Speaker 1: Wind down Kramer micro coffin and oh that's good. We've
Speaker 1: never really added that aspect is to it? Ah, I did,
Speaker 1: I'm a day in paradise. In paradise, I am. I'm
Speaker 1: really excited because next week we are announcing something huge,
Speaker 1: beak Time, that we've been working on forever, and I'm
Speaker 1: just so excited to announce it. What do you know? No,
Speaker 1: I can't tell you you know, I just you know,
Speaker 1: you know, but you like, you know, you know, you
Speaker 1: just don't know which one? Do they know that we
Speaker 1: know that they know. Um, y'all know the voice, it's
Speaker 1: Sarah Gretzky. Um. Well, first things first, I heard from
Speaker 1: a friend that l A just got shut down until August.
Speaker 1: Is that true? Well, the so that's like the rumor
Speaker 1: because apparently the l A Times, like I wrote an
Speaker 1: article and then the mayor came out yesterday and was
Speaker 1: like scolding the l A Times and was like I
Speaker 1: never said that, Like this is all just media hyping
Speaker 1: it up. I just said that it's not opening soon.
Speaker 1: So here we are not knowing who to believe. But
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's frustrating, very um makes me thankful
Speaker 1: that we're not there. Yeah, yeah, I just I missed
Speaker 1: the I miss just the beach though, Like I missed
Speaker 1: being outside and that where you can be outside every
Speaker 1: single day. Yeah, for sure. But I was just talking
Speaker 1: to you know, somebody's out there recently and they're just
Speaker 1: talking about how, you know, especially somewhere as populated as
Speaker 1: they are with it being so nice out, half the
Speaker 1: people are listening and staying quarantine doing that, and yeah,
Speaker 1: half the people just like if it, I'm going to
Speaker 1: the beach, I'm doing this, I'm doing that. Yeah, it's chaos.
Speaker 1: The nice weather helps, but doesn't help, you know. It
Speaker 1: rained the other day and I was like, wow, I
Speaker 1: bet this is the first time people have actually stayed
Speaker 1: inside because it just makes it easier. When it's nice out,
Speaker 1: you want to get outside. You want to get fresh
Speaker 1: air of the sun. But I don't know, we need
Speaker 1: this to end, all right, Sarah. So, um, I feel
Speaker 1: the energy. I know. Um, I like, I'm so anxious.
Speaker 1: I can't So do you do you want to? I
Speaker 1: just I want you to have the floor because something
Speaker 1: happened and you know you're yeah. I just I just
Speaker 1: love you, and um go for it, my friend. How
Speaker 1: are you feeling though? Like just like just to start
Speaker 1: it off, like are you nervous right now? To yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm nervous, I'm anxious. I'm so anxious, but I am
Speaker 1: I feel fine, like my body feels fine. Um. Well,
Speaker 1: I guess I'll just come right out and I can
Speaker 1: go into detail. But I um and miscarry during quarantine,
Speaker 1: which feels so weird to say. It feels weird to
Speaker 1: not like it. I'm admitting something, but it feels weird
Speaker 1: to like acknowledge. Um. Two weeks into quarantine, when we
Speaker 1: were in Colorado, I just I just had the It
Speaker 1: all sounds so cliche, but it was just that feeling.
Speaker 1: And it was that I felt so sick, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: my options are corona or I'm pregnant, and both of
Speaker 1: them scared me. And so I took a pregnancy test
Speaker 1: and then I took ten, and then I took like
Speaker 1: literally fifteen. We're all positive. Um. And obviously it was
Speaker 1: the best feeling ever. I couldn't even believe what I
Speaker 1: was seeing because we just got married. Like it was
Speaker 1: like that, um, And that's never how I expected it.
Speaker 1: I always I'm like a realist, so I knew, you know,
Speaker 1: it takes time, it takes it takes a lot to
Speaker 1: go right for that to happen. Um. I obviously told
Speaker 1: Ty right away, and I was just hesitant. It's really
Speaker 1: weird now looking back, I didn't tell anyone. I was
Speaker 1: so freaked out, not because I was pregnant, but because
Speaker 1: of all the things I know. UM, and it was
Speaker 1: obviously really so I just kind of I didn't want
Speaker 1: to tell anyone. I really wanted to keep it to myself. UM.
Speaker 1: But we we ended up telling just our parents, UM
Speaker 1: a week later. And then the next day I just
Speaker 1: was off. I was in pain all day. I I
Speaker 1: I went to Google, which is the worst thing to
Speaker 1: do now. Um, I just knew something was off. And
Speaker 1: then I woke up the next morning on Easter Sunday,
Speaker 1: and when you know, you know, ladies, if you know,
Speaker 1: there was a lot of evidence that that I knew
Speaker 1: I had miscarried. So that made for a tough Easter Sunday,
Speaker 1: and it just made for a tough quarantine. UM. I mean,
Speaker 1: God blessed Hi. I even wrote in my little like journal,
Speaker 1: I've never loved him more because I don't think you're
Speaker 1: prepared for that. And I know he wasn't prepared for
Speaker 1: that with me, because I don't think I cried at
Speaker 1: the wedding. I cried for two weeks. I couldn't stop,
Speaker 1: and so from that Easter Sunday, I just for I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know
Speaker 1: the hormone. I didn't know what was happening with my body.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what was happening inside my body. And
Speaker 1: I just was a mess for like two weeks. And
Speaker 1: I think that, really, you know, that's something hard for
Speaker 1: him to see. He's never had to deal with me
Speaker 1: like that. Well, you're you're not a You're not a crier.
Speaker 1: I mean the first time I heard you cry ever,
Speaker 1: was when this happened. I mean you texted me like
Speaker 1: call me, and I feel awful now, but like the
Speaker 1: first thing I said is, oh my god, are you pregnant?
Speaker 1: You know, because I knew you guys were trying. And
Speaker 1: then when you said I was, I just instantly like
Speaker 1: I've just and then when I called you, and I
Speaker 1: think what broke my heart even more is like you know,
Speaker 1: you're you're bawling in rightfully, so you're so upset, and
Speaker 1: what broke my heart is because you know, from having
Speaker 1: miscarriages and feeling that same way. It broke my heart
Speaker 1: that you felt like, what is wrong with me? And
Speaker 1: it's so hard to reassure someone in that situation because
Speaker 1: Mike could tell me there's nothing wrong with me. This
Speaker 1: person could tell me it's normal, but I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: like we take it so like something is wrong with
Speaker 1: my body. I'm not a woman. And when I heard
Speaker 1: you say that, that's just like that broke me for
Speaker 1: you because I just was like I didn't know if
Speaker 1: my words were even if you could even hear it
Speaker 1: in that moment. It's just so which I'm sure it
Speaker 1: is so common, but it's like everyone can say it's
Speaker 1: not your fault, it's not your fault, but it's like
Speaker 1: if you get in a car accident, you know, and
Speaker 1: Julie's in the backseat and Julie gets hurt, even if
Speaker 1: someone hits you, you still think it's your fault because
Speaker 1: you were driving. So like that's how I spell. I
Speaker 1: literally kept saying that over and over to time because
Speaker 1: I'm like, I got to explain it to him in
Speaker 1: some way, and that's the only way I could think
Speaker 1: about it. Is like I'm driving this and it might
Speaker 1: not be my fault, but I was in charge and
Speaker 1: and I was, you know, maybe working out too much
Speaker 1: or not enough or you can go a million different ways.
Speaker 1: When I think, is that because I think when we
Speaker 1: have spoken to and you've done the same thing that
Speaker 1: you know we've all done, like you you went down
Speaker 1: the rabbit hole. Oh oh it was and still even now,
Speaker 1: and that's why it's like I didn't tell anyone, and
Speaker 1: so yeah, I'm even more anxious for this to come out,
Speaker 1: but like, how do you which I wish it was
Speaker 1: more normal and I'm hoping to make it more normal.
