WEBVTT - I Choose… Open Nest over Empty Nest with Candace Cameron Bure 0:00:01.600 --> 0:00:04.760 You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. 0:00:08.560 --> 0:00:08.760 Hi. 0:00:08.800 --> 0:00:12.480 Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is about 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:15.800 the choices we make, and today I'm joined by actress 0:00:15.800 --> 0:00:19.919 and producer Candace Cameron Beret. It's a very exciting time 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:22.840 in the Beret family as they've recently had a gorgeous 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:25.079 wedding and we all got to have a sneak peek 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:28.480 of it. Candace is stepping into some exciting new projects, 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:32.280 including some with her grown children. In our conversation, we 0:00:32.320 --> 0:00:35.200 get into it all choices we make raising our kids, 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:38.400 what it takes to keep a marriage strong through life's 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:41.920 ups and downs, and how she's preparing for her next 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:45.960 chapter with strength and purpose. Let's jump in with Candace 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:49.839 Cameron Beret. Hi, I am excited to talk to you 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:57.040 so well. You just watched your daughter Natasha get married. Yes, 0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:02.040 I know how filled with joy and pride you must 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:05.080 have been when that was happening. What were you like 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:07.479 thinking when you're sitting there watching this happen. 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:12.240 I mean, it was such a beautiful day. It was 0:01:12.880 --> 0:01:16.800 everything that they hoped it would be. It's a bit 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:22.880 surreal when your kids get married and it's so emotional 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:27.080 you know. But there were so many activities that led 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:31.080 up to the event. There was the bridal shower, the 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:35.920 bachelorette weekend, and so all of those markers, and then 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:40.160 a lot of dinners in between with his family, our family, 0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:45.600 all kinds of things, and so a lot of words 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:51.400 and tears and laughs are said and shed before the 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:53.400 day of the event. So when you get to the 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:56.919 actual day of the ceremony, it was just it was beautiful, 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:59.200 and of course I cried, but I feel like I 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:02.400 got like the real ugly tears out before the wedding. 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:06.120 Oh good good, Yeah, I haven't done it yet, so 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.560 that's why I'm asking, like, get the tears, like advice, 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:10.560 get the tears out before the wedding. 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:15.959 Yeah, it was. It was. It was neat because Natasha 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:21.720 Bradley did their first look before the wedding, and like 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:24.320 my son didn't do that. The first time that they 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:26.880 saw each other was when she walked down the aisle 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:30.600 that day and I was there for the moment of 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:35.119 their first look and that's when I lost it and 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:38.160 I just I was a total mess because they were 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:40.680 just so sweet. It was private. I was like spying 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:42.160 in the bushes watching. 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:45.760 It that's what we have to do sometimes as moms. 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:51.520 And I was just like and then you know, so 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:56.040 then the ceremony was just like fun and beautiful and great. 0:02:57.160 --> 0:03:00.200 I'm so happy for you. I look forward to that 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:03.320 also sort of dreaded. I don't know, there's something about 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:08.200 like giving your daughters over to a guy and just 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:11.960 fingers crossed, you know, like good luck. 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:18.239 I know it does feel different to marry have your 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:24.240 son married versus your daughter, and yeah, it's it is different. 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:28.639 But the good thing is I have two great children 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:31.280 in laws. I love our daughter in law so much, 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:34.239 and we're so close, and love Bradley so much. He's 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:35.120 a wonderful man. 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:38.280 And your family's expanding before I. 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:40.680 Know, so it's great. I feel like, you know, we 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:44.080 won the lottery with our children's spouses. 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:48.520 You and I were both really young brides, like I was. 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:50.680 I think I might have been a year or two 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:53.400 a year older than you because you got married at twenty. 