Speaker 1: My question is in regard to the podcast that you
Speaker 1: had in early April. The topic of the question you're
Speaker 1: answering was suicide, and I was wondering your opinion on this.
Speaker 1: Is the trauma people may experience in life that leads
Speaker 1: to suicide, perhaps more trauma to the soul than it
Speaker 1: is to the brain. I know. I've struggled with suicide
Speaker 1: a few different times in my life over the years,
Speaker 1: and the only way I got through those times was
Speaker 1: by leaning into God and by being out in nature.
Speaker 1: Looking back. For me, I believe it was damaging to
Speaker 1: the soul, but that's just me. I don't know. Hopefully
Speaker 1: diving into this question may help a listener out there
Speaker 1: somewhere back on the podcast. This is episode ninety two
Speaker 1: and you've done like eighty of them special guests. Do
Speaker 1: you have big plans for number one hundred? I was
Speaker 1: just thinking about that yesterday. Actually, I don't know what
Speaker 1: what it would be, but I think we should do something.
Speaker 1: It should be are you able to get more people
Speaker 1: around the table now that you've got this round table?
Speaker 1: Maybe we should do multiple like you and Amber and
Speaker 1: Bernie and Parker. Yeah, and do like the All Star
Speaker 1: Cast let's do it. That's a great idea, number one hundred,
Speaker 1: number one. I'm in okay, all right, Chad Warren guest
Speaker 1: back on the podcast today. We are answering your questions
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and we'll answer
Speaker 1: whatever you have like a campfire setting Montana chats for
Speaker 1: Montana's we'll do it like a Montana campfire setting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you are, what's the process on your podcast? So
Speaker 1: we've got kind of all this stuff set up. We're
Speaker 1: going to start to record some We're gonna have you
Speaker 1: and kind of have some other people come in record things,
Speaker 1: get get it all squared away, get the editing figured out,
Speaker 1: and you know, because we're brand new to this world.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we're gonna hopefully I could see us launching
Speaker 1: in August or September, so early fall, So stay tuned.
Speaker 1: And what this is, this is going to be Chad
Speaker 1: is going to start his own podcast and it is
Speaker 1: going to be the next level from this podcast. So this,
Speaker 1: if this is like answer your questions at a campfire setting,
Speaker 1: then his podcast is going to be. All right, let's
Speaker 1: get deep. Let's get deep thought, and not that we
Speaker 1: don't get deep on this podcast. But this is going
Speaker 1: to be biblically based scriptural base. So read a scripture
Speaker 1: and let's get deep about that scripture. Yep, yeah, in
Speaker 1: a similar format. I mean, we're gonna it's gonna be
Speaker 1: you and I will take a passage of scripture. We'll
Speaker 1: read it, and then how would we I mean how
Speaker 1: do we? Normally when you and I get together, it's
Speaker 1: what are we reading and what is the Lord showing us?
Speaker 1: And we talk about how that starts to trickle into
Speaker 1: all aspects of life and how does it help us
Speaker 1: be better husbands, fathers, and friends. No preparation, right, no
Speaker 1: prep Yeah, besides picking the scripture obviously, Yeah. I mean
Speaker 1: the idea is that you would be able to I mean,
Speaker 1: it's really for if you want to go deeper in
Speaker 1: your own walk with the Lord and just hear some
Speaker 1: people talk about the word and how to just approach
Speaker 1: the scripture. That's one level. If you don't know anything
Speaker 1: about the Bible and you've never even opened it, and
Speaker 1: you thought you know what I at least should know
Speaker 1: what it talks about, this would be a good opportunity
Speaker 1: for you to hear two people who believe it's true
Speaker 1: and talk about it and read it and try to
Speaker 1: understand it. And yeah, and if you want some midweek encouragement,
Speaker 1: then this is a good one for you on your
Speaker 1: way to work. Yeah, if you're at work and you
Speaker 1: need you just want to hear a couple of guys
Speaker 1: talk about the word or gals. We might have some
Speaker 1: gals on the podcast here and we'll stay we'll keep
Speaker 1: that all that up to date on when that's launching
Speaker 1: and details behind that. Yeah, that's true. Today, I wanted
Speaker 1: to start with these questions. I want to kind of
Speaker 1: I found a couple of lighte ones, so I want
Speaker 1: to start with where's the super light? When I saw man?
Speaker 1: I didn't see well, I will start with the one
Speaker 1: called softball question. It says, hey, Gray angel and friend
Speaker 1: of the day, Friend of the day, insert typical comment
Speaker 1: of I'm a huge fan, love of music, lovery podcast,
Speaker 1: in your apparel in the Smiths, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: It says, now the touring is back. I just have
Speaker 1: the question, do you ever get tired of smiling for
Speaker 1: pictures or does your face start to hurt? I got
Speaker 1: married in October with your music playing, of course, and
Speaker 1: my face hurts so bad from smiling after so many
Speaker 1: pictures at my wedding. I love what you do for
Speaker 1: the community. Thank you. That is Kelsey from North Texas.
Speaker 1: When the comment first that I did the same thing
Speaker 1: at my wedding, I remember my face hurting. So I
Speaker 1: don't think it takes being in entertainment business too. But
Speaker 1: you've got all these muscles in your face, and so
Speaker 1: you're working them out, and maybe you do a wedding,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's a one off experience, and you're
Speaker 1: kind of it starts to freeze in place, and you
Speaker 1: wonder if it looks fake because it feels fake, but
Speaker 1: you're still you're smiling big, and you look back at
Speaker 1: those pictures and you go, man, we looked happy. But
Speaker 1: for you, like a weightlifter, like you're lifting those those
Speaker 1: muscles get worked, don't they. I mean, he's got a
Speaker 1: good point because I don't know what, like, just walk
Speaker 1: us through what would it look like to be on
Speaker 1: your hip pocket for the day of a concert. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you've kind of done that a little bit with me.
Speaker 1: But the meet and greet is by far the most
Speaker 1: grueling part of my day. It's also the most fulfilling part.
Speaker 1: That's well, I will meet about one hundred and fifty people,
Speaker 1: and I try to kind of slow down and have
Speaker 1: a get some engagement with every one of them. So
Speaker 1: that is that is the part that sometimes you got
Speaker 1: to be if a guy comes in and he say,
Speaker 1: you got to kind of get up, and then sometimes
Speaker 1: someone's like, I got to tell you something about my grandpa,
Speaker 1: and then you kind of got to get down with
Speaker 1: them and you just kind of ride that emotional roller coaster.
Speaker 1: So that takes its toll, but it's also the most fulfilling.
Speaker 1: And I can't imagine skipping that I actually did during
Speaker 1: the pandemic when we played a few shows there was
Speaker 1: no meet and greets, and my day was pretty meaningless.
Speaker 1: And Chris, my tour manager, and I we quickly noticed
Speaker 1: that although we thought we would be excited with less work,
Speaker 1: of no meet and greets, it made the show just
Speaker 1: kind of blend because you don't have that connection with
Speaker 1: the people. So yeah, maybe the muscles do get well then,
Speaker 1: I imagine, but you're you're a happy guy. Yeah, well
Speaker 1: you're you're a joyful guy, and so I can imagine
Speaker 1: and even getting to be there with you a little
Speaker 1: bit at a recent show. You love to interact with people,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, to some degree, it's probably natural, and
Speaker 1: you just get excited when people are excited, and you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but you probably have like cheekbone muscles that are Yeah.
