1 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 1: Hey, there are folks, and welcome to I Do Part two. 2 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: And if you got lucky in love the first time around, 3 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 1: this ain't the show for you. I'm CJ. Holme alongside 4 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:28,200 Speaker 1: my partner Amy Robot and Roll. It's difficult. Relationship is 5 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 1: difficult enough, but you have to go through all that 6 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:35,480 Speaker 1: scrutiny and tabloids and constantly being scrutinized for your relationship. 7 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:36,520 Speaker 1: I can't imagine. 8 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 2: What's that? 9 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 3: Like? What like? I wouldn't wish that on anyone. 10 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,879 Speaker 1: I wouldn't But our guest today they've been dealing with 11 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: it for a while, for years, for decade plus. 12 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,199 Speaker 3: Yeah, and they went away for a while, probably to 13 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:53,479 Speaker 3: lick their wounds and to just enjoy some peace and quiet. 14 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 3: But guess what, somehow, some way, they're back for more, 15 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 3: and we need to ask them why, among many other 16 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:05,040 Speaker 3: questions we have for our next two guests, but we 17 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 3: are very excited to have from the Real Housewives of 18 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 3: OC Gretchen Rossi and Slades Smiley Slades and og on 19 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 3: the OC and both of them are back for more. 20 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 3: So welcome. How y'all doing. 21 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 2: Hi guys, Nice to see you. 22 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, great to see you. There's a lot there. She 23 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 4: packed a lot in the door. I know. 24 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 2: I know. You guys ask the question like what are 25 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 2: we thinking? 26 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 5: And we're still asking ourselves what are we thinking? 27 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: So what answer have you come up with so far? 28 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: Why would you put yourself back out there? 29 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:40,399 Speaker 4: There is absolutely no good answer whatsoever. Yeah, NOx, you 30 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 4: have to tell us. 31 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 1: How did it come about? Did they approach you? All 32 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: conversations were happening, you got back in the friend group. 33 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: How did it come about that you all after eleven years? 34 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,920 Speaker 1: I think it was being away from the show end 35 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 1: up back on it. 36 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 2: You know. 37 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 5: I feel like there's always been rumblings and talks and 38 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 5: always kind of like checking in with us and what 39 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 5: our interest is. And for a long time it was 40 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 5: an absolute no, you know, like no interest. We definitely 41 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 5: needed that break. We got scrutinized a lot. But then 42 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 5: this round they called and approached us. And when they called, 43 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 5: I just said I really I actually said no. 44 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 2: And then he's like, well, let's just think about it. 45 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 5: How about don't say no, just think about it, and 46 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 5: then the executives are going to be in town, so 47 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 5: just meet with the executives when they're in town. 48 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:32,960 Speaker 2: And I said, I'll think about it. 49 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,959 Speaker 5: So then he was texting and saying, you know, they're 50 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 5: coming to town, can we schedule it? 51 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 2: So finally I. 52 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 5: Agreed to it, and then I honestly said no three times, 53 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,679 Speaker 5: like they kept making offers and I said no, no, no, 54 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,919 Speaker 5: and then finally they ended up making an offer that 55 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 5: we couldn't refuse and we felt good about. And yeah, 56 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,520 Speaker 5: that's why we decided to finally say yes. I mean, 57 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 5: that's the honest truth. 58 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 4: But there's more too than that. Obviously, you know, she 59 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 4: had an opportunity to go back and do you Ultimate 60 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:00,959 Speaker 4: Girl's Trip. 61 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,640 Speaker 2: Yes, I did do that, so you know that was fine. 62 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 4: We were back working with them. There's other projects that 63 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 4: we had in process with them, and so you know, 64 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,639 Speaker 4: the original request to come back to Housewives full time 65 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,919 Speaker 4: is not just that simple, right, because there's other things 66 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 4: that are happening, other projects in development. So you know, 67 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 4: it wasn't because we just had no desire to be 68 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 4: involved with with Housewives, but it was because there were 69 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 4: so many other things going on. So you know, I 70 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 4: think over the course of several months and in those negotiations, 71 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 4: Gretcha was able to talk through everything. And I said 72 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 4: to her when she finally decided to go back that 73 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 4: if there was a season to go back, this is 74 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 4: probably the right season. She's got long standing relationships with 75 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 4: a lot of the women, some of them are newer, 76 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 4: but she's become close friends and so there's a lot 77 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,680 Speaker 4: of authenticity there, just with either whether it be history 78 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 4: or with that new friendship. And so this this was 79 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 4: the season. I think it made sense. 80 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, there are also long standing rivalries that are 81 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 3: now back in play, and it's we watched for the 82 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 3: drama and there's no shortage of that. We've been catching 83 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 3: up on this season already. So you made the decision, 84 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 3: you said, yes, you're back. Are you glad you made 85 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 3: that decision? Now that you're in the think of it 86 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 3: and we're starting to watch these episodes start to showcase, well, 87 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean short of drama. I mean 88 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 3: there's so much drama, and there's so much surrounding you 89 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 3: and camera so worse. How are you it gets worse? So, 90 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 3: I mean, how does that feel to put yourself back 91 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 3: in the boxing rings, so to speak, on public display? 