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Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl.

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Speaker 2: Hi.

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Speaker 1: Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is about

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Speaker 1: the choices we make, and today I'm joined by actress

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Speaker 1: and producer Candace Cameron Beret. It's a very exciting time

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Speaker 1: in the Beret family as they've recently had a gorgeous

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Speaker 1: wedding and we all got to have a sneak peek

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Speaker 1: of it. Candace is stepping into some exciting new projects,

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Speaker 1: including some with her grown children. In our conversation, we

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Speaker 1: get into it all choices we make raising our kids,

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Speaker 1: what it takes to keep a marriage strong through life's

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Speaker 1: ups and downs, and how she's preparing for her next

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Speaker 1: chapter with strength and purpose. Let's jump in with Candace

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Speaker 1: Cameron Beret. Hi, I am excited to talk to you

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Speaker 1: so well. You just watched your daughter Natasha get married. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I know how filled with joy and pride you must

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Speaker 1: have been when that was happening. What were you like

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Speaker 1: thinking when you're sitting there watching this happen.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it was such a beautiful day. It was

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Speaker 2: everything that they hoped it would be. It's a bit

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Speaker 2: surreal when your kids get married and it's so emotional

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Speaker 2: you know. But there were so many activities that led

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Speaker 2: up to the event. There was the bridal shower, the

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Speaker 2: bachelorette weekend, and so all of those markers, and then

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Speaker 2: a lot of dinners in between with his family, our family,

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Speaker 2: all kinds of things, and so a lot of words

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Speaker 2: and tears and laughs are said and shed before the

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Speaker 2: day of the event. So when you get to the

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Speaker 2: actual day of the ceremony, it was just it was beautiful,

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Speaker 2: and of course I cried, but I feel like I

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Speaker 2: got like the real ugly tears out before the wedding.

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Speaker 1: Oh good good, Yeah, I haven't done it yet, so

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Speaker 1: that's why I'm asking, like, get the tears, like advice,

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Speaker 1: get the tears out before the wedding.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. It was. It was neat because Natasha

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Speaker 2: Bradley did their first look before the wedding, and like

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Speaker 2: my son didn't do that. The first time that they

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Speaker 2: saw each other was when she walked down the aisle

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Speaker 2: that day and I was there for the moment of

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Speaker 2: their first look and that's when I lost it and

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Speaker 2: I just I was a total mess because they were

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Speaker 2: just so sweet. It was private. I was like spying

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Speaker 2: in the bushes watching.

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Speaker 1: It that's what we have to do sometimes as moms.

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Speaker 2: And I was just like and then you know, so

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Speaker 2: then the ceremony was just like fun and beautiful and great.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you. I look forward to that

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Speaker 1: also sort of dreaded. I don't know, there's something about

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Speaker 1: like giving your daughters over to a guy and just

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Speaker 1: fingers crossed, you know, like good luck.

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Speaker 2: I know it does feel different to marry have your

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Speaker 2: son married versus your daughter, and yeah, it's it is different.

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Speaker 2: But the good thing is I have two great children

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Speaker 2: in laws. I love our daughter in law so much,

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Speaker 2: and we're so close, and love Bradley so much. He's

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Speaker 2: a wonderful man.

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Speaker 1: And your family's expanding before I.

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Speaker 2: Know, so it's great. I feel like, you know, we

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Speaker 2: won the lottery with our children's spouses.

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Speaker 1: You and I were both really young brides, like I was.

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Speaker 1: I think I might have been a year or two

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Speaker 1: a year older than you because you got married at twenty.

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Speaker 1: That is early, I know, but for a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: especially nowadays, did you ever feel like the urge to

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Speaker 1: sort of persuade your daughter to consider waiting a little

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Speaker 1: longer than you did?

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Speaker 2: Oh? No, not at all. I mean we loved that

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Speaker 2: we got married young, and I think that that that's

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Speaker 2: like very I guess normal. Even my parents were married

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Speaker 2: very young. My mom was nineteen to my dad. My

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Speaker 2: brother was married young. I think he was twenty or

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Speaker 2: twenty one. So that doesn't scare me and doesn't scare

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Speaker 2: me with our kids at this age either. And so

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Speaker 2: even at twenty seven, I was like Natasha, come on, like, oh,

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Speaker 2: it's a little a little late.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know I have a twenty eight

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Speaker 1: year old, and I'm like, well, what's gonna happen? She

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Speaker 1: doesn't know yet either, so it's kind of like a

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Speaker 1: waiting game. But whatever is meant to be will happen, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for sure, and it will all be great, yes, But

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy for your expanding family. You know something,

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Speaker 1: I think you know you are so great about being

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Speaker 1: in touch with your community that you've built on your platforms.

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Speaker 1: And I know, as somebody who is in a similar

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Speaker 1: situation to you, that there are so many positive things,

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Speaker 1: but there's something in me that will zero in on

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Speaker 1: the negative ones, like accidentally quote yeah, stumble upon the

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Speaker 1: one that's really nasty, or just like mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: how talk to me about how you have handled that

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Speaker 1: when you see someone commenting, commenting somebody something on your

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Speaker 1: page that's totally out of nowhere.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, which I get all the time if like all

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Speaker 2: of us do in the public eye, you're always getting

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Speaker 2: you're getting trolls on there. But it's the one it's

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Speaker 2: the ones for me that I have a harder time

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Speaker 2: with when when I feel that they are genuinely well meaning,

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Speaker 2: that they really think what they're telling you is contributing

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Speaker 2: something positive or pointing out something that maybe you didn't know,

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Speaker 2: or you genuinely hurt their feelings because you don't understand

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Speaker 2: their perspective. Those are harder to not respond to. And

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Speaker 2: it does it when it affects when people misunderstand your

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Speaker 2: character and you're like, well that's I didn't mean it

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Speaker 2: that way, or well you don't know the whole picture.