Speaker 1: I thought that was a hilarious question because I've thought
Speaker 1: about that and people ask me that, and I don't
Speaker 1: really have a true answer. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: could get cheek muscles that could work them out or not.
Speaker 1: But your smile always seems genuine. So that's good. I'm
Speaker 1: glad you say that. Thank you, Kelsey. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: kick it over you, Chad. We're gonna do some We're
Speaker 1: gonna do some reading the subjects and you picking. We
Speaker 1: have a man of the house. We have I'm in
Speaker 1: a predicament. We have Navy or baby. I like the
Speaker 1: rhyme of them struggling with sin, and then we have
Speaker 1: a mister Smith, and I know that mister Smith is
Speaker 1: a lighthearted one. Okay, we'll go man of the House
Speaker 1: and then struggling with Sin. Okay, and we'll see what happens. Okay.
Speaker 1: Man of the House says, dear Grander, just wanted to
Speaker 1: start off and say that ever since my wife introduced
Speaker 1: me to your music when we were dating. You and
Speaker 1: your family and your brothers and everything that EG stands for.
Speaker 1: It's been a huge blessing and inspiration. Thank you, buddy.
Speaker 1: It says, I love how your faith in Christ is
Speaker 1: something that we could see as you lead your family
Speaker 1: as the head of your house, and it inspired me
Speaker 1: to be that for my wife and son. I'm twenty
Speaker 1: eight years old in the Air Force. I'm an Air
Speaker 1: Force veteran, and my wife and son and I recently
Speaker 1: moved back to Texas from being stationed in California. One
Speaker 1: of the ideas that we have when we're in the
Speaker 1: process of moving was to live with my in laws
Speaker 1: because they had the space and we liked the idea
Speaker 1: of not having to pay rent for a little bit.
Speaker 1: When we got settled back in Texas, fast forward nine
Speaker 1: months and we're still living with them, And for me,
Speaker 1: being independent most of my adult life and being in
Speaker 1: the military, I started to feel real resentment towards my
Speaker 1: in laws and the fact that we're still living with
Speaker 1: him for what was supposed to be just a couple
Speaker 1: of months. So how do I, as the man of
Speaker 1: my family, lead my wife and sons spiritually while not
Speaker 1: feeling like I am in constant pissing contest with my
Speaker 1: father in law, who's the leader of his house which
Speaker 1: we reside in. I know, this is just a season
Speaker 1: of my life where my faith is being tested because
Speaker 1: of the fact that I'm living with my in laws.
Speaker 1: But I'm just really struggling with my anger towards them
Speaker 1: and feeling like my wife sometimes doesn't want to move out,
Speaker 1: or when will this all be over? Thank you for
Speaker 1: your time, justin this is one of those where it's
Speaker 1: unfortunate that's an email and like he's not actually sitting
Speaker 1: here around the campfire. I have so many questions and
Speaker 1: want to dig deeper, and so you just have to.
Speaker 1: I mean, he was very thorough though, and included a
Speaker 1: lot of detail, which I think is cool, And at
Speaker 1: first my first impression is that he seems to be
Speaker 1: very aware of himself and his own kind of internal
Speaker 1: frustrations and wrestlings and areas where yes, he is frustrated,
Speaker 1: he's angry, but he also realizes the situation. He seems
Speaker 1: pretty self aware that, yeah, this is his father in
Speaker 1: law's domain, and his father in law is the head
Speaker 1: of his own home, and he is kind of in
Speaker 1: submission to that authority, and rightly so, that would be
Speaker 1: a there's a shelf life on that for sure, that
Speaker 1: would be a frustrating situation after a while. Sounds like
Speaker 1: he needs to go on vacation, to get out of
Speaker 1: the house and go somewhere, go on a trip. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. Justin' you're very validated in all of this
Speaker 1: that you're saying, and like Chad said, it sounds like
Speaker 1: you've been thinking a lot about it. You have some
Speaker 1: good thoughts about it. And with this is not the
Speaker 1: first time we've seen emails from people that are living
Speaker 1: within laws and having problems. It seems to be a
Speaker 1: problem or reoccurring problem because it's a it's a it's
Speaker 1: a nice sounding solution to a young couple, a young
Speaker 1: married couple that goes, well, we're trying to get our
Speaker 1: feet on the ground and get something settled or move
Speaker 1: or maybe we're building a house, or we're in the
Speaker 1: process of going between leases. And I always see these
Speaker 1: problems arise within laws. I've never lived within laws, so
Speaker 1: have you. No, No, I can't. I can't totally relate.
Speaker 1: And I think as I as a student of kind
Speaker 1: of the East and the West, being somebody who obviously
Speaker 1: grew up in the West and what I mean like
Speaker 1: Western civilization, Western culture. But you study Eastern cultures and
Speaker 1: you notice there's a difference in the West, especially in
Speaker 1: the United States of independence, a priority on independent and
Speaker 1: launching and kind of being your on your own, whereas
Speaker 1: you look at other cultures in the Middle East and
Speaker 1: throughout Asia, they're very family centric and so living with
Speaker 1: both sets of parents, this idea that everyone's under the
Speaker 1: same roof, they tend to do it. I mean that
Speaker 1: that works for them, But it's so not American to
Speaker 1: be more common, right, very yeah, a lot more common
Speaker 1: in those circumstances, but it is not common here, and
Speaker 1: so we definitely struggle with it more. And I'm yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm there aren't a lot of patterns to look at
Speaker 1: or examples to to look at where or maybe it's
Speaker 1: so it's so let's just walk through it, Chad. Let's
Speaker 1: walk through it from a biblical standpoint and then from
Speaker 1: a from a friend standpoint. If we were given this
Speaker 1: advice around a campfire, So you have to put it,
Speaker 1: seems to me you have to put a deadline on
Speaker 1: these type things, a hard deadline, and you have to
Speaker 1: be in agreeance with your wife. But in the scenario,
Speaker 1: it feels like the father in law would be the
Speaker 1: man of the house. I mean, it's his house, so
Speaker 1: he is justin You're right in thinking that he is
Speaker 1: technically the man of the house, no matter how you
Speaker 1: look at it, no matter what perspective. Now you are
Speaker 1: you are? How do I say this on the podcast?
Speaker 1: I suddenly got this flash of people getting pissed at
Speaker 1: me when I say, you're the leader of your wife,
Speaker 1: but you are the your wife. Okay, let me flip it.
Speaker 1: Your wife is should be more loyal to you than
Speaker 1: her father because you're married. We'll say it that way.
Speaker 1: That way, I don't have to say any kind of
Speaker 1: weird dominance thing. What I'm meant to say is she
Speaker 1: should be more loyal to you than her father, and
Speaker 1: that happened when you got married. But it puts a
Speaker 1: weird twist on it because you're living under his roof.
Speaker 1: So you understand that. Because you're an air force fat
Speaker 1: you kind of see this. You know about hierarchy and
Speaker 1: you know about the way this works. And so I
Speaker 1: believe that your relationship with them and your anger, all
Speaker 1: that will be restored when you move out right, I
Speaker 1: would think so, I don't think there's going to be
Speaker 1: much long lasting pain, but you got to leave before
Speaker 1: that would potentially happen, because, yeah, you want to leave
Speaker 1: before it spoils. Yeah, And I would imagine too. I
Speaker 1: don't know what the relationship is like with the father
Speaker 1: in law, but need to have open communication with him.
Speaker 1: If you guys were to talk man to man about
Speaker 1: kind of boundaries expectations, there may be a sense in
Speaker 1: which the in laws are frustrated that they're still there too.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but they may be wondering, Hey, what's
Speaker 1: their game plan, when's when they're when are they launching,
Speaker 1: when are they leaving? How long is this going to last?