92 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,040 Speaker 5: You know, I think for me, I've never been afraid 93 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 5: to come on the show and share my life and 94 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 5: share my truth and share who I am. I think 95 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:47,159 Speaker 5: what makes it really difficult is when people are willing 96 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 5: to say and do anything and make up lies about 97 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:51,840 Speaker 5: you and your life. 98 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 2: And sometimes, you know, that part of. 99 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 5: It is really difficult, and that part of it I 100 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,600 Speaker 5: absolutely hate. And you know, you know how they say 101 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:05,279 Speaker 5: like in lawsuits, anybody can file a lawsuit and say 102 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 5: anything they want, you know, and then the world automatically 103 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 5: believes it. And so that's the part of this narrative 104 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 5: that's very difficult is when especially a you know, nemesis 105 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,160 Speaker 5: of yours for so many years, has proven to be 106 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 5: that person where they love to make up lies and 107 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 5: love to make up things about you. It just that 108 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,080 Speaker 5: part of it's hard. And I really really enjoyed the 109 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,919 Speaker 5: season so much. I had such a great relationship with 110 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 5: so many of the girls on the show. As a 111 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 5: matter of fact, it was the most fun I've had 112 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:38,479 Speaker 5: filming that I can remember. Like, I mean, I definitely 113 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 5: had some fun times back when I was filming, but 114 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 5: this was the first time being back with this group where. 115 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 2: It was a different group. It was a different dynamic. 116 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 5: It wasn't a lot of the same old like we 117 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 5: had new you know stuff, going on. Obviously, some of 118 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 5: the past is gonna get brought up because tamer and 119 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 5: I had a lot of stuff that we had to 120 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:56,799 Speaker 5: work through. 121 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,280 Speaker 4: But well, you said something to me was very interesting. 122 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 4: She's like, I may have disagreements with the other girls, 123 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 4: and yes there's conflicts and fights, but I feel like 124 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 4: I'm fighting with my sister. 125 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:06,679 Speaker 1: Yeah. 126 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,600 Speaker 4: Right, we can agree to disagree and everyone can kind 127 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 4: of move on and there's no fracture in really the 128 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 4: friendship of the relationship. It's just when people try to 129 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 4: go too far. But for the most part, you know, 130 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 4: being a witness of her coming back and having experience 131 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:22,840 Speaker 4: what she did, I mean, I think for the most part, 132 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 4: as you said, you had a really. 133 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:27,720 Speaker 3: Good time you did, there was lots of less Sorry 134 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 3: I just heard you say worked through. So you and 135 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 3: Tamra work through some things in the season. It sounded 136 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 3: like it was positive. 137 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 2: Well, no, what I meant was there was a lot 138 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,799 Speaker 2: that we needed to work through. 139 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:46,359 Speaker 5: But somebody obviously doesn't want to go back and address 140 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 5: a lot of those things in the past because my belief, 141 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:52,720 Speaker 5: in my opinion, it reminds people of who she is 142 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 5: and the things that she's done. The thing that I 143 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 5: find ironic is she's running around telling the press and 144 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 5: telling everyone, Oh, Grutchen's stuck in the past, but yet 145 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 5: she's literally going to therapy to discuss her past and 146 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 5: the things that have caused trauma and pain to her. 147 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 4: So why is it okay she uses for her behavior, right? 148 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 5: But why is it okay that she gets to go 149 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 5: and address her past and go talk through that, but 150 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 5: I'm not allowed to do that. 151 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 2: It feels very hypocritical to me. 152 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: Okay, this doesn't feel to me at least. Guys manufactured. 153 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 1: We talk to a lot of reality TV folks over 154 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 1: the years and sometimes they'll flat out tell us, yeah, 155 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 1: we need a villain they had to have bring back. 156 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 1: So it's almost manufactured. And that's part of playing to 157 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: the camera. YouTube. Sound like this is real? YouTube? Sound 158 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 1: like you have some real issues and thinks she has 159 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 1: some real issues. Is this really beyond repair? 160 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 4: You know? 161 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 5: Here's the thing for me, I always say it's never 162 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 5: beyond repair. But I do think that in life there's 163 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 5: a thing called accountability, and I think that in order 164 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 5: for things to be repaired, both parties have to be 165 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 5: willing to take accountability for the pain and the hurt. 166 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 2: And the struggles that they have caused somebody. 167 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 5: And it's not just so like yeah, yeah, okay, I'm sorry, 168 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 5: let's move on because they just want to get done 169 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 5: with it. It's like to really feel hurd and to 170 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 5: really feel you know, recognized of the pain that you 171 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 5: went through. 