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Speaker 1: In order to do social media as a family, your

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Speaker 1: spouse does not have to agree with everything you.

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Speaker 2: Want to do.

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Speaker 3: We are living proof.

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Speaker 4: I'm happy to know that I'm not the only spouse

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Speaker 4: in the two that was not signed.

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Speaker 3: Up for this shit, but I'm enjoying the hell out

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Speaker 3: of it. Dead ass.

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Speaker 4: Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoured, and we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 2: You may know us from posting funny videos with.

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Speaker 4: Our voice and reading each other publicly as.

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Speaker 3: A form of therapy.

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Speaker 2: Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.

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Speaker 3: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

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Speaker 2: Yes, sir, we are.

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Speaker 1: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 1: li's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 3: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred

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Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 1: To take billow talk to our whole new level.

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Speaker 3: Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 1: All right, So we're gonna talk about we really talked

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Speaker 1: about this, but uh, in honor of our guest today,

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Speaker 1: I have a special song for them because it represents

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Speaker 1: them so well. They're comedians, they love to joke around,

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Speaker 1: so this song is dedicated to them.

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Speaker 2: He got jungle feed, but she got Jump. That's not

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Speaker 2: the song. That's not the song.

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Speaker 5: It doesn't matter. It's your black, old white going Saturday night.

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Speaker 2: Send me.

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Speaker 5: I believe the miracles, Spight.

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Speaker 2: I don't know none of them.

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Speaker 4: It's taking me back to the Golden Girls with you

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Speaker 4: and Jackson. Lea didn't know none of the words.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for being a friend.

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Speaker 4: No, we can joke in karaoke because we understand this couple.

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Speaker 1: So you meet this couple and see how funny they are,

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Speaker 1: you will understand everything.

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Speaker 3: Yes for sure.

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Speaker 1: All right, story time, So I'm gonna take y'all back

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Speaker 1: to two thousand and.

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Speaker 2: Eighteen Halloween.

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Speaker 1: We had three sons at this point, and Kadeen and

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Speaker 1: I were in park Slope taking our boys to go

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Speaker 1: trick or treating, and I had this grand idea to

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Speaker 1: do a video, right, and the video was going to

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Speaker 1: be about bullying and how me and Jackson were fighting

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Speaker 1: against the bullies throwing eggs.

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Speaker 2: Right, So we pull up and we pull up and

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Speaker 2: see you.

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Speaker 1: Park and I'm like, all right, kay, were about to

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Speaker 1: do a video and Case sucker teeth, I'm like you

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Speaker 1: to suck.

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Speaker 3: Your teeth for I'm just trying to trigger treat and

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Speaker 3: go home.

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Speaker 2: Yeah see, you be trying to trick or treat and

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Speaker 2: go home.

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Speaker 1: But all the stuff that needs to get paid for

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Speaker 1: for trick or treating gets paid more by these videos.

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Speaker 1: So if you're gonna tell me you want to do this,

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Speaker 1: you want to go ahead, you want to do that,

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Speaker 1: but then every time I'm trying to do work, it's

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Speaker 1: gonna be a problem. So I was like, Babe, all

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Speaker 1: we gotta do is do this video. Is gonna take

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Speaker 1: us about twenty minutes, and then we can go trick

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Speaker 1: or treating. Right every two minutes, Case sucking her teeth

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Speaker 1: romhas I freaking lose it.

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Speaker 2: I freaking lose it in front of the kids. I'm like, nah, fuck, this,

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Speaker 2: ain't nobody going trick or treated. If we can't do

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Speaker 2: no videos, we going home. Jackson gonna look at me.

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Speaker 1: So now I can't go trick or treat it because

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Speaker 1: y'all too, we'll argue about doing videos. At that part,

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Speaker 1: it kind of got to my spirit a little bit,

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Speaker 1: and I was like damn, I can't do this to

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Speaker 1: my son. So I was like, hey, look, look, look,

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Speaker 1: look look what you're doing. So at first, you know

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it all dads do. I blame mom.

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Speaker 1: I say, see what you're doing to the babies. You

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Speaker 1: see what you're doing to the babies. Can we just

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Speaker 1: do the.

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Speaker 2: Video real quick.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna take fifteen minutes. We do video fifteen minutes,

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Speaker 1: and then we go trick or treated. She said, fine,

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Speaker 1: Grin and Barry right, we do the video. I post

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Speaker 1: a video before we go trick or treated. By the

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Speaker 1: time we started trick or treating thirty minutes later, we

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Speaker 1: had one hundred and seventy thousand views.

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Speaker 2: I pointed.

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Speaker 1: I said, hey, hey, you see this, babe. Look how

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Speaker 1: many views we got. I said, ain, no week I

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Speaker 1: got them views.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I'm a paid actress. Pay me, pay me in

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Speaker 3: this job that I did not apply for, sir.

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Speaker 1: Oh, you get paid. You get paid every other night

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Speaker 1: and twice on weekends.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: That was a good one though, because I remember we

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Speaker 4: were two seconds away from going home, and poor Jackson

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Speaker 4: was like, so we can't go trick or treat, So

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Speaker 4: why do we have a costume, So why did we

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Speaker 4: get a costume?

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Speaker 2: That was a good time?

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Speaker 6: Yay?

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Speaker 3: It was social media life that I got bullied. I

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Speaker 3: got I got bullied into social media.

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Speaker 2: You did, you know? And I'm unapologetic. I don't care.

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Speaker 3: And now I'm the one like babes we're posting today.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I got to wait for them, but once the

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Speaker 4: bag started rolling in, I was just like, oh, this

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Speaker 4: is this is nice.

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Speaker 2: You see what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: This is nice.

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Speaker 1: You're welcome, But listen, we're gonna take a quick break.

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Speaker 1: We have some special guests with us today. You want

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Speaker 1: to meet them when we come back.

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Speaker 4: That's correct, Stay tuned, y'all will be back.

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Speaker 3: All right, y'all, we're back. Thank you for sticking or around.

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Speaker 4: Man, I remember those days where we used to fuss

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Speaker 4: and fight over content. Yes, and I said, you know what,

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Speaker 4: we should bring in some reinforcements. I want to talk

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Speaker 4: to some other families who deal with this whole social

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Speaker 4: media life and what that looks like, you know, because

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Speaker 4: sometimes it can be very very feeling oversaturated as a market,

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Speaker 4: but also very very lonely. Yes, And I just want

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Speaker 4: to know if anybody can empathize with me you know

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Speaker 4: what I'm saying. And Rowalland is a comedian, host, storyteller,

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Speaker 4: and director whose social media presence has won so many

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Speaker 4: of us over. We've watched her family grow from just

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Speaker 4: her and her husband Ben to now a family of three,

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Speaker 4: and now on their new Pad podcast, Fly on the Wallen,

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Speaker 4: which I absolutely love that Fly on the Wall and

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Speaker 4: Amber and Ben give us hilarious and insightful advice about

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Speaker 4: love and relationships. Amber and Ben thank you all so

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Speaker 4: much for being here.

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Speaker 6: Hey, hello, Hello, It's so good to be here.

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Speaker 3: So guys, Oh my god, so happy to have y'all were.

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Speaker 7: I feel so validated by the story that was just told,

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Speaker 7: because in the early days, every single moment I was

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Speaker 7: stopping you like, let me get this for my Snapchat,

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Speaker 7: and then m became let me get this for my Instagram,

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Speaker 7: let me get this for my TikTok, and then that

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Speaker 7: first check wrote it, he was like, oh, get it,

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Speaker 7: get it for your garden now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, let's be real.

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Speaker 6: So I was a teacher at this point. I was

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Speaker 6: one moment really hit me when I was trying to

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Speaker 6: help a student and like, I'm sorry, mister Wallan, I

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Speaker 6: just saw you in your underwear yesterday on your work

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Speaker 6: talk account and I said, oh fudge, are we allowed

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Speaker 6: to swear can?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. So I was like fuck. And

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Speaker 6: then one of and one of my co teachers one time,

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Speaker 6: as an April fool's joke, was like, Hey, the principal

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Speaker 6: wants to talk to you about your wife's TikTok account

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Speaker 6: and as a joke, and I was like, I'm going

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Speaker 6: to get fucking fired, Like that was his joke to me.

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Speaker 6: So I this might give some context to the hesitancy

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Speaker 6: of like not wanting to make everything a video. But yeah,

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Speaker 6: once the money started coming in, I was like, fuck

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Speaker 6: those kids, I'm ready to be.

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Speaker 7: That's right.

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Speaker 6: Well yeah, it's like yeah, yeah, you saw my wife's Instagram.

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Speaker 6: Have you seen her? Only fans like, let's go come on, Like.

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Speaker 4: I got to trust magic about the only fans who

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Speaker 4: said we could make talk about Fly on the Wall

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Speaker 4: and people have said, man, wish we could be on

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Speaker 4: a Fly on the Wall with y'all because we're we're

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Speaker 4: almost certain that stuff goes down.

