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Speaker 1: My question is in regard to the podcast that you

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Speaker 1: had in early April. The topic of the question you're

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Speaker 1: answering was suicide, and I was wondering your opinion on this.

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Speaker 1: Is the trauma people may experience in life that leads

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Speaker 1: to suicide, perhaps more trauma to the soul than it

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Speaker 1: is to the brain. I know. I've struggled with suicide

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Speaker 1: a few different times in my life over the years,

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Speaker 1: and the only way I got through those times was

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Speaker 1: by leaning into God and by being out in nature.

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Speaker 1: Looking back. For me, I believe it was damaging to

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Speaker 1: the soul, but that's just me. I don't know. Hopefully

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Speaker 1: diving into this question may help a listener out there

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Speaker 1: somewhere back on the podcast. This is episode ninety two

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Speaker 1: and you've done like eighty of them special guests. Do

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Speaker 1: you have big plans for number one hundred? I was

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Speaker 1: just thinking about that yesterday. Actually, I don't know what

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Speaker 1: what it would be, but I think we should do something.

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Speaker 1: It should be are you able to get more people

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Speaker 1: around the table now that you've got this round table?

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Speaker 1: Maybe we should do multiple like you and Amber and

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Speaker 1: Bernie and Parker. Yeah, and do like the All Star

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Speaker 1: Cast let's do it. That's a great idea, number one hundred,

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Speaker 1: number one. I'm in okay, all right, Chad Warren guest

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Speaker 1: back on the podcast today. We are answering your questions

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Speaker 1: email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and we'll answer

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Speaker 1: whatever you have like a campfire setting Montana chats for

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Speaker 1: Montana's we'll do it like a Montana campfire setting. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you are, what's the process on your podcast? So

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Speaker 1: we've got kind of all this stuff set up. We're

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Speaker 1: going to start to record some We're gonna have you

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Speaker 1: and kind of have some other people come in record things,

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Speaker 1: get get it all squared away, get the editing figured out,

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Speaker 1: and you know, because we're brand new to this world.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, we're gonna hopefully I could see us launching

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Speaker 1: in August or September, so early fall, So stay tuned.

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Speaker 1: And what this is, this is going to be Chad

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Speaker 1: is going to start his own podcast and it is

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Speaker 1: going to be the next level from this podcast. So this,

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Speaker 1: if this is like answer your questions at a campfire setting,

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Speaker 1: then his podcast is going to be. All right, let's

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Speaker 1: get deep. Let's get deep thought, and not that we

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Speaker 1: don't get deep on this podcast. But this is going

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Speaker 1: to be biblically based scriptural base. So read a scripture

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Speaker 1: and let's get deep about that scripture. Yep, yeah, in

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Speaker 1: a similar format. I mean, we're gonna it's gonna be

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Speaker 1: you and I will take a passage of scripture. We'll

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Speaker 1: read it, and then how would we I mean how

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Speaker 1: do we? Normally when you and I get together, it's

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Speaker 1: what are we reading and what is the Lord showing us?

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Speaker 1: And we talk about how that starts to trickle into

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Speaker 1: all aspects of life and how does it help us

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Speaker 1: be better husbands, fathers, and friends. No preparation, right, no

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Speaker 1: prep Yeah, besides picking the scripture obviously, Yeah. I mean

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Speaker 1: the idea is that you would be able to I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's really for if you want to go deeper in

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Speaker 1: your own walk with the Lord and just hear some

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Speaker 1: people talk about the word and how to just approach

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Speaker 1: the scripture. That's one level. If you don't know anything

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Speaker 1: about the Bible and you've never even opened it, and

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Speaker 1: you thought you know what I at least should know

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Speaker 1: what it talks about, this would be a good opportunity

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Speaker 1: for you to hear two people who believe it's true

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Speaker 1: and talk about it and read it and try to

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Speaker 1: understand it. And yeah, and if you want some midweek encouragement,

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Speaker 1: then this is a good one for you on your

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Speaker 1: way to work. Yeah, if you're at work and you

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Speaker 1: need you just want to hear a couple of guys

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Speaker 1: talk about the word or gals. We might have some

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Speaker 1: gals on the podcast here and we'll stay we'll keep

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Speaker 1: that all that up to date on when that's launching

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Speaker 1: and details behind that. Yeah, that's true. Today, I wanted

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Speaker 1: to start with these questions. I want to kind of

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Speaker 1: I found a couple of lighte ones, so I want

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Speaker 1: to start with where's the super light? When I saw man?

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Speaker 1: I didn't see well, I will start with the one

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Speaker 1: called softball question. It says, hey, Gray angel and friend

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Speaker 1: of the day, Friend of the day, insert typical comment

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Speaker 1: of I'm a huge fan, love of music, lovery podcast,

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Speaker 1: in your apparel in the Smiths, thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: It says, now the touring is back. I just have

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Speaker 1: the question, do you ever get tired of smiling for

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Speaker 1: pictures or does your face start to hurt? I got

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Speaker 1: married in October with your music playing, of course, and

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Speaker 1: my face hurts so bad from smiling after so many

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Speaker 1: pictures at my wedding. I love what you do for

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Speaker 1: the community. Thank you. That is Kelsey from North Texas.

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Speaker 1: When the comment first that I did the same thing

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Speaker 1: at my wedding, I remember my face hurting. So I

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Speaker 1: don't think it takes being in entertainment business too. But

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Speaker 1: you've got all these muscles in your face, and so

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Speaker 1: you're working them out, and maybe you do a wedding,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it's a one off experience, and you're

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Speaker 1: kind of it starts to freeze in place, and you

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Speaker 1: wonder if it looks fake because it feels fake, but

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Speaker 1: you're still you're smiling big, and you look back at

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Speaker 1: those pictures and you go, man, we looked happy. But

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Speaker 1: for you, like a weightlifter, like you're lifting those those

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Speaker 1: muscles get worked, don't they. I mean, he's got a

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Speaker 1: good point because I don't know what, like, just walk

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Speaker 1: us through what would it look like to be on

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Speaker 1: your hip pocket for the day of a concert. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you've kind of done that a little bit with me.

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Speaker 1: But the meet and greet is by far the most

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Speaker 1: grueling part of my day. It's also the most fulfilling part.

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Speaker 1: That's well, I will meet about one hundred and fifty people,

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Speaker 1: and I try to kind of slow down and have

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Speaker 1: a get some engagement with every one of them. So

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Speaker 1: that is that is the part that sometimes you got

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Speaker 1: to be if a guy comes in and he say,

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Speaker 1: you got to kind of get up, and then sometimes

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Speaker 1: someone's like, I got to tell you something about my grandpa,

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Speaker 1: and then you kind of got to get down with

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Speaker 1: them and you just kind of ride that emotional roller coaster.

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Speaker 1: So that takes its toll, but it's also the most fulfilling.

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Speaker 1: And I can't imagine skipping that I actually did during

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Speaker 1: the pandemic when we played a few shows there was

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Speaker 1: no meet and greets, and my day was pretty meaningless.

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Speaker 1: And Chris, my tour manager, and I we quickly noticed

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Speaker 1: that although we thought we would be excited with less work,

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Speaker 1: of no meet and greets, it made the show just

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Speaker 1: kind of blend because you don't have that connection with

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Speaker 1: the people. So yeah, maybe the muscles do get well then,

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Speaker 1: I imagine, but you're you're a happy guy. Yeah, well

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Speaker 1: you're you're a joyful guy, and so I can imagine

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Speaker 1: and even getting to be there with you a little

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Speaker 1: bit at a recent show. You love to interact with people,

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Speaker 1: and so yeah, to some degree, it's probably natural, and

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Speaker 1: you just get excited when people are excited, and you're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you probably have like cheekbone muscles that are Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I thought that was a hilarious question because I've thought

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Speaker 1: about that and people ask me that, and I don't

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Speaker 1: really have a true answer. I don't know if you

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Speaker 1: could get cheek muscles that could work them out or not.

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Speaker 1: But your smile always seems genuine. So that's good. I'm

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Speaker 1: glad you say that. Thank you, Kelsey. So I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: kick it over you, Chad. We're gonna do some We're

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Speaker 1: gonna do some reading the subjects and you picking. We

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Speaker 1: have a man of the house. We have I'm in

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Speaker 1: a predicament. We have Navy or baby. I like the

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Speaker 1: rhyme of them struggling with sin, and then we have

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Speaker 1: a mister Smith, and I know that mister Smith is

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Speaker 1: a lighthearted one. Okay, we'll go man of the House

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Speaker 1: and then struggling with Sin. Okay, and we'll see what happens. Okay.