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Speaker 2: You're seeing a snippet. You know. Most of the times

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Speaker 2: I just don't respond. Most of the times I just

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Speaker 2: let them go. And I'm not afraid to use my

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Speaker 2: block button when people are really mean and nasty. Why

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Speaker 2: you don't need that nobody wants to even read that

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Speaker 2: in the comment, you know, so happy to use that

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Speaker 2: block button and Every once in a while there will

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Speaker 2: be a comment where I will engage and say, well,

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Speaker 2: you know what, here's why I did that, or here's

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Speaker 2: why I said that, or maybe you could be more

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Speaker 2: thoughtful in sharing this information. Maybe you could privately say

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Speaker 2: it and not comment this publicly if you're really concerned

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Speaker 2: about me in some way, you know, and there are

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Speaker 2: nice ways to still say it. When I do respond back,

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Speaker 2: it's always in a positive way, because you know, I

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Speaker 2: don't think you're going to change anyone's mind by just

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Speaker 2: being mean back to them. If you have the same

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Speaker 2: attitude that they have towards you, then it just turns

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Speaker 2: into this fight. And I'm not having an online fight

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Speaker 2: with someone. No.

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Speaker 1: I have to remind myself in the heat of my

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Speaker 1: moment of wanting to be like, hey, why be so nasty,

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Speaker 1: Like what's your problem? I have to remind myself. Did

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Speaker 1: you ever watch show Catfish?

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Speaker 2: I've seen it.

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Speaker 1: So they find people that are catfishing other people, and

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Speaker 1: they go find where they're living. And I watch that

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Speaker 1: show a lot with my kids, and there's a back

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Speaker 1: house that has no windows and that's where they live.

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Speaker 1: And I always think that the person with those nasty comments.

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Speaker 1: I have to remind myself of their experience in life

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Speaker 1: and just like give them a little grace. Yeah, move on.

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Speaker 2: Yep, Yeah, I say this all the time, and it's

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Speaker 2: that phrase. You hurt people, hurt people, hurting people hurt people,

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Speaker 2: And that's usually what it is. People get defensive, they're mean,

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Speaker 2: they're nasty, but they're having they're struggling to they're struggling themselves,

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Speaker 2: and so's the that's the best thing you could do

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Speaker 2: is give them grace or just ignore it and move on.

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Speaker 1: Yes. Yes, so you started acting when you were eleven

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Speaker 1: five five?

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Speaker 2: Oh, commercials, commercials, Yes, if you do a bunch when

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Speaker 2: you were young.

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Speaker 1: No, I've never done a commercial, I can recall.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I did commercials from five years old until ten

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Speaker 2: once I booked full house and then and.

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Speaker 1: Then you grew up in front of the world. Yes, exactly,

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Speaker 1: and you're still growing up in front of the world.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that wild? I know, it is, like, that's not normal,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's such a weird experience. I was a

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Speaker 1: little bit older than you. I was already like seventeen

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Speaker 1: when I started, okay, but not that I had any

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Speaker 1: more you know, understanding of who I was in the world,

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Speaker 1: or you know, I didn't never felt you know that,

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Speaker 1: I started later because I wanted to have a more

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Speaker 1: secure life beginning. It's just the way it rolled out, right.

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Speaker 1: Did you feel like did you ever feel like you

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Speaker 1: were more apt to become a people pleaser of the

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Speaker 1: environment that we were put in and the pressures that

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Speaker 1: were put on us because we had to do what

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Speaker 1: we were told and we wanted the approval of our

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Speaker 1: directors and our castmates and the fans. Did you ever

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Speaker 1: fall into that pattern of like, I'm just doing things

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Speaker 1: to please everybody else?

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Speaker 2: Oh, totally. I'm still a people pleaser to this day.

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Speaker 2: I just know it and I recognize it, so then

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Speaker 2: I can make better decisions that aren't based on people pleasing.

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Speaker 2: But I'm a people pleaser at the core. Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: At one point I was talking to a friend. We

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Speaker 2: were talking about our people pleasing because he's the same way,

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Speaker 2: and he was like, but do you realize that's actually

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Speaker 2: not a healthy thing? And I'm like, but I really

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Speaker 2: like making people happy, Like it makes me happy to

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Speaker 2: make people happy, and I really do like all of this.

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Speaker 2: And we just got into this huge conversation that I

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Speaker 2: was like.

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Speaker 1: Well, where did you settle on it?

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Speaker 2: Then well, I walked away going really like it's a

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Speaker 2: bad thing. It is a bad thing, and it and

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Speaker 2: then it genuinely got me thinking and as I thought

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Speaker 2: about it a whole lot more and then recognized where

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Speaker 2: where the line where the difference was of really you know,

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Speaker 2: you can quote unquote say people pleasing, but as a

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Speaker 2: person that genuinely wants to encourage or be helpful, to

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Speaker 2: have a servants heart, like those are all good things

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Speaker 2: and qualities, but to just say yes, do what you're told,

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Speaker 2: just so that you make the other people happy, regardless

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Speaker 2: of the the effort, the energy, the tiredness, the struggle

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Speaker 2: that you're going through. If it's all about them, then

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Speaker 2: you're like, oh, got it that. Then there's then I

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Speaker 2: need to implement some healthy boundaries there have you have.

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Speaker 1: You recently been able to like recognize that and then

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Speaker 1: feel comfortable in those boundaries. This is something like relatively

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Speaker 1: like in your forties that you've discovered or did it

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Speaker 1: happen sooner for you?

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Speaker 2: Probably sooner, But I'd say like in the last ten

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Speaker 2: years that I really understood how much of a people

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Speaker 2: pleaser I am and then have certainly implemented boundaries that

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Speaker 2: have become much easier over the years. I have no

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Speaker 2: problem saying no.

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Speaker 1: Good yeah that some people have a problem with that.