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Speaker 2: I'll put some cameras on, you know.

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Speaker 4: So shoot, talk about multiple streams.

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Speaker 1: This is this is the biggest thing I think people

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Speaker 1: don't realize why vlogging is so important, right, and why

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Speaker 1: creating content is so important. We grew up during the

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Speaker 1: time where family matters, Fresh Prints, the Nanny, The world

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Speaker 1: was filled with family content, where people could watch other

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Speaker 1: families and say, hey, I can resonate with that when

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Speaker 1: you look at the way the world is now. They

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Speaker 1: do have reality shows, but typically these reality shows are

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Speaker 1: rooted in evils and mess and they want to see people,

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Speaker 1: you know, go through issues together. And it's very rare

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Speaker 1: that you find a reality show that's just all about community.

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Speaker 1: And I think that vlogging has taken a place for

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Speaker 1: that ninety sitcom right. You don't really see any more

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Speaker 1: nineties sitcoms anymore. Now you have YouTube pages and you

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Speaker 1: have YouTube family. So I think that this is definitely

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Speaker 1: a space where people who can create content and make

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Speaker 1: it relatable would also make it funny slightly scripted can

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Speaker 1: do well.

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Speaker 2: So kudos to you.

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Speaker 1: Guys for seeing that up front and getting it done.

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Speaker 7: I agree with that. I think I also grew up

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Speaker 7: in the era of like loving like the Flavor Flames,

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Speaker 7: like just kind of very crunchy, because I was, like,

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Speaker 7: I loved those shows growing up loved the Cosby family

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Speaker 7: and everything like that, but I was like, this family

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Speaker 7: is too perfect, Like you're a doctor, you're a lawyer,

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Speaker 7: and in my house it was kind of it was

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Speaker 7: the same busyness, but it was a little bit more

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Speaker 7: wild and chaotic. So I think, right, people people might

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Speaker 7: watch all all be like, look at this whost of family,

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Speaker 7: and people watch us and be like, Okay, we ain't

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Speaker 7: that mad, we we ain't quite that annoying. So I

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Speaker 7: think there's that level of like, wow, these girls won't flave. Okay,

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Speaker 7: I don't agree, but let me keep let me keep watching.

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Speaker 1: Because we watched, We watched Flavor of It was Flavor

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Speaker 1: of Love, I Love New York. Who was the other guys?

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Speaker 1: It was the two brothers Chance.

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Speaker 3: Oh, and yes, were they a spin off from this?

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Speaker 2: They will spin a real and Chance really Chance?

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Speaker 6: Right?

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Speaker 1: But those shows were also wholesome, even in their mess

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Speaker 1: because they weren't trying to break anybody up. They wanted

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Speaker 1: to see people find love, and not everybody's the bachelor

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Speaker 1: or the bachelorette. Sometimes you got somebody who's like a

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Speaker 1: Flavor of Love, who who may not be everyone's typical

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Speaker 1: person of love.

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Speaker 2: But this is someone who wants to find someone to

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Speaker 2: spend with us in their life with.

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Speaker 1: So I think that in a way, we all have

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Speaker 1: that type of love because when me and k first started,

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Speaker 1: we were into the apartment and we were struggling and

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Speaker 1: we were grinding, and there was nothing perfect about our

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Speaker 1: love story at that time, Like people had a lot

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Speaker 1: to say, they had a whole lot to say, but

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Speaker 1: we were able to work through it byt just continuously

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Speaker 1: being our authentic selves and the people were able to

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Speaker 1: find the love through all of the mess.

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Speaker 2: Similar to you, guys, I.

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Speaker 4: Want our question for Ben because I feel like me

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Speaker 4: and Ben are kind of on the similar wavelength here,

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Speaker 4: but weren't necessarily signed up for this life, but here

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Speaker 4: we are and we're enjoying the bags that come in now.

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Speaker 4: But what was like the turning point for you other

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Speaker 4: than of course like it becoming lucrative. Did you just

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Speaker 4: fall in love with the idea of Amber, like just

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Speaker 4: really being committed to this or did you feel like

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Speaker 4: maybe she was onto something Like at what point did

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Speaker 4: it turn for you where you were like, oh, that's

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Speaker 4: a good question. Social media family thing may be a

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Speaker 4: thing for me.

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Speaker 6: Well before I met Amber, I was a thestspian myself.

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Speaker 6: It's different than a lesbian an actor. So I did theater,

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Speaker 6: but I did theater in college. I loved like Tennessee

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Speaker 6: Williams Place. I loved like drama and like acting. And

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Speaker 6: we actually took improv classes together like some people get

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Speaker 6: marriage therapy, but we just took improv classes because it

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Speaker 6: was a little bit cheaper.

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Speaker 2: And so.

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Speaker 6: No, it is it's like there's yes anning and like

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Speaker 6: building characters, and I think there's a lot of like

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Speaker 6: marital like So I would recommend anybody who's married or

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Speaker 6: like in a long term relationship like taking improv class

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Speaker 6: because even if you're not comfortable with that, you can

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Speaker 6: really learn with that persons. This was all before this

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Speaker 6: was all before all of that. So I've always liked

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Speaker 6: acting with Amber. And Amber was like doing funny things

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Speaker 6: on snapchap and one time there's a comedian and I

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Speaker 6: really really respect Andy Rowl and he one time Amber

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Speaker 6: like put on a debaby song and I was like,

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Speaker 6: I can do something with this on my violin. So

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Speaker 6: I busted out my violin and I made this like

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Speaker 6: crazy like addition to this, this is when the baby

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Speaker 6: wasn't as controversial as he is now, and so I

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Speaker 6: did some like really cool stuff because I'm a classically

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Speaker 6: trained violinist and my and our friend and he was

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Speaker 6: like yeah, yeah, and Andy, thank you, thank you, and

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Speaker 6: I'm sorry you say this. Can you say this directly

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Speaker 6: to Amber? Like say that again?

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Speaker 7: But like, look at Amber, Can I ask you what

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Speaker 7: it was like to support me? And on the table?

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Speaker 6: So I was I was.

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Speaker 2: Tot him to do that.

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Speaker 4: He said, you put me in this job that I

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Speaker 4: didn't apply for, So here's my resume.

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Speaker 3: No one asked.

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Speaker 6: I think. I think it was just a big moment

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Speaker 6: was when uh TikTok came about. Because the reach of

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Speaker 6: TikTok was so incredible and my ego is in need

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Speaker 6: of such boosting that when we started to get like

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Speaker 6: so many views, I was like, all right, this is

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Speaker 6: this is fun. And I it might have been I

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Speaker 6: think I don't it could have been the money, but

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Speaker 6: I think it was also just the fact knowing I

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Speaker 6: was making people laugh was so was so good and

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Speaker 6: making people not feel bad about themselves and we're like

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Speaker 6: it was positive content For the most part. It's pretty

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Speaker 6: like a political like but like we are you know,

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Speaker 6: so I anybody could laugh at what we did, we

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Speaker 6: would hope. And I think that's a really good way

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Speaker 6: to bring people together at a time of like very

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Speaker 6: absolutely bipolarization. And so I think the comedy is a

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Speaker 6: powerful tool. And so it was definitely probably the moment

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Speaker 6: of like TikTok, I think when I was like, Yeah,

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Speaker 6: this is this is great, let's do this.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'll say this.

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Speaker 1: I want to pat Amber on the back of myself

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Speaker 1: on the back for showing you guys how to dig

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Speaker 1: into your talent groups and stop judging yourself and just

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Speaker 1: be who you really want to be. Because if it

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Speaker 1: wasn't for me and Amber, y'all would just be You

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Speaker 1: would be a teacher, you would be in the office,

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Speaker 1: y'all would just have miserable lives, not making people last,

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Speaker 1: not making people last, not not being.

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Speaker 2: Silly taking yourself.

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Speaker 1: So, because I could see Ben right now being a

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Speaker 1: serious science teacher right now, if he wasn't doing this,

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Speaker 1: he would be very serious. Nobody everybody be quiet in

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Speaker 1: my class has spoken. So I want to thank Amber

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Speaker 1: on myself for forgetting you guys butterflies science teacher for sure.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm like I remind every time we go out

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Speaker 7: to eat and they say, still are sparkling. I'm like,

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Speaker 7: who do you love? Who do you love? Because we

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Speaker 7: didn't even know there was a question to be asked

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Speaker 7: in the before times.

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Speaker 6: That's right, idea sparkling that I want. I want toilet

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Speaker 6: bowl water personally for me, I want the cheapest water.

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Speaker 7: I tell them all the time, like when I when

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Speaker 7: I met him, he was slipping on the food time. Okay,

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Speaker 7: so I'm like, remember remember that when you start arguing

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Speaker 7: with me, you could go back to that food time life.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yow again.

