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Speaker 1: My baby ass been fat. That is a fact. But

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Speaker 1: you know what, after a while, you get tired of

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Speaker 1: your own bullshit and you're realized you got to make

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Speaker 1: a change. And that's the space that I'm in right

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Speaker 1: now when it comes to my life. Overall, dead ass

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Speaker 1: booty included dead as dead ass. Now this ass is alive. Actually, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm cadein and I'm devoured and we're the Ellises. You

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Speaker 1: may know us from posting funny videos with our voys

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Speaker 1: and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,

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Speaker 1: I'll make you need derby most days. Wow. Oh and

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Speaker 1: one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir,

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Speaker 1: we all. We created this podcast to open dialogue about

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Speaker 1: some of them life's most taboo topics, things most folks

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Speaker 1: don't want to talk about. Do the lens of a

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Speaker 1: millennium married couple. Dead ass is a term that we

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Speaker 1: say every day. So when we say dead ass, we're

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Speaker 1: actually saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth,

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Speaker 1: and nothing about the truth. Were about to take philow

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Speaker 1: talk to a whole new level. Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 1: Story time, you got a story time about my ass?

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Speaker 1: I got I have a lot of stories. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: you have lots of stories stories about that stories, but no, um,

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Speaker 1: this story is going to take me back to November. Okay, November, Um,

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Speaker 1: everybody knew I had my health issues or whatever. Blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah. We talked about that. Kadein went to Jamaica.

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Speaker 1: And when Kadein came back from Jamaica, she was looking

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Speaker 1: at these pictures of herself from Jamaica and just to

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Speaker 1: give you, you know, just to kind of let you

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Speaker 1: guys know what it's how it's been. Um. Of course,

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Speaker 1: the Quota was born November eight, twenty twenty one, after

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Speaker 1: about nine weeks postpartum. Keanean's like you, I'm ready to

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Speaker 1: get back in shape. January comes around and Conean's in

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Speaker 1: the gym NonStop. I think it was from January to March. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you had got down to I think it was at

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Speaker 1: one point like one hundred and fifty pounds. You were

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Speaker 1: like about about one fifty five, but were not quite

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Speaker 1: one fifty. But she wasn't really really good. She gave birth.

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Speaker 1: I was that morning I stepped on the scale. I

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Speaker 1: was like, wow, this was my biggest, heaviest pregnancy. So

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Speaker 1: Coneanan got down to where she like, she like, I

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Speaker 1: feel comfortable and feel good about where I am. And

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Speaker 1: at the time, that was those three months from jan

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Speaker 1: So we're about March heading into April. April was a

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Speaker 1: heavy month for us, but it was my birthday, it

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Speaker 1: was Jackson's birthday. On we had travel and then starting March,

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Speaker 1: I mean starting in May, we had gotten into filming

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Speaker 1: and I had filmed every month from May, I was

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Speaker 1: in Canada, then we were down south. We did a

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Speaker 1: bunch of stuff. Before we knew it, we were heading

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Speaker 1: into podcast season. We're doing a live shows, and then

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Speaker 1: we were heading into the birthday seasons with your Dad's

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Speaker 1: birthday and Kyle's birthday. Before we knew it, six months

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Speaker 1: had gone by and Kadeine and I had kind of

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Speaker 1: fell off of being in the gym. That leads us

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Speaker 1: to November. November. Kate was looking at some video and

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Speaker 1: some pictures from herself in November and she said, devout,

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Speaker 1: when did I get fat? And I said, what you mean,

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Speaker 1: like when you get fat? She said, look at me?

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Speaker 1: And she was like, She's like, look at me, look

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Speaker 1: at me. I am a year postpartum. I was in

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Speaker 1: better shape earlier this year than I am now and

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Speaker 1: I can't take it, like I'm sick of it, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, baby, it's not that bad. She said, no,

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Speaker 1: don't tell me it's not that bad. You're gonna have

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Speaker 1: red carpets next year. I Am not going to be

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Speaker 1: the wife that everyone looks at and says, oh, that's

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Speaker 1: de Vio's wife. And from that moment, I've watched Kadein

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Speaker 1: go to a transformation. This song is dedicated to my wife,

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Speaker 1: who people have asked me if k has gotten to BBL,

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Speaker 1: which is hilarious. I'll get into why I think that's hiliars.

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Speaker 1: The song is dedicated to my wife cadem Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: It's a song about I like big buts and I

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Speaker 1: cannot lie you. Other brothers can't DENI when you see

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Speaker 1: your pretty Facebook and then team you get sprung. Hey,

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Speaker 1: you've been sprung from that law. I mean, granted, the

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Speaker 1: booty wasn't booty and like it is now back in

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Speaker 1: the day. Well, okay, but you I have booty to

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Speaker 1: give you credit. When I met you, one hundred and

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Speaker 1: fifteen pounds, your waist was probably about a twenty, but

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Speaker 1: you always had a thirty nine inch hip, right, So

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Speaker 1: you were always like, your hip to waste ratio was

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Speaker 1: always above twelve to thirteen. And this is for all

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Speaker 1: you gentlemen who trying to figure out how you know,

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Speaker 1: like you like curvey women. To me, it's never been

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Speaker 1: about how much a woman weighs. It's always been about

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Speaker 1: the hip to waste ratio. That's a big thing. So

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Speaker 1: when if if you're hip to waste ratio. For me,

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Speaker 1: when I was younger, I was like, oh, it's about twelve.

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Speaker 1: You know, we're looking at twenty six thirty eight, so

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Speaker 1: very good standard that was. That was the minimum of

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Speaker 1: where I was just like, oh, she she got a

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Speaker 1: bumper when you get to the fourteen fifteen, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. When you're looking at twenty six forty

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Speaker 1: twenty six forty one, you know what I'm saying. I

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Speaker 1: was like, Oh, she hold it. You know, she dragging

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Speaker 1: the wagon right there. So for me, that's that's what

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Speaker 1: it has always been about, you know, when I'm looking

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Speaker 1: at kids, like, she's always even when she's been pregnant,

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Speaker 1: right Like I don't know if you've been following us

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Speaker 1: long on Instagram, but Kay used to make fun of

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Speaker 1: me exactly like I like her when she's fluffy, because

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Speaker 1: there was a point where I don't remember what your

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Speaker 1: waste was, but I remember your hips was like a

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Speaker 1: forty four and I was enjoying myself. I was enjoying myself.

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Speaker 1: So Codeine always had a nice hip to waste ratio.

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Speaker 1: But I've seen that happening. But wait, wait, don't don't.

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Speaker 1: Don't talk about it yet, because we got to if

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Speaker 1: I got excited, we're talking about booties today, y'all died

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Speaker 1: right in. He forgot about the bills. He's forgot about

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Speaker 1: the ass. We're gonna take a quick break and we're

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Speaker 1: to come back in and we're gonna unpack. All right,

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Speaker 1: we're back, so let me yum. That story time was great,

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Speaker 1: But I gotta I gotta tell this story. Right when

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Speaker 1: I was dating k I remember going to her mom's

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Speaker 1: We're seeing pictures from her mom's fiftieth birthdays. I didn't go.

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Speaker 1: We weren't talking at the time. This is the time

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Speaker 1: with me and Mimi wasn't vibing right right. But her

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Speaker 1: mom for that year, turning fifty, had been in the gym, yes,

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Speaker 1: because she was like, I'm turning fifty this year, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to take care of myself. And I remember seeing

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Speaker 1: your mom in this red dress at fifty and I

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Speaker 1: remember saying, damn, yeah, my mom was looking. She was

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Speaker 1: always kind of in the gym, you know, try to

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Speaker 1: take care of but not this year in particular. She

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Speaker 1: was like, for fifty, I'm gonna be And I remember

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Speaker 1: my uncle Kevin and my Pops was just like, bro,

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Speaker 1: if you're dating a girl, seriously, don't make a commitment

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Speaker 1: until you see her mom's And I remember seeing your

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Speaker 1: mom's and being like, this is fifty. You can see

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Speaker 1: into the future. Signed me all the way up at

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Speaker 1: that point. That was after three kids. That was after

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Speaker 1: three kids, and then that meant that you had another good,

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Speaker 1: solid at least thirty years, at least thirty years at

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Speaker 1: least thirty years of you being fine. And then and

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Speaker 1: the funny thing is now I come in the house

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Speaker 1: and your mom still stacked. She still played tennis, she

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Speaker 1: still walk around, and she's sixty five. She walk around,

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Speaker 1: she's surprised she'd be running and jumping with the kids.

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Speaker 1: And your mom is holding like a track athlete because

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Speaker 1: she used to run track and play netball in Jamaica.

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Speaker 1: So it kind of kills me when people be like,

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Speaker 1: did kay get a BBL? And I'm like, have you

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Speaker 1: seen mom? And my mom will tell you she'd be

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Speaker 1: the first one who always tried to encourage me to

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Speaker 1: lose dim my ass is light, all right, I said,

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Speaker 1: meet me. I can't dim my ass is like because

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Speaker 1: it came from you. Since like, how am I gonna

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Speaker 1: How am I gonna dim the ass? Like? Okay? She

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Speaker 1: said when she was a kid growing up that she

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Speaker 1: used to get made fun of because she was stacked.