172 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 2: It takes more than that. 173 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 5: So that's what I was looking for from her, And 174 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 5: did I ultimately get that. You're gonna have to tune 175 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 5: in and see. 176 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 3: All of the negativity and the comments and some of 177 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 3: the things that have been written about you both in 178 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 3: the press with this new season. At any point, has 179 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 3: it affected your relationship? Has it seeped into your relationship 180 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 3: with one another when you're being attacked like that. 181 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 2: I wouldn't say. 182 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,440 Speaker 5: Like, the thing that Slad and I always talk about 183 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 5: is that there's definitely times where the noise is it's 184 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 5: a struggle no matter what, and anyone that says it's 185 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,320 Speaker 5: not is probably lying to you. It's always going to 186 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 5: affect you because you know, nobody wants to hear something 187 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 5: negative about your relationship. If anybody knows you two know that, right, 188 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 5: It's like it's difficult, especially especially when your heart is 189 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,360 Speaker 5: with that person and you love that person. Hearing that 190 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 5: negative feedback is very hard. But at the end of 191 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,080 Speaker 5: the day, the thing about Slayton and I is that 192 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 5: we are so we have such a strong foundation and 193 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 5: we love each other so much that there's nothing out 194 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 5: there that's going to be said that will break us 195 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,080 Speaker 5: because it's the noise, it's their opinion, it's not what 196 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,679 Speaker 5: him and I know about each other and what we 197 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 5: love about each other. And so we when we always 198 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 5: come back to that foundation and we remember why we 199 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 5: love each other, not because of what everyone else is 200 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,560 Speaker 5: telling us, I feel like that's what's kept us together 201 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 5: for sixteen years. 202 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, And and so you're it's not that we don't 203 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 4: have conflict, or it's not that we don't fight, because 204 00:09:56,040 --> 00:10:00,960 Speaker 4: we do, but that conflict almost always stems from outside source. 205 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,959 Speaker 4: And it may be the fact that I'm super affected 206 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 4: by something that was said about me and I'm angry 207 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 4: about it, and she wants me to shut up and 208 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,559 Speaker 4: reminds me why maybe making that common isn't the best 209 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 4: decision for you. So it really it's conflict in that 210 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 4: way where we try to just bring each other back 211 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 4: to center and just remind ourselves of the space we're 212 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:26,200 Speaker 4: in we know the truth, but that's really what it is, 213 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 4: because we do. And I get upset too because I 214 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,199 Speaker 4: see her being affected by something someone has said, right, 215 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,640 Speaker 4: and it upsets her and she's sad and she's angry 216 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 4: about it, and that makes me mad someone attacking my spouse. 217 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 4: So you know, it's almost always, I can say this, truly, 218 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:44,960 Speaker 4: almost always major conflict in our relationship has come from 219 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 4: outside sources or outside circumstances, any conflict that we've ever 220 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 4: had in our relationship internally. And I give her mad 221 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 4: props for this is that we can have an agreement. 222 00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 4: We can either resolve or agree to disagree. But when 223 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,840 Speaker 4: it's solved, it's solved. She has never once since sixteen 224 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 4: years ago. And you remember that time or you said 225 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 4: that nothing ever comes back from the past. When it 226 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 4: is done, it is done. We're smiling and we're going 227 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 4: to lunch fifteen minutes later. 228 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,800 Speaker 1: You know what was your last fight? You guys, remember 229 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 1: what was the last thing you two fight about? Thought about? 230 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 2: Ice cream? 231 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,719 Speaker 4: It was ice cream, wasn't it. As you said, I 232 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 4: ate the last drumstick. 233 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 2: Yes, I was very upset that he ate the last drug? 234 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 5: Was that? 235 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 2: Like I just one of the whole box. 236 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 5: I want a one drumstick, and I couldn't even get 237 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:39,559 Speaker 5: one drumstick. 238 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,079 Speaker 4: Our biggest fights have been I spilled orange juice on 239 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 4: a new purse. Yep, right brand. 240 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 2: We've done that. 241 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:46,200 Speaker 4: She almost divorced. 242 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's silly fights. 243 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,199 Speaker 1: Yeah. Is that a good sign every relationship? Everybody in 244 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 1: your relationship? I would love to answer that question. Is 245 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: it a good sign that you fight over petty stuff? 246 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 1: Or is it bad sign that you fight over small stuff? 247 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 1: Like it doesn't mean you don't have big stuff to 248 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:04,079 Speaker 1: fight about. 249 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 2: Well, you know, I mean, listen again, big stuff again. 250 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 2: There's there's always. 251 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 3: In life. 252 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:15,679 Speaker 2: There's always big stuff. But I guess to us, like. 253 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 5: Like, it's never been so big that it has caused 254 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:22,479 Speaker 5: a wedge in our relationship or a fracture in the relationship. 255 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 5: So I guess to us, it doesn't feel like it 256 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 5: was that big because it's never. 257 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 2: Really led to something. You know, Yeah, more intense between us. 258 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 4: But let me let me tell you one thing that 259 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,000 Speaker 4: my my lovely wife did. Two things. The first was 260 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 4: she has a degree in psychology. She failed to disclose 261 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 4: that when we first started dating. There's non disclosure. She's 262 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,840 Speaker 4: smarter than me, and she knows what's up. She catches everything. 