WEBVTT - You've Got Decisions: This White Guy Kept Me On Read? 0:00:01.400 --> 0:00:02.720 So we had a nice day. We went off with 0:00:02.720 --> 0:00:05.120 my home Quila, my homegirl Quila and her husband. It 0:00:05.160 --> 0:00:08.239 was his birthday. I recently lost a bunch of weight 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:11.639 from doing a bunch of unhealthy shit, taking these crazy 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:14.200 pills from a gas station, that's what he called them. 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:16.040 But it's really a health food store. But it's not English, 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:17.520 but it's a health food store. This next day, beauty 0:00:17.520 --> 0:00:20.040 splast store on Pico and it's got Chinese letters on it. 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:21.200 I don't know it's in it, but it makes you 0:00:21.239 --> 0:00:24.320 not eat food. So he wasn't really happy with that 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:27.080 and was like, I want you to get healthier habits. 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:30.040 So whatever, I lost a wife. So we're on the 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:33.920 couch watching Hunting Wives and I go get popcorn and 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:36.080 raisin ets and I bring it back and I said 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:41.559 do you want some? And he looked at me like no. 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:46.080 It kept watching TV. I was like, oh, you want 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:49.480 food or something? No, Kila, I don't need to eat 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:52.640 right now, mind you. I know why he said it 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:55.880 like that, because we just had sugarfish. I don't need 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:59.160 to eat right now. Really gives you need to eat 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:01.920 right now? So I'm like, hold on, Stott falls the screen. 0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:05.000 I'm like what the fuck is that. It's like nothing, 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:08.880 you feel judged. I'm not judging you. I said, how 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:10.920 do you know I feel judge if you wasn't judging me, nigga. 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:14.039 I was like, at the end of the day, we 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:16.640 all know that I gained weight because the birth control 0:01:16.680 --> 0:01:18.480 is making me eat everything, and I was craving everything. 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:19.959 But I'm not gonna be in this place with you 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:23.319 where I'm uncomfortable to eat a fucking snack. I fucking 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:25.720 worked out this morning, Like I can't have popcorn now. 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:28.119 He's like, you want to make the choices you want 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:30.520 to make, but you basically feel like you need me 0:01:30.600 --> 0:01:32.880 to indulge, and I'm not gonna indulge with you. Every 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:35.399 time you need to have a snack, I don't need 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:38.000 to eat. We just ate. You want to have popcorn? 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:40.880 Feel free? I was like, Nah, the way that you're 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:42.440 talking to me is like you need to be this 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:44.880 accountability person for me. I don't need you to be accountable. 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:47.840 I'm my own person. This is my body. He goes, 0:01:49.120 --> 0:01:52.120 that's my body too. We're talking about having a baby. 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:55.480 We're gonna be together forever. Your body's my body. If 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:58.000 I was sitting here chain smoking cigarettes and doing crazy shit. 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:00.680 Wouldn't you be telling me don't put certain things in 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:02.600 my body? And now I'm like, so I can't put 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:06.120 popcorn in my body. He's like, I'm not saying it's popcorn, 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:08.560 but if you want to choose to eat late and 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:11.720 do certain things, I'm gonna make sure to always hold 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:13.320 you accountable when this is the stuff you said you 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:15.120 don't want to do. So then we got into this 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:17.480 thing of nigga. I don't need you to keep me accountable. 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:19.320 Check the fuck up. He's like, I'm not gonna shut 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:21.240 the fuck up when two months ago you were depressed 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:23.280 talking about, oh my god, I hate myself. No, I'm 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:24.919 gonna make sure you stay on point because now you're 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:26.720 in this place of loving yourself again. So that made 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:28.440 me feel bad because I'm like, I always love myself. 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:30.080 I've always been a bad bag teme when I little 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:33.520 twenty pounds on it. So then we start arguing, We 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:35.840 start arguing, We start arguing, and you know he's very quiet, 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:39.560 is he not? Yes, I never heard this media very quiet. 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:42.919 So he's sitting there and I'm eating the vopera and he goes, 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:46.480 you know what I think you want? I think you 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:48.840 would like him. Man who just says yes, I think 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:52.280 you want to yesk me? Oh I lost it. Don't 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:54.440 tell me what type of nigga I need. Nigga? Who 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:56.359 the fuck you need? Now you want to bitch who 0:02:56.400 --> 0:02:59.080 don't eat? That's what you want? Okay, go to one 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:00.200 of my house and I don't need you to me 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:01.680 what I need because I got you. So what the 0:03:01.680 --> 0:03:04.040 fuck you gonna do? Fuck you? So now I'm mad. 