there are on what was
Speaker 1: that about? Is that just because of maybe their upbringing
Speaker 1: or their beliefs? I think so, yeah, because men are
Speaker 1: not just one way, you know, yeah, just like women
Speaker 1: aren't at all. And again I'm going back to the
Speaker 1: global thing, you know, meeting men around the world. A
Speaker 1: lot of the men that I've met that are really
Speaker 1: truly monogamous is because they've been And um, let's talk
Speaker 1: about like I said, Synegal, which is a Muslim country
Speaker 1: I visited during Ramadan, and they were praying four times
Speaker 1: a day. That man has been praying since that way,
Speaker 1: since he was ten years old. This is what I'm talking.
Speaker 1: He's going to be a different man at twenty five
Speaker 1: than you know, a man from Chattanooga. So not not
Speaker 1: more or less, just different. Different, and so so again
Speaker 1: he's raised with a certain level of and and women
Speaker 1: my girlfriend and he's Pujabi, and I've been lead that
Speaker 1: a lot of the way, a lot of his ways
Speaker 1: come from his culture and his face. Absolutely, that's how
Speaker 1: That's what I feel. I feel like, like getting back
Speaker 1: to the question, like, if you want, you know, try
Speaker 1: to go to church, you know, figure out what religion
Speaker 1: you want to do, and find that discipline and yourself
Speaker 1: to honor something or make this woman your church prioritize
Speaker 1: her honor and you won't cheat. If you have respect
Speaker 1: for yourself and your priorities, you won't cheat it. And
Speaker 1: I feel like and I feel like men of men
Speaker 1: who honor God, it's more likely that they're gonna honor you.
Speaker 1: It's just a higher possibility, yes, because there's a different
Speaker 1: level of values and morals and um and a different
Speaker 1: level of discipline and focus. How do you feel about
Speaker 1: like a guy being all up under you all the time?
Speaker 1: Do you like that or do you not like it?
Speaker 1: Like I love it to like hate it? Same because
Speaker 1: I'm hella clingy and affectionate and I'm taying all times
Speaker 1: we got a whole hands and I'm like, but then
Speaker 1: but then I want to I want my space. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but then we haven't been in my house, I'm going home.
Speaker 1: Everywhere you go, he wants to go with you. And
Speaker 1: you know, if you're in the house, he's like all
Speaker 1: up in whatever room you're in, he's right there with you.
Speaker 1: He's texting you all day if you're not there, always
Speaker 1: checking in. I think there's levels because because I'm definitely clingy, right, Like,
Speaker 1: I want someone that does pay attention to me, that
Speaker 1: does communicate, because there are men that barely will text you,
Speaker 1: and you crave that, right, You crave that attention and
Speaker 1: that affection and just that intimacy. So I think as
Speaker 1: long as you have your own thing going on, and
Speaker 1: you're able to have your friends and your life, you're
Speaker 1: making your money, but you want to be around me,
Speaker 1: that's going to turn me on more now if you
Speaker 1: I did. When I was younger, I was dating someone
Speaker 1: like that, and I felt like I started going to college.
Speaker 1: I was, you know, hanging with my friends, doing a
Speaker 1: lot of things, and he just wanted to be a
Speaker 1: super home body, which I wasn't upset about. But then
Speaker 1: he wasn't going to school. He was kind of lazy
Speaker 1: in so many areas, and that's when I kind of
Speaker 1: was like, all right, Like I can't be elevating in
Speaker 1: this way, and you're kind of stagnant in that way.
Speaker 1: We're growing apart, So in that sense it's not good.
Speaker 1: But if you love me and want to spend time
Speaker 1: with me, but you still got your life, I love that.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna my bucket list. But it's not just sex.
