1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: My question is in regard to the podcast that you 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:07,160 Speaker 1: had in early April. The topic of the question you're 3 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 1: answering was suicide, and I was wondering your opinion on this. 4 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: Is the trauma people may experience in life that leads 5 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,600 Speaker 1: to suicide, perhaps more trauma to the soul than it 6 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,760 Speaker 1: is to the brain. I know. I've struggled with suicide 7 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: a few different times in my life over the years, 8 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: and the only way I got through those times was 9 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: by leaning into God and by being out in nature. 10 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,479 Speaker 1: Looking back. For me, I believe it was damaging to 11 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: the soul, but that's just me. I don't know. Hopefully 12 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: diving into this question may help a listener out there 13 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 1: somewhere back on the podcast. This is episode ninety two 14 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: and you've done like eighty of them special guests. Do 15 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,120 Speaker 1: you have big plans for number one hundred? I was 16 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: just thinking about that yesterday. Actually, I don't know what 17 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,759 Speaker 1: what it would be, but I think we should do something. 18 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,479 Speaker 1: It should be are you able to get more people 19 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 1: around the table now that you've got this round table? 20 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 1: Maybe we should do multiple like you and Amber and 21 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 1: Bernie and Parker. Yeah, and do like the All Star 22 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 1: Cast let's do it. That's a great idea, number one hundred, 23 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 1: number one. I'm in okay, all right, Chad Warren guest 24 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: back on the podcast today. We are answering your questions 25 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,759 Speaker 1: email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and we'll answer 26 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:37,120 Speaker 1: whatever you have like a campfire setting Montana chats for 27 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: Montana's we'll do it like a Montana campfire setting. Yeah, 28 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: and you are, what's the process on your podcast? So 29 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: we've got kind of all this stuff set up. We're 30 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: going to start to record some We're gonna have you 31 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 1: and kind of have some other people come in record things, 32 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: get get it all squared away, get the editing figured out, 33 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: and you know, because we're brand new to this world. 34 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: But yeah, we're gonna hopefully I could see us launching 35 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 1: in August or September, so early fall, So stay tuned. 36 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: And what this is, this is going to be Chad 37 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: is going to start his own podcast and it is 38 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: going to be the next level from this podcast. So this, 39 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 1: if this is like answer your questions at a campfire setting, 40 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 1: then his podcast is going to be. All right, let's 41 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 1: get deep. Let's get deep thought, and not that we 42 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: don't get deep on this podcast. But this is going 43 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 1: to be biblically based scriptural base. So read a scripture 44 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: and let's get deep about that scripture. Yep, yeah, in 45 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: a similar format. I mean, we're gonna it's gonna be 46 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 1: you and I will take a passage of scripture. We'll 47 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: read it, and then how would we I mean how 48 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,839 Speaker 1: do we? Normally when you and I get together, it's 49 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: what are we reading and what is the Lord showing us? 50 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: And we talk about how that starts to trickle into 51 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: all aspects of life and how does it help us 52 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 1: be better husbands, fathers, and friends. No preparation, right, no 53 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 1: prep Yeah, besides picking the scripture obviously, Yeah. I mean 54 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 1: the idea is that you would be able to I mean, 55 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: it's really for if you want to go deeper in 56 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 1: your own walk with the Lord and just hear some 57 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: people talk about the word and how to just approach 58 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 1: the scripture. That's one level. If you don't know anything 59 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,359 Speaker 1: about the Bible and you've never even opened it, and 60 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: you thought you know what I at least should know 61 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: what it talks about, this would be a good opportunity 62 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: for you to hear two people who believe it's true 63 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 1: and talk about it and read it and try to 64 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 1: understand it. And yeah, and if you want some midweek encouragement, 65 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: then this is a good one for you on your 66 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: way to work. Yeah, if you're at work and you 67 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 1: need you just want to hear a couple of guys 68 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: talk about the word or gals. We might have some 69 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: gals on the podcast here and we'll stay we'll keep 70 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 1: that all that up to date on when that's launching 71 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 1: and details behind that. Yeah, that's true. Today, I wanted 72 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: to start with these questions. I want to kind of 73 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: I found a couple of lighte ones, so I want 74 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 1: to start with where's the super light? When I saw man? 75 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: I didn't see well, I will start with the one 76 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:22,280 Speaker 1: called softball question. It says, hey, Gray angel and friend 77 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 1: of the day, Friend of the day, insert typical comment 78 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: of I'm a huge fan, love of music, lovery podcast, 79 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: in your apparel in the Smiths, thank you so much. 80 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: It says, now the touring is back. I just have 81 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: the question, do you ever get tired of smiling for 82 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 1: pictures or does your face start to hurt? I got 83 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 1: married in October with your music playing, of course, and 84 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 1: my face hurts so bad from smiling after so many 85 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: pictures at my wedding. I love what you do for 86 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: the community. Thank you. That is Kelsey from North Texas. 87 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,600 Speaker 1: When the comment first that I did the same thing 88 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: at my wedding, I remember my face hurting. So I 89 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 1: don't think it takes being in entertainment business too. But 90 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,479 Speaker 1: you've got all these muscles in your face, and so 91 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 1: you're working them out, and maybe you do a wedding, 92 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: you know, and it's a one off experience, and you're 93 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: kind of it starts to freeze in place, and you 94 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 1: wonder if it looks fake because it feels fake, but 95 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 1: you're still you're smiling big, and you look back at 96 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 1: those pictures and you go, man, we looked happy. But 97 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: for you, like a weightlifter, like you're lifting those those 98 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 1: muscles get worked, don't they. I mean, he's got a 99 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: good point because I don't know what, like, just walk 100 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,720 Speaker 1: us through what would it look like to be on 101 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:41,040 Speaker 1: your hip pocket for the day of a concert. Yeah, 102 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: you've kind of done that a little bit with me. 103 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: But the meet and greet is by far the most 104 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,360 Speaker 1: grueling part of my day. It's also the most fulfilling part. 105 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,599 Speaker 1: That's well, I will meet about one hundred and fifty people, 106 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: and I try to kind of slow down and have 107 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,359 Speaker 1: a get some engagement with every one of them. So 108 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: that is that is the part that sometimes you got 109 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,480 Speaker 1: to be if a guy comes in and he say, 110 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 1: you got to kind of get up, and then sometimes 111 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: someone's like, I got to tell you something about my grandpa, 112 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 1: and then you kind of got to get down with 113 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 1: them and you just kind of ride that emotional roller coaster. 114 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: So that takes its toll, but it's also the most fulfilling. 115 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: And I can't imagine skipping that I actually did during 116 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,359 Speaker 1: the pandemic when we played a few shows there was 117 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,480 Speaker 1: no meet and greets, and my day was pretty meaningless. 118 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,839 Speaker 1: And Chris, my tour manager, and I we quickly noticed 119 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:36,559 Speaker 1: that although we thought we would be excited with less work, 120 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 1: of no meet and greets, it made the show just 121 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 1: kind of blend because you don't have that connection with 122 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:48,839 Speaker 1: the people. So yeah, maybe the muscles do get well then, 123 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,599 Speaker 1: I imagine, but you're you're a happy guy. Yeah, well 124 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 1: you're you're a joyful guy, and so I can imagine 125 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: and even getting to be there with you a little 126 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:02,159 Speaker 1: bit at a recent show. You love to interact with people, 127 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: and so yeah, to some degree, it's probably natural, and 128 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 1: you just get excited when people are excited, and you're like, yeah, 129 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 1: but you probably have like cheekbone muscles that are Yeah. 130 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: I thought that was a hilarious question because I've thought 131 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: about that and people ask me that, and I don't 132 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: really have a true answer. I don't know if you 133 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: could get cheek muscles that could work them out or not. 134 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: But your smile always seems genuine. So that's good. I'm 135 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: glad you say that. Thank you, Kelsey. So I'm gonna 136 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 1: kick it over you, Chad. We're gonna do some We're 137 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 1: gonna do some reading the subjects and you picking. We 138 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: have a man of the house. We have I'm in 139 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: a predicament. We have Navy or baby. I like the 140 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 1: rhyme of them struggling with sin, and then we have 141 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 1: a mister Smith, and I know that mister Smith is 142 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,559 Speaker 1: a lighthearted one. Okay, we'll go man of the House 143 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,559 Speaker 1: and then struggling with Sin. Okay, and we'll see what happens. Okay. 144 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 1: Man of the House says, dear Grander, just wanted to 145 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,480 Speaker 1: start off and say that ever since my wife introduced 146 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: me to your music when we were dating. You and 147 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: your family and your brothers and everything that EG stands for. 148 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: It's been a huge blessing and inspiration. Thank you, buddy. 