Speaker 1: Or maybe they're like, we love it our whole families together.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I think that you know, to
Speaker 1: initiate a conversation with my father in law about expectations
Speaker 1: and constantly kind of revisiting that conversation and checking in
Speaker 1: I think would help alleviate tensions. As long as there's
Speaker 1: more and more communication, that's a great point. So as
Speaker 1: an Air Force vet, treated like you're a commanding officer
Speaker 1: and you're going into the commanding officer and said, sir,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm going to give you a couple of deadlines,
Speaker 1: and these are my thoughts. What are your thoughts. I
Speaker 1: think that we should, for various reasons, look at an
Speaker 1: apartment one betterment apartment, and I want to make sure
Speaker 1: our relationship stays strong and just build. And man, that's
Speaker 1: going to cost a lot of money to do that,
Speaker 1: but I think it's worth it. It's worth it. And
Speaker 1: you were in California, so moving to Texas it's already
Speaker 1: going to be way cheaper than that. But I think
Speaker 1: you say, let's see when of them. This email came
Speaker 1: in April, so I'm not sure what has happened, but
Speaker 1: I was probably like, dude, I couldn't last another week.
Speaker 1: I've been out of there for months. Maybe so, but man,
Speaker 1: you gotta if this was happening in real time, I
Speaker 1: would say, you're in like a thirty day know this
Speaker 1: type thing? The shelf life? Yeah, awesome, appreciate you. Justin
Speaker 1: let's go to let's go to this one, says mister Smith.
Speaker 1: In the light of your history degree, do you ever
Speaker 1: consider being did you ever consider being a history teacher?
Speaker 1: Would you have been the quintessential history teacher and football coach.
Speaker 1: Professor Smith funny question, that's that has a good ring?
Speaker 1: I do. I do love history, and I could. I
Speaker 1: could see teaching history, I could. Yeah, music stole my
Speaker 1: heart before any of that could happen. I think I
Speaker 1: probably would have been in the Middle military before I
Speaker 1: did that, or maybe both. Maybe it would have been military,
Speaker 1: come back home, settled down history teacher at the high school,
Speaker 1: and then football. I love the idea of coaching football.
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of things that I would have done.
Speaker 1: I don't believe in anything that would have been because
Speaker 1: it didn't happen. So it just didn't. But what about you?
Speaker 1: Is there anything that is there a path it's a
Speaker 1: young boy that you would have taken outside of the ministry. Yes,
Speaker 1: So I wanted to go into the military. I wanted
Speaker 1: to go into special warfare. My older brother served in
Speaker 1: the Navy for quite a while and he really turned
Speaker 1: me on to the special warfare community and kind of
Speaker 1: helped me picture the you know, the warrior lifestyle. So
Speaker 1: I thought I was going to do that up until
Speaker 1: freshman year of college. I was in an ROTC program
Speaker 1: and just ready to go. And then the Lord word
Speaker 1: intervened and then re routed me. So definitely wanted to
Speaker 1: head that direction. So we're similar in that aspect. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna kick it back to you, Chad, struggling
Speaker 1: with sin? Navy or baby? Did you already say struggling
Speaker 1: with sin? Yeah's jumping to that, says Hey Granger. I
Speaker 1: will remain anonymous. I've been battling with lust and sin,
Speaker 1: and I hope that Pastor Chad is there when you
Speaker 1: see this, because I've been battling with lust and sin
Speaker 1: and wondering what is the best way to stop or
Speaker 1: deal with it. I'm a strong Christian and I know
Speaker 1: it's wrong, but I keep doing it. I feel like
Speaker 1: God won't forgive me anymore because I've done it again
Speaker 1: and again and again. How do I deal with this?
Speaker 1: Sorry for the long question, So we'll keep him anonymous.
Speaker 1: It is is a male theological theologically, we know that
Speaker 1: he will forgive you. Yeah, that's that's the easy question.
Speaker 1: That's the easy the question, yep. And the idea of
Speaker 1: here's something that I learned, and I didn't learn it
Speaker 1: until later in my Christian walk, But this idea of
Speaker 1: Paul says and Paul's an apostle, one of the early
Speaker 1: church leaders. He wrote a letter to a group of
Speaker 1: believers in an area called coloss A. So the Book
Speaker 1: of Colossians is in the New Testament. And it's interesting
Speaker 1: because he he loves to use analogies, and so he says,
Speaker 1: in the same way that you received Christ Jesus, so
Speaker 1: walk in Him, rooted and built up. And as I
Speaker 1: chewed on that verse for quite a while, realized that
Speaker 1: this idea of so I am going to walk in
Speaker 1: Christ in the same way that I received Jesus. And
Speaker 1: we receive Christ, and two things happen. There is an
Speaker 1: acknowledgment of who we are and who Christ is. And
Speaker 1: in that acknowledgment, when we become aware and our eyes
Speaker 1: are opened to this reality, we see our self and
Speaker 1: our sin, and we see Him and his perfection. And
Speaker 1: so we look at the sin and we say that
Speaker 1: sin when we see it for what it is, and
Speaker 1: then we turn from it and trust Him by faith.
Speaker 1: So faith and repentance are the two key ingredients. When
Speaker 1: I first receive Christ, those things are present. And what
Speaker 1: Paul is telling us is, therefore, in the same way
Speaker 1: you receive Christ, Jesus by faith and repentance. So walk
Speaker 1: in Him, rooted and built up. So whatever sin struggle
Speaker 1: you have, one of the things we recognize is once
Speaker 1: we are in Christ, we don't therefore act righteously or
Speaker 1: behave in a christ like way in order to maintain
Speaker 1: our salvation or even to earn more of God's love.
Speaker 1: But it's a response of faith and repentance every day
Speaker 1: that when we see sin bubble up in our lives,
Speaker 1: we go, WHOA, I know, now that's sin, and I
Speaker 1: need to turn from it to Christ. A lot of times,
Speaker 1: I mean, I remember struggling as a young man with
Speaker 1: various temptations in sin, and even today I can get
Speaker 1: caught up in dwelling on the sin itself and going, man,
Speaker 1: don't do that, don't do that, don't do that. But
Speaker 1: as I think and dwell on not doing the sin,
Speaker 1: I'm still dwelling on the sin, and I'm not dwelling
Speaker 1: on Christ's So right, man, anonymous emailer, I'll say your
Speaker 1: question that might be the oldest question that mankind has
Speaker 1: ever had. It's very common. You're not alone. You were
Speaker 1: asking one of the top five most common questions that
Speaker 1: any man has said I'm not, so I'm not suitable
Speaker 1: for God, and so is he going to forgive me?
Speaker 1: Like the crazy thing about Christianity is it really happens
Speaker 1: in the opposite way. It's the only one of the
Speaker 1: major religions that happens in the opposite way most most people,
Speaker 1: almost I think every religion other than Christianity is clean
Speaker 1: yourself up and then go present yourself to God. Christianity
Speaker 1: is go to God and He will clean you up.
Speaker 1: And it's even. It starts with you need to realize
Speaker 1: how unclean you really are. And they start with this, Wow,
Speaker 1: Chad sitting here behind this microphone, we're buddy, in God's eyes,
Speaker 1: we're not any better than you. We're all we're all
Speaker 1: wretched and uh and inherently we're we're sinners. And so
Speaker 1: what you're doing, here's here's what I could. Here's what
Speaker 1: Chad said. Let me say what Chad said. Instead of
Speaker 1: trying to quit doing something, instead of trying to move
Speaker 1: backwards and stop, instead move forwards towards God, and don't
Speaker 1: worry about stopping, because He's going to stop it for you.