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Speaker 1: I know, I know, but hopefully, you know, those of

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Speaker 1: us that are talking about it and encouraging people to

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Speaker 1: like create those healthy boundaries, Hopefully it's getting you know,

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Speaker 1: it's getting more acceptable because a lot of people think

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Speaker 1: boundaries are selfish or.

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Speaker 2: No, yeah, self serving. They're really healthy and they're good.

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Speaker 2: But I'll still tell you that I love hearing well done, Candice,

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Speaker 2: great job. Like after I've done a show or done

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Speaker 2: my podcast or you know, film something, I'm always like,

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Speaker 2: how was it? How was I want the words of affirmation,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, was it good? Did I do a good job? Okay? Great? Great?

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Speaker 1: M I can relate because who doesn't want to feel

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Speaker 1: that yeah from somebody that you work with. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm always one to say, great job, whatever the task was,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much. But I get what you're saying. Fully,

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Speaker 1: was there a point Has there been a point in

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Speaker 1: your life when you started to sort of tune in

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Speaker 1: to your life as a whole. Because you're coming up

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Speaker 1: on the fifty club, You're not there yet.

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Speaker 2: No next year, I'm doing it.

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Speaker 1: Yes you are, I'll give you early welcome. But like

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Speaker 1: at fifty, things start to shift, I think, and mentally

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Speaker 1: we start to look at things a little bit differently.

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Speaker 1: Was there a point where you're like, I now recognize

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Speaker 1: the sort of maybe not so positive aspects that being

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Speaker 1: a child star had on me as Candace.

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Speaker 2: I mean, there certainly there are some things that I

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Speaker 2: could go back and say, oh this because I was

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Speaker 2: in the industry. This definitely shaped and molded this viewpoint

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Speaker 2: or how I felt about myself. Like on my podcast

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Speaker 2: this season, we are talking all about body image, and

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Speaker 2: we are going through sixteen weeks of a whole body

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Speaker 2: theology and framing it from the reference of your body,

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Speaker 2: your physical body, your mental and your heart and your

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Speaker 2: soul and how the three interconnect. But so much of

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Speaker 2: my viewpoint as a woman today was shaped how I

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Speaker 2: was younger, and a lot of that was because I

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Speaker 2: was on television. And so there's definitely things that have

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Speaker 2: affected me over the years that I, you know, recognize,

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Speaker 2: But I'll tell you that honestly, still wouldn't change any

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Speaker 2: of it. Like it's why I'm still in entertainment. Today

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Speaker 2: and do what I do because I love I love

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Speaker 2: where I'm at, where I'm at today, I love all

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Speaker 2: the things that I get to do. I love the

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Speaker 2: entertainment industry at its core because I like, I'm a storyteller.

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Speaker 2: I like to do those kinds of things. So I

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Speaker 2: still wouldn't take any of it away. But do I

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Speaker 2: recognize that some things weren't the same as my other

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Speaker 2: friends at the time?

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Speaker 1: Of course, Yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 1: Body image is a big part of it too. For me.

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Speaker 1: One of the areas where I'm like, h wow, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I didn't really recognize that until now. Yeah, now that

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Speaker 1: I do, let's work on cleaning that up, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's all you can do. The good thing

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Speaker 2: is to recognize it and then be willing to put

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Speaker 2: in the work to help kind of rewire your brain.

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Speaker 1: What do you do when you put in the work, Like,

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Speaker 1: how do you stay connected to yourself when you're busy

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Speaker 1: like you are and you're doing you know, movies back

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Speaker 1: to back and appearances and all the things, and everybody's

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Speaker 1: taken some pieces of you and time from you, and

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, you're like, Okay, what's left

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Speaker 1: for me? To take care of myself, Like, how do

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Speaker 1: you connect back to that core?

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Speaker 2: I mean, my my biggest connection for me, which is

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Speaker 2: the start of my day is my is my time

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Speaker 2: with God. It is prayer and worship and just staying

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Speaker 2: grounded in God's word and remind myself of who I

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Speaker 2: am in terms of who God tells me and sees me,

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Speaker 2: you know, He created me, and reminding myself of all

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Speaker 2: of those attributes and not what the world says that

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Speaker 2: I am or who say that I am, but who

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Speaker 2: God says that I am. And then and that helps

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Speaker 2: so much. And then at the end of the day, honestly,

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Speaker 2: my my place is just at home. I just want

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Speaker 2: to be with my husband and that he just helps

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Speaker 2: me disconnect and you know, we can sit and not

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Speaker 2: do anything and.

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Speaker 1: Just oh that's the best, get on the couch.

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Speaker 2: And veg and and that's how I kind of get

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Speaker 2: filled back up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, Just quiet a time at home with

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Speaker 1: my loved ones. Yeah, and we don't have to be

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Speaker 1: doing anything, yeah exactly, just that shared space that's safe

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Speaker 1: where you can actually unplug and do nothing and that's okay. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like you all kind of want it and need it

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Speaker 1: when you're in your little house. What you talked about

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Speaker 1: your husband. How is it now that you have an

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Speaker 1: empty nest fully?

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't, though my youngest is still at home.

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Speaker 1: Okay, me one still at home too. Yeah, so I

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Speaker 1: want to be an empty nester like we do. Part

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Speaker 1: of me thinks I should experience that like i've, like you,

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Speaker 1: got married very early, started having kids really early, gave

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Speaker 1: my life up to raising the girls and working and

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Speaker 1: keeping all juggling all the things. And there's part of

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Speaker 1: me that's like, wow, other people are getting to be

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Speaker 1: empty nesters, and like, I wonder what that's like, because

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Speaker 1: I don't have it fully and you don't either.

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Speaker 2: I've had it. I've had it fully have because they

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Speaker 2: and then they've come back and back. You know that

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Speaker 2: happens a lot and so and so. Currently I'm not

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Speaker 2: an empty master, but it's it's weird, man, when they're

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Speaker 2: all gone, the house is so quiet and it feels lonely.