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Speaker 1: And I said that's you know, normally as a kid,

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Speaker 1: once you're getting made fun of, that's what she but yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I was like, they probably wanted one, because now

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Speaker 1: everybody wants the one right now. It's the boys making

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Speaker 1: fun of her because they had crushes on her. But

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Speaker 1: boys don't know how to tell you they like you,

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Speaker 1: so they make fun of you. Know. It's like, you

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Speaker 1: see the girl a pretty good I'm gonna pus you

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Speaker 1: in the bush. That's what That's what boys do back

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Speaker 1: in the day. I like this girl, I'm a tripper

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Speaker 1: in the line, right, So you make fun of the

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Speaker 1: things that you like. Look at you with your big

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Speaker 1: old bud. She said. She used to try to hide

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Speaker 1: it all the time. And in turn, I remember vividly

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Speaker 1: being in ballet school at one point, and I would

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Speaker 1: have been about thirteen fourteen. This is when I realized, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you kind of have like a little Kurt. Right. So

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Speaker 1: I'm on the ballet bar with all of my you know,

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Speaker 1: dance mates, and I remember my dance she used to

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Speaker 1: have like this pointer stick thing and she just like,

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Speaker 1: you know, tap you on your back or your shoulders

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Speaker 1: or or your feet to turn out more. And she's

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Speaker 1: always come and hit my ass to be like Kadeen

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Speaker 1: t talk talk hips forward, hips forward. I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know how much more forward you want the ghosts,

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Speaker 1: but one thing this ass ain't gonna do is took

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Speaker 1: not for you, not for nobody. And that's when I

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Speaker 1: realized my ballerina hopes and dreams were out the window

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Speaker 1: because I might have been a little too stacked to

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Speaker 1: be the larina. You know. It was funny, but but yeah,

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Speaker 1: um talking about body recomposition today, I think I'm just

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Speaker 1: in this space, y'all. If I'm really just unpacking, like

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Speaker 1: why I've just been in overtime and to speak to

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Speaker 1: my story time and being tired of my own bullshit.

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Speaker 1: Then it comes a point in life and I don't

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Speaker 1: know if it's my approach to forty or what it is,

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Speaker 1: but I am just over making excuses for myself. No,

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Speaker 1: I not gett a b BL. No, set the record straight,

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Speaker 1: because if you're gonna put this out as the topic

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Speaker 1: of the show, No, I did not get a b BL, y'all.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I've had, or will have, or ever

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Speaker 1: have six to eight weeks to be able to not

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Speaker 1: sit on my ass. I don't have time for that.

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Speaker 1: Girls who are able to get to have the luxury

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Speaker 1: to do that more power to uses. Whatever makes you

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Speaker 1: feel good is great. But no, I did not get

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Speaker 1: a b BL. But I think I'm just on this

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Speaker 1: road now to just trying to take the best care

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Speaker 1: of myself. And some of it is you know, of

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Speaker 1: course physical, because wanting to be back on camera, I

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Speaker 1: wanted to be considered for roles or wanting to you know,

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Speaker 1: be a host again and be in that light. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm no longer having to worry about starting

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Speaker 1: all over again. So it's being pregnant, postpartum life, gaining

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Speaker 1: the weight, losing the weight, not being consistent in the gym.

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Speaker 1: I'm just over it at this point. I'm over myself

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Speaker 1: self sabotaging. I'm over trying to make excuses for why

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Speaker 1: I can't do things when I know I'm fully capable.

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Speaker 1: And even more so, it's just the health stuff. As

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Speaker 1: much as we joke about my mom and her body,

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Speaker 1: you know, and her being in the gym, she was

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Speaker 1: taking pretty decent care of herself and had a heart

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Speaker 1: attack at fifty four. Yeah, Like a lot of this

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Speaker 1: is internal for me too. My mother had to stress

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Speaker 1: induced heart attack. Like who even knew, Like, you know,

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Speaker 1: she would take, you know, pretty good care of results.

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Speaker 1: She's not a big eater, worked out. It was very

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Speaker 1: conscious of that. Now, granted, wasn't getting the sleep that

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Speaker 1: she probably needed or the nutrients in, but you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm wanting to do that for my family, Like I

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Speaker 1: want to be in the best space that I can

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Speaker 1: be physically. I don't know, if I just feel better

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Speaker 1: in general, my mood is better. Our connection, you know,

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Speaker 1: that's something that we do together, we take pride in.

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Speaker 1: But what I really want to know is why people

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Speaker 1: ain't ask him to valid if he got his body done.

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Speaker 1: So that's the bigger question. I was going to talk

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Speaker 1: to you about this because me and Trouble was laughing

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Speaker 1: downstairs and I was like, this is the funniest part

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Speaker 1: about the expectations to society, societal expectations for women. Kadein

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Speaker 1: and I've been on this journey together, right, and the

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Speaker 1: support has been amazing. Sidebar that I appreciate you. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for that, No, because sometimes I think you'll post

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Speaker 1: about it or you'll make comments and people think that

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Speaker 1: it's misconstrued. They think that it's you forcing me to

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Speaker 1: work out or forcing me to be in a particular

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Speaker 1: shape because it's something that you want. But at no

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Speaker 1: point is it that it's not all me speaking my

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Speaker 1: goals aloud, speaking my dreams aloud, speaking you know, the

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Speaker 1: need for support allowed, and you just showing up for

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Speaker 1: me in that space. So I love you for that,

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Speaker 1: because I know some days I ain't the easiest person

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Speaker 1: to deal with. Then I get a little wishy washy,

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Speaker 1: but I'm at the space now where I just really

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to be more deliberate about what my life

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Speaker 1: is going to look like. So no, I appreciate you

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Speaker 1: you're saying that because I've also you know, seen some

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Speaker 1: of the comments when we've been in the gym together

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Speaker 1: and maybe like get my girl a rest, Like why

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Speaker 1: are you so hard on her? Her body image shouldn't

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Speaker 1: be the biggest thing on your plate. And I'm just

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Speaker 1: like Kadeen wants to get in shape and I'm working

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Speaker 1: out with her. I don't know how it became a

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Speaker 1: thing where I'm forcing you, but that also talks about

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Speaker 1: societal pressures and issues. Right if we work out together,

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Speaker 1: people automatically assume that I'm forcing you to work out.

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Speaker 1: We both get in the best shape of our lives.

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Speaker 1: And they automatically assumed the devout went and got in

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Speaker 1: the gym, but Codeine got her butt done. What people

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Speaker 1: don't understand is I weigh two hundred pounds now. I've

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Speaker 1: never been two hundred pounds of my life. My whole life,

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Speaker 1: I've been on the slimmer side. I've been about one

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Speaker 1: hundred and seventy five two hundred and eighty pounds over

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Speaker 1: the last couple of years, I've been doing a lot

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Speaker 1: more cardio type of work to be slim for television.

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Speaker 1: But as Codein and I got into this journey together,

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Speaker 1: she wanted to lose weight, but be more curvy. So

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Speaker 1: we started to do a lot more heavy weightlifting like

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Speaker 1: I did when I was playing football, and I gained

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Speaker 1: thirteen pounds of muscle in the last four months because

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Speaker 1: Codeine and I have been going to the gym. That

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Speaker 1: was another thing. Codein and I had to have a

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Speaker 1: gym in our house. Our house gym was is a

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Speaker 1: maintenance gym, but Codein says she wanted to build her legs,

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Speaker 1: built her butt. So we went started going to La Fitness.

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Speaker 1: We in La Fitness three times a week, focusing on building.

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Speaker 1: I am two hundred pounds and my waist is a

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Speaker 1: thirty two. My waist was a thirty two when I

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Speaker 1: was one hundred and seventy six pounds, which to me

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Speaker 1: is crazy because even my boys would be like, Yodee,

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Speaker 1: what you want Like your shoulders man big, Like you

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Speaker 1: gotta stop lifting, Like it's the view from up top.

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Speaker 1: For me, you know, it's the shoulders and it's the

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Speaker 1: keep it up. So so I'm never gonna lose his

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Speaker 1: weight now because if you if you enjoying it, I'm

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Speaker 1: enjoyed enjoy it. But it was crazy to me that

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Speaker 1: people see the change in my body and their first

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Speaker 1: thing is why you've been in the gym. You look great,

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Speaker 1: but they see the change in your body and their

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Speaker 1: first thought is, codeine went and got her button done.

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Speaker 1: And it's crazy to me that people hold women to

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Speaker 1: higher beauty standards than men, because in our society, a

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Speaker 1: man's value is in the money he makes, where a

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Speaker 1: woman's value is in her ability to stay pretty and

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Speaker 1: have kids, which to me is crazy because it's like,

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Speaker 1: you don't think women put work into to be beautiful,

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Speaker 1: Like why is it automatically that it's just okay if

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Speaker 1: she got beautiful, right, she had to have something done,

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Speaker 1: Oh for sure. I mean that's the culture that we're

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Speaker 1: in now. It's like you it's like literally trying to

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Speaker 1: dissect and decipher. First of all, you're trying to blow

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Speaker 1: through you know, filters and photoshop and everything first off,

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Speaker 1: you know, because then you'll meet somebody, you'll see a

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Speaker 1: picture of them on Instagram and you see them in person,

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Speaker 1: and you'd be like, wait a second, right, right, the

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Speaker 1: same person right? Cap you know? Um? But also too,

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Speaker 1: it's it's the time that we're in. Women are just

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Speaker 1: electing to go and get surgery. You don't have an

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Speaker 1: ask go buy one, like you know you want some tities,

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Speaker 1: get them, Like, there's just so many different alternatives or

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Speaker 1: options for people that no one is going to equate

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Speaker 1: to hard work because that's not something I think that's

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Speaker 1: necessarily valued as much nowadays. It's instant gratification. How we

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Speaker 1: can make it happen quick and then keep it moving,

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Speaker 1: which which I think is important that you're talking about

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Speaker 1: instant gratification because when people see codein, they don't realize

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Speaker 1: that for the past two years, you've seen cadein pregnant

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Speaker 1: and then postpartum. So yeah, for two years you saw

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Speaker 1: cadean one way, but the cadem you're seeing now is

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Speaker 1: how codein naturally walks around, which I think for people

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Speaker 1: to understand, it's almost like, oh, when I lived in California.