Speaker 1: And it's a crazy thing if you are aligned with him.
Speaker 1: And so how do you be aligned with him. Well,
Speaker 1: starts with the Bible. It starts with It starts with
Speaker 1: praying and reading and praying. Part of your prayer is
Speaker 1: that when you read, you'll understand and that it will
Speaker 1: those words will matter to you the way that they should.
Speaker 1: They're inspired, divine words, and you want to pray God.
Speaker 1: I'm about to open this book and I got all
Speaker 1: this sin going on, and I know, I know it's
Speaker 1: not good, but I can't stop it. And God's thinking,
Speaker 1: I know you can't stop it. You're not supposed to
Speaker 1: be able to. That's the crazy thing that most people miss.
Speaker 1: You can't unless you have him. Then he could stop
Speaker 1: it for you. How does he stop it? Does he sin?
Speaker 1: Lightning bullets? Not really, he could, but he starts controlling
Speaker 1: your want to. He starts making you think, ugh, I
Speaker 1: don't really want to do that, this lustful thing that
Speaker 1: I've been doing, that I'm addicted to doing. And then
Speaker 1: the more and more I read the word, the more
Speaker 1: I pray, the more I listen to him, the less
Speaker 1: I want to do it. So it's not about trying
Speaker 1: to quit, and that's hard to quit something. It's hard.
Speaker 1: It's more about I just don't care anymore. And what
Speaker 1: you're describing is there is one affection that begins to
Speaker 1: drive out another affection. Right, one desire gets driven out
Speaker 1: by another desire, because I mean, we all have temptations,
Speaker 1: we have appetites and hunger for sin without Christ, and
Speaker 1: when Christ comes into our life, we see something that's better.
Speaker 1: But we don't always have that in clear view. We
Speaker 1: don't always see Christ for who he is and how
Speaker 1: much better he is and the life that he offers,
Speaker 1: and how much better it is. And so as we
Speaker 1: pursue him and seek him, what you're describing is that
Speaker 1: that we start to push out that desire, and our
Speaker 1: appetite and our desire for Christ pushes out our desire
Speaker 1: for these other things that are just far less. They're fake,
Speaker 1: they're empty, they can't actually fulfill, they're very temporary, and
Speaker 1: the usually they actually take away what we want rather
Speaker 1: than fulfill what we want. They actually make a greater
Speaker 1: deficit in the desire that we have, and so it
Speaker 1: doesn't fulfill. And so it's interesting that you talk about
Speaker 1: that consumer and you and I our friendship started over
Speaker 1: a conversation around fasting, and you think that that's one
Speaker 1: of the rare biblical kind of practices that is not
Speaker 1: really talked about a lot. I mean it's gaining pop
Speaker 1: popularity now in like health circles and fitness for innernat fasting,
Speaker 1: and people are seeing the benefits. But before it was
Speaker 1: seen as a health benefit, it's always been a biblical
Speaker 1: concept that God assumed his people would do because it
Speaker 1: was a gift to them. That you're in fasting your desire,
Speaker 1: You're stoking the fires of one hunger, which is for God,
Speaker 1: and allowing that hunger to drive out other things. And
Speaker 1: one of my mentors, an older pastor early in my
Speaker 1: time as a pastor, he encouraged me to take on
Speaker 1: regular fasting. And I'm not talking about social media fasting,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm talking about fasting from food because one
Speaker 1: of the base desires we have is food, and so
Speaker 1: if we can keep that hunger at bay, we see
Speaker 1: great success in other hungers. And your own story about
Speaker 1: fasting and the way that that played a role in
Speaker 1: your your life as a musician on the road touring
Speaker 1: and what it's done, I think is a sweet story
Speaker 1: you need to tell. Yeah. Yeah, And Chad and I
Speaker 1: have talked about fasting together is a big deal. To
Speaker 1: have that accountability. So to this email or fasting is
Speaker 1: actually a good idea. I don't know how old he is.
Speaker 1: I don't want to recommend it. If he's twelve years old,
Speaker 1: thirteen years old, I hope I don't think he is.
Speaker 1: But yeah that I think. Here's your deal tonight. You
Speaker 1: just pray. You just say God. I mess up. I
Speaker 1: mess up every day and I can't. I can't seem
Speaker 1: to stop it. This fleshly desire, this worldly desire, just
Speaker 1: fall right back into this pattern. And I've tried and
Speaker 1: I can't take it from me. You take it, You
Speaker 1: take it, and I'm going to lean into you. And
Speaker 1: when I feel this way, I'm gonna say this prayer again.
Speaker 1: And then I'm gonna open up my Bible. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: start somewhere in the goth And I know that people
Speaker 1: say this is crazy and the Bible can't be read,
Speaker 1: and it's weird, it's it's it doesn't even make any sense.
Speaker 1: But I'm going to find me a good one. And
Speaker 1: I'm going to start right here at John One. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna start reading it, and then if I don't understand it,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say God, I'll understand this, Help me understand
Speaker 1: it and lean into him. Start stop thinking about going
Speaker 1: back and cleaning up yourself. You can't lean into him
Speaker 1: and keep throwing that prayer up. There also some practical
Speaker 1: things I talk with young guys, and this is stuff
Speaker 1: that I put in place when I was younger and
Speaker 1: wrestling with similar stuff, and that is you, first of all,
Speaker 1: have to identify what are the conditions around which that
Speaker 1: temptation comes. What's the trigger? What is it something you see?
Speaker 1: Is it something on your social media? Is it watching
Speaker 1: a certain show? Is it when you see certain people?
Speaker 1: But identify what's that trigger point and try to off
Speaker 1: that source. Try to be mindful before that temptation comes.
Speaker 1: How can you set yourself up to avoid that or
Speaker 1: to stop that, you know, from coming into play. Also,
Speaker 1: have somebody that you can talk openly about this stuff with.
Speaker 1: The deep lie that we believe is that I can't
Speaker 1: share this with anybody because if I did, everyone would
Speaker 1: stop being my friend or they wouldn't want to be
Speaker 1: around me. And the enemy wins when we keep it
Speaker 1: in the dark. But when we expose this kind of
Speaker 1: dark sin into the light, it stops having power. And
Speaker 1: it's the teeth are taken out of it when it
Speaker 1: starts to be exposed. And so find somebody you can
Speaker 1: kind of be openly able to confess this to and
Speaker 1: talk with and that they're going to hold you accountable
Speaker 1: and not somebody that's just going to go, hey, I understand, buddy,
Speaker 1: you know, but somebody's going to go, hey, okay, what's
Speaker 1: your plan? How we going to work through this? And
Speaker 1: even if it's just me and Chad, yep, that's right,
Speaker 1: email back and we'll wrap it up with this fasting
Speaker 1: because fasting. Everything we've said this is fasting is a
Speaker 1: good practice for all this because one of the many
Speaker 1: benefits of it spiritual fasting is every time you feel hungry,
Speaker 1: you say God, it reminds you, you go, God, I
Speaker 1: hunger for you. You You alone, fulfill me, you alone, satisfied me,
Speaker 1: You alone make me feel whole. And then your stomach
Speaker 1: growls and you feel it again and you get to
Speaker 1: practice it all over again, and it fasting. When you're
Speaker 1: fasting with food, it represents anything else that the world
Speaker 1: makes you crave. And it could represent anything. It could
Speaker 1: represent the lust that you're talking about, or it could
Speaker 1: be alcohol, could be anything that you need, and then
Speaker 1: you you fast with food because it's so easy to do.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's not easy. It's so common because
Speaker 1: you eat every day, so it's just it's like clockwork.
