Speaker 1: Forever.
Speaker 2: Actually your face claims that you're the hater.
Speaker 3: Actually, God hates you, which is why he made you
Speaker 3: look like that.
Speaker 2: Anyway. Welcome to the Individual Expert Podcast. We have started. Baby, Yes,
Speaker 2: in the building the build. Pull over that ass too fast?
Speaker 2: Pull that as too fast?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I need some energy.
Speaker 5: I'm tired. You need some cocaine? No? Absolutely not, you know,
Speaker 5: a friend or something.
Speaker 4: No, I'm just tired. I'm like worn down, worn down.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I did two shows last night, and
Speaker 2: you know I went to work like everybody else. But
Speaker 2: I must have a concusion, concussion or something.
Speaker 5: I don't know. I'm just like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: So you are tired, yes, because you worked and had
Speaker 2: two shows last night and you think you out of concussion.
Speaker 5: Did someone hit you at one of the shows. No?
Speaker 2: Did you slam your head against No, because that's what
Speaker 2: a concussion is, but it feels like it could be.
Speaker 2: What do you think of concussion? Do you think a
Speaker 2: concussion means fatigue? No? You think a concussion is like
Speaker 2: a period side of that, like you could take a motrin.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I must have a concussion.
Speaker 2: Slips she slips like down the stairs.
Speaker 5: Must have a concussion. She comes to work late.
Speaker 2: Must have a concussion. Oh, every time, every time I sleep,
Speaker 2: every time I take a nap at work, I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, I have a concussion. You you know you're not
Speaker 3: supposed to sleep if you have a concussion. Right, that's
Speaker 3: the number one rule. I've heard that about concussion.
Speaker 2: But the way my gud is set up, I don't
Speaker 2: know if.
Speaker 5: We know the same.
Speaker 4: God suit, I can take a nap on my concussion.
Speaker 2: Actually, actually, whenever I get a concussion, go to see
Speaker 2: I wake up well rested.
Speaker 5: That's because you almost died.
Speaker 4: Oh, stay away from the life, friends, Yeah, take a
Speaker 4: trip to heaven.
Speaker 5: Come back.
Speaker 4: Like I'm here, I'm ready to go. Let's work.
Speaker 5: I don't think that you know, I know what it is.
Speaker 4: I'm joking.
Speaker 2: I'm just tired and beatty hard.
Speaker 5: You know, most people have nine to five jobs.
Speaker 4: Fuck those people. They're not creatives.
Speaker 2: They don't have like they know exactly what they are
Speaker 2: doing at work.
Speaker 4: It's very Most people are basic.
Speaker 2: Most people hate their jobs, but like exactly yours is
Speaker 2: not terrible, it's not terrible. But when you have to
Speaker 2: constantly think, I mean, I'm just like pitching stuff and
Speaker 2: thinking about things that I don't normally think about.
Speaker 4: It's a lot.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, oh my god, your life is so hard.
Speaker 5: Wow crazy?
Speaker 2: Okay, Marie, how dare you when you want to talk about,
Speaker 2: you know, how you feel?
Speaker 4: I let you do it.
Speaker 5: When do I talk about my feelings?
Speaker 2: I mean, you've labeled yourself as unemployed, which is not true.
Speaker 5: But I am not unemployed.
Speaker 4: Freelance.
Speaker 2: That's unemployed. That's for It's like, oh, I'm Freeland. When
Speaker 2: somebody says, oh, I'm freelance, I ain't got no job. Noh,
Speaker 2: you live at your mama. He absolutely not the bedroom door.
Speaker 5: You have a sheep there.
Speaker 4: Not unemployed. Unemployed is somebody.
Speaker 2: I'm not even gonna name the names, but there's real
Speaker 2: names of unemployed niggas that have not the offer, have
Speaker 2: not seen an offer, have not seen a show or
Speaker 2: stage in years?
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, that's but that's it's a
Speaker 3: different I'm unemployed light okay. You know during the week,
Speaker 3: I'm not doing like nothing every day, but like you know,
Speaker 3: some weeks, you know, I'll shoot something for somebody, I
Speaker 3: fly out to LA. That's what I was an expert
Speaker 3: in this week is uh, you know, just living my
Speaker 3: best unemployed life, which was my expertise last week, but
Speaker 3: you know, maga business, I honestly was an expert at
Speaker 3: not being prepared because that is what happened. I am
Speaker 3: flying to France for three week solo E prey Ho trip,
Speaker 3: that's what we're calling it. Yes, we're getting shirts, we're
Speaker 3: getting jackets made E prey Ho and my passport expired
Speaker 3: a full year ago and my mom was like, you
Speaker 3: should get it renewed, and I was like time. And
Speaker 3: then I decided to go on this trip six weeks
Speaker 3: ago and I was like, oh, I got it. I
Speaker 3: got to get my passport right.
Speaker 2: So I paid to get it expedited, which was one
Speaker 2: hundred and seventy dollars, so it's one hundred and ten
Speaker 2: to renew it, and then sixty dollars for the expedition expedition.
Speaker 4: I was like what, I was like, do you know
Speaker 4: what an expedition is?
Speaker 2: It's an ugly as car, it's a journey sis, it's
Speaker 2: expedited for the expedition. Yes, Oh can you go back
Speaker 2: and be like, so what's up with my expedition? What's
Speaker 2: going on?
Speaker 5: Listen? Like big black cars?
Speaker 3: Anyway, So I paid all this money and then I
Speaker 3: they sent it back to me.
Speaker 5: They were like you forgot to sign it, so.
Speaker 3: That and then I called them when I was in
Speaker 3: LA and it was like, hey, what's the status and
Speaker 3: they were like, ah, yike, they were like, we haven't
Speaker 3: d started your passport yet.
Speaker 5: I'm leaving in nine days, right, Yeah, we haven't even
Speaker 5: started it yet.
Speaker 2: Dah, so whoa we can put a note on my
Speaker 2: application And I was like, I.
Speaker 3: Paid you guys to do this quickly, and they're like, yeah,
Speaker 3: we had it for two weeks. Couldn't do nothing with it.
Speaker 3: It was just sitting here. Fuck, just sitting there right.
Speaker 4: Stupid dumb.
Speaker 2: I was like, well, can I leave the country and
Speaker 2: then try to sneak back in. I was like, this
Speaker 2: is no climate leave bitch, they won't let me leave. No.
Speaker 3: Well anyway, uh So I called them and I was
Speaker 3: trying to figure out how I'm gonna be able to
Speaker 3: go because they were like, you gotta go to the
Speaker 3: agency in New York in person at seven thirty in
Speaker 3: the morning and then it'll take eight days, which is
Speaker 3: exactly the amount of days that I write. So right,
Speaker 3: it's a lot of I was scared. I was I
Speaker 3: called my Airbnb chick. I was like, hey, sis, something
Speaker 3: wrong with my passport. I might not be able to come.
Speaker 3: I might have to change my dates. I'm looking at
Speaker 3: plane tickets. Everything's like eight hundred dollars one way. I'm like, ah,
Speaker 3: I told everybody I was going to France already that
Speaker 3: I like, and some niggas that I don't like.
Speaker 5: So like, what, I'm just going to stay home in
Speaker 5: the house all.
Speaker 2: Of you know. I was like, listen. I was like,
Speaker 2: we got to figure it out. I was sending you websites.
Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, you can extratit it
Speaker 2: in one day. Yeah, that's what I did.
Speaker 3: I know, but those services I need my passport. I
Speaker 3: need my passport, and then you pay like an extra
Speaker 3: like three hundred dollars and then you get it.
Speaker 5: In like two days. But I don't.
Speaker 4: That's that's what I did. That's exactly what I did.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, I'm freaking out.
Speaker 5: And then that.
Speaker 2: Evening when you have when you were rich friend money, Yes,
Speaker 2: I got an email from them that night and they
Speaker 2: were like, we printed your passport.
Speaker 5: It's we sending it out. You should have it by wednesday.
Speaker 5: So beautiful. So I tracked it. I might have it
Speaker 5: on Monday. So look at God, Godly, look what a
Speaker 5: beautiful ashy God we serve.
Speaker 2: Look at God.