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Speaker 2: Maybe if you have a pet. Do you have any

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Speaker 2: dogs or cats? Okay, that at least helps, yes, But

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Speaker 2: when all three of mine were gone, then my dog died.

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Speaker 1: It was beautiful dog. He was so beautiful he.

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Speaker 2: Was and it was, but it was like so sad

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Speaker 2: to be at home. I'm just like, what, why? Why

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Speaker 2: is it so empty in here? You do you as

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Speaker 2: much as sometimes the hustle and bustle are the noise

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Speaker 2: and the music and the fridge opening and closing. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I have two boys and a daughter, but you know,

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Speaker 2: the fridge just never stops opening and closing. With boys

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Speaker 2: and you you just miss all of those sounds, you know.

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Speaker 2: And so I'm actually now that because I have experience

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Speaker 2: being an empty master. I love that Max is still

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Speaker 2: at home with us right now, and I'm kind of

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Speaker 2: at a moment of it.

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Speaker 1: I know, I'm like, you can just live here forever.

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Speaker 1: It's fine. You do a lot. You do a lot

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Speaker 1: of exercising and fitness, and I know that's really important

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Speaker 1: to you. What happens does Candice? Can remember have her

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Speaker 1: ball off the wagon when it comes to exercise?

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Speaker 2: Oh well, yes, yes? And no. I saw that you

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Speaker 2: recently had Cameron Mathison on.

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Speaker 1: Who played our love interests.

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Speaker 2: I know you've had him for several movies too, And

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Speaker 2: then we finally worked together last year and I was like, Cameron,

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Speaker 2: where have you been all my life? Like, because I've

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Speaker 2: known him for so long, but we never worked together

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Speaker 2: in a film, and anyway, we were just He's just

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Speaker 2: so easy to work with, so I've loved it. But anyway,

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Speaker 2: he's a fitness enthusiast and now has started his own

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Speaker 2: company in that way. But even connecting with him last

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Speaker 2: year helped me boost my fitness game even more, which

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Speaker 2: I love. That's why I brought him up. But I

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Speaker 2: definitely I've been pretty consistent for twenty years, really enjoying

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Speaker 2: fitness and working out. But when I am working, when

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Speaker 2: I'm filming a movie, I don't put the expectation on

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Speaker 2: myself that I can maintain my fitness regimen the way

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Speaker 2: I can when I'm not working, So fall off the wagon.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, because it's intentional. I just know that

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Speaker 2: I can't keep my energy up on a fifteen sixteen

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Speaker 2: hour day, five days a week and get a full,

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Speaker 2: heavyweighted workout in. So you know, I just know that, Hey,

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Speaker 2: for three weeks, four weeks, I'm going to do some

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Speaker 2: very light things. I'll work out on the weekend and

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Speaker 2: I pick it right back up once it's finished.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel you because you have to kind of

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Speaker 1: prioritize and yourself and your own energy and your own

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Speaker 1: like can't. I gotta get through this the best I

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Speaker 1: can and then I'll come back to that. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: do that too. It's kind of like compartmentalizing it in

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Speaker 1: a way, but I feel like I try. It's very

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Speaker 1: challenging when you're working a lot and traveling a lot. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah, but I love it.

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Speaker 2: I'm I'm. I have series goals, which is why I

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Speaker 2: upped my fitness game in the last year.

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Speaker 1: Goals, what are they?

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Speaker 2: I because I really want to enter my fifties at

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Speaker 2: like peak shape, peak shape for me, and that truly

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Speaker 2: is my birthday gift to myself. So at forty eight,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm starting this. I'm gonna just do what

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Speaker 2: I haven't done yet so that I can create different results.

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Speaker 2: And I want to enter I want to enter the

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Speaker 2: fifties feeling the best that I can feel, and hopefully

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Speaker 2: enter menopause or perimenopause. I don't really have any symptoms

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Speaker 2: of perimenopause yet, no, but I want to enter that

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Speaker 2: in the best physical shape so I have the best

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Speaker 2: experience I can possibly have. Because I hear all the stories,

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Speaker 2: I know how awful it can be, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I want to do whatever I can, so I don't

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Speaker 2: have that.

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Speaker 1: It's not awful, it's you know, it's just something new

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Speaker 1: to deal with. So I think it's kind of a universal,

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Speaker 1: very relatable space that you're talking about. Yeah, yes, I

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Speaker 1: know that. You are talking also on your podcast about

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Speaker 1: aging m I saw recently you were talking about your neck,

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Speaker 1: that whole situation with yes, picking up girl.

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Speaker 2: I feel like my neck is pretty fine. Your neck looks,

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Speaker 2: which reds why I was surprised it got called out.

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Speaker 2: Your neck looks great a turtle neck on, but like,

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Speaker 2: I don't wear them often. I'm not trying to hide

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Speaker 2: my neck.

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Speaker 1: I think, oh, I wear them to hide things, trust me.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like it's kind of similar to when

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Speaker 1: I was younger. I had an actor tell me, you know,

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Speaker 1: you can really tell the age of a woman by

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Speaker 1: her elbows, and I was like, this is me and

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Speaker 1: my twenties.

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Speaker 2: Did you say your wenus is showing no?

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Speaker 1: No, but he did. He made me think about something

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Speaker 1: I had never thought about, and then yeah, that's annoying internalized, like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, another thing for me to have to

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Speaker 1: feel bad about myself as I get older my elbows,

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Speaker 1: I would think weird.

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Speaker 2: I know who would say that that's weird.