149 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 1: It says, I love how your faith in Christ is 150 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: something that we could see as you lead your family 151 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 1: as the head of your house, and it inspired me 152 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 1: to be that for my wife and son. I'm twenty 153 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,640 Speaker 1: eight years old in the Air Force. I'm an Air 154 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 1: Force veteran, and my wife and son and I recently 155 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:41,079 Speaker 1: moved back to Texas from being stationed in California. One 156 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: of the ideas that we have when we're in the 157 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,959 Speaker 1: process of moving was to live with my in laws 158 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 1: because they had the space and we liked the idea 159 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 1: of not having to pay rent for a little bit. 160 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: When we got settled back in Texas, fast forward nine 161 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: months and we're still living with them, And for me, 162 00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:00,160 Speaker 1: being independent most of my adult life and being in 163 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 1: the military, I started to feel real resentment towards my 164 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 1: in laws and the fact that we're still living with 165 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,079 Speaker 1: him for what was supposed to be just a couple 166 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 1: of months. So how do I, as the man of 167 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:15,560 Speaker 1: my family, lead my wife and sons spiritually while not 168 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 1: feeling like I am in constant pissing contest with my 169 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,840 Speaker 1: father in law, who's the leader of his house which 170 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:25,000 Speaker 1: we reside in. I know, this is just a season 171 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,080 Speaker 1: of my life where my faith is being tested because 172 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:29,600 Speaker 1: of the fact that I'm living with my in laws. 173 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: But I'm just really struggling with my anger towards them 174 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:38,319 Speaker 1: and feeling like my wife sometimes doesn't want to move out, 175 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,680 Speaker 1: or when will this all be over? Thank you for 176 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: your time, justin this is one of those where it's 177 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 1: unfortunate that's an email and like he's not actually sitting 178 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 1: here around the campfire. I have so many questions and 179 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,720 Speaker 1: want to dig deeper, and so you just have to. 180 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: I mean, he was very thorough though, and included a 181 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,680 Speaker 1: lot of detail, which I think is cool, And at 182 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 1: first my first impression is that he seems to be 183 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,959 Speaker 1: very aware of himself and his own kind of internal 184 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: frustrations and wrestlings and areas where yes, he is frustrated, 185 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: he's angry, but he also realizes the situation. He seems 186 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,679 Speaker 1: pretty self aware that, yeah, this is his father in 187 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 1: law's domain, and his father in law is the head 188 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:30,199 Speaker 1: of his own home, and he is kind of in 189 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:35,840 Speaker 1: submission to that authority, and rightly so, that would be 190 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: a there's a shelf life on that for sure, that 191 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: would be a frustrating situation after a while. Sounds like 192 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,480 Speaker 1: he needs to go on vacation, to get out of 193 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: the house and go somewhere, go on a trip. Yeah, 194 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: that's true. Justin' you're very validated in all of this 195 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 1: that you're saying, and like Chad said, it sounds like 196 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 1: you've been thinking a lot about it. You have some 197 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 1: good thoughts about it. And with this is not the 198 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: first time we've seen emails from people that are living 199 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,080 Speaker 1: within laws and having problems. It seems to be a 200 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 1: problem or reoccurring problem because it's a it's a it's 201 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 1: a nice sounding solution to a young couple, a young 202 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: married couple that goes, well, we're trying to get our 203 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: feet on the ground and get something settled or move 204 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 1: or maybe we're building a house, or we're in the 205 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:27,040 Speaker 1: process of going between leases. And I always see these 206 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: problems arise within laws. I've never lived within laws, so 207 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 1: have you. No, No, I can't. I can't totally relate. 208 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 1: And I think as I as a student of kind 209 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:43,120 Speaker 1: of the East and the West, being somebody who obviously 210 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,040 Speaker 1: grew up in the West and what I mean like 211 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:50,200 Speaker 1: Western civilization, Western culture. But you study Eastern cultures and 212 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 1: you notice there's a difference in the West, especially in 213 00:11:56,240 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: the United States of independence, a priority on independent and 214 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 1: launching and kind of being your on your own, whereas 215 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: you look at other cultures in the Middle East and 216 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 1: throughout Asia, they're very family centric and so living with 217 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:16,679 Speaker 1: both sets of parents, this idea that everyone's under the 218 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 1: same roof, they tend to do it. I mean that 219 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 1: that works for them, But it's so not American to 220 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,320 Speaker 1: be more common, right, very yeah, a lot more common 221 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:28,560 Speaker 1: in those circumstances, but it is not common here, and 222 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:33,080 Speaker 1: so we definitely struggle with it more. And I'm yeah, 223 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 1: I'm there aren't a lot of patterns to look at 224 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:43,080 Speaker 1: or examples to to look at where or maybe it's 225 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,680 Speaker 1: so it's so let's just walk through it, Chad. Let's 226 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:50,319 Speaker 1: walk through it from a biblical standpoint and then from 227 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,200 Speaker 1: a from a friend standpoint. If we were given this 228 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:58,319 Speaker 1: advice around a campfire, So you have to put it, 229 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 1: seems to me you have to put a deadline on 230 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 1: these type things, a hard deadline, and you have to 231 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: be in agreeance with your wife. But in the scenario, 232 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 1: it feels like the father in law would be the 233 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,800 Speaker 1: man of the house. I mean, it's his house, so 234 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 1: he is justin You're right in thinking that he is 235 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 1: technically the man of the house, no matter how you 236 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 1: look at it, no matter what perspective. Now you are 237 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:32,319 Speaker 1: you are? How do I say this on the podcast? 238 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 1: I suddenly got this flash of people getting pissed at 239 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 1: me when I say, you're the leader of your wife, 240 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 1: but you are the your wife. Okay, let me flip it. 241 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,800 Speaker 1: Your wife is should be more loyal to you than 242 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: her father because you're married. We'll say it that way. 243 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,599 Speaker 1: That way, I don't have to say any kind of 244 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:55,200 Speaker 1: weird dominance thing. What I'm meant to say is she 245 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 1: should be more loyal to you than her father, and 246 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 1: that happened when you got married. But it puts a 247 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,079 Speaker 1: weird twist on it because you're living under his roof. 248 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 1: So you understand that. Because you're an air force fat 249 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 1: you kind of see this. You know about hierarchy and 250 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:19,200 Speaker 1: you know about the way this works. And so I 251 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 1: believe that your relationship with them and your anger, all 252 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 1: that will be restored when you move out right, I 253 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 1: would think so, I don't think there's going to be 254 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 1: much long lasting pain, but you got to leave before 255 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: that would potentially happen, because, yeah, you want to leave 256 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 1: before it spoils. Yeah, And I would imagine too. I 257 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 1: don't know what the relationship is like with the father 258 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: in law, but need to have open communication with him. 259 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 1: If you guys were to talk man to man about 260 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 1: kind of boundaries expectations, there may be a sense in 261 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 1: which the in laws are frustrated that they're still there too. 262 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 1: I don't know, but they may be wondering, Hey, what's 263 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 1: their game plan, when's when they're when are they launching, 264 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 1: when are they leaving? How long is this going to last? 265 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 1: Or maybe they're like, we love it our whole families together. 