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Speaker 1: Man of the House says, dear Grander, just wanted to

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Speaker 1: start off and say that ever since my wife introduced

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Speaker 1: me to your music when we were dating. You and

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Speaker 1: your family and your brothers and everything that EG stands for.

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Speaker 1: It's been a huge blessing and inspiration. Thank you, buddy.

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Speaker 1: It says, I love how your faith in Christ is

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Speaker 1: something that we could see as you lead your family

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Speaker 1: as the head of your house, and it inspired me

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Speaker 1: to be that for my wife and son. I'm twenty

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Speaker 1: eight years old in the Air Force. I'm an Air

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Speaker 1: Force veteran, and my wife and son and I recently

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Speaker 1: moved back to Texas from being stationed in California. One

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Speaker 1: of the ideas that we have when we're in the

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Speaker 1: process of moving was to live with my in laws

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Speaker 1: because they had the space and we liked the idea

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Speaker 1: of not having to pay rent for a little bit.

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Speaker 1: When we got settled back in Texas, fast forward nine

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Speaker 1: months and we're still living with them, And for me,

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Speaker 1: being independent most of my adult life and being in

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Speaker 1: the military, I started to feel real resentment towards my

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Speaker 1: in laws and the fact that we're still living with

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Speaker 1: him for what was supposed to be just a couple

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Speaker 1: of months. So how do I, as the man of

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Speaker 1: my family, lead my wife and sons spiritually while not

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Speaker 1: feeling like I am in constant pissing contest with my

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Speaker 1: father in law, who's the leader of his house which

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Speaker 1: we reside in. I know, this is just a season

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Speaker 1: of my life where my faith is being tested because

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Speaker 1: of the fact that I'm living with my in laws.

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Speaker 1: But I'm just really struggling with my anger towards them

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Speaker 1: and feeling like my wife sometimes doesn't want to move out,

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Speaker 1: or when will this all be over? Thank you for

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Speaker 1: your time, justin this is one of those where it's

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Speaker 1: unfortunate that's an email and like he's not actually sitting

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Speaker 1: here around the campfire. I have so many questions and

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Speaker 1: want to dig deeper, and so you just have to.

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Speaker 1: I mean, he was very thorough though, and included a

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Speaker 1: lot of detail, which I think is cool, And at

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Speaker 1: first my first impression is that he seems to be

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Speaker 1: very aware of himself and his own kind of internal

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Speaker 1: frustrations and wrestlings and areas where yes, he is frustrated,

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Speaker 1: he's angry, but he also realizes the situation. He seems

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Speaker 1: pretty self aware that, yeah, this is his father in

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Speaker 1: law's domain, and his father in law is the head

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Speaker 1: of his own home, and he is kind of in

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Speaker 1: submission to that authority, and rightly so, that would be

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Speaker 1: a there's a shelf life on that for sure, that

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Speaker 1: would be a frustrating situation after a while. Sounds like

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Speaker 1: he needs to go on vacation, to get out of

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Speaker 1: the house and go somewhere, go on a trip. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's true. Justin' you're very validated in all of this

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Speaker 1: that you're saying, and like Chad said, it sounds like

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Speaker 1: you've been thinking a lot about it. You have some

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Speaker 1: good thoughts about it. And with this is not the

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Speaker 1: first time we've seen emails from people that are living

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Speaker 1: within laws and having problems. It seems to be a

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Speaker 1: problem or reoccurring problem because it's a it's a it's

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Speaker 1: a nice sounding solution to a young couple, a young

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Speaker 1: married couple that goes, well, we're trying to get our

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Speaker 1: feet on the ground and get something settled or move

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Speaker 1: or maybe we're building a house, or we're in the

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Speaker 1: process of going between leases. And I always see these

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Speaker 1: problems arise within laws. I've never lived within laws, so

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Speaker 1: have you. No, No, I can't. I can't totally relate.

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Speaker 1: And I think as I as a student of kind

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Speaker 1: of the East and the West, being somebody who obviously

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Speaker 1: grew up in the West and what I mean like

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Speaker 1: Western civilization, Western culture. But you study Eastern cultures and

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Speaker 1: you notice there's a difference in the West, especially in

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Speaker 1: the United States of independence, a priority on independent and

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Speaker 1: launching and kind of being your on your own, whereas

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Speaker 1: you look at other cultures in the Middle East and

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Speaker 1: throughout Asia, they're very family centric and so living with

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Speaker 1: both sets of parents, this idea that everyone's under the

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Speaker 1: same roof, they tend to do it. I mean that

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Speaker 1: that works for them, But it's so not American to

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Speaker 1: be more common, right, very yeah, a lot more common

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Speaker 1: in those circumstances, but it is not common here, and

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Speaker 1: so we definitely struggle with it more. And I'm yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm there aren't a lot of patterns to look at

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Speaker 1: or examples to to look at where or maybe it's

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Speaker 1: so it's so let's just walk through it, Chad. Let's

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Speaker 1: walk through it from a biblical standpoint and then from

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Speaker 1: a from a friend standpoint. If we were given this

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Speaker 1: advice around a campfire, So you have to put it,

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Speaker 1: seems to me you have to put a deadline on

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Speaker 1: these type things, a hard deadline, and you have to

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Speaker 1: be in agreeance with your wife. But in the scenario,

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Speaker 1: it feels like the father in law would be the

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Speaker 1: man of the house. I mean, it's his house, so

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Speaker 1: he is justin You're right in thinking that he is

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Speaker 1: technically the man of the house, no matter how you

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Speaker 1: look at it, no matter what perspective. Now you are

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Speaker 1: you are? How do I say this on the podcast?

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Speaker 1: I suddenly got this flash of people getting pissed at

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Speaker 1: me when I say, you're the leader of your wife,

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Speaker 1: but you are the your wife. Okay, let me flip it.

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Speaker 1: Your wife is should be more loyal to you than

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Speaker 1: her father because you're married. We'll say it that way.

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Speaker 1: That way, I don't have to say any kind of

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Speaker 1: weird dominance thing. What I'm meant to say is she

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Speaker 1: should be more loyal to you than her father, and

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Speaker 1: that happened when you got married. But it puts a

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Speaker 1: weird twist on it because you're living under his roof.

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Speaker 1: So you understand that. Because you're an air force fat

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Speaker 1: you kind of see this. You know about hierarchy and

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Speaker 1: you know about the way this works. And so I

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Speaker 1: believe that your relationship with them and your anger, all

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Speaker 1: that will be restored when you move out right, I

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Speaker 1: would think so, I don't think there's going to be

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Speaker 1: much long lasting pain, but you got to leave before

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Speaker 1: that would potentially happen, because, yeah, you want to leave

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Speaker 1: before it spoils. Yeah, And I would imagine too. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what the relationship is like with the father

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Speaker 1: in law, but need to have open communication with him.

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Speaker 1: If you guys were to talk man to man about

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Speaker 1: kind of boundaries expectations, there may be a sense in

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Speaker 1: which the in laws are frustrated that they're still there too.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but they may be wondering, Hey, what's

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Speaker 1: their game plan, when's when they're when are they launching,

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Speaker 1: when are they leaving? How long is this going to last?

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Speaker 1: Or maybe they're like, we love it our whole families together.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but I think that you know, to

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Speaker 1: initiate a conversation with my father in law about expectations

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Speaker 1: and constantly kind of revisiting that conversation and checking in

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Speaker 1: I think would help alleviate tensions. As long as there's

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Speaker 1: more and more communication, that's a great point. So as

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Speaker 1: an Air Force vet, treated like you're a commanding officer

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Speaker 1: and you're going into the commanding officer and said, sir,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm going to give you a couple of deadlines,

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Speaker 1: and these are my thoughts. What are your thoughts. I

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Speaker 1: think that we should, for various reasons, look at an

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Speaker 1: apartment one betterment apartment, and I want to make sure

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Speaker 1: our relationship stays strong and just build. And man, that's

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Speaker 1: going to cost a lot of money to do that,

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Speaker 1: but I think it's worth it. It's worth it. And

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Speaker 1: you were in California, so moving to Texas it's already

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Speaker 1: going to be way cheaper than that. But I think

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Speaker 1: you say, let's see when of them. This email came

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Speaker 1: in April, so I'm not sure what has happened, but

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Speaker 1: I was probably like, dude, I couldn't last another week.