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Speaker 1: When we live in California, exactly after I had Cass,

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Speaker 1: we moved to California, Cass is about two. And it's

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Speaker 1: important for women to know. And I'd say this because

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Speaker 1: it's such a stressor for women after they have children.

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Speaker 1: But scientifically, your body hormonally does not level out to

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Speaker 1: your baseline hormonal level, which is still a little wonky.

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Speaker 1: But when you're pregnant, it's like all over the place.

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Speaker 1: But the baseline for where you are normally does not

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Speaker 1: hit until at least nine months postpartum, but for most

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Speaker 1: people a year. Yeah. Yeah, so that whole year, that

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Speaker 1: first year. Yeah, your body is not necessarily responding the

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Speaker 1: way you wanted to, which makes sense why you felt

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Speaker 1: more invigorated in November after coming back from Jamaica. I did.

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Speaker 1: I did because it was at that point a full year. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I noticed with me, for example, and every woman is

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Speaker 1: different after having children, and I wait, my six weeks,

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Speaker 1: I will then get into the gym, lose my weight

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Speaker 1: and then somehow slowly start to regain it for whatever reason.

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Speaker 1: And it could be with the breastfeeding and like you're

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Speaker 1: eating a certain amount of calories to produce a certain

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Speaker 1: amount of milk. There's so many different variables that you're

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Speaker 1: trying to like figure out, right. So once you do

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Speaker 1: all of that and you're like, Okay, now I'm finally

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Speaker 1: a year out. That's kind of where I am. I'm

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Speaker 1: fifteen months out postpartum, so now I feel like my

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Speaker 1: body is like, oh, I remember how we used to flex.

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Speaker 1: Not to mention, I'm no longer on a birth control method, right,

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Speaker 1: So my mood. It has been completely different, and I've

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Speaker 1: literally been trying to like monitor myself because I don't

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Speaker 1: want to jump the gun and say like, oh, just

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Speaker 1: because mentally I know that I'm off of some sort

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Speaker 1: of birth control method that now things are naturally better.

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Speaker 1: I think some of it is just my body naturally

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Speaker 1: becoming what it's supposed to be, but also to me

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Speaker 1: making the choice to say, you know what, I'm no

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Speaker 1: longer going to just give into the lifestyle of oh,

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Speaker 1: I can do it tomorrow. Like, No, I'm getting in

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Speaker 1: the gym today. Like am I going to wait for

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Speaker 1: devots to get in the gym? No. I want to

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Speaker 1: see the results, So I'm going to get into the gym. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I need to eat this way when I'm on the

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Speaker 1: road to help me maintain the results that I'm seeing.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to make those necessary adjustments and changes. Our writer,

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00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,280
Speaker 1: whenever we go to venues or anywhere, has a specific

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Speaker 1: list of things that we should have in our green room.

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Speaker 1: I literally just changed my writer to have protein shakes,

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Speaker 1: protein bars, like just things that I know that will

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Speaker 1: set me up for success. Codein is a me head now.

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Speaker 1: Last night I heard Gadeen talk about something. Man, my

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Speaker 1: appetition change. I gotta go get me a protein shape.

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Speaker 1: I'll get by protein. She's like CoDeeN is officially a me.

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Speaker 1: You know how much of a meat heat? I am?

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Speaker 1: Not only am I drinking like protein shakes, right, So

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Speaker 1: trying to find the best ones that don't have a

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Speaker 1: lot of junk in it. But I also learned that

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Speaker 1: the best source of protein that's like the most like

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00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,040
Speaker 1: just basic without any frills, nothing else in it is

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Speaker 1: egg whites. Yeah. So I've been getting like cartons of

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00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,919
Speaker 1: egg whites. Oh my gosh. And now pour me a

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Speaker 1: cup of it. And I found this this uh, this

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00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 1: additive that you put in it. It's just a little

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00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,200
Speaker 1: something to give it a little bit of flavor. Yeah,

384
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:32,960
Speaker 1: it's the tiva. That's the tiva. That's weird. Yeah st stevia,

385
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 1: Look at you careful now, that's ef um stevia. But

386
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,399
Speaker 1: it's a flavored one. It's like a caramel talfie flavor.

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00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,399
Speaker 1: Put a couple of drops in that. Down me a

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00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,000
Speaker 1: cup of egg whites, Like, okay, that's my meal. That's

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00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 1: that's my shake for the day. This is what she's

390
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 1: on right now. And and here's the truth. I had

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00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,360
Speaker 1: to kind of understand, like, why would somebody say they

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Speaker 1: could then get a b BO Like y'all know how

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Speaker 1: much we work out. Y'all know what candeeds to look like.

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Speaker 1: But I had to think about it. In twenty twenty one,

395
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Speaker 1: when we first moved here, we got a huge jump

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00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,160
Speaker 1: because we had posted that we got a new house.

397
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 1: I'm looking at how many followers I had. I had

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Speaker 1: one point six million followers in twenty twenty one. It's

399
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Speaker 1: now twenty twenty three. I have two million, which means

400
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 1: that's four hundred thousand new followers who've only seen you

401
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:27,880
Speaker 1: pregnant true and then postpartum for the last two years, right,

402
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,960
Speaker 1: so their idea of who you are is this bigger

403
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 1: version because you were pregnant in a postpartum. That's actually

404
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 1: a really good point. So now, so that's four hundred

405
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:39,760
Speaker 1: thousand people. So now it comes to February twenty twenty

406
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 1: three and Codein is snatched and they're just like, Yo,

407
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 1: when did this happen? But it's like if you if

408
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,800
Speaker 1: you go back before that and see what Kadein looked like,

409
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:54,760
Speaker 1: because I've also you know, you get reminders and recently,

410
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,680
Speaker 1: because remember we moved into this house. Well, I moved

411
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,120
Speaker 1: into this house February thirteen, twenty twenty one. You had

412
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,359
Speaker 1: moved us in here a couple of days, but prior,

413
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:07,760
Speaker 1: but we just passed that February thirteenth moment, February thirteenth

414
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,479
Speaker 1: and February eleventh to thirteenth, I would still filming. Remember,

415
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,200
Speaker 1: used to set up your phone and take pictures and

416
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 1: they came up in my phone as your memories, and

417
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 1: you were just looking good. You was so slim in

418
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: those photos. And I was just like, yo, this this

419
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,640
Speaker 1: is what Kadan looked like when we moved in here.

420
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,959
Speaker 1: And it's like two years later, you're back to that, right,

421
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,479
Speaker 1: And it's just like people haven't seen you like that.

422
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,680
Speaker 1: The introduced people to us who came recently. I aren't

423
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 1: used to seeing you set me up, y'all. He knew

424
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 1: how fine I was looking when I was sending him

425
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 1: the pictures in the house, but he was filming and

426
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 1: he came home, but it was both of us. He

427
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,679
Speaker 1: came home to the blue Light special that I created

428
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:50,160
Speaker 1: for exactly exactly, and he was just like, yeah, Badi Yadi,

429
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 1: Yadi yadi, Yeah it was babyes. I will say this,

430
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,680
Speaker 1: I will give you, guys a couple of hits, as

431
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,360
Speaker 1: you guys know, in another life, well not in a life.

432
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 1: In an earlier part of this life, I was also

433
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:06,159
Speaker 1: a trainer. I studied exercise physiology and kinesiology. I have

434
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 1: my certificates in National Academy of Sports Medicine which is

435
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,400
Speaker 1: also known as NASOM. So when it comes to training,

436
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:16,199
Speaker 1: Codein literally lives with a trainer, a certified educated trainer,

437
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 1: so I know how to do this right. One thing

438
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:22,479
Speaker 1: I adapted to Codeine's change in how she's getting her

439
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 1: work done is we're no longer saying we're going to

440
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,440
Speaker 1: go to the gym three times a week and work

441
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 1: out ninety minutes. Yes, I was to lose me. Yes,

442
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,360
Speaker 1: Cadan's like ninety minutes in the gym. Hell no, it's

443
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 1: always I'll go tomorrow. I'll go tomorrow till tomorrow never comes. Right.

444
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 1: This is the biggest change. And write this down. Codeine

445
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 1: and I work out every day for a minimum of

446
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:48,640
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes. And when I say work out, I mean yeah, yours,

447
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 1: yours is twenty. Yours is twenty minimum because you like

448
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 1: to do more cardio, because you Codeine is still in

449
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 1: a place where she wants to lose more weight in

450
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 1: her face, so she likes to do cardio and walk

451
00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 1: in her arms because she's still trying to lose weight.