266 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, but I think that you know, to 267 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:14,280 Speaker 1: initiate a conversation with my father in law about expectations 268 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 1: and constantly kind of revisiting that conversation and checking in 269 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: I think would help alleviate tensions. As long as there's 270 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: more and more communication, that's a great point. So as 271 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: an Air Force vet, treated like you're a commanding officer 272 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 1: and you're going into the commanding officer and said, sir, 273 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm going to give you a couple of deadlines, 274 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: and these are my thoughts. What are your thoughts. I 275 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 1: think that we should, for various reasons, look at an 276 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 1: apartment one betterment apartment, and I want to make sure 277 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 1: our relationship stays strong and just build. And man, that's 278 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: going to cost a lot of money to do that, 279 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 1: but I think it's worth it. It's worth it. And 280 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 1: you were in California, so moving to Texas it's already 281 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: going to be way cheaper than that. But I think 282 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,480 Speaker 1: you say, let's see when of them. This email came 283 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 1: in April, so I'm not sure what has happened, but 284 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 1: I was probably like, dude, I couldn't last another week. 285 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 1: I've been out of there for months. Maybe so, but man, 286 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,960 Speaker 1: you gotta if this was happening in real time, I 287 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 1: would say, you're in like a thirty day know this 288 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 1: type thing? The shelf life? Yeah, awesome, appreciate you. Justin 289 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: let's go to let's go to this one, says mister Smith. 290 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 1: In the light of your history degree, do you ever 291 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 1: consider being did you ever consider being a history teacher? 292 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 1: Would you have been the quintessential history teacher and football coach. 293 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 1: Professor Smith funny question, that's that has a good ring? 294 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 1: I do. I do love history, and I could. I 295 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: could see teaching history, I could. Yeah, music stole my 296 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 1: heart before any of that could happen. I think I 297 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,920 Speaker 1: probably would have been in the Middle military before I 298 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: did that, or maybe both. Maybe it would have been military, 299 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 1: come back home, settled down history teacher at the high school, 300 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,640 Speaker 1: and then football. I love the idea of coaching football. 301 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: So there's a lot of things that I would have done. 302 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 1: I don't believe in anything that would have been because 303 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:21,159 Speaker 1: it didn't happen. So it just didn't. But what about you? 304 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,439 Speaker 1: Is there anything that is there a path it's a 305 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:28,560 Speaker 1: young boy that you would have taken outside of the ministry. Yes, 306 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 1: So I wanted to go into the military. I wanted 307 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 1: to go into special warfare. My older brother served in 308 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 1: the Navy for quite a while and he really turned 309 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 1: me on to the special warfare community and kind of 310 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 1: helped me picture the you know, the warrior lifestyle. So 311 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 1: I thought I was going to do that up until 312 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,639 Speaker 1: freshman year of college. I was in an ROTC program 313 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,160 Speaker 1: and just ready to go. And then the Lord word 314 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:05,639 Speaker 1: intervened and then re routed me. So definitely wanted to 315 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 1: head that direction. So we're similar in that aspect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 316 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna kick it back to you, Chad, struggling 317 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 1: with sin? Navy or baby? Did you already say struggling 318 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 1: with sin? Yeah's jumping to that, says Hey Granger. I 319 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 1: will remain anonymous. I've been battling with lust and sin, 320 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,199 Speaker 1: and I hope that Pastor Chad is there when you 321 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 1: see this, because I've been battling with lust and sin 322 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,920 Speaker 1: and wondering what is the best way to stop or 323 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 1: deal with it. I'm a strong Christian and I know 324 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,040 Speaker 1: it's wrong, but I keep doing it. I feel like 325 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,680 Speaker 1: God won't forgive me anymore because I've done it again 326 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: and again and again. How do I deal with this? 327 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 1: Sorry for the long question, So we'll keep him anonymous. 328 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:55,959 Speaker 1: It is is a male theological theologically, we know that 329 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,480 Speaker 1: he will forgive you. Yeah, that's that's the easy question. 330 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 1: That's the easy the question, yep. And the idea of 331 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,399 Speaker 1: here's something that I learned, and I didn't learn it 332 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:13,400 Speaker 1: until later in my Christian walk, But this idea of 333 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,960 Speaker 1: Paul says and Paul's an apostle, one of the early 334 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:21,080 Speaker 1: church leaders. He wrote a letter to a group of 335 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 1: believers in an area called coloss A. So the Book 336 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:29,120 Speaker 1: of Colossians is in the New Testament. And it's interesting 337 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:33,159 Speaker 1: because he he loves to use analogies, and so he says, 338 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:37,919 Speaker 1: in the same way that you received Christ Jesus, so 339 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:43,359 Speaker 1: walk in Him, rooted and built up. And as I 340 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 1: chewed on that verse for quite a while, realized that 341 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:52,920 Speaker 1: this idea of so I am going to walk in 342 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,239 Speaker 1: Christ in the same way that I received Jesus. And 343 00:19:56,280 --> 00:20:01,119 Speaker 1: we receive Christ, and two things happen. There is an 344 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:05,679 Speaker 1: acknowledgment of who we are and who Christ is. And 345 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,879 Speaker 1: in that acknowledgment, when we become aware and our eyes 346 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 1: are opened to this reality, we see our self and 347 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 1: our sin, and we see Him and his perfection. And 348 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 1: so we look at the sin and we say that 349 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,399 Speaker 1: sin when we see it for what it is, and 350 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,760 Speaker 1: then we turn from it and trust Him by faith. 351 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,240 Speaker 1: So faith and repentance are the two key ingredients. When 352 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:35,240 Speaker 1: I first receive Christ, those things are present. And what 353 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: Paul is telling us is, therefore, in the same way 354 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:42,359 Speaker 1: you receive Christ, Jesus by faith and repentance. So walk 355 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 1: in Him, rooted and built up. So whatever sin struggle 356 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 1: you have, one of the things we recognize is once 357 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:56,320 Speaker 1: we are in Christ, we don't therefore act righteously or 358 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,160 Speaker 1: behave in a christ like way in order to maintain 359 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 1: our salvation or even to earn more of God's love. 360 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 1: But it's a response of faith and repentance every day 361 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,359 Speaker 1: that when we see sin bubble up in our lives, 362 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: we go, WHOA, I know, now that's sin, and I 363 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,080 Speaker 1: need to turn from it to Christ. A lot of times, 364 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,240 Speaker 1: I mean, I remember struggling as a young man with 365 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 1: various temptations in sin, and even today I can get 366 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 1: caught up in dwelling on the sin itself and going, man, 367 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,439 Speaker 1: don't do that, don't do that, don't do that. But 368 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,560 Speaker 1: as I think and dwell on not doing the sin, 369 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,240 Speaker 1: I'm still dwelling on the sin, and I'm not dwelling 370 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 1: on Christ's So right, man, anonymous emailer, I'll say your 371 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 1: question that might be the oldest question that mankind has 372 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 1: ever had. It's very common. You're not alone. You were 373 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:56,560 Speaker 1: asking one of the top five most common questions that 374 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 1: any man has said I'm not, so I'm not suitable 375 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,399 Speaker 1: for God, and so is he going to forgive me? 376 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,439 Speaker 1: Like the crazy thing about Christianity is it really happens 377 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,159 Speaker 1: in the opposite way. It's the only one of the 378 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:15,320 Speaker 1: major religions that happens in the opposite way most most people, 379 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: almost I think every religion other than Christianity is clean 380 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 1: yourself up and then go present yourself to God. Christianity 381 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:27,240 Speaker 1: is go to God and He will clean you up. 382 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 1: And it's even. It starts with you need to realize 383 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:35,400 Speaker 1: how unclean you really are. And they start with this, Wow, 384 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 1: Chad sitting here behind this microphone, we're buddy, in God's eyes, 385 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:43,120 Speaker 1: we're not any better than you. We're all we're all 386 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 1: wretched and uh and inherently we're we're sinners. And so 387 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 1: what you're doing, here's here's what I could. Here's what 388 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 1: Chad said. Let me say what Chad said. Instead of 389 00:22:56,359 --> 00:23:01,160 Speaker 1: trying to quit doing something, instead of trying to move 390 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: backwards and stop, instead move forwards towards God, and don't 391 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 1: worry about stopping, because He's going to stop it for you. 392 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,360 Speaker 1: And it's a crazy thing if you are aligned with him. 393 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 1: And so how do you be aligned with him. Well, 394 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,479 Speaker 1: starts with the Bible. It starts with It starts with 395 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:25,240 Speaker 1: praying and reading and praying. Part of your prayer is 396 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 1: that when you read, you'll understand and that it will 397 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,439 Speaker 1: those words will matter to you the way that they should. 398 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:37,400 Speaker 1: They're inspired, divine words, and you want to pray God. 399 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 1: I'm about to open this book and I got all 400 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,640 Speaker 1: this sin going on, and I know, I know it's 401 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,160 Speaker 1: not good, but I can't stop it. And God's thinking, 402 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: I know you can't stop it. You're not supposed to 403 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,119 Speaker 1: be able to. That's the crazy thing that most people miss. 404 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 1: You can't unless you have him. Then he could stop 405 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,200 Speaker 1: it for you. How does he stop it? Does he sin? 406 00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 1: Lightning bullets? Not really, he could, but he starts controlling 407 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:06,359 Speaker 1: your want to. He starts making you think, ugh, I 408 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,919 Speaker 1: don't really want to do that, this lustful thing that 409 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:13,879 Speaker 1: I've been doing, that I'm addicted to doing. And then 410 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,400 Speaker 1: the more and more I read the word, the more 411 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:21,000 Speaker 1: I pray, the more I listen to him, the less 412 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: I want to do it. So it's not about trying 413 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,359 Speaker 1: to quit, and that's hard to quit something. It's hard. 414 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 1: It's more about I just don't care anymore. And what 415 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:36,359 Speaker 1: you're describing is there is one affection that begins to 416 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:40,360 Speaker 1: drive out another affection. Right, one desire gets driven out 417 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:44,720 Speaker 1: by another desire, because I mean, we all have temptations, 418 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:50,439 Speaker 1: we have appetites and hunger for sin without Christ, and 419 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:54,600 Speaker 1: when Christ comes into our life, we see something that's better. 