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Speaker 1: I've been out of there for months. Maybe so, but man,

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Speaker 1: you gotta if this was happening in real time, I

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Speaker 1: would say, you're in like a thirty day know this

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Speaker 1: type thing? The shelf life? Yeah, awesome, appreciate you. Justin

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Speaker 1: let's go to let's go to this one, says mister Smith.

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Speaker 1: In the light of your history degree, do you ever

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Speaker 1: consider being did you ever consider being a history teacher?

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Speaker 1: Would you have been the quintessential history teacher and football coach.

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Speaker 1: Professor Smith funny question, that's that has a good ring?

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Speaker 1: I do. I do love history, and I could. I

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Speaker 1: could see teaching history, I could. Yeah, music stole my

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Speaker 1: heart before any of that could happen. I think I

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Speaker 1: probably would have been in the Middle military before I

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Speaker 1: did that, or maybe both. Maybe it would have been military,

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Speaker 1: come back home, settled down history teacher at the high school,

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Speaker 1: and then football. I love the idea of coaching football.

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Speaker 1: So there's a lot of things that I would have done.

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Speaker 1: I don't believe in anything that would have been because

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Speaker 1: it didn't happen. So it just didn't. But what about you?

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Speaker 1: Is there anything that is there a path it's a

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Speaker 1: young boy that you would have taken outside of the ministry. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to go into the military. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to go into special warfare. My older brother served in

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Speaker 1: the Navy for quite a while and he really turned

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Speaker 1: me on to the special warfare community and kind of

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Speaker 1: helped me picture the you know, the warrior lifestyle. So

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Speaker 1: I thought I was going to do that up until

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Speaker 1: freshman year of college. I was in an ROTC program

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Speaker 1: and just ready to go. And then the Lord word

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Speaker 1: intervened and then re routed me. So definitely wanted to

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Speaker 1: head that direction. So we're similar in that aspect. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna kick it back to you, Chad, struggling

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Speaker 1: with sin? Navy or baby? Did you already say struggling

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Speaker 1: with sin? Yeah's jumping to that, says Hey Granger. I

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Speaker 1: will remain anonymous. I've been battling with lust and sin,

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Speaker 1: and I hope that Pastor Chad is there when you

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Speaker 1: see this, because I've been battling with lust and sin

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Speaker 1: and wondering what is the best way to stop or

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Speaker 1: deal with it. I'm a strong Christian and I know

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Speaker 1: it's wrong, but I keep doing it. I feel like

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Speaker 1: God won't forgive me anymore because I've done it again

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Speaker 1: and again and again. How do I deal with this?

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Speaker 1: Sorry for the long question, So we'll keep him anonymous.

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Speaker 1: It is is a male theological theologically, we know that

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Speaker 1: he will forgive you. Yeah, that's that's the easy question.

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Speaker 1: That's the easy the question, yep. And the idea of

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Speaker 1: here's something that I learned, and I didn't learn it

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Speaker 1: until later in my Christian walk, But this idea of

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Speaker 1: Paul says and Paul's an apostle, one of the early

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Speaker 1: church leaders. He wrote a letter to a group of

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Speaker 1: believers in an area called coloss A. So the Book

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Speaker 1: of Colossians is in the New Testament. And it's interesting

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Speaker 1: because he he loves to use analogies, and so he says,

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Speaker 1: in the same way that you received Christ Jesus, so

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Speaker 1: walk in Him, rooted and built up. And as I

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Speaker 1: chewed on that verse for quite a while, realized that

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Speaker 1: this idea of so I am going to walk in

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Speaker 1: Christ in the same way that I received Jesus. And

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Speaker 1: we receive Christ, and two things happen. There is an

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Speaker 1: acknowledgment of who we are and who Christ is. And

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Speaker 1: in that acknowledgment, when we become aware and our eyes

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Speaker 1: are opened to this reality, we see our self and

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Speaker 1: our sin, and we see Him and his perfection. And

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Speaker 1: so we look at the sin and we say that

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Speaker 1: sin when we see it for what it is, and

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Speaker 1: then we turn from it and trust Him by faith.

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Speaker 1: So faith and repentance are the two key ingredients. When

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Speaker 1: I first receive Christ, those things are present. And what

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Speaker 1: Paul is telling us is, therefore, in the same way

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Speaker 1: you receive Christ, Jesus by faith and repentance. So walk

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Speaker 1: in Him, rooted and built up. So whatever sin struggle

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Speaker 1: you have, one of the things we recognize is once

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Speaker 1: we are in Christ, we don't therefore act righteously or

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Speaker 1: behave in a christ like way in order to maintain

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Speaker 1: our salvation or even to earn more of God's love.

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Speaker 1: But it's a response of faith and repentance every day

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Speaker 1: that when we see sin bubble up in our lives,

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Speaker 1: we go, WHOA, I know, now that's sin, and I

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Speaker 1: need to turn from it to Christ. A lot of times,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I remember struggling as a young man with

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Speaker 1: various temptations in sin, and even today I can get

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Speaker 1: caught up in dwelling on the sin itself and going, man,

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Speaker 1: don't do that, don't do that, don't do that. But

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Speaker 1: as I think and dwell on not doing the sin,

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Speaker 1: I'm still dwelling on the sin, and I'm not dwelling

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Speaker 1: on Christ's So right, man, anonymous emailer, I'll say your

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Speaker 1: question that might be the oldest question that mankind has

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Speaker 1: ever had. It's very common. You're not alone. You were

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Speaker 1: asking one of the top five most common questions that

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Speaker 1: any man has said I'm not, so I'm not suitable

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Speaker 1: for God, and so is he going to forgive me?

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Speaker 1: Like the crazy thing about Christianity is it really happens

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Speaker 1: in the opposite way. It's the only one of the

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Speaker 1: major religions that happens in the opposite way most most people,

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Speaker 1: almost I think every religion other than Christianity is clean

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Speaker 1: yourself up and then go present yourself to God. Christianity

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Speaker 1: is go to God and He will clean you up.

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Speaker 1: And it's even. It starts with you need to realize

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Speaker 1: how unclean you really are. And they start with this, Wow,

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Speaker 1: Chad sitting here behind this microphone, we're buddy, in God's eyes,

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Speaker 1: we're not any better than you. We're all we're all

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Speaker 1: wretched and uh and inherently we're we're sinners. And so

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Speaker 1: what you're doing, here's here's what I could. Here's what

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Speaker 1: Chad said. Let me say what Chad said. Instead of

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Speaker 1: trying to quit doing something, instead of trying to move

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Speaker 1: backwards and stop, instead move forwards towards God, and don't

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Speaker 1: worry about stopping, because He's going to stop it for you.

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Speaker 1: And it's a crazy thing if you are aligned with him.

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Speaker 1: And so how do you be aligned with him. Well,

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Speaker 1: starts with the Bible. It starts with It starts with

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Speaker 1: praying and reading and praying. Part of your prayer is

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Speaker 1: that when you read, you'll understand and that it will

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Speaker 1: those words will matter to you the way that they should.

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Speaker 1: They're inspired, divine words, and you want to pray God.

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Speaker 1: I'm about to open this book and I got all

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Speaker 1: this sin going on, and I know, I know it's

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Speaker 1: not good, but I can't stop it. And God's thinking,

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Speaker 1: I know you can't stop it. You're not supposed to

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Speaker 1: be able to. That's the crazy thing that most people miss.

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Speaker 1: You can't unless you have him. Then he could stop

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Speaker 1: it for you. How does he stop it? Does he sin?

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Speaker 1: Lightning bullets? Not really, he could, but he starts controlling

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Speaker 1: your want to. He starts making you think, ugh, I

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Speaker 1: don't really want to do that, this lustful thing that

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Speaker 1: I've been doing, that I'm addicted to doing. And then

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Speaker 1: the more and more I read the word, the more

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Speaker 1: I pray, the more I listen to him, the less

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Speaker 1: I want to do it. So it's not about trying

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Speaker 1: to quit, and that's hard to quit something. It's hard.