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Speaker 1: It's weird, but it's stuck with me. So I can

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Speaker 1: imagine feeling that same way anytime. I think, when you're vulnerable,

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Speaker 1: you put yourself out there on screen in these roles,

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Speaker 1: you know, and in I've not always been that fond

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Speaker 1: of watching my work, so when I do watch it,

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Speaker 1: I'm my own worst critic. But then to have somebody

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Speaker 1: else over my shoulder giving me their commentary of what's

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Speaker 1: not great about me, then I'm just like next level.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, it's a strange business that we're in

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Speaker 2: and that way that people are allowed to scrutinize you,

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Speaker 2: even when it's coming from a good place. Because sometimes

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Speaker 2: like in my case, like the which was the whole

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Speaker 2: neck thing we were doing. We were doing like digital

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Speaker 2: effects to make me look younger. I was supposed to

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Speaker 2: look like I was thirty years old, and so that's

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Speaker 2: why it got pointed out the places they were going

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Speaker 2: to concentrate to make me look younger. So it wasn't

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Speaker 2: even it wasn't mean spirited in any way.

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Speaker 1: It was kind of like factual, Like it was factual. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we need to deal with it on your neck.

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Speaker 2: And your crow's feet and your foreheadlines. It was like cool,

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Speaker 2: but now I'm going to think about them all the time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for that. Yeah, it's it's a tricky thing

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Speaker 1: aging in the public eye and like staying really grounded

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Speaker 1: in your love for yourself and like you your ability

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Speaker 1: to sort of shut out all the other voices.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I I just I think the pressure

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Speaker 2: is the worst part for me. And it's pressure from

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Speaker 2: other actors and not that they're actually putting pressure on us,

434
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 2: but you're just looking at, well, who's in my age range?

435
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,439
Speaker 2: What do they look like? I mean, you look at

436
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:23,679
Speaker 2: j Lo who's fifty what and you're like, she's gorgeous,

437
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 2: she's stunning, she's so beautiful. And then you're like looking

438
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 2: at your own wrinkles and and so there's there's this

439
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 2: beauty standard when you look at some people, even though

440
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 2: they're not talking about it. No, they're not telling you

441
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,159
Speaker 2: you need to do it, but you're just looking at

442
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 2: everyone going, wow, I'm younger than them, but I look

443
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 2: older than them, and you recognize, well, they probably had

444
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 2: stuff done. Well should I do that? And if I

445
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,679
Speaker 2: do do something, how far is too far? What am

446
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,199
Speaker 2: I comfortable with? What's gonna you know? And then it

447
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 2: just it just spirals and it's all At least for me,

448
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 2: I just think about it way more than I want to,

449
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 2: because if I was not an actor or in the business,

450
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 2: like my mom's never had anything done to her face. Never,

451
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 2: She's seventy five and she's beautiful, and I'm like, I

452
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 2: want to age like my mom, And I don't think

453
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 2: if I were in front of the camera, I wouldn't

454
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 2: even think about doing things to my face. But it's

455
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 2: like the pressure feels like it's there. And then it's

456
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 2: my choice to say, well, I'm am I going to

457
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 2: allow that to dictate my choices what I see in

458
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 2: other people? Or am I going to age the way

459
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 2: that I truly desire in my heart and whatever that

460
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,160
Speaker 2: way it is? And for me, I want to age naturally.

461
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,159
Speaker 2: But never say never. Man, I just don't know how

462
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,680
Speaker 2: I'm gonna feel, and one year and five years and

463
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:46,919
Speaker 2: twenty years, I don't.

464
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 1: And that's your choice, That's exactly. It's every woman should

465
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 1: get to do whatever she wants to do with her

466
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: body or face everything. So I feel you on that,

467
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 1: and it's definitely, Like the pressure is not so much

468
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: from outside, it's from inside. For me, like it's it

469
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 1: turns into like an inner criticism or just awareness. Yeah,

470
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:16,119
Speaker 1: and then that can just kind of, like you know,

471
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 1: spiral around. Yeah, I know, I take you to unhealthy places.

472
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 2: That that again is why I stay grounded in God's

473
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 2: word and who what does God say about me? And

474
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,640
Speaker 2: not my own spiraling thoughts.

475
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 1: Because you can't trust those sometimes exactly. Your kids all

476
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:45,880
Speaker 1: seem very happy and very well adjusted, and I from

477
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: what I can tell, they've had a wonderful upbringing, like

478
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 1: any any family that has such glowing things to say

479
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: about their mom and dad. I just noticed that they

480
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: all speak so highly of you and your husband.

481
00:28:58,160 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 2: Thank you.

482
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: How I mean, did you and your husband from the

483
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 1: get go have very similar styles in how you wanted

484
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 1: to parent your kids or was that something you had

485
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: to kind of find Is it something you have to

486
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: revisit occasionally?

487
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, certainly, certainly revisit occasionally. But I would say we

488
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 2: definitely had similar styles. I mean, we were both My

489
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 2: husband's not an actor, but he was a professional athlete,

490
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 2: and so in the same way, just like I started

491
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 2: working at five, he started working at four, you know,

492
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 2: because he was just on the ice and skating every day.

493
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 2: And so we are very disciplined people and within our

494
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 2: and structured people, and so that was something that translated

495
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 2: automatically into our parenting is how as to how we

496
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 2: wanted to do that, But we definitely had to find

497
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 2: our rhythm over the years with specific things and how

498
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 2: we chose to interact with each other and with our kids.

499
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 2: When we disagreed on something that was either at the

500
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 2: same time we disagreed or maybe you know, your child

501
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 2: is asking mom something, you give an answer, they don't

502
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 2: like it. They automatically go to dad to see if

503
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 2: they're going to get a different answer, and if they do,

504
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 2: then you're you end up being mad at your you know,

505
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 2: your husband goes why I already told them no and

506
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 2: you just said yes, and well I didn't know that,

507
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 2: and then you end up fighting, and I'm like, dude,

508
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 2: this is the whole this is the kid's fault.

509
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 1: That's what they want.

510
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 2: They got us fighting. So it's like you get put

511
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 2: in that situation enough times that you you you you know,

512
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 2: realize it and the little bell goes off. So before

513
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 2: you even start, we val and I would establish ground

514
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 2: rules Okay, here's what happens, so that they cannot manipulate us,

515
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 2: and we would have all these discussions all the time,

516
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 2: and I think you know, in that case, we would say, Okay,

517
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 2: if if one of the kids comes up and asks

518
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 2: can I have this cookie? The first thing that either

519
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 2: one of us says is did you already ask your mom?