452
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to lose weight. So when I say workout,

453
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 1: working out to us is getting on a treadmill and

454
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,879
Speaker 1: doing a high in client walk for twenty minutes. You

455
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:13,719
Speaker 1: can change your life drastically if you implement movement every

456
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 1: single day for at least fifteen to twenty minutes. And

457
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 1: when I say movement consistently, when I say movement, that

458
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 1: walk isn't a straight like stroll walk. It is a

459
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 1: high intensity any client walk, right, So what is a workout?

460
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 1: But it's only for twenty minutes? Because some people have

461
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 1: their little Apple watch on their fit but they're like,

462
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 1: I got my steps in today and I think that

463
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 1: they actually did a workout. That's not really no workout.

464
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,920
Speaker 1: You have to get your steps in and still do

465
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 1: a high intensity workout just to make sure that you're

466
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,400
Speaker 1: burning the calories and keeping your body active when you're

467
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:47,679
Speaker 1: really not active. So this is our workout plan. Monday,

468
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 1: we go to the gym. We only go to the

469
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 1: gym for forty five minutes. On those mondays we go

470
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 1: to the gym, it's all heavyweight lower body days. Becaudean

471
00:23:55,240 --> 00:24:01,640
Speaker 1: is doing. I love deadlifts, squads, lunges, single leg push downs,

472
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 1: adductor abducts. I'm talking about a series of exercises and

473
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 1: heavyweight to help build her glutes, her hamstrings, in her calves,

474
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 1: which is why everyone thinks that codein get a BBL. Yeah,

475
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 1: her butt is on her back because on Monday we're

476
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 1: doing all those heavy workouts. On Wednesday, I've always naturally

477
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 1: just had bigger legs and always been developed. I think

478
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 1: that has a lot to do with genetics as well. Yeah,

479
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: but then on Wednesday we'll go back to the gym

480
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: and now we'll do leg curl leg extensions, single leg pushdowns,

481
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: squat jumps. So Wednesday it's another heavy leg day. Friday,

482
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 1: we'll go back to the gym again and now she's

483
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 1: doing sets of twenty. It's a lighter head day, but

484
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 1: it's a high volume day. So we're attacking that core

485
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 1: group three times during the week. And on Tuesday and

486
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,199
Speaker 1: Thursday she's downstairs in the gym twenty minutes doing her

487
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 1: high inclined walk, or she'll do sprints sprints has definitely

488
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 1: changed the way her lower body look, but also her

489
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: mid section. Let me tell you guys something, when it

490
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 1: comes to training, people say to me all the time, devout,

491
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 1: how you gaining weight? Still have a six pack? I

492
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,959
Speaker 1: do sprints. I do not get on that treadmill and

493
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: be on that treadmill for sixty minutes. You can ask

494
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 1: the podcast group when they come here. I will put

495
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 1: that treadmill on the highest thing with the highest speed

496
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,440
Speaker 1: is twelve miles per hour. I'll put that incline on

497
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,640
Speaker 1: a six point zero and I'll let the treadmill run.

498
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 1: I'll jump on the treadmill. I'll sprint for ten seconds,

499
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,640
Speaker 1: I'll jump off, I'll do five hand cleans. I'll do

500
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,439
Speaker 1: that round for ten minutes straight, which means I'll end

501
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 1: up getting ten sprints in and I end up doing

502
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 1: ten sets of five hand clean which will put me

503
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 1: at fifty hand cleans. As soon as I get done,

504
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: I'll get off there and I'll do a thousand jump ropes.

505
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: I'll do sets of one hundred jump ropes as fast

506
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 1: as I can. Sprints and doing explosive movements is the

507
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 1: quickest way to get rid of your mid section. It

508
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 1: is not running on the treadmill like you're training for

509
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:01,439
Speaker 1: a marathon. But people make that mistake. Yep. When you

510
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 1: train like that and you get on the treadmill for

511
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,919
Speaker 1: an hour every single day, first thing is you are

512
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: guaranteed to hurt yourself because when you run like that

513
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 1: for a long periods of time and you don't give

514
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 1: yourself enough time to rest, you're ultimately breaking down the

515
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: muscle you're trying to build. And when you get hurt,

516
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: you can't train, and when you can't train, your body

517
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,440
Speaker 1: starts to gain weight setback. For sure, I've been able

518
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: to reduce the amount of time I get injured by

519
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,720
Speaker 1: doing a lot more sprints than doing a lot more

520
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 1: long term long distance running, and coupling that with a

521
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,399
Speaker 1: lot more weight training in I put Kadeen on the

522
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 1: same regiment and there's not a day that goes by.

523
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,679
Speaker 1: We do that Monday through Friday. Saturday is Sunday. I

524
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,399
Speaker 1: told Kadeen, Yo, Saturday and Sunday, I don't want you

525
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,040
Speaker 1: to do nothing. I want you to rest. I go downstairs.

526
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: Kadeen is on the treadmill doing high and klow walks.

527
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 1: In twenty minutes, I say y'all. I thought I told

528
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 1: you to rest, and I'm like, I thought you said

529
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,679
Speaker 1: I should be doing twenty minutes of something every day.

530
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 1: This is not the same one. But not the same one,

531
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 1: am I like, I just have no I don't I

532
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. I think it's also to

533
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 1: me having something to prove to myself, to get myself

534
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: into the best shape of my life. I think part

535
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: of it is me turning for you, because you know,

536
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 1: I feel like within milestone birthday, it's like, oh my god,

537
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 1: I'm about to embark on a whole other decade. But

538
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 1: also too just being tired of feeling like I've just

539
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: been mediocre in general with just my physical being my body.

540
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: I just feel like I've just always been kind of

541
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 1: coasting skating by never really pushing myself to see what

542
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 1: I could look and feel like at my best. So

543
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be with you shooting in the gym, but

544
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,439
Speaker 1: I gotta know the plan, Like, don't bring me to

545
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,959
Speaker 1: the gym blindly, and I need to know my workout

546
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,679
Speaker 1: ahead of time. I could wrap my mind around it,

547
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 1: because every day is a struggle. And I think that's

548
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 1: when Triple asked the biggest challenge for me with maintaining

549
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,199
Speaker 1: the fitness, it's just consistency and carving out time to

550
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,680
Speaker 1: do it, particularly when we travel. So traveling is hard.

551
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,879
Speaker 1: Like we had a rough past three weeks with the

552
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 1: book tour and the live shows and stuff. So trying

553
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:53,640
Speaker 1: to set myself up for success when I'm traveling has

554
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: been something that I have to actually coordinate. Like I

555
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 1: walked with my little blender. I walk with my my

556
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:02,400
Speaker 1: ag one greens. I walk with my with my seed,

557
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,680
Speaker 1: my probiotic and jump rope. The jump rope is something

558
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 1: easy to put in the bag, and it's something if

559
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: you're in a hotel room and it's just like man,

560
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,439
Speaker 1: I can't get to the gym or they don't have

561
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: a good enough gym. I can just do twenty minutes

562
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 1: of jump rope. Something well, I gotta tell the story.

563
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 1: We went to Houston and Dallas to go look at

564
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: venues for the podcasts and K gets an Airbnb. I'm like,

565
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 1: why don't we just stay in their hotel? Like I

566
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,159
Speaker 1: need an Airbnb. I'm like, whiting Airbnb. This is the

567
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,440
Speaker 1: new wife that I have. I need a washer and

568
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,199
Speaker 1: dry or wash my workout clothes and I need a

569
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 1: place to jump rope. You're choosing where we stay around

570
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 1: how you're gonna work out. That has never in my

571
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 1: life been what my reality has been. I kid you not.

572
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: This woman chose to stay in the airbnb so that

573
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: she can have Washington Drive for her workout clothes and

574
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 1: the space to jump rope. I was like, I don't

575
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: know who you are about. I love you because he

576
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like the only lunatic in the house. I

577
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 1: don't because you know me, I'll get my jump broke

578
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 1: in a minute and I'll jump rope in the hotel.

579
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 1: But then my clothes be stink because I work out

580
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 1: and I got my stink clothes in the bag. But

581
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 1: I know Condena is a hotel snob. She only likes

582
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 1: to say certain places, and I want her to have

583
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 1: enjoy herself. So I'm like, fine, I'll just deal with

584
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 1: the stink close in my bag. But now it's like

585
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 1: everything is revolving, and that's why people say like it's

586
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 1: a life. It really being in shape and being fit

587
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 1: is a lifestyle. Nutrition too. My question to you is how,

588
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 1: because we've already discussed this, what would be your advice

589
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: to women who don't enjoy working out because you don't.

590
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 1: You don't you still to you still you don't like it.

591
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 1: What would be your advice to women on how to

592
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: get to the point you are now after dealing with

593
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: everything you've belt with over the past ten years, especially

594
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 1: having children. Understand that changes your outlook on your body

595
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 1: and your life. But yeah, what would be your main

596
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 1: thing how you got to the this point? Well, it's twofold.

597
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 1: One thing. I just got sick and tired of being

598
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: sick and tired of not being in a space physically

599
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 1: that I wanted to be. So it was a big

600
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 1: mental shift for me to just say to myself to

601
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 1: talk myself into it, like Kadin, like enough is enough,

602
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,239
Speaker 1: Like you have to really take control. But also too,

603
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 1: just finding the things that work for you is necessary.