Speaker 1: You just you start missing a couple of meals and
Speaker 1: your body screams at you and goes, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: Feed me? You always feed me. Now you're not feeding me.
Speaker 1: And that's speaking as if it's any other kind of
Speaker 1: addiction of the world. And you go, no, your brain,
Speaker 1: you use your mind, and your mind calms you and goes, no, God,
Speaker 1: you alone, satisfy me. Now, don't get stupid with this
Speaker 1: and go for forty days or anything. Guys, Yeah, it
Speaker 1: starts slow. Would start slow. And what I recommend is
Speaker 1: when I talk about fasting with new believers or people
Speaker 1: just starting out, is take if you're a breakfast eater,
Speaker 1: just take that first day and instead of breakfast, go
Speaker 1: find a place where it's quiet and you can be
Speaker 1: without distraction and either throw some headphones in and listen
Speaker 1: to some worship music or spend some time praying asking
Speaker 1: the Lord for help. But instead of eating, take the
Speaker 1: time you would normally eat to be with the Lord.
Speaker 1: Read the scripture worship Him. And then if you've done
Speaker 1: it over one meal, and next time, you want to
Speaker 1: try doing it for breakfast and lunch and so on.
Speaker 1: So forarth, start building that muscle memory around fasting, because
Speaker 1: there's nothing that God has provided us quite like fasting
Speaker 1: that fosters humility better than that good stuff. We'll take
Speaker 1: a break, be right back. Podcast has brought to you
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Speaker 1: back to you. Kept Navy or baby Bible question finding friends,
Speaker 1: brain or soul. I'm in a predicament and no subject? Man, Well,
Speaker 1: we already kind of spoke to an air Force question.
Speaker 1: We definitely got into the Bible a little bit. What's
Speaker 1: no subject? That's kind of one of these behind door
Speaker 1: number says. I'm a twelve year old boy who hunts ducks,
Speaker 1: goose hunts, archery, deer hunts, squirrel hunts, rabbit hunts. I
Speaker 1: also make and sell duck calls, ride four wheelers, love bass, fishing, woodworking, taxidermy,
Speaker 1: and make most of the stuff that I want I make. However,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of lost now after my grandpa, who got
Speaker 1: me into hunting, passed away a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: I really just have no idea what to do now,
Speaker 1: and I kind of feel like I don't have much
Speaker 1: else to try, and I feel like everything I do,
Speaker 1: I just get mad at myself. And every day I
Speaker 1: don't do anything productive. And one thing my grandpa would
Speaker 1: say is don't let school get in the way of
Speaker 1: your education. I was wondering if you think I should
Speaker 1: focus on my business or just to do kids stuff.
Speaker 1: And if you want to see some of the stuff
Speaker 1: I've done, you can check out my Instagram pages. Dirty
Speaker 1: Water game calls so doesn't say his name twelve years old?
Speaker 1: Twelve years old? Yeah, oh man, his emails Albino Goose
Speaker 1: and so I'm pretty sure that's not his name. It's
Speaker 1: lost to Grandpa. That is. This is another one of
Speaker 1: these very common It doesn't hey, guys, it doesn't make
Speaker 1: it easier that it's common. It's just his losing that
Speaker 1: This is something that most everyone will go through, is
Speaker 1: losing to grandpa. And like I said, doesn't make it
Speaker 1: any easier. It's still it's still devastating, especially to a
Speaker 1: twelve year old boy who learned all of this stuff,
Speaker 1: this outdoor stuff from his grandpa. And then the first
Speaker 1: thing I'll say is you're blessed that you had a
Speaker 1: grandpa that was able to get you outdoors and teach
Speaker 1: you all these these great things. And the price that
Speaker 1: you're paying now this grief that you're you're dealing with
Speaker 1: now is the price of how much you loved them.
Speaker 1: It's it's correlated how much how much you grieve, It's
Speaker 1: correlated with how much you loved. So the more you love,
Speaker 1: the more you're going to grieve. And certainly you don't
Speaker 1: want to lose out on the love, so you'll you'll
Speaker 1: take the grief. Yeah, And it's it's understandable that you know,
Speaker 1: it kind of feels like a gut punch and you
Speaker 1: don't really feel like doing anything, and he can feel lost,
Speaker 1: especially when you lose somebody that's had such a big
Speaker 1: impact on you, and it's right to miss them. It's
Speaker 1: right to mourn there that they're gone. And I can
Speaker 1: imagine it's hard when you go and engage in those
Speaker 1: activities and you're outdoors doing things that your grandpa tatia
Speaker 1: and you knew that he loved that it hurts too
Speaker 1: because you think about him and that he's not there. Eventually,
Speaker 1: it won't always feel like that. It's not always going
Speaker 1: to feel like that. You are going to be able
Speaker 1: to return to doing the things that you enjoyed with
Speaker 1: your grandpa, And so don't lose sight of the fact
Speaker 1: that you know, those are things that you get to
Speaker 1: enjoy again and may still enjoy. But first of all,
Speaker 1: it's okay to grieve, it's okay to mourn, and there's
Speaker 1: no set time that that it's right or wrong to
Speaker 1: do that. You take the time that you need. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks thing, that's you're you're just in
Speaker 1: the heat of it right now. So there's no there's
Speaker 1: nothing you saying that you've been unproductive. It's totally fine
Speaker 1: and totally understandable. It's and then it's gonna it's gonna
Speaker 1: get hot again. It's going to get hard again in
Speaker 1: the fall, you know, and this when it's uh duck
Speaker 1: season again, it's season again. It's gonna get tough again
Speaker 1: for you. And then every year will slowly start going
Speaker 1: by and you'll feel better about it, and you'll feel
Speaker 1: better about it. You won't you won't move on from
Speaker 1: your grandpa. He's always going to be with you in
Speaker 1: your mind. But you're gonna move forward, and you're gonna
Speaker 1: go on and you're gonna take steps, and you're gonna
Speaker 1: get older, and then you're gonna start applying what he
Speaker 1: taught you to other people. Around you. Yes, that's a
Speaker 1: great point. That one of the ways that you can
Speaker 1: honor your grandpa and enjoy the things that you enjoyed
Speaker 1: with him is pass it along. I don't think you're
Speaker 1: too young to start teaching somebody else, a buddy or
Speaker 1: or maybe a cousin or somebody that's younger than you.
Speaker 1: Just start teaching them what you've learned, and to pass
Speaker 1: that along and enjoy things with them. And when people
Speaker 1: say why'd you learn that, give them a big old
Speaker 1: grin and say, my grandpa, and that that's going to
Speaker 1: just feel so good in your heart because you just
Speaker 1: passed on something from him and you that's gonna that's
Speaker 1: gonna help you so much, and you're you're gonna be
Speaker 1: just fine. Buddy. I'm sorry for your loss, but you're
Speaker 1: you're you're in a good place. As far as should
Speaker 1: I focus on my business or do kids stuff? What
Speaker 1: if you're doing business as a kid, you're still doing
Speaker 1: kids stuff, So that makes you happy. If you enjoy
Speaker 1: making duck calls, that's not a business, not yet at least,
Speaker 1: So yeah, man, if you love making duck calls and
Speaker 1: doing that kind of thing, have fun with it. That's
Speaker 1: a good word, so bible, question, finding friends, brain or soul.