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 2: It's so necessary, so necessary clothing. What were you an
Speaker 2: expert in this week? I'm just like, I'm an expert
Speaker 2: in winghing it. I'll be at work, like what am
Speaker 2: I doing today? People ask me that every day.
Speaker 4: What are you working on? I'm like a script?
Speaker 5: What are you working on?
Speaker 2: Scripts?
Speaker 4: But they're just like not finished.
Speaker 2: I'll like start them and then I'll go look at
Speaker 2: something else, and then like two hours will pass by
Speaker 2: and I like, fuck, what.
Speaker 5: Should be looking at topshop dot com? You don't need
Speaker 5: to shutting down, yo, shut down.
Speaker 2: We're going after the podcast. I went there and it's
Speaker 2: a hot mess. You gotta pay all cash. Everything is
Speaker 2: just cash, and then there's full price shit.
Speaker 4: It's just like, but.
Speaker 2: Y'all niggas is shutting down. Everything should be cash. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you can only pay Hell, they're not trying to pay
Speaker 2: back there exact exactly Moondo.
Speaker 5: That is some hood.
Speaker 2: But I was like, do you think the government doesn't
Speaker 2: know that you're selling this shit?
Speaker 5: And they still got.
Speaker 2: Full price stuff, full price stuff and I looked at
Speaker 2: the girl, like, you think I'm paying this amount for
Speaker 2: these jeans when y'all shutting down in two days.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And that what made me so upset is like,
Speaker 4: y'all work here for what?
Speaker 5: How?
Speaker 4: What is your pay rate? Do you why do you care?
Speaker 5: I'll be like a cool fifteen an hour, give it away.
Speaker 2: If I worked, I'm like, yeah it, take this, take
Speaker 2: a whole rack, Take the actual rack, because we.
Speaker 3: Are about to sh Honestly, I would just be in
Speaker 3: there trying to set it off. If I worked at
Speaker 3: Top Shot, like Legit Jada Pinkins or or our Braid.
Speaker 2: Bob or you know what it is, they're like, Oh,
Speaker 2: if we don't sell this shit, then we can probably
Speaker 2: keep it.
Speaker 3: Right because the website is still gonna be live. You're
Speaker 3: still gonna be able to order stuff from tap shop
Speaker 3: dot com. In the United States, you won't be able to.
Speaker 2: Go to But I'm talking about the workers. If they're like, yeah,
Speaker 2: none of this shit go, then we just get to
Speaker 2: pick through it and take what we want.
Speaker 5: I don't know that this probably not even that cute.
Speaker 5: If you work there, it's probably like.
Speaker 2: Wales Time Shop in Soho. Y'all about to shut down.
Speaker 2: Stop fucking playing with me. And it's a whole bunch
Speaker 2: of brown people working in there with attitudes and it's like,
Speaker 2: since seconds they about to be unemployed.
Speaker 1: Exactly.
Speaker 2: So when you say unemployed, there's people at top shop like,
Speaker 2: bitch you alive?
Speaker 3: I should see if they need some people part time,
Speaker 3: part time to do inventory before close.
Speaker 2: Y'all made, you know, somebody to work ten hours a week.
Speaker 2: Well don't they get like a severance pay or something
Speaker 2: like that at a retail store?
Speaker 5: No, what is wrong with you?
Speaker 4: I've been working, you know, so corp.
Speaker 2: I don't even know how it works for y'all's in
Speaker 2: them the poor.
Speaker 4: So sorry, I don't know how that works anymore.
Speaker 3: Speaking of poor, our expert today is rich Ad Jason. Okay,
Speaker 3: he is an expert on so many things, and we
Speaker 3: want to hit all of them today, right.
Speaker 5: Is that what we settled on as the title is
Speaker 5: Richard Jason.
Speaker 4: Richard Jacent.
Speaker 2: But we're gonna hit you with like a little but spifles,
Speaker 2: spikey little spie expert.
Speaker 4: He's good for that.
Speaker 5: And then and then like nineties black.
Speaker 3: Sitcoms also tall, black, sexy, she boned realness.
Speaker 2: Ye goddess and also rude, rude so much. Yes, yes,
Speaker 2: quite confident.
Speaker 4: Zach Fox came in as rude, but this is also
Speaker 4: the Queen of rude.
Speaker 3: Queen okay, her majesty, Uh, the royal Duchess of Rude.
Speaker 1: Look, I don't think I'm rude. I just don't like
Speaker 1: being disrespected.
Speaker 2: Yes, And on that note, there were so many slashes
Speaker 2: in that.
Speaker 4: Y'all know what we're talking about.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well you'll figure it out. Yeah, we don't know
Speaker 5: what we're gonna title it, but it's gonna be in it.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But he's also a writer for many, many things. He's
Speaker 2: writing on trill right now, shrill, great show, do it up,
Speaker 2: awesome stand up comedian. It's Solomon Georgie Obsess.
Speaker 1: We love you, love you both stand You guys are wonderful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's good to have one of our kind
Speaker 2: in the freaking studio, right because sometimes we're not used
Speaker 2: to you know this. Some people come in and like, hey, guys, it's.
Speaker 1: Like, nah, we need heat, we need no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I cannot be I'm not feeble. I'm not a.
Speaker 2: People we love.
Speaker 5: That's an insult.
Speaker 3: You see somebody and they just respect you say something
Speaker 3: about them is feeble bit of feeble ass bank account balance,
Speaker 3: your feeble ass confidence, feeble ass eyebrows, feeble ass edges. Yes,
Speaker 3: people ass and.
Speaker 1: That's feeble as edges. Ain't that bad.
Speaker 4: When somebody says that bad, that bad?
Speaker 5: I mean they're yeah, that worse.
Speaker 2: I mean Naomi Campbell, I mean remember when that photo
Speaker 2: of her leaked with her edges.
Speaker 5: Like it happens to the best of us.
Speaker 1: Was also that was a disrespectful move on whoever it's
Speaker 1: that photo league.
Speaker 2: The wind because the wind blew the hair back and
Speaker 2: then you were like, oh, she's got no hair to
Speaker 2: her ears.
Speaker 5: She was like, yeah, I'm a forehead go far back.
Speaker 4: Well, that's what it is.
Speaker 2: When you wear wigs, when you wear sewings like all
Speaker 2: of your life and you know, true blend contacts, that's
Speaker 2: what happens. No, but the But there are people who
Speaker 2: wear wigs and weaves regularly and still have healthy hair,
Speaker 2: like Angela Simmons will regularly hit us up with like, hey,
Speaker 2: look at how my hair was doing. Well.
Speaker 1: That's true, but a lot of people can't get like
Speaker 1: if your whole life because you like Martley's he was like,
Speaker 1: what thirteen.
Speaker 5: She's been doing it for like thirty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's back when they were just not using
Speaker 1: any of the right black products.
Speaker 5: They were just put some water in.
Speaker 2: Some jailing it. It was a guy named Tom and
Speaker 2: he's like something about pink lo shit exactly.
Speaker 5: He's like, this is regular lotion, you like you srimp
Speaker 5: like hair.
Speaker 1: Shacking up her black hair, just not giving the fuck.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're right. And it's people in like Europe, you know,
Speaker 5: I don't give no damns.
Speaker 3: They're like they're like VANDILSA assume didn't just we're just
Speaker 3: gonna blow it out.
Speaker 2: We're gonna hit you with some that's good enough right
Speaker 2: way away?
Speaker 1: Though.
Speaker 2: What a shampoo with Like they have like three and
Speaker 2: one like conditioner that's really good. Three and one a shampoo, conditioner,
Speaker 2: body wash, it's really good.
Speaker 1: You know. The ship that I use looks like it
Speaker 1: was made in the black women's basement us like.
Speaker 2: That, like African exactly. It's black soap. It's like a
Speaker 2: regular to wear.
Speaker 4: You have all purpose black soap.
Speaker 2: You can like do your hair, put it on your
Speaker 2: body and Cleanunta you're down.
Speaker 3: Uh So Solomon, tell first of all, let's tell people
Speaker 3: what you look like, uh, real quick, how tall are you?
Speaker 5: And three quarters foot four and three quarter?
Speaker 4: That's how you know what it's proud to be the
Speaker 4: height he is.
Speaker 5: You use it as a credit.
Speaker 1: Look, let people know that I'm here, Like if you're
Speaker 1: at a party and you come with me, you you
Speaker 1: know where I am at all times?