420 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 1: But we don't always have that in clear view. We 421 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:01,159 Speaker 1: don't always see Christ for who he is and how 422 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 1: much better he is and the life that he offers, 423 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,359 Speaker 1: and how much better it is. And so as we 424 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:10,880 Speaker 1: pursue him and seek him, what you're describing is that 425 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:14,760 Speaker 1: that we start to push out that desire, and our 426 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,639 Speaker 1: appetite and our desire for Christ pushes out our desire 427 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 1: for these other things that are just far less. They're fake, 428 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: they're empty, they can't actually fulfill, they're very temporary, and 429 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:32,120 Speaker 1: the usually they actually take away what we want rather 430 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,960 Speaker 1: than fulfill what we want. They actually make a greater 431 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 1: deficit in the desire that we have, and so it 432 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 1: doesn't fulfill. And so it's interesting that you talk about 433 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 1: that consumer and you and I our friendship started over 434 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:51,280 Speaker 1: a conversation around fasting, and you think that that's one 435 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 1: of the rare biblical kind of practices that is not 436 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 1: really talked about a lot. I mean it's gaining pop 437 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:04,959 Speaker 1: popularity now in like health circles and fitness for innernat fasting, 438 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,840 Speaker 1: and people are seeing the benefits. But before it was 439 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,879 Speaker 1: seen as a health benefit, it's always been a biblical 440 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:16,439 Speaker 1: concept that God assumed his people would do because it 441 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:21,520 Speaker 1: was a gift to them. That you're in fasting your desire, 442 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 1: You're stoking the fires of one hunger, which is for God, 443 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 1: and allowing that hunger to drive out other things. And 444 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,639 Speaker 1: one of my mentors, an older pastor early in my 445 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 1: time as a pastor, he encouraged me to take on 446 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: regular fasting. And I'm not talking about social media fasting, 447 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm talking about fasting from food because one 448 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:49,520 Speaker 1: of the base desires we have is food, and so 449 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: if we can keep that hunger at bay, we see 450 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 1: great success in other hungers. And your own story about 451 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,439 Speaker 1: fasting and the way that that played a role in 452 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 1: your your life as a musician on the road touring 453 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,879 Speaker 1: and what it's done, I think is a sweet story 454 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 1: you need to tell. Yeah. Yeah, And Chad and I 455 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 1: have talked about fasting together is a big deal. To 456 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 1: have that accountability. So to this email or fasting is 457 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,440 Speaker 1: actually a good idea. I don't know how old he is. 458 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to recommend it. If he's twelve years old, 459 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,080 Speaker 1: thirteen years old, I hope I don't think he is. 460 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:34,080 Speaker 1: But yeah that I think. Here's your deal tonight. You 461 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 1: just pray. You just say God. I mess up. I 462 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,719 Speaker 1: mess up every day and I can't. I can't seem 463 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:45,639 Speaker 1: to stop it. This fleshly desire, this worldly desire, just 464 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 1: fall right back into this pattern. And I've tried and 465 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 1: I can't take it from me. You take it, You 466 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,359 Speaker 1: take it, and I'm going to lean into you. And 467 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 1: when I feel this way, I'm gonna say this prayer again. 468 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,760 Speaker 1: And then I'm gonna open up my Bible. I'm gonna 469 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,560 Speaker 1: start somewhere in the goth And I know that people 470 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,720 Speaker 1: say this is crazy and the Bible can't be read, 471 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:07,399 Speaker 1: and it's weird, it's it's it doesn't even make any sense. 472 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,119 Speaker 1: But I'm going to find me a good one. And 473 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 1: I'm going to start right here at John One. I'm 474 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,359 Speaker 1: gonna start reading it, and then if I don't understand it, 475 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say God, I'll understand this, Help me understand 476 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,600 Speaker 1: it and lean into him. Start stop thinking about going 477 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:26,880 Speaker 1: back and cleaning up yourself. You can't lean into him 478 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:31,240 Speaker 1: and keep throwing that prayer up. There also some practical 479 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 1: things I talk with young guys, and this is stuff 480 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,600 Speaker 1: that I put in place when I was younger and 481 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 1: wrestling with similar stuff, and that is you, first of all, 482 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 1: have to identify what are the conditions around which that 483 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: temptation comes. What's the trigger? What is it something you see? 484 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: Is it something on your social media? Is it watching 485 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 1: a certain show? Is it when you see certain people? 486 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 1: But identify what's that trigger point and try to off 487 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:04,720 Speaker 1: that source. Try to be mindful before that temptation comes. 488 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,920 Speaker 1: How can you set yourself up to avoid that or 489 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:13,760 Speaker 1: to stop that, you know, from coming into play. Also, 490 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:18,360 Speaker 1: have somebody that you can talk openly about this stuff with. 491 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 1: The deep lie that we believe is that I can't 492 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,280 Speaker 1: share this with anybody because if I did, everyone would 493 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,600 Speaker 1: stop being my friend or they wouldn't want to be 494 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,800 Speaker 1: around me. And the enemy wins when we keep it 495 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: in the dark. But when we expose this kind of 496 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:38,160 Speaker 1: dark sin into the light, it stops having power. And 497 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,720 Speaker 1: it's the teeth are taken out of it when it 498 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 1: starts to be exposed. And so find somebody you can 499 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,080 Speaker 1: kind of be openly able to confess this to and 500 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,719 Speaker 1: talk with and that they're going to hold you accountable 501 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,760 Speaker 1: and not somebody that's just going to go, hey, I understand, buddy, 502 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 1: you know, but somebody's going to go, hey, okay, what's 503 00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,360 Speaker 1: your plan? How we going to work through this? And 504 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 1: even if it's just me and Chad, yep, that's right, 505 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,440 Speaker 1: email back and we'll wrap it up with this fasting 506 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 1: because fasting. Everything we've said this is fasting is a 507 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:12,640 Speaker 1: good practice for all this because one of the many 508 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:17,360 Speaker 1: benefits of it spiritual fasting is every time you feel hungry, 509 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,480 Speaker 1: you say God, it reminds you, you go, God, I 510 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 1: hunger for you. You You alone, fulfill me, you alone, satisfied me, 511 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 1: You alone make me feel whole. And then your stomach 512 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,560 Speaker 1: growls and you feel it again and you get to 513 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 1: practice it all over again, and it fasting. When you're 514 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:40,520 Speaker 1: fasting with food, it represents anything else that the world 515 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,240 Speaker 1: makes you crave. And it could represent anything. It could 516 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,720 Speaker 1: represent the lust that you're talking about, or it could 517 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 1: be alcohol, could be anything that you need, and then 518 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:54,800 Speaker 1: you you fast with food because it's so easy to do. 519 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,760 Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's not easy. It's so common because 520 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:01,200 Speaker 1: you eat every day, so it's just it's like clockwork. 521 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:05,200 Speaker 1: You just you start missing a couple of meals and 522 00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,560 Speaker 1: your body screams at you and goes, what are you doing? 523 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,000 Speaker 1: Feed me? You always feed me. Now you're not feeding me. 524 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,760 Speaker 1: And that's speaking as if it's any other kind of 525 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,160 Speaker 1: addiction of the world. And you go, no, your brain, 526 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:21,200 Speaker 1: you use your mind, and your mind calms you and goes, no, God, 527 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:25,760 Speaker 1: you alone, satisfy me. Now, don't get stupid with this 528 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 1: and go for forty days or anything. Guys, Yeah, it 529 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,680 Speaker 1: starts slow. Would start slow. And what I recommend is 530 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,880 Speaker 1: when I talk about fasting with new believers or people 531 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:39,080 Speaker 1: just starting out, is take if you're a breakfast eater, 532 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: just take that first day and instead of breakfast, go 533 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,800 Speaker 1: find a place where it's quiet and you can be 534 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:50,480 Speaker 1: without distraction and either throw some headphones in and listen 535 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 1: to some worship music or spend some time praying asking 536 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,800 Speaker 1: the Lord for help. But instead of eating, take the 537 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,720 Speaker 1: time you would normally eat to be with the Lord. 538 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,280 Speaker 1: Read the scripture worship Him. And then if you've done 539 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,640 Speaker 1: it over one meal, and next time, you want to 540 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 1: try doing it for breakfast and lunch and so on. 541 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:13,600 Speaker 1: So forarth, start building that muscle memory around fasting, because 542 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,040 Speaker 1: there's nothing that God has provided us quite like fasting 543 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:21,320 Speaker 1: that fosters humility better than that good stuff. We'll take 544 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 1: a break, be right back. Podcast has brought to you 545 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:33,600 Speaker 1: guys today in part by Uncommon Goods. Uncommon Goods is, honestly, 546 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:35,560 Speaker 1: you just got to check it out. It's an online 547 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:39,640 Speaker 1: shop filled with unique, totally unexpected gifts. 