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Speaker 4: Hostile over here and these dead ass fly on the

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Speaker 4: wall and streets right now.

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Speaker 1: But no, but but but to be honest, man, someone

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Speaker 1: has to jump out the window and say we can

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Speaker 1: do this. There has to be someone, But there has

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Speaker 1: to be I was going to try and see that,

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Speaker 1: but I couldn't get it down.

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Speaker 3: I just wanted to pat me and Ben on the backroom.

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Speaker 3: But go ahead.

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Speaker 1: But I was trying to give you your flowers, but

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Speaker 1: you took your flowers and snatched and take your flowers,

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Speaker 1: you and bend and run with your flowers.

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Speaker 3: All right, it's it right.

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Speaker 4: What's set up on the corner in New York Ben

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Speaker 4: can play the violin out tad.

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Speaker 3: Dance and we'll just like make some money that way.

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Speaker 4: Literally we'll be earning our keep to Ben. Right.

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Speaker 1: But no, but seriously, though, this shows you how like realistically,

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Speaker 1: when Ben said improv classes is good for marriage, I

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Speaker 1: agree because the biggest thing with improv is listening. What

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Speaker 1: people don't realize is that if you really want to

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Speaker 1: communicate well in your marriage, you got to listen. People

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Speaker 1: think communication is just knowing what to say to get

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Speaker 1: your pointed.

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Speaker 2: For us, no, communication is about listening.

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Speaker 1: And when I took improv classes in college and in

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Speaker 1: post college, it was all about, you know what, let

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Speaker 1: me understand where my partner's coming from.

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Speaker 6: Right.

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Speaker 1: So this is kudos to all four of us to

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Speaker 1: finding a way to listen to what our partner is

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Speaker 1: saying and being a support system even if we didn't

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Speaker 1: see the vision, right because you guys first didn't see

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Speaker 1: the vision. But it's like, you know what, I love

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Speaker 1: this person and they have a passion for it, so

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Speaker 1: let me rock out and us not knowing that us

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Speaker 1: knowing that y'all didn't see the vision, but being like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I see something in this person and

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Speaker 1: we can do this. So that's entrepreneurship. Entrepreneur is a

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Speaker 1: huge improv class.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, cause you you literally you can't do the scene

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Speaker 7: by yourself. You can try, but if people are signing

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Speaker 7: up to see a scene, not a one woman show,

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Speaker 7: you you kind of at some point need somebody. And

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Speaker 7: I was, I know, in the beginning, I was very

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Speaker 7: nervous because I had my own comedy career in Chicago

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Speaker 7: and TikTok is the land of TikTok is the land

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Speaker 7: of you see one interesting thing in the back of

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Speaker 7: somebody's video, and then everybody in the comments is looking

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Speaker 7: at that interesting thing. So I think it literally became

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Speaker 7: sort of one time Ben walking through and obviously people

377
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Speaker 7: are like, who is that white man in your house?

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Speaker 7: And then I was like, oh, y'all, don't y'all don't

379
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,920
Speaker 7: want to talk to Ben. They were like, actually we do.

380
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Speaker 7: We want to learn more. And it's like, you know,

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Speaker 7: that was a shock to my ego. First, I was like,

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Speaker 7: what a woman in comedy, years of improv and stand

383
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Speaker 7: up classes and y'all want to see Ben. You know

384
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,639
Speaker 7: that that mob scene where like SpongeBob just mopping the

385
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Speaker 7: floor in the back and squit was like, I'm playing

386
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Speaker 7: a clarinet. What's everybody looking at?

387
00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:01,479
Speaker 6: Right?

388
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 7: That's kind of how Ben started. And eventually I kind

389
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,040
Speaker 7: of had to humble myself and be like, you know what,

390
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 7: he is a part of it, and you kind of

391
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,960
Speaker 7: need a dramatic character and then like the straight man

392
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Speaker 7: of the scene to respond off of. That's how every

393
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,000
Speaker 7: like every movie works that way, every good sitcom.

394
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Speaker 2: Works that way.

395
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Speaker 7: You can't just have too crazy so or you can't

396
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,560
Speaker 7: have two muted characters. So it really did end up

397
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,280
Speaker 7: working for the best. And you know, you know when

398
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:30,920
Speaker 7: babies get involved that that's just like we have to

399
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,560
Speaker 7: talk about anybody else on the internet because it's like, no,

400
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,360
Speaker 7: we got enough content in our home.

401
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Speaker 6: Well, Amber is very clearly the director, Like Amber is

402
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 6: a writer at heart. Like recently we went to a

403
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Speaker 6: bar and she read me some of her stand up

404
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,480
Speaker 6: and I was like vomiting, like of laughter, like I

405
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 6: was throwing off my whist.

406
00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 7: I was like, say it right, You're like I was

407
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,880
Speaker 7: vombing it. It was so bad.

408
00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,760
Speaker 6: It was so funny. I like I was like crawling

409
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:58,320
Speaker 6: on the floor laughing, like drinking like a nicer whiskey.

410
00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,160
Speaker 6: And I was really upset that she made me spit

411
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,640
Speaker 6: out my whiskey. But like it's very clearly I think

412
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,000
Speaker 6: if people follow us long enough, that Amber is the director,

413
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 6: Like she knows what she's doing, and so all all

414
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 6: our successes come down to you know her, because as

415
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,200
Speaker 6: what the Great Nini leaks said, like no one knew

416
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,399
Speaker 6: me before they knew you or something like that. I

417
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,280
Speaker 6: don't know, that's what you.

418
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 1: Go to me, The Great Nini is a front of

419
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:27,240
Speaker 1: the show.

420
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 3: So yeah, for sure, for sure.

421
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 4: So is it safe to say that for people who

422
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 4: aspire to do what we do right? The social media content,

423
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,880
Speaker 4: the family content, and this is kind of the recipe

424
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,000
Speaker 4: for it. You have the one person who's like the director,

425
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,840
Speaker 4: the creator that has like is the innovator that knows

426
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,879
Speaker 4: the comedy, the beasts and all that. And then you

427
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,679
Speaker 4: have me and Ben, who's the person that falls in

428
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:48,880
Speaker 4: line and just knows the.

429
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 3: Script and just goes along with the flow.

430
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,640
Speaker 4: That pretty much kind of sums up what it looks

431
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,159
Speaker 4: like right for a couple of.

432
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:58,160
Speaker 1: Say it, if I'm being honest, yeah, I mean, I mean,

433
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,359
Speaker 1: you know, you can't have a with too many you

434
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 1: can't have a kitchen with too many chefs, right, someone

435
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 1: has to follow, someone has to be the sioux chef.

436
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:08,200
Speaker 1: But and also it takes a lot to be able

437
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 1: to flow with the direction that the director is going, right, Like,

438
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,439
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure Amber may think of some things up

439
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,320
Speaker 1: the cuff, and it takes Ben to be able to

440
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:16,119
Speaker 1: pick it up and do it.

441
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,400
Speaker 2: You do that for me very well.

442
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 1: You know, I'll come with a script and a lot

443
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 1: of times in the beginning I'll tell, Okay, this is

444
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:26,440
Speaker 1: what we're saying, this is the aim, and every time

445
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,240
Speaker 1: we would do it, she would say some wild shit

446
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,240
Speaker 1: that be hilarious, and she'd be like, oh, was I

447
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,200
Speaker 1: supposed to say that? I'm like, nah, just keep going,

448
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 1: I do write it, Just keep going. And then just

449
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 1: like you, I'm like, Kay became the star, and I

450
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,879
Speaker 1: was just like, yo, like there can be two stars

451
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,679
Speaker 1: in here. And people ask us all the time, right

452
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,720
Speaker 1: like how will y'all how do y'all deal with being married?

453
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 2: And who's the most important person? And I'm like, nobody

454
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 2: really be thinking about that over here.

455
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 1: We provide content based on what happens in our life,

456
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 1: and if one wins, we both win.

457
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,879
Speaker 2: And a lot of times this videos, I think I'm

458
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 2: gonna be the star in the video. She to start.

459
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 1: Then there's some videos all right, and I'm like, yo, okay,

460
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 1: they gonna think this is funny, and Davo was funny.

461
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 1: So I'd like, forget trying to be who's the star.

462
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,520
Speaker 1: Let's just put out the content and it's.

463
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 3: And then you roll the kids into it. Now, so

464
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:13,800
Speaker 3: you guys have a three year old?

465
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 4: Is it?

466
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 7: She sixteen months?

467
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,240
Speaker 3: I don't know where are not three year old from? Okay,

468
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,400
Speaker 3: so three of.

469
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 6: Us don't put those years on us yet, no way.

470
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,480
Speaker 4: Jet A by the bags on the eyes, she about

471
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 4: three second, you'll never sleep again ever in life.

472
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,320
Speaker 3: So I'm welcome, welcome, y'all.