604
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: I feel like working out fitness, the lifestyle of it

605
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 1: is not an all encompassing thing. There are different things

606
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 1: that work for different people and you have to learn

607
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 1: your body. So for me, I realized that I love weightlifting,

608
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: That's my thing, right, So if weightlifting is my thing

609
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: and that's something I actually enjoy when I'm in the

610
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 1: gym versus going on the treadmill for thirty to forty

611
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 1: to fifty minutes. It's finding a way to design a

612
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 1: workout that's deliberate about the areas that I'm working on,

613
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 1: but can be highly impactful in a short amount of time.

614
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: So Devout has helped me create a program where I'm like, okay,

615
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 1: if I want to if I like to lift weights

616
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 1: instead of jumping rope with the rope like when we're home,

617
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 1: how about you use the bar and do push Jack's.

618
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 1: So that way, I'm using a weight and I'm jumping,

619
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 1: so it's a similar motion, but I'm working out the

620
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 1: body parts that needs to be worked out, and it's

621
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: a bit more enjoyable because it's something that I enjoy

622
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 1: to do when I'm in the gym. Learn what works

623
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 1: for you. There's never like something. If everyone has their thing.

624
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: That's a piece of advice that I can give to women.

625
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: Also to carving out the time for yourself. People love

626
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: to throw around its self care, self care, self care,

627
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 1: but how exactly are you showing up for yourself? And

628
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: that's important to me. I realized that my mood, my

629
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 1: mental clarity, the way I approach life and things outside

630
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:52,239
Speaker 1: of working out, just my family, my work. When I

631
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: get a good workout in and I feel like I've

632
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: invested in myself. I'm able to then output so much

633
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 1: more and that has definitely helped me as well. So

634
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: I think if you put all those things together, find

635
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 1: ways to carver out those times for yourself, that's a

636
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 1: great place to at least start. You know, you're not

637
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 1: gonna be a meathead, you know, but you can at

638
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: least develop some sort of system. It's like you have

639
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 1: to schedule it in a lot of times, it's like

640
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 1: I don't have the time for it. You have time

641
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 1: for a lot of stuff. Think about the aimless scrolling

642
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: that we do for thirty minutes. That's thirty minutes you

643
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: could have been doing something and now absolutely endlessly scroll

644
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: in between my workout. You know, absolutely, I have to.

645
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 1: I think it's important to note because I know people

646
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 1: will say this, and I've seen comments like this, Well,

647
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 1: it's easy for the Coneian get in shape now because

648
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: she's rich. You know, she got a gym at home,

649
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 1: she can eat whatever she wants, she doesn't have to

650
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 1: work full time. Like it's easy. It don't. Because if

651
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 1: you look at Caneian's Instagram between two thou and sixteen

652
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: to Now, we were not rich. When we were living

653
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:52,959
Speaker 1: in the apartment. We were barely making ends meet. We

654
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 1: were working out asses off to every month make sure

655
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: that the bills are paid on time. But we still

656
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 1: find ways to work out and could. He was in

657
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: great shape going into a thirty thirtieth birthday in twenty

658
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 1: and fourteen. Yeah, Kadin was working full time. Shed we

659
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: already already had one child. Going into twenty seventeen, when

660
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: she got back in shape and got pregnant again, we

661
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 1: had two children. Kadein was working, I was working. We

662
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 1: were in the apartment yet so and I say that

663
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 1: to say this, the excuses you make will be your

664
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 1: own downfall. When you look at someone get in shape

665
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 1: and you say, how do they do that? Don't make

666
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 1: excuses to why you can't because of things they have.

667
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 1: Start to make a plan of how you can get

668
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 1: in it because the things you have. For example, I

669
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: remember when I was working at the gym, Kdein at

670
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: that point would be like, yo, I don't like going

671
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 1: to the gym, but I know I got to pick

672
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 1: my husband up from the gym. When I'm there, I'm

673
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: gonna do my twenty minutes. And at this point Kadean

674
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 1: wasn't as big on weightlifting because Codein was big on them.

675
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to like a football player type body,

676
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,239
Speaker 1: and it took me a while to convince her that

677
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 1: that was gonna happen. So she used to cycle. And

678
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: that goes back to your you should do spin classes.

679
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: And it makes me realize that you always have a

680
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 1: way of getting back in shape when you need to.

681
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 1: You find the thing that you like doing and you

682
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 1: make your whole workout around that. So I would tell

683
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 1: young ladies or even young men who want to get

684
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: in shape, she is telling the truth. If you don't

685
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,839
Speaker 1: like weightlifting and you like running, run, make a game

686
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 1: out of it and do it consistently. If you don't

687
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,400
Speaker 1: like running and you want to ride bikes, spin classes.

688
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,320
Speaker 1: If you don't like spin class and you want to

689
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,240
Speaker 1: do hit workouts, you can join a cross fit class,

690
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: or you can And this is what one thing I

691
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,839
Speaker 1: will say, hire a professional to help professional to help

692
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 1: you make a plan that has some sort of longevity.

693
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: People always ask me, man, what's the point of training

694
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 1: when you can work out on your own. Trainers because

695
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 1: of the science teach you how to work out efficiently.

696
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 1: That's it so that you're not just working, because there's

697
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 1: a difference between progress and movement. Right, progress you're working

698
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 1: purposefully to move forward. Right, you can run in place

699
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: all day and not get anywhere. And also too, you

700
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,800
Speaker 1: have to realize everybody's body is different and responds differently,

701
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 1: So going to classes sometimes are not expected for certain

702
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: people because everybody is not losing weight the same way.

703
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 1: Like you said, also to all movement is just not

704
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 1: good movements. Yeah, because we've we've known people to our

705
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 1: trainers and seeing people who have done things where it's

706
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 1: just like people going there, they get a sweat, but

707
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 1: their body looks the same same, right, And it may

708
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 1: be because the nutrition is not on point, because that's

709
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 1: a whole other thing. You have to make sure the

710
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 1: nutrition is on point. But are you not doing deliberate

711
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: exercises to target the places that you want? So if

712
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,399
Speaker 1: you're saying you want to build a butt, you want

713
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 1: to snatch a waist, you want to build some leg muscles,

714
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,400
Speaker 1: you know, some things are naturally genetic in body shapes

715
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: are different. But also too, if you're not working on

716
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 1: those specific body parts and those specific muscle groups, you're

717
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: not going to see the gains in those areas or

718
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 1: the losses, if that's what you're looking for, and also

719
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 1: if you're a young man who your significant others getting

720
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 1: in shape. The hardest part to what cadein early on

721
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 1: was getting her through those first two weeks of the

722
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: intense soreness. She will tell you when she started working

723
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:07,240
Speaker 1: out crazy with them heavy weights. Was I not giving

724
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 1: you massages? I was giving And I'm not talking about

725
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 1: the massages I like to give, you know, I like

726
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 1: to give massage engine And I'm gonna start rubbing places

727
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:19,240
Speaker 1: and then no, I'm talking about cadein. Get your ass

728
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: in the cold tub, like literal, actual tears in the

729
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:28,880
Speaker 1: cold tub, and I'm putting in the cold toub for

730
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 1: ten minutes, and I'm like, I'm gonna sit here with

731
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: you and you're gonna do this. And then once you

732
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,359
Speaker 1: get out the cold tub, sit on that bed. Let

733
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 1: me get that oil. And I'm with my forearm rubbing

734
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:43,240
Speaker 1: that it band, rubbing them quads, them cash. She's crying.

735
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 1: I'm rubbing that lower back, her sides or her obliques

736
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 1: from doing all of this ad work, and she's in pain,

737
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,719
Speaker 1: and I'm like, listen to me, babe, just do this

738
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:54,439
Speaker 1: for two to three weeks and let your body get

739
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 1: used to that pain and that feeling, and after a

740
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,800
Speaker 1: while it was just like I don't feel that sore anymore.

741
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: You're also know two that two weeks is like you're

742
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:06,800
Speaker 1: working out so intense and nothing's happening. Yes, nothing is happening.

743
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 1: I'm literally after each workout in the mirror like, see

744
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 1: you see anything different? You know there's anything different. There's

745
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 1: a better fact. I'm literally in the mirror like every

746
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 1: day after that. But I think it takes like a

747
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,239
Speaker 1: good like two weeks for your body to kind of

748
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,319
Speaker 1: be like, oh, okay, you're trying to do a little something,

749
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: but there's a science to that. Then by four weeks

750
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 1: you're like, oh okay, I'm starting to see something and

751
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 1: there's an exact science to that. The first two weeks

752
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 1: is you're teaching your body to be in shape to train.

753
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 1: The first two weeks you don't even really do anything

754
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: to change your body except get in shape. Lost half

755
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:43,879
Speaker 1: the people it's the truth, because people expect to see

756
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 1: something after the first workout and second workout. The first workout,

757
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 1: you're not even really going hard enough to see change.