Speaker 1: It's not just I would love to find a man
Speaker 1: that is as complex and as diverse in what he
Speaker 1: likes and what I like life life wise, not just sex,
Speaker 1: but life wise. Like I said, I have everything, like
Speaker 1: different foods, you know, guys who don't be like going
Speaker 1: to try. Oh I don't eat Indian food though I
Speaker 1: don't eat all of that. Yeah, yeah, please come in
Speaker 1: Africa with me talking about worst KFC. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So so so that's all my bucket list,
Speaker 1: to actually find someone who is as diverse and complex
Speaker 1: and respecting of it and turned on by it like
Speaker 1: I am, so that we can enjoy so much. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and girl, and I want to learn from you too,
Speaker 1: because I don't want to be the one that's always
Speaker 1: bringing up. Let me ask you this, have you ever
Speaker 1: dated a guy who was so good on paper and
Speaker 1: you wanted to like him? And you just couldn't. That's
Speaker 1: the story of my life. I mean, that's the story
Speaker 1: of my life. Well, and he was we were talking
Speaker 1: on another episode. We talked about like, when was the
Speaker 1: last time you were impressed? And I thought about it.
Speaker 1: I didn't answer it, and I thought about it. And
Speaker 1: the last guy who really impressed me perfect on paper,
Speaker 1: swept me off my feet, but the real him was
Speaker 1: just trash. It's harder now with social media and he's
Speaker 1: car but he got like something, there's a tick in
Speaker 1: his brain. That's something good person. I love him to stuf,
Speaker 1: God bless him, but it's just a sick in his brain.
Speaker 1: How much of that list is your sexual attraction? Like
Speaker 1: for me, I'm not. I'm not just the physical attractor anymore.
Speaker 1: Like he can be fine and sexy, but they're still
Speaker 1: gotta you gotta make me laugh. Yeah, there's got to
Speaker 1: be something more than you just fine and what you
Speaker 1: could be fine, and I could not be sexually attracted
Speaker 1: to you, and you could be like, well other people
Speaker 1: might say funny looking, and I could be attracted to you.
Speaker 1: It's just what you like. Yeah, Yeah, there's gotta be
Speaker 1: it's it's it's personality and characteristics and just chemistry for
Speaker 1: me because I feel like intelligent and s's a humor
Speaker 1: go hand in hand for somebody to be smart and funny,
Speaker 1: Like if you're to be really funny, you have to
Speaker 1: be really smart too. That I feel like, yes, because
Speaker 1: a lot of men don't understand that that intellectual turn
Speaker 1: on it. I mean, it's brain for me. I need
Speaker 1: to be mentally stimulated. Of course, I like to learn
Speaker 1: from my man. But when I was when I was
Speaker 1: out to have a six pack, when I was, yeah,
Speaker 1: definitely definitely needs a man with stomachs um. When I
Speaker 1: was saying with these past two years. During that time,
Speaker 1: I briefly dated a guy and I had to like
Speaker 1: fall back from him because of his lack of intelligence
Speaker 1: that only last for so long, Like that was the
Speaker 1: thing with him. He just was the dummy, And I
Speaker 1: was just like, I'm way too smart, I'm way too intelligence.
Speaker 1: Why don't they know that though? Why don't they know?
Speaker 1: Why do they think it's other things? Like I've had
Speaker 1: men think oh, because I didn't have enough money. No,
Speaker 1: it's because intellectually we weren't weren't not that smart. Well,
Speaker 1: they know they're diating a smart woman but they don't
Speaker 1: know that they I think most guys think they're smart,
Speaker 1: even if they're not. Thing. It's an ego thing. Girl.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying this guy thought he was smart. He
Speaker 1: probably watched it, so I don't want to say too much,
Speaker 1: but he would but he would ask me like general
Speaker 1: knowledge questions like well, what is that up? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: how do you not know that? There's certain things that
Speaker 1: turned me off, like I definitely want a guy that
Speaker 1: has a great personality, like I need mental stimulation, because again,
Speaker 1: you could be attractive when you could be dumb, I
Speaker 1: would be like, not funny, uninteresting. There was this one
Speaker 1: guy I was seeing and it was a super casual situation.
Speaker 1: But I'm private about my ship, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't need to go out there and tell nobody
Speaker 1: on with you. I don't I'm a grown woman, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. We can have our situation. And
Speaker 1: I didn't like the fact that he kind of was
Speaker 1: like out there about us, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like we wasn't exclusive, but but he was saty. Don't
Speaker 1: be chatty because that's a turn off. How do you know,
Speaker 1: I want people to know with you? You know, he
Speaker 1: was proud. I love that kind of like he was proud.