Speaker 1: But even like I was like, how do I tell you?
Speaker 1: And you've been through it, but it's not something you
Speaker 1: just pick up the phone and you're like, hey, how
Speaker 1: are you? Oh my god, quarantine sucks. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm you know, conversation and that's why I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just I didn't know how to tell people or how
Speaker 1: to even bring it up, and so it just has
Speaker 1: made for a hell of a quarantine. I'm so sorry,
Speaker 1: I you know, I it's just it breaks my heart
Speaker 1: and I I just I it's just it's such a
Speaker 1: such a sad situation, because I never want you to
Speaker 1: feel like, yes, I understand you're driving the car, but
Speaker 1: also there are I truly believe it's God's He's you know,
Speaker 1: he's how do I say it? Where he's still that wasn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's something maybe wrong and he was saving and it
Speaker 1: just wasn't. That wasn't supposed to be. And but that
Speaker 1: doesn't make it any easier. That's a thing like I
Speaker 1: still I'm like, Okay, when people told me that, I'm like, fine,
Speaker 1: but why wasn't it? Is it? You know, I don't understand, like,
Speaker 1: and that's that's a hard realization. And that's how that
Speaker 1: was the hardest part for me, is just I think
Speaker 1: going to tie because again, and I'm sure Mike, Mike
Speaker 1: didn't really know, Like even when I told him, he
Speaker 1: was like, so what does that mean? You know? He's like,
Speaker 1: so what does that mean for you? Like, it's just
Speaker 1: a weird it's so known, but it's so unknown, and
Speaker 1: I didn't even know how to tell him, and I
Speaker 1: didn't even know how to break it to him. And
Speaker 1: I just I I think we all know that I
Speaker 1: carry the not the strength, but I keep it calm,
Speaker 1: I keep us cool. I keep it collected, and I
Speaker 1: was just a ship show. And I think that really
Speaker 1: scared him to see me so broken, but then me
Speaker 1: trying to be strong for him, and him trying to
Speaker 1: be strong for me, because I had to remind myself
Speaker 1: he lost too. It wasn't just me, you know, he
Speaker 1: was crying to he was upset because this is him too.
Speaker 1: It just feels more personal because it was in my body.
Speaker 1: I think what you said too is another good point
Speaker 1: with Okay, you here miscarriage. That's not tape. People know
Speaker 1: what that is. But then you, like you said, there's
Speaker 1: it's not just there's a miscarriage and that's it. It's
Speaker 1: you know, there's a process afterwards, depending on how far
Speaker 1: along you are, what you let it pass naturally? You're
Speaker 1: what's the procedure? We had a d n C d
Speaker 1: n C you're you know, which is almost like reliving
Speaker 1: and having to grieve all over again after you find
Speaker 1: out that you have a miscarriage. Then it's like once
Speaker 1: you physically pass it or get things medically taken care of,
Speaker 1: it's almost like the grief you starts all over again,
Speaker 1: because then it's then it's reality, you know, um, And
Speaker 1: like until that year passes. It's like, oh, this would
Speaker 1: have been my due day. This would So it's like
Speaker 1: you're constantly being reminded of that, and it's just and
Speaker 1: even I think you're so much more sensitive to it.
Speaker 1: Obvious obviously, but you know, I'm on Mother's Day, I'm thinking, oh,
Speaker 1: I would have been this much. My best friend he
Speaker 1: and his wife are do in August, and he'll send
Speaker 1: me pictures. He has no idea what's going on, but
Speaker 1: he sends me pictures because he's so excited, and it
Speaker 1: just takes Oh my god, I would have been two
Speaker 1: months behind. You know, there's just so many weird I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's so weird, and I just feel for
Speaker 1: anyone obviously who's gone through this. But the Q has
Speaker 1: made it ten times more lonely than I think it
Speaker 1: it normally is, which is also why I'm glad we're
Speaker 1: doing this, because I mean, what we've been in quarantine
Speaker 1: now how many weeks? There's got to be tons of
Speaker 1: people well, and like, you know, we saw Emma, our
Speaker 1: makeup artist, you know, she miscarried, had a d NC
Speaker 1: and and I texted her and I know that you
Speaker 1: confided in her too. Um, and I said, you sharing
Speaker 1: your story, Emma is going to help Sarah share her story,
Speaker 1: you know, and you're going to help the next person
Speaker 1: share their story because it is so lonely when you
Speaker 1: don't say anything. And the second that I feel like
Speaker 1: this does come out, the mama's out there that have
Speaker 1: experienced this are going to come and it's gonna be
Speaker 1: your new tribe of women. Because I remember when I
Speaker 1: shared it was like I felt so alone, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: I didn't want sympathy. I just didn't want to feel alone.
Speaker 1: And the second that happens and I prayed, I prayed
Speaker 1: so much that everyone's gonna come reach out to you
Speaker 1: and and you can have that tribe of women that
Speaker 1: you don't feel alone because it is so isolating, even
Speaker 1: though you have an amazing husband and Mike was amazing,
Speaker 1: but it's still just that it's you know, no one
Speaker 1: can understand unless they've been through it, I believe, you know,
Speaker 1: especially when it's a personal with your body well and
Speaker 1: even selfishly for myself, it's like, yes, I want to
Speaker 1: help people. But the first thing I did after you know,
Speaker 1: it was official, and I talked to my doctor and everything,
Speaker 1: I'm like Okay, I gotta read more story. I gotta
Speaker 1: find out who else this is? You know, who else
Speaker 1: has been through this? Who do I know who's been
Speaker 1: affected by this? Who can I learn from? And I
Speaker 1: my sister sent me these two like mommy bloggers in Dallas,
Speaker 1: and sure enough both of them had almost identical stories
Speaker 1: to me up to the weeks and it was just
Speaker 1: crazy to be able to read like, Okay, this is
Speaker 1: you know, quote unquote normal. Well, you know, I wanted
Speaker 1: because I know you have questions asked. I know you
Speaker 1: have questions that you want UM answered. And we have
Speaker 1: a doctor, um Dr Nita. She's a co host of
Speaker 1: the Emmy Award winning talk show The Doctors. She's a
Speaker 1: certified UM O B G y N. And you know,
Speaker 1: I know you just took that blood work. UM, so
Speaker 1: maybe we can just ask her some questions too, and
Speaker 1: anything else that you want to know. Yeah, so let's
Speaker 1: take a quick break and then get Dr need on. Alright,
Speaker 1: So welcome to the wind Down Podcast. Dr Nita. Hey friend, um,
Speaker 1: so Sarah Um you know and many other women out there.
Speaker 1: I'll say it again, so um Sarah Um, who's been
Speaker 1: our guest co host a lot on wine down. She
Speaker 1: recently just suffered a miscarriage, and I know a lot
Speaker 1: of women out there could really use some help, some advice. Um,
Speaker 1: Sarah has there any what what's the one thing that
Speaker 1: it has been really just heavy on your heart that
Speaker 1: maybe you want to know? Um, I feel like for me,
Speaker 1: it's um the aftermath. So I read a lot of
Speaker 1: stories and they're like, oh, I got pregnant, you know
Speaker 1: the next cycle, or oh two weeks later, I ovulated,
Speaker 1: and I know it's positivity they're trying to spread, but um,
Speaker 1: I'm over four weeks out. I haven't ovulated, I haven't
Speaker 1: had a period. So it's just kind of not what's normal,
Speaker 1: but what is what is okay? You know what is
Speaker 1: most common? Yes, I'm sure women do get pregnant two
Speaker 1: weeks after and that's made thing, But you know, for me,
Speaker 1: I don't think my body's on track yet, So kind
Speaker 1: of what's what are those next steps? Well, a lot
Speaker 1: of times it's going to depend upon number one, the
Speaker 1: woman's overall health. It's going to depend on her age
Speaker 1: and kind of the circumstances surrounding the cause for the miscarriage.