0:03:54.400 --> 0:03:57.880 That is early, I know, but for a lot of people, 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:01.680 especially nowadays, did you ever feel like the urge to 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:09.400 sort of persuade your daughter to consider waiting a little 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:10.320 longer than you did? 0:04:11.000 --> 0:04:14.560 Oh? No, not at all. I mean we loved that 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:22.839 we got married young, and I think that that that's 0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:26.400 like very I guess normal. Even my parents were married 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.359 very young. My mom was nineteen to my dad. My 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:31.760 brother was married young. I think he was twenty or 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:36.160 twenty one. So that doesn't scare me and doesn't scare 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:39.960 me with our kids at this age either. And so 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:44.360 even at twenty seven, I was like Natasha, come on, like, oh, 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:46.480 it's a little a little late. 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:49.160 Oh my god, I know I have a twenty eight 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:53.520 year old, and I'm like, well, what's gonna happen? She 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:57.120 doesn't know yet either, so it's kind of like a 0:04:57.160 --> 0:05:00.520 waiting game. But whatever is meant to be will happen, Yeah, 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:04.360 for sure, and it will all be great, yes, But 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:07.719 I'm so happy for your expanding family. You know something, 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:11.880 I think you know you are so great about being 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:16.760 in touch with your community that you've built on your platforms. 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:19.479 And I know, as somebody who is in a similar 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:23.880 situation to you, that there are so many positive things, 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:27.760 but there's something in me that will zero in on 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:32.880 the negative ones, like accidentally quote yeah, stumble upon the 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:36.400 one that's really nasty, or just like mean, you know, 0:05:37.200 --> 0:05:40.960 how talk to me about how you have handled that 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:45.200 when you see someone commenting, commenting somebody something on your 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:47.799 page that's totally out of nowhere. 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:52.320 Yeah, which I get all the time if like all 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:54.240 of us do in the public eye, you're always getting 0:05:54.720 --> 0:05:58.520 you're getting trolls on there. But it's the one it's 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:01.719 the ones for me that I have a harder time 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:07.240 with when when I feel that they are genuinely well meaning, 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:12.480 that they really think what they're telling you is contributing 0:06:12.600 --> 0:06:16.159 something positive or pointing out something that maybe you didn't know, 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:21.160 or you genuinely hurt their feelings because you don't understand 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:27.440 their perspective. Those are harder to not respond to. And 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:33.040 it does it when it affects when people misunderstand your 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:36.840 character and you're like, well that's I didn't mean it 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:39.560 that way, or well you don't know the whole picture. 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:44.560 You're seeing a snippet. You know. Most of the times 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:48.520 I just don't respond. Most of the times I just 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:52.520 let them go. And I'm not afraid to use my 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:56.760 block button when people are really mean and nasty. Why 0:06:57.240 --> 0:06:59.400 you don't need that nobody wants to even read that 0:06:59.440 --> 0:07:01.920 in the comment, you know, so happy to use that 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:06.039 block button and Every once in a while there will 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:08.880 be a comment where I will engage and say, well, 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:11.040 you know what, here's why I did that, or here's 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:13.560 why I said that, or maybe you could be more 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:17.200 thoughtful in sharing this information. Maybe you could privately say 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:21.800 it and not comment this publicly if you're really concerned 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:24.320 about me in some way, you know, and there are 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:28.440 nice ways to still say it. When I do respond back, 0:07:28.640 --> 0:07:33.000 it's always in a positive way, because you know, I 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:35.320 don't think you're going to change anyone's mind by just 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:37.400 being mean back to them. If you have the same 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:40.280 attitude that they have towards you, then it just turns 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:42.760 into this fight. And I'm not having an online fight 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:43.800 with someone. No. 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:46.480 I have to remind myself in the heat of my 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:50.200 moment of wanting to be like, hey, why be so nasty, 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.640 Like what's your problem? I have to remind myself. Did 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:56.080 you ever watch show Catfish? 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:56.880 I've seen it. 