Speaker 5: Well let me look for that ethop.
Speaker 2: And giraffe is here. Yeah, okay, so you are six
Speaker 2: four and three quarters.
Speaker 5: You got on a timy a little a little gray short?
Speaker 2: Are these top Shop?
Speaker 1: These are Athos top.
Speaker 5: But that's why they going bankrupt. People shopping on.
Speaker 1: As well ASO Scott discounts and a better fit. So
Speaker 1: maybe top Shop you need to up your game.
Speaker 4: Talk about it, be about it.
Speaker 5: These are facts.
Speaker 1: Also, let's talk about plus sizes. You don't got none
Speaker 1: top Shop as that's no one at this table is
Speaker 1: plus size, though there is, that is true, but it
Speaker 1: is that a thriving That's how you make a corporation
Speaker 1: thrive is that you care about all sizes.
Speaker 3: Right, and Asos has Q plus sized stuff because Carolina
Speaker 3: shops there like exclusively and she stay in a two
Speaker 3: like she always looks great.
Speaker 2: It's stay in a crop top she's stay in a
Speaker 2: crop top skirt combo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's the thing. If you have Q plus
Speaker 1: size clothing, you're gonna last and you're gonna beat out
Speaker 1: here competition.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: You went the top Shop, no.
Speaker 2: Bottom shop, bottom shop, story from the bottom and you're.
Speaker 5: Right back.
Speaker 3: But also the the heiress of top Shop is dating
Speaker 3: that the hot felon.
Speaker 2: And you know he takes all her money. She's pregnant
Speaker 2: bys and he's taking all her money. You remember the hot.
Speaker 4: She's about to join on the scammer of her she
Speaker 4: didn't even know it.
Speaker 3: He left his wife and like his like three kids
Speaker 3: were hurt to get with this chick.
Speaker 5: But he probably told.
Speaker 4: His wife, listen, listen, you know what I'm doing here.
Speaker 5: This is for us.
Speaker 1: Yeou you want alimony, This only way we're getting alim.
Speaker 4: You know I ain't out of money.
Speaker 2: He's like, he was like, I can't.
Speaker 5: Get no references to jobs.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna bang this arrests and I'm gonna get us
Speaker 2: all some top Shop.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna get us out the hood. And now it's uh.
Speaker 1: And that's she probably was talking about her ideas, like listen, motherfucker.
Speaker 1: If this bitch, is you better go to there?
Speaker 3: Yes, I mean everybody at this table. Would you date
Speaker 3: somebody because they were rich?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 5: What? No, you wouldn't date somebody because they were rich.
Speaker 1: Oh it's been offered.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, we'll talk about it about it. He must
Speaker 5: have been ugly because they usually are.
Speaker 4: But that's fine, though, that's fine.
Speaker 2: Like I've fallen in love with people who are physically unfortunate.
Speaker 4: So it's not like we're rich. No, So that's what
Speaker 4: I'm saying, like if I could be.
Speaker 1: I don't understand what you're saying.
Speaker 2: If people, Yes, ye has dated I have, but you
Speaker 2: were we were all twenty one one.
Speaker 4: No I wasn't, so you've just been forty five the
Speaker 4: whole time.
Speaker 1: No, it has to be one or two or the other.
Speaker 1: Like I'm not like you cannot have both of the
Speaker 1: terrible qualities on the table.
Speaker 2: These are facts.
Speaker 4: Well, those are the people I'm drawn to sometimes.
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean we.
Speaker 5: Found each other.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm quite but you're not ugly all.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's true, but you you said your spidy sentence
Speaker 3: was like bbe baby baby, she's poor.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I'll have I'd rather I would be happy
Speaker 1: with an attractive poor person, then I would be with
Speaker 1: an ugly rich person.
Speaker 2: No, because I feel like attractive four people don't have
Speaker 2: to work hard because they're just like I know what
Speaker 2: I look like, I know what I'm doing here.
Speaker 5: Wow, sidn't you just tell everybody my business? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: No, here's the thing. Attractive people know how to game
Speaker 1: the system, so slaugh them aren't poor because they know
Speaker 1: how to They know how to trick people into give.
Speaker 5: They survive attractive poor people.
Speaker 3: And by poor we mean like not homeless, although you
Speaker 3: know that's the thing too, but like, uh, you know
Speaker 3: how to kind of survive.
Speaker 4: I feel like I call them financially unique. That's what
Speaker 4: it is. We don't have to call them poor anymore.
Speaker 3: Listen, I'll date somebody who's rich and ugly. I have
Speaker 3: no problem, no qualms about that. And when I say date,
Speaker 3: I'm saying that with quotation quotation marks.
Speaker 4: Very loose about it.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, things are like, either don't date rich and ugly,
Speaker 1: because rich and ugly is like I just don't like
Speaker 1: somebody having confidence for something they don't have. They like,
Speaker 1: don't don't walk around with attractive energy, walk around with
Speaker 1: rich energy. I'll be fine.
Speaker 2: Right, what's there?
Speaker 4: What's the difference.
Speaker 1: Well, there's the uh you know, you want to fuck
Speaker 1: me energy, which is like, sir, I don't want to you.
Speaker 1: I want your money.
Speaker 4: I want your money.
Speaker 5: I want your money.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Andrew producer, sexy intern Andrew.
Speaker 4: He came in. He made a run.
Speaker 2: One of these is cream, uh sugar.
Speaker 4: He did a run for us.
Speaker 5: He did a run, Thank you so much. And he
Speaker 5: got some water.
Speaker 2: On My god, money from the Patreon or this is
Speaker 2: out of pocket? Is this why we haven't gotten paid
Speaker 2: in several weeks?
Speaker 5: Oh my god?
Speaker 3: Mu I mean it's a lot of jelly ones in there.
Speaker 3: We love you, shake the munchkins.
Speaker 4: Thanks so much. So Yeah, what's the difference. The rich
Speaker 4: energy is like.
Speaker 3: Rich rich white energy is the equivalent to attractive anything
Speaker 3: else energy, right, And that's.
Speaker 1: The thing is like I don't like. I don't like.
Speaker 1: My issue is like, hey, be ugly, be proud, live
Speaker 1: your life.
Speaker 5: No, I'm like, walk in the alleys.
Speaker 2: Don't don't want them walk amongst us, and don't ask
Speaker 2: me what time it.
Speaker 1: Is, don't present it to me like this is this
Speaker 1: is as good as everybody else, Like, don't try to
Speaker 1: sell me a product that I know isn't that great.
Speaker 5: Well, my thing will tell me what you have that
Speaker 5: you know is great. But maybe they're so confident.
Speaker 2: Maybe men that are ugly are confident because they know.
Speaker 5: The dick is good.
Speaker 4: No, I'm gonna say absolutely not.
Speaker 5: It's also false.
Speaker 2: As I was saying it, I was like, because it's
Speaker 2: a lot of confident ugly people. Because rich people, they'll
Speaker 2: be lazy on other on other ends, like the sex
Speaker 2: or just the conversation, because they're like, well you don't
Speaker 2: like this conversation.
Speaker 4: Let's go to Miami, Let's go to Paris, Let's wait
Speaker 4: to Blacco.
Speaker 5: What ugly? What rich?
Speaker 2: Ugly people you speak to that are that are boring?
Speaker 2: But god like jets ready to go so many you know,
Speaker 2: it's work at a fucking bar for ten years that
Speaker 2: it was like the best of the best of New
Speaker 2: York City was walking in there, and I would see
Speaker 2: people roll their eyes talking to people and they're like,
Speaker 2: they have nothing to talk about, but they didn't pay
Speaker 2: for this whole table.
Speaker 4: Were going back to the loft. We we have a
Speaker 4: weekend trip.
Speaker 5: This weekend. We're leaving tonight. We find out this sight
Speaker 5: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I love that I would.
Speaker 5: I would hang out with a fun, ugly, rich person.
Speaker 1: See that I don't have that problem is just I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't have the part where I have to become
Speaker 1: an actor and be like, oh, you are attractive, Like no.
Speaker 3: Oh, no, I've never I I dated the dude once
Speaker 3: and he would always tell me that I was pretty.