263 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,680 Speaker 4: The other thing she forced me to do, and you 264 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 4: can relate to this, is that when when men typically 265 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,080 Speaker 4: get upset about something of this conflict, what do we do? 266 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 4: We shut down, we want to marinate, I want to 267 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 4: think about it. Right. She has been adamant in our 268 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 4: relationship that she makes me discuss things now and it 269 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 4: drives me nuts. What I've learned, this is for your audience. 270 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,080 Speaker 4: Here's what I learned, and this is the best analogy ever, 271 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 4: is that when you get a splinter, it's best to 272 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 4: pull out the splinter and you find it wasn't that bad. 273 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 4: When you don't pull it out, that splinter gets infected, right, 274 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 4: and that infection can get very serious, to the point 275 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 4: where you end up in the hospital. And what do 276 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,200 Speaker 4: you do. They want to amputate, they want to end 277 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:30,839 Speaker 4: the relationship. 278 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,200 Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you for saying this, because we have 279 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,119 Speaker 3: the same issue. 280 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 4: But I just embraced and it has been a thousand 281 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 4: times better because at the end of the day, the 282 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 4: conflict comes typically from a misunderstanding, and it was never 283 00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 4: as bad as I thought it was. The problem is 284 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 4: that when I go off and marinate. Right, and I 285 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 4: start spinning about things that aren't really so many and 286 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,559 Speaker 4: I may say something I regret. 287 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:57,559 Speaker 2: I'm so guilty. 288 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 4: It's a male characteristic. I'm telling it. 289 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,840 Speaker 3: And you get into your head and you create this narrative, 290 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,440 Speaker 3: and then your enemies and all these things just build up. 291 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 4: You say things you didn't want to say. It's almost 292 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 4: like when you've been wronged in some capacity and you 293 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 4: want to send that skating email. You want to fire back, 294 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 4: and then they go, just sit on it today, just 295 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 4: wait a second, think through it then, and like, you know, 296 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,760 Speaker 4: be more intentful in your response to things. So this guy, 297 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 4: he's like, why do we choose these to see? 298 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 1: I'm still back on your splinter, right, I need to 299 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,560 Speaker 1: go exit. I need to examine the splinter and see 300 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 1: how severe it is. And do I need to get 301 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,520 Speaker 1: tweezers to pull it out? Can I just pull it 302 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,600 Speaker 1: out with my hand? Is it that bad? How deep? 303 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 5: You know? 304 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 1: I want to look at this for a little while, guys, 305 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 1: and not just that's hilarious. 306 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 4: It's always just tweezers, dude, It's just a pair of tweezers. 307 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 2: You don't get it with the Tweezers to begin. 308 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:58,280 Speaker 3: With Slade, I heard you refer to Gretchen as your 309 00:14:58,360 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 3: lovely wife on more. 310 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 1: Than one and today this moment. 311 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 3: Yes, I will say I love the montage that they did. 312 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 3: I think it was episode one this season where all 313 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 3: the people, all the doubters who thought y'all were just 314 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,600 Speaker 3: putting on a spectacle and putting on a show and 315 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 3: playing to the cameras with your engagement. They all thought 316 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 3: you were doomed and full of it. Well, it was 317 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 3: like three or four of them all. They just kind 318 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 3: of showed the divorces that have all happened from all 319 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 3: of those women who were doubting you and doubting the 320 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 3: reality of your relationship. So you haven't officially or technically 321 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 3: gotten married, but you've been together and we're watching you 322 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 3: too now sixteen years into it. It's very impressive. Why 323 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,160 Speaker 3: haven't you gotten married? 324 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,720 Speaker 4: Gosh, how do we answer that? It's a little complicated? 325 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 3: That? 326 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,640 Speaker 4: Well, it is and it isn't. There was definitely the 327 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 4: intense We even had a date on calendar originally the engagement, 328 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 4: and I think we even announced that date on an 329 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 4: episode of Watch What Happens Live. But it turned out 330 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 4: that that date, A ended up falling on a holiday 331 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 4: that was in conflict with some family members, and I 332 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 4: ended up booking a mini series with History Channel, and 333 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 4: so I spent almost a month in Durango, Mexico filming 334 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 4: on that project. So we really postponed, and then when 335 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:17,200 Speaker 4: we came back, we had conversations around also wanting to 336 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,960 Speaker 4: start a family and have a baby, and we kind 337 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 4: of went, well, do we spend the money on IVF 338 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,160 Speaker 4: do we spend it on a big wedding? And we went, 339 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 4: you know what time is of the essence? You are geriatric? Yeah, 340 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 4: I say, called me Jerry to have a baby yet 341 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,880 Speaker 4: time for her age. So we just thought we'd put 342 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 4: the resources into having Skylar Gray and that has been 343 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 4: the biggest blessing in our life, right. 344 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 5: Yeah, And it was. And you know, after I had 345 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,560 Speaker 5: the baby, I had a lot of postpartum depression. I 346 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 5: was what, I felt overweight still, And so it wasn't 347 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 5: until like just this year that him. 348 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 2: And I started talking about again. 