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:01.720 So they find people that are catfishing other people, and 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:04.360 they go find where they're living. And I watch that 0:08:04.360 --> 0:08:07.880 show a lot with my kids, and there's a back 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:13.280 house that has no windows and that's where they live. 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:16.520 And I always think that the person with those nasty comments. 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:19.040 I have to remind myself of their experience in life 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:22.880 and just like give them a little grace. Yeah, move on. 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:26.280 Yep, Yeah, I say this all the time, and it's 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:32.280 that phrase. You hurt people, hurt people, hurting people hurt people, 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:37.120 And that's usually what it is. People get defensive, they're mean, 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:41.320 they're nasty, but they're having they're struggling to they're struggling themselves, 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:43.640 and so's the that's the best thing you could do 0:08:43.800 --> 0:08:46.920 is give them grace or just ignore it and move on. 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:54.240 Yes. Yes, so you started acting when you were eleven 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:55.720 five five? 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:59.320 Oh, commercials, commercials, Yes, if you do a bunch when 0:08:59.360 --> 0:08:59.880 you were young. 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:05.200 No, I've never done a commercial, I can recall. 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:10.319 Yeah, I did commercials from five years old until ten 0:09:10.880 --> 0:09:14.400 once I booked full house and then and. 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:17.599 Then you grew up in front of the world. Yes, exactly, 0:09:18.200 --> 0:09:19.920 and you're still growing up in front of the world. 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:24.920 Isn't that wild? I know, it is, like, that's not normal, 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:29.920 you know, it's such a weird experience. I was a 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:33.400 little bit older than you. I was already like seventeen 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:36.680 when I started, okay, but not that I had any 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:40.040 more you know, understanding of who I was in the world, 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:43.480 or you know, I didn't never felt you know that, 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:46.120 I started later because I wanted to have a more 0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:49.880 secure life beginning. It's just the way it rolled out, right. 0:09:50.559 --> 0:09:54.800 Did you feel like did you ever feel like you 0:09:55.559 --> 0:10:00.400 were more apt to become a people pleaser of the 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:04.520 environment that we were put in and the pressures that 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:06.839 were put on us because we had to do what 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:09.800 we were told and we wanted the approval of our 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:14.400 directors and our castmates and the fans. Did you ever 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:18.240 fall into that pattern of like, I'm just doing things 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:19.319 to please everybody else? 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:22.920 Oh, totally. I'm still a people pleaser to this day. 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:25.880 I just know it and I recognize it, so then 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:29.840 I can make better decisions that aren't based on people pleasing. 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:33.400 But I'm a people pleaser at the core. Oh my goodness. 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:38.040 At one point I was talking to a friend. We 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:42.400 were talking about our people pleasing because he's the same way, 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:45.920 and he was like, but do you realize that's actually 0:10:45.960 --> 0:10:48.520 not a healthy thing? And I'm like, but I really 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:51.640 like making people happy, Like it makes me happy to 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:54.720 make people happy, and I really do like all of this. 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:57.040 And we just got into this huge conversation that I 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:57.360 was like. 0:10:57.920 --> 0:10:59.240 Well, where did you settle on it? 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:04.160 Then well, I walked away going really like it's a 0:11:04.200 --> 0:11:06.360 bad thing. It is a bad thing, and it and 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:09.360 then it genuinely got me thinking and as I thought 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:12.600 about it a whole lot more and then recognized where 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:19.000 where the line where the difference was of really you know, 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.480 you can quote unquote say people pleasing, but as a 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:26.040 person that genuinely wants to encourage or be helpful, to 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:28.720 have a servants heart, like those are all good things 0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:33.160 and qualities, but to just say yes, do what you're told, 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:37.000 just so that you make the other people happy, regardless 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:43.199 of the the effort, the energy, the tiredness, the struggle 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:45.760 that you're going through. If it's all about them, then 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:50.360 you're like, oh, got it that. Then there's then I 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:53.520 need to implement some healthy boundaries there have you have. 