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:05.560 So now I get up. And now you know when 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:07.320 they start laughing when you get mad, and that's that 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:12.040 really puts me off. So that's what I do. You 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:14.800 already know that's my ship. I'm like, oh you about 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:16.920 to I'm about to whoop his ass. So I go 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:19.680 in the kitchen, I start washing dishes. I'm doing something 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:22.760 else and he gets in the cabinet. Now he's going 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:25.239 through the cabinet. Now there's vitamins and shit in there, 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:29.600 advil whatever in some of my stuff. And he said, 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:32.280 I said, what do you want. I'm just looking for 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:35.280 those pills that you need to calm you down. Whoa, 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:44.280 I just fighting words. Whoa, that's crazy, I said, excuse me, Yeah, 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:46.880 that's that's what I need. I don't know what it's called, 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:52.120 because you know, xanax is also like stuff anyway, So 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:54.080 I wanted to get mad, but then I started laughing 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:57.080 because I was like, oh, you really think he funny? 0:03:57.680 --> 0:03:59.840 I start laughing. He started laughing. Now you're going to 0:03:59.840 --> 0:04:04.320 ca I go sit on the couch. Offcorn's still there 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:07.480 and his boxers are on his legs open, so I 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.480 see the tip of the dick. So I was like, okay, 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:14.120 let me suck it, let's make up. I put my 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:18.559 hand towards this dick. He goes, I'm good. Actually, what 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:22.080 you you fucking ho nigga? We fuck all the time, 0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:24.359 four times a day, and he's out the house, and 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:25.840 now you don't want to go pussy, I say, so 0:04:25.880 --> 0:04:27.400 now you don't want to fuck me? He said. I 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:32.239 just realized we are in this relationship because I've changed 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:35.400 my eating habits for you. I was vegan, I didn't 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:37.720 even red meat. I never ate this fry shit all 0:04:37.760 --> 0:04:42.040 the time, and so basically, if I never changed that, 0:04:42.400 --> 0:04:44.560 we wouldn't be together. So now I'm trying to go 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:47.320 back into healthy shit and you won't let me. So 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:50.360 what the fuck? I'm like, Okay, So now you want 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:51.400 to tell me you want to go be with a 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:53.559 bitch who being a go be the bigger badge ass. 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:55.479 So now I'm mad. He's like, I'm not saying that. 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:58.040 I'm just saying that I've changed something for you, and 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:01.159 you don't want to change anything. To change anything, I 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:02.960 didn't eat fucking popcorn, you don't need to eat it. 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:05.200 He's like, that's not true. If I started this relationship 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:07.560 and I was actually raw plant based vegan like I was, 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:09.720 we would never be together because of the way you 0:05:09.760 --> 0:05:13.080 like to eat. I'm just telling you I've made changes. 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:14.880 I'm like, so basically telling me I need to change. 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:16.640 So I'm like, you know what, you're kissing me off. 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:19.000 So Gila's husband because it was his birthday that night 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:21.400 going to the strip club. So I hit the group 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:22.760 chat with all four of us. I'm like, hey, we're 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:24.120 all going to go off drinks. That was the hour 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:26.280 when he was a fighting. I was like, let's go 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:29.800 to Davala. He's like, I'm going with the boys. So 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:31.279 he used to asking Mammy, oh you want to come. 0:05:32.120 --> 0:05:33.919 I was like, you know what, because we don't argue 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:35.359 and kick each other out or do any of that. 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:37.240 I was like, I think you should go to the 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:39.559 strip club with nag go I have a good time, 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:43.200 so we could have a little space. Now, I was 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:44.920 flying to LA the next day because this is only 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:47.760 a few days ago. So he started getting dressed and 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:49.040 then I got out the shower and I was like, 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:54.880 I can't believe you. What is wrong with everything? Ruh? 