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I'm gonna kick it 620 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:50,240 Speaker 1: back to you. Kept Navy or baby Bible question finding friends, 621 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:59,360 Speaker 1: brain or soul. I'm in a predicament and no subject? Man, Well, 622 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,240 Speaker 1: we already kind of spoke to an air Force question. 623 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,719 Speaker 1: We definitely got into the Bible a little bit. What's 624 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:11,319 Speaker 1: no subject? That's kind of one of these behind door 625 00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:16,360 Speaker 1: number says. I'm a twelve year old boy who hunts ducks, 626 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:22,320 Speaker 1: goose hunts, archery, deer hunts, squirrel hunts, rabbit hunts. I 627 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:28,239 Speaker 1: also make and sell duck calls, ride four wheelers, love bass, fishing, woodworking, taxidermy, 628 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,800 Speaker 1: and make most of the stuff that I want I make. However, 629 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,399 Speaker 1: I'm kind of lost now after my grandpa, who got 630 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,800 Speaker 1: me into hunting, passed away a couple of weeks ago. 631 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,200 Speaker 1: I really just have no idea what to do now, 632 00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,160 Speaker 1: and I kind of feel like I don't have much 633 00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:46,920 Speaker 1: else to try, and I feel like everything I do, 634 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:50,000 Speaker 1: I just get mad at myself. And every day I 635 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:53,279 Speaker 1: don't do anything productive. And one thing my grandpa would 636 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,719 Speaker 1: say is don't let school get in the way of 637 00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,600 Speaker 1: your education. I was wondering if you think I should 638 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,440 Speaker 1: focus on my business or just to do kids stuff. 639 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,320 Speaker 1: And if you want to see some of the stuff 640 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,760 Speaker 1: I've done, you can check out my Instagram pages. Dirty 641 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:15,359 Speaker 1: Water game calls so doesn't say his name twelve years old? 642 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:21,880 Speaker 1: Twelve years old? Yeah, oh man, his emails Albino Goose 643 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:26,799 Speaker 1: and so I'm pretty sure that's not his name. It's 644 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:30,000 Speaker 1: lost to Grandpa. That is. This is another one of 645 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,799 Speaker 1: these very common It doesn't hey, guys, it doesn't make 646 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:38,680 Speaker 1: it easier that it's common. It's just his losing that 647 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,640 Speaker 1: This is something that most everyone will go through, is 648 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,840 Speaker 1: losing to grandpa. And like I said, doesn't make it 649 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,840 Speaker 1: any easier. It's still it's still devastating, especially to a 650 00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:53,120 Speaker 1: twelve year old boy who learned all of this stuff, 651 00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:57,719 Speaker 1: this outdoor stuff from his grandpa. And then the first 652 00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:02,840 Speaker 1: thing I'll say is you're blessed that you had a 653 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,919 Speaker 1: grandpa that was able to get you outdoors and teach 654 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:11,000 Speaker 1: you all these these great things. And the price that 655 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:14,120 Speaker 1: you're paying now this grief that you're you're dealing with 656 00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,560 Speaker 1: now is the price of how much you loved them. 657 00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,839 Speaker 1: It's it's correlated how much how much you grieve, It's 658 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,640 Speaker 1: correlated with how much you loved. So the more you love, 659 00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:24,960 Speaker 1: the more you're going to grieve. And certainly you don't 660 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,839 Speaker 1: want to lose out on the love, so you'll you'll 661 00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:34,120 Speaker 1: take the grief. Yeah, And it's it's understandable that you know, 662 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,080 Speaker 1: it kind of feels like a gut punch and you 663 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,800 Speaker 1: don't really feel like doing anything, and he can feel lost, 664 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,040 Speaker 1: especially when you lose somebody that's had such a big 665 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,759 Speaker 1: impact on you, and it's right to miss them. It's 666 00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:51,040 Speaker 1: right to mourn there that they're gone. And I can 667 00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,719 Speaker 1: imagine it's hard when you go and engage in those 668 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:58,320 Speaker 1: activities and you're outdoors doing things that your grandpa tatia 669 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,920 Speaker 1: and you knew that he loved that it hurts too 670 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:05,799 Speaker 1: because you think about him and that he's not there. Eventually, 671 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:10,000 Speaker 1: it won't always feel like that. It's not always going 672 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,960 Speaker 1: to feel like that. You are going to be able 673 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,480 Speaker 1: to return to doing the things that you enjoyed with 674 00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:20,040 Speaker 1: your grandpa, And so don't lose sight of the fact 675 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:22,320 Speaker 1: that you know, those are things that you get to 676 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:26,560 Speaker 1: enjoy again and may still enjoy. But first of all, 677 00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:30,000 Speaker 1: it's okay to grieve, it's okay to mourn, and there's 678 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,120 Speaker 1: no set time that that it's right or wrong to 679 00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:37,279 Speaker 1: do that. You take the time that you need. Yeah, 680 00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,800 Speaker 1: a couple of weeks thing, that's you're you're just in 681 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:43,879 Speaker 1: the heat of it right now. So there's no there's 682 00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:49,279 Speaker 1: nothing you saying that you've been unproductive. It's totally fine 683 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:53,279 Speaker 1: and totally understandable. It's and then it's gonna it's gonna 684 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,480 Speaker 1: get hot again. It's going to get hard again in 685 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,879 Speaker 1: the fall, you know, and this when it's uh duck 686 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:02,719 Speaker 1: season again, it's season again. It's gonna get tough again 687 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:07,399 Speaker 1: for you. And then every year will slowly start going 688 00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,279 Speaker 1: by and you'll feel better about it, and you'll feel 689 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 1: better about it. You won't you won't move on from 690 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,000 Speaker 1: your grandpa. He's always going to be with you in 691 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:17,959 Speaker 1: your mind. But you're gonna move forward, and you're gonna 692 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,479 Speaker 1: go on and you're gonna take steps, and you're gonna 693 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,320 Speaker 1: get older, and then you're gonna start applying what he 694 00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,120 Speaker 1: taught you to other people. Around you. Yes, that's a 695 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,359 Speaker 1: great point. That one of the ways that you can 696 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:34,240 Speaker 1: honor your grandpa and enjoy the things that you enjoyed 697 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,920 Speaker 1: with him is pass it along. I don't think you're 698 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,480 Speaker 1: too young to start teaching somebody else, a buddy or 699 00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:43,320 Speaker 1: or maybe a cousin or somebody that's younger than you. 700 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,759 Speaker 1: Just start teaching them what you've learned, and to pass 701 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,640 Speaker 1: that along and enjoy things with them. And when people 702 00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 1: say why'd you learn that, give them a big old 703 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:56,200 Speaker 1: grin and say, my grandpa, and that that's going to 704 00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,120 Speaker 1: just feel so good in your heart because you just 705 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:03,480 Speaker 1: passed on something from him and you that's gonna that's 706 00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,400 Speaker 1: gonna help you so much, and you're you're gonna be 707 00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,520 Speaker 1: just fine. Buddy. I'm sorry for your loss, but you're 708 00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:12,480 Speaker 1: you're you're in a good place. As far as should 709 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,480 Speaker 1: I focus on my business or do kids stuff? What 710 00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,279 Speaker 1: if you're doing business as a kid, you're still doing 711 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,680 Speaker 1: kids stuff, So that makes you happy. If you enjoy 712 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:24,759 Speaker 1: making duck calls, that's not a business, not yet at least, 713 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,719 Speaker 1: So yeah, man, if you love making duck calls and 714 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,480 Speaker 1: doing that kind of thing, have fun with it. That's 715 00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:37,680 Speaker 1: a good word, so bible, question, finding friends, brain or soul. 716 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,800 Speaker 1: I'm in a predicament Navy or baby, Navy or baby. 717 00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:45,839 Speaker 1: No one keeps coming out. Okay, here we go, it says. 718 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:51,239 Speaker 1: My name is Avery. I'm thirty three from southern California. 719 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:53,759 Speaker 1: First of all, thank you. I'm a loyal listener. I've 720 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,879 Speaker 1: listened to every single podcast. My heart genuinely feels full 721 00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,359 Speaker 1: to it all. I'm trying my best to keep this short. 722 00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,359 Speaker 1: I pull off my dream of the military. Ten years ago, 723 00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:09,120 Speaker 1: post college, my dad had a severe stroke. I quit 724 00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:12,279 Speaker 1: my job and moved to be with my parents. When 725 00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,680 Speaker 1: things became more stable with my dad, I jumped back 726 00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,640 Speaker 1: into work. Years have been going by and my husband 727 00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,400 Speaker 1: now and through both and though both of us have 728 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:25,360 Speaker 1: been working and saving relentlessly, we were feeling the financial response. 729 00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:29,480 Speaker 1: Excuse me, we're feeling the financial possibilities of having a baby, 730 00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:33,239 Speaker 1: and we're feeling like that could be getting further and 731 00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,719 Speaker 1: further away, shifting gears a bit. When a pandemic hit, 732 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:38,839 Speaker 1: it struck a chord with me, and I realized how 733 00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:42,279 Speaker 1: much I needed to revive my military dream, even if 734 00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,600 Speaker 1: it's just in the reserves. So I've been pursuing the 735 00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,120 Speaker 1: Navy for a year now, but things keep happening. My dad, 736 00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:52,280 Speaker 1: my husband lost his dad unexpectedly. I broke my foot 737 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:56,080 Speaker 1: then tore some ligaments training, and I'm just at a 738 00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,800 Speaker 1: point where I'm trying to be real realistic with myself. 