Speaker 1: But generally speaking, when will have a regular minstrual period
Speaker 1: within six weeks after having a miscarriage. And when we
Speaker 1: look at women overall, once again, the numbers will vary
Speaker 1: a little depending upon a lot of factors about that
Speaker 1: particular woman. But after one miscarriage, the risk of a
Speaker 1: miscarriage is about four After two miscarriages it goes up
Speaker 1: to six percent, and then you know, with three it's
Speaker 1: like percent um, so that's going to to vary. But
Speaker 1: they are right in that a lot of times after
Speaker 1: a woman has a miscarriage, she goes on to have
Speaker 1: a perfectly normal pregnancy next time, particularly if we're talking
Speaker 1: about someone who has just had one miscarriage. And you know,
Speaker 1: it's also important to remember that it's nothing you did.
Speaker 1: You know, a lot of times women will say, oh,
Speaker 1: I wonder if it's because I had intercourse, are oh
Speaker 1: I bought my belly, I picked up a really heavy
Speaker 1: box or something like that, And so it's important for
Speaker 1: you not to to think about those things and know
Speaker 1: that in most instances, miscarriages occurred because of problems with
Speaker 1: the chromosome, and the problems with the chromosome didn't come
Speaker 1: from mom or dad dad, meaning that those problems weren't inherited,
Speaker 1: but instead a lot of times it's just something that
Speaker 1: happens by chance when the baby is developing. Dr Nita,
Speaker 1: I have a question, and this isn't just from a
Speaker 1: god's perspective, but how soon or in the process um,
Speaker 1: when you know a couple is trying to get pregnant
Speaker 1: or woman is trying to get pregnant, should they consult
Speaker 1: their oh B because I know for Jan and I
Speaker 1: we tried a few times and it wasn't until we
Speaker 1: went and saw her obi that she we realized that
Speaker 1: she needed to get a histeroscopy just to remove some
Speaker 1: scoring you know, wasn't your your dress lining or whatever
Speaker 1: it was block and we did the HS right. So
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, at that time we look back like,
Speaker 1: oh my goodness, we wasted three months or whatever it was.
Speaker 1: Is that something where do you think couples should from
Speaker 1: the get goats, like once they decide, hey, we want
Speaker 1: to start having babies, they should do that on the
Speaker 1: forefront or just kind of let things happen how they happen. Ideally,
Speaker 1: we like to see women for preconception counseling, meaning it's
Speaker 1: a great idea to go in to see your doctor
Speaker 1: to make sure you're as healthy as possible before getting pregnant.
Speaker 1: And it's not it's not all about the pregnancy. It's
Speaker 1: also the fact that we just want you to be
Speaker 1: healthy as a woman, meaning if you come in and
Speaker 1: we diagnose you with diabetes or um thyroid disease, then
Speaker 1: we can get those issues under control so that you
Speaker 1: can be as healthy as possible going into the pregnancy.
Speaker 1: So that's what we call preconception counseling. But as far
Speaker 1: as individuals trying, you know, we say for most people,
Speaker 1: if they're younger than thirty five, you can try for
Speaker 1: a year, and the vast majority of people who have
Speaker 1: regular intercourse and they're not using any type of contraception
Speaker 1: will get pregnant within that year. UM. For older individuals
Speaker 1: are people with specific medical issues, we may say six months. UM,
Speaker 1: so we may we shortened that time period. But to
Speaker 1: answer your question, if it depends on how long you
Speaker 1: are trying, If you know both of you are healthy
Speaker 1: individuals and you just have been trying for three months,
Speaker 1: do I think that you made mistake by not going
Speaker 1: in initially just to say, you know, we want to
Speaker 1: get pregnant. Do I need to look at at her
Speaker 1: tubes or anything like that. No, I don't think that
Speaker 1: was warranted. But once again, with the preconcession, is it
Speaker 1: the doctor will just kind of go over the females
Speaker 1: overall help and I didn't any potential issues that could
Speaker 1: cause a problem in the pregnancy and remind her to
Speaker 1: take her prenatal elements with both guests for sure. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm curious too because um a family member
Speaker 1: of ours she just had her third miscarriage and on
Speaker 1: her first one, I said, hey, you know, you should
Speaker 1: really go to your doctor and you know, see why,
Speaker 1: and she's like, well, I called and they just said, oh,
Speaker 1: it's common, like you know, just just try again. But
Speaker 1: now she's on our third and in my mind, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, I get that it's common. I get that,
Speaker 1: you know, chromosome only there could be something wrong, But
Speaker 1: now that she's suffered her third miscarriage, it's kind of
Speaker 1: like she's in so much pain again for the third time.
Speaker 1: I feel like that could have been avoided if the
Speaker 1: gynecologist was like not just blew off, like, oh, miscarriage
Speaker 1: is common, and not done the proper blood work and
Speaker 1: everything else that she's you know, taking them finding out
Speaker 1: the gene that mt hr or whatever it was, we
Speaker 1: had them. So I'm like, is that is that pretty
Speaker 1: common for a guy? No, to say like one, like
Speaker 1: come back if you have another one, or well, I
Speaker 1: think a couple of things there. It is common for
Speaker 1: gynecologists are obstitutions to say come back if you just
Speaker 1: had one. But even though it's a common experience, that
Speaker 1: doesn't make it easier. So as a physician, I would
Speaker 1: never want to say, oh, it's fine, it's common, don't
Speaker 1: worry about it. Like once you have a positive pregnancy test,
Speaker 1: you're a mother, you know, and you love your baby,
Speaker 1: And so I think it's important to make sure that
Speaker 1: we do whatever we can to support a couple of
Speaker 1: you know, the woman physically, and then make sure the
Speaker 1: couple has the emotional support needed. But the second part
Speaker 1: of that is just the workup in general, because a
Speaker 1: lot of females will go on to have perfectly normal
Speaker 1: pregnancies after having one miscarriage simply because a lot of
Speaker 1: those happened due to what we previously discussed, meaning it's
Speaker 1: just the chromosomal abnormalities that happen to have happen in
Speaker 1: that particular pregnancy, we won't subject them to a huge
Speaker 1: work up, meaning we won't run all the blood tests
Speaker 1: and do a ton of imaging and all of those
Speaker 1: other things after one. Now, when we talk about a
Speaker 1: female who's had two consecutive miscarriages, are some people will
Speaker 1: say three it's a little debatable. But after two consecutive
Speaker 1: miscarriages are three, then we start to do a bigger
Speaker 1: work up to see if there is an underlying issue
Speaker 1: that is increasing that woman's probability of having miscarriages. Meaning
Speaker 1: we can no longer say, oh, it's probably probably just uh,
Speaker 1: chromosomal abnormality that happened by chance. Instead we're saying, okay,
Speaker 1: if it is a chromosomal abnormality, is it a chromosomal
Speaker 1: abnormality that's being inherited by from the parents, Meaning do
Speaker 1: we need to test the parents or is it some
Speaker 1: type of um thrombophilia or something else going on some
Speaker 1: deeper underlying issues. So that's why her doctor waited. But
Speaker 1: at the same time, once again, I do understand that
Speaker 1: even though it's common, it doesn't make it easier, and
Speaker 1: I definitely don't want patients to feel as so health
Speaker 1: care providers are brushing it off. It's still very important
Speaker 1: in a couple's life for sure, if you had just
Speaker 1: to be current with the times right now, so you
Speaker 1: had a couple that consulted with you right now. So
Speaker 1: Dr Neta, we're thinking about trying to have a baby
Speaker 1: amidst the quarantine, amidst the pandemic and all of that stuff.
Speaker 1: From your professional perspective, would you steer a couple or
Speaker 1: give your opinion on a couple trying to conceive it now,
Speaker 1: just because we don't know what's gonna happen with the pandemic.
