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Speaker 1: It is now time for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and we will get your letter and we could be

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Speaker 1: reading it live on the air, just like we're going

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Speaker 1: to read this one right here, right now, and you

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Speaker 1: never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. Nephew's subject, I don't think my husband likes

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Speaker 1: black women. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm twenty years old, yeah,

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Speaker 1: forty years old and married to an older man. He's

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Speaker 1: an entrepreneur and I'm in the insurance field. He's out

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Speaker 1: and about rubbing elbows with big wigs every day. At

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Speaker 1: least that's how he describes his line of work. He

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Speaker 1: dabbles in real estate and he owns a few parking

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Speaker 1: lots and he just acquired another one. When he's at home,

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Speaker 1: he's sleep or he's on his computer. We used to

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Speaker 1: cook it home together and watch movies. That was our thing.

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Speaker 1: But over the the holidays, he said that lying around

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Speaker 1: watching movies is a waste of my time and waste

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Speaker 1: of my time when I could be spending the time

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Speaker 1: working on myself. He suggested that I get a hobby

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Speaker 1: like playing tennis or golfing. I rolled my eyes when

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Speaker 1: he said it, because I'm not interested in sports. He

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Speaker 1: told me it was just like a black woman to

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Speaker 1: cop an attitude and roll my eyes. Lately, he's made

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Speaker 1: remarks about me not being driven or having ambition. He

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Speaker 1: said it's a cultural thing and black women like to settle.

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Speaker 1: I've been at my job for twenty two years. I

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Speaker 1: can retire in eight years. I love what I do

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Speaker 1: and I don't want to be self deployed. Saturday, he

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Speaker 1: asked when I was getting my braids taken out and

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Speaker 1: getting a more professional hairstyle. He said, if it's not braids,

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Speaker 1: it's a weave you and these hairstyles. He's also said

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Speaker 1: my behind is nice now, but as I get older,

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Speaker 1: I might want to start working out so it doesn't spread.

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Speaker 1: I usually ignore him, but I went off that day

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Speaker 1: and he said he expected me to react that way

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Speaker 1: because black women are so reactive. I think he's got

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Speaker 1: something against black women, or maybe it's me. I don't

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Speaker 1: feel comfortable at home anymore? Excuse me, what is going

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Speaker 1: on with him? Wow? You know what I say this,

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Speaker 1: When a person lets you know who they are, believe them. Okay,

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Speaker 1: he's shown you who he is and how he feels

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Speaker 1: about you and black women, and excuse me, that's who

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Speaker 1: he is.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: The one thing that a person should never do is

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Speaker 1: compare their partner to someone else. And he's being so

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Speaker 1: nasty about it too, just because you're not doing what

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Speaker 1: he wants you to do and how he wants you

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Speaker 1: to do it. Now, all of a sudden, something is

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Speaker 1: wrong with you now you have an attitude or you're

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Speaker 1: an angry black woman. It's one thing to get those

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Speaker 1: type of stereotypes from others, but not from your own,

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Speaker 1: especially your husband. Come on, you should be angry and hurt.

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Speaker 1: It's okay that you went off on him. By the

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Speaker 1: way he's talking to you now. All these comments about

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Speaker 1: it being a cultural thing and just like black women

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Speaker 1: to do this or that, and about your braids, they're mean,

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Speaker 1: they're insensitive. It sounds like he's out and about now.

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Speaker 1: Like he said, he's meeting new people, women especially, and

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Speaker 1: he's changed, as people often do in relationships, and he

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Speaker 1: thinks the grass is greener now on the other side,

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Speaker 1: just because he's out. Now you say you usually ignore him,

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Speaker 1: but I say to you, don't ignore him this time.

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Speaker 1: If you think you need to start taking better care

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Speaker 1: of yourself, handle that. Take from it what you need

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Speaker 1: and discard the rest.

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Speaker 2: But do it for you.

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Speaker 1: Do it for you, not for him.

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Speaker 3: Steve, Well, I don't know how we keep dancing around

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Speaker 3: this big white elephant in this room.

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Speaker 2: But I can't.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what the hell we talking about here,

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Speaker 3: because you know, ain't nobody mentioned racing this letter, except

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Speaker 3: for the fact that you said, I don't think my

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Speaker 3: husband like black women.

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Speaker 2: Well, let's wait a minute, where did.

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Speaker 3: That come from. Why would you just I don't like

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Speaker 3: my husband likes black women. Now I read the whole

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Speaker 3: letter and you never once mentioned who your husband was.

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Speaker 3: So now what you've done for me is you've allowed

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Speaker 3: me to open up the door of speculation. I am

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Speaker 3: free to now read in to this letter what I

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Speaker 3: want to read into it and read in between the lines. Now,

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Speaker 3: you ain't saying nothing in this letter about your husband

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Speaker 3: being black, and you did not mention that your husband

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Speaker 3: was white. Buddy got white, dude, wrote all over him

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Speaker 3: in this letter. Nah, you're then married the white dude.