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:58.599 I could it's crazy. I want you to go, but 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:02.760 I also just feel like I'm mad because we were 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:05.919 supposed to have a fucking date night. But you ain't shit, brun, 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:10.280 You're crazy. I know this is every story. Wait crazy, 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:12.159 So now you're looking at me. I'm not saying that 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:14.080 you shouldn't go to strip club. It's just said I 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:16.960 wanted to go out, and I'm like, really mad because 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:20.600 this is all a bullshit fight and now you're going 0:06:20.600 --> 0:06:22.280 to strip club. Well, I'm gonna get at home reading 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:24.960 a fucking book. So he's looking at me like I 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:26.599 don't know what to do. So I called for yall 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:28.200 to choose out one her gay friends. I'm like, where 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:29.960 are you at. She's like, oh, now, we're just rent 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:32.400 the house. I'm like, let's go out, and the like 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:35.080 we're in bad right now. Hang up on his bitch, 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:38.000 I get my book. I'm sitting near with Nina. Now 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:40.000 this nigga getting up and he's putting on his good 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:42.279 little fit too, the fucking tabbies and shit and his 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:44.719 little fucking shit fuck you. So he comes over to 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:47.400 give me a kiss and I'm like, oh whatever. So 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:49.640 he's gone for thirty minutes. They won't text each other. 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:51.880 I love you. I'm like, all right, we're gonna make it. 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:57.320 He comes home and it wasn't lately, but whatever time 0:06:57.360 --> 0:06:59.719 it was, he won a fuck and I'm just like, no, 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:07.799 runna fight and sleep nigga. You whoa? So then brouh. 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:12.000 When I heard this the first time, I was just like, 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:15.040 you know what, I can't even say that. That's why 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:16.840 I'm not saying nothing now. I'm gonna let the audience 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:21.240 make all the faces warm. But bro, what what you 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:23.920 dead ass? I was not supposed to suck him at 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:26.320 five in the morning when I was sleeping. Nigga. All 0:07:26.360 --> 0:07:27.840 the ship leading up to that is. 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:32.440 Ship was all you like you say, an argument, there's 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.080 like two sides and like one person's little. 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:38.920 I will tell you this whole ship was just well, 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:40.720 I will tell you why I react this way. He 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:44.320 ain't doing a single thing. He's a single thing, did 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:46.400 he not? Why are you laughing at me because I'm 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:49.560 getting food out? You gotta remember, bro, I just lost 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:51.680 this weight. But if he's just also, as a partner 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:54.560 dealt with someone who was depressed because they were overweight, 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:57.320 there's a thing to where. Okay, well, you finally are 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.880 in a good place. Now I can see where. I 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:02.280 don't want you to be depressed because you feel overweighted. 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:05.120 That of course is why he's doing that, and I 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.080 understand that, but I can't get to a place where 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:10.560 I start hiding through from you feeling judged and feeling 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:10.920 like shit. 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:11.880 He ain't say nothing. 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:15.000 He gave you a little eye roll. And he also said, 0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:17.080 I don't want the popcorn with you. You eat it, 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:18.640 but I don't want to eat just cause you'll get 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:21.560 You felt the way right, But I made it. Anyone's 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:27.760 taking into account that if someone's watching food habits like 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:30.280 that's gonna start a weird thing in my head. First 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:33.199 of all, I already did someone healthy shit to get here. Okay, 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:36.280 if we're gonna be honest about it, being in a 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:40.520 place where you're feeling guilty about food and I'm now 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:43.360 like Bro, I'm working out a lot, a lot. I'm 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:45.400 really trying my best to not only maintain the weight, 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:48.720 but cut up like I've never taken creatine and macros 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:50.200 did all this shit counted things before I got a 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:52.920 food scale. One would think it's cut for cocaine. It's not. 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:56.080 It's for food in my house, and you can got 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.120 You've got to understand what it's like because you were 0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:02.280 dating a vegan and she changed. So imagine if it's 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:04.440 like you started looking at her different and she started 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:06.000 looking at you like it doesn't feel good. 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:09.199 Yeah, but he didn't say anything to make you change. 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:14.240 He just said, Hey, I'm just I don't want incorn. 