739 00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:02,040 Speaker 1: At what point do I let go knowing that as 740 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:05,200 Speaker 1: a female that we don't have all the time in 741 00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:09,840 Speaker 1: the world to have a family. Do I wait and 742 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,399 Speaker 1: go back into the military. What do you guys think? 743 00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:22,439 Speaker 1: Loved everybody? Avery h So that last thing, it says, 744 00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:25,480 Speaker 1: did I wait too long to go back to the military? 745 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:31,879 Speaker 1: So she's does she say her age thirty three? Thirty three? 746 00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:40,160 Speaker 1: She did? Yeah, thirty three. They're feeling the financial possibilities 747 00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,879 Speaker 1: of having a baby are getting further away. I don't 748 00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,960 Speaker 1: like that sentence. I don't know. I don't I'm confused 749 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,920 Speaker 1: by it. But it sounds like maybe they're in a 750 00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:53,840 Speaker 1: position now where they could be comfortable, like in their minds, 751 00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:59,719 Speaker 1: comfortable at having a baby. It says years have been 752 00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:04,040 Speaker 1: going by with my husband now, and though both of 753 00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,800 Speaker 1: us have been working and saving relentlessly, we're feeling the 754 00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,880 Speaker 1: financial possibilities of having a baby geting further away. It 755 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,120 Speaker 1: sounds like they feel like they don't have enough money 756 00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,680 Speaker 1: right to start a family, and I just want to 757 00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:19,640 Speaker 1: I always want to rebuke that, but because that's just this, 758 00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:23,480 Speaker 1: there's this mentality, there's modern mentality of like, man, you 759 00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,760 Speaker 1: got to you gotta save a ton of money for kids, 760 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:33,759 Speaker 1: And honestly, daycare is what's causing that. We we've been 761 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:38,239 Speaker 1: we've we haven't ever had daycare for my kids. But 762 00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:40,799 Speaker 1: when I talk to friends that have, it's like twelve 763 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,920 Speaker 1: hundred dollars a kid in some places. Yeah, so if 764 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:49,560 Speaker 1: you have two or three, it's a big deal. So 765 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:55,880 Speaker 1: I think because diapers and formula, it's it's it's not 766 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:59,200 Speaker 1: that much, you know. I think you're right to count 767 00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:00,840 Speaker 1: the cost, right you want to go, Okay, are we 768 00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:05,520 Speaker 1: in a position where this would be irresponsible and we 769 00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,840 Speaker 1: can't make ends meet now as it is? But I 770 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:14,800 Speaker 1: also think like they'll sound like that couple. No, I 771 00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:19,920 Speaker 1: would say, there is nothing more difficult and yet more 772 00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:26,840 Speaker 1: rewarding than being a parent. It's when I got married 773 00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,440 Speaker 1: that was the first step in realizing just how selfish 774 00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,320 Speaker 1: I was. Like, when you start sharing life with somebody 775 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:37,600 Speaker 1: else and sharing everything with them, you realize real quickly 776 00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:41,759 Speaker 1: just how self centered you are, and you've got to 777 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,560 Speaker 1: wrestle with that and die to self a lot. And 778 00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:51,240 Speaker 1: then we had our first child, and true it's born, 779 00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:56,680 Speaker 1: and I'm like, if I don't intervene like constantly in 780 00:46:56,800 --> 00:47:00,800 Speaker 1: his life, he's not going to live. So like my 781 00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:04,560 Speaker 1: focus had to be about him and helping him and 782 00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:07,040 Speaker 1: serving him, and so my wife and I and so 783 00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:10,320 Speaker 1: having kids is going to accentuate any issues you have 784 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,279 Speaker 1: in your relationship, in your marriage. It doesn't solve, it 785 00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:18,000 Speaker 1: doesn't fix. It's not it's it's you take that step 786 00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,680 Speaker 1: if you think you're bold enough and brave enough to 787 00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,560 Speaker 1: die to self and to live a life of self sacrifice, 788 00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,360 Speaker 1: because that's what parenting really is all about. Yeah, So 789 00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,680 Speaker 1: she says, at what point do I let go as 790 00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:33,360 Speaker 1: a female that we don't have all the time in 791 00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:38,160 Speaker 1: the world to have a family. Are she saying, at 792 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:39,719 Speaker 1: what point do I just say we're not going to 793 00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:45,920 Speaker 1: have a family, let go as a female, knowing that 794 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,640 Speaker 1: that's a biological clock is? I guess? So I think 795 00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,760 Speaker 1: that's what she's saying. And at thirty three, she's not wrong, 796 00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,960 Speaker 1: especially if there's no plan right now, which means you're 797 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,840 Speaker 1: a couple of years from having a baby if you 798 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:06,319 Speaker 1: started now. So man, I'm going to lean if you're 799 00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,719 Speaker 1: just the once again, this is a campfire conversations me Avery, Chad. 800 00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:14,080 Speaker 1: I'm going to say, you drop everything to have the baby. Yeah, 801 00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,840 Speaker 1: I'm in that corner. I'm on team baby if the baby, 802 00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:21,200 Speaker 1: if it doesn't happen, if you don't conceive, and you 803 00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,600 Speaker 1: pass your biological clock, then you got the rest of 804 00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:28,320 Speaker 1: your life to go and do what you wanted to do, 805 00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:29,600 Speaker 1: what you thought you were going to do with this 806 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:36,000 Speaker 1: military or adopt or foster or Yeah, that but that absolutely, 807 00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:41,320 Speaker 1: I'm so pro family, and yeah, have kids and the 808 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:44,160 Speaker 1: love that you and your husband have and share, expand 809 00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:47,200 Speaker 1: the boundaries on that and and start bringing others into 810 00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:51,399 Speaker 1: that through parenting. Yeah, I'm all for it. That's that's 811 00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:54,080 Speaker 1: my you know, whether you like it or not, that's 812 00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:58,040 Speaker 1: my drop everything and put all the eggs in that basket. 813 00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:02,600 Speaker 1: No pun intended. They Okay, so we're gonna go back 814 00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,239 Speaker 1: to you want me to pick one of these things. Yeah, 815 00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:08,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go. I'm in a predicament. Yeah, hey, Granger, 816 00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:14,560 Speaker 1: money is Aaron, Let's see. No, I already did that. 817 00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:18,799 Speaker 1: One did that on how about brain or soul? That's 818 00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:23,920 Speaker 1: that's what brain or soul like that one says I've 819 00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,600 Speaker 1: loved your music for a few years now. I don't know. 820 00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:29,360 Speaker 1: I didn't know you until recently that you had a podcast, 821 00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:33,480 Speaker 1: and I've absolutely love it. I've been watching episodes every day, 822 00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:37,279 Speaker 1: sometimes two a day on YouTube, every single night. I 823 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:40,000 Speaker 1: love the around the camp fire field. It feels like 824 00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,920 Speaker 1: sort of a fellowship for me and something I crave 825 00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:47,200 Speaker 1: as a way to unwind after work each evening. Anyway, 826 00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,320 Speaker 1: my question is in regard to the podcast that you 827 00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:54,040 Speaker 1: had in early April. The topic of the question you're 828 00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,320 Speaker 1: answering was suicide, and I was wondering your opinion on 829 00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:01,400 Speaker 1: this is the trauma people may experience in life that 830 00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:05,279 Speaker 1: leads to suicide, perhaps more trauma to the soul than 831 00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:08,080 Speaker 1: it is to the brain. I know. I've struggled with 832 00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:10,479 Speaker 1: suicide a few different times in my life over the years, 833 00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,040 Speaker 1: and the only way I got through those times was 834 00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,640 Speaker 1: by leaning into God and by being out in nature. 835 00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,320 Speaker 1: Looking back, for me, I believe it was damaging to 836 00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,200 Speaker 1: the soul, but that's just me. I don't know. Hopefully, 837 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,080 Speaker 1: diving into this question may help a listener out there somewhere. 838 00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:30,440 Speaker 1: PS please do a show in Colorado some time, Anthony, So, 839 00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:34,560 Speaker 1: have you talked about suicide before on the podcast? Yeah, 840 00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,520 Speaker 1: I don't remember this episode that he was referring to. 841 00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:42,239 Speaker 1: But I've dealt with suicide a lot. I say a lot. 842 00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:47,000 Speaker 1: I've dealt with suicide a fair amount, and it's typically 843 00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:54,080 Speaker 1: military related. I did a documentary in twenty eighteen and 844 00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,680 Speaker 1: it featured five fallen soldiers and I walked one hundred 845 00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:03,640 Speaker 1: miles twenty miles for each soldier and featured who they 846 00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:05,840 Speaker 1: were in their lives. And one of the one of 847 00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:09,480 Speaker 1: the guys that was lost, was a suicide. And so 848 00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:14,160 Speaker 1: through the through this research that we did for the documentary, 849 00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,960 Speaker 1: we had to learn and this this particular soldier, it 850 00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:24,600 Speaker 1: was clear that he was he was damaged mentally like 851 00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:29,080 Speaker 1: his physical brain. His physical brain was fine, Okay, he 852 00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:34,160 Speaker 1: saw and did things that did some kind of neurological 853 00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:40,759 Speaker 1: damage that's undetectable because he became a different person. He 854 00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:45,200 Speaker 1: lived a different life, He reacted differently, talked differently. He 855 00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:49,040 Speaker 1: was not the same person before the injury. It's something 856 00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:52,479 Speaker 1: I learned that, Wow, this is actually you could see 857 00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:57,040 Speaker 1: that not all injuries are visible in an MRI. And 858 00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:00,719 Speaker 1: when a guy comes back without a leg in Afghanistan, 859 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,600 Speaker 1: you could instantly know, Okay, this guy, you know he 860 00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:05,760 Speaker 1: served and he did this, and this is his story. 