758
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 1: You only realistically start to see change after week three,

759
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 1: four or five. If you continue working out at an

760
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: intense pace and you continue to change the workouts. Yeah,

761
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 1: what happens in the first three weeks are people you

762
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 1: usually quit because it's a shot to your body. You

763
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 1: get sore, you hurt, your chest hurts, and you're like,

764
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 1: I can't do this, I'm done, So you quit before

765
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 1: you actually saw any real results. By the three to

766
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,879
Speaker 1: four week moment, that's when your heart is strong enough

767
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: to deal with intense workouts. That's when your length, your

768
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: legs are strong enough to see I can push a

769
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 1: little harder. And then from that moment you start to

770
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 1: do some real intense shit that really gets your body changing,

771
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 1: and the ship falls it literally the first three to

772
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:34,760
Speaker 1: four weeks, it's like it's nothing happening, nothing happening, intense, intense, intense.

773
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: Now was falling off brou and add two more weeks

774
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 1: onto that first two weeks. Yeah, you didn't have a baby, Yeah,

775
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: because your pelvit floor and your abdomen talk about it

776
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 1: literally feels like putty. Like I remember having to be

777
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 1: in like a like a waste train or filet situation

778
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 1: after the baby because my organs felt like they were

779
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 1: like gonna fall out. Yeah, the doctor says, you had

780
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 1: this what is it, that stasis RECTI pronouncing it right,

781
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's where the muscles literally separate in your abdomen.

782
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: And I was very, very deliberate throughout all four pregnancies

783
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 1: of doing transverse abdominal muscle exercises. That was just even

784
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 1: while pregnant, squeezing my core and doing like ten to

785
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 1: twenty a day, like if I would remember, I would

786
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 1: just do it or still trying to just like keep

787
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 1: my core intact because if people used to laugh that

788
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 1: I'd still had two ab muscles at the top of

789
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 1: my stomach even while I was like eight that months pregnant.

790
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,279
Speaker 1: But I'm hoping that that's what kind of helped to

791
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 1: hoping I can tell you're my stomach again, because a

792
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 1: lot of women can't recover from that, like they'll have

793
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 1: to get a tummy tuck to have their ab muscles

794
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 1: stitched back together. I can tell you that that is

795
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 1: definitely the reason that why you've been able to bounce

796
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 1: back every single time, because your muscles are your muscles

797
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 1: can atrophy after a while of not using a muscle.

798
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 1: It dies, so imagine you find out that you're pregnant,

799
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 1: and you're like, okay, first trimester, I'm not gonna do

800
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,360
Speaker 1: any workout's want to make sure I get through the

801
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 1: first trimester. Then the second trimester, you start to feel better,

802
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 1: but your stomach is growing and you're kind of like, hey,

803
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: I'm not in the mood to work out. I'mant I'll

804
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:12,240
Speaker 1: start working out after i'm done. Then the third trimester,

805
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: your stomach really grows. Now you spent six months of

806
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 1: not using your abdominal muscles at all. Now the baby

807
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 1: is growing and your abdominant wall is starting to stretch.

808
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 1: There's no muscle fiber there to keep it tight and

809
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 1: keep it together. The reason why this isn't good too,

810
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: is because working out during your pregnancy helps you with labor.

811
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,879
Speaker 1: Your ability to contract and squeeze and push through comes

812
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:37,280
Speaker 1: from your abdominal cavity and that trans transverse abdominal movement.

813
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,720
Speaker 1: So when you work out throughout the pregnancy, it allows

814
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 1: you to squeeze through, which is also why Codeine has

815
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 1: also had really good deliveries because she's worked out the

816
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 1: entire pregnancy. But imagine for nine months you don't do

817
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 1: any of those things, and you just let your abdominal

818
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 1: wall pretty much decay because as the muscles atrophy, it

819
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 1: just sits and nothing happens. They go away. Then you

820
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 1: have the breast. You don't feel like working out. You

821
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 1: had another three to six months. Now you're going on

822
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,320
Speaker 1: almost two years of not using them, of dominant walls,

823
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 1: and the first time you go work out, you're like,

824
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 1: let me do some sit ups. You go to sit up,

825
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:18,280
Speaker 1: you can't move. We've watched it. I've cried through coming

826
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 1: back after every baby. Yes, for that particular reason. You

827
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:26,800
Speaker 1: do a jumping jacket, piss yourself like you're a whole bladder,

828
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 1: and everything is just weak. Everything is weak. And I

829
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,919
Speaker 1: get it, and I get it, but it gets better.

830
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 1: Sis to my postpartum moms that are listening, don't put

831
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,800
Speaker 1: a time frame on it. Now. Whenever you're good and

832
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:42,800
Speaker 1: ready to feel like getting up and moving again, you

833
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 1: get up and move again. I told him how to

834
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,919
Speaker 1: go to hell several times last year because I said,

835
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,520
Speaker 1: you have not carried about one baby up in here. Okay,

836
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 1: so what you're not about to do is tell me

837
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 1: what I need to be doing. But eventually it clicks

838
00:41:57,760 --> 00:41:59,839
Speaker 1: for me. I felt like I needed to get back

839
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,839
Speaker 1: to a space where I could fit into my clothes again.

840
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: I have a closet full of closed child that I

841
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 1: have not warned some of these things in ages because

842
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 1: there's a hope. Okay, there's a hope and a desire

843
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 1: to get back into certain things. And I feel like

844
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 1: now is the time. Now, it's if not now, then when.

845
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 1: And I'm I'm loving it lifestyle more than more than

846
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 1: I'm loving the booty. I'm loving the outlook. Yeah, because

847
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,239
Speaker 1: we both had health scares no one. That I have

848
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:37,560
Speaker 1: a partner that's invested in a long term health plan, yes,

849
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 1: and wellness plan means a lot because I can look

850
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,879
Speaker 1: over to my left and be like, she, she's gonna

851
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:44,320
Speaker 1: be all right, We're gonna be here together. So that

852
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 1: that makes me feel good. I mean, you got to

853
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 1: control what you can control, right, And I feel like

854
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 1: there's certain things that you don't have control over. Yeah. Um,

855
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 1: God forbid, you can walk outside and get hit by lightning,

856
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 1: you know. Um. But if health is the one thing

857
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 1: that we have to take control of, especially after having

858
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 1: preclampsia and that being a possible indicator for me having

859
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 1: high blood pressure later on, I'm trying to negate all

860
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 1: that now, and I'm trying to be proactive rather than reactive.

861
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,840
Speaker 1: All right, y'all, so we can dispel the myths, so

862
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,239
Speaker 1: we can dispel the rumors. Kidding his night, how to

863
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 1: b b all, y'all. I'm just over here living in

864
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 1: my Jamaican goodness and just trying to keep it up.

865
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 1: I just want to keep my asks up by my

866
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: shoulders and not by my ankles by age. As I age,

867
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be Betty and Benjamin by n y'all. Okay,

868
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 1: that's what we're trying to do. We're trying to find

869
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 1: the found to do your fount of view. But what

870
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:40,800
Speaker 1: we did find is some listener letters, all y'all. I

871
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:42,959
Speaker 1: found those for sure. So we're gonna take a quick break.

872
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 1: We're gonna listen to get into some ads. And I

873
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,320
Speaker 1: heard Photo crying around the corner. We're gonna check on

874
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:49,839
Speaker 1: him too. We'll be back. We'll be back for sure.

875
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 1: All right, and we're back. You want to go first, Darling,

876
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 1: or shall I? Yeah, I'll read first, because you've been

877
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 1: going first the last couple of weeks. All right. Number one, Hey,

878
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 1: Codeine and de Valle, I hope y'all both are doing amazing.

879
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:15,279
Speaker 1: We are thank you so much, and the family as well.

880
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: The family is great. We hope the same for you.

881
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 1: My name is Shay and I've been dating a guy

882
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 1: for two years. We have really, really good times, and

883
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 1: from time to time my arguments come from nowhere and

884
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,320
Speaker 1: are really bad, bad to a point where if he

885
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 1: doesn't get his way, he threatens to kill himself. That's

886
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,800
Speaker 1: not healthy. My relationship before him was really abusive, so

887
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 1: I now catch myself walking on pins and needles. That's

888
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 1: not good. He blames his childhood and his past on

889
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: how he navigates life, including our relationship, and now I

890
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 1: am in a space where I no longer feel safe

891
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: emotionally or mentally. I don't want to change him as

892
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 1: a man. I want him to do that himself, but

893
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 1: now I am at odds on staying or leaving. When

894
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 1: we do have a disagreement, intense to put all of

895
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: the blame on me, and when I shut down, I

896
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 1: get bashed for being closed off and distant because now

897
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 1: I no longer feel open enough to share anything with him,

898
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,959
Speaker 1: including how I'm feeling and my thoughts as a whole.

899
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 1: He continues to make plans for the future, but at

900
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 1: this moment, I am not seeing anything with him in

901
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,760
Speaker 1: the future until he can get it together. At times,

902
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:15,239
Speaker 1: I catch myself blaming myself as well, and now I

903
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,759
Speaker 1: am completely numb to not just him, but everyone outside

904
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,359
Speaker 1: of my kids, who have never witnessed any of our disagreements,

905
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 1: thank god, but they love him to pieces, and I

906
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 1: am really stuck on what to do than that sucks.