Speaker 3: Like you know when you're having your like intimate with
Speaker 3: somebody and they hit you with the you're so beautiful
Speaker 3: and you just hit them with the things things.
Speaker 5: But I don't think man to hear that back then.
Speaker 2: But it would be an awkward silence every single time
Speaker 2: because I'm I'm not an actress.
Speaker 5: She's not out here booking scripted things.
Speaker 1: No, they're they're they're waiting for their compliment to you, right, and.
Speaker 2: You're just You're like one time, I was like, you're
Speaker 2: so nice, and you know when a woman says he's nice,
Speaker 2: he's ugly. I'm like, I love your neck. It is
Speaker 2: one of the best. You don't have a line or
Speaker 2: wrinkle on it.
Speaker 5: I was like, what kind of pillows are these?
Speaker 2: Wow, it's down, it's down, pigeon fed.
Speaker 4: I would to just grabbed his hands and be like,
Speaker 4: you have the softest hand.
Speaker 5: That's not attractive to have her mar.
Speaker 1: Lows are so proportioned, that is that is that would
Speaker 1: scare the That is just some serial killer.
Speaker 5: Your earlobes are so symmetrical.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the great thing is that at least I'm
Speaker 1: not rich and ugly. I'm rich and attractive. So that's
Speaker 1: very in confident.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about where you're from.
Speaker 1: Where I'm from. I'm from a lot of places.
Speaker 4: Talk about it.
Speaker 1: She's on the run, she's on the run. Jesus, don't
Speaker 1: don't track me down.
Speaker 5: Okay, snapped right now.
Speaker 1: I live in l A, born in a refugee camp
Speaker 1: in Khartoum, Sudan. Say one more time, cartoon Sudan, Kartan.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know.
Speaker 4: Your accent is weird?
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, we don't have an accent. We
Speaker 2: don't have a Sudanese due lingo.
Speaker 1: It's Arabic. That's a language. Yeah, that's a common bud No.
Speaker 1: I was born in Sudan. My family's Ethiopian.
Speaker 5: M hmm.
Speaker 1: We came to America when I was three and we
Speaker 1: went We lived in Saint Louis Missouri first with Nelly,
Speaker 1: you know, oh yeah, they were just hanging out. He
Speaker 1: already had his band aid on.
Speaker 2: You landed in Saint Louis. Why how do people how
Speaker 2: do you Ethiopian people end up in Saint Louis? Did?
Speaker 2: Did they know people?
Speaker 1: It's your like when for this kind of programming, like
Speaker 1: it was we were like we were the flavor of
Speaker 1: the decade, Like everybody wanted Ethiopians to be be to eat, and.
Speaker 4: So Saint Louis was like, yeah, let's.
Speaker 1: We had a spot.
Speaker 2: Some of those long necks, perfectly proportioned, head shaped. You know,
Speaker 2: they look a little tired and that's fine.
Speaker 5: They got skin.
Speaker 3: When you see Theopians on the street, you recognize them
Speaker 3: right away.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know, right, it's a certain look emon.
Speaker 1: Ethiopian, Yes, no Simonian, Simonian.
Speaker 2: Chairs like you were right on time.
Speaker 5: I was like, I know, yeah, I do not know.
Speaker 2: Strong and wrong, loud and incorrect.
Speaker 5: Me love that's the name of my memoir.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's sort of the same like area. It's like
Speaker 1: we're relatively the same people. We have we have the
Speaker 1: same roots. But yeah, the log next, yeah, the little heads,
Speaker 1: you know, we just we had sex with a lot
Speaker 1: of Caucasians back where that's why, really? And then we
Speaker 1: stopped and we're good, and let's go.
Speaker 2: Back to what There's too many of us that look
Speaker 2: like wet, cold Turkey. Got it? So then you went
Speaker 2: to after Missouri, you went.
Speaker 1: To Fresno, California.
Speaker 4: What, Yeah, the Barrier or.
Speaker 1: Wish Central Valley that's nowhere near the goddamn water.
Speaker 4: Okay it is.
Speaker 2: Well, look at the Bay Area and I'm from.
Speaker 1: The area, and I respect the area. That was my
Speaker 1: dream is to be in the Bay Area. But I
Speaker 1: was in fucking Fresno, which is a shithole of a city.
Speaker 2: They have like weird accents there, right, they're kind of
Speaker 2: like Midwestern or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know. They just don't have teeth because of
Speaker 1: the meth.
Speaker 5: So, oh my god, breaking back.
Speaker 2: Some of my closest friends, some of my best friends are.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I like that. Don't you do that? Don't you
Speaker 5: do that? About shame?
Speaker 2: This is a podcast where everybody doesn't listen.
Speaker 4: Is welcome here teeth to listen to the pod?
Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, your gums.
Speaker 1: You can listen real good on Math's.
Speaker 5: Well they're come home. What do your parents do?
Speaker 1: My parents were both janitors, Okay, got it. They're both
Speaker 1: work two jobs.
Speaker 5: Yep, life of an immigrant.
Speaker 1: My mom will wake up at five in the morning
Speaker 1: making food for the whole family.
Speaker 5: How many of y'all is there?
Speaker 1: I'm one of seven children.
Speaker 5: At that resume, he came, you'll know how to prom
Speaker 5: y'all know how to put some holes in some condoms.
Speaker 1: Oh, we did not have.
Speaker 4: You're like, who needs money when you have family?
Speaker 1: The things that we don't. My parents have used condoms,
Speaker 1: and I remember my dad got a safe sex shirt
Speaker 1: when I.
Speaker 5: Was a kid, a safe sex shirt.
Speaker 1: He got a three suits shirt and they're all wearing condoms,
Speaker 1: and he did not because he's literate and he doesn't
Speaker 1: know what a condomn looks like. He was walking. It
Speaker 1: was his favorite shirt for two years and he got
Speaker 1: so many.
Speaker 5: They were they had their dicks out on the shirt.
Speaker 1: No, they had condoms on their heads, and he thought
Speaker 1: they were just funny hats.
Speaker 5: Oh, your dad is your day?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is your dad's name Samuel?
Speaker 1: His name is johannas j that's a hot name.
Speaker 5: Johanna sounds Greek, it sounds Mediterranean.
Speaker 1: It is Greek.
Speaker 4: He sounds good looking. That's what I'm about.
Speaker 1: To say, because it's Ethiopia has been like with them,
Speaker 1: like we're like a big trading post civilization Greek Hebrew,
Speaker 1: like all that area.
Speaker 5: Just Hebrew is Hebrew people and Hebrew people.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know if you know this. They were,
Speaker 1: they were slaves for a bit nearby in the country
Speaker 1: right above us.
Speaker 2: Okay, if I'm looking at if I'm looking at a
Speaker 2: map of Africa, where is Ethiopia on the map.
Speaker 1: Ethiopia is right at there's you know what the horn
Speaker 1: of Africa is? Yes, uh rich is that corner?
Speaker 5: I don't know what word you just say it.
Speaker 1: It has a little corner piece right above Ja and
Speaker 1: Ethiopia is a landlocked by but it's right under.
Speaker 5: So it's right below Egypt.
Speaker 1: It goes Egypt, Sudan, Ethiopia.
Speaker 5: A look at us learning things? You see that? I
Speaker 5: see it in my mind.
Speaker 2: You're very educational, educational knowing where my country is very
Speaker 2: you're very educated. Well, no, I'm like educational, like you're teaching,
Speaker 2: you're learning teaching. I don't know, that's not that's like
Speaker 2: when I said expedition.
Speaker 1: I think the word you're looking for is informative.
Speaker 2: Informative, Yeah, say educational if that word means something else,
Speaker 2: like hold on, bitche Well you can keep talking.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna look this up, like you're very educational. Something
Speaker 3: can be educational. But I don't think a person can.
Speaker 5: I don't know. Yeah, Judges, I think you're.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're using it.
Speaker 2: You are the person speaking.
Speaker 4: It's weird coming out of your mouth. You're right, you're right.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think you're wrong. It's just no one
Speaker 1: does that.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, I'm not gonna say my friend has
Speaker 2: a concussion.
Speaker 4: I'm tired.
Speaker 5: Guys, she con cooks.
Speaker 2: Okay, left Bresno and then where that we moved Seattle, Washington.
Speaker 5: Seattle where you linked up with Jack Knight.