520
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,479
Speaker 2: Or did you already ask your dad? And they got

521
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 2: as good for it, And so we did stuff like that,

522
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 2: and so you have to keep working out the kinks,

523
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 2: and of course it just gets exacerbated when they are

524
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 2: teenagers and gets.

525
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wish they were still asking if they could

526
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 1: have a cookie?

527
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 2: No, No, But we were pretty pretty in sync with guaranteeing,

528
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:35,959
Speaker 2: and yeah, I'm grateful for that. And we do have

529
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 2: a really wonderful close relationship with all of our kids.

530
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 1: That's really good. And I know, like when the kids

531
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: get older and the dynamics change in the household a

532
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 1: little bit, maybe one maybe me, maybe you, maybe them,

533
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: I don't know, are struggling with this transitional time where

534
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 1: your kids are leaving and you're you know, kind of like, WHOA,

535
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: what's next? How do I handle these feelings? Marriages can

536
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 1: be really hard, especially during those times, and I would

537
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: just like be curious to know from you how do

538
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 1: you handle the tough times like that with your partner,

539
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 1: Like how do you get how do you get through?

540
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 1: Because you've been married for how many years? You told me,

541
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 1: but I can't remember twenty nine? Twenty nine years? That's

542
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: like an eternity. That's incredible, I know, I know what

543
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 1: an accomplishment.

544
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really am proud of it. So is Val.

545
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 2: And you know, just like most marriages, we hit some

546
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 2: serious speed bumps and had a couple couple of times

547
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 2: in our lives where we're like, mmmmm, I don't know

548
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 2: if we're gonna make it through this one. Yeah, I'm

549
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 2: not sure. So I'm very familiar with that. But I

550
00:32:56,040 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 2: will tell you that sometimes when you do see the

551
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 2: best marriages, meaning strong marriages, at a certain point in time,

552
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 2: it's because you've been through it all and you've actually

553
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 2: hit rock bottom in your marriage, and the only place

554
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:19,479
Speaker 2: to go there is, well, you can either split or

555
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 2: you can build it back up in the way that

556
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 2: it needs to be to be successful, to be fruitful,

557
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 2: to be loving. But you've got to literally break it

558
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 2: down and like like a Potter with his clay, you know,

559
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 2: you just it goes to mush again and you're going

560
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 2: to rebuild from the start. And I would say that

561
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 2: Val and I got to that point and we.

562
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 1: Wait when, like how long in I'm curious because I've

563
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 1: been at the point too.

564
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, well twenty fifteen, between fifteen and twenty years kind

565
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 2: of hit the rock bottom point. And then and then

566
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 2: COVID really helped us. The pandemic really helped us because

567
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 2: then we were stuck in a house together.

568
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 1: Well, that's great that it helped you, because a lot

569
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: of people I know didn't get through it that way.

570
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 2: I know. And we we kind of joked, we were like,

571
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 2: this is either going to make us or break us.

572
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 2: And I'm so happy to say that it that it

573
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 2: made us because we we love We have such love

574
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 2: for each other that we we didn't want what could

575
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 2: have been of splitting. We really didn't want that at

576
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:39,879
Speaker 2: the core. And so we talked through so much stuff

577
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 2: because we had nowhere to go, and I think both

578
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 2: of us came to a place of honesty. You know,

579
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,879
Speaker 2: when it gets so honest that it's not from an

580
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 2: angry place, but it is just so deeply honest and

581
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 2: you know it's going to hurt the other person that

582
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 2: you want to say it.

583
00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's when you have to.

584
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 2: That's when you have to. And that's that's where we

585
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 2: got and uh, and we both were really honest in

586
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 2: the things that we were both feeling. And then once

587
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 2: we we shared those things, it was like, oh, Okay,

588
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: I can actually work with this, I can work with

589
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 2: this that now that I know what the problem is.

590
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 2: And and we did. We just we just kept going

591
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 2: and working at it. But that that, I mean, super

592
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 2: core deep honesty was pivotal and I think a lot

593
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:42,240
Speaker 2: of us might not ever get there or Yeah, it's hard,

594
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 2: it's so hard.

595
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,919
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to not, you know, dump that bucket out,

596
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 1: like they.

597
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 2: Don't want to dump the bucket out, and they don't

598
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 2: want to hear it, like I don't want to hear

599
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 2: all my faults, you know what I mean? Yeah, all

600
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,319
Speaker 2: the things that I'm like that's annoyed you for how

601
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 2: many years? But you've never told me? And then you

602
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:00,440
Speaker 2: just feel like a.

603
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 1: Schmuck because I think for me a lot of times

604
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:08,320
Speaker 1: I will think things in my mind and not verbalize them. Yeah,

605
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 1: And so then I'll start to just carry around whatever

606
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 1: it is that's bugging me instead of just getting it

607
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 1: out and talking about it and seeing like if it

608
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,280
Speaker 1: can become like some kind of funny little thing between

609
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: me and my husband. Are like, just shift it from

610
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 1: getting out of here and out onto our table. Yeah,

611
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 1: I think that's good.

612
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,280
Speaker 2: Well, it's a lot of it's a lot of work,

613
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:36,360
Speaker 2: but but I'm so glad that we went through that

614
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 2: because now I honestly I feel like we're newlyweds and

615
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 2: it's felt like that for the last five years, you know,

616
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 2: and it's just a beautiful place to be.

617
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 1: Well, congratulations, I mean, I know it's hard work, so

618
00:36:53,760 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 1: I commend you. You and I both lost friends stars,

619
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: and the world lost them too.

620
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 2: Yeah.