473
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,879
Speaker 4: So when you start adding the layer of children like

474
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 4: you said now too, then that becomes like an added

475
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:44,960
Speaker 4: layer of content, right because people then are just like,

476
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 4: forget de valecadeen, forget we want to see the babies.

477
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 4: At this point, I mean, she can't really tell you

478
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 4: guys if she wants to be on camera or not.

479
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,399
Speaker 4: So that's gonna be another added layer when she starts

480
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,440
Speaker 4: talking and letting you know what she wants and doesn't want.

481
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 4: Because with us having four children, we have like one

482
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 4: we have one that's just like, no, I.

483
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 3: Don't want to do it. No, I don't want to

484
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 3: do a video.

485
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 2: No, not for and we're cool with it.

486
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: And the funny thing is people will be like people

487
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,199
Speaker 1: will be like, how come kas ain't in any in

488
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 1: the videos?

489
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 2: And I'm just like, kads don't want to be in

490
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:13,640
Speaker 2: the video.

491
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 3: I don't care about y'all.

492
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 2: To draw, he wants to pain. He don't want to

493
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 2: talk to nobody. So we like, go ahead and do

494
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 2: what you want to do, so.

495
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 4: For sure, So we laugh in jokes sometimes about dead

496
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,919
Speaker 4: ass being in our what almost eleven twelve season. At

497
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,920
Speaker 4: this point, I'm being almost like a form of therapy

498
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,879
Speaker 4: for us as a couple because we get to just

499
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 4: actively talk about things that I mean, sometimes stuff come

500
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 4: up here just in conversation and I'm like, I didn't

501
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 4: know you felt like what that?

502
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 6: Yeah?

503
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 4: Or he'd be like, hey, really like these surprise aha

504
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 4: moments like who are you? Who am I sleeping next

505
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 4: to this stranger? So we speak openly and candidly, but

506
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 4: we also like to bring levity to challenges and stuff

507
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 4: that come along with marriage. So have you guys felt

508
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,679
Speaker 4: the same way at all with having just social media

509
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 4: content or even your podcast. Has that worked for you

510
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 4: guys in terms of being married couple but also speaking

511
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 4: about things so openly, Oh for sure.

512
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 6: I mean I actually write things to bring up on

513
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 6: the podcast because the podcast is like a buffer, because

514
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,960
Speaker 6: she can't get too mad at me on.

515
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,239
Speaker 7: You know, he'll be like, okay, so this ps far

516
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 7: for the listeners purposes. I'm like, now we are four k.

517
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 6: Right, and I'll yeah, I think I think in some

518
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 6: ways I things will come up. But we have definitely

519
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 6: like things have come up on a podcast and it

520
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,880
Speaker 6: got too real and so we had to like edit

521
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 6: that out or like oh wait, no, no, no, we're

522
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,480
Speaker 6: not ready to talk about this yet, anything like being

523
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 6: which is fair, which yeah, because it is like this

524
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,520
Speaker 6: in many ways, what y'all are doing is an open

525
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 6: journal for people because you are talking things and then

526
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,679
Speaker 6: sometimes you need to like edit that. And so I

527
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,120
Speaker 6: found podcasting, even if we had zero listeners, I found

528
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:09,119
Speaker 6: it just helpful for us to communicate and to listen.

529
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 6: Like one time Amber was editing the podcast, She's like,

530
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,400
Speaker 6: I talk over you too much, you know what I mean.

531
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's great like a highlight tape almost because You're like,

532
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 7: there it is on display. I have to edit it,

533
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 7: and I'm like, I can't even use this clip because

534
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 7: I was talking over my person. So like, mister, which

535
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 7: I'm sure you told me for years, but I was like,

536
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 7: the writing is on the wall here, so podcast, I said,

537
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:35,640
Speaker 7: he had to say it as it.

538
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 1: So, yeah, I've been telling my wife a long time too,

539
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:44,400
Speaker 1: and she don't care. We got into an argument last night. Now,

540
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 1: well it wasn't an argument, it was a discussion. And

541
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,639
Speaker 1: I said two words and she just went on. Six

542
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 1: minutes later, she's like, you understand, and I was just like, yeah, yeah,

543
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:53,679
Speaker 1: I got it. I said, do you understand where I'm

544
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: coming from? She said where where you coming from? I said,

545
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: you don't know because you wouldn't let me speak. And

546
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,479
Speaker 1: she said, well that's fine, that's fine as long as

547
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 1: we're in under standing. And she walked away.

548
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 7: But we done here, But did you understand?

549
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,679
Speaker 1: I did understand. I understood. I was just like, what

550
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 1: I understand is that you don't care about how.

551
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 3: Well we arrive at the.

552
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 4: Doll. We arrive at the destination the Lord, that's funny,

553
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:19,879
Speaker 4: but I mean I think that we just take it

554
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,439
Speaker 4: in stride. Because it takes a lot of guts for

555
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 4: us to do what we do to be able to share.

556
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,159
Speaker 4: I know when I started doing the social media content

557
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 4: with Deval, my family was not sold on it. Do

558
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 4: y'all get any backlash from your family members about like

559
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 4: putting too much out there? Because I know at first

560
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 4: my family was just like, girl, why are you talking

561
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 4: about your issues on social media?

562
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 3: This is crazy? Why why are cameras in your house?

563
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 4: I'm like, it's not cameras, it's the phone, you know,

564
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 4: But after editing and producing content, it looks like it's

565
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 4: an actual.

566
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,119
Speaker 3: Footage of people in our homes.

567
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 6: You know.

568
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 3: Do you guys get any backlash from family members and stuff?

569
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 7: Yeah, especially in early days when they're not when they're

570
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 7: just saying the storytelling and the sharing and they're not

571
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 7: seeing you know, Jp Morgan's benefits, right, They're not seeing

572
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,679
Speaker 7: they're not seeing capital one. But I think now, you know,

573
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 7: because our parents are from the generation of like, family

574
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 7: don't air out your laundry, and family business is family business,

575
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 7: and don't let people see the almost like the holes

576
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 7: in your ship and your boats, and so I think

577
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 7: for that generation, they're like, you're sharing your marital issues

578
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 7: to other people, why they're gonna think you're falling apart.

579
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 7: But people feel more seen when they're like, Okay, everybody's

580
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 7: marriage isn't perfect because they did come from They came

581
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,880
Speaker 7: from the the era of keeping up with the Joneses,

582
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 7: and I think everybody is now like we're a mess.

583
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 7: You two great, let's talk about it. So I think

584
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 7: I think there's more money in that when people feel

585
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 7: like they're on FaceTime with us versus just like aesthetically

586
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 7: pleasing Instagram couples.

587
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 2: For me personally, yeah, so and that hey, listen, that's

588
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:55,679
Speaker 2: the truth.

589
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 1: I told Kay because k used to when I used

590
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 1: to start videos in the morning.

591
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 2: She'd have a it on. She like wait wait, wait,

592
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 2: wait wait, let me I said no, no, no.

593
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 3: No, let me brush my teeth.

594
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 1: I said no, let them smell your breath through the phone,

595
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: like I gotta smell it every morning, Like let them

596
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 1: see how real it is. Keep the bonnet on, don't

597
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 1: brush your teeth. And people would literally say, I ain't

598
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 1: hear nothing. Daval said, it's Kadean wearing a bonnet being

599
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 1: bothered for me, and it's just the reality. It's real,

600
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 1: like it's everybody's not made up every day. We don't

601
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,400
Speaker 1: speak kindly to each other all the time. No, we argue,

602
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 1: so we we disagree on a lot of things, but

603
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:31,959
Speaker 1: you know what we do, we love each other through it,

604
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 1: and that's what people really want to see.

605
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 2: Like I don't. We don't got to be perfect people

606
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 2: to be in love.

607
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 1: Like nah, sometimes k don't like me, sometimes I don't

608
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: like her, But you know what we're gonna do. Go

609
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 1: to bed at night, talk about our issues, wake up

610
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 1: in the morning, and try to be better the next day.

611
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 2: Like that's just what it is.

612
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 4: It was just a learning curve for me because I

613
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 4: know you guys probably have also dealt with this maybe

614
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 4: now or early on, but getting past what people are

615
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,400
Speaker 4: seeing in the comments right because you're concerned about how

616
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 4: this is going to be received. So for me early on,

617
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,880
Speaker 4: that was just me looking from a space of oh

618
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 4: my god, So now I'm putting my business out there,

619
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 4: which my family said I shouldn't do, and now I'm

620
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 4: getting backlash for it or people are commenting on all

621
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 4: the things.

622
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 3: That are wrong in this set video.

623
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 4: So that was just me learning how to get kind

624
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 4: of tough skin and just not even going to the

625
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 4: comment section half the time now and just being like

626
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 4: it is what it is, y'all can take what you

627
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 4: want from it and leave leave the rest.