861 00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:09,239 Speaker 1: But when a guy comes back physically fine, you kind 862 00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:12,160 Speaker 1: of tend to just put him back into society as 863 00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:15,759 Speaker 1: if he doesn't need a ramp or a wheelchair or 864 00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:18,680 Speaker 1: assistance in anything. You just give him a job and 865 00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:23,240 Speaker 1: say go and so and then I've seen that story 866 00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:25,560 Speaker 1: repeat itself many times. That's why we have such a 867 00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:31,520 Speaker 1: high number of suicides that are military related. So the 868 00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,279 Speaker 1: question is a deep one brain or soul? Is it? 869 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:40,279 Speaker 1: Is it? He said? Is it more trauma to the 870 00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:42,480 Speaker 1: soul than it is to the brain. So so what 871 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:46,719 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say is it's trauma to the brain. And 872 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that from a from a Christian perspective 873 00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:56,080 Speaker 1: that that the Bible says fear the one that could 874 00:52:56,800 --> 00:53:02,120 Speaker 1: that could destroy your soul, which is God. I don't think. 875 00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:06,800 Speaker 1: I don't think we're capable of destroying our soul. You 876 00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:13,360 Speaker 1: don't think we can damage it? Well, because we I 877 00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:21,480 Speaker 1: think biblically and philosophically we are souls that have bodies. 878 00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:26,040 Speaker 1: Our soul animates our body, and I think that there 879 00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:30,960 Speaker 1: is a connection between the two that is really difficult 880 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:34,160 Speaker 1: to explain. That's it. There's a connection between these two things. 881 00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:37,880 Speaker 1: So the Anthony might be, like this question, might be 882 00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:41,719 Speaker 1: saying the same thing. It's suicide more trauma to the 883 00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:44,960 Speaker 1: soul than it is to the brain. There's a connection 884 00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:48,560 Speaker 1: between that you can't and we don't just we just 885 00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:53,040 Speaker 1: don't know the extent of that connection and how that works. 886 00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:57,200 Speaker 1: So so back to me when I said you can't 887 00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:59,440 Speaker 1: see it on the MRI, maybe that maybe that's the 888 00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:02,239 Speaker 1: damage to the soul because you can't see the soul. 889 00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,680 Speaker 1: So maybe you're right, this is a soul issue, which 890 00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:09,239 Speaker 1: is actually what Anthony's arguing here. And then you get 891 00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:11,560 Speaker 1: into the nuance between what's the difference between a spirit 892 00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,880 Speaker 1: and a soul. What you actually study this stuff in 893 00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:17,160 Speaker 1: undergrad as a philosophy major, and I did my final 894 00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:23,120 Speaker 1: thesis paper on philosophy of the mind and all that 895 00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:24,960 Speaker 1: kind of stuff, and there's just a lot of different 896 00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:28,240 Speaker 1: opinions and approaches to what we can and can't understand. 897 00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:32,759 Speaker 1: But I strongly believe in the metaphysical realm, like the 898 00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:36,120 Speaker 1: soul and the spirit and you know those kind of things, 899 00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:40,080 Speaker 1: and they're deeply connected to the physical and I think 900 00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:43,120 Speaker 1: they both influence each other and we just don't understand it. 901 00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:48,200 Speaker 1: So I agree. I think it's damage and it has effect, 902 00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:53,399 Speaker 1: and there are some things that only God can heal. Yeah, 903 00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:57,840 Speaker 1: Jesus says, I will give you rest for your souls. 904 00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:04,799 Speaker 1: It's so. So then you wonder, is that the only 905 00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:08,360 Speaker 1: recovery that a soul could have, a damaged soul could have, 906 00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:11,960 Speaker 1: is the only recovery to come to Christ. That's what 907 00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:22,000 Speaker 1: he says. Yes, it's deep, deep, that's for the other podcast. Yeah, 908 00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:27,440 Speaker 1: this is deep. I mean, that's I'm interested in some 909 00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:29,920 Speaker 1: If you're watching on YouTube and you see some comments 910 00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:32,400 Speaker 1: on this, I'm sure we'll kind of see both sides. 911 00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:36,839 Speaker 1: What is the connection of the brain and the soul. 912 00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:39,800 Speaker 1: There is a you could you could biblically make a 913 00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:43,239 Speaker 1: lot of connections between the brain and the soul. But 914 00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:47,760 Speaker 1: if you're damaged enough to be suicidal, which is usually 915 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:53,360 Speaker 1: typically suicide happens from a chain of events that have 916 00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:58,560 Speaker 1: happened or seeing or done. So if you can't see 917 00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:02,880 Speaker 1: it on a scan if you can't see a chunk 918 00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:06,160 Speaker 1: of the brain missing, but there is a I have 919 00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:08,960 Speaker 1: seen it with my own eyes. There is damage to 920 00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:14,239 Speaker 1: a person that happens from PTSD. There's something you could 921 00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:17,719 Speaker 1: you could do something. Let me just put it in perspective. Well, 922 00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:20,000 Speaker 1: I just wrote a song. I just did this. I 923 00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:24,280 Speaker 1: worked with this company, this really cool disabled vet organization 924 00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:28,960 Speaker 1: that brings in songwriters and writes songs with disabled bets 925 00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:32,120 Speaker 1: as a healing process. You tell their story through the music. 926 00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:35,320 Speaker 1: It's called Creative Vets. It's a really cool deal. So 927 00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:38,200 Speaker 1: that the one I did I wrote with a marine 928 00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:42,600 Speaker 1: a Marine VET that was the father of a suicide victim, 929 00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:47,720 Speaker 1: his son Chris. The one we wrote the story about. 930 00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:52,759 Speaker 1: His story is he was in Iraq and it was 931 00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:55,120 Speaker 1: I hear this so many times when I hear the 932 00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:58,360 Speaker 1: suicide military suicide, that you hear a story of a 933 00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:01,920 Speaker 1: young man that's just full of life, like the the 934 00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:07,040 Speaker 1: class clown in high school, very always outgoing and brave. 935 00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:09,000 Speaker 1: Because those are usually the guys that end up on 936 00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:11,719 Speaker 1: the front lines. Those are usually the personality traits that 937 00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:16,919 Speaker 1: get you kicking indoors in urban warfare. I could see that, Yeah, 938 00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:20,439 Speaker 1: you're not a desk guy. If you're yo, hey, what's 939 00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:23,240 Speaker 1: the life of the life of the room wherever you are, 940 00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:26,200 Speaker 1: You're the guy I think gets on the in the 941 00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:29,440 Speaker 1: you know, in the hum vy and you're out there. 942 00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:31,959 Speaker 1: You're the first one out of the door, the first 943 00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,080 Speaker 1: one kicking in the door. You're the first one. So 944 00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,480 Speaker 1: that so anyway, the story that's got Chris, he's that 945 00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:41,120 Speaker 1: kind of guy. And one day they're they're out on 946 00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:43,920 Speaker 1: a convoy and they have to go into a building 947 00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:48,080 Speaker 1: and a run down part of Iraq in the city. 948 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:52,600 Speaker 1: They kick open a door. There's a there's a known 949 00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:56,040 Speaker 1: Taliban guy in here in this building. They're looking for 950 00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:58,800 Speaker 1: him and kicking the door and they see him. There's 951 00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:01,640 Speaker 1: the Taliban guys. They're in the room. They have their 952 00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:05,120 Speaker 1: hands up. These guys they were Marines. They're off their 953 00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,720 Speaker 1: guns on them. And a little girl comes from between 954 00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:12,120 Speaker 1: the talabana starts coming right at him and they're screaming 955 00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:14,800 Speaker 1: at her stop stop stop. She's like nine years old 956 00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:19,160 Speaker 1: and she's coming at him without stopping, and he pulls 957 00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:23,240 Speaker 1: the trigger shoots it right between the eyes. She falls. 958 00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:26,960 Speaker 1: He looks back at the same time and looks behind 959 00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:30,120 Speaker 1: him and there's a little doll on the ground behind him. 960 00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:37,600 Speaker 1: She was coming to get the doll, and that killed him. Essentially, 961 00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:43,320 Speaker 1: he returned home, he re entered civilian lifestyle. He could 962 00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:46,840 Speaker 1: not stop seeing that little girl. And usually when you 963 00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:50,040 Speaker 1: hear these kind of stories of suicide, it's typically not 964 00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:55,240 Speaker 1: something that you witnessed, it's something you did. That's the 965 00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:58,880 Speaker 1: hardest thing, from my understanding, the hardest maybe that's the 966 00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:02,480 Speaker 1: sole damage thing is when you do it. You did 967 00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:06,800 Speaker 1: it that I've heard. There was the documentary We made 968 00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:10,600 Speaker 1: the guy ran over a child on purpose because they 969 00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:14,320 Speaker 1: were blocking the convoy and they they were creating a threat, 970 00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:16,560 Speaker 1: an unknown threat. And as we know, this little girl 971 00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:18,959 Speaker 1: could have had a grenade in her pocket. The little 972 00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:22,360 Speaker 1: girl could have could have killed any one of the 973 00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,480 Speaker 1: men that were with him. They know that, we've known 974 00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:33,880 Speaker 1: that since since the World War One? So is that 975 00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:42,040 Speaker 1: how you damage your soul? And I, yeah, I think 976 00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:47,160 Speaker 1: that the only repair, the only restoration that can come 977 00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:53,080 Speaker 1: for for soul damage comes through Jesus Christ. Jesus says, 978 00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:55,400 Speaker 1: come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, 979 00:59:56,080 --> 01:00:04,640 Speaker 1: and I will give you rest. It's the only way. Yeah, yeah, 980 01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:08,480 Speaker 1: take my yoke and learn from me from gentle and 981 01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:11,120 Speaker 1: humble and heart, humble and heart, and you will have 982 01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:18,160 Speaker 1: rest for your souls. So that's a good word. So 983 01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:20,920 Speaker 1: last time I was here, we got a question about 984 01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:27,040 Speaker 1: you covering like a gospel song. Did you get any 985 01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:34,080 Speaker 1: feedback on that? Yeah, I think a lot of people. Yeah, 986 01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:38,440 Speaker 1: do it. So I have to go back. You wanted 987 01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:40,400 Speaker 1: to hit one more here, and we'll let everybody get 988 01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:43,120 Speaker 1: back to their their evening or the morning or whenever 989 01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:45,480 Speaker 1: they watch. Shout out to every Shout out to the 990 01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:50,080 Speaker 1: commuters and the over the road truckers and the would 991 01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:51,880 Speaker 1: that guy say he'd liked to unwind and listen to 992 01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:59,920 Speaker 1: it in the evenings after work, finding friends or Bible 993 01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:04,919 Speaker 1: question your call, Chad. The pressure's on you will jump 994 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:09,240 Speaker 1: into finding friends. Okay, Hello Grangeer. My name is Tony. 995 01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:12,320 Speaker 1: I'm twenty two. I'm from Surrey, UK. Love your podcast. 