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:15.680 But the look and the whole thing of I mean, 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:17.400 you guys could take it hot you want. But I 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:21.040 don't believe he wasn't he was judging me about the food. 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:23.920 But he's it's more it's coming from a place like, hey, 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:29.080 I'm disappointed that you're making choosing to do things that 0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:31.200 you know is going to make you feel bad. 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:34.120 Oh, that's actually what really hurts my feelings the most. 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:37.160 I'm allowed to have balance and indulge. 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:38.239 And he's allowed to feel disappointed. 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:41.840 No, he's not. All I do is have popcorn watching 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:42.719 a movie with you. 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:45.400 But everything if you just it wasn't like I was 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:49.400 just a food and now you're about to consume food 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:51.760 that has no nutritional So when you go to dinner. 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:54.160 In a movie, do you not get popcorn after the dinner? 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:56.319 What's wrong with me having podcast? 0:09:56.800 --> 0:09:58.280 I personally usually don't. 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:01.120 So like I'm dead as nothing. I really don't think 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:04.280 there's anything wrong with having a snack or indulging in 0:10:04.360 --> 0:10:07.360 something as long as you're living and eating healthy. So 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:10.480 to me, now that like, mind you for the last 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:13.200 two months while losing the weight, but I've completely changed 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:15.680 my diet like I did intereven in basting, I only 0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:18.320 ate between eleven to seven, like it was really really hard. 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:21.720 Okay and not even So he has two options. He 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:25.320 can either just ignore you making what in his eyes 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:27.199 is a bad decision, and I think you would agree 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:29.480 would be a bad yeah food decision. 0:10:29.640 --> 0:10:32.559 No, actually no, So that's that is where the lenk. 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:35.320 That's where the wires are crossing in the argument. I 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:38.160 don't think having popcorn is bad now that I'm at 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:39.040 a healthier. 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:39.560 Pan and raisin ets. 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:41.400 No, I think I don't care if I had a 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:44.199 fucking slice of pizza, but that I think you're allowed 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:46.760 to have balance. It's like, so, then why not judge 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:49.439 somebody for drinking alcohol late at night? You just got 0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:52.719 a little taste of the Horrible Decisions patreons. But why 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:55.839 it's that there? Tap in for the full, uncut and 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:59.640 way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to patreon dot 0:10:59.679 --> 0:11:04.360 com Backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messyt wild 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:09.400 stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. And 0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:13.000 now here's You've Got Decisions if you would like to 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:16.120 have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:21.880 a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible throufle guess what, You've 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:28.599 got decisions? You've got decisions. But y'all, it's a humpday. 0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:32.160 This is our You Got Decision is our segment that 0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:34.600 we've made an episode for you. Every single week we 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:36.480 answer one of your questions you send to us. If 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:39.839 you want to get your question prioritized, you got to 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:42.440 DM it to us on Patreon, Patreon dot com Backslash 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:46.920 Horrible Decisions where the show never died, or you can 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:50.800 also send us your email at Decisions pod at gmail 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:55.120 dot com. Now we're gonna get right into it this 0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:57.880 week because we're not gonna hold you too long. This 0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:03.360 actually comes from a Patreon member who writes in oh lord, 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:08.480 hey girlies, I'll keep this as short as I can, 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:11.280 but you both have helped me in my journey into 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:15.800 my womanhood as I approach twenty four years old. Before 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:19.160 I dropped my question, i'd appreciate any general advice you'd 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:23.079 give to someone my age. I also love advice from 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:26.600 the both of you. Okay. I met this guy as 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:30.199 a server at a celebrity chef restaurant in DC. I'm 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:33.200 a black woman from Miami, big as fuck, and the 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:35.840 best way I could describe him is as a skinny 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:39.920 but cultured white guy. Long story short. We hung out 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:43.960 after his shift and he gave me submissive vibes. When 