Speaker 4: Rude last night? Yeah, Palm trees shady.
Speaker 1: You know he's ever been rude to me?
Speaker 5: Oh, he's not rude to me. He was rude to
Speaker 5: us when he left our podcast.
Speaker 1: Is he is reckless? Which I do enjoy it. I
Speaker 1: do love a reckless negro. It's hands down one of
Speaker 1: my favorite elements.
Speaker 5: Well, he's doing really well. He's a writer for Blackish Neck.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yes, oh, network money, network money here you do the pod?
Speaker 2: Just bigger things happen, Honestly, and truly that's what happens.
Speaker 2: You see, we started the podcast, and then Sydney got
Speaker 2: a job. We started, we started the podcast. I got
Speaker 2: my passport hopefully on time.
Speaker 4: How long did you stay in Seattle?
Speaker 1: I was there for sixteen years?
Speaker 5: God Dan doing comedy. You went to prom in Seattle?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was my lesbian friend.
Speaker 2: Hope, lesbian friend named Hope. What does she wear? Did
Speaker 2: y'all both wear suits?
Speaker 4: Hope is We were definitely a lesbian.
Speaker 1: Neither of us route so, but she did so. We
Speaker 1: in like a flask pocket into her dress.
Speaker 2: Okay, very very gay and very home depot.
Speaker 1: And also like a place for cigars too. She had
Speaker 1: like a car, that's she bought cigars.
Speaker 2: Hope was older than all of Y'allpe was thirty.
Speaker 5: At the prom twenty three Jump Street or whatever the
Speaker 5: name is.
Speaker 1: She showed up with like like she had like scotch
Speaker 1: and I was like, Hope.
Speaker 2: Definitely, that was definitely somebody's auntie.
Speaker 1: Like I think, I'm not surprised. I Hope was a
Speaker 1: ghost from the past.
Speaker 2: She just came to help you get through the prom.
Speaker 2: That's your guardian angel there, fairy.
Speaker 1: God two hundred years ago. But I'm just here.
Speaker 5: She's like, I see you.
Speaker 1: I'm here to help this little game nigger get through.
Speaker 5: Do you remember what you wore to prom Oh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my hair Scott red to match my Scott Red shirt.
Speaker 4: Lady, Like, so your had already came out?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, now you you thought you was in the
Speaker 2: closet with that the door was clear.
Speaker 1: Since yike, there was nothing transparent about me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you didn't have to come out. They were like, yeah,
Speaker 4: we know.
Speaker 5: It was like he was.
Speaker 1: And I told my brothers, They're like, I made them
Speaker 1: pause the video games, like I need to tell you
Speaker 1: guys something. And they're like, and I told them, They're like,
Speaker 1: you made us interrupt.
Speaker 2: You paused for that, You paused, crashed by for this.
Speaker 1: Okay, Like we see me eat popsicles for twenty.
Speaker 3: Like you eat popsicles like Jill Scott. You eat them
Speaker 3: like Joe Scott. You you caressed the ball.
Speaker 1: Wow, Yeah, you don't need don't even wait for them
Speaker 1: to melt.
Speaker 5: You'd just be biting it, crying the.
Speaker 1: Slide it right on that love it.
Speaker 2: Sixteen years in Seattle. Then you took your you know, sex, yeah,
Speaker 2: to La to be very La.
Speaker 1: Well, I wasn't. Actually I was working as a surfer.
Speaker 1: I wasn't being an extra.
Speaker 2: Feel like you as a server still very extra. You
Speaker 2: were twirling with the trail. I feel like you were
Speaker 2: like pouring wine with a flourish.
Speaker 1: I was, I believe.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think you were.
Speaker 4: I think you would talk to people, you would have fun.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't take it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you wouldn't take your job too seriously.
Speaker 1: No, I took my job very serious. Really, I was
Speaker 1: very good at my job.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 4: I feel like you could be really good at your
Speaker 4: job and not be that serious.
Speaker 2: Okay, tell them sins. You could take naps at work
Speaker 2: and still be good at your joy.
Speaker 1: And somebody with an immigrant work ethic.
Speaker 2: Is regular, regular, simply simply black, simply yeah. Yeah, it's like, oh.
Speaker 4: It's not on the menu. I have no problem going
Speaker 4: to ask the chep. Hey, you just put a little
Speaker 4: extra there.
Speaker 2: Wow. You know, I feel like somebody who's too serious
Speaker 2: about their job. Oh, absolutely not. That's not on them
Speaker 2: and we cannot help.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no that's not. That's like I'm good like
Speaker 1: I was. I was good at customer service like I was,
Speaker 1: Like I was the kind of server you showed up
Speaker 1: and you complained too much, I would make sure you're
Speaker 1: you left happy. Like I was the one that if
Speaker 1: there somebody came in with a bad yup review, they'd
Speaker 1: be like solid.
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, okay, so okay.
Speaker 3: So what me and Sidney show up? You're this is
Speaker 3: X amount of years ago you're serving us. Yes, we're
Speaker 3: not happy about anything.
Speaker 5: What you're gonna do?
Speaker 1: I'm like, the food is cold.
Speaker 2: Uh, it's not. There's no salt on the table, the
Speaker 2: fries trash we ordered for some reason. We also ordered
Speaker 2: eggs and they just put the slice of cheese on top.
Speaker 5: It's not even melted.
Speaker 1: What you're going so sorry? I'm so I'm so sorry
Speaker 1: that I happened to you that should have never happened
Speaker 1: to the beginning. First of all, I'm going, I'm not
Speaker 1: you're not paying for any of this.
Speaker 5: That's what I thought.
Speaker 2: All right, that's what.
Speaker 5: Let me go ahead and get a lemonade.
Speaker 1: You know what you're We're gonna correct this and whatever.
Speaker 1: We're also not gonna make you pay for that either.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you are. You are a good server. You are
Speaker 5: good at your job when.
Speaker 2: You when you comp everything and be like, let me
Speaker 2: get you something out that's that's great.
Speaker 1: Well, that's the things that you want to call Like,
Speaker 1: that's things like most restaurants would rather comp than have
Speaker 1: you leave pissed off and bad right value of yep
Speaker 1: with you? And that's what I was like, Fuck, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't give a ship. Yeah I don't know this company.
Speaker 2: But wait, being such a people's pleaser, a people pleaser,
Speaker 2: how did you get to be like so confident, so like,
Speaker 2: you know, rich adjacent Because I feel like taking care
Speaker 2: of people sometimes looks like feels like people.
Speaker 4: Kind of look down upon you a little bit.
Speaker 1: That depends, like I think people can you can bet
Speaker 1: you can be a caretaker and put limitations on how
Speaker 1: people you can put limitations and being taken advantage of.
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, no your work friend.
Speaker 1: That's that's things like when like I'm always happy to
Speaker 1: help other people, but they also know that they owe me. Now, no,
Speaker 1: you don't owe me nothing.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's talk about Salomon. We didn't go in to
Speaker 2: the dinner a couple of times.
Speaker 5: Now we've got to have several brunches.
Speaker 1: That's a different situation. As black women, I owe you
Speaker 1: more than you ever owed me.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, yeah, Michael Jackson.
Speaker 4: Podcast is over.
Speaker 5: Now you just let's.
Speaker 2: Talk about it.
Speaker 3: Sydney and I went out to eat and Salomon was like, listen,
Speaker 3: when there are black women at the table, they don't pay.
Speaker 3: And Cydney and I were like, almost.
Speaker 4: Threw my wig across the room.
Speaker 2: I threw my whilet across the street.
Speaker 1: I try to do it as often as I possibly can't.
Speaker 1: It's just it makes it's beautiful.
Speaker 5: I love that. Are you close with your mom? Oh?
Speaker 1: No, she don't like me. No, but she don't like you.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 1: No, we're fine, Like we're not like we're close and
Speaker 1: like we'll talk every once in a while.
Speaker 4: But she listened to the podcast What's Up?
Speaker 1: She don't listen to the podcasts.
Speaker 5: What's your mama name?
Speaker 1: You have to give her phone first, she would, what's
Speaker 1: your mom's name? Amana mana mana mana mana mana mana Na.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I think that when I when you did
Speaker 2: that for us, that is kind of like a rich trait.