996 01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:15,440 Speaker 1: It's really maybe changed the way I look at certain 997 01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:19,600 Speaker 1: things and act. And I've seen sent several episodes to 998 01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:21,600 Speaker 1: friends and family for them to watch and hopes that 999 01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:23,720 Speaker 1: they would appreciate the show as much as I do. 1000 01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:28,280 Speaker 1: My question is I'm pretty lonely at the moment. And 1001 01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,680 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do about it. I don't 1002 01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:33,880 Speaker 1: have a girlfriend. I've distanced myself from all my friends 1003 01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:38,800 Speaker 1: after realizing they weren't good company. I do know, I 1004 01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:42,320 Speaker 1: do not know how I can make friends with new people. 1005 01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:45,480 Speaker 1: The only time I go out is either with my 1006 01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:48,120 Speaker 1: family or by myself out in the country. So there 1007 01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,040 Speaker 1: really isn't a chance for me to meet new people. 1008 01:01:50,160 --> 01:01:53,200 Speaker 1: Any advice or any of your own personal experiences that 1009 01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:56,480 Speaker 1: could help me, ye yee for life, Tony from UK. 1010 01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:01,880 Speaker 1: I mean, I just think growing up I moved around 1011 01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:05,440 Speaker 1: a few times, and as an adult, my family and 1012 01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:08,440 Speaker 1: I we've moved to different locations around the country. And 1013 01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:15,080 Speaker 1: for us, it happens around common interests. If there's stuff 1014 01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:18,320 Speaker 1: that we like to do, we tend to meet people 1015 01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:22,680 Speaker 1: when we go do stuff. You know, and this may 1016 01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:27,479 Speaker 1: be the obvious pastoral answer, but we also find deep 1017 01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:32,240 Speaker 1: friendships through church and getting involved in a local church 1018 01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:35,800 Speaker 1: and doing things outside of church with those people that 1019 01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:38,880 Speaker 1: we attend church with or the people that are a 1020 01:02:38,920 --> 01:02:41,960 Speaker 1: part of the church that we're with. But yeah, and 1021 01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:45,320 Speaker 1: then when you start having kids, you start they start 1022 01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:49,000 Speaker 1: doing extracurricular things, and so when your kids are involved 1023 01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:51,320 Speaker 1: in something. You're standing there with other parents whose kids 1024 01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:55,600 Speaker 1: are also interested in involved in things. So friendship tends 1025 01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:59,880 Speaker 1: to happen around activities and mutual interests. And so that's 1026 01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:02,080 Speaker 1: or I would tend to go. Yeah, I agree. I 1027 01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:05,760 Speaker 1: don't know where Surre is Surre in the UK or 1028 01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:09,040 Speaker 1: how big a talent it is, But you say any 1029 01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:13,360 Speaker 1: advice or your or your own personal experience, Well, I am. 1030 01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:15,760 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if this is a 1031 01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:20,320 Speaker 1: parent or not, but I'm I'm generally introverted when it 1032 01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:23,960 Speaker 1: comes to social events, like I'm not. I've never been 1033 01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:27,400 Speaker 1: the guy that's like, where's a party tonight? It takes 1034 01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:30,280 Speaker 1: a lot to get me out. She kind of a homebody. 1035 01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:34,320 Speaker 1: I'm kind of a homebody and I would rather just 1036 01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:38,040 Speaker 1: could we just cook something here? You know? And So 1037 01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:43,640 Speaker 1: my point to being, if you're truly lonely, like you're saying, 1038 01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:47,160 Speaker 1: and you need it, you kind of crave that that relationship, 1039 01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:49,280 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to step out and be a little 1040 01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:51,560 Speaker 1: bit uncomfortable and go, you know what, I'm gonna go 1041 01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:55,720 Speaker 1: to this soccer game. That's what we say here, Tony, 1042 01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:58,080 Speaker 1: we say soccer. I want to go to this soccer 1043 01:03:58,200 --> 01:04:02,400 Speaker 1: game by myself, you know, and it's gonna be that's 1044 01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:06,920 Speaker 1: gonna be awkward and weird. But the reward you can 1045 01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:09,760 Speaker 1: get out of that by mingling and finding some people 1046 01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:11,400 Speaker 1: and they're yelling for the same team, and you go, 1047 01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:13,920 Speaker 1: where are you guys from? And they live down the 1048 01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:17,919 Speaker 1: road and so do I, and then you start this relationship. 1049 01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:22,080 Speaker 1: And it might take a little effort, it might take 1050 01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:24,320 Speaker 1: and might take some being some awkward. You might want 1051 01:04:24,360 --> 01:04:27,480 Speaker 1: to go to your local pub, you know, and order 1052 01:04:27,520 --> 01:04:30,640 Speaker 1: your favorite I'm trying to think of some things here. 1053 01:04:30,880 --> 01:04:33,040 Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of some British things here. You're 1054 01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:37,640 Speaker 1: gonna bangers and mash and fish and chips. Yeah, you know, 1055 01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:40,280 Speaker 1: go to the Golden Chippy now that's in London and 1056 01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:44,600 Speaker 1: uh yeah the pub pub. Yeah, get you some fish 1057 01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:49,320 Speaker 1: and chips and and you got to just start conversations. 1058 01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:52,480 Speaker 1: It's tough for an introvert. It sounds like that's what 1059 01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:55,360 Speaker 1: you are. It's tough to's just start a conversation with 1060 01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:58,840 Speaker 1: a perfect stranger, or to go somewhere by Some people 1061 01:04:58,920 --> 01:05:03,600 Speaker 1: think going somewhere by themselves it's humiliating. I love it, 1062 01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:07,040 Speaker 1: but I love going to eat by myself and there's 1063 01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:10,040 Speaker 1: a way to go. And yes, it's it feels awkward 1064 01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:11,720 Speaker 1: to you, it may not be awkward to other people. 1065 01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:14,200 Speaker 1: But then there are ways you can make it creepy. 1066 01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:17,400 Speaker 1: So if you go to this soccer game, don't be 1067 01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:20,720 Speaker 1: like all like in people's personal space or staring at 1068 01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:24,400 Speaker 1: them and then lead with will you be my friend? Like, 1069 01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:26,320 Speaker 1: you don't want to be that guy either, because that's 1070 01:05:26,480 --> 01:05:29,080 Speaker 1: just creepy. What we're skipping around here at with Chad 1071 01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:31,600 Speaker 1: and I, what we're really thinking is go to church 1072 01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:35,360 Speaker 1: and become a member of a small group you're going 1073 01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:41,080 Speaker 1: to have. If you have theological things in common, then 1074 01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:46,240 Speaker 1: friendships will will blossom through that. So you're now hearing 1075 01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:48,680 Speaker 1: the first time in the podcast the garage door going up. 1076 01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:52,960 Speaker 1: This is the new space. This is a sweet dat. 1077 01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:56,560 Speaker 1: I like it. Bertie came in. The first thing Bertie 1078 01:05:56,600 --> 01:06:00,320 Speaker 1: said was where's the blue lord? Yeah, the blue board. 1079 01:06:02,120 --> 01:06:07,160 Speaker 1: But it's appropriate that you're now the second the second guest, Tony. 1080 01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:09,840 Speaker 1: I appreciate you, buddy. I hope you find your friends. 1081 01:06:10,840 --> 01:06:13,560 Speaker 1: We all need connection, and this past year we've all 1082 01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:17,520 Speaker 1: learned more than ever. Humans are built for connection. We're 1083 01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:22,000 Speaker 1: built to have friends and family, and in Okinawa, I 1084 01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:26,760 Speaker 1: think I've read the Okinawa has the most centurions that 1085 01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:29,520 Speaker 1: you say it people living over the age of one hundred, 1086 01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:34,560 Speaker 1: more than any other country. And the only thing we 1087 01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:38,080 Speaker 1: could really trace it to is they value family more 1088 01:06:38,280 --> 01:06:42,800 Speaker 1: than almost every other culture. There's babies living with old 1089 01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:45,520 Speaker 1: people and everybody in between in the same house, and 1090 01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:48,040 Speaker 1: they all do things together, and they all eat meals together, 1091 01:06:48,680 --> 01:06:51,400 Speaker 1: and it equals a longer life. That goes back to 1092 01:06:51,520 --> 01:06:55,439 Speaker 1: our first question with your in laws. Maybe I don't 1093 01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:58,240 Speaker 1: remember that guy. Well, you said east, and it doesn't 1094 01:06:58,240 --> 01:07:01,040 Speaker 1: get any farther east than Okinawa. They just view it 1095 01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:02,640 Speaker 1: differently in the East than they do in the West. 1096 01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:05,800 Speaker 1: In the West it's all about independence and find them 1097 01:07:05,840 --> 01:07:08,920 Speaker 1: own place and blaze in my trail. They don't think 1098 01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:13,320 Speaker 1: that way in most of the world. So love you guys. 1099 01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:16,600 Speaker 1: We're out of time. If you want more, Chad, well, 1100 01:07:16,640 --> 01:07:20,000 Speaker 1: I know you do, so thanks for having me, ye ye, 1101 01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,640 Speaker 1: thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith podcast. I 1102 01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:25,280 Speaker 1: appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out 1103 01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:28,640 Speaker 1: by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, 1104 01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:32,120 Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and 1105 01:07:32,320 --> 01:07:36,000 Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload 1106 01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:38,480 Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that 1107 01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:42,520 Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at 1108 01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,840 Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Ye