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:46.240 I gave him my number, he told me to Apple 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:49.560 pay myself whatever I wanted, and the convo after was 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:53.120 so flirty, and he's really funny. I've never fucked a 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:56.840 white guy or honestly had anything other than vanilla sex 0:12:56.920 --> 0:13:00.160 and toys. However, I know that I'm kink here, I 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:02.199 let on and all I would need is a man 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:05.600 to make me feel safe enough to explore that. Naturally, 0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:08.480 I'm more of a sub, but he gave me he 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:11.360 wanted to be my sub yo, bitch. He was saying 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:14.760 things like whatever I call him, he or respond I'm 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:19.440 his queen, etc. Anyways, that was literally all twenty four 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:21.920 hours of our encounter, and I want to follow up. 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:25.160 He didn't text me the next day, so I want 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:27.120 to reach out because I want to explore this more. 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:31.000 How should I proceed even if he isn't a sub? 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:33.760 Not gonna lie? I want to fuck him, but I've 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:38.720 never been so forward before. Any advice is helpful. I 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:41.560 feel like Mandy's looking at me because he's white, and 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:43.719 I don't know what's to say. However, when I go like, 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:46.360 that's why she think he has sub because I think 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:48.719 white man give me sub all the time. Because I 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:50.400 ain't never been with a white man. To me, I 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:52.679 always feel like I could just rough up a white man. 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:55.319 Sometimes I feel like also white guys are a little 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:57.800 bit more trepidationous, like when they meet a black woman 0:13:57.840 --> 0:13:59.320 because they're like, who are you into me? Or you're not? 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:01.360 So then you think such energy because it's not very 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:06.800 dominant but hmm, by the way, fuck you for saying 0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:10.520 that he gave you his Apple pay and told you 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:12.679 to Apple pay yourself whatever, and you ain't tell us 0:14:12.679 --> 0:14:14.520 how much you Apple paid yourself because that would let 0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:16.280 me know what you think of yourself. Because I'm also 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:20.160 that's what makes me think. Okay said she's trying to 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:21.800 come to him with like this, how much it's going 0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:23.960 to be the sub bois out because the Apple pay 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:25.920 comment is throwing me. It's not given me that she 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:27.920 wants to sex work because she said he didn't hit 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:30.480 me the next day, but not gonna lie. I still 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:32.200 want to fuck him, So it's not giving that she 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:34.280 wants to charge at all or make it any type 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:36.760 of thing. I think she said that to allude to 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:39.520 his submissiveness. So whenever I haven't gotten a text back, 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:41.960 I'm not gonna find it works every single time. I've 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.480 never been rejected by this, but it's not necessarily something 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:47.880 I would always recommend. But I like to be a 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:51.680 little fake dramatic. I'll say things like, waiting by the 0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:54.040 phone for you to text me has been really annoying, 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:56.320 blah blah blah blah blah, and then I'll send a 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:58.360 cute picture of me looking sad, and then they always 0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:03.000 have to reply because here's the thing, niggas forget you fine, 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:05.560 but all the time. One of my homeboys told me 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:09.560 he gets so many numbers that sometimes he has to 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:12.360 write in the notes like what they had on so 0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:15.320 he remembered the bitch. Oh yeah, Oh. I had to 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:18.520 my boyfriend. I had to change my name in his phone. 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:23.080 He had Mandy light skin. I said, I don't like 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:24.840 this name, and I said, and how many mandy do 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:27.200 you have? Oh? None? So then I should be able 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:31.600 to stand alone you putting Mandy light skin in cart egg. Bro. 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:34.400 I made him change an egg on and off for 0:15:34.520 --> 0:15:38.160 years that I talked about on the show. Bitch. My 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:40.960 name was Gigi blue in his phone, and I said, 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:43.440 what he's like? The day I met you, you was 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:46.760 wearing a blue wade the suit at Soho House ages 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:50.480 when your name was I was like, Bro, Mandy light 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:54.760 skin is great, glue is worse. No, it's not. Why 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:58.560 are you fucking talking about my skin color? I felt away, 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:01.720 and you couldn't have put Let's take us pretty smile 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:05.480 blind like Nigga light skin is so Gennaire octrog Gila 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:09.040 podcast once Bruh, I'm sorry, light skin is generic as fuck, 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:11.760 and I felt like he didn't really know no meat 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:21.680 very well. Well, here's the thing for the text. If 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:25.160 you want to fuck, you gotta start off gate the flirt. 