Speaker 1: It wasn't even necessarily proud. I think it was boastful.
Speaker 1: I think it was ego. I think it was arrogant,
Speaker 1: like you know something, will be like, yeah, don't don't.
Speaker 1: I'm quick to cut you off because how you want
Speaker 1: people don't know? I know you would you lying and
Speaker 1: be like no, it depends like I don't ever mind
Speaker 1: being honest. But that's what I mean. We're both in
Speaker 1: the situation. So you're a part of this story, so
Speaker 1: you have your own narrative. But who's to say I
Speaker 1: want you to be spreading my information on my business,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And then in a way
Speaker 1: where I don't know how you're saying it, so I
Speaker 1: know how people are taking look at me, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. That's and then people coming in with
Speaker 1: the wrong interpretation, and he's just like, turn off, goodbye. Dick.
Speaker 1: Wasn't even that great, Okay. So I do think intelligence
Speaker 1: and sense of humor like right at the top. But
Speaker 1: attraction does matter. And when I say attraction, it doesn't
Speaker 1: necessarily mean you gotta have a six pack, right, right,
Speaker 1: that's definitely right, But I have to be attracted to
Speaker 1: you and somebody, and there's certain things I'm attracted to physically,
Speaker 1: Like I like a guy he don't have to have
Speaker 1: a six pack, but I tend to like guys who
Speaker 1: are more lean six pack. She's like, I don't, but
Speaker 1: I don't even like guys are really buff and must
Speaker 1: feel like that. I don't like big guys period. Like
Speaker 1: I like guys that are kind of like you like
Speaker 1: the lean muscle, not the chunky. Yeah. I like guys
Speaker 1: who are just lean and then physically that's what I'm
Speaker 1: attracted to. I I actually am more attracted to the
Speaker 1: chunky guys. Believe it or not. Most people are surprised
Speaker 1: because I'm so into fitness and he'll be living there. Like, really,
Speaker 1: you like the chunky guy. I mean he has more
Speaker 1: to talk about. Most time, he's funny. You know, he's
Speaker 1: not about him. I mean a lot of times the muscle,
Speaker 1: the muscle guys. It's like, you know, once you talk
Speaker 1: about how you workout was today, there's that intellectual thing.
Speaker 1: It's like what we're gonna talk about talk about? It's
Speaker 1: not a lot else happening, but you know what time
Speaker 1: you're working out tomorrow. See that's not fair because you
Speaker 1: work out all the time. I work out enough for
Speaker 1: both of us to talk about. But thank god I
Speaker 1: got other ship to talk about. Right, It's not just
Speaker 1: about fitness and that's they've been working out. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: definitely guys like if they're super into fitness and they're
Speaker 1: like buff, that gets to their heads. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: My ex boyfriend had to go to the gym every
Speaker 1: single day and one year on my birthday, he was
Speaker 1: he was dying. I was like, Okay, what time are
Speaker 1: we going? He was like, well, you know after where
Speaker 1: I got in, you're not going to skip the gym
Speaker 1: for one day to take me out. It was leg day. Okay.
Speaker 1: I was so haritated. I was like, but he was
Speaker 1: he was not playing, like he really did go to
Speaker 1: the gym every single day and you're not going to
Speaker 1: skip the gym on my birthday so that we can
Speaker 1: go out earlier because I have to get up early
Speaker 1: for work. You know. It's so so I want to
Speaker 1: hear like, Okay, you're your your body. They don't have
Speaker 1: to be buff. No, what's your favorite body part? Well,
Speaker 1: besides that peanuts like hands? Yeah, I like arms, I
Speaker 1: like a little like you know, you can see a
Speaker 1: little like the shoulder shoulder suit, but but right that
Speaker 1: different but even just a strong posture right like where
Speaker 1: you have like a good chest, good shoulders. You know, Like,
Speaker 1: have you ever did a guy who had like no
Speaker 1: ask at all, like his ask because I gotta have
Speaker 1: like a little you know, a little something something they
Speaker 1: do spots day with athletic body types, but sometimes you
Speaker 1: find that, you know, they just don't have asked jeans.