Speaker 2: Like a lot of people who have money like to
Speaker 2: take care of other people.
Speaker 4: I've gone to like.
Speaker 2: Many trips with friends and the person who has the
Speaker 2: most money is like, oh, we're going to noble, don't, oh,
Speaker 2: don't take your card out.
Speaker 4: Nope, we're gonna get this boat. That are not We're.
Speaker 3: Gonna get this boat. That's the only sentence I want
Speaker 3: to hear. Summer twenty nineteen.
Speaker 2: Oh, we gonna get this boat.
Speaker 1: Like with restaurants, I'm I'm particular because I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just do not want to be in that position again,
Speaker 1: as where I'm the table full of comedians and all
Speaker 1: of us pull out our cards and we start pulling
Speaker 1: out a pan started doing like none of us are
Speaker 1: good at math. So I don't know why that's true.
Speaker 1: I just I would rather just be like, just please
Speaker 1: take my card. All these fools need to come down.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it does get messy, right, but then also you
Speaker 2: don't ask people to venmo you like, I feel like
Speaker 2: that's something that like, like if I was pulling my
Speaker 2: card off, first of all, I would never for a
Speaker 2: bunch of for a bunch of comedians, I'd be like,
Speaker 2: everybody got a ventoment twenty two dollars ninety eight cents now,
Speaker 2: and then.
Speaker 4: We lead amazing.
Speaker 2: I think it's it shows a lot about you that
Speaker 2: you're like, first of all, you know, we at the diner.
Speaker 4: So how much you think this shit is?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean we've gotten some pretty expensive bills at
Speaker 2: the diner. It'll be like a bunch of us and
Speaker 2: you've come to the diner with those many times. It'll
Speaker 2: be like nine of us at the table and the
Speaker 2: check comes and you're like, did they put pratunity on
Speaker 2: their twice? Like god, Marie, Marie definitely did that. You know,
Speaker 2: somebody who ain't got no money. They're like, I think
Speaker 2: I see gratuity times to the front. I was like,
Speaker 2: it's two gratuities on it, and Marie did the math
Speaker 2: and was like, yes, they definitely put it on twice.
Speaker 2: And they did it again in front of me and
Speaker 2: they're like, no, it's They were like, you guys are
Speaker 2: here every week of you guys, please leave.
Speaker 1: But also give me my money.
Speaker 4: Yeah, give me my money. Yeah, I mean I haven't.
Speaker 2: I feel like where you are in comedy like not
Speaker 2: like money is a big deal, but it's just like
Speaker 2: if you have it, if you're making it, if you
Speaker 2: have like a regular job, what is one hundred dollars
Speaker 2: do you?
Speaker 5: Are you good with saving?
Speaker 1: No? Dude, And I never plan on being that way.
Speaker 5: Wow, Okay, Well, you know, live your life and everything.
Speaker 1: But you need to know I am very good at
Speaker 1: saving I do have like I'm very good at making
Speaker 1: sure that everything is taken care of bill wise and
Speaker 1: like at least, but for the most part, like, nah,
Speaker 1: I'm not give a ship if I die poor.
Speaker 2: You can't start poor, get money and poor.
Speaker 1: I think that's the best way to live your life
Speaker 1: because you know what happens all the way up here,
Speaker 1: a lot of good times to start.
Speaker 3: Poor, thirderal country poor, because that's that's what my truth
Speaker 3: is me too. You start okay, twins, start poor, make
Speaker 3: some money, like, start to do well.
Speaker 5: Then when your money starts to go, then you.
Speaker 3: Marry that ugly rich person and then triple your You're worst.
Speaker 2: No, I think that I think all of that is
Speaker 2: like relative and also it's foolish. I've seen so many
Speaker 2: people have tons of money and when it's like at
Speaker 2: the end of the road and they're like at their.
Speaker 4: Last days, they're not really that happy.
Speaker 5: And what old rich people you know that died.
Speaker 4: Don't worry about me that I know that.
Speaker 2: There are relatives of friends of mine like stories that
Speaker 2: I've heard and it's just like at the end of
Speaker 2: the day.
Speaker 4: You can't take any of that money with you.
Speaker 2: And if you allocate it to people, I mean at
Speaker 2: the they're going to be just thinking about, oh are
Speaker 2: you giving me this money when you're about to die?
Speaker 4: What's good?
Speaker 1: See? I just yeah, I'd'd rather go out with nothing,
Speaker 1: not me like I want people. I want to I
Speaker 1: want somebody look at me at the life, like what happened?
Speaker 5: You want to be a vach one. You want to
Speaker 5: be a temptationous moment.
Speaker 1: I have my glances on my.
Speaker 5: Deathbed, true, you know, but you have no idea.
Speaker 4: You want to be a biggie small behind the music.
Speaker 2: He died penniless in an alley. Yeah, it took four
Speaker 2: weeks for his body.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's how we went, and that's how I would
Speaker 1: like to go as well. No, I'm not gonna go
Speaker 1: like that's doing too much drugs and like I want
Speaker 1: to definitely, Yeah, I want to be sober.
Speaker 2: But you know, if I accidentally have a fire in
Speaker 2: my place, leave me there accidentally.
Speaker 4: You know, creation we ain't gotta have to do a
Speaker 4: funeral for one sister, Like that's how I want to
Speaker 4: go out easy.
Speaker 5: Yes, we're not gonna be able to do open casket.
Speaker 2: I don't want open casket because every time I go,
Speaker 2: every time I've gone to a funeral, I'm like that,
Speaker 2: don't look like that person. That's a terrible lip color
Speaker 2: they put. Why are they wearing this like prince blouse
Speaker 2: in the coffin.
Speaker 5: I feel like a prince blouse when you die, prince blouse.
Speaker 1: Marie, I don't even want to be I don't want
Speaker 1: open casket. I want to be hung in the air like,
Speaker 1: legs spread.
Speaker 4: So you want to be like a museum exhibition.
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 1: I want I want like the whole point of having
Speaker 1: these legs is to show them off. Then you're going
Speaker 1: to close the fucking half casket on them.
Speaker 5: That well, maybe close the top half and leave the legs.
Speaker 1: That can be done.
Speaker 4: How you feel about a wreatha When she did like
Speaker 4: three clothes.
Speaker 5: They crossed her legs at the ankles.
Speaker 4: They changed her outfit three times.
Speaker 5: Are in the casket with the legs croused?
Speaker 1: Look. I think if they didn't change her outfit three times,
Speaker 1: she would have came back to life. And she would
Speaker 1: have came back and dropped her coat on the Excuse me.
Speaker 2: Queen of the starting a show in a full fur
Speaker 2: coat and then just dropping it on the floor. Since
Speaker 2: we know you have money, you didn't have to come
Speaker 2: out in the chinchilla.
Speaker 1: And the part about it that Solomon they got paid
Speaker 1: in cash most of the time.
Speaker 5: That is some old black keep that ship under.
Speaker 1: The piano until her performance was over, her piano her money.
Speaker 1: Maybe like, take my goddamn cash of the piano, and
Speaker 1: then when it's over so I can keep an eye
Speaker 1: on it. Yo.
Speaker 2: Different would tape her money under.
Speaker 1: The telling them to do that while she's performing, so
Speaker 1: that way when she leaves she can take the bank
Speaker 1: and go wow.
Speaker 4: Look to cure the bag.
Speaker 5: To cure that.
Speaker 3: From now on, every time I do stand up, I
Speaker 3: want a piano on stage, a keyboard, not a grand
Speaker 3: a keyboard with a twenty dollars bill or a drink ticket.
Speaker 1: Take that ship.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm gonna be like, pay me in cash.
Speaker 2: No more, venmo, bitch, just give me my money. It's
Speaker 2: ten dollars. Why are you venmo me ten If you
Speaker 2: can't give me ten dollars right now while I'm here
Speaker 2: to establishment?
Speaker 6: Is this?
Speaker 1: A lot of people don't got cash.
Speaker 5: A lot of people.
Speaker 4: It's a bar good point, and people paid in cash.
Speaker 1: I don't know you.
Speaker 4: Got your tickets in cash.
Speaker 5: Shout out to your Union.
Speaker 2: Hall for always giving us cash, Baby Baby. At the
Speaker 2: end of the night, you know, the the people who
Speaker 2: do the show, they're not getting any money, you know
Speaker 2: right away.