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:28.720 The first's gotta be whether it be the emoji. The 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:31.640 emoji's gotta have the tongue. It's gotta be a you 0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:34.560 gotta get emoji. It's gotta be something that happened that night. 0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:37.840 If you're trying to lean into like the sexual energy, 0:16:38.040 --> 0:16:40.560 you gotta bring the sexual energy because for the most part, 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:42.440 men are pretty much gonna try to be respectful because 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:44.280 they all scared to getting me food right now. So 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:46.920 it's the gift. It's the photo of you, it's a 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:50.120 sexy moment from that night, or even saying something like 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:52.320 bringing you back. I can't think of what you wrote 0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:54.840 because I'm really hungry when my brain's broken. But whatever 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:56.400 he was saying to you that night, be like remember 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:58.680 when you x y Z. How come we haven't followed 0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:02.600 up on that? I'm ready. Yeah, things like that that 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:04.359 it's so hard for it, and I think that that's 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:07.120 the that's actually the first part you said that you're 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:10.639 normally sub leaning into dominance looks like you taking that 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:13.600 first sep then like in the most subtle way. I 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:18.000 think women often look at being submissive as being the 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:21.000 one that is getting chased. And in this essence, if 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:22.920 he didn't hit you back and bitch, if you want 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:25.920 that dick and you want that little pink, you gotta 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:29.159 go get it. And what that looked like is you 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:33.520 hitting him up and being like, hey, so where's your 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:34.960 next day off? Because I'm trying to see you where 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:37.040 you're taking me. I think that's what you should also 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:40.240 lean into. Don't be too dominant to where it seemed 0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:42.280 like you're trying to take him out. If he don't 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:45.639 already lead with like apple, pay lean into that. That 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:47.400 might be a part of his kick. He might be 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:50.200 he might want to be financially dominated. Something so good. 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:52.159 A piece of advice that you just gave I was 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:54.720 thinking about it when you were talking, is you said, 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:57.200 don't be too dominant. So now it is like, don't 0:17:57.200 --> 0:17:59.879 be too dominant, don't be too much. You did no, no, 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:02.160 I know, I said in terms of if you think 0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:04.240 he is a sub I didn't say that. I said 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:06.120 you got to lean into the dominance and what I'm 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:08.359 saying is to make sure that and that's why I 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:10.600 was leaning into the findom of it. If he pulled 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:13.119 out the Apple pay, what I was going to say 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:16.119 was that you should tell him when are you taking 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:18.800 me out? I'd like to go here? Don't be like, 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:21.280 don't ask him to go out, Like I was going 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:24.440 to lean into being full fledged dominant. If you want 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:26.840 to be dominant now outside of taking him out, be like, 0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:28.920 so when you're taking me out, I'm free this day? 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:30.879 Are you taking me out here? It's a better thing 0:18:31.320 --> 0:18:34.760 to start off with. When I heard you saying don't 0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:37.119 be too something, I was going to say, don't be 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:39.920 too forthcoming more than you want to be braddy. Think 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:44.000 of the word braddy as your guys for how you'll 0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:46.520 start off with being dominant, because if you're not naturally 0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:48.800 that bitch, it can come off kind of weird, or 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:51.159 you'll go too hard, or it just won't feel natural. 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:56.040 Definitely be bratty girl. Braddy is a part of dominating, 0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:57.960 and you can amp it up once he gives it 0:18:58.000 --> 0:18:59.960 back to you. So maybe like she really don't know 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:03.399 how to start, so I would definitely start off with one. 0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:05.680