Speaker 1: So it's like like their genetics and the ass area.
Speaker 1: It is just like a muscle and it's small and
Speaker 1: it's high and it's not but it can't be like
Speaker 1: a soggy I'm not gonna I've never been with anybody
Speaker 1: with a saw. I not that's I'm not into like
Speaker 1: looking at guy's asses. But there's definitely been a couple
Speaker 1: of guys in the past where they had, you know,
Speaker 1: like some structure and I was like, okay, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'll never forget the first time, the first time I
Speaker 1: was with a guy who just came out of jail, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's just like seven years. You know that his body
Speaker 1: was crazy. You know what I like, you know what
Speaker 1: I like on the man no, but listen, listen. The
Speaker 1: first time we have sex, he did these incredible acrobatic
Speaker 1: moves on me. I was like, wow, he me on
Speaker 1: the bed and I'm just there like dead, like lying,
Speaker 1: and he goes to get the rag and I'm watching
Speaker 1: him as he goes to the bathroom, and I was
Speaker 1: like because his body was like a statue, like he
Speaker 1: had those muscular thought yes, his back was. I was like,
Speaker 1: and when he came back out to like put my job,
Speaker 1: like you again, gootiful? Can you go rint off this room? Like,
Speaker 1: oh look, I threw the drag pott. No. I swear
Speaker 1: he was so let's not skip over that. This is
Speaker 1: one of my first boyfriends. Is the first person I
Speaker 1: ever was engaged to. He he told the first person
Speaker 1: I ever say to. It's a crazy description this this
Speaker 1: per no. But and I was a kid and he um.
Speaker 1: He used to bring me breakfast and bad he used
Speaker 1: to He taught me how to cook. He used to
Speaker 1: cook for me all the time we used to be
Speaker 1: having sex and give me four head kisses. I swear,
Speaker 1: I swear he was so. He was so catering, like
Speaker 1: he was just so grateful with some be with somebody
Speaker 1: who had never been with too many guys like you
Speaker 1: could sell like I was really young, and he felt
Speaker 1: like I was really pure. He just wanted to treat
Speaker 1: me really good. For like three months. That night he
Speaker 1: became yeah, for like three months. Then he became really ambusus.
Speaker 1: But listen, I know we have to go back. I
Speaker 1: question tell us no. One of the questions I was
Speaker 1: gonna ask, is is there anything that you are afraid
Speaker 1: to say that is really your truth with with your
Speaker 1: when you're with someone or just period and you're life
Speaker 1: when you're really with somebody. Is there anything like you've
Speaker 1: been a long term relationship? Is there anything you're afraid
Speaker 1: to say to tell her husband? And she likes, like
Speaker 1: like that something I'm afraid to tell the guys that
Speaker 1: I date. You know, I just switched and when i'm
Speaker 1: I'm even the guy I was with last It was
Speaker 1: an on and off thing, like you said, for five years,
Speaker 1: six years almost, and I'm scared to tell him I
Speaker 1: want to get married really because I'm not sure if
Speaker 1: I want to marry him, and I'm definitely not sure
Speaker 1: if I want to marry the new one, But it's
Speaker 1: like I do want to get married and it's something
Speaker 1: that I feel like I should be able to do.
Speaker 1: But that's the thing, and I don't watch. I don't
Speaker 1: want to bring up that conversation. And then this this
Speaker 1: man thinks that I want to marry him. If you
Speaker 1: tell the guy I want to get married, he's so
Speaker 1: I can't have that conversation. Is it with everybody that
Speaker 1: you date? Or are you afraid to talk about with
Speaker 1: my acts? We have spoken about marriage because he brought
Speaker 1: it up because he wanted he's talking about it, and
Speaker 1: I'll be like, Okay, we'll have this conversation, but it's
Speaker 1: not I don't ever want it because I don't want
Speaker 1: them to get nervous like, oh, she just wants to
Speaker 1: get married, she's trying to get me to marry her.