Speaker 5: Look well Venmo y'all, we vo y'all.
Speaker 1: But he has a lucky because other cities we don't
Speaker 1: get paid for ship I don't get no one get
Speaker 1: no money. Yeah, I was hearing that, No, how do
Speaker 1: you make That's the only reason I got rich was
Speaker 1: because I didn't get Oh, you can make money, you know,
Speaker 1: being like on TV and ship Ah.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about that thing that you What have you done?
Speaker 5: Baby?
Speaker 1: What have I not done?
Speaker 5: Is really like that?
Speaker 1: I just I like, I actually was working at my
Speaker 1: restaurant job when I got my cone in and then
Speaker 1: I had to go back to work the next day.
Speaker 5: And that was that's humbling, as was the was the
Speaker 5: day manager Hayten.
Speaker 1: Everyone was so nice to me, which made it worse.
Speaker 1: And somebody came to the restaurant. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I saw you on ConA last time. I'm like, I'd be.
Speaker 2: Like, I don't work here, I'm not I'm holding this
Speaker 2: trade for my friend.
Speaker 4: I'm literally here to pick up my check and that's it.
Speaker 1: I don't even I'd be like, no, you did not.
Speaker 2: I have a brother named Solomon and he's doing well.
Speaker 2: My name is Sergio.
Speaker 1: Like he was like like can he try to tell
Speaker 1: like his parents and everything? And they could not give
Speaker 1: a fuck about me. And I was just like, they're
Speaker 1: a I do not want this.
Speaker 2: They were like, what are the specials today?
Speaker 1: Exactly?
Speaker 4: Well, but you you worked a full shift.
Speaker 5: They didn't lets you do a half day a summer Thursday.
Speaker 1: No, because I've got the day off yesterday to be
Speaker 1: on TV and I didn't have any money.
Speaker 4: Oh, you didn't get paid for coning like that.
Speaker 1: It sounds no, you don't get paid immediately taped under
Speaker 1: the should have asked you should have asked for caship top.
Speaker 5: You should have recent them.
Speaker 1: I considered it.
Speaker 5: But okay, so you did Conean and then how what else?
Speaker 5: What else are you doing?
Speaker 1: I've done coming twice. I did a half hour special.
Speaker 2: Yes, you did do a half hour special, which is fantastic.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to remember everything. You did two Dove
Speaker 1: queens recently.
Speaker 5: And now you are here with two reals.
Speaker 2: Oh Marie, oh wow.
Speaker 1: Wow, here we go. They paid me money hbo. Yes, yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and I love them very much.
Speaker 2: Yes, we like them.
Speaker 1: Fine.
Speaker 2: Oh my, you're we're also dube queens.
Speaker 1: Oh there. I think that's the whole point, is that
Speaker 1: everyone's a double queen.
Speaker 5: That is.
Speaker 4: See, that's the problem.
Speaker 2: I think that's the This is with this like body positivity,
Speaker 2: this is everybody is a star.
Speaker 5: This weird time.
Speaker 2: You just saying you don't you don't believe in body positivity.
Speaker 5: I don't believe that everybody got a good body.
Speaker 2: No, that's true, that everybody doesn't have it, and not
Speaker 2: everybody is a queen.
Speaker 4: If we all calling each other queen, then what the
Speaker 4: fuck is the queen not?
Speaker 5: I'm not what y'all are.
Speaker 1: Wow. Well, first of all, I'm not.
Speaker 4: Talking about them. I'm just saying in general.
Speaker 5: Like, yes, well that's what happened. You know.
Speaker 2: Broad City came out, bron City came out and was like,
Speaker 2: don't you be messing up my bag now?
Speaker 5: You already got paid. All the calling each other queen now,
Speaker 5: and you're a princess.
Speaker 1: No, barely, come on this.
Speaker 2: You're a pauper.
Speaker 1: Like a lady of the quart or something.
Speaker 5: I won't give you a shepherd.
Speaker 1: You are a shepherd, villager, villager, villager, villagers pond.
Speaker 4: That's what's your move sis.
Speaker 2: You can only go sideway, that is, you can't move
Speaker 2: across the board all the directions.
Speaker 1: But also keep in mind real royalty is not that
Speaker 1: great anyway. That's like years of incest. Those are perfect
Speaker 1: human beings.
Speaker 5: So here we go.
Speaker 2: Now you want to be real specific, but we talk
Speaker 2: about but the royal family is real.
Speaker 5: They real.
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about the dusty mutt there in England.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about we here in New York City. I'm
Speaker 2: talking about queendom here.
Speaker 5: Queendom here coming to America. Queen.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's exactly, and no, look to each his own.
Speaker 2: I'm here for it, but to each not his own teaching.
Speaker 1: We're living in a democracy. We get we should vote
Speaker 1: to be a queen.
Speaker 5: No, Sydney and I are the only people who should
Speaker 5: be able to. You know, it would be shady because
Speaker 5: we were like what shoes anywhere?
Speaker 2: Feet look like? You got those rocks, those are linked queen,
Speaker 2: queen queen.
Speaker 4: Nowhere else, not my god, not my queen. See this
Speaker 4: is why we are where we are because we're not.
Speaker 5: With the well everybody is, everybody's clean.
Speaker 2: I only say that because, you know, just growing up,
Speaker 2: I had to I had to work so hard to
Speaker 2: get to where the funk I am right now. But
Speaker 2: if you're giving kids confidence up top, then there's nothing
Speaker 2: to like work for and to get better at because.
Speaker 4: You already like, I look good, I'm great.
Speaker 5: Everything I do is gold.
Speaker 4: It's like, no, it's not, that's not true.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I want somebody to feel, like, to raise, somebody to
Speaker 2: tell me after a set I did great, if it's
Speaker 2: a bad set, if you.
Speaker 1: Like, look, I think, yes, you should not give false
Speaker 1: confidence to somebody. I think you should give people confidence
Speaker 1: on what they're good at. Yeah, I don't. I definitely
Speaker 1: think you should be com like. I don't think confidence
Speaker 1: is an issue. I think false confidence is the issue. Yes,
Speaker 1: Like you should be like if somebody's out here like
Speaker 1: I'm a great, like people like the shops American Idol
Speaker 1: singing terribly and thinking that.
Speaker 5: Him, I have no professional training in singing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like that kind of stuff. Like somebody like there
Speaker 1: there there was like at least three hundred people on
Speaker 1: the way to that point that could have been like,
Speaker 1: you need to stop doing what you do?
Speaker 4: Right, But I would say that. I wouldn't. I would
Speaker 4: never say, hey, you need to stop what you're doing.
Speaker 5: You're not.
Speaker 2: You would never say that. I would never say that
Speaker 2: what they do.
Speaker 4: I'm not telling you that you're not.
Speaker 5: You should know.
Speaker 2: You should know by the responses, responses people aware.
Speaker 1: I think I think sometimes you got to shatter some dreams.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm, well Solomon, you could be the one to
Speaker 4: do that.
Speaker 1: I'm here to shatter dream Yes, let's shatter some dreams, okay,
Speaker 1: but I'm also here to build confidence in what people
Speaker 1: are good at.
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm all about uplifting the community. Community.
Speaker 2: I'm all about that.
Speaker 4: But I'm also like, I think we're just a little
Speaker 4: bit too laxed with like what is great?
Speaker 5: What is all this? You killed?
Speaker 4: Like, come on now, let's know.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't lie to people about lets me
Speaker 3: do who do badly on stage in front of me?
Speaker 3: Like you you E've all had the conversation after a
Speaker 3: show someone comes up to you and they're like, oh,
Speaker 3: you did great tonight, and then they look at you
Speaker 3: and you were like thanks, kind of like when the
Speaker 3: dude was like, you're beautiful, and I was like everybody, like,
Speaker 3: I'm not here to lie to you.
Speaker 5: And I feel like you.
Speaker 4: Don't give out a whole bunch of compliments just randomly.
Speaker 1: No, No, I don't. I would never, but that's how
Speaker 1: we know that they're sincere. But yeah, that's also like I'm.
Speaker 5: Not out here lying to your face because you gave
Speaker 5: me a compliment.