Speaker 1: I'm in a predicament Navy or baby, Navy or baby.
Speaker 1: No one keeps coming out. Okay, here we go, it says.
Speaker 1: My name is Avery. I'm thirty three from southern California.
Speaker 1: First of all, thank you. I'm a loyal listener. I've
Speaker 1: listened to every single podcast. My heart genuinely feels full
Speaker 1: to it all. I'm trying my best to keep this short.
Speaker 1: I pull off my dream of the military. Ten years ago,
Speaker 1: post college, my dad had a severe stroke. I quit
Speaker 1: my job and moved to be with my parents. When
Speaker 1: things became more stable with my dad, I jumped back
Speaker 1: into work. Years have been going by and my husband
Speaker 1: now and through both and though both of us have
Speaker 1: been working and saving relentlessly, we were feeling the financial response.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, we're feeling the financial possibilities of having a baby,
Speaker 1: and we're feeling like that could be getting further and
Speaker 1: further away, shifting gears a bit. When a pandemic hit,
Speaker 1: it struck a chord with me, and I realized how
Speaker 1: much I needed to revive my military dream, even if
Speaker 1: it's just in the reserves. So I've been pursuing the
Speaker 1: Navy for a year now, but things keep happening. My dad,
Speaker 1: my husband lost his dad unexpectedly. I broke my foot
Speaker 1: then tore some ligaments training, and I'm just at a
Speaker 1: point where I'm trying to be real realistic with myself.
Speaker 1: At what point do I let go knowing that as
Speaker 1: a female that we don't have all the time in
Speaker 1: the world to have a family. Do I wait and
Speaker 1: go back into the military. What do you guys think?
Speaker 1: Loved everybody? Avery h So that last thing, it says,
Speaker 1: did I wait too long to go back to the military?
Speaker 1: So she's does she say her age thirty three? Thirty three?
Speaker 1: She did? Yeah, thirty three. They're feeling the financial possibilities
Speaker 1: of having a baby are getting further away. I don't
Speaker 1: like that sentence. I don't know. I don't I'm confused
Speaker 1: by it. But it sounds like maybe they're in a
Speaker 1: position now where they could be comfortable, like in their minds,
Speaker 1: comfortable at having a baby. It says years have been
Speaker 1: going by with my husband now, and though both of
Speaker 1: us have been working and saving relentlessly, we're feeling the
Speaker 1: financial possibilities of having a baby geting further away. It
Speaker 1: sounds like they feel like they don't have enough money
Speaker 1: right to start a family, and I just want to
Speaker 1: I always want to rebuke that, but because that's just this,
Speaker 1: there's this mentality, there's modern mentality of like, man, you
Speaker 1: got to you gotta save a ton of money for kids,
Speaker 1: And honestly, daycare is what's causing that. We we've been
Speaker 1: we've we haven't ever had daycare for my kids. But
Speaker 1: when I talk to friends that have, it's like twelve
Speaker 1: hundred dollars a kid in some places. Yeah, so if
Speaker 1: you have two or three, it's a big deal. So
Speaker 1: I think because diapers and formula, it's it's it's not
Speaker 1: that much, you know. I think you're right to count
Speaker 1: the cost, right you want to go, Okay, are we
Speaker 1: in a position where this would be irresponsible and we
Speaker 1: can't make ends meet now as it is? But I
Speaker 1: also think like they'll sound like that couple. No, I
Speaker 1: would say, there is nothing more difficult and yet more
Speaker 1: rewarding than being a parent. It's when I got married
Speaker 1: that was the first step in realizing just how selfish
Speaker 1: I was. Like, when you start sharing life with somebody
Speaker 1: else and sharing everything with them, you realize real quickly
Speaker 1: just how self centered you are, and you've got to
Speaker 1: wrestle with that and die to self a lot. And
Speaker 1: then we had our first child, and true it's born,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, if I don't intervene like constantly in
Speaker 1: his life, he's not going to live. So like my
Speaker 1: focus had to be about him and helping him and
Speaker 1: serving him, and so my wife and I and so
Speaker 1: having kids is going to accentuate any issues you have
Speaker 1: in your relationship, in your marriage. It doesn't solve, it
Speaker 1: doesn't fix. It's not it's it's you take that step
Speaker 1: if you think you're bold enough and brave enough to
Speaker 1: die to self and to live a life of self sacrifice,
Speaker 1: because that's what parenting really is all about. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: she says, at what point do I let go as
Speaker 1: a female that we don't have all the time in
Speaker 1: the world to have a family. Are she saying, at
Speaker 1: what point do I just say we're not going to
Speaker 1: have a family, let go as a female, knowing that
Speaker 1: that's a biological clock is? I guess? So I think
Speaker 1: that's what she's saying. And at thirty three, she's not wrong,
Speaker 1: especially if there's no plan right now, which means you're
Speaker 1: a couple of years from having a baby if you
Speaker 1: started now. So man, I'm going to lean if you're
Speaker 1: just the once again, this is a campfire conversations me Avery, Chad.
Speaker 1: I'm going to say, you drop everything to have the baby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm in that corner. I'm on team baby if the baby,
Speaker 1: if it doesn't happen, if you don't conceive, and you
Speaker 1: pass your biological clock, then you got the rest of
Speaker 1: your life to go and do what you wanted to do,
Speaker 1: what you thought you were going to do with this
Speaker 1: military or adopt or foster or Yeah, that but that absolutely,
Speaker 1: I'm so pro family, and yeah, have kids and the
Speaker 1: love that you and your husband have and share, expand
Speaker 1: the boundaries on that and and start bringing others into
Speaker 1: that through parenting. Yeah, I'm all for it. That's that's
Speaker 1: my you know, whether you like it or not, that's
Speaker 1: my drop everything and put all the eggs in that basket.
Speaker 1: No pun intended. They Okay, so we're gonna go back
Speaker 1: to you want me to pick one of these things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go. I'm in a predicament. Yeah, hey, Granger,
Speaker 1: money is Aaron, Let's see. No, I already did that.
Speaker 1: One did that on how about brain or soul? That's
Speaker 1: that's what brain or soul like that one says I've
Speaker 1: loved your music for a few years now. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't know you until recently that you had a podcast,
Speaker 1: and I've absolutely love it. I've been watching episodes every day,
Speaker 1: sometimes two a day on YouTube, every single night. I
Speaker 1: love the around the camp fire field. It feels like
Speaker 1: sort of a fellowship for me and something I crave
Speaker 1: as a way to unwind after work each evening. Anyway,
Speaker 1: my question is in regard to the podcast that you
Speaker 1: had in early April. The topic of the question you're
Speaker 1: answering was suicide, and I was wondering your opinion on
Speaker 1: this is the trauma people may experience in life that
Speaker 1: leads to suicide, perhaps more trauma to the soul than
Speaker 1: it is to the brain. I know. I've struggled with
Speaker 1: suicide a few different times in my life over the years,
Speaker 1: and the only way I got through those times was
Speaker 1: by leaning into God and by being out in nature.
Speaker 1: Looking back, for me, I believe it was damaging to
Speaker 1: the soul, but that's just me. I don't know. Hopefully,
Speaker 1: diving into this question may help a listener out there somewhere.
Speaker 1: PS please do a show in Colorado some time, Anthony, So,
Speaker 1: have you talked about suicide before on the podcast? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't remember this episode that he was referring to.