Speaker 1: Or I don't want to. I don't right, and I
Speaker 1: don't ring from you. I don't want to get married.
Speaker 1: I didn't mean tomorrow like you should tell somebody you
Speaker 1: want to get married and listen to them, right, But
Speaker 1: I mean I generally want to get married. I just
Speaker 1: don't know to who yet. How about you? Is this
Speaker 1: something that you're afraid to say? Um? I think for
Speaker 1: me in general, it's probably expressing my needs in a relationship,
Speaker 1: whatever that is, because I think I'm honestly, I'm used
Speaker 1: to just settling for what I get because I've never
Speaker 1: actually seen I've never actually seen what true love is,
Speaker 1: you know, So I deal with what comes with the
Speaker 1: bullshit and I kind of try to like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: and you know, being single and going through a self
Speaker 1: love journey of myself, I've realized like I have to
Speaker 1: be honest about what I need, like if I want monogamy,
Speaker 1: if I want this or that, I have to not
Speaker 1: be afraid to express it, because why am I afraid
Speaker 1: to say what I need in order to just deal
Speaker 1: with the bare minimum and be I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: letting somebody have sex with you, you should be able
Speaker 1: to tell them for sure. And I think it's just fear, right,
Speaker 1: I think subconsciously it's fear of rejection or fear of
Speaker 1: somebody maybe not being able to give you what you want.
Speaker 1: But we're not wanting to. But I've learned that if
Speaker 1: you don't want you, then you're not the person for me,
Speaker 1: because I feel like you got to lay it out
Speaker 1: there and be like, if our needs are not aligned
Speaker 1: and I am not still gonna work with you or not.
Speaker 1: And I think I've gotten better at that, right because
Speaker 1: I've gotten more confident in just like, Okay, if you're
Speaker 1: not the person, you're not the person, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like I'm changing the narrative for myself. So yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's you know, it's been while because again I've
Speaker 1: never had those like real experiences of what true love
Speaker 1: and relations, real good relationships are, you know. So I've
Speaker 1: kind of just settled for whatever I could get because
Speaker 1: this is how men are, or this is what we
Speaker 1: should settle for as women. Say. Now I'm like, funk
Speaker 1: that if you can't give me what I need, you
Speaker 1: gotta go because I'm no longer settling and being unhappy
Speaker 1: but giving you what you want. That's the mentality that
Speaker 1: led to our conversation first time. It's like, no more settling,
Speaker 1: no more settling, no more sacrifice. If you can't handle
Speaker 1: what my truth is, then that just means we're great friends.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we can't be more than that. If you
Speaker 1: if my if my truth upsets you, intimidates you, or
Speaker 1: makes you feel any kind of way outside of wanting
Speaker 1: to help please me, then what do we have? Because
Speaker 1: we have to accept men's truth, right, like not have to,
Speaker 1: but that's what society has painted on us. And I
Speaker 1: feel like we're better at it accepting. I do too, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're better at it. We're like, okay, we at it,
Speaker 1: you know, settling no more? All right, So that's the goal,
Speaker 1: No more settling, no more, No more settling, no more.
Speaker 1: And that I don't know if we should tell Stephanie
Speaker 1: to express that she wants to get married or not,
Speaker 1: but I vote, unless that's who you want to marry,
Speaker 1: just keep it going right, right. But I think just
Speaker 1: the idea of marriage in general, what you want, right.
Speaker 1: You're not essentially saying that that's the person you want
Speaker 1: to marry, but that's what you see for your future,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But and and that's um
Speaker 1: because I feel if he proposed to you and you
Speaker 1: don't want to marry him because he thinks that's what
Speaker 1: you want, and that's how I try to deliver that news. Like,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. I feel like in my previous relationships,
Speaker 1: I was too cool, you know, like accepting bullshit, too
Speaker 1: too nice about too forgiving. And I don't think there's
Speaker 1: anything wrong with forgiving. I think forgiving is very needed
Speaker 1: for everything. You can't stay upset with people. But I
Speaker 1: just feel like now I'm not on that now. It's
Speaker 1: it's more like I'm doing all of this for myself.