907
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 1: When I did decide to cut him loose, he popped

908
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 1: up at my house and I instantly was taken back

909
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 1: to when I was getting abuse all over again. He

910
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,600
Speaker 1: didn't hit me. All he did was cry and begged

911
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 1: for us to work through it. But I really don't

912
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:42,799
Speaker 1: know if I can any guidance for a thirty two

913
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 1: year old that is literally lost. Check this out. Abuse

914
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 1: comes in all forms. Just because someone doesn't hit you

915
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 1: doesn't mean they're not abusing you. Abuse can also come

916
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 1: in the form of manipulation, yes, and I'm not saying

917
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 1: that he's using this as a way to manipulate you,

918
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 1: but saying things like I'm going to kill myself and

919
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,839
Speaker 1: begging to take me back and all of these things

920
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:08,240
Speaker 1: is abusive to someone who's already been through an abusive

921
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 1: relationship because that's triggering for you. And what I think

922
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 1: you should do is be open and honest with him

923
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 1: about how you feel and what you need to feel

924
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 1: safe in this relationship. If he is not willing to

925
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,719
Speaker 1: work on those things to make you feel safe emotionally

926
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 1: and both physically, I do think it's okay for you

927
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 1: to move on. And what happens to him at this

928
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:31,319
Speaker 1: point is not on you. You know, you have one

929
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:34,240
Speaker 1: inaliable right and not to survive by any means necessary

930
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 1: and have fun doing it. But you also have a

931
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 1: right to protect your children. And what you don't want

932
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 1: is to find yourself. Yes, you don't want to find

933
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,800
Speaker 1: yourself in a position where you cannot protect your children,

934
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 1: not from harm, but from seeing something or seeing someone

935
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 1: harm theirself, him to harm themselves. Talk to him, but

936
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 1: make it clear what you need and what you want,

937
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 1: and if he's not able to provide that, babe, it

938
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 1: is okay to do what to do what's best for

939
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 1: your mental health, your safety, and your children's safety. That

940
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:04,800
Speaker 1: was very well said, touching a lot of things that

941
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 1: I was touching on, so we won't get redundant. Girl.

942
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:10,719
Speaker 1: Good luck to you definitely hope. So you hope that

943
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 1: you guys are able to figure things out together that

944
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 1: makes sense for you, Yeah for sure. All right, Hey guys,

945
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 1: let me start by saying, I love you guys on

946
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 1: your perspective on millennial love. Thank you for all you do.

947
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 1: Thank you. Now. I am newly single, but have been

948
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 1: in a terrible cycle of fuck boys. I'm thirty three

949
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 1: years old, to very good care of myself, work, no kids,

950
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 1: have everything on my own. I say that to say

951
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 1: I'm looking for a partnership long term. I'm not a

952
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:46,480
Speaker 1: city girl. I love the thought of everlasting love. I

953
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 1: don't need a sponsor or consistent dick. I believe I

954
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:54,279
Speaker 1: attract the same exact type of guy. I've been in

955
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 1: three long term relationships, starting at sixteen, one for eight years,

956
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 1: next for two years, and the last for six years.

957
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:04,280
Speaker 1: I try to have the heavy conversations about kids, marriage

958
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 1: and building together very early on, but still end up

959
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:11,280
Speaker 1: in the same results. What tips can you provide about

960
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:15,400
Speaker 1: dating in the future? It is it the places that

961
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:18,799
Speaker 1: I go to? Is it the expectations? Anything helps? At

962
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 1: this point, Uh, he's bubbling over over here because because

963
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:30,080
Speaker 1: she's attracting boys, is that just what it is. Okay,

964
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 1: So here's my thing, right, You attract what you put out.

965
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 1: It's number one. Number two, you also have to use

966
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 1: discernment on who you're going to give your time. If

967
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:41,800
Speaker 1: you keep dating the same type of guy, that's a

968
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:45,760
Speaker 1: u problem. That's not the guy's problem. You're not using

969
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,960
Speaker 1: your past experiences to make better choices. You're just repeating

970
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:52,759
Speaker 1: the same behavior. And that's not saying you're a bad person.

971
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 1: But at some point you have to realize if I

972
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,399
Speaker 1: keep dating the same guy over and over again, it's

973
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 1: not them, it's me. If you realize that this is

974
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,320
Speaker 1: the same guy avoiding because you can attract this, but

975
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,759
Speaker 1: you don't have to sit in it exactly. You know

976
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like it can be coming your way

977
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 1: and you'd be like, ah, love red flags nowadays, right, Oh,

978
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 1: I see a red flag popping up this time for

979
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 1: me to make my exit for sure. But you also too,

980
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 1: like she said, at least she's it seems like you're

981
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 1: deliberate about having the conversations early on, and I'm hoping

982
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:26,320
Speaker 1: that in having those conversations and continue to be deliberate

983
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,840
Speaker 1: about what you want and what you are looking for

984
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,759
Speaker 1: will also help to bring the right kind of guy along,

985
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 1: because what you don't want to do is end up

986
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,359
Speaker 1: in these quote unquote because she put put the long

987
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 1: term in quotes. Yeah, these long term quote unquote relationships

988
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 1: that are really going nowhere? Because is he wanting the

989
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:45,040
Speaker 1: same thing? Right? What exactly are you looking for and

990
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 1: what are you presenting? And she seems to present someone who's,

991
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 1: like she says, has been taking care of herself, doing

992
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 1: her thing, working and all that. But what exactly are

993
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 1: you putting out there that you're bringing this back? This

994
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 1: is what I have a question for. Right, women off

995
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:03,440
Speaker 1: to say, I attract fuck boys? Right? Do you like

996
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 1: fuck boys? Because if you keep entertaining and dealing with

997
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 1: fuck boys, it's like, is that what you're chasing? You

998
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:11,919
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, is that what you're chasing? Because

999
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:14,840
Speaker 1: it's the same thing my homeboys? Right? So many of

1000
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:16,719
Speaker 1: the young kids that I'm doing and fuck these bitches,

1001
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 1: they always want one thing. They'd be doing the same thing.

1002
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 1: I said, Bro, you date the same girl? Oh some

1003
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:24,320
Speaker 1: of them even look exactly the fucking same. Bro, Like

1004
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 1: at something and don't hit me with all women are

1005
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 1: the same. They are not all the women you date

1006
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 1: are the same, And I asked, I asked them, these

1007
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:36,879
Speaker 1: are my homies. Are you attracted to that? And then

1008
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: find yourself turned off when you have to deal with

1009
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 1: the issues that come with that. For example, one of

1010
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 1: my homeboys owned I don't call them gold diggers because

1011
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 1: I don't think they're gold diggers. I think there are

1012
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 1: a certain type of women who know that, Hey, I'm gorgeous,

1013
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:56,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna marry well, and I'm going to marry a

1014
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 1: certain caliber man. And if you can't provide these things

1015
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 1: for me financially, I'm going to use you until I

1016
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 1: find someone else who can do better. There are some

1017
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:07,520
Speaker 1: women who are just like they don't they don't care

1018
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 1: about anything else but that that's the woman that he

1019
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 1: always go after. And when I tell you, it's like

1020
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: carbon copy after carbon they even dressed the same, if

1021
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 1: they follow each other on Instagram that it's like, bro,

1022
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:22,839
Speaker 1: they go to the same places. They some of them

1023
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 1: even went to the same high school. Like, dude, how

1024
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 1: do you manage to find it? And it's just like that,

1025
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 1: you know why I look at it? And that's what

1026
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:33,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's the point because draft class, when yeah, class.

1027
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 1: When you see that woman, that's what is attracting to you.

1028
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:39,759
Speaker 1: But you go into that person and say, I'm going

1029
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 1: to change that person and make that person what I

1030
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,320
Speaker 1: want them to be, as opposed to saying I know

1031
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:48,239
Speaker 1: that attracts me, but it's unhealthy for me. How about

1032
00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:50,440
Speaker 1: the people that attract the fun boys and fun girls,

1033
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:53,800
Speaker 1: because this girls who's fun girls too, you attract that,

1034
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 1: that's what you're into. Is problematic. Then you find somebody

1035
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 1: who treats you so oh well, so well, and then

1036
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,320
Speaker 1: you try to pick apart everything that's wrong with this

1037
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 1: person because they're not the usual or typical fuck boy

1038
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:10,279
Speaker 1: and fun girl that you deal with. It's because, to me,

1039
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 1: relationships are like picking a meal. Right. You know, you

1040
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:17,360
Speaker 1: need your vegetables, but you want to eat all the

1041
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 1: wrong shit all the time because it just takes better.

1042
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:24,319
Speaker 1: Right you you know, you're like, man, I should get

1043
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 1: some keen while some brown rice, you know what I'm saying,

1044
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,600
Speaker 1: and some grilled chicken. But nope, I'm gonna eat this

1045
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:33,360
Speaker 1: fried chicken. I'm gonna get me some collar greens, drizzles

1046
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,440
Speaker 1: and syrup and honey, I'm gonna add this cheesecake on top.

1047
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 1: Of it. I'm a drink of sweet and it feel

1048
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:43,880
Speaker 1: good in the moment, but then and that's that's just

1049
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:48,200
Speaker 1: because it looks like it's something you want doesn't mean

1050
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 1: that it's good for you. And you have to start

1051
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 1: listening to yourself and saying to yourself. If I'm only

1052
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 1: attracting fun boys, if I keep dating fuck boys, I'm

1053
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 1: attracted to the dessert. I need the vegetables because the vegetables,

1054
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:05,479
Speaker 1: the vegetables will give you longevity. Now, if you happen

1055
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 1: to be somebody like me, I find vegetables that are healthy.