Speaker 1: We don't know if there's gonna be another spike in
Speaker 1: the fall. Like everyone's saying, who knows, But my fear
Speaker 1: goes to, you know, are people going to plan around that? Like,
Speaker 1: would you advise, from your professional opinion, advise someone to
Speaker 1: be like, maybe wait six months to see where we're
Speaker 1: at with this so they don't have to go through
Speaker 1: the process of having a child like basically by themselves
Speaker 1: because the husband can't come in or whatever the situation
Speaker 1: may be. Is that something that's kind of come up
Speaker 1: in your you know, in your world, Well, you know,
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people who are just finding
Speaker 1: out that they're pregnant in the midst of the pandemic,
Speaker 1: and I know it's difficult, and honestly, we don't know
Speaker 1: what we don't know about this virus. But as UM
Speaker 1: a profession, obstetricians aren't telling people not to get pregnant
Speaker 1: um at this time because of COVID nineteen. So we
Speaker 1: are keeping a close eye on the situation where being mindful,
Speaker 1: we're trying to learn as much as we can as
Speaker 1: quickly as we can. But you know, it's it's one
Speaker 1: of those things where you have to just kind of
Speaker 1: talk to your significant other and decide what you feel
Speaker 1: most comfortable with. If you find a great deal of
Speaker 1: you know, and easiness and the fact that we don't
Speaker 1: know what's going to happen in the fall, then you know,
Speaker 1: you may want to wait. But just as an oh
Speaker 1: b M, I going into the office and telling my patients,
Speaker 1: don't get pregnant right now, No, that's not the case.
Speaker 1: And I had a question, UM. So after we went
Speaker 1: in um to the doctor, to our doctor, and you know,
Speaker 1: we did, he kind of looked around and told me
Speaker 1: that yes, it wasn't miscarriage, he suggested, which he suggested
Speaker 1: a year ago I just never got around to it. Um,
Speaker 1: he's like, we need to do the genetic testing, you know,
Speaker 1: the carrier testing, and so um, they you know, took
Speaker 1: my blood and tested for I think it was over
Speaker 1: two hundred and eighty different Um. I'm not sure what
Speaker 1: the technical term is, but theyse for a bunch of things,
Speaker 1: and then, um, I came back that I was actually
Speaker 1: positive for two things and that I had just found
Speaker 1: out I miscarried two weeks earlier. And then he calls
Speaker 1: me and that just sent me into a tailspin. And
Speaker 1: I don't even really know what that meant. Um my
Speaker 1: husband had to go and he actually ended up testing
Speaker 1: negative for everything. So we're all good, But what exactly
Speaker 1: I mean? That sent me down another you know, spiral,
Speaker 1: because then I'm like, not only did I miscarry and
Speaker 1: now I'm positive for you know, in seven six five.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know these terms. But and then when
Speaker 1: he came back negative, I felt even more guilty and
Speaker 1: even more that it was my fault. So what exactly
Speaker 1: are those tests? Okay, Well, first of all, please don't
Speaker 1: feel guilty. Please don't feel like it's your fault, like
Speaker 1: if you think about it, like you you said it.
Speaker 1: You said that he tested you for hundreds of things.
Speaker 1: You know, think about it. The general population just doesn't
Speaker 1: get tested for hundreds of things just because we all
Speaker 1: have something. None of us were born perfect when it
Speaker 1: comes to genets, Okay, we all have something. It's just
Speaker 1: that we typically don't look for those things. And even
Speaker 1: females who go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies would
Speaker 1: still test positive for some of those things, maybe even
Speaker 1: more than two things. So you probably you did really
Speaker 1: well if you only test you know, you know, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Um, so I don't not having
Speaker 1: the information in front of me, I don't even know
Speaker 1: exactly what you were tested for. But it goes back
Speaker 1: to once someone has a miscarriage, then we kind of
Speaker 1: go down the list and we we look at things
Speaker 1: that could potentially increase a person's um probability of miscarriage.
Speaker 1: But you're not creating a baby on your own, right,
Speaker 1: So in order for you know, a baby to inherit,
Speaker 1: certain issues are for certain issues to become a problem.
Speaker 1: That's why we test mom and dad. And you know,
Speaker 1: if they test your significant other, even though I'm sure
Speaker 1: you're significant other, it's wonderful they would probably also have
Speaker 1: some things going on genetically, but guess what, you're a
Speaker 1: great match for them because when it comes to your genes,
Speaker 1: you're fine when it comes to the things that they
Speaker 1: tested positive for, right, So it still puts you in
Speaker 1: a good situation. Okay. So I don't know exactly what
Speaker 1: you test it positive for, because like you said, there
Speaker 1: are a lot of different things that we can test for.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, I think it's
Speaker 1: actually it's good news for you. It's good news for
Speaker 1: you because what you test it positive for, your husband
Speaker 1: or your significant other tested negative for. And you know
Speaker 1: so I wouldn't I wouldn't dwell on that. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: feel guilty. Um if it none of us are perfect genetically,
Speaker 1: like you know what I mean, So we should all
Speaker 1: be sad if that's the Thank you, Dr g Nita,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming on. I know this
Speaker 1: is such a I hate saying. UM, I feel like
Speaker 1: it's way more than one and what do they say,
Speaker 1: it's one and three? I I feel like that statistics
Speaker 1: out the door. Like I've almost every single one of
Speaker 1: my friends I know has miscarried. It's so much more common.
Speaker 1: It is hard and tend like tend to of known
Speaker 1: pregnancies and in miscarriage, and we know that that number
Speaker 1: is actually higher because a lot of individuals will miscarry
Speaker 1: before they even know they're pregnant. So it's common. But
Speaker 1: once again, just because it's common, that doesn't mean it's easy.
Speaker 1: So it's important for females and couples going through this
Speaker 1: to surround themselves with the proper individuals to to heal
Speaker 1: emotionally and just make sure they're getting all of the
Speaker 1: support they need. Thank you Dr Nita so much for
Speaker 1: coming on. Yeah, thank you so much. Where can our
Speaker 1: listeners follow you and kind of lean into all your
Speaker 1: advice that you have to share. My handle is at
Speaker 1: dr d R need to landry n I t A
Speaker 1: l A N d R Y and that's pretty much
Speaker 1: across all platforms. Awesome, Thank you, Dr Nita. Thank you.
Speaker 1: My friend still doesn't make it easy though, you know,
Speaker 1: it's still just and like she said, like so many
Speaker 1: people don't even know what she says. So many people
Speaker 1: miscarry before they even know they're pregnant. And I feel
Speaker 1: like a lot of people are like because when I
Speaker 1: was trying to normalize it and reach out, you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't know anyone besides you who had miscarried. My sister's,
Speaker 1: my mom. I didn't know anyone, and I'm the first
Speaker 1: of my friends, um, and so it's just weird when
Speaker 1: people say to me. I found it weird when people
Speaker 1: would respond and say, oh, you know, I might have miscarried.
Speaker 1: I just didn't know, you know, I could have miscarried.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, that doesn't help me, because if
Speaker 1: you miscarried and you don't know it, then you didn't suffer,
Speaker 1: or you didn't feel it, or you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I think they were trying to make me feel better.
Speaker 1: But it's such a weird. It's such a weird thing.
Speaker 1: You know, I was gonna say this before Dr Needa
Speaker 1: came on, but you you're saying that brought up a
Speaker 1: point or kind of my perception on it. And you know,
Speaker 1: I feel like, if you look at social media, right,
Speaker 1: so many people want to complain about something, and often times,
Speaker 1: you know, if you scroll and you see something, you
Speaker 1: might first tend to roll your eyes like, oh this
Speaker 1: person maybe they just want attention or they just want
Speaker 1: sympathy or whatever. I feel like when it comes to
Speaker 1: this subject, with miscarriage. At least for me personally, that
Speaker 1: thought has never entered my mind because I truly believe
Speaker 1: having been been a partner, that's how a wife go
Speaker 1: through it, and you know, being a couple ship that's
Speaker 1: gone through it, and then having friends like you that
Speaker 1: have gone through it it. Truly, I truly believe it's
Speaker 1: y'all don't want sympathy. You're truly trying to understand something
Speaker 1: that is so difficult to understand because there's so many
Speaker 1: different variables that involved. That's why they say childbirth is
Speaker 1: a miracle, right because for all the stars to align
Speaker 1: it for it to happen is common. There's a child
Speaker 1: born every day, multiple children born every day in this
Speaker 1: country but in the world. But it's still a miracle.