349 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 5: We're like, Okay, I feel like now it would be 350 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 5: a good time to like go finally get married. 351 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 2: But here's the thing. 352 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 5: We call each other husband and wife because we have 353 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 5: been together for sixteen years. 354 00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 2: We have a daughter together. 355 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,200 Speaker 5: Everyone views us as if we are married, because we 356 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 5: live our lives as if we're married. So for us, 357 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,520 Speaker 5: it's not We don't even think of it that we're 358 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:09,960 Speaker 5: not married. 359 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,200 Speaker 2: We are, you know what I mean? 360 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 4: In Texas we would be right technically from a law 361 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 4: of state. But yeah, half and half the country I 362 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 4: think we are. 363 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,760 Speaker 1: Does does Skuyler? Does that ever come up with her? 364 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 1: Does she care? One way or another? Think about it? 365 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,480 Speaker 1: Talk about it, y'all. Mommy and daddy all are married 366 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 1: in the house anyway, Yeah. 367 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,160 Speaker 4: Does care? Doesn't care. She'd be thrilled to walk down 368 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:37,880 Speaker 4: the island, toss some flowers in the flower grass. It's awesome. Yeah. 369 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,919 Speaker 3: Is there any part of you that is concerned that 370 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,000 Speaker 3: if you actually did get married it would somehow change 371 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,440 Speaker 3: the relationship at this point? 372 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:46,840 Speaker 4: No? 373 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:47,760 Speaker 2: No, yeah, no. 374 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:53,120 Speaker 4: I think the the thing about our relationship is we've 375 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:57,640 Speaker 4: really been through so much, and again this is something 376 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 4: you can relate to. I think that when people first 377 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 4: start to date, it's easy to go to dinner, go 378 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 4: to the movies, hang out and have all the fun 379 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 4: stuff happen. But it's not until those challenges come along 380 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:11,520 Speaker 4: or difficulties, whether it be someone becoming ill, loss of work, 381 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,400 Speaker 4: financial struggles, whatever, that you start to see the true 382 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:18,160 Speaker 4: characteristics of a person present themselves. Because I think everyone 383 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 4: kind of leads their best foot forward. They're not always 384 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 4: being super authentic in the beginning with the relationship, right 385 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 4: because everyone's protecting themselves. For us, a, we had a 386 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 4: ten year history as friends. We knew each other for 387 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,960 Speaker 4: a very long time. We're at twenty six years now 388 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 4: that we've known each other. 389 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:38,679 Speaker 6: Yeah, it's so cute, kidding, Yeah, I mean I literally 390 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,920 Speaker 6: used to send my girlfriends to stay at her house. 391 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,040 Speaker 6: We were just we've been really really good friends and 392 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 6: when that friendship evolved into a relationship, we were easy. 393 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,679 Speaker 6: Well it was easy on us, but the external circumstances 394 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 6: of loved ones being ill, public scrutiny, all of these 395 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 6: things happened so quickly at the beginning of our relationship. 396 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 6: And what I admire most about Gretchen is that she 397 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:06,000 Speaker 6: doesn't run from adversity. She runs at it. She's that 398 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 6: person that stands by your side no matter what thicker 399 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:08,919 Speaker 6: thin like. 400 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,920 Speaker 4: She is just there. And when you experience that from 401 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,600 Speaker 4: your partner in the best of times, and the worst 402 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,359 Speaker 4: of times, you know that I have mine forever after. 403 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,120 Speaker 4: And we went through so much and that's why we say, 404 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 4: now bring it on. There isn't anything that's going to 405 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 4: separate us. There just isn't. We've been through too much together. 406 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. I love that. 407 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 3: I just you know, yes, And we were nodding our 408 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 3: heads and smiling because yeah, we were friends for eight 409 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:38,400 Speaker 3: years and talked about relationships with each other and all 410 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 3: of that, like without any design for romance in any way. 411 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 3: So we get that. But when you know someone like that, 412 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 3: you're not putting your best date foot forward, You're not 413 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 3: hiding you're crazy because you're just friends and you're not 414 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:54,119 Speaker 3: exactly Yeah, you're not trying to somehow get them to 415 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:57,159 Speaker 3: like you or be attracted to you. You're just actually 416 00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 3: being real. So that's a cool thing. And we've now 417 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:06,439 Speaker 3: said building a relationship from friendship is amazing. It's the 418 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 3: secret sauce to really actually getting through those tough times. 419 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and it makes the most sense now. And 420 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 4: we were giggling. Was it this morning that we had 421 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,560 Speaker 4: we were playing with Sky upstairs and she just kind 422 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,960 Speaker 4: of laid down and she goes, you're my best friend 423 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 4: it was like, yeah. 424 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 5: It is like they legitimately are best friends. We've been 425 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 5: best friends for sixteen years. I have so many people 426 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,880 Speaker 5: that asked me that. And you know, here's the thing 427 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,200 Speaker 5: that's so interesting. You talk about that scene, about the 428 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 5: Karma thing or whatever, and when I said, you know, 429 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,720 Speaker 5: Karma's a bitch whatever, I think, what's so interesting about 430 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,640 Speaker 5: it is there's something to be said that you are 431 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,280 Speaker 5: together because you want to be together, not because you 432 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 5: have to be together. And I say that because you know, 433 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 5: some people that stay in marriages are miserably unhappy and 434 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 5: they feel like they have to stay. 435 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 2: Because of the financial situation or this or that or whatever. 