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Speaker 1: It's more about I just don't care anymore. And what

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Speaker 1: you're describing is there is one affection that begins to

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Speaker 1: drive out another affection. Right, one desire gets driven out

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Speaker 1: by another desire, because I mean, we all have temptations,

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Speaker 1: we have appetites and hunger for sin without Christ, and

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Speaker 1: when Christ comes into our life, we see something that's better.

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Speaker 1: But we don't always have that in clear view. We

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Speaker 1: don't always see Christ for who he is and how

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Speaker 1: much better he is and the life that he offers,

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Speaker 1: and how much better it is. And so as we

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Speaker 1: pursue him and seek him, what you're describing is that

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Speaker 1: that we start to push out that desire, and our

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Speaker 1: appetite and our desire for Christ pushes out our desire

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Speaker 1: for these other things that are just far less. They're fake,

428
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: they're empty, they can't actually fulfill, they're very temporary, and

429
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:32,120
Speaker 1: the usually they actually take away what we want rather

430
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: than fulfill what we want. They actually make a greater

431
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 1: deficit in the desire that we have, and so it

432
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 1: doesn't fulfill. And so it's interesting that you talk about

433
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: that consumer and you and I our friendship started over

434
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: a conversation around fasting, and you think that that's one

435
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: of the rare biblical kind of practices that is not

436
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 1: really talked about a lot. I mean it's gaining pop

437
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:04,959
Speaker 1: popularity now in like health circles and fitness for innernat fasting,

438
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: and people are seeing the benefits. But before it was

439
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 1: seen as a health benefit, it's always been a biblical

440
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:16,439
Speaker 1: concept that God assumed his people would do because it

441
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: was a gift to them. That you're in fasting your desire,

442
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: You're stoking the fires of one hunger, which is for God,

443
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: and allowing that hunger to drive out other things. And

444
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 1: one of my mentors, an older pastor early in my

445
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 1: time as a pastor, he encouraged me to take on

446
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 1: regular fasting. And I'm not talking about social media fasting,

447
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm talking about fasting from food because one

448
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 1: of the base desires we have is food, and so

449
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 1: if we can keep that hunger at bay, we see

450
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 1: great success in other hungers. And your own story about

451
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,439
Speaker 1: fasting and the way that that played a role in

452
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: your your life as a musician on the road touring

453
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 1: and what it's done, I think is a sweet story

454
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: you need to tell. Yeah. Yeah, And Chad and I

455
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 1: have talked about fasting together is a big deal. To

456
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 1: have that accountability. So to this email or fasting is

457
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 1: actually a good idea. I don't know how old he is.

458
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to recommend it. If he's twelve years old,

459
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 1: thirteen years old, I hope I don't think he is.

460
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: But yeah that I think. Here's your deal tonight. You

461
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 1: just pray. You just say God. I mess up. I

462
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,719
Speaker 1: mess up every day and I can't. I can't seem

463
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 1: to stop it. This fleshly desire, this worldly desire, just

464
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 1: fall right back into this pattern. And I've tried and

465
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 1: I can't take it from me. You take it, You

466
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 1: take it, and I'm going to lean into you. And

467
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: when I feel this way, I'm gonna say this prayer again.

468
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: And then I'm gonna open up my Bible. I'm gonna

469
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 1: start somewhere in the goth And I know that people

470
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 1: say this is crazy and the Bible can't be read,

471
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 1: and it's weird, it's it's it doesn't even make any sense.

472
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 1: But I'm going to find me a good one. And

473
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 1: I'm going to start right here at John One. I'm

474
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 1: gonna start reading it, and then if I don't understand it,

475
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say God, I'll understand this, Help me understand

476
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: it and lean into him. Start stop thinking about going

477
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:26,880
Speaker 1: back and cleaning up yourself. You can't lean into him

478
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 1: and keep throwing that prayer up. There also some practical

479
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 1: things I talk with young guys, and this is stuff

480
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 1: that I put in place when I was younger and

481
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 1: wrestling with similar stuff, and that is you, first of all,

482
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: have to identify what are the conditions around which that

483
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: temptation comes. What's the trigger? What is it something you see?

484
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: Is it something on your social media? Is it watching

485
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: a certain show? Is it when you see certain people?

486
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 1: But identify what's that trigger point and try to off

487
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 1: that source. Try to be mindful before that temptation comes.

488
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 1: How can you set yourself up to avoid that or

489
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: to stop that, you know, from coming into play. Also,

490
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 1: have somebody that you can talk openly about this stuff with.

491
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 1: The deep lie that we believe is that I can't

492
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 1: share this with anybody because if I did, everyone would

493
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 1: stop being my friend or they wouldn't want to be

494
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: around me. And the enemy wins when we keep it

495
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 1: in the dark. But when we expose this kind of

496
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 1: dark sin into the light, it stops having power. And

497
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: it's the teeth are taken out of it when it

498
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 1: starts to be exposed. And so find somebody you can

499
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 1: kind of be openly able to confess this to and

500
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,719
Speaker 1: talk with and that they're going to hold you accountable

501
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: and not somebody that's just going to go, hey, I understand, buddy,

502
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 1: you know, but somebody's going to go, hey, okay, what's

503
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 1: your plan? How we going to work through this? And

504
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 1: even if it's just me and Chad, yep, that's right,

505
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 1: email back and we'll wrap it up with this fasting

506
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 1: because fasting. Everything we've said this is fasting is a

507
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 1: good practice for all this because one of the many

508
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: benefits of it spiritual fasting is every time you feel hungry,

509
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 1: you say God, it reminds you, you go, God, I

510
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 1: hunger for you. You You alone, fulfill me, you alone, satisfied me,

511
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: You alone make me feel whole. And then your stomach

512
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: growls and you feel it again and you get to

513
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 1: practice it all over again, and it fasting. When you're

514
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 1: fasting with food, it represents anything else that the world

515
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: makes you crave. And it could represent anything. It could

516
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: represent the lust that you're talking about, or it could

517
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 1: be alcohol, could be anything that you need, and then

518
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 1: you you fast with food because it's so easy to do.

519
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's not easy. It's so common because

520
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 1: you eat every day, so it's just it's like clockwork.

521
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: You just you start missing a couple of meals and

522
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 1: your body screams at you and goes, what are you doing?

523
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 1: Feed me? You always feed me. Now you're not feeding me.

524
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 1: And that's speaking as if it's any other kind of

525
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: addiction of the world. And you go, no, your brain,

526
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: you use your mind, and your mind calms you and goes, no, God,

527
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: you alone, satisfy me. Now, don't get stupid with this

528
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 1: and go for forty days or anything. Guys, Yeah, it

529
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: starts slow. Would start slow. And what I recommend is

530
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 1: when I talk about fasting with new believers or people

531
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 1: just starting out, is take if you're a breakfast eater,

532
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: just take that first day and instead of breakfast, go

533
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 1: find a place where it's quiet and you can be

534
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 1: without distraction and either throw some headphones in and listen

535
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 1: to some worship music or spend some time praying asking

536
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 1: the Lord for help. But instead of eating, take the

537
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 1: time you would normally eat to be with the Lord.

538
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 1: Read the scripture worship Him. And then if you've done

539
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 1: it over one meal, and next time, you want to

540
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: try doing it for breakfast and lunch and so on.

541
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 1: So forarth, start building that muscle memory around fasting, because

542
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: there's nothing that God has provided us quite like fasting

543
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: that fosters humility better than that good stuff. We'll take

544
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 1: a break, be right back. Podcast has brought to you

545
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Speaker 1: back to you. Kept Navy or baby Bible question finding friends,

621
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 1: brain or soul. I'm in a predicament and no subject? Man, Well,

622
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,240
Speaker 1: we already kind of spoke to an air Force question.

623
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 1: We definitely got into the Bible a little bit. What's

624
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 1: no subject? That's kind of one of these behind door

625
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 1: number says. I'm a twelve year old boy who hunts ducks,

626
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:22,320
Speaker 1: goose hunts, archery, deer hunts, squirrel hunts, rabbit hunts. I

627
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 1: also make and sell duck calls, ride four wheelers, love bass, fishing, woodworking, taxidermy,

628
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,800
Speaker 1: and make most of the stuff that I want I make. However,

629
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,399
Speaker 1: I'm kind of lost now after my grandpa, who got

630
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,800
Speaker 1: me into hunting, passed away a couple of weeks ago.