621
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 1: I will just say for myself, I had moments where

622
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 1: I struggled to allow my grief to do its thing

623
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 1: because there were so many other people jumping into the

624
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 1: grief of it, like because it was a you know,

625
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 1: famous person in both of our cases that morning from

626
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: the whole world. My friend Ian once told me, it's hard.

627
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: It's really hard because you just keep getting reminded right

628
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: of the loss by fans fans everywhere.

629
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

630
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they want to they want to console you,

631
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 1: they want to make you feel better, but at the

632
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: same time, it's just like bringing it back up over

633
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 1: and over and over and over. Do you struggle with

634
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 1: getting through your grief with important people like that in

635
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 1: your life in a public setting.

636
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 2: Well, I very much relate to what Iron said and

637
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 2: what you just said, because I think that that was

638
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 2: the hardest part. And you go through your grief, you

639
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 2: handle it and with the people that you love around you,

640
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 2: and that felt like, Okay, you're going through these different stages.

641
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 2: I felt that I was dealing with it in a

642
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:16,920
Speaker 2: healthy way. That felt like, Okay, you know, this is

643
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 2: how it is. But it is that constant reminder when

644
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,880
Speaker 2: you're around other people and they're like, I'm so sorry

645
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 2: for your loss, I'm so sorry for your loss. Oh

646
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 2: we just love them, we love you know, and then

647
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 2: it doesn't stop. And I don't think I expected that part.

648
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,760
Speaker 2: I mean I hadn't. That never happened to me before

649
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 2: until Bob passed away, So I just didn't know how

650
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 2: that would feel and what that would experience would be like.

651
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 2: And you know, we still get it, and I'm sure

652
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 2: you still get it every time we are at nineties

653
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:46,800
Speaker 2: con or something.

654
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 1: It's so hard with the cast photos. It's really hard. Yeah.

655
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 2: Well, I do enjoy looking at the cast photos because

656
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 2: it his Like Bob's face just brings me a huge smile.

657
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,720
Speaker 2: It just because he was He was so funny and

658
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,919
Speaker 2: he was one of my best friends and he made

659
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:08,240
Speaker 2: me laugh so much. So when I do see his face,

660
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 2: you know, it's painful that there's loss, but he brought

661
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 2: me so much joy, so I can't help but not

662
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 2: have joy every time I see his face. But it's

663
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 2: more of the I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry

664
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,280
Speaker 2: for your loss, Like I don't want to be reminded

665
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 2: that he's not here anymore, but I'm always happy to

666
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,879
Speaker 2: see his face. That might not make sense, but that's

667
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 2: how it works in my brain.

668
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 1: No, I get it. I can definitely relate because I

669
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 1: don't know. There's something about when people you love are gone,

670
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:48,280
Speaker 1: like there forever, something in your mind like like you said,

671
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,879
Speaker 1: it's always a good feeling, like always like you made

672
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,760
Speaker 1: you laugh and you want to stay in that memory

673
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 1: of him. Yeah, but revisiting the tragedy, right, that's that

674
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 1: moment it is not Yeah, And also people just mean well.

675
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 2: They just I was just gonna say that people they

676
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,759
Speaker 2: want to connect, they want to connect with you. They

677
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 2: do mean so well, and it truly has grieved them

678
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:16,800
Speaker 2: because they were public people and they they meant something

679
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 2: to them, and so it is. Yeah, it's just a

680
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 2: little bit of a strange thing that go through on

681
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:26,280
Speaker 2: that level.

682
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:31,479
Speaker 1: Right, big picture, what was one of the biggest life

683
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 1: choices you made that positively impacted the trajectory of your

684
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:42,799
Speaker 1: life to where you are right now? Ooh, I'm sure

685
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 1: there's more than one.

686
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 2: There's more than one. We used to live in Florida.

687
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,720
Speaker 2: We lived there for ten years when my husband played

688
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 2: hockey and then he had retired, but we stayed there

689
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 2: for a few extra years because our kids were in

690
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 2: school there and they loved my kids and my husband

691
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:05,840
Speaker 2: loved Florida. And we had moved back to LA after

692
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 2: my husband retired because I started working again and I

693
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 2: had something that a show that I was on for

694
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 2: a couple of years, and that's why we moved back.

695
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 2: And then there was about a year and I didn't

696
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 2: really do anything, and they, they being my family, were like,

697
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 2: we really want to move back to Florida, Like we

698
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:31,880
Speaker 2: don't want to stay in LA. And I was like,

699
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 2: I don't want to move back to Florida. And I

700
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:39,760
Speaker 2: really am hoping to pursue more things in my career

701
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 2: at this point, and everyone really wanted to go back.

702
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 2: And there was something so deep inside of me that

703
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 2: I'd never felt before. I kept praying about it, like, God,

704
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 2: it this is if you want us to move back

705
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 2: to Florida, let me allow me to feel peace over that.

706
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 2: And I just didn't. And there was just something so

707
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 2: deep inside of me going, no, you're just you're You're

708
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 2: on the precipice of something that's gonna hit, and don't

709
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 2: go back. And so it was the first time I

710
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:16,240
Speaker 2: actually dug my heels in with my family and just said,

711
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 2: could you guys all give me one more year? Can

712
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 2: you give me one more year in La? Like that,

713
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 2: we'll all stay as a family. If nothing happens in

714
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 2: terms of I'm not back on a show or I'm

715
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 2: not back on whatever I said, then I will. I

716
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 2: will happily, unbegrudgingly move back to Florida and we'll go

717
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 2: on from there. But I'm asking, would you all give me?