628
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've we've spoken already about how we got through that.

629
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: How did you guys get through that? Dealing with the comments?

630
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 6: Uh? Oh, well, with the comments. I think we we

631
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 6: would read them and then cry to each other was

632
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 6: one way with it.

633
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 3: I think she had each other or like.

634
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 6: Sometimes we oh man. I think for Amber especially there,

635
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 6: we got some nasty messages like just like the racism

636
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 6: was just.

637
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 2: Of course because you're an intracial company.

638
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:00,719
Speaker 6: Was yeah for me because like white white people, you know,

639
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 6: date outside their race and they're open minded, and like

640
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 6: black people date outside their race and is like you

641
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 6: hate your own race, you know what I mean?

642
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 2: So I that's very true.

643
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 6: So you would see elements of like, you know, like

644
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 6: white man, you know, white man power type of thing

645
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 6: for you know. And I say that completely ironically, like

646
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 6: they like.

647
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 7: Oh, you're handling all that over here. They're like, you

648
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,239
Speaker 7: black bitch, where where is your man? I'm just like

649
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 7: what I do?

650
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: It is it is a different dynamic because where are

651
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 1: you guys located?

652
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 7: We live in La now, but we're in Chicago for

653
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 7: ten years.

654
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 2: Oh so you lived in la world in Chicago.

655
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: I mean the white people in Atlanta wouldn't have been

656
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 1: as nice to you been I'll be honest with you.

657
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: Doing the motherfuckers is racist and then you see you

658
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 1: with a black woman and they'd have been racist as hell.

659
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: But trust me that so no, no, I got you

660
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 1: go ahead.

661
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 6: I think just like reading those comments and like laughing

662
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 6: at them. Uh. And then at one point we sort

663
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 6: of I just I love trolling people. I was I

664
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 6: have three I just I think it's so much fun.

665
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 6: Like like one time someone sent a comment being like

666
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 6: you you've referenced like Amber dying, like we know that

667
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 6: you're gonna kill her, and like I was like because

668
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 6: I mentioned something about getting life insurance and like I

669
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 6: would pull the plug if needed, because I like, just

670
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 6: like funny and it's to be funny. Yeah, it's and

671
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 6: people that doesn't hit with people. So when I hear that,

672
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 6: I just I double down and I'm like, yeah, and

673
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 6: this is how I would do it if I were

674
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 6: And then and then I'll be like Amber, like how

675
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 6: would you kill me? Yeah?

676
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 7: We taught We talked on our podcast we would killy together.

677
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 4: Yeah.

678
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, But to be very clear, like I love horror,

679
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 6: like I love slasher films. I think this stuff is

680
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 6: just like interesting in aesthetic way, and that doesn't sit well.

681
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 6: It doesn't sit well sometimes with our families as well.

682
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 6: Some of our jokes, like we both grew up churchy,

683
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 6: Like my dad is a hostile pastor and your father

684
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 6: is a deacon. Your mom's very involved in the church.

685
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 7: So when same over here, Yes, so we're talking about

686
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 7: sex on the pot or yeah, stuff like that, they're kind.

687
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 2: Of like same over here, yes, cringe over here.

688
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 6: I think, Like, but then what happens if I take

689
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 6: my mom to Paris and I say, you're in Paris

690
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 6: right now because I talked about Amber's pussy, like you know,

691
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 6: then they're okay with it.

692
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 7: We laugh, We I don't want them.

693
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 2: That's so that's so true to both of our families.

694
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 2: Both of our families very churchy people. I don't know,

695
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 2: I can't I can't do it. I can't do it.

696
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 1: But then when you have a party and you fly

697
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 1: people with places and then then they now family members

698
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 1: are like, can you help me with.

699
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 2: My YouTube channel? Oh? Yeah, now you want to start

700
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 2: a YouTube.

701
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 4: YouTube channel links I had to look at recently. Can

702
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 4: you just give me some feedback and tips on how

703
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 4: to get my subscribers up? I said the same person

704
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 4: that was just like, why are you putting your business

705
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 4: out there on the street?

706
00:31:57,520 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 6: Now?

707
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 3: You want to put your business on the street? Sin

708
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaker 3: that good luck, good lackly.

709
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 7: I also think going back to the comments thing, and

710
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 7: I'm sure you felt this way as well, Devello, I

711
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 7: was like, they probably can't see. So for me, I

712
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 7: was like, I am a trained comedian, So everybody's not

713
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 7: gonna like the joke. Everybody's not gonna like that, or

714
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 7: they might have liked the joke, hated the outfit, hated

715
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 7: the hair, whatever it is. These days, but I have

716
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 7: seen so many content creators forget what they were originally

717
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 7: doing because they're arguing with everybody in the comments. So

718
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 7: I'm like, girl, I used to follow your page because

719
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 7: you did a wig tutorials. Now you you over here

720
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 7: to talk about some you know, user five seven steven

721
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 7: I got time today and I'm like, no, you don't

722
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 7: have time.

723
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 6: You don't have time.

724
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 7: And now this this page that used to be about

725
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 7: hair and protective styles has now become just like attack

726
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 7: of the comment section. Whenever reality, if you get to

727
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 7: a point where you're popular enough, people that are down

728
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 7: for you will attle people in your comment section like

729
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 7: they will do the dirty work for you. You just need

730
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 7: to move on to the next video, to the next idea,

731
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 7: that's the next thing, because you'll forget why you wanted

732
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 7: to present yourself on the Internet.

733
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 1: I have found absolutely no you're you're absolutely right. I

734
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 1: got on before I got into television film.

735
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 2: I was an athlete. I play in the NFL for

736
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 2: four years.

737
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 1: The first thing they tell you is do not watch

738
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 1: sports television because if you go watch sports television or

739
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 1: you're going to be reminded of of whatever mistake the

740
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 1: person watching thinks you made. So for example, and they

741
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 1: tell you this with football all the time, the people

742
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: watching football don't know football. So when they're telling you

743
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 1: how to do your job and you want to argue

744
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 1: with people about how you're supposed to do what you're

745
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 1: a coach to do, you're taking time away from being

746
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: better at your job.

747
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 2: I took the same approach.

748
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 1: When it came to doing TV film, and the same

749
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 1: approach of doing social media.

750
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 2: I told Kadean from the very beginning. Stop reading the comments.

751
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 1: The people who are looking to comment are probably trolls

752
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 1: number one, but probably don't even know what you're trying

753
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 1: to portray. They just want to find something to nitpit

754
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 1: because they have nothing to do. If you spend time

755
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 1: arguing with them, you've taken away from the message you

756
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 1: were trying to portray. Anyway, exactly, get your message across.

757
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 1: Make a video, then make another video, then make another video,

758
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 1: and before you know it, all the trolls on that

759
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 1: one page will be going anyway.

760
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 2: And it has worked like clockwork.

761
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: I don't pay no attention to comments because you know

762
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 1: what's funny, everybody's entitled to make a comment. Who am

763
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 1: I to tell you that you can't comment on my page.

764
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 1: That's the reason why I started a page right to

765
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:33,839
Speaker 1: get social commentary. So if someone don't like my joke,

766
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,839
Speaker 1: or like the video, or like what I'm wearing, you're

767
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: entitled to that opinion. I am mad at you, Like

768
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 1: that's your opinion, I'm still tomorrow.

769
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 7: Now you got the video on the algorithm to gage

770
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 7: that movie engage honey, that that video got a ring, honey,

771
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,319
Speaker 7: because people, I'm sure there are We've made so much

772
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 7: content over the years, so there are people arguing on

773
00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 7: videos from three, four or five years ago. At this point, absolutely,

774
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 7: you couldn't even keep up with every cause it's it's

775
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,799
Speaker 7: and they smell blood in the water too. So if

776
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 7: you try to just comment from one person, they could

777
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 7: be like, ooh, I got Kiddingen's attention, let me now,

778
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 7: now let me They go crazy with it. So if

779
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,520
Speaker 7: there's anybody out there trying to make content, you need

780
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 7: to help with your YouTube page. Just don't respond to

781
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 7: the comments.

782
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 4: That would be my price, just right, and don't start altering, right,

783
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 4: and don't start altering your content to what people are

784
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 4: saying in the comments, because then you're losing the authenticity

785
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 4: of why you even have people follow you to begin with.

786
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I think that was the biggest message when

787
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 1: when you said Amber, is that people will lose sight

788
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 1: of why they got on social media anyway just to

789
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 1: defend one video. Yes, and now I'm no longer here

790
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:42,439
Speaker 1: getting the content on what it is sad to see,

791
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:45,320
Speaker 1: but that's human nature. I watched the same thing. In sports.

792
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: You no longer want to play receiver. Now you want

793
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,399
Speaker 1: to prove that you can be quarterback. Just to prove

794
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 1: that the quarterback threw you the ball wrong in that

795
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: last play. That has nothing to do what happened. But

796
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 1: now you're out here trying to do something that's not

797
00:35:56,400 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: your job description so that you'll have a strong founday.