1056
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:13,239
Speaker 1: You like my candy ams, you know what I'm saying,

1057
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 1: Because the yam is a vegetable, so it's good for me.

1058
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 1: But it's sweet, you know what I'm saying. It's sweet,

1059
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,440
Speaker 1: so it's good for me, and it tastes good. And

1060
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 1: if I don't like his food touching, no, how so

1061
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 1: you don't have his vegetables over here. Meanwhile I'm over

1062
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:28,800
Speaker 1: here like no, I'm about the bite. I need to

1063
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:33,440
Speaker 1: have the coligreens, snack and cheese, the the yam, the

1064
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 1: you go. You took my analogy in a different direction.

1065
00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:42,359
Speaker 1: That wasn't where I was going. But what I will say,

1066
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:45,400
Speaker 1: is that start understanding what's good for you and not

1067
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:47,200
Speaker 1: what you think is going to be a good time.

1068
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,279
Speaker 1: If you start to realize what's good for you, you'll

1069
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,879
Speaker 1: start to date in that vein as opposed to being

1070
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 1: like this will be fun and then getting your heartbroken.

1071
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:56,560
Speaker 1: And that's for men and women, because it ain't just

1072
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 1: fun boys. It's also fun girls. But you have to

1073
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 1: be responsible for your own moment, all right, And that's

1074
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 1: that's only everybody. One thing I don't envy is y'all

1075
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 1: in the dating pool for sure, for sure. All Right, y'all,

1076
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:08,960
Speaker 1: thank you for writing in. We always love to hear

1077
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:10,319
Speaker 1: from you. If you want to be featured as one

1078
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:12,439
Speaker 1: of our listener letters on a future show, be shut

1079
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 1: to email us at Dada's advice at gmail dot com.

1080
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 1: That's d E A D A d V. I know

1081
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:24,120
Speaker 1: I'm better advice. I'm ungry too. That's d E A

1082
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,759
Speaker 1: d A S S A d V I c E

1083
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. All right, moment of truth time.

1084
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 1: So we're talking and Bodi yadi yadi yadi yadi ya

1085
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:38,839
Speaker 1: d my body, um some moment of truth. The truth

1086
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:41,759
Speaker 1: is Katina not get to be b l y'all. I

1087
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:44,000
Speaker 1: could put my hand on the Bible yea um. But

1088
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:45,880
Speaker 1: I think my moment of truth in all of this

1089
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:51,719
Speaker 1: is um, no one is going to do for you

1090
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:55,920
Speaker 1: like you. So at some point you have to realize

1091
00:54:56,520 --> 00:55:00,400
Speaker 1: that you are in control ultimately of all things for

1092
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 1: the most part when it comes to your life, aside

1093
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:05,719
Speaker 1: for stuff that's not within your control. And if one

1094
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 1: thing I can do to control being more productive as

1095
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 1: a mom, as a wife, as a person as cadeine,

1096
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 1: if that means it's working out, if it's taking my

1097
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:20,799
Speaker 1: nutrition under my belt and under control, taking that time

1098
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 1: for me to love on me, it's necessary, and I'm

1099
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:27,320
Speaker 1: going to make the provisions to do that because I

1100
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 1: ain't getting any younger, y'all. I ain't getting any younger,

1101
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:33,279
Speaker 1: and after a while, stuff is going to catch up.

1102
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 1: And we also can't keep talking about the things that

1103
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 1: run in our family, these ailments and these diseases that

1104
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 1: become chronic when we can be preventative rather than reactive.

1105
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:46,120
Speaker 1: So I'm in a space where I'm really trying to

1106
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:49,520
Speaker 1: buckle down on that, and I thank you, sir, for

1107
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,640
Speaker 1: helping me do that, and for being my support and

1108
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:54,759
Speaker 1: my motivation and my drill sergeant on days when I

1109
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 1: don't want to hear it, but I need to hear it,

1110
00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 1: but also knowing when to kind of back off and

1111
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,120
Speaker 1: just say, you know what, she's still figuring it out,

1112
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 1: so I appreciate that. Love you Love you too, baby.

1113
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,239
Speaker 1: My moment of truth is I'm proud of you, um,

1114
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 1: you're killing it? You proud of me? Or you want

1115
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:13,400
Speaker 1: a proud of me? Proud of me? Oh my god, Alicia,

1116
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:16,040
Speaker 1: somehow she always get a gift, y'all. I don't know

1117
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:19,840
Speaker 1: what it is. Proud of me. I'm proud of you.

1118
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:24,520
Speaker 1: Create a gift when I can get moment without buying

1119
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:26,879
Speaker 1: something ahead. Goal weight, like you know, there's a push

1120
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:29,359
Speaker 1: present a goal weight. What's your goal weight? What's your

1121
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:32,840
Speaker 1: goal weight? Right now? I like the way my body's transformed.

1122
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:36,240
Speaker 1: I weigh about about a buck sixty now once fifty

1123
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 1: seven eight. When I get up in the morning on

1124
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:42,719
Speaker 1: an empty stomach, after I pee, take my clothes off,

1125
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 1: I think, if I were to get down, if I'm

1126
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,000
Speaker 1: to put a number on it. I don't really like

1127
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:47,239
Speaker 1: to put a number on I just kind of go

1128
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:48,960
Speaker 1: based off of vibes and how I feel and how

1129
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:52,880
Speaker 1: my close fits, but I've always been comfortable historically at

1130
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 1: one fifty. If I get to that range another twelve pounds. Yeah,

1131
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 1: it's in my arms, it's in my face, like best

1132
00:57:00,239 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 1: places that I feel like I can tighten up. So

1133
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,560
Speaker 1: that's where I'm actively working on. I will say this

1134
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:06,719
Speaker 1: about the weight, I don't think you'll ever be that

1135
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:08,880
Speaker 1: small again because you've been doing so much heavy lifting

1136
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:11,520
Speaker 1: and muscle weights more than fat as thick as your

1137
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,520
Speaker 1: legs have gotten from all. This is the longest you've

1138
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:16,480
Speaker 1: done heavy with lifting since we were doing Married to

1139
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:19,320
Speaker 1: the gym in two thousand and twelve. Yeah, so I

1140
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:21,320
Speaker 1: think you, to be honest, I think you could be

1141
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:24,400
Speaker 1: down to one fifty and lose everything you want in

1142
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:27,240
Speaker 1: your face and your arms. But the way you're building

1143
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 1: your legs, Like my waist is down to where I

1144
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:33,160
Speaker 1: was in college, but I'm two hundred pounds because I've

1145
00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:35,200
Speaker 1: been building muscle the way you've been building muscle here.

1146
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:37,240
Speaker 1: I don't think it's possible, but I do roll arms.

1147
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:41,800
Speaker 1: Have you seen her arms lately between her and Angela Bassett? Yes,

1148
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 1: so they are aren't in Michelle Obama. They arm goals goals,

1149
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:47,240
Speaker 1: but um, it's funny how I was giving my moment

1150
00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 1: of truth and now you just took it over. But

1151
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 1: the whole episode has been honoring you because you you

1152
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:54,480
Speaker 1: actually did a good job, and I was gonna get

1153
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:58,720
Speaker 1: to my moment of truth real quick. A banging body

1154
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 1: is the byproduct of healthy living. That's just what it is. Um,

1155
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 1: you want your girl, your wife, your baby mother to

1156
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 1: look as good as you want to create a safe,

1157
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 1: healthy space to her to live stress free. I think

1158
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:15,160
Speaker 1: that helps a lot. I'll try to make sure that

1159
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:18,560
Speaker 1: you're stress free, make sure you have time, make sure

1160
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 1: you eat right, make sure you sleep, sleep, you drink water,

1161
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 1: and find whatever workout plan works for you consistently. There's

1162
00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:28,919
Speaker 1: no one way the skinny cat. There's thousands of ways

1163
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 1: to skinny cat. And I think that as a man,

1164
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 1: that's yeah. Well, I mean your your cat is skinned.

1165
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 1: He can sell it all my business on good day,

1166
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:52,720
Speaker 1: I like the ball baby, shiny shiny ballaby like like, Okay,

1167
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:55,440
Speaker 1: lazy Harrible has been good to us, Yes, but um,

1168
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 1: that is my moment of truth. I love this woman,

1169
00:58:57,960 --> 00:58:59,920
Speaker 1: and you can be sure to find us on Patreo

1170
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 1: to see exclusive dead Ass podcast video. I wanted to

1171
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:06,280
Speaker 1: do it because you you did all the heavy lifting today,

1172
00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 1: no pun intending when it came to the episode, so

1173
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:11,320
Speaker 1: it's all good. Be sure to find us on Patreon

1174
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:14,640
Speaker 1: and see exclusive Deadass podcast video content, and to find

1175
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:18,640
Speaker 1: us on social media at dead as to podcasts, I'm Cadeen,

1176
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,960
Speaker 1: I am and I am Devout, and if you're listening

1177
00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review, subscribe, scribe,

1178
00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:32,080
Speaker 1: dead Ass, y'all, Badass, y'all, very much alive, Ass, y'all.

1179
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and

1180
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 1: it is produced by the Norapinia and Triple. Follow the

1181
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:43,040
Speaker 1: podcast on social media at dead Ass to podcasts and

1182
00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 1: never miss a Thing,