631
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 1: I really just have no idea what to do now,

632
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 1: and I kind of feel like I don't have much

633
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 1: else to try, and I feel like everything I do,

634
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 1: I just get mad at myself. And every day I

635
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:53,279
Speaker 1: don't do anything productive. And one thing my grandpa would

636
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 1: say is don't let school get in the way of

637
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: your education. I was wondering if you think I should

638
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 1: focus on my business or just to do kids stuff.

639
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,320
Speaker 1: And if you want to see some of the stuff

640
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,760
Speaker 1: I've done, you can check out my Instagram pages. Dirty

641
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:15,359
Speaker 1: Water game calls so doesn't say his name twelve years old?

642
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:21,880
Speaker 1: Twelve years old? Yeah, oh man, his emails Albino Goose

643
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 1: and so I'm pretty sure that's not his name. It's

644
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: lost to Grandpa. That is. This is another one of

645
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,799
Speaker 1: these very common It doesn't hey, guys, it doesn't make

646
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 1: it easier that it's common. It's just his losing that

647
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: This is something that most everyone will go through, is

648
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,840
Speaker 1: losing to grandpa. And like I said, doesn't make it

649
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,840
Speaker 1: any easier. It's still it's still devastating, especially to a

650
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 1: twelve year old boy who learned all of this stuff,

651
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: this outdoor stuff from his grandpa. And then the first

652
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 1: thing I'll say is you're blessed that you had a

653
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,919
Speaker 1: grandpa that was able to get you outdoors and teach

654
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 1: you all these these great things. And the price that

655
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 1: you're paying now this grief that you're you're dealing with

656
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 1: now is the price of how much you loved them.

657
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,839
Speaker 1: It's it's correlated how much how much you grieve, It's

658
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 1: correlated with how much you loved. So the more you love,

659
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:24,960
Speaker 1: the more you're going to grieve. And certainly you don't

660
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,839
Speaker 1: want to lose out on the love, so you'll you'll

661
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 1: take the grief. Yeah, And it's it's understandable that you know,

662
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 1: it kind of feels like a gut punch and you

663
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,800
Speaker 1: don't really feel like doing anything, and he can feel lost,

664
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 1: especially when you lose somebody that's had such a big

665
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,759
Speaker 1: impact on you, and it's right to miss them. It's

666
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 1: right to mourn there that they're gone. And I can

667
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 1: imagine it's hard when you go and engage in those

668
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:58,320
Speaker 1: activities and you're outdoors doing things that your grandpa tatia

669
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 1: and you knew that he loved that it hurts too

670
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 1: because you think about him and that he's not there. Eventually,

671
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 1: it won't always feel like that. It's not always going

672
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 1: to feel like that. You are going to be able

673
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 1: to return to doing the things that you enjoyed with

674
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 1: your grandpa, And so don't lose sight of the fact

675
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:22,320
Speaker 1: that you know, those are things that you get to

676
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 1: enjoy again and may still enjoy. But first of all,

677
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 1: it's okay to grieve, it's okay to mourn, and there's

678
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 1: no set time that that it's right or wrong to

679
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 1: do that. You take the time that you need. Yeah,

680
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,800
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks thing, that's you're you're just in

681
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:43,879
Speaker 1: the heat of it right now. So there's no there's

682
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 1: nothing you saying that you've been unproductive. It's totally fine

683
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: and totally understandable. It's and then it's gonna it's gonna

684
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 1: get hot again. It's going to get hard again in

685
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,879
Speaker 1: the fall, you know, and this when it's uh duck

686
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 1: season again, it's season again. It's gonna get tough again

687
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:07,399
Speaker 1: for you. And then every year will slowly start going

688
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 1: by and you'll feel better about it, and you'll feel

689
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: better about it. You won't you won't move on from

690
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 1: your grandpa. He's always going to be with you in

691
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:17,959
Speaker 1: your mind. But you're gonna move forward, and you're gonna

692
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,479
Speaker 1: go on and you're gonna take steps, and you're gonna

693
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,320
Speaker 1: get older, and then you're gonna start applying what he

694
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: taught you to other people. Around you. Yes, that's a

695
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,359
Speaker 1: great point. That one of the ways that you can

696
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:34,240
Speaker 1: honor your grandpa and enjoy the things that you enjoyed

697
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 1: with him is pass it along. I don't think you're

698
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 1: too young to start teaching somebody else, a buddy or

699
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:43,320
Speaker 1: or maybe a cousin or somebody that's younger than you.

700
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 1: Just start teaching them what you've learned, and to pass

701
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 1: that along and enjoy things with them. And when people

702
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 1: say why'd you learn that, give them a big old

703
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 1: grin and say, my grandpa, and that that's going to

704
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,120
Speaker 1: just feel so good in your heart because you just

705
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 1: passed on something from him and you that's gonna that's

706
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 1: gonna help you so much, and you're you're gonna be

707
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 1: just fine. Buddy. I'm sorry for your loss, but you're

708
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 1: you're you're in a good place. As far as should

709
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 1: I focus on my business or do kids stuff? What

710
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 1: if you're doing business as a kid, you're still doing

711
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 1: kids stuff, So that makes you happy. If you enjoy

712
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 1: making duck calls, that's not a business, not yet at least,

713
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 1: So yeah, man, if you love making duck calls and

714
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 1: doing that kind of thing, have fun with it. That's

715
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 1: a good word, so bible, question, finding friends, brain or soul.

716
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,800
Speaker 1: I'm in a predicament Navy or baby, Navy or baby.

717
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:45,839
Speaker 1: No one keeps coming out. Okay, here we go, it says.

718
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 1: My name is Avery. I'm thirty three from southern California.

719
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 1: First of all, thank you. I'm a loyal listener. I've

720
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,879
Speaker 1: listened to every single podcast. My heart genuinely feels full

721
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,359
Speaker 1: to it all. I'm trying my best to keep this short.

722
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,359
Speaker 1: I pull off my dream of the military. Ten years ago,

723
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 1: post college, my dad had a severe stroke. I quit

724
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:12,279
Speaker 1: my job and moved to be with my parents. When

725
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: things became more stable with my dad, I jumped back

726
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: into work. Years have been going by and my husband

727
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 1: now and through both and though both of us have

728
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 1: been working and saving relentlessly, we were feeling the financial response.

729
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 1: Excuse me, we're feeling the financial possibilities of having a baby,

730
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 1: and we're feeling like that could be getting further and

731
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,719
Speaker 1: further away, shifting gears a bit. When a pandemic hit,

732
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:38,839
Speaker 1: it struck a chord with me, and I realized how

733
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 1: much I needed to revive my military dream, even if

734
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 1: it's just in the reserves. So I've been pursuing the

735
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 1: Navy for a year now, but things keep happening. My dad,

736
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:52,280
Speaker 1: my husband lost his dad unexpectedly. I broke my foot

737
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 1: then tore some ligaments training, and I'm just at a

738
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,800
Speaker 1: point where I'm trying to be real realistic with myself.

739
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 1: At what point do I let go knowing that as

740
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 1: a female that we don't have all the time in

741
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 1: the world to have a family. Do I wait and

742
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,399
Speaker 1: go back into the military. What do you guys think?

743
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:22,439
Speaker 1: Loved everybody? Avery h So that last thing, it says,

744
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: did I wait too long to go back to the military?

745
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:31,879
Speaker 1: So she's does she say her age thirty three? Thirty three?