798
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:01,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, and then you miss.

799
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 7: It out on that money bag. That's that's what you

800
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 7: really don't know, because because I talk to so many creators,

801
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:07,719
Speaker 7: they're like, I haven't had a brand deal of years.

802
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 7: I'm like, girl, you're showing hood fights in Baltimore.

803
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 2: What browd? That's the whole thing.

804
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 7: You're not marketable anymore because you're arguing with people in

805
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:19,360
Speaker 7: every video.

806
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 6: Something that I loved learning as a teacher is going

807
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 6: back when you're like, who's the star of this video?

808
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 6: Was that centering it not around a person, but around

809
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 6: the great thing. So there's this great writer, a great

810
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 6: teacher called The Courage to Teach by Parker Palmer, and

811
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 6: he says people argue teacher centered classroom, student centered classroom. No,

812
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 6: it should be what he calls the great thing. So

813
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 6: if it's mathematics, center everything around mathematics our page. The

814
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 6: great thing is that it's comedy. We want to make

815
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 6: people laugh. And if I am the center of this

816
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 6: video and make people laugh. That's it. It ambers the

817
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 6: center of the video makes people laugh, that's it. If

818
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 6: Wild's the center of the video makes people laugh, that's it.

819
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 6: The center is the comedy. It's not about who's the star.

820
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 6: And same thing about football. The center is not like

821
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 6: it's your job is to learn football, right the center.

822
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,320
Speaker 6: That's the great thing is the football, the playing. I

823
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 6: always find that really helpful in dealing with comments because

824
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 6: it's not about me, it's about what's actually funny. So

825
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 6: I don't know, I go back to that, what is

826
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 6: our great thing?

827
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,359
Speaker 1: No, I think, to be honest, I think I love

828
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 1: first of all what Amber said about focusing on what

829
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 1: you do. But then what Ben said about the great thing.

830
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 1: I love that because that's a that's a different perspective

831
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 1: that we haven't been able to articulate. But it's literally

832
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: what we do. We don't we don't make it about

833
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 1: even one of us. We make it about whatever the

834
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 1: messages in.

835
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 3: The video video.

836
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, but also this is a good time to take

837
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 1: a break because when we come back, we heard y'all

838
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 1: also do listener letters like we do.

839
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:53,200
Speaker 3: Oh do you give advice? We have time we prob

840
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:53,879
Speaker 3: about two of.

841
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 4: Them or one, because this is do you have people

842
00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 4: writing in entire discaar?

843
00:37:59,360 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 7: I mean, this is.

844
00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 3: A memoir, a whole memoir.

845
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,320
Speaker 4: And the thing is it's probably on us because sometimes

846
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 4: they gave us small paragraphs and we're like, we don't

847
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 4: have any context. We can't give you, guys, any hour

848
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 4: two cents because we don't know what you're trying to say.

849
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 3: Well, cut to this dissertation over here.

850
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,839
Speaker 1: What we're gonna do is take a quick break, pay

851
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 1: some bills. I gotta pay some bills, and when we

852
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 1: come back, we're going to jump into this listening letter

853
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 1: because I want to see how y'all would break down this.

854
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, Amber and Ben stick around so we can see

855
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 4: if we can help this person out. All right, All right,

856
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 4: Amber and Bang you're still there.

857
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I get these people. It's getting these people

858
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:48,400
Speaker 3: business real quick, you know, saying.

859
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 2: Let me read this book real quick. Okay.

860
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 1: Hi to Valiant K love you both and have been

861
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,720
Speaker 1: following your journey since Black Love so proud of the growth.

862
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: I'll try to give you the context and quick bullet

863
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 1: points followed by my question. I'm twenty eight, a black

864
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 1: woman with a college degree, no kids, a full time job,

865
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 1: a business that I own, a few side hustles in

866
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 1: my own car. Wow, my boyfriend, you got time for

867
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,399
Speaker 1: a boyfriend with all that. My boyfriend of almost three

868
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 1: years is thirty four, no kids, drives and works a

869
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 1: full time job. We live together in the city that

870
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,200
Speaker 1: he's from. This is my fifth year here, and since

871
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: I moved here solely for work, I don't have actual

872
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:27,600
Speaker 1: friends here, more so colleagues and co workers. Okay, so

873
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 1: here's my dilemma. So we have all the context here

874
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 1: in big capital letters. I have no social life, or

875
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 1: at least that's how it feels most of the time.

876
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 1: My life revolves around my jobs and relationship. My boyfriend

877
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 1: is not as adventurous as I am and is satisfied

878
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,360
Speaker 1: spending his weekends in the house playing video games, whereas

879
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,280
Speaker 1: I'm a bit of a spontaneous free spirit who lives

880
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,399
Speaker 1: by work hard, play hard. He only asked me out

881
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,359
Speaker 1: if it's with his friends, who are great but just

882
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 1: not my kind of people, or family. Even though I'm

883
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 1: expressed to him how important routine date nights are to me,

884
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 1: he often flipped sit back on me to come up

885
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:03,760
Speaker 1: with the day ideas and basically plan it all myself.

886
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 1: I get turned off when he does that because it

887
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 1: just adds extra task to my CVS receipt of my

888
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: CVS receipt of a to do list.

889
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 2: I'm almost just.

890
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 1: I'm also just not used to my partner being my

891
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:20,760
Speaker 1: closest friend within proximity, which sounds pathetic at my big age,

892
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 1: all of my close friends are states away, and I

893
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,839
Speaker 1: really have time funds to visit them as much as

894
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 1: i'd like. You got five jobs and three hustles and

895
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 1: you can't visit your friends.

896
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:32,439
Speaker 2: What kind of side the hustles you got?

897
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 3: She's maybe hustling. She hustling enough, she's busy hustling.

898
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 1: I've tried making new friends, which sucks as an adult

899
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:43,919
Speaker 1: in my opinion, but there's usually an undertone of envy disrespect.

900
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 1: They take advantage of me in some way while personalities

901
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 1: just don't mesh. Well, what advice do you have for

902
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 1: someone in my situation? How can I improve my social

903
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:55,839
Speaker 1: life both in and outside of my relationship?

904
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 2: Thanks? Abut love you both. We love you too. Sorry.

905
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 1: I really tried to make it not too long. M

906
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 1: let me go, let's hear wallins.

907
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's y'all think?

908
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 6: I have opinions? So I'm gonna I'm gonna use a

909
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 6: phrase from a book called The Relationship Cure. It's a

910
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,239
Speaker 6: very helpful book, but in there they use the term

911
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 6: emotional bids. And basically, it's this idea that you put it.

912
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 6: You've been sounds like this woman has been putting a

913
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 6: bid out there, an emotional bid. So I'm bidding, hey,

914
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:28,760
Speaker 6: let's do this thing. And what will happen is someone

915
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 6: doesn't want to hang out with you. They'll be like,

916
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 6: uh yeah, all right, yeah, maybe whatever. They won't give

917
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 6: you a hard time. But if they do like you,

918
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,839
Speaker 6: they'll they'll respond. I can't do this now, but let's

919
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,840
Speaker 6: set a specific day in time later. So based on that,

920
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:46,399
Speaker 6: the man you're with does not like you, like, he

921
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 6: does not like you, he doesn't want to hang out

922
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 6: with you, he doesn't care about you, like, let's be real,

923
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 6: and you've been doing these emotional bids for a while

924
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:55,880
Speaker 6: and he doesn't get he doesn't give a fuck like,

925
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 6: So I think you have to have a really real

926
00:41:58,960 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 6: you have to recoverish it.

927
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 7: No, like you have to give up fund I'm sorry.

928
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:06,360
Speaker 6: It's and the data proves it like emotional bids is

929
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 6: a huge indicator of like lasting friendships and relationships, Like

930
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 6: there's data behind this emotional bid, So you're doing it,

931
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 6: he's not returning. So that's my idea on the romantic relationship.

932
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's emotional.

933
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 7: It's hard because it sounds to me if I listened

934
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:29,879
Speaker 7: correctly that she moved to the city to be with him. Yes,

935
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 7: So if I moved to your city to be with

936
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 7: you and you can't take me down to the cheesecake

937
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 7: factory one night and get off that game, and I've

938
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 7: asked you, I've given ten bids and you've knocked me

939
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,360
Speaker 7: down each time, I might have to start packing boxes

940
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 7: me personally because I gave up friends, my hometown. Maybe

941
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 7: I used to be a block away from my mama.

942
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 7: I did all that to be here with you, just

943
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 7: sitting in the house playing games.

944
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 6: That's wild.

945
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 7: But for the friendship thing, I would definitely recommend I

946
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 7: would write down a list of like five activities that

947
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:01,960
Speaker 7: I to do. Oh, I'm sorry.