Speaker 1: But I've dealt with suicide a lot. I say a lot.
Speaker 1: I've dealt with suicide a fair amount, and it's typically
Speaker 1: military related. I did a documentary in twenty eighteen and
Speaker 1: it featured five fallen soldiers and I walked one hundred
Speaker 1: miles twenty miles for each soldier and featured who they
Speaker 1: were in their lives. And one of the one of
Speaker 1: the guys that was lost, was a suicide. And so
Speaker 1: through the through this research that we did for the documentary,
Speaker 1: we had to learn and this this particular soldier, it
Speaker 1: was clear that he was he was damaged mentally like
Speaker 1: his physical brain. His physical brain was fine, Okay, he
Speaker 1: saw and did things that did some kind of neurological
Speaker 1: damage that's undetectable because he became a different person. He
Speaker 1: lived a different life, He reacted differently, talked differently. He
Speaker 1: was not the same person before the injury. It's something
Speaker 1: I learned that, Wow, this is actually you could see
Speaker 1: that not all injuries are visible in an MRI. And
Speaker 1: when a guy comes back without a leg in Afghanistan,
Speaker 1: you could instantly know, Okay, this guy, you know he
Speaker 1: served and he did this, and this is his story.
Speaker 1: But when a guy comes back physically fine, you kind
Speaker 1: of tend to just put him back into society as
Speaker 1: if he doesn't need a ramp or a wheelchair or
Speaker 1: assistance in anything. You just give him a job and
Speaker 1: say go and so and then I've seen that story
Speaker 1: repeat itself many times. That's why we have such a
Speaker 1: high number of suicides that are military related. So the
Speaker 1: question is a deep one brain or soul? Is it?
Speaker 1: Is it? He said? Is it more trauma to the
Speaker 1: soul than it is to the brain. So so what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say is it's trauma to the brain. And
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that from a from a Christian perspective
Speaker 1: that that the Bible says fear the one that could
Speaker 1: that could destroy your soul, which is God. I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't think we're capable of destroying our soul. You
Speaker 1: don't think we can damage it? Well, because we I
Speaker 1: think biblically and philosophically we are souls that have bodies.
Speaker 1: Our soul animates our body, and I think that there
Speaker 1: is a connection between the two that is really difficult
Speaker 1: to explain. That's it. There's a connection between these two things.
Speaker 1: So the Anthony might be, like this question, might be
Speaker 1: saying the same thing. It's suicide more trauma to the
Speaker 1: soul than it is to the brain. There's a connection
Speaker 1: between that you can't and we don't just we just
Speaker 1: don't know the extent of that connection and how that works.
Speaker 1: So so back to me when I said you can't
Speaker 1: see it on the MRI, maybe that maybe that's the
Speaker 1: damage to the soul because you can't see the soul.
Speaker 1: So maybe you're right, this is a soul issue, which
Speaker 1: is actually what Anthony's arguing here. And then you get
Speaker 1: into the nuance between what's the difference between a spirit
Speaker 1: and a soul. What you actually study this stuff in
Speaker 1: undergrad as a philosophy major, and I did my final
Speaker 1: thesis paper on philosophy of the mind and all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, and there's just a lot of different
Speaker 1: opinions and approaches to what we can and can't understand.
Speaker 1: But I strongly believe in the metaphysical realm, like the
Speaker 1: soul and the spirit and you know those kind of things,
Speaker 1: and they're deeply connected to the physical and I think
Speaker 1: they both influence each other and we just don't understand it.
Speaker 1: So I agree. I think it's damage and it has effect,
Speaker 1: and there are some things that only God can heal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Jesus says, I will give you rest for your souls.
Speaker 1: It's so. So then you wonder, is that the only
Speaker 1: recovery that a soul could have, a damaged soul could have,
Speaker 1: is the only recovery to come to Christ. That's what
Speaker 1: he says. Yes, it's deep, deep, that's for the other podcast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is deep. I mean, that's I'm interested in some
Speaker 1: If you're watching on YouTube and you see some comments
Speaker 1: on this, I'm sure we'll kind of see both sides.
Speaker 1: What is the connection of the brain and the soul.
Speaker 1: There is a you could you could biblically make a
Speaker 1: lot of connections between the brain and the soul. But
Speaker 1: if you're damaged enough to be suicidal, which is usually
Speaker 1: typically suicide happens from a chain of events that have
Speaker 1: happened or seeing or done. So if you can't see
Speaker 1: it on a scan if you can't see a chunk
Speaker 1: of the brain missing, but there is a I have
Speaker 1: seen it with my own eyes. There is damage to
Speaker 1: a person that happens from PTSD. There's something you could
Speaker 1: you could do something. Let me just put it in perspective. Well,
Speaker 1: I just wrote a song. I just did this. I
Speaker 1: worked with this company, this really cool disabled vet organization
Speaker 1: that brings in songwriters and writes songs with disabled bets
Speaker 1: as a healing process. You tell their story through the music.
Speaker 1: It's called Creative Vets. It's a really cool deal. So
Speaker 1: that the one I did I wrote with a marine
Speaker 1: a Marine VET that was the father of a suicide victim,
Speaker 1: his son Chris. The one we wrote the story about.
Speaker 1: His story is he was in Iraq and it was
Speaker 1: I hear this so many times when I hear the
Speaker 1: suicide military suicide, that you hear a story of a
Speaker 1: young man that's just full of life, like the the
Speaker 1: class clown in high school, very always outgoing and brave.
Speaker 1: Because those are usually the guys that end up on
Speaker 1: the front lines. Those are usually the personality traits that
Speaker 1: get you kicking indoors in urban warfare. I could see that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're not a desk guy. If you're yo, hey, what's
Speaker 1: the life of the life of the room wherever you are,
Speaker 1: You're the guy I think gets on the in the
Speaker 1: you know, in the hum vy and you're out there.
Speaker 1: You're the first one out of the door, the first
Speaker 1: one kicking in the door. You're the first one. So
Speaker 1: that so anyway, the story that's got Chris, he's that
Speaker 1: kind of guy. And one day they're they're out on
Speaker 1: a convoy and they have to go into a building
Speaker 1: and a run down part of Iraq in the city.
Speaker 1: They kick open a door. There's a there's a known
Speaker 1: Taliban guy in here in this building. They're looking for
Speaker 1: him and kicking the door and they see him. There's
Speaker 1: the Taliban guys. They're in the room. They have their
Speaker 1: hands up. These guys they were Marines. They're off their
Speaker 1: guns on them. And a little girl comes from between
Speaker 1: the talabana starts coming right at him and they're screaming
Speaker 1: at her stop stop stop. She's like nine years old
Speaker 1: and she's coming at him without stopping, and he pulls
Speaker 1: the trigger shoots it right between the eyes. She falls.
Speaker 1: He looks back at the same time and looks behind
Speaker 1: him and there's a little doll on the ground behind him.