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Speaker 2: Now you don discover you don't like your black ass.

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Speaker 3: Oh, here we go, I said, no, no, no, no, share,

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Speaker 3: ain't no need to looking at me on your zoom.

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Speaker 2: You had your turn.

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Speaker 3: I ain't nobody gonna say nothing about this letter but me.

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Speaker 2: I'm here for it. Let's begin.

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Speaker 3: I'm forty years old and married to an older Man's

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Speaker 3: a an entrepreneur. I'm in an insurance field. He's out

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Speaker 3: and about rubbing elbows with big wigs every day. At

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Speaker 3: least that's how he describes his line of work. He

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Speaker 3: dabbles in real estate. He owns a few parking lots

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Speaker 3: and just require another one. When he's at home, he

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Speaker 3: sleep on his computer. He sleep on his computer. We

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Speaker 3: used to cook at home together and watch move That

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Speaker 3: was our thing. But over the holidays, he said, lying

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Speaker 3: around watching movies, here we go is a waste of

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Speaker 3: time when I could be spending that time working on myself.

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Speaker 2: Here is a husband.

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Speaker 3: You did not say how old you long you all

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Speaker 3: were married, But it's gotten to the point where something

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Speaker 3: is starting to happen. He suggested that I get a

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Speaker 3: hobby like playing tennis or golfing. That ain't a black request. NASA, NASA.

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Speaker 3: Very few black men come in the house and go

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Speaker 3: you need to pick up a hobby like tennis or golfing.

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Speaker 3: First of all, I don't want my wife play golf.

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Speaker 3: That's one place I go where I and get away

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Speaker 3: from everybody for folk five hours, and I don't want

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Speaker 3: her up there playing no damn golf. Steve went my ball,

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Speaker 3: How I do this? How I swaying that? Well, I

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Speaker 3: need some moball, let me use your club. My club's

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Speaker 3: too long for you. But we're not gonna do that.

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Speaker 3: So he was the first inkling that you could be

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Speaker 3: married to a white dude. He suggested that you go

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Speaker 3: play tennis or golf. Now, it's a lot of blacks

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Speaker 3: to play tennis and golf, So I don't want to

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Speaker 3: make you think that lie to black tennis players, good

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Speaker 3: ones too, A lot of good black golfers. I play golf.

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Speaker 3: I'm not a good one, but I play. Oh, I

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Speaker 3: think I understand. In fact, can I tell you what

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking about?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour, we'll

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Speaker 1: have more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show. We'll have

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Speaker 1: part two of this strawberry letter. The subject is, I

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Speaker 1: don't think my husband likes black women. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is I don't

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Speaker 1: think my husband likes.

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Speaker 3: Black Now for this woman to say this, y'all and

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Speaker 3: then not tell us whether her husband was black, white, Latino,

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Speaker 3: anything like that, all it leaves is a letter of speculation.

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Speaker 3: So all I could do is dig into it my

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Speaker 3: way and read between the lines. Now they don't watch TV,

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Speaker 3: no more movies and cook together. So now over the holidays,

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Speaker 3: he told her, you could be better spending your time

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Speaker 3: working on yourself. Okay, so somebody's getting disgruntled nowhere. He's

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Speaker 3: out dabbling and working out in the field, like you say,

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Speaker 3: and now he's starting to meet some different kind of people.

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Speaker 3: I think he suggested that I get a hobby like

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Speaker 3: playing tennis or golfing. A lot of black people play tennis,

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Speaker 3: a lot of people play golf. The Black Enterprise Golf

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Speaker 3: and Tennis Classic used to be one of my favorite

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Speaker 3: events to a tend. I used to love going down there,

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Speaker 3: hanging out with them bushy as black people. I really did, man,

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Speaker 3: because they was all in corporate America, everybody me. But

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Speaker 3: they asked me not to come back down there. One

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Speaker 3: time I said something at American Airlines event that didn't

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Speaker 3: go really.

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Speaker 2: Really it is he is about the letter.

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Speaker 3: It's about the Black Enterprise Golf of Tennis Clack, which

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Speaker 3: was excellent, excellent, excellent, brother Earl Graves and his vision

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Speaker 3: with outstanding for that miss him dearly anyway. Uh, then

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Speaker 3: you said said I'm not interested in poor. Then he said,

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Speaker 3: he told me it was just like a black woman,

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Speaker 3: the coppy attitude and roll my eye. You should have said, oh,

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Speaker 3: like your mama. But then you didn't say that cause

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Speaker 3: his mama white. See that, I know comebacks in this

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Speaker 3: letter that I know snappy comebacks. That's why I'm thinking

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Speaker 3: the lady is thrown off because she married. She thought

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Speaker 3: she married a well rounded person that didn't see race

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Speaker 3: or color. But it's starting to show up in this letter.

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Speaker 2: Lately.