Speaker 1: What you got, you know, And if you ain't, if
Speaker 1: you don't have, if you don't have anything to bring
Speaker 1: to my table, because it's my table we're talking about here,
Speaker 1: then you're not invited. You can't exactly, you can't you
Speaker 1: have that right bring the tables, like just you know,
Speaker 1: I just I don't feel like at this point when
Speaker 1: I even start with with guys, I'm right at the door,
Speaker 1: like what what you what? What are we doing? Like,
Speaker 1: because we're not gonna just be hanging out in the house.
Speaker 1: Are we going on vacations or not? If not, I'm cool.
Speaker 1: I'd rather just be by myself anymore. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: my boyfriend be like scared to mess up with me,
Speaker 1: Like he'd be nervous and scared to mess up. When
Speaker 1: you lay down your rules, people have no choice. That's
Speaker 1: love and respect when you're when you're afraid to to
Speaker 1: mess up with somebody, fraid to light to them, fraid
Speaker 1: to I mean, that's that's love, respect and honor. Like
Speaker 1: you said, I love that I let him know. I
Speaker 1: thought you were tired of walking on eggshells, you know,
Speaker 1: But I'm you know, I'm super chill. But I do
Speaker 1: feel like, because I'm so chill, when I get mad,
Speaker 1: I get so mad that it's like sometimes there's no
Speaker 1: going back because I'm not I'm not like I don't
Speaker 1: get mad at little things, and I let a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff slide. But if you try it too much,
Speaker 1: it's like to the point in the return. So we
Speaker 1: got to do this retreat. I know. Listen, we're planning it.
Speaker 1: Details to come, yes, okay, because a j and Live
Speaker 1: Service are going to be doing a joint retreat for
Speaker 1: us all. And like we said, every woman bring two men. Didn't.
Speaker 1: But I do appreciate you so much because I know
Speaker 1: you just got back from your retreat and St. Thomas
Speaker 1: and I know we wanted to address this because this
Speaker 1: was going crazy if he wanted you earlier, you know,
Speaker 1: on social media. But I do appreciate you for being
Speaker 1: honest and being being able to express yourself no matter
Speaker 1: what idiots have to say about it online. And it
Speaker 1: did open up a conversation. And I love seeing the
Speaker 1: support from people like that part. I love but I
Speaker 1: also know that a lot of judgment comes in doing
Speaker 1: what we do and I'm used to it. I'm up
Speaker 1: for it. You know. I see people commenting on the
Speaker 1: why are y'all talking about this? Well, guess what. Sex
Speaker 1: is a huge part of society. How did you not
Speaker 1: talk about And it's helping somebody. Yeah, it's helping somebody
Speaker 1: and it's fun. Like, honestly, there's nothing wrong with having
Speaker 1: a good time having the discussions that we have had
Speaker 1: these conversations with my friends, not on you know, not
Speaker 1: on the service, on live service, and so we are
Speaker 1: not ashamed to discuss these and how many people have
Speaker 1: don't have these conversations in private and are afraid to
Speaker 1: have them in public because they're afraid to be shamed.
Speaker 1: For a lot of my friends that I wasn't having
Speaker 1: with them and they were like, you know, now they
Speaker 1: want to talk to me. That's a plus. And I'm
Speaker 1: sure there's a lot of women who are now wanting
Speaker 1: to talk I know, I my dms are full of
Speaker 1: women want to talk about it. Retreats fault. So I
Speaker 1: think it's so so I think it's it's great that
Speaker 1: we that together we open up the conversation and thank
Speaker 1: you for having me back to continue. We love you
Speaker 1: back again. Listen right when you see here, miss Bee,
Speaker 1: gonna learn how to square. If you've never dine here,
Speaker 1: sex have a class, you sign up class squirt from
Speaker 1: a guy with a six pass. Sex back, honey, and
Speaker 1: if you is my cold teacher, right, you're going to swallow.
Speaker 1: We're planning this, so let's get it together the time.
Speaker 1: Miss A J. Johnson always a pleasure on live service. Yes,