Speaker 1: And you realize that how hard it is once you
Speaker 1: want to start having children. How majority of people are
Speaker 1: a lot of people whatever percentage no realize unfortunately how
Speaker 1: difficult it is. But I just from my perception, I
Speaker 1: just never think it is about y'all wanting sympathy. You're
Speaker 1: truly trying to grasp the concept of of why of
Speaker 1: why why me? What? What? What's wrong with me? And
Speaker 1: I just have so much empathy for women around around
Speaker 1: this topic, because that just has to be yes, the men,
Speaker 1: you know, we're a part of the couple too, but
Speaker 1: like you said, Sarah, it's it's still not our body.
Speaker 1: We don't feel it physically. It lingers with y'all, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's just I just again a lot of empathy
Speaker 1: for you all, and I just you know, I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry with you being such a close friend that you've
Speaker 1: had to experience these things, you know, because you don't
Speaker 1: want that for people that you love. So yeah, thanks, guys,
Speaker 1: What do you what do you hope for moving forward? Like,
Speaker 1: what's your hope for other women that are in your situation?
Speaker 1: What's your hope for after this airs? I hope that
Speaker 1: I can do what those two Dallas mommy bloggers did
Speaker 1: for me. I was hours after finding out. I had
Speaker 1: not a freaking clue what was going on. And this
Speaker 1: one girl did a full blown story on her Instagram
Speaker 1: just explaining everything. Um, you know, she's explained that she
Speaker 1: was six weeks when she found out, and the she
Speaker 1: explained a week later she miscarried, and she really in
Speaker 1: detail went through it, and I just said, oh my god, wow,
Speaker 1: me too, And so it just I hope to normalize it.
Speaker 1: I just hope to I hope that people can say, Okay,
Speaker 1: you know I corn are I miscarried in quarantine too,
Speaker 1: and you know I was not okay and neither was she.
Speaker 1: But you know, I started journaling and I'm going to
Speaker 1: have a baby, and so I just know that, you know,
Speaker 1: with journaling and you know, tie and just trying. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to be in a positive mind space and just
Speaker 1: think positive. So I just hope that people can as
Speaker 1: hard as it is and as alone, as lonely as
Speaker 1: quarantine as in general, throw this in the mix. I
Speaker 1: just hope that people don't feel alone when they listen. Well,
Speaker 1: I love you. I think you're incredibly brave, incredibly strong,
Speaker 1: and I just adore you. And you know, no, thank you,
Speaker 1: it's it. You welcome to the mommy tribe because you are.
Speaker 1: You are a mom babe. You know when you texted
Speaker 1: me that on Mother's Day, you're the which again, it's
Speaker 1: not like a game, there's no keeping score, but like
Speaker 1: you texted me on Mother's Day, having Mother's Day and
Speaker 1: like nobody not that other people needed to, but do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like there's something when you
Speaker 1: don't go through it, I don't understand. If you'll understood,
Speaker 1: I can't imagine how understood you felt in that moment.
Speaker 1: I felt so seen. I just was like, wow, no,
Speaker 1: I know. And I even told Tie, and you know,
Speaker 1: he didn't want to acknowledge it. It was that awkward thing.
Speaker 1: Nobody wanted to acknowledge it right on Mother's Day because
Speaker 1: it's just a weird thing. Um, but when you did,
Speaker 1: I just I didn't cry because I think I'm back
Speaker 1: to my old self. I loved vulnerable Sarah. I would
Speaker 1: I think I I think in that moment, I I
Speaker 1: wanted to cry, but then I also wanted to smile
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I know, like I'm going to be
Speaker 1: a Montain and and even t I was like, we're
Speaker 1: going to celebrate you next year, you know, like it's
Speaker 1: but that was very, very thoughtful because yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: weird misunderstanding that you feel, but you get me. I'm
Speaker 1: like crying for it right now. Well she is anyone
Speaker 1: that you. You are a mother, You're a part of
Speaker 1: the mom crew now. Yeah. Dr Nita said the same thing,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, that's like a thing. Yeah
Speaker 1: it is and there's a lot of moms out there
Speaker 1: that you know, maybe haven't seen their rainbow babies yet.
Speaker 1: And don't give up. My god, my friend Candice took
Speaker 1: her twelve years. She's finally holding she had, you know,
Speaker 1: but she's been a mom for twelve years. You know,
Speaker 1: she just finally gets to hold her baby now. But
Speaker 1: let's take a break. Yeah, I'm gonna go blow my
Speaker 1: nose or something. Okay, So to keep this girl talk,
Speaker 1: struggle talk, mommy talk a lot. I know, my my sweet,
Speaker 1: amazing husband is over here. I got tissues right by
Speaker 1: the bedside. Baby. Um, I love you. That's sweet that
Speaker 1: you have empathy. But I wow, guys, Okay, but UM,
Speaker 1: so excited because to add this funness, we have Teddy
Speaker 1: Melancamp on the show. And I think Sarah, this is
Speaker 1: like kind of a little surprised Sarah because she is
Speaker 1: um Sarah, our guest co host whom was so brave
Speaker 1: and just shared about her miscarriage on the show that
Speaker 1: she just recently went through over Easter. She's a huge
Speaker 1: Real Housewives fan, so this is kind of like a surprise.
Speaker 1: But also let's talk about the struggle. You know. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, I wanted to say, like I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry and I feel you and I know there's no
Speaker 1: words that anybody can say that makes you feel better,
Speaker 1: but it's also nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
Speaker 1: And I literally was just telling them like I cry.
Speaker 1: I'm not a crier, but I was like crying in
Speaker 1: bed for like two weeks, and I think all I
Speaker 1: did was watch Bravo, so like a part of me
Speaker 1: was like I need to like reach out to Andy
Speaker 1: and be like you are saving lives everywhere because it's
Speaker 1: so true. Though like people who don't watch it don't
Speaker 1: get it, but like I'm just I'm just Bravo fanatic.
Speaker 1: I watch it all and so like, thank you for
Speaker 1: helping me get through this. You know, it's a nice
Speaker 1: escape to realize, thank goodness, that is not my life.
Speaker 1: It really, Um yeah, I really enjoy watching Sarah. I
Speaker 1: gotta say, and you have You're gonna be so incredibly
Speaker 1: proud of me. But I just watched the last four
Speaker 1: I know, I know of Beverly Hill's Housewolves, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: are you so proud? And like Teddy is my girl?
Speaker 1: Like I feel like Teddy, you're so misunderstood, Like your misunderstood,
Speaker 1: Like oh this season, Well, yeah, I watched the one
Speaker 1: where she was crying at the table okay down. I
Speaker 1: don't know if it's because of what I went through,
Speaker 1: but when stunt and looked at you and said and
Speaker 1: then I found out you were pregnant, I was no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I don't know how to slap a bit. Well, I
Speaker 1: that moment where I was completely losing it and then
Speaker 1: you know when you're really about to lose it, and
Speaker 1: then somebody says, guys, she's about to cry. Then I
Speaker 1: was so angry that because that's me, like when someone's like,
Speaker 1: you're about to cry, aren't you, And I'm like no,
Speaker 1: but I like it makes me cry even more. And
Speaker 1: I wanted to be there so bad at that table
Speaker 1: and be like shut like you are so mean, like
Speaker 1: like and just take your hand and just come, you know,
Speaker 1: just get out of there. I was so angry. I
Speaker 1: went from like you know, and had all of the emotions.