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:57.040 You recently been able to like recognize that and then 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:00.719 feel comfortable in those boundaries. This is something like relatively 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:03.640 like in your forties that you've discovered or did it 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:04.600 happen sooner for you? 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:08.120 Probably sooner, But I'd say like in the last ten 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:12.720 years that I really understood how much of a people 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:17.960 pleaser I am and then have certainly implemented boundaries that 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:21.520 have become much easier over the years. I have no 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:24.640 problem saying no. 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:26.960 Good yeah that some people have a problem with that. 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:32.120 I know, I know, but hopefully, you know, those of 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:34.760 us that are talking about it and encouraging people to 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:38.080 like create those healthy boundaries, Hopefully it's getting you know, 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.719 it's getting more acceptable because a lot of people think 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:43.440 boundaries are selfish or. 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:47.680 No, yeah, self serving. They're really healthy and they're good. 0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:52.160 But I'll still tell you that I love hearing well done, Candice, 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:56.200 great job. Like after I've done a show or done 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:59.960 my podcast or you know, film something, I'm always like, 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:02.880 how was it? How was I want the words of affirmation, 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:06.040 I'm like, was it good? Did I do a good job? Okay? Great? Great? 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:10.040 M I can relate because who doesn't want to feel 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:13.800 that yeah from somebody that you work with. You know, 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:18.200 I'm always one to say, great job, whatever the task was, 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:21.199 thank you so much. But I get what you're saying. Fully, 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:23.600 was there a point Has there been a point in 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:27.400 your life when you started to sort of tune in 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:31.760 to your life as a whole. Because you're coming up 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:33.960 on the fifty club, You're not there yet. 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:36.160 No next year, I'm doing it. 0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:41.000 Yes you are, I'll give you early welcome. But like 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:44.440 at fifty, things start to shift, I think, and mentally 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:46.480 we start to look at things a little bit differently. 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:49.800 Was there a point where you're like, I now recognize 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:54.199 the sort of maybe not so positive aspects that being 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:58.480 a child star had on me as Candace. 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:05.160 I mean, there certainly there are some things that I 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:08.200 could go back and say, oh this because I was 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:13.440 in the industry. This definitely shaped and molded this viewpoint 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:17.640 or how I felt about myself. Like on my podcast 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:21.520 this season, we are talking all about body image, and 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:26.720 we are going through sixteen weeks of a whole body 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:32.360 theology and framing it from the reference of your body, 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:38.520 your physical body, your mental and your heart and your 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:42.120 soul and how the three interconnect. But so much of 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:47.400 my viewpoint as a woman today was shaped how I 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:49.640 was younger, and a lot of that was because I 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:52.800 was on television. And so there's definitely things that have 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:58.400 affected me over the years that I, you know, recognize, 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:03.480 But I'll tell you that honestly, still wouldn't change any 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:07.000 of it. Like it's why I'm still in entertainment. Today 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.720 and do what I do because I love I love 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:12.760 where I'm at, where I'm at today, I love all 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:14.400 the things that I get to do. I love the 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:18.720 entertainment industry at its core because I like, I'm a storyteller. 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:21.760 I like to do those kinds of things. So I 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:24.440 still wouldn't take any of it away. But do I 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:27.200 recognize that some things weren't the same as my other 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:28.880 friends at the time? 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:32.080 Of course, Yeah, for sure. 0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:32.400 I know. 