746
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 1: She did? Yeah, thirty three. They're feeling the financial possibilities

747
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,879
Speaker 1: of having a baby are getting further away. I don't

748
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: like that sentence. I don't know. I don't I'm confused

749
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 1: by it. But it sounds like maybe they're in a

750
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: position now where they could be comfortable, like in their minds,

751
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 1: comfortable at having a baby. It says years have been

752
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:04,040
Speaker 1: going by with my husband now, and though both of

753
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,800
Speaker 1: us have been working and saving relentlessly, we're feeling the

754
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 1: financial possibilities of having a baby geting further away. It

755
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 1: sounds like they feel like they don't have enough money

756
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 1: right to start a family, and I just want to

757
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 1: I always want to rebuke that, but because that's just this,

758
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 1: there's this mentality, there's modern mentality of like, man, you

759
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,760
Speaker 1: got to you gotta save a ton of money for kids,

760
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 1: And honestly, daycare is what's causing that. We we've been

761
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 1: we've we haven't ever had daycare for my kids. But

762
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 1: when I talk to friends that have, it's like twelve

763
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 1: hundred dollars a kid in some places. Yeah, so if

764
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 1: you have two or three, it's a big deal. So

765
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 1: I think because diapers and formula, it's it's it's not

766
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: that much, you know. I think you're right to count

767
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:00,840
Speaker 1: the cost, right you want to go, Okay, are we

768
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 1: in a position where this would be irresponsible and we

769
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 1: can't make ends meet now as it is? But I

770
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:14,800
Speaker 1: also think like they'll sound like that couple. No, I

771
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 1: would say, there is nothing more difficult and yet more

772
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 1: rewarding than being a parent. It's when I got married

773
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 1: that was the first step in realizing just how selfish

774
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,320
Speaker 1: I was. Like, when you start sharing life with somebody

775
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 1: else and sharing everything with them, you realize real quickly

776
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 1: just how self centered you are, and you've got to

777
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 1: wrestle with that and die to self a lot. And

778
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:51,240
Speaker 1: then we had our first child, and true it's born,

779
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 1: and I'm like, if I don't intervene like constantly in

780
00:46:56,800 --> 00:47:00,800
Speaker 1: his life, he's not going to live. So like my

781
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 1: focus had to be about him and helping him and

782
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 1: serving him, and so my wife and I and so

783
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:10,320
Speaker 1: having kids is going to accentuate any issues you have

784
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 1: in your relationship, in your marriage. It doesn't solve, it

785
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 1: doesn't fix. It's not it's it's you take that step

786
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 1: if you think you're bold enough and brave enough to

787
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: die to self and to live a life of self sacrifice,

788
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,360
Speaker 1: because that's what parenting really is all about. Yeah, So

789
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 1: she says, at what point do I let go as

790
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:33,360
Speaker 1: a female that we don't have all the time in

791
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: the world to have a family. Are she saying, at

792
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 1: what point do I just say we're not going to

793
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 1: have a family, let go as a female, knowing that

794
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 1: that's a biological clock is? I guess? So I think

795
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,760
Speaker 1: that's what she's saying. And at thirty three, she's not wrong,

796
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,960
Speaker 1: especially if there's no plan right now, which means you're

797
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,840
Speaker 1: a couple of years from having a baby if you

798
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:06,319
Speaker 1: started now. So man, I'm going to lean if you're

799
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 1: just the once again, this is a campfire conversations me Avery, Chad.

800
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 1: I'm going to say, you drop everything to have the baby. Yeah,

801
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 1: I'm in that corner. I'm on team baby if the baby,

802
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 1: if it doesn't happen, if you don't conceive, and you

803
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 1: pass your biological clock, then you got the rest of

804
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:28,320
Speaker 1: your life to go and do what you wanted to do,

805
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 1: what you thought you were going to do with this

806
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 1: military or adopt or foster or Yeah, that but that absolutely,

807
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:41,320
Speaker 1: I'm so pro family, and yeah, have kids and the

808
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 1: love that you and your husband have and share, expand

809
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: the boundaries on that and and start bringing others into

810
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:51,399
Speaker 1: that through parenting. Yeah, I'm all for it. That's that's

811
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 1: my you know, whether you like it or not, that's

812
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: my drop everything and put all the eggs in that basket.

813
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 1: No pun intended. They Okay, so we're gonna go back

814
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,239
Speaker 1: to you want me to pick one of these things. Yeah,

815
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:08,320
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go. I'm in a predicament. Yeah, hey, Granger,

816
00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 1: money is Aaron, Let's see. No, I already did that.

817
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:18,799
Speaker 1: One did that on how about brain or soul? That's

818
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:23,920
Speaker 1: that's what brain or soul like that one says I've

819
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 1: loved your music for a few years now. I don't know.

820
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:29,360
Speaker 1: I didn't know you until recently that you had a podcast,

821
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 1: and I've absolutely love it. I've been watching episodes every day,

822
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 1: sometimes two a day on YouTube, every single night. I

823
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 1: love the around the camp fire field. It feels like

824
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: sort of a fellowship for me and something I crave

825
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 1: as a way to unwind after work each evening. Anyway,

826
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,320
Speaker 1: my question is in regard to the podcast that you

827
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 1: had in early April. The topic of the question you're

828
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,320
Speaker 1: answering was suicide, and I was wondering your opinion on

829
00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 1: this is the trauma people may experience in life that

830
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:05,279
Speaker 1: leads to suicide, perhaps more trauma to the soul than

831
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: it is to the brain. I know. I've struggled with

832
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:10,479
Speaker 1: suicide a few different times in my life over the years,

833
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 1: and the only way I got through those times was

834
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 1: by leaning into God and by being out in nature.

835
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,320
Speaker 1: Looking back, for me, I believe it was damaging to

836
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 1: the soul, but that's just me. I don't know. Hopefully,

837
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 1: diving into this question may help a listener out there somewhere.

838
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 1: PS please do a show in Colorado some time, Anthony, So,

839
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 1: have you talked about suicide before on the podcast? Yeah,

840
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 1: I don't remember this episode that he was referring to.

841
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 1: But I've dealt with suicide a lot. I say a lot.

842
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 1: I've dealt with suicide a fair amount, and it's typically

843
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 1: military related. I did a documentary in twenty eighteen and

844
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 1: it featured five fallen soldiers and I walked one hundred

845
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 1: miles twenty miles for each soldier and featured who they

846
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:05,840
Speaker 1: were in their lives. And one of the one of

847
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 1: the guys that was lost, was a suicide. And so

848
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: through the through this research that we did for the documentary,

849
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 1: we had to learn and this this particular soldier, it

850
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 1: was clear that he was he was damaged mentally like

851
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 1: his physical brain. His physical brain was fine, Okay, he

852
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 1: saw and did things that did some kind of neurological

853
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:40,759
Speaker 1: damage that's undetectable because he became a different person. He

854
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 1: lived a different life, He reacted differently, talked differently. He

855
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 1: was not the same person before the injury. It's something

856
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:52,479
Speaker 1: I learned that, Wow, this is actually you could see

857
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:57,040
Speaker 1: that not all injuries are visible in an MRI. And

858
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 1: when a guy comes back without a leg in Afghanistan,

859
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 1: you could instantly know, Okay, this guy, you know he

860
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:05,760
Speaker 1: served and he did this, and this is his story.

861
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 1: But when a guy comes back physically fine, you kind

862
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 1: of tend to just put him back into society as

863
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: if he doesn't need a ramp or a wheelchair or

864
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:18,680
Speaker 1: assistance in anything. You just give him a job and

865
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:23,240
Speaker 1: say go and so and then I've seen that story

866
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 1: repeat itself many times. That's why we have such a

867
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 1: high number of suicides that are military related. So the

868
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 1: question is a deep one brain or soul? Is it?

869
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:40,279
Speaker 1: Is it? He said? Is it more trauma to the

870
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:42,480
Speaker 1: soul than it is to the brain. So so what

871
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say is it's trauma to the brain. And

872
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that from a from a Christian perspective

873
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:56,080
Speaker 1: that that the Bible says fear the one that could

874
00:52:56,800 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: that could destroy your soul, which is God. I don't think.

875
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:06,800
Speaker 1: I don't think we're capable of destroying our soul. You

876
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 1: don't think we can damage it? Well, because we I

877
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:21,480
Speaker 1: think biblically and philosophically we are souls that have bodies.

878
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 1: Our soul animates our body, and I think that there

879
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 1: is a connection between the two that is really difficult

880
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 1: to explain. That's it. There's a connection between these two things.

881
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 1: So the Anthony might be, like this question, might be

882
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 1: saying the same thing. It's suicide more trauma to the

883
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 1: soul than it is to the brain. There's a connection

884
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:48,560
Speaker 1: between that you can't and we don't just we just

885
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:53,040
Speaker 1: don't know the extent of that connection and how that works.

886
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 1: So so back to me when I said you can't

887
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 1: see it on the MRI, maybe that maybe that's the

888
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 1: damage to the soul because you can't see the soul.