Speaker 1: Then when I watched it back and I looked at
Speaker 1: what my husband was doing during it, nothing just eating
Speaker 1: your salad and I don't breakdown, like get that last
Speaker 1: by to fiddle. That was so funny. That's because that
Speaker 1: was almost like yeah, he goes, I just kept hoping
Speaker 1: that if I kept eating it would all stop. That's
Speaker 1: exactly what I would do. So remember that, Stephanie. Remember
Speaker 1: when Stephanie Pratt and I had that thing happened in
Speaker 1: in California. We're like arguing, I've never gotten to a
Speaker 1: fight with anyone in my life besides it was that,
Speaker 1: and I was like it kind of felt good, like
Speaker 1: for like that was like sticking up for myself, and
Speaker 1: she was I was like no. And then she goes
Speaker 1: down to Mike and he's eating something and just like
Speaker 1: what's going on? And I'm just like, you know, And
Speaker 1: then you're like he's trying to like vent me. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: she's my wife. I'm going to back her up. But
Speaker 1: also I think, to y'all's credit, you guys are strong, independent,
Speaker 1: powerful women. Were like, hey, y'all got it. There's nothing
Speaker 1: that we can say as your husband that is more
Speaker 1: effective than probably what y'all are doing. But when she
Speaker 1: said you're gonna cry, it's like I felt that in
Speaker 1: my gut because that is what like. That's when someone's like,
Speaker 1: are you okay? Are you crying? And I'm like, or
Speaker 1: if somebody told you to relax. Oh you're dead, it's
Speaker 1: a full situation. No, he was quiet during the whole thing,
Speaker 1: but then of course on the car ride home he's like,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe you overreacted, and I was like that
Speaker 1: what you want to hear? How do you deal with
Speaker 1: the criticism? I know we were texting the other day because, um,
Speaker 1: you know, trolls can be kind of mean, and sometimes
Speaker 1: when you're on an you know, a huge show like that,
Speaker 1: people can say, oh, you know, you're this and you're that,
Speaker 1: and it's like, I can only imagine if Mike and
Speaker 1: I ever do that show. It's you know, I see
Speaker 1: the the comments that they do on the podcast and
Speaker 1: not too hard. It's like they don't see the inside
Speaker 1: of every single day and you know, we're just trying
Speaker 1: to have a personality and be on and it can
Speaker 1: be taken so out of context. And how do you
Speaker 1: deal with that when it's you know, your your life
Speaker 1: is on the TV and then you're having to read
Speaker 1: these these comments about that you nag your husband too much.
Speaker 1: It's like, what what wife doesn't nag their husband? You know? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean I think the first thing that I always
Speaker 1: try to remember is like I signed up to be
Speaker 1: myself and that's the good, the bad, and the ugly,
Speaker 1: and they are They're never gonna edit you to be
Speaker 1: somebody that you're not, but they're gonna focus on something
Speaker 1: that you are. So like I'm Type A and you're
Speaker 1: not gonna ever miss that. Like they are going to
Speaker 1: focus in on that every single time. So may peo
Speaker 1: don't see that. Like I can kind of make fun
Speaker 1: of myself or not take myself too seriously or I
Speaker 1: like laughing or those types of things. So what I
Speaker 1: try to do in regards to like the social media
Speaker 1: trolls is like I play into it. So they were brutal,
Speaker 1: you know, like crying baby, what's wrong with you? So
Speaker 1: then I like make my entire Instagram all about songs
Speaker 1: about cry babies the end. That's amazing, and just like
Speaker 1: prod at that because like here, you know, it is
Speaker 1: what it is. And like, especially when it comes to
Speaker 1: like breaking down and being emotional, I would rather be
Speaker 1: that than somebody that's not myself and putting on a
Speaker 1: show to be on a show. Um, Sarah, before we
Speaker 1: get into the infertility and miscarriages, do you do you
Speaker 1: have a question about the Beverly Hills housewise, because I
Speaker 1: just I mean how much. No, Okay, I'll ask one question, Okay, um,
Speaker 1: do you does it all? I guess because you already filmed.
Speaker 1: Was it so different filming without Lisa vander Pulp, Like,
Speaker 1: was it like felt? I think the biggest thing that
Speaker 1: was felt, and I do not know if it's because
Speaker 1: she's gone or not, is that I got to know
Speaker 1: all of the other women better, Like everybody seemed like
Speaker 1: their guard was down. And that also could be because
Speaker 1: it's my third season, or it's because they were protecting
Speaker 1: themselves are whatever it may be. But I mean, regardless
Speaker 1: of Lisa Vanna Pup being there or not, I mean,
Speaker 1: we're still fighting. So honestly, it's been my Yeah, now
Speaker 1: that she's gone, you know, like yeah, not, but I
Speaker 1: think I do have stronger relationships with some of them,
Speaker 1: even if you know you don't see it so much.
Speaker 1: I have to tell Janna, Janna, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you saw it. There's this scene where they don't show
Speaker 1: the whole scene, but it's a flashback of Teddy telling
Speaker 1: Kyle Kyle's her like that's friend. Um if you don't know, um,
Speaker 1: Teddy's telling Kyle that she's pregnant, and Kyle freaks out
Speaker 1: and like so happy and starts bawling cross Literally when
Speaker 1: I watched them, like that's like gonna be me and Janna,
Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna like sit her down and she's gonna
Speaker 1: lose it. But like how happy and excited Kyle was
Speaker 1: for Teddy, I was like, oh my god, that's Jannah
Speaker 1: because like Kyle is like in a different phase. You know,
Speaker 1: Kyle's got like older kids. If she was past it,
Speaker 1: And I was like that excitement that I saw was
Speaker 1: like thousand percent. But I know, Teddy, you struggled to
Speaker 1: can Steve um and did you was your miscarriage before
Speaker 1: IVF or was it after IBF? So I had so
Speaker 1: I couldn't get pregnant at all naturally prior to Slate
Speaker 1: and then um, with Slate, I got pregnant doing i
Speaker 1: U I the first shot. But I had been doing
Speaker 1: treatments for probably a year, you know, like clod which
Speaker 1: I call it. Have you been all of it? I
Speaker 1: call it? And then I had the progesteron shots in
Speaker 1: the ass where I couldn't even sit down on my butt. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the steroids like all of those types of things. Um,
Speaker 1: I did, and then the first time I got pregnant
Speaker 1: with slate, with insemination um, and then with cruise um,
Speaker 1: it just wasn't the same. And we were going through IVF,
Speaker 1: and I think I did, like I mean, I did
Speaker 1: so many rounds of IVF. It was to the point
Speaker 1: where my mom and I mean my my parents, my mom,
Speaker 1: my dad, my husband were like, you can't do it again,
Speaker 1: like you're done, like this is your final time him
Speaker 1: and I remember feeling like all of these crazy emotions.
Speaker 1: I almost like hit it from my husband because I
Speaker 1: want I didn't want him to report back to like
Speaker 1: the doctor or my like family, like I don't think
Speaker 1: she can do another around. But it makes you crazy,
Speaker 1: like I remember how crazy I felt, an out of body,
Speaker 1: and it's you try to control it, but it's almost impossible.