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:35.800 Body image is a big part of it too. For me. 0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:39.920 One of the areas where I'm like, h wow, Okay, 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:44.080 I didn't really recognize that until now. Yeah, now that 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:46.640 I do, let's work on cleaning that up, you know. 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:50.680 Yeah, And that's all you can do. The good thing 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:53.600 is to recognize it and then be willing to put 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:57.840 in the work to help kind of rewire your brain. 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:06.960 What do you do when you put in the work, Like, 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:11.640 how do you stay connected to yourself when you're busy 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:14.760 like you are and you're doing you know, movies back 0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:18.760 to back and appearances and all the things, and everybody's 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:21.720 taken some pieces of you and time from you, and 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.920 the end of the day, you're like, Okay, what's left 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:26.760 for me? To take care of myself, Like, how do 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:29.200 you connect back to that core? 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:35.280 I mean, my my biggest connection for me, which is 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:37.360 the start of my day is my is my time 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:42.680 with God. It is prayer and worship and just staying 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:47.520 grounded in God's word and remind myself of who I 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:52.520 am in terms of who God tells me and sees me, 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:56.480 you know, He created me, and reminding myself of all 0:16:56.520 --> 0:16:59.000 of those attributes and not what the world says that 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:01.840 I am or who say that I am, but who 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:05.560 God says that I am. And then and that helps 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:07.560 so much. And then at the end of the day, honestly, 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:12.000 my my place is just at home. I just want 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:16.159 to be with my husband and that he just helps 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:20.639 me disconnect and you know, we can sit and not 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:21.640 do anything and. 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:24.240 Just oh that's the best, get on the couch. 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:26.719 And veg and and that's how I kind of get 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:27.640 filled back up. 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:31.640 Yeah, me too, Just quiet a time at home with 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:33.800 my loved ones. Yeah, and we don't have to be 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:38.440 doing anything, yeah exactly, just that shared space that's safe 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:43.600 where you can actually unplug and do nothing and that's okay. Yeah, 0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:45.600 like you all kind of want it and need it 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:49.800 when you're in your little house. What you talked about 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:53.520 your husband. How is it now that you have an 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:54.880 empty nest fully? 0:17:55.880 --> 0:17:58.840 Well, I don't, though my youngest is still at home. 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:02.200 Okay, me one still at home too. Yeah, so I 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:06.840 want to be an empty nester like we do. Part 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:11.160 of me thinks I should experience that like i've, like you, 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:14.600 got married very early, started having kids really early, gave 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:18.000 my life up to raising the girls and working and 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:20.840 keeping all juggling all the things. And there's part of 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:23.520 me that's like, wow, other people are getting to be 0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:28.320 empty nesters, and like, I wonder what that's like, because 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:30.240 I don't have it fully and you don't either. 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:33.720 I've had it. I've had it fully have because they 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:35.520 and then they've come back and back. You know that 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:39.959 happens a lot and so and so. Currently I'm not 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:45.560 an empty master, but it's it's weird, man, when they're 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:53.280 all gone, the house is so quiet and it feels lonely. 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:55.480 Maybe if you have a pet. Do you have any 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:58.560 dogs or cats? Okay, that at least helps, yes, But 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:01.919 when all three of mine were gone, then my dog died. 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:05.720 It was beautiful dog. He was so beautiful he. 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:08.160 Was and it was, but it was like so sad 0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:11.680 to be at home. I'm just like, what, why? Why 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:16.360 is it so empty in here? You do you as 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:19.760 much as sometimes the hustle and bustle are the noise 0:19:19.800 --> 0:19:22.280 and the music and the fridge opening and closing. I mean, 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:24.280 I have two boys and a daughter, but you know, 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:27.679 the fridge just never stops opening and closing. With boys 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:32.320 and you you just miss all of those sounds, you know. 