889
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 1: So maybe you're right, this is a soul issue, which

890
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:09,239
Speaker 1: is actually what Anthony's arguing here. And then you get

891
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:11,560
Speaker 1: into the nuance between what's the difference between a spirit

892
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 1: and a soul. What you actually study this stuff in

893
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:17,160
Speaker 1: undergrad as a philosophy major, and I did my final

894
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 1: thesis paper on philosophy of the mind and all that

895
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:24,960
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, and there's just a lot of different

896
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:28,240
Speaker 1: opinions and approaches to what we can and can't understand.

897
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 1: But I strongly believe in the metaphysical realm, like the

898
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:36,120
Speaker 1: soul and the spirit and you know those kind of things,

899
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 1: and they're deeply connected to the physical and I think

900
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: they both influence each other and we just don't understand it.

901
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 1: So I agree. I think it's damage and it has effect,

902
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:53,399
Speaker 1: and there are some things that only God can heal. Yeah,

903
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:57,840
Speaker 1: Jesus says, I will give you rest for your souls.

904
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:04,799
Speaker 1: It's so. So then you wonder, is that the only

905
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:08,360
Speaker 1: recovery that a soul could have, a damaged soul could have,

906
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 1: is the only recovery to come to Christ. That's what

907
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:22,000
Speaker 1: he says. Yes, it's deep, deep, that's for the other podcast. Yeah,

908
00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:27,440
Speaker 1: this is deep. I mean, that's I'm interested in some

909
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 1: If you're watching on YouTube and you see some comments

910
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:32,400
Speaker 1: on this, I'm sure we'll kind of see both sides.

911
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:36,839
Speaker 1: What is the connection of the brain and the soul.

912
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:39,800
Speaker 1: There is a you could you could biblically make a

913
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 1: lot of connections between the brain and the soul. But

914
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:47,760
Speaker 1: if you're damaged enough to be suicidal, which is usually

915
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:53,360
Speaker 1: typically suicide happens from a chain of events that have

916
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 1: happened or seeing or done. So if you can't see

917
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:02,880
Speaker 1: it on a scan if you can't see a chunk

918
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 1: of the brain missing, but there is a I have

919
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 1: seen it with my own eyes. There is damage to

920
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:14,239
Speaker 1: a person that happens from PTSD. There's something you could

921
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:17,719
Speaker 1: you could do something. Let me just put it in perspective. Well,

922
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 1: I just wrote a song. I just did this. I

923
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:24,280
Speaker 1: worked with this company, this really cool disabled vet organization

924
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:28,960
Speaker 1: that brings in songwriters and writes songs with disabled bets

925
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 1: as a healing process. You tell their story through the music.

926
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:35,320
Speaker 1: It's called Creative Vets. It's a really cool deal. So

927
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:38,200
Speaker 1: that the one I did I wrote with a marine

928
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 1: a Marine VET that was the father of a suicide victim,

929
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:47,720
Speaker 1: his son Chris. The one we wrote the story about.

930
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:52,759
Speaker 1: His story is he was in Iraq and it was

931
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:55,120
Speaker 1: I hear this so many times when I hear the

932
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:58,360
Speaker 1: suicide military suicide, that you hear a story of a

933
00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:01,920
Speaker 1: young man that's just full of life, like the the

934
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 1: class clown in high school, very always outgoing and brave.

935
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:09,000
Speaker 1: Because those are usually the guys that end up on

936
00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 1: the front lines. Those are usually the personality traits that

937
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:16,919
Speaker 1: get you kicking indoors in urban warfare. I could see that, Yeah,

938
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:20,439
Speaker 1: you're not a desk guy. If you're yo, hey, what's

939
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 1: the life of the life of the room wherever you are,

940
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:26,200
Speaker 1: You're the guy I think gets on the in the

941
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:29,440
Speaker 1: you know, in the hum vy and you're out there.

942
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:31,959
Speaker 1: You're the first one out of the door, the first

943
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,080
Speaker 1: one kicking in the door. You're the first one. So

944
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,480
Speaker 1: that so anyway, the story that's got Chris, he's that

945
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:41,120
Speaker 1: kind of guy. And one day they're they're out on

946
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:43,920
Speaker 1: a convoy and they have to go into a building

947
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:48,080
Speaker 1: and a run down part of Iraq in the city.

948
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 1: They kick open a door. There's a there's a known

949
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:56,040
Speaker 1: Taliban guy in here in this building. They're looking for

950
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 1: him and kicking the door and they see him. There's

951
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:01,640
Speaker 1: the Taliban guys. They're in the room. They have their

952
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 1: hands up. These guys they were Marines. They're off their

953
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,720
Speaker 1: guns on them. And a little girl comes from between

954
00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 1: the talabana starts coming right at him and they're screaming

955
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 1: at her stop stop stop. She's like nine years old

956
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 1: and she's coming at him without stopping, and he pulls

957
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:23,240
Speaker 1: the trigger shoots it right between the eyes. She falls.

958
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 1: He looks back at the same time and looks behind

959
00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:30,120
Speaker 1: him and there's a little doll on the ground behind him.

960
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 1: She was coming to get the doll, and that killed him. Essentially,

961
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:43,320
Speaker 1: he returned home, he re entered civilian lifestyle. He could

962
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 1: not stop seeing that little girl. And usually when you

963
00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: hear these kind of stories of suicide, it's typically not

964
00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:55,240
Speaker 1: something that you witnessed, it's something you did. That's the

965
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:58,880
Speaker 1: hardest thing, from my understanding, the hardest maybe that's the

966
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:02,480
Speaker 1: sole damage thing is when you do it. You did

967
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:06,800
Speaker 1: it that I've heard. There was the documentary We made

968
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:10,600
Speaker 1: the guy ran over a child on purpose because they

969
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 1: were blocking the convoy and they they were creating a threat,

970
00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 1: an unknown threat. And as we know, this little girl

971
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:18,959
Speaker 1: could have had a grenade in her pocket. The little

972
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:22,360
Speaker 1: girl could have could have killed any one of the

973
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 1: men that were with him. They know that, we've known

974
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:33,880
Speaker 1: that since since the World War One? So is that

975
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 1: how you damage your soul? And I, yeah, I think

976
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:47,160
Speaker 1: that the only repair, the only restoration that can come

977
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:53,080
Speaker 1: for for soul damage comes through Jesus Christ. Jesus says,

978
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:55,400
Speaker 1: come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,

979
00:59:56,080 --> 01:00:04,640
Speaker 1: and I will give you rest. It's the only way. Yeah, yeah,

980
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:08,480
Speaker 1: take my yoke and learn from me from gentle and

981
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 1: humble and heart, humble and heart, and you will have

982
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:18,160
Speaker 1: rest for your souls. So that's a good word. So

983
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:20,920
Speaker 1: last time I was here, we got a question about

984
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 1: you covering like a gospel song. Did you get any

985
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 1: feedback on that? Yeah, I think a lot of people. Yeah,

986
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:38,440
Speaker 1: do it. So I have to go back. You wanted

987
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:40,400
Speaker 1: to hit one more here, and we'll let everybody get

988
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:43,120
Speaker 1: back to their their evening or the morning or whenever

989
01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:45,480
Speaker 1: they watch. Shout out to every Shout out to the

990
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:50,080
Speaker 1: commuters and the over the road truckers and the would

991
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:51,880
Speaker 1: that guy say he'd liked to unwind and listen to

992
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:59,920
Speaker 1: it in the evenings after work, finding friends or Bible

993
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:04,919
Speaker 1: question your call, Chad. The pressure's on you will jump

994
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:09,240
Speaker 1: into finding friends. Okay, Hello Grangeer. My name is Tony.

995
01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:12,320
Speaker 1: I'm twenty two. I'm from Surrey, UK. Love your podcast.

996
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:15,440
Speaker 1: It's really maybe changed the way I look at certain

997
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 1: things and act. And I've seen sent several episodes to

998
01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:21,600
Speaker 1: friends and family for them to watch and hopes that

999
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:23,720
Speaker 1: they would appreciate the show as much as I do.

1000
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:28,280
Speaker 1: My question is I'm pretty lonely at the moment. And

1001
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,680
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do about it. I don't

1002
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 1: have a girlfriend. I've distanced myself from all my friends

1003
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 1: after realizing they weren't good company. I do know, I

1004
01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:42,320
Speaker 1: do not know how I can make friends with new people.