Speaker 1: And and especially once you're going to the doctors and
Speaker 1: you're reading numbers and you're trying to track like is
Speaker 1: this is it going to be viable this time? Or
Speaker 1: like how you know you're just it's such a mind
Speaker 1: game and it's so emotional, and you just want to
Speaker 1: be able to control something you can't control, and you know,
Speaker 1: it's really hard to have faith in those moments, I
Speaker 1: think and you know, I I truthfully felt like I
Speaker 1: I wish I had the same mindset that I do now,
Speaker 1: where I was open and I shared with people what
Speaker 1: I was going through and knew how common it actually
Speaker 1: is and how many women it does happen to because
Speaker 1: I talk to anybody and just like went into a
Speaker 1: depression over it because I didn't want to like have
Speaker 1: that moment where I had to say, like, I'm broken,
Speaker 1: I feel completely broken, because this is all we want,
Speaker 1: this is you know, and we can't do it. Um
Speaker 1: So I I I think that it's one of the
Speaker 1: hardest things that you can go through, but it's also
Speaker 1: one of the most amazing things. You know. With time,
Speaker 1: it's just like we it's not going to be on
Speaker 1: our time schedule. There's no perfect time. Like when people
Speaker 1: say yeah, everything about having kids time, it's not right.
Speaker 1: There's no perfect time, especially when you deal with these
Speaker 1: obstacles and you know how difficult it can be and
Speaker 1: Teddy going through what you've been through, what would you
Speaker 1: say to someone like Sarah who just experienced this for
Speaker 1: the very first time, Like looking back now, what would
Speaker 1: you say, you know to Sarah or anybody else that's
Speaker 1: dealing with this, I would say, you know, the first
Speaker 1: thing is like, be open with I would assume you're married, um,
Speaker 1: be open with your husband and say how you're feeling
Speaker 1: or what you need in that moment um, and and
Speaker 1: let it all out. And also the biggest thing is
Speaker 1: nobody's going to tell you how to feel. Nobody's going
Speaker 1: to tell you that this is how you should be
Speaker 1: feeling right now, or it's gonna feel better next time,
Speaker 1: or that they have a good feeling about next time.
Speaker 1: It's all gonna piss you off. You know, Like the
Speaker 1: biggest thing is just continue on knowing that when the
Speaker 1: when the timing aligns, when it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: And that's the only thing that keeps you positive and going.
Speaker 1: And you know, as I wish, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: know I could do it any differently than I did before,
Speaker 1: but I wish I would have taken a breath during
Speaker 1: it all. I wish I would have gone, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be okay, We're gonna be okay, instead of just living
Speaker 1: in that anxiety and that pressure and that all of
Speaker 1: that that I did to myself. I am my gut.
Speaker 1: Feel like I made it harder. But it's so hard
Speaker 1: when you want that family. Well in like all I do,
Speaker 1: there's nothing to do, so all day I'm on Google
Speaker 1: all day, I'm reading blogs all day and I just
Speaker 1: become obsessive and it's like, oh my god, I wish
Speaker 1: so badly I could just have a life right now,
Speaker 1: or like go somewhere because I'm like, there's nothing, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm stuck in this apartment and it's all I can
Speaker 1: think about. It's all I'm which I'm like, Okay, just
Speaker 1: think of positive thoughts. If it's all you're gonna think about,
Speaker 1: just put out the positive energy and the positive thoughts.
Speaker 1: But it's like, I just want to know, you know,
Speaker 1: I like to have answers, and I mean I can
Speaker 1: say this and if it will give you a little piece.
Speaker 1: You were able to get pregnant. Yes, I know, and
Speaker 1: that's something I am very excited and thankful for because
Speaker 1: I've never been. I mean, this was my first everything
Speaker 1: I had never had, you know, so much as a scare,
Speaker 1: So that for me was huge because i mean we
Speaker 1: got married in February and then it was literally a
Speaker 1: month later, so I'm like, Okay, So I think it's
Speaker 1: it's hard to you know, we all go through it differently.
Speaker 1: In some weeks, it's and plus you're in a pandemic
Speaker 1: right now. Yeah, there's so many unknowns. There's so many
Speaker 1: things we can't control. And if you're at all you
Speaker 1: know type A or like and you know that personality type,
Speaker 1: then you want to be able to have the answers
Speaker 1: and you and you're gonna be a great mother, and
Speaker 1: you're gonna be able to have all of your dreams
Speaker 1: are going to come true. It's just not going to
Speaker 1: happen on the timeline that we necessarily want it. And
Speaker 1: I think giving yourself like ample amount of time to
Speaker 1: grieve because it is a loss. Yeah, no, it's true.
Speaker 1: And I feel like we were talking to a doctor earlier.
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's weird timing right now, like I'm just
Speaker 1: letting everything go. I'm just letting it happen, and like
Speaker 1: it still doesn't make it easier though, at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, it's still hard. It's especially when you
Speaker 1: you want to be a mom so bad, you know,
Speaker 1: I remember that It's like all I wanted was to
Speaker 1: hold my child, and then you know when it happened
Speaker 1: after Julie. It's like is this is this? It Like
Speaker 1: it's just like you just you want to know, but
Speaker 1: God's got the plan. It's just looking a little different. Um.
Speaker 1: I feel like I really want to talk about this
Speaker 1: though on the Teddy Tea Pod. I want you to
Speaker 1: come on Teddy Tea Pot too. I mean, we can
Speaker 1: we can dig into more things. Um, what what can
Speaker 1: listeners like if they if they listen to Teddy t
Speaker 1: what can what can they hear besides all this goodness?
Speaker 1: I mean essentially we just dig into different topics. So
Speaker 1: we've even we've talked about parenting during the pandemic, which like,
Speaker 1: let me be honest, me with core math trying to
Speaker 1: figure out like it's a whole doozy of a situation,
Speaker 1: like it's not fair that my first grader smarter than
Speaker 1: I am. Um. But from that to like three songs,
Speaker 1: it's like all over the place, and we have professionals
Speaker 1: on for each thing or you know, specialists. So I
Speaker 1: think that there's so much that you can learn, you
Speaker 1: can have fun. It's any different topic that we go
Speaker 1: down the rabbit hole on. I love that. I feel
Speaker 1: like I just wanna I wish we could hang out, like,
Speaker 1: I just hate this, you know, the zoom, it's just this.
Speaker 1: You know, this is fun and all, but I just
Speaker 1: like to be in person. You know. Yeah, you're a
Speaker 1: physical person. I am. Yes, right, you also have your
Speaker 1: fitness business too that you that's huge multi you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's crazy. Um, if you go on your Instagram,
Speaker 1: that's where people can find it, right, Yeah, you can
Speaker 1: go in Teddy Mellencamp or go all and buy Teddy
Speaker 1: to find either. And because of my miscarriages and infertility struggles,
Speaker 1: that's why I ended up deciding to go all in
Speaker 1: because I felt really lost and confused and I wasn't
Speaker 1: opening up, and it was like the key to changing
Speaker 1: my life. I love following your page because just seeing
Speaker 1: all the women that you've helped and um, you know
Speaker 1: how much happier they look to even like the after photos,
Speaker 1: it's like you can just see that they're just they're
Speaker 1: they're proud of themselves, and so I love that you're
Speaker 1: creating that, um, that space for them. Thank you. I
Speaker 1: think oftentimes they show like the before and after pictures
Speaker 1: and people see the physical, but what we forget about
Speaker 1: sometimes is how much the mental plays into it. You
Speaker 1: can't show that on a photograph. But like when you're
Speaker 1: feeling good you finally asked for that raise at work,
Speaker 1: or you know whatever it may be that you're feeling stuck,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you start taking action for sure, Teddy,
Speaker 1: I love you and I hope we get to hang
Speaker 1: soon because you're you're a badass. So um, I the
Speaker 1: same about you, guys, and I'm thinking about you and uh,
Speaker 1: I feel like the best is yet to come. Amen, friend,
Speaker 1: all right, everyone will listen to Teddy t Teddy Mellencamp
Speaker 1: love you friend. Um, I like guys, Yeah, she's so
Speaker 1: sweet and beautiful, like I just I love her. Um.
Speaker 1: I kind of want to revisit the what um we
Speaker 1: were talking about before we started the show with Tori.
Speaker 1: So let's take a break and then we'll get tor
Speaker 1: on alright, See, um, what do you got for us?