718
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,760
Speaker 2: Can we do one more year here? And it felt

719
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:48,479
Speaker 2: like a really big ask as a mom. Yeah, more

720
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,800
Speaker 2: than anything, because my kids were like, we love Florida,

721
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 2: we have all our friends back there. We came here

722
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 2: for a year, can't we go back? And so it

723
00:42:56,760 --> 00:43:00,800
Speaker 2: did feel like a selfish ask, but yet I just

724
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 2: knew I had to ask it, and I did and

725
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 2: they all said, sure, yes, we will. And then that

726
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:12,760
Speaker 2: was the year. It wasn't soon after that that everything

727
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,359
Speaker 2: kind of took off. Literally within a year, I went

728
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 2: on Dancing with the Stars, Fuller House was got picked

729
00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 2: up by Netflix, and the trajectory just went on and

730
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:29,800
Speaker 2: you know here. So that was a big pivotal moment

731
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:30,359
Speaker 2: in my life.

732
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 1: That's great though, to not only make that choice, you know,

733
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 1: be strong enough to make that choice in the in

734
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,479
Speaker 1: the eyes of feeling guilty a little bit for your

735
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 1: kids and like feeling selfish, but then to end up

736
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,920
Speaker 1: realizing that that was the right choice, Like, look, how

737
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: great everyone's doing. We're all doing great. Yeah, and I'm

738
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,359
Speaker 1: my careers moving forward and I'm doing what I love

739
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 1: and yeah, it's just a good spot for you to

740
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 1: be in. I know you're making you make a lot

741
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:08,760
Speaker 1: of Christmas movies, which people love. I love Christmas movies.

742
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 1: There's comes a time where I just want to I

743
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:14,359
Speaker 1: just type into the search bar Christmas movies, and like

744
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:16,439
Speaker 1: they'll come up from everywhere, and there's so so many.

745
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 1: I know, Oh, like the Amish Christmas ones get me

746
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:25,040
Speaker 1: every time. But you you just did one, or you're

747
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:26,240
Speaker 1: doing one with your daughter.

748
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,359
Speaker 2: I did one, I've already filmed. Yeah, I have two

749
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 2: new ones this year. One is with Cameron. It's a

750
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:36,919
Speaker 2: sequel movie called Another Sweet Christmas to our movie last year.

751
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:41,680
Speaker 2: And then I have another one with my daughter Natasha,

752
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 2: and it's called Timeless Tidings of Joy. And it's cool

753
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,439
Speaker 2: because it's so it's a period piece. It's a time

754
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 2: travel movie, which I love. The time travel ones make

755
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 2: me laugh, Like I.

756
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:58,320
Speaker 1: Who wouldn't want to time travel?

757
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 2: Who doesn't want a time travel? So I go back

758
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 2: to nineteen forty five and I meet my grandmother as

759
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:11,840
Speaker 2: a twenty year old, and so my grandmother's being played

760
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:16,359
Speaker 2: by my daughter Natasha. And it's a sweet story in

761
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 2: that I get to understand who she is as a

762
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 2: young woman and why she made the life choices and

763
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 2: decisions back at that time that then affect the present day.

764
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:33,799
Speaker 2: But that was that was a really special time to

765
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:35,839
Speaker 2: get to spend with her and make a movie with her.

766
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:39,720
Speaker 2: I mean, she's been an actress for more than ten years.

767
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 2: That's what she does. And I just had been looking

768
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 2: for a project and was like, Natasha, would you please

769
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:50,800
Speaker 2: do a Christmas movie with me? It's like, the Christmas

770
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:54,839
Speaker 2: movie is not her goals for her career, but I

771
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:56,919
Speaker 2: was like, but this is what mom does and would

772
00:45:56,960 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 2: you please? And when we developed this story, it was

773
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:05,920
Speaker 2: just a cool relationship. That she gets to play my

774
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 2: grandmother just felt different than being the typical oh, just

775
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 2: play my daughter in a movie. You know.

776
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it. I mean I know people are

777
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 1: gonna love it. They love it when you know we

778
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,360
Speaker 1: work with our kids. Yes, they do, because it's like

779
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:24,360
Speaker 1: they get to see us how they remember us, but

780
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 1: in our kids.

781
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.

782
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really neat to be able to do that.

783
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

784
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 1: So I hope you guys do it more. I don't

785
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:35,239
Speaker 1: know if she'll be into more Christmas movies, but maybe

786
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 1: she has the bug now, maybe she's feeling Christmas.

787
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:42,399
Speaker 2: I don't know, we'll see. She likes the drama way

788
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 2: more than me.

789
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, well, Candace, before I let you go what

790
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:49,760
Speaker 1: was your last I Choose me moment.

791
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 2: I don't know how many people have said this. I

792
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,839
Speaker 2: feel like I could be one of many or only

793
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:02,360
Speaker 2: Cameron Mathison. I literally chose me at the gym this morning,

794
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,359
Speaker 2: and I feel like every morning I choose me. When

795
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,839
Speaker 2: I wake up and go to the gym and pump

796
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 2: iron before my day begins, that is like this. It

797
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 2: is all for me. It's all all for me, and

798
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:20,920
Speaker 2: I love it and it just makes me feel really good.

799
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 1: Well, I don't think it's all for you, honestly. I

800
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,879
Speaker 1: think that's a gift you're giving your kids and your grandchildren.

801
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 2: Well, that's a good way, husband, got it.

802
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 1: I mean that's the thing with I Choose me moments.

803
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,600
Speaker 1: They always end up they can feel like it's all

804
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 1: me centric, but they end up benefiting the other people

805
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: in our lives. We just maybe in the moment it

806
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 1: feels like it's all for me, which can feel selfish.

807
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 1: But I don't think in your case, going to the

808
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:49,880
Speaker 1: gym feel selfish. But I just have to counter act

809
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:53,160
Speaker 1: you know that. Yeah, I think it's for your whole

810
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,400
Speaker 1: family too. I feel that when I work out, like

811
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 1: I want to stay healthy for them as long as

812
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:02,040
Speaker 1: I can. Yeah, I agree with that, Okay, I love it.

813
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 1: Inspiring for me and so many Thank you for chatting

814
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 1: with me today. I really appreciate it.

815
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me on it was so nice.

816
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:13,839
Speaker 1: Nice to see you you too, Bye bye