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Speaker 3: He's made remarks about me not being driven and having

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Speaker 3: an ambition. He said, it's a cultural thing, and black

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Speaker 3: women like to settle what black woman are you talking about?

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Speaker 2: Dog?

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Speaker 3: Cause that ain't who i'd have met. They some of

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Speaker 3: the hardest scrappers and hustlers I've ever met my life.

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Speaker 3: Black women. You talk about somebody that can pick up

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Speaker 3: the ball and run with it. You talking about somebody

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Speaker 3: know how to hold it down, you know how, someone

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Speaker 3: you know how, somebody know how to put it all

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Speaker 3: together and make it work.

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Speaker 2: That's black women.

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Speaker 3: Yes, all of a sudden, his thing is it's just

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Speaker 3: like a black woman copper attitude and roll away. And

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Speaker 3: then he said it's a cultural thing. Black women like

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Speaker 3: to settle. How does a cultural thing? I'm getting confused

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Speaker 3: in this letter. I've been on my job twenty two years.

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Speaker 3: I could retire in eight. I love what I do

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Speaker 3: and I don't want to be self employed. Saturday, he

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Speaker 3: asked if I was getting my braids taken out and

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Speaker 3: getting a more professional hairstyle. Oh okay, okay, oh okay.

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Speaker 3: Oh you went down there and saw the little movie

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Speaker 3: Bobbie hunh. All right, Oh now you on long straight hair? Okay,

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Speaker 3: he said. If it's not braids, it's a weave you

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Speaker 3: and these halfstyles. He's also said my behind is nice now,

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Speaker 3: but as I get old, I might wanna start working out,

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Speaker 3: so it don't spread I yousally ignore him.

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Speaker 2: But I went off that.

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Speaker 3: Day and he said he expected me to act that

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Speaker 3: way cause black women are so reacting.

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Speaker 2: I don't understand this letter. I just really really don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't really give it. Damn, if your husband black

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Speaker 2: or white, I don't like him. I don't like you

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Speaker 2: sitting there talking about it. But what should he?

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Speaker 1: Don't you think if he was white? She would have

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Speaker 1: said that, though, that's.

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Speaker 2: What I think.

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Speaker 3: But see nah th but but okay, but well no,

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Speaker 3: not necessarily.

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Speaker 1: Mm.

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Speaker 3: I would think she would say he was white, but

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Speaker 3: she didn't. Yeah, But then she says, I don't think

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Speaker 3: my husband like black women.

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Speaker 2: He got a mama and he married you.

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Speaker 3: So I'm s I'm a little stuck on this, but

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Speaker 3: I'm I'm it's something else to this letter, I really am.

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Speaker 2: And that's what I think. We don't know if we

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Speaker 2: got a white letter.

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Speaker 3: I think he's got something against black women, or maybe

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Speaker 3: it's me. See that's what makes me. I think he

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Speaker 3: got some against black women, or maybe it's just me.

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Speaker 3: I I see it. This sounds like I don't feel

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Speaker 3: comfortable at home anymore. What that's what made me think

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Speaker 3: it's white dude that now I don't feel comfortable at

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Speaker 3: home anymore, because the only way this can work is

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Speaker 3: one of these two things. All I can gather from

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Speaker 3: this letter is this right here, that she's either tired

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Speaker 3: he's tired of her, yes, or or in his business

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Speaker 3: is lying of work. He's been running around meeting all

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Speaker 3: types of these new people, and now he said, Wow,

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Speaker 3: what I got at the house ain't all.

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Speaker 2: That after all? Braids?

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Speaker 3: Your body gonna spread? Hell, you know, maybe all that round,

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Speaker 3: But I really don't care y'all if he black or white? Right,

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Speaker 3: if you married the white dude, not now his true

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Speaker 3: colors then came out. And if you married a black dude,

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Speaker 3: leave him.

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Speaker 2: Why he's real Hollywood.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a brand, I mean, but I'm leaving the

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Speaker 3: white dude or the black dude.

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Speaker 2: It just don't sound like this is relationship.

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Speaker 3: You need to stay like like like your butt is

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Speaker 3: okay right now, but as you get old, it may spread.

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Speaker 1: But she's right, it doesn't sound like he likes black women.

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Speaker 1: Black or white, it doesn't matter. It doesn't sound like

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Speaker 1: this man likes her anymore, or.

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Speaker 2: It's an anti black So all of a sudden, you

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Speaker 2: came to this.

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Speaker 3: See, I don't really know if it's a black dude

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Speaker 3: all white dude, but I know you don't need to

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Speaker 3: be with him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Amen to that? All right?

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Speaker 3: Thank you, Steve, put my butt in a box, kiss it,

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Speaker 3: don't miss a corner.

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Speaker 1: Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram at

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM, and check us out on the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Free never sounded

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Speaker 1: so good coming up next to his junior and sports talk.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to Dave Harvey Morning Show