Speaker 1: Because I think you were you were in a deep
Speaker 1: thought before we started this. Yes, sorry, yes, I was
Speaker 1: reading an email from someone and they said, sorry, was
Speaker 1: it a wind down email or was it like just
Speaker 1: like an email email. It was just an email for
Speaker 1: one of our other podcasts, And I was asking Mike
Speaker 1: would you ever date someone taller than you? Or do
Speaker 1: guys actually take that as like a blow to the ego?
Speaker 1: So I think it's too I have two answers, Mike,
Speaker 1: did someone taller than I ever dated? Because you did? Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I hooked off. Was someone not taller, never
Speaker 1: taller than me? I think you said she was. They
Speaker 1: were tall enough. They were tall enough where if you're
Speaker 1: like spooning or something and they're like the same close
Speaker 1: to the same length as me on the couch, I'm like,
Speaker 1: am I spoonting the mail right now? No? I'm no,
Speaker 1: I'm not really meaning that, but I'm just saying it's
Speaker 1: for someone my size to like be holding someone who
Speaker 1: is of similar size or closer to my size. It's
Speaker 1: a little off putting. Now having said that, I'm not
Speaker 1: intimidated by it because I'm larger. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: if I was nothing against men that are like five
Speaker 1: ft six or five ft seven or anything like that,
Speaker 1: but if they are, I can see that being a
Speaker 1: bigger blow to an ego because they're already not maybe
Speaker 1: as tall as they would like to be, and they're
Speaker 1: dating someone that is taller than them. I could see
Speaker 1: that being a bigger issue. But for me, it's it's
Speaker 1: not a blow. It wouldn't be a blow to me
Speaker 1: because I'm you know, six five six six, so you
Speaker 1: know obviously up dated. People try are than me. You're good. Well, No,
Speaker 1: I dated someone who was five four yeah, wait, jam,
Speaker 1: I'm five four and a half and he was. He
Speaker 1: was he's maybe five five, so wearing heels, you'd be
Speaker 1: at least like two. I was always taller than yeah,
Speaker 1: and I really I did really like him. We worked
Speaker 1: on a show together, and I did like him. Sarah,
Speaker 1: are you going? You can't find it. It was never public,
Speaker 1: but if you google any of the shows I've been
Speaker 1: on and then go height wise, um so, but I
Speaker 1: really liked them. But for some reason, I've always just
Speaker 1: liked dating men that were taller than me and that
Speaker 1: I could wear heels in and that I could that
Speaker 1: it was just bigger like I. I don't know, it didn't.
Speaker 1: I guess I just like that mainly, Burt, like you,
Speaker 1: I you're big and you're like But it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that person wasn't great. It just wasn't, you know, my thing,
Speaker 1: I guess, But they really it affected and that's one
Speaker 1: of the reasons why we broke up, And there's naturally
Speaker 1: a level of security or protection if you're with someone
Speaker 1: who's physically of a certain physical stature. I make up.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing I will say to like Tory,
Speaker 1: like you're taller. I know Joey is going to be taller.
Speaker 1: I don't ever want her to feel um self conscious
Speaker 1: of that or not go after a guy because he
Speaker 1: may be shorter than her or you know, or or
Speaker 1: she sorry, she may be taller than him. So how
Speaker 1: do you go around about that too? Like does that
Speaker 1: kind of make you rethink things when you see a guy?
Speaker 1: I think that it eliminates a huge part of the
Speaker 1: dating pool, which is already hard enough for your own
Speaker 1: reasons or because you make up that they'll have an
Speaker 1: issue with it. No, just I don't have an issue
Speaker 1: dating somebody like maybe my own height, because I don't
Speaker 1: think like two inches is that big of adeal if
Speaker 1: I'm like putting on a boot or like a heel
Speaker 1: or whatever. But um, I just want to feel feminine.
Speaker 1: It's like my thing. So he would have to have
Speaker 1: like stef like if I can't fit in his pants,
Speaker 1: Like that's just like terra fund Like if I put
Speaker 1: on his sweats and they were like skin tight on me,
Speaker 1: like that would make me feel terrible totally, like we
Speaker 1: want to be swallowed in them. Like yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to put on a hoodie and I'm like where that
Speaker 1: as a dress? So that's like my only thing is
Speaker 1: like that's like a little bit of a preference for me,
Speaker 1: is just feeling like feminine. And I think it's okay
Speaker 1: to say and like want that because there's no issue
Speaker 1: with that at all, because I don't want people to
Speaker 1: think I'm like being shallow or no. They know if
Speaker 1: someone takes that a shallow then they were being ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's also a conversation of like the century,
Speaker 1: you know, but weirdly tall woman in short men is
Speaker 1: like a new trend. I mean, hey, whatever whatever you into,
Speaker 1: that's the thing. Whatever you're into, We're all into, you know,
Speaker 1: different things. I like bald men. My husband's bald. I
Speaker 1: like men with gray hair, you know, like waiting for
Speaker 1: the day. I can't wait until Mike's the beard gets
Speaker 1: I grow my beard out more often now because you
Speaker 1: can see more gray silver fox just like super handsome
Speaker 1: silver Fox. Love love the gray can't wait till your
Speaker 1: dad's age. It would be sixty years old. I really
Speaker 1: love you, and it speak when you're sixty Mike. I
Speaker 1: just I love Grey. What did you say, is Sarah?
Speaker 1: Oh no, I just said I love an old man,
Speaker 1: like I get that you do. Really, I would have
Speaker 1: never thought Tie is such a baby like baby face.
Speaker 1: He makes so much fun of me, like my top
Speaker 1: like five are like, well, we're gonna start with like
Speaker 1: Nick Saban, then we might Governor Cuomo is right up
Speaker 1: my alley. Um, I've always been attracted to like a
Speaker 1: young George Bush. And by young, I mean like fifties. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm prosessed with this conversation. Oh it's
Speaker 1: like a thing around our ties, Like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. I'm very excited for Tie to like look
Speaker 1: like Wayne confess that I have a major crush on
Speaker 1: Sarah's dad. Oh, like I feel like blushing abound him
Speaker 1: at I have. I have a crush on Sarah's sister,
Speaker 1: And I made that very clear at the wedding. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm kind of crushing on your sister, her
Speaker 1: lesbian sister. She's reminds me of Brandy Carlyle I am
Speaker 1: a Tory did call me the other day. She's like,
Speaker 1: I think I had to crush on your dad literally
Speaker 1: like with like blushing like on the danceler. I'm like,
Speaker 1: why do you look kind of hot and sexy to
Speaker 1: me right now? Sylvia is gonna get you, girl, But
Speaker 1: you've got some tough competition with Sylvia. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: But I also had a crush on her mom too.
Speaker 1: I could see I could see having a crush on
Speaker 1: your dad like he is, but he's almost like too nice,
Speaker 1: so like I would need a little touch more of
Speaker 1: like and that's like I made like the first interaction
Speaker 1: with Tom, I made like a sexual joke and Sis like,
Speaker 1: oh god, oh, that was the most uncomfortable part of
Speaker 1: Sarah's wedding. I could not do you remember what he said.
Speaker 1: It was something like you make a man, or like
Speaker 1: get on your knees or something. It was. It was
Speaker 1: that it was get on your knees, and I was
Speaker 1: just like, oh my god, are you asking him to like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. I was so uncomfortable. I was like,
Speaker 1: and this is the first interaction with Mr Cusick. Hey man,
Speaker 1: that's you either make or break the relationship right off
Speaker 1: the bat. Guys, I'm in a weird way. I hope
Speaker 1: you feel this to Sarah. I love that we're ending
Speaker 1: with laughter. It was very therapeutic and we need a
Speaker 1: good lat Yeah that was. I love you again. I
Speaker 1: think you're the bravest woman that I know. And um yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I love this was. I hope. I hope
Speaker 1: you feel so much love when this airs so um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good place to end it, all right, Well
Speaker 1: here's the gray hair. I love you, guys. Fe