948
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 2: Talking about talking about my bad. My bad. I just

949
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:05,879
Speaker 2: wanted to correct you. She didn't move there for him.

950
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 1: She said she moved there solely for work, So I

951
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 1: think she might have moved there for work and met him.

952
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 1: And the only reason why I say that because then

953
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 1: it's not his responsibility to make sure that she has

954
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:17,000
Speaker 1: a social life.

955
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:18,399
Speaker 2: I would agree with the movies is why I cut

956
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,800
Speaker 2: you off. But go ahead, make sure we got that correct.

957
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 7: Yes I misspoke. I would definitely I agree with you.

958
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:28,440
Speaker 7: I think it is not his responsibility to facilitate your

959
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:30,399
Speaker 7: social life. What I would do if I was hurt,

960
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 7: I would write down about three to four hobbies that

961
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 7: I have of things I like to do, and I

962
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 7: would go to those things by myself. I'm a big

963
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:40,240
Speaker 7: yoga girl, so I started going to the yoga studio

964
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 7: by myself, started slowly making friends at the studio, and

965
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 7: then I was up there, one doing something that I

966
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 7: wanted to do physically, and two making friends. So I

967
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 7: think because it was a little strange what she said

968
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 7: in the letter, like any new friends I have, they

969
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 7: start to be jealous of me. I'm not saying that

970
00:43:56,880 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 7: that's not true. But like every new friend you made.

971
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 3: You right, what did they do? Right?

972
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 2: Yo? I two things.

973
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 1: First thing, the emotional big thing makes sense though, Right

974
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 1: if a god likes you and you keep putting out hey,

975
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:13,359
Speaker 1: I would like to do this. How hey, I would

976
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:14,919
Speaker 1: like to do this, and they can never find time

977
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: typically because they're not that into you.

978
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 2: That's that's the truth.

979
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 1: The second thing is she says she got a full

980
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 1: time job, a business she owned, and several hustles, but

981
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 1: she don't got money to travel and see her friends.

982
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:27,319
Speaker 2: That don't make sense to me, because you.

983
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 1: Don't have a bad if you don't have she hustling backwards.

984
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 1: It sounds like she's putting more money into her businesses

985
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 1: than she is putting into her herself.

986
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 4: Right, It's like it's even just based off of what

987
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 4: we read, it's just giving busy work. It looks like

988
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 4: she's running around in circles and she has no clear

989
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:50,399
Speaker 4: like like there's no real actual tasks as they're being

990
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,880
Speaker 4: achieved other than running around in the circles. Because I

991
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 4: just got dizzy even about reading the whole the whole thing.

992
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 7: Right, because she didn't tell you what the business was,

993
00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 7: I was like, what's the business? Because it was a

994
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 7: lot of her what's the business?

995
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 1: She said, a business she owned and several hustles plus

996
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,399
Speaker 1: a full time job. Which one thing I will say

997
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 1: is she a go getter that also tell her about

998
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 1: her personality. When she wants something, she gonna go get it.

999
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: So when she say to her boyfriend, I want to

1000
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: go do this, if you don't want to do it,

1001
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:18,880
Speaker 1: she's gonna be upset.

1002
00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 2: What she really needs to do is find someone who.

1003
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 1: Is just as much of a go getter as she is,

1004
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:25,919
Speaker 1: so she don't got to fight with him on doing

1005
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 1: things she wants to do.

1006
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 2: That would be my advice.

1007
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 7: Yeah, like sign up for a business class, sign up

1008
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,920
Speaker 7: for a new business owners class, and then make some

1009
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 7: friends there. But I've never hung out with a new

1010
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 7: friend and felt jealousy for them or them jealous for me.

1011
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 7: That's the one.

1012
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 3: Like jealousy and envy off the bat.

1013
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, it does make me wonder what kind of energy

1014
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 4: you're giving out there, especially if your people are not

1015
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 4: You know, you can't attract honeywoo a big What do

1016
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 4: you say you can't attract bes with vinegar?

1017
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:56,319
Speaker 7: Yeah?

1018
00:45:56,480 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 1: So girl, first of all, shout out to Triple Triple,

1019
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,279
Speaker 1: talk about you. She learned how to play video games

1020
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 1: because some man played video games. No, she's gonna be

1021
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 1: terrible at the video games and gonna be mad that

1022
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 1: you playing video games with him.

1023
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:16,239
Speaker 2: And you messing up his school break up.

1024
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 6: Anyway, I'm gonna disagree slightly with you. Uh So, recently

1025
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 6: I bought a Nintendo Switch and ambers like, I don't

1026
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 6: play video games. I'm like, we're doing something different tonight

1027
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 6: because I want to spend time with you and video

1028
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 6: games are important artistic endeavors for me. And so I

1029
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 6: was like, I was like, you are going I like

1030
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 6: literally because I like spending time with her. So if

1031
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 6: someone likes I like doing things and I likes people

1032
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 6: that I like to try the things that I like.

1033
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 6: So I forced her to sit down and she played

1034
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 6: Mary Card and at the end she's like, I got you, bitch.

1035
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:53,240
Speaker 6: Like she's like yelling and screaming at me, like jumping

1036
00:46:53,239 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 6: out of the couch.

1037
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:55,759
Speaker 7: And then I was like, Okay, we're gonna order some

1038
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 7: wings after this, give me a little outside.

1039
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:01,719
Speaker 6: Yeah. But that's but that's our relationship as far as

1040
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:04,919
Speaker 6: the go. It sounds your phrase like hustling backwards. It's

1041
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 6: interesting when people are go getters but they're not getting

1042
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 6: you know, like those are like I'm a go getter,

1043
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 6: but you're not getting anything. It's like, are you a

1044
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 6: go getter?

1045
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:16,359
Speaker 2: Like you're just.

1046
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 7: Imagine if this person listened like so anxiously, like yes,

1047
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 7: they finally chose my letter.

1048
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:23,920
Speaker 1: She at the house like, no, no, listen, this is

1049
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:25,399
Speaker 1: now here's the funny part.

1050
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 2: Right.

1051
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 1: When you got two people, well two couples where they

1052
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 1: speak candidly with each other, we're gonna speak candidly with everybody,

1053
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:34,960
Speaker 1: like that's just the bottom line. I'm not going to

1054
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 1: say anything to you that I wouldn't say to my

1055
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 1: wife or wouldn't expect my wife to say to me,

1056
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 1: because I could tell you right now if I told

1057
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 1: Okay that I had a part time job and for

1058
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 1: side hustles, but I ain't had no money, she would

1059
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:47,399
Speaker 1: honestly say to me, nigga, what the.

1060
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:47,879
Speaker 2: Fuck are you doing?

1061
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:53,439
Speaker 1: Come home, come home, recalibrate and figure this out, because

1062
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:54,799
Speaker 1: whatever you're doing is not work.

1063
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 3: It's not working.

1064
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 2: That's what she would say to.

1065
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 4: Feel like people writeing and they feel like we're kind

1066
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 4: of like friends, right, so we have and we're in

1067
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 4: a little friend circle, and this is your friend circle

1068
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 4: girl telling you stop just go get in and just

1069
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 4: go go get and then not just go.

1070
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,880
Speaker 1: Also, also, it is hard to move to a different

1071
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 1: city right and find people like you have to create

1072
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 1: a village that doesn't That's not easy.

1073
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 2: It's not an easy tak Yeah.

1074
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 4: I think that's where Amber's advice comes in, Like go

1075
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 4: to places that you enjoy, doing things that you like,

1076
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,440
Speaker 4: and then you'll find probably like minded people.

1077
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 7: In a sense, you don't you know what probably happened there.

1078
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 7: She probably invited one of them new friends to brush

1079
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,439
Speaker 7: and then try to combine these hustles with the fresh

1080
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 7: and be like girl, you know, I still a seam

1081
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:39,919
Speaker 7: off's girl, and the friend Frid's.

1082
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 4: She don't want to support your business, and now she's

1083
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 4: jealous because she don't want to buy your off.

1084
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:48,279
Speaker 7: I was getting fresh. Tell me if you try to

1085
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 7: sell me off.

1086
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,880
Speaker 6: If there is only like some online website that allows

1087
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 6: you to connect with other people on shared hobbies, I

1088
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 6: don't know, like maybe meet up or like a million

1089
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 6: of other bumbles.

1090
00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:03,399
Speaker 3: For friendships.

1091
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 2: They have that.

1092
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm so glad.

1093
00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:11,919
Speaker 7: That means you haven't been on the apps in a while.

1094
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 7: Good answer, great answer.

1095
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 4: I don't think we've ever been on a dating appeas

1096
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 4: years ago.

1097
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's when we started dating.

1098
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:30,920
Speaker 4: The trenches and he lives to see another day and

1099
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 4: he's still here.

1100
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,439
Speaker 7: Happened and happy to go through it too. You better

1101
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 7: say that period love.