Speaker 1: She was coming to get the doll, and that killed him. Essentially,
Speaker 1: he returned home, he re entered civilian lifestyle. He could
Speaker 1: not stop seeing that little girl. And usually when you
Speaker 1: hear these kind of stories of suicide, it's typically not
Speaker 1: something that you witnessed, it's something you did. That's the
Speaker 1: hardest thing, from my understanding, the hardest maybe that's the
Speaker 1: sole damage thing is when you do it. You did
Speaker 1: it that I've heard. There was the documentary We made
Speaker 1: the guy ran over a child on purpose because they
Speaker 1: were blocking the convoy and they they were creating a threat,
Speaker 1: an unknown threat. And as we know, this little girl
Speaker 1: could have had a grenade in her pocket. The little
Speaker 1: girl could have could have killed any one of the
Speaker 1: men that were with him. They know that, we've known
Speaker 1: that since since the World War One? So is that
Speaker 1: how you damage your soul? And I, yeah, I think
Speaker 1: that the only repair, the only restoration that can come
Speaker 1: for for soul damage comes through Jesus Christ. Jesus says,
Speaker 1: come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
Speaker 1: and I will give you rest. It's the only way. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: take my yoke and learn from me from gentle and
Speaker 1: humble and heart, humble and heart, and you will have
Speaker 1: rest for your souls. So that's a good word. So
Speaker 1: last time I was here, we got a question about
Speaker 1: you covering like a gospel song. Did you get any
Speaker 1: feedback on that? Yeah, I think a lot of people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: do it. So I have to go back. You wanted
Speaker 1: to hit one more here, and we'll let everybody get
Speaker 1: back to their their evening or the morning or whenever
Speaker 1: they watch. Shout out to every Shout out to the
Speaker 1: commuters and the over the road truckers and the would
Speaker 1: that guy say he'd liked to unwind and listen to
Speaker 1: it in the evenings after work, finding friends or Bible
Speaker 1: question your call, Chad. The pressure's on you will jump
Speaker 1: into finding friends. Okay, Hello Grangeer. My name is Tony.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty two. I'm from Surrey, UK. Love your podcast.
Speaker 1: It's really maybe changed the way I look at certain
Speaker 1: things and act. And I've seen sent several episodes to
Speaker 1: friends and family for them to watch and hopes that
Speaker 1: they would appreciate the show as much as I do.
Speaker 1: My question is I'm pretty lonely at the moment. And
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do about it. I don't
Speaker 1: have a girlfriend. I've distanced myself from all my friends
Speaker 1: after realizing they weren't good company. I do know, I
Speaker 1: do not know how I can make friends with new people.
Speaker 1: The only time I go out is either with my
Speaker 1: family or by myself out in the country. So there
Speaker 1: really isn't a chance for me to meet new people.
Speaker 1: Any advice or any of your own personal experiences that
Speaker 1: could help me, ye yee for life, Tony from UK.
Speaker 1: I mean, I just think growing up I moved around
Speaker 1: a few times, and as an adult, my family and
Speaker 1: I we've moved to different locations around the country. And
Speaker 1: for us, it happens around common interests. If there's stuff
Speaker 1: that we like to do, we tend to meet people
Speaker 1: when we go do stuff. You know, and this may
Speaker 1: be the obvious pastoral answer, but we also find deep
Speaker 1: friendships through church and getting involved in a local church
Speaker 1: and doing things outside of church with those people that
Speaker 1: we attend church with or the people that are a
Speaker 1: part of the church that we're with. But yeah, and
Speaker 1: then when you start having kids, you start they start
Speaker 1: doing extracurricular things, and so when your kids are involved
Speaker 1: in something. You're standing there with other parents whose kids
Speaker 1: are also interested in involved in things. So friendship tends
Speaker 1: to happen around activities and mutual interests. And so that's
Speaker 1: or I would tend to go. Yeah, I agree. I
Speaker 1: don't know where Surre is Surre in the UK or
Speaker 1: how big a talent it is, But you say any
Speaker 1: advice or your or your own personal experience, Well, I am.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if this is a
Speaker 1: parent or not, but I'm I'm generally introverted when it
Speaker 1: comes to social events, like I'm not. I've never been
Speaker 1: the guy that's like, where's a party tonight? It takes
Speaker 1: a lot to get me out. She kind of a homebody.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of a homebody and I would rather just
Speaker 1: could we just cook something here? You know? And So
Speaker 1: my point to being, if you're truly lonely, like you're saying,
Speaker 1: and you need it, you kind of crave that that relationship,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to step out and be a little
Speaker 1: bit uncomfortable and go, you know what, I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: to this soccer game. That's what we say here, Tony,
Speaker 1: we say soccer. I want to go to this soccer
Speaker 1: game by myself, you know, and it's gonna be that's
Speaker 1: gonna be awkward and weird. But the reward you can
Speaker 1: get out of that by mingling and finding some people
Speaker 1: and they're yelling for the same team, and you go,
Speaker 1: where are you guys from? And they live down the
Speaker 1: road and so do I, and then you start this relationship.
Speaker 1: And it might take a little effort, it might take
Speaker 1: and might take some being some awkward. You might want
Speaker 1: to go to your local pub, you know, and order
Speaker 1: your favorite I'm trying to think of some things here.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of some British things here. You're
Speaker 1: gonna bangers and mash and fish and chips. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: go to the Golden Chippy now that's in London and
Speaker 1: uh yeah the pub pub. Yeah, get you some fish
Speaker 1: and chips and and you got to just start conversations.
Speaker 1: It's tough for an introvert. It sounds like that's what
Speaker 1: you are. It's tough to's just start a conversation with
Speaker 1: a perfect stranger, or to go somewhere by Some people
Speaker 1: think going somewhere by themselves it's humiliating. I love it,
Speaker 1: but I love going to eat by myself and there's
Speaker 1: a way to go. And yes, it's it feels awkward
Speaker 1: to you, it may not be awkward to other people.
Speaker 1: But then there are ways you can make it creepy.
Speaker 1: So if you go to this soccer game, don't be
Speaker 1: like all like in people's personal space or staring at
Speaker 1: them and then lead with will you be my friend? Like,
Speaker 1: you don't want to be that guy either, because that's
Speaker 1: just creepy. What we're skipping around here at with Chad
Speaker 1: and I, what we're really thinking is go to church
Speaker 1: and become a member of a small group you're going
Speaker 1: to have. If you have theological things in common, then
Speaker 1: friendships will will blossom through that. So you're now hearing
Speaker 1: the first time in the podcast the garage door going up.
Speaker 1: This is the new space. This is a sweet dat.
Speaker 1: I like it. Bertie came in. The first thing Bertie
Speaker 1: said was where's the blue lord? Yeah, the blue board.
Speaker 1: But it's appropriate that you're now the second the second guest, Tony.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, buddy. I hope you find your friends.
Speaker 1: We all need connection, and this past year we've all
Speaker 1: learned more than ever. Humans are built for connection. We're
Speaker 1: built to have friends and family, and in Okinawa, I
Speaker 1: think I've read the Okinawa has the most centurions that
Speaker 1: you say it people living over the age of one hundred,
Speaker 1: more than any other country. And the only thing we
Speaker 1: could really trace it to is they value family more
Speaker 1: than almost every other culture. There's babies living with old
Speaker 1: people and everybody in between in the same house, and
Speaker 1: they all do things together, and they all eat meals together,
Speaker 1: and it equals a longer life. That goes back to
Speaker 1: our first question with your in laws. Maybe I don't
Speaker 1: remember that guy. Well, you said east, and it doesn't
Speaker 1: get any farther east than Okinawa. They just view it
Speaker 1: differently in the East than they do in the West.
Speaker 1: In the West it's all about independence and find them
Speaker 1: own place and blaze in my trail. They don't think
Speaker 1: that way in most of the world. So love you guys.
Speaker 1: We're out of time. If you want more, Chad, well,
Speaker 1: I know you do, so thanks for having me, ye ye,
Speaker 1: thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith podcast. I
Speaker 1: appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out
Speaker 1: by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Ye