436 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:58,120 Speaker 5: So to me, our relationship and being together sixteen years 437 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 5: because we choose to be is some times even a 438 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,120 Speaker 5: lot louder statement than all these people are, like we're 439 00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:05,600 Speaker 5: married and then they're secretly going but I'm miserable, you 440 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:13,640 Speaker 5: know what I mean. So so we're nice to have 441 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 5: a very you know, your best friend where you wake 442 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:19,719 Speaker 5: up excited and I choose every day to be with 443 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 5: this man. 444 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 2: And him with me, and that is a great feeling. 445 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 4: Now what what she did do, which was quite creative, 446 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:27,359 Speaker 4: I do believe I had to sign a long term lease. 447 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 2: Yes, I did do that in that lease. 448 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,200 Speaker 4: If you don't so if you don't keep up the vehicle, 449 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 4: if you don't maintain yourself, she could train me in 450 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,320 Speaker 4: further model should she choose at the end of that lease. 451 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:44,440 Speaker 7: So that was her way back Housewives Day and I said, 452 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,280 Speaker 7: I said, I think everybody should be on a lease 453 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 7: because then that way people will keep up with like 454 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:52,320 Speaker 7: making themselves, dating people, and like really like. 455 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:53,120 Speaker 2: Treating people well. 456 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,199 Speaker 5: I think sometimes you get in this marriage and everything 457 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 5: just comes complacent. 458 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,640 Speaker 4: Because you get lazy. But if you're under a lease. 459 00:21:58,480 --> 00:21:59,919 Speaker 5: If you're under a lease and I can trade you, 460 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,040 Speaker 5: I'm doing it, you might not act up as much. 461 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,359 Speaker 1: I have had that advice given to me several times 462 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,040 Speaker 1: in my life about lease and then you have an 463 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 1: option to buy at the end of that least is 464 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 1: how they said it to me. 465 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,199 Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure I came home and it was like 466 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:21,000 Speaker 4: a modified automotive lease that. 467 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:21,480 Speaker 2: Were in there. 468 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 4: She wanted to kick the tires. It was all kinds 469 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 4: of stuff. 470 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,960 Speaker 1: We want to ask you about a few I guess 471 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,880 Speaker 1: relationship trends these days and get your thoughts on it. 472 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 1: One has to do with something you all already did, 473 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 1: the woman proposing, and then a couple of things couples 474 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 1: in separate bedrooms, separate bathroom, separate homes. Even let's go 475 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,359 Speaker 1: to the engagement thing first, okay, right, and we'll do 476 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,639 Speaker 1: the others, take them one at a time. What do 477 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,640 Speaker 1: you all think it worked for you all? But generally speaking, 478 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:59,479 Speaker 1: the idea of a woman proposing to a man, is 479 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:00,920 Speaker 1: that not for everybody? 480 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 4: Well? This is all you. 481 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, No, I definitely think it's not for everybody. I 482 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 5: think our circumstance was very different. Slade had, you know, 483 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,879 Speaker 5: wanted to propose, He was planned on proposing several times, 484 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 5: and I had my own hang ups and issues from 485 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:18,879 Speaker 5: my first marriage, and so I feel like when I 486 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,159 Speaker 5: finally decided to do it, it was my way of 487 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 5: saying to him, has nothing to do with you. 488 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:23,879 Speaker 2: It was me. 489 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,480 Speaker 5: I was just in my own head and I wanted 490 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,040 Speaker 5: just to show him how much I loved him and 491 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,919 Speaker 5: how much I was willing to take that next step. 492 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:34,560 Speaker 5: So our situation is very different than the traditional you know, dating, 493 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 5: fall in love, and then typically the man asked the woman, which. 494 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,640 Speaker 2: I still think is such a beautiful thing. 495 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:44,040 Speaker 5: But I also think that it also empowers women to 496 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,639 Speaker 5: let them know that, like, it doesn't always have to 497 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,800 Speaker 5: be what tradition is. It doesn't it for it to 498 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 5: work or for it to be perfect. And the example 499 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 5: is how long we've been together, not married. It's like 500 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,520 Speaker 5: we're legally married, I should say. You know, it's like 501 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 5: you don't have to do it the way everybody else 502 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 5: is doing it for it to work. 503 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:03,960 Speaker 2: You have to do what's right for you and what's 504 00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 2: in your heart. 505 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 4: Sure, And Gretchen's a very modern housewife, and I think 506 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,600 Speaker 4: that for us, the I think was it twice twice 507 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 4: or three times that I was preparing proposals and you 508 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 4: kind of found out kind of pooh pooed. But for us, 509 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,879 Speaker 4: Gretchen's no was not necessarily no, it was just not 510 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 4: now yeah. And maybe that's the difference. I think some 511 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:28,000 Speaker 4: men go to propose, she says no, they feel rejected, 512 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,639 Speaker 4: relationship falls apart, and I just knew with her it 513 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,240 Speaker 4: just it was it was not now. Yeah. 514 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 3: You know, that's very cool, that's very cool. What about 515 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 3: separate bedrooms or even separate beds? What do you all 516 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:42,800 Speaker 3: think about that? 517 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,800 Speaker 5: So we're going through a sleep divorce right now. 518 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,159 Speaker 4: For a couple of different reasons. 