1102
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:37,879
Speaker 2: It wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

1103
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 3: Period.

1104
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:46,879
Speaker 4: What we also loved, though, was having y'all to day

1105
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:50,360
Speaker 4: on the Showy hour.

1106
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 3: Went by so quick. I'm like, oh my god, I can't.

1107
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:53,800
Speaker 2: Believe we're like a No, I can't believe it was

1108
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 2: an hour already.

1109
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 3: Wow, Oh my goodness.

1110
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 4: Well, I want you guys to close out by telling

1111
00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:00,839
Speaker 4: everybody all y'all business, where they can find you, where

1112
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 4: they can follow, where they can tune in, where they

1113
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 4: can listen, give them all the tea because amb we

1114
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:06,919
Speaker 4: had such a great time with y'all today.

1115
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:07,799
Speaker 3: Y'all are hilarious.

1116
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:10,719
Speaker 7: Yay, thank you we did. Good man. You might get

1117
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 7: something tonight.

1118
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,799
Speaker 2: Get something to play card.

1119
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:20,560
Speaker 3: You better go get some period. They got some wings for.

1120
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 7: After yet, right, and I'm not above wings after six,

1121
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 7: so take some up period wings wings, wings. Yes, y'all

1122
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:31,720
Speaker 7: been together.

1123
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 3: Y'all know that we get make it spicy. Literally.

1124
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:39,400
Speaker 1: Oh if I could tell y'all something, I can tell

1125
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 1: you some things that are happening in this house with

1126
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 1: wings and sects.

1127
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:46,799
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, it don't even be me though, Yes,

1128
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 2: it don't even be me. It'd be hurt be.

1129
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 3: Asked with a spice baby, right, what you gotta do?

1130
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 6: Okay?

1131
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:55,919
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, very longer. We need some tips for those

1132
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 7: listen who want a little bit more of us. You

1133
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,480
Speaker 7: can follow me on all social handles, from TikTok to

1134
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 7: Instagram at Burr Underscore I am so b you are

1135
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 7: our underscore I am, and we host Fly on the

1136
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 7: Wiland podcast together. We're actually going on tour soon. Our

1137
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:13,680
Speaker 7: first tour day is going to be in New York

1138
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:16,960
Speaker 7: City on October twenty fifth. So if you're in New

1139
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:19,920
Speaker 7: York for New Jersey or you know in that little circuit,

1140
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 7: you can say all, I'm from the South. If you're

1141
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 7: in Maine area, we'll talk well offline. He's from Long Island.

1142
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 7: If you're in the Tri state area. We will be

1143
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,800
Speaker 7: in New York City at City Winery on October twenty fifth.

1144
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:36,719
Speaker 6: Also we live in.

1145
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,800
Speaker 7: La but Burr I am and Fly on the Wiland.

1146
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 7: Thank y'all so much.

1147
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 6: And I just want to say, as a union, thank

1148
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:43,360
Speaker 6: y'all so much. I just want to.

1149
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,399
Speaker 7: Say, they got four they got four kids. Man.

1150
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 6: As a Union delegate, y'all did an episode on SAG

1151
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,320
Speaker 6: and the importance of unions and honestly like that is

1152
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,400
Speaker 6: amazing work that you're doing. It was funny.

1153
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:57,839
Speaker 2: So thank you so much.

1154
00:51:57,960 --> 00:52:00,360
Speaker 6: No, seriously, like I feel like there's not enough people

1155
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:04,400
Speaker 6: who are giving full context and anybody who wants to

1156
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 6: understand unions in a very like clear direct way not

1157
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 6: too heady and also laugh like you need to listen

1158
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:12,839
Speaker 6: to that episode that y'all did, so thank you.

1159
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 2: So much for I appreciate that.

1160
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,719
Speaker 7: Man Manday listeners know to listen today's show. But but yes,

1161
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 7: thank you so much.

1162
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:19,759
Speaker 4: I know.

1163
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:21,880
Speaker 6: I'm just saying, like, if you missed that.

1164
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:25,280
Speaker 3: One us our flower.

1165
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 7: There to listen to dead Ass podcast, Well, I was

1166
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:33,879
Speaker 7: just very it just warmed my heart.

1167
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 6: It did warm my heart to hear great.

1168
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:40,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, anyway, thank you receive those flowers.

1169
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:40,879
Speaker 2: I love.

1170
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:41,879
Speaker 3: We appreciate y'all.

1171
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 2: Y'all.

1172
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 3: Thank y'all so much for joining us today. You back

1173
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 3: in the future.

1174
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 7: All right, y'all, we're coming back. Thank y'all.

1175
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 3: It's wild for us.

1176
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:54,240
Speaker 4: We will we will all right, take care of y'all.

1177
00:52:56,360 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 4: All right, moment for in Ben today. You know what

1178
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:03,640
Speaker 4: my moment of truth is that Amber and Ben made

1179
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:06,760
Speaker 4: me feel that much more normal in this social social

1180
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:07,440
Speaker 4: media space.

1181
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 3: I know we've been doing it for seven years. It's

1182
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:10,280
Speaker 3: been a while.

1183
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:12,680
Speaker 4: It feels like a long as seven years, and so

1184
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,479
Speaker 4: much has happened, But it's just refreshing to see another

1185
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:18,320
Speaker 4: couple who can laugh at themselves and joke at themselves

1186
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 4: and not take things too seriously andnot be bogged down

1187
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 4: by the weight of the world and everything that's going on,

1188
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 4: and they can just laugh, they can share, they can

1189
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 4: put it out there, and people take what they want

1190
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 4: from it and they leave the rest. It just makes

1191
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:31,920
Speaker 4: me feel like we have like a little group of

1192
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 4: you know, like minded couples who are doing the same

1193
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:38,399
Speaker 4: things for their families and for the culture, for the

1194
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:40,520
Speaker 4: for y'all's viewing pleasure.

1195
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 2: I agree.

1196
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 1: I think there was something that Ben and Amber said

1197
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 1: to me that made the most sense, which'll be my

1198
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 1: moment of truth, is that when you get into this

1199
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 1: business of trying to be a quote unquote example, being

1200
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:55,319
Speaker 1: an example doesn't mean you have to be perfect. Being

1201
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:57,839
Speaker 1: example means I can be exactly who I am, and

1202
00:53:57,880 --> 00:53:59,919
Speaker 1: I can be an example that being who I am

1203
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 1: it's perfectly fine. I love that with all the flaws

1204
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 1: and everything so shout out.

1205
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 4: To whoever's going will support regardless, like y'all, thank you

1206
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 4: so much for listening. I love how when we have

1207
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 4: listener letters too, like yeah, it's always starts with someone

1208
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 4: like giving us our flowers, right, Yes, so we appreciate

1209
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:17,160
Speaker 4: y'all for that.

1210
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:19,040
Speaker 3: We love y'all for it. Thank y'all for listening. We

1211
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,600
Speaker 3: hope you had a great time listening.

1212
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 4: If you want to be a featured listener letter, we'll

1213
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 4: go through all the housekeeping stuff. If you want to

1214
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 4: be featured as a listener letter, continue to write into

1215
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:31,320
Speaker 4: us at dead ass Advice at gmail dot com.

1216
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 2: That's d e A d A d v I c

1217
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 2: E at gmail dot com.

1218
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:39,360
Speaker 3: And be sure to follow us d e.

1219
00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 1: A d A s s A d v i c E.

1220
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:45,400
Speaker 1: I just said dead advice, dead ass advice at Gmail.

1221
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 3: I don't even pick up on it this time. Look

1222
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:47,239
Speaker 3: at that.

1223
00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:50,400
Speaker 4: But also if you, uh, if you haven't yet, be

1224
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:53,360
Speaker 4: sure to subscribe and join us on Patreon, where you

1225
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 4: can get a lot more long form content of the

1226
00:54:55,680 --> 00:55:00,840
Speaker 4: Ellis Family Dead Ass Podcast, exclusive video clips, shoo access

1227
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 4: to tour tickets, all that good stuff you guys are

1228
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 4: gonna get only on Patreon, and then you can follow

1229
00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 4: us on social media at dead Ass the Podcast. My

1230
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:10,400
Speaker 4: page is Kadine I am.

1231
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,759
Speaker 1: And I am Devout and if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,

1232
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:16,160
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review, subscribe, and also get your

1233
00:55:16,239 --> 00:55:18,839
Speaker 1: copy of We Over Meet, The Counterintuitive Approach to doing

1234
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 1: everything you want in your relationship New York Times bestseller.

1235
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:24,440
Speaker 3: Baby Let's Go run it Up, y'all.

1236
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 2: Dead Ass

1237
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and

1238
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 1: it's produced by Donor Opinya and Triple Follow the podcast

1239
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:36,879
Speaker 1: on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and Never

1240
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 1: Miss a Thing