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:37.600 And so I'm actually now that because I have experience 0:19:37.680 --> 0:19:41.200 being an empty master. I love that Max is still 0:19:41.200 --> 0:19:44.000 at home with us right now, and I'm kind of 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:45.400 at a moment of it. 0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:47.879 I know, I'm like, you can just live here forever. 0:19:47.960 --> 0:19:52.040 It's fine. You do a lot. You do a lot 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:55.439 of exercising and fitness, and I know that's really important 0:19:55.440 --> 0:20:00.480 to you. What happens does Candice? Can remember have her 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:03.000 ball off the wagon when it comes to exercise? 0:20:03.800 --> 0:20:07.840 Oh well, yes, yes? And no. I saw that you 0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:09.600 recently had Cameron Mathison on. 0:20:10.320 --> 0:20:13.480 Who played our love interests. 0:20:13.600 --> 0:20:17.359 I know you've had him for several movies too, And 0:20:17.400 --> 0:20:21.280 then we finally worked together last year and I was like, Cameron, 0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:25.120 where have you been all my life? Like, because I've 0:20:25.200 --> 0:20:28.280 known him for so long, but we never worked together 0:20:28.560 --> 0:20:33.119 in a film, and anyway, we were just He's just 0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:35.840 so easy to work with, so I've loved it. But anyway, 0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:40.480 he's a fitness enthusiast and now has started his own 0:20:40.520 --> 0:20:45.480 company in that way. But even connecting with him last 0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:49.880 year helped me boost my fitness game even more, which 0:20:49.960 --> 0:20:52.879 I love. That's why I brought him up. But I 0:20:53.040 --> 0:20:59.120 definitely I've been pretty consistent for twenty years, really enjoying 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:02.280 fitness and working out. But when I am working, when 0:21:02.320 --> 0:21:05.439 I'm filming a movie, I don't put the expectation on 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:09.480 myself that I can maintain my fitness regimen the way 0:21:09.920 --> 0:21:13.040 I can when I'm not working, So fall off the wagon. 0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:17.080 I'm like, yes, because it's intentional. I just know that 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:20.479 I can't keep my energy up on a fifteen sixteen 0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:23.520 hour day, five days a week and get a full, 0:21:24.160 --> 0:21:27.840 heavyweighted workout in. So you know, I just know that, Hey, 0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:30.320 for three weeks, four weeks, I'm going to do some 0:21:30.440 --> 0:21:32.879 very light things. I'll work out on the weekend and 0:21:33.240 --> 0:21:35.760 I pick it right back up once it's finished. 0:21:36.440 --> 0:21:39.000 Yeah, I feel you because you have to kind of 0:21:39.040 --> 0:21:42.960 prioritize and yourself and your own energy and your own 0:21:43.040 --> 0:21:45.959 like can't. I gotta get through this the best I 0:21:46.000 --> 0:21:49.119 can and then I'll come back to that. Yeah, I 0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:51.639 do that too. It's kind of like compartmentalizing it in 0:21:51.640 --> 0:21:55.919 a way, but I feel like I try. It's very 0:21:56.000 --> 0:21:59.159 challenging when you're working a lot and traveling a lot. Yeah, 0:21:59.440 --> 0:22:01.000 I don't. Yeah, but I love it. 0:22:01.040 --> 0:22:05.399 I'm I'm. I have series goals, which is why I 0:22:05.520 --> 0:22:08.000 upped my fitness game in the last year. 0:22:08.440 --> 0:22:09.639 Goals, what are they? 0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:14.199 I because I really want to enter my fifties at 0:22:14.760 --> 0:22:19.000 like peak shape, peak shape for me, and that truly 0:22:19.080 --> 0:22:23.840 is my birthday gift to myself. So at forty eight, 0:22:23.880 --> 0:22:26.919 I'm like, I'm starting this. I'm gonna just do what 0:22:26.960 --> 0:22:30.320 I haven't done yet so that I can create different results. 0:22:30.400 --> 0:22:32.359 And I want to enter I want to enter the 0:22:32.400 --> 0:22:37.840 fifties feeling the best that I can feel, and hopefully 0:22:38.240 --> 0:22:42.360 enter menopause or perimenopause. I don't really have any symptoms 0:22:42.359 --> 0:22:46.879 of perimenopause yet, no, but I want to enter that 0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:49.399 in the best physical shape so I have the best 0:22:49.440 --> 0:22:52.720 experience I can possibly have. Because I hear all the stories, 0:22:52.840 --> 0:22:54.919 I know how awful it can be, and I'm like, 0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:57.159 I want to do whatever I can, so I don't 0:22:57.320 --> 0:22:57.720 have that. 0:22:58.160 --> 0:23:01.240 It's not awful, it's you know, it's just something new 0:23:01.280 --> 0:23:03.600 to deal with. So I think it's kind of a universal, 0:23:04.320 --> 0:23:10.080 very relatable space that you're talking about. Yeah, yes, I 0:23:10.160 --> 0:23:15.159 know that. You are talking also on your podcast about 0:23:15.200 --> 0:23:18.680 aging m I saw recently you were talking about your neck, 0:23:19.760 --> 0:23:23.080 that whole situation with yes, picking up girl. 0:23:23.160 --> 0:23:25.720 I feel like my neck is pretty fine. Your neck looks, 0:23:25.840 --> 0:23:28.560 which reds why I was surprised it got called out. 0:23:29.520 --> 0:23:33.159 Your neck looks great a turtle neck on, but like, 0:23:33.200 --> 0:23:35.080 I don't wear them often. I'm not trying to hide 0:23:35.080 --> 0:23:35.440 my neck. 0:23:35.520 --> 0:23:37.879 I think, oh, I wear them to hide things, trust me. 0:23:39.480 --> 0:23:44.240 But I feel like it's kind of similar to when 0:23:44.280 --> 0:23:49.199 I was younger. I had an actor tell me, you know, 0:23:49.720 --> 0:23:51.760 you can really tell the age of a woman by 0:23:51.760 --> 0:23:55.560 her elbows, and I was like, this is me and 0:23:55.600 --> 0:23:56.080 my twenties. 0:23:56.119 --> 0:24:01.400 Did you say your wenus is showing no? 0:24:01.400 --> 0:24:04.399 No, but he did. He made me think about something 0:24:04.440 --> 0:24:07.800 I had never thought about, and then yeah, that's annoying internalized, like, 0:24:07.880 --> 0:24:10.480