519 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,240 Speaker 7: Yes, yes, but this guy decided, well we we shouldn't 520 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 7: talk about the bed, but he decided to get a 521 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,280 Speaker 7: bed that I just don't like and I'm very uncomfortable. 522 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,119 Speaker 2: And then he got uncomfortable in it too. 523 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:04,640 Speaker 5: But he snores so bad that finally I kicked him 524 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 5: out of the bed and so he has to sleep 525 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,960 Speaker 5: on the couch. Now, this poor guy, and I feel 526 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:10,400 Speaker 5: like you have. 527 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,199 Speaker 2: To go get like one of those machines that you 528 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:12,960 Speaker 2: put on your face. 529 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,000 Speaker 4: Yes, I don't, he helps to. 530 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,920 Speaker 2: It's so bad, you guys, like we have tried everything. 531 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,399 Speaker 5: I have to kick him on hunt, you know all 532 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,919 Speaker 5: those means on Instagram where it's like how do you 533 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 5: sleep last night? 534 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,240 Speaker 2: Honey? And it's like the seal. 535 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 5: Going home, you know, like the whole thing, this torture. 536 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,120 Speaker 5: So right now we're in a sleep divorce. I sleep 537 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:33,440 Speaker 5: on the stairs and he sleeps on the couch. 538 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,399 Speaker 4: Fart because I'm getting up early and was wanting to 539 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 4: go work out what's going and you don't want to 540 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 4: be woke up. 541 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 1: Okay, guys, that cannot be sustainable. How long has it 542 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,159 Speaker 1: been going on and what is going to be the solution? 543 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:52,199 Speaker 5: Okay, so it's been at least six seven months. I 544 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 5: actually get really. 545 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,880 Speaker 3: Sad at night, feels like do you miss him? 546 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:56,160 Speaker 2: I miss him? 547 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,240 Speaker 5: And we are the type of people where we go 548 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 5: to bed like touching something, like our feet are touching, 549 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 5: our hands are folding, we're cuddled something, and so like, 550 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,399 Speaker 5: I absolutely hate it, but I really hate more that 551 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,240 Speaker 5: right as I start to doze off, like right there, 552 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,960 Speaker 5: he's just like start snoring. I'm like, I'm going to 553 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,879 Speaker 5: kill him. I'm literally going to kill him. So I'm like, 554 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,119 Speaker 5: I just we're just couldn't do it. But so we 555 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 5: have two solutions. We're going to get a new mattress, 556 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,119 Speaker 5: which is gonna hopefully help, and then I'm going to 557 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,439 Speaker 5: send them You're going to the sleep place. 558 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,120 Speaker 4: Why you want to send me to a sleep institute? 559 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 1: Yeah? 560 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 2: There for a week, that place. 561 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:31,800 Speaker 4: I would love them. 562 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 5: Actually say, it's really bad for your health when you're snoring, 563 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 5: because sometimes it cuts off. 564 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 2: Your air bapany, yeah, like oxygen to your brain. This 565 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:43,119 Speaker 2: is for your health. 566 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:46,200 Speaker 4: Because I'm blocking listen here, Sally, it's not affecting my brain. 567 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 4: I'm fine. 568 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,720 Speaker 3: How about separate bathrooms. 569 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,760 Speaker 2: I'm not weird about that. I know people are weird 570 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:56,200 Speaker 2: about that. 571 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,000 Speaker 5: I mean, listen, if I was like, you know, uber 572 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 5: uber rich and we can build a house that had 573 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,240 Speaker 5: two separate toilets or bathrooms or whatever. 574 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,640 Speaker 2: Cool, But like, I'm not weird about it. 575 00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, we we pretty much use every bathroom in the house. Right. 576 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 3: And then there are the people who actually live apart 577 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 3: and say this makes their marriage last forever. What do 578 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:18,439 Speaker 3: you think about that? 579 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 5: I saw a girl on Instagram just talk about her 580 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,159 Speaker 5: husband like lives next door, and she was like, I 581 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,439 Speaker 5: love it because I get my my quiet time. I 582 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,720 Speaker 5: get this, And I'm like, absolutely not. We would never 583 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 5: be able to do. 584 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:32,680 Speaker 4: We're very codependent. 585 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:34,920 Speaker 5: Like he goes to the grocery store and I'm texting 586 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,320 Speaker 5: him I miss him. 587 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 2: I'm like, we've been talking. You look at these again, 588 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:41,320 Speaker 2: the same thing. 589 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,840 Speaker 1: We feel better, we feel we feel seen now. 590 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, we're absolutely codependent as well, and we feel 591 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 3: a little bit bad about it. Like this can't be healthy, right, 592 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 3: I mean, it just can't be. Like when we deserve 593 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 3: a port for like an hour, like I miss you, 594 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,399 Speaker 3: I miss you, And you know. 595 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,639 Speaker 5: What's even what's even better is it gets more like that, 596 00:27:59,680 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 5: Like the. 597 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,040 Speaker 2: The more you fall in love the longer you're together. 598 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,560 Speaker 5: I mean, if it's if it's the real deal for us, 599 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,919 Speaker 5: it just has gotten more, Like I fall more in 600 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 5: love with him, and I you know, I don't know, 601 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,120 Speaker 5: it just gets better with time for us. 602 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,800 Speaker 3: When did you know you just said it's the when 603 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,119 Speaker 3: it's the real deal. When did you know like you 604 00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:21,280 Speaker 3: can hope, you can want it to be. When did 605 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,480 Speaker 3: you know how many months years into your relationship did 606 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 3: you say we ain't ever going to break up? 607 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:29,080 Speaker 2: Four days? 608 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:29,639 Speaker 4: Four days? 609 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,960 Speaker 1: Why did you all both know it was four days? 610 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 2: Hey, we'll tell you. 611 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,800 Speaker 5: Like we said, we had known each other for ten years. 