Speaker 1: I will sit there like if I if you didn't
Speaker 1: have a good set, I would be like, well you
Speaker 1: were on stage.
Speaker 5: I like the buttons on your shirt. We'll have something
Speaker 5: else the compliment.
Speaker 4: We'll tell themon How did you get your confidence? How
Speaker 4: did you get to where you are right now?
Speaker 1: Well, that confidence, like I actually have, like had issue
Speaker 1: compensations growing up too. I was always uh because my
Speaker 1: parents weren't the best in regards to like confidence.
Speaker 5: So yes, we're all here African Africa.
Speaker 1: Like you can you can show up straight a's and
Speaker 1: still be like you stupid. I'm like you, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: grew up in one of those houses.
Speaker 3: Like I would come home with a test and be
Speaker 3: like I got a ninety eight, and my mom and dad,
Speaker 3: without fail would be like, well what happened to the
Speaker 3: other two exactly exactly, like, but I'm messing up the
Speaker 3: curve in class, like you doing not the most points
Speaker 3: and they'd be like, okay, but you didn't get a
Speaker 3: perfect school. Yeah, and that's what I got.
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's things like I thought, like when I
Speaker 1: got out of that, I was like, because I had
Speaker 1: such a little so because self esieving confidence. And then
Speaker 1: by the time that I was able to figure out
Speaker 1: what I was good at that, I was like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: oh wait, I am good at everything.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like I don't need to know how to spell.
Speaker 1: Oh fuck, how good? It's not that bad like it's
Speaker 1: And it's just like, especially with performing, that's sort of
Speaker 1: because I try to be self deprecating and people like
Speaker 1: they don't believe it's.
Speaker 4: How I can.
Speaker 5: I can't.
Speaker 3: I hate self deprecating comedy, but that's because I can't
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 5: Like I'm not going to get up here.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to get up here, and no I'll
Speaker 3: deprecate y'all right, I'm lifting me. I'm not going to
Speaker 3: bring myself down or make myself small, so people like
Speaker 3: me that's something that I will never do and I
Speaker 3: won't bring myself down.
Speaker 4: But I will be honest about some of the things
Speaker 4: that go on.
Speaker 2: Like I'm not going to be like, oh yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: I lay down the best coach, like that's not true.
Speaker 5: I mean, I mean.
Speaker 2: Iach like I'm just I can I can talk about
Speaker 2: I talk about my failures and feel like it's not
Speaker 2: as self deprecating.
Speaker 4: It's just me being like an open book.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 3: But I think it's there's a difference I think in
Speaker 3: being able to laugh at yourself and then being self deprecated,
Speaker 3: because I feel like what we do is we love
Speaker 3: at ourselves. I left at myself every single day. I'm
Speaker 3: not taking myself too serious. But I'm not going to
Speaker 3: be like what look like that's not that's not my truth,
Speaker 3: that's not my.
Speaker 1: Minis like, I don't come in that. I don't come
Speaker 1: in self deprecating. I'll come I'll come in. I'll come
Speaker 1: in with the with a lot of confidence, and then
Speaker 1: eventually I'll tell you I'll definitely laugh at myself and
Speaker 1: tell jokes about myself. If I came with that first,
Speaker 1: they'd be like, excuse me, sir, you just showed up
Speaker 1: six feet four three on you don't believe that you
Speaker 1: don't care about yourself right, And I think it's just
Speaker 1: like it's something that I also just I do self
Speaker 1: affirmations every day. I have a mantra I have before
Speaker 1: I go on.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me write it down. What is what is it?
Speaker 1: Take your time, be in the moment, annunciate radi E.
Speaker 2: That's fucking great that more time. Take your time, be
Speaker 2: in the moment, be in the moment, radio I love.
Speaker 4: That's so.
Speaker 5: You got that written in your bathroom mirror and listen.
Speaker 2: You want to live love.
Speaker 5: Closer at the house.
Speaker 4: That's beautiful. But that makes so much sense.
Speaker 1: But see what I say to myself over and over
Speaker 1: and over again, because I'm like your time, Like every
Speaker 1: time I question myself on stage, my confidence, like I
Speaker 1: I tend to not talk properly. I like words run
Speaker 1: over each other.
Speaker 5: That's me. That's me every day.
Speaker 2: Your time, your time, b in the moment, in the moment,
Speaker 2: enunciate eight, rady eight. You know I've never written the
Speaker 2: word a nunc.
Speaker 4: That's that's merch right there. You should put that on
Speaker 4: a shirt for sure.
Speaker 5: Who For those of you who are wondering how to
Speaker 5: spell nunciate, it's n E, n U n C I
Speaker 5: A t E.
Speaker 1: Okay, wow, it's I don't think it's did you say E.
Speaker 4: E n U n C I A T. Listen, this
Speaker 4: is a motherfucker.
Speaker 5: My iPhone auto corrected it, so I know it's right.
Speaker 4: It's I phone X.
Speaker 2: It's an excess.
Speaker 4: Excess success, haven't.
Speaker 5: Okay, look at all?
Speaker 2: Look at me with my financially unique phone, financially literally
Speaker 2: just you know that? Is that?
Speaker 1: Is that a homebody?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? If you feeling rich, you can also
Speaker 2: just give me one. You can send me one my way,
Speaker 2: babe them.
Speaker 1: Your phone so you can get a free upgrade.
Speaker 2: Service that you get a free upgrade.
Speaker 1: I guess I probably paid for it. I didn't you
Speaker 1: pay for it?
Speaker 2: I don't. They stopped doing free upgrades in two thousand.
Speaker 1: I don't remember.
Speaker 4: I'm coming to the to the story you.
Speaker 2: Like.
Speaker 4: He said I can get it free.
Speaker 2: He said that I could get this phone for free. Okay,
Speaker 2: So let's talk about like, uh, where you got? Where
Speaker 2: did you get your confidence from? Did you answer that question?
Speaker 1: Yes? Confidence for me was definitely from comedy and uh
Speaker 1: take and learning how to just holding what I got
Speaker 1: and then went into my life.
Speaker 5: When did you start comedy? Like how let's talk about.
Speaker 1: Well, I started in the year two thousand and seven. Okay,
Speaker 1: there was only one of the homosexual dudes.
Speaker 2: One other comic.
Speaker 1: No, there's there's a few. But I started in two
Speaker 1: thousand and seven, like when I was twenty five. And
Speaker 1: this actually brings up to the next topic a spite. Ah, yes,
Speaker 1: come on, I was dating. Well, I was sort of
Speaker 1: dating this dude, sort of like no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: we were we were recording each other, okay, and he
Speaker 1: he's like, he took me to this fucking weird ass
Speaker 1: meeting for this thing called Landmark.
Speaker 5: That sounded like a pyramid scheme.
Speaker 1: It's a it is a pyramid.
Speaker 4: Landmark doesn't tell no, No.
Speaker 1: Landmark is like a program like Scientology. It's like Scientology
Speaker 1: without the without the religion part. So it's like the
Speaker 1: whole point of it is like, oh, you go this
Speaker 1: program and then you bring other people in and they
Speaker 1: pay money and it's all about like it was all
Speaker 1: this Like he was like, it's all about finding guidance
Speaker 1: and like building up.
Speaker 2: It sounds like you were at church. It was they
Speaker 2: show up, they bring people, they give money, Like he.
Speaker 4: Took me to the meeting and I was like, what
Speaker 4: the hell is this meeting that sounds like a a
Speaker 4: what's going on with it?
Speaker 5: In the basement of a temple on Rby's where was the.
Speaker 1: It was in like a like a community center sort
Speaker 1: of situation.
Speaker 5: It was free. They didn't even pay for the space.
Speaker 1: They just but they but they were like, in order
Speaker 1: to get the work books, you have to pay money.
Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, they do.
Speaker 5: What's in the workbooks.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm not gonna give you money for an
Speaker 1: activity book. I used to go to write aid right
Speaker 1: now and get one. I don't it's we.
Speaker 2: Got coloring books.
Speaker 5: Okay, So you're dating this man.
Speaker 1: So he takes me this meeting and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just felt like you don't have much guidance and
Speaker 1: you don't know what you really want.
Speaker 5: And I was like, okay, bitch, you should have been
Speaker 5: like I want this, and you didn't say that.
Speaker 