1005
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 1: The only time I go out is either with my

1006
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:48,120
Speaker 1: family or by myself out in the country. So there

1007
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,040
Speaker 1: really isn't a chance for me to meet new people.

1008
01:01:50,160 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 1: Any advice or any of your own personal experiences that

1009
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 1: could help me, ye yee for life, Tony from UK.

1010
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:01,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I just think growing up I moved around

1011
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:05,440
Speaker 1: a few times, and as an adult, my family and

1012
01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:08,440
Speaker 1: I we've moved to different locations around the country. And

1013
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:15,080
Speaker 1: for us, it happens around common interests. If there's stuff

1014
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:18,320
Speaker 1: that we like to do, we tend to meet people

1015
01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:22,680
Speaker 1: when we go do stuff. You know, and this may

1016
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:27,479
Speaker 1: be the obvious pastoral answer, but we also find deep

1017
01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:32,240
Speaker 1: friendships through church and getting involved in a local church

1018
01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 1: and doing things outside of church with those people that

1019
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:38,880
Speaker 1: we attend church with or the people that are a

1020
01:02:38,920 --> 01:02:41,960
Speaker 1: part of the church that we're with. But yeah, and

1021
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:45,320
Speaker 1: then when you start having kids, you start they start

1022
01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 1: doing extracurricular things, and so when your kids are involved

1023
01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 1: in something. You're standing there with other parents whose kids

1024
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:55,600
Speaker 1: are also interested in involved in things. So friendship tends

1025
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:59,880
Speaker 1: to happen around activities and mutual interests. And so that's

1026
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:02,080
Speaker 1: or I would tend to go. Yeah, I agree. I

1027
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 1: don't know where Surre is Surre in the UK or

1028
01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:09,040
Speaker 1: how big a talent it is, But you say any

1029
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:13,360
Speaker 1: advice or your or your own personal experience, Well, I am.

1030
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:15,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if this is a

1031
01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:20,320
Speaker 1: parent or not, but I'm I'm generally introverted when it

1032
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:23,960
Speaker 1: comes to social events, like I'm not. I've never been

1033
01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:27,400
Speaker 1: the guy that's like, where's a party tonight? It takes

1034
01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:30,280
Speaker 1: a lot to get me out. She kind of a homebody.

1035
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:34,320
Speaker 1: I'm kind of a homebody and I would rather just

1036
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 1: could we just cook something here? You know? And So

1037
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:43,640
Speaker 1: my point to being, if you're truly lonely, like you're saying,

1038
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:47,160
Speaker 1: and you need it, you kind of crave that that relationship,

1039
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to step out and be a little

1040
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:51,560
Speaker 1: bit uncomfortable and go, you know what, I'm gonna go

1041
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:55,720
Speaker 1: to this soccer game. That's what we say here, Tony,

1042
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:58,080
Speaker 1: we say soccer. I want to go to this soccer

1043
01:03:58,200 --> 01:04:02,400
Speaker 1: game by myself, you know, and it's gonna be that's

1044
01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:06,920
Speaker 1: gonna be awkward and weird. But the reward you can

1045
01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:09,760
Speaker 1: get out of that by mingling and finding some people

1046
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:11,400
Speaker 1: and they're yelling for the same team, and you go,

1047
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:13,920
Speaker 1: where are you guys from? And they live down the

1048
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:17,919
Speaker 1: road and so do I, and then you start this relationship.

1049
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:22,080
Speaker 1: And it might take a little effort, it might take

1050
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:24,320
Speaker 1: and might take some being some awkward. You might want

1051
01:04:24,360 --> 01:04:27,480
Speaker 1: to go to your local pub, you know, and order

1052
01:04:27,520 --> 01:04:30,640
Speaker 1: your favorite I'm trying to think of some things here.

1053
01:04:30,880 --> 01:04:33,040
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of some British things here. You're

1054
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:37,640
Speaker 1: gonna bangers and mash and fish and chips. Yeah, you know,

1055
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:40,280
Speaker 1: go to the Golden Chippy now that's in London and

1056
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:44,600
Speaker 1: uh yeah the pub pub. Yeah, get you some fish

1057
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:49,320
Speaker 1: and chips and and you got to just start conversations.

1058
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:52,480
Speaker 1: It's tough for an introvert. It sounds like that's what

1059
01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:55,360
Speaker 1: you are. It's tough to's just start a conversation with

1060
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:58,840
Speaker 1: a perfect stranger, or to go somewhere by Some people

1061
01:04:58,920 --> 01:05:03,600
Speaker 1: think going somewhere by themselves it's humiliating. I love it,

1062
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:07,040
Speaker 1: but I love going to eat by myself and there's

1063
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:10,040
Speaker 1: a way to go. And yes, it's it feels awkward

1064
01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:11,720
Speaker 1: to you, it may not be awkward to other people.

1065
01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:14,200
Speaker 1: But then there are ways you can make it creepy.

1066
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:17,400
Speaker 1: So if you go to this soccer game, don't be

1067
01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:20,720
Speaker 1: like all like in people's personal space or staring at

1068
01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:24,400
Speaker 1: them and then lead with will you be my friend? Like,

1069
01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:26,320
Speaker 1: you don't want to be that guy either, because that's

1070
01:05:26,480 --> 01:05:29,080
Speaker 1: just creepy. What we're skipping around here at with Chad

1071
01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:31,600
Speaker 1: and I, what we're really thinking is go to church

1072
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:35,360
Speaker 1: and become a member of a small group you're going

1073
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:41,080
Speaker 1: to have. If you have theological things in common, then

1074
01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:46,240
Speaker 1: friendships will will blossom through that. So you're now hearing

1075
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:48,680
Speaker 1: the first time in the podcast the garage door going up.

1076
01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:52,960
Speaker 1: This is the new space. This is a sweet dat.

1077
01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:56,560
Speaker 1: I like it. Bertie came in. The first thing Bertie

1078
01:05:56,600 --> 01:06:00,320
Speaker 1: said was where's the blue lord? Yeah, the blue board.

1079
01:06:02,120 --> 01:06:07,160
Speaker 1: But it's appropriate that you're now the second the second guest, Tony.

1080
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:09,840
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, buddy. I hope you find your friends.

1081
01:06:10,840 --> 01:06:13,560
Speaker 1: We all need connection, and this past year we've all

1082
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:17,520
Speaker 1: learned more than ever. Humans are built for connection. We're

1083
01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:22,000
Speaker 1: built to have friends and family, and in Okinawa, I

1084
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:26,760
Speaker 1: think I've read the Okinawa has the most centurions that

1085
01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:29,520
Speaker 1: you say it people living over the age of one hundred,

1086
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:34,560
Speaker 1: more than any other country. And the only thing we

1087
01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:38,080
Speaker 1: could really trace it to is they value family more

1088
01:06:38,280 --> 01:06:42,800
Speaker 1: than almost every other culture. There's babies living with old

1089
01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:45,520
Speaker 1: people and everybody in between in the same house, and

1090
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:48,040
Speaker 1: they all do things together, and they all eat meals together,

1091
01:06:48,680 --> 01:06:51,400
Speaker 1: and it equals a longer life. That goes back to

1092
01:06:51,520 --> 01:06:55,439
Speaker 1: our first question with your in laws. Maybe I don't

1093
01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:58,240
Speaker 1: remember that guy. Well, you said east, and it doesn't

1094
01:06:58,240 --> 01:07:01,040
Speaker 1: get any farther east than Okinawa. They just view it

1095
01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:02,640
Speaker 1: differently in the East than they do in the West.

1096
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:05,800
Speaker 1: In the West it's all about independence and find them

1097
01:07:05,840 --> 01:07:08,920
Speaker 1: own place and blaze in my trail. They don't think

1098
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:13,320
Speaker 1: that way in most of the world. So love you guys.

1099
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:16,600
Speaker 1: We're out of time. If you want more, Chad, well,

1100
01:07:16,640 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 1: I know you do, so thanks for having me, ye ye,

1101
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,640
Speaker 1: thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith podcast. I

1102
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:25,280
Speaker 1: appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out

1103
01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:28,640
Speaker 1: by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,

1104
01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:32,120
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and

1105
01:07:32,320 --> 01:07:36,000
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload

1106
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:38,480
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that

1107
01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:42,520
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at

1108
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,840
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Ye