612 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 5: We've been really good friends. His girlfriends were coming to 613 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 5: stay at my house. Yeah, I was helping him deal 614 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 5: with some of his issues. He was helping me with 615 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 5: mine and I after my late fiance passed away, Jeff, 616 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,040 Speaker 5: he was calling me all the time to check on 617 00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:52,720 Speaker 5: me and just see how he's doing because his son 618 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,959 Speaker 5: had suffered from cancer and so he knew kind of 619 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,400 Speaker 5: just all of those emotions around it, and so he 620 00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 5: was checking on me all the time. And about I 621 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 5: think it was eight or nine months later, I was 622 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 5: going into a business meeting and as I was going 623 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 5: into this, it was with some men, and I just 624 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:09,640 Speaker 5: felt still very vulnerable, and I was like, you know what, 625 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,000 Speaker 5: I'm gonna call my friend and say, can you be 626 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 5: there as a male presence to help me in this 627 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,160 Speaker 5: meeting in case I can't articulate what I want to 628 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,200 Speaker 5: do or whatever. 629 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:18,520 Speaker 2: And so he said, of course. 630 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 5: So he drives down to the OC and he comes 631 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:22,960 Speaker 5: to this business meeting. He walks in through the door 632 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,960 Speaker 5: and I was like, huh. I'm like, I don't remember 633 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 5: remember beading this cute like it's all about timing in life, right, 634 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,760 Speaker 5: And he walked through and it's like I saw him 635 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 5: through this different lens and I just was like wow, 636 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:39,920 Speaker 5: like I just don't ever remember feeling like this googly 637 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 5: about him. And we instantly both had that like it 638 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,959 Speaker 5: was just there and and I don't know if it's 639 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 5: because over these you know, eight months we've been talking 640 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,840 Speaker 5: and he'd call me and be like, I feel like 641 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 5: I have to date five girls to meet the one 642 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,160 Speaker 5: that I want or get the one that I want 643 00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 5: all this, and so then we I I know, And 644 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,520 Speaker 5: so then as we were arrive, so four days later, 645 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 5: he had to go to Vegas, to meet his dad, 646 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 5: and as we were driving to he asked me to 647 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:06,280 Speaker 5: go with him. 648 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:08,120 Speaker 2: And as we're driving. 649 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:11,120 Speaker 5: To Vegas, we talked the entire way out there with 650 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 5: no radio on nothing, and then we had the best 651 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,760 Speaker 5: time in Vegas. And then on the way home, we 652 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 5: drove all the way home four hours with no radio, nothing, 653 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,320 Speaker 5: and both him and I. A month later, when he 654 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,520 Speaker 5: finally said he loved me, we both said to each 655 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,880 Speaker 5: other that on that drive home, we both felt. 656 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,280 Speaker 4: Like we find to say it, like. 657 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,120 Speaker 5: I'm in love with you, I know it, and my 658 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,200 Speaker 5: soul like and but we both were like. 659 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 2: That is too soon. 660 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 4: She was kind of weird, it's a little too soon. 661 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 2: But we both just knew on that drive that we 662 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 2: were going to be together. 663 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,200 Speaker 5: And I knew he was going to be the father 664 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 5: of my children, like something in my soul just knew it. 665 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 2: It was wild. 666 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,720 Speaker 1: You guys, this is really cool. Look, we're gonna have 667 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: to leave it there. We really hope we get a 668 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,520 Speaker 1: chance to spend some more time with you all. We 669 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,240 Speaker 1: were around a lot of couples, and we interview a 670 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,640 Speaker 1: lot of couples and all this, but we we really 671 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:02,960 Speaker 1: believe we don't think you all are faking it, and 672 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,800 Speaker 1: we're looking at you all and talking to you and 673 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,040 Speaker 1: even hearing some of the stories are familiar to us, 674 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 1: and you all just seem to have a good thing going. 675 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 1: So congratulations on the sixteen years and continuing on and 676 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 1: good luck with the show. Thank you, thank you. 677 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 4: We'll look you up the next time we're on the 678 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:19,960 Speaker 4: East coast. 679 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:20,600 Speaker 2: Yes for sure. 680 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,720 Speaker 5: And we wish you guys luck with everything in your 681 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:23,520 Speaker 5: relationship too. 682 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:24,760 Speaker 2: I know you guys have been through a lot. 683 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 1: Yes, my wife and I appreciate that as well. All right, guy, 684 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 1: thank you all so much. We want to remind our 685 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,280 Speaker 1: listeners here if you are navigating a new relationship after 686 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,040 Speaker 1: loss of divorce and need some advice, you can call 687 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,240 Speaker 1: us or email us. All the info is in the show. 688 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,480 Speaker 3: Yes, follow us on social make sure to rate and 689 00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,440 Speaker 3: review the podcast. I do part two on iHeart Radio podcast. 690 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,080 Speaker 3: We're falling in love is the main objective, and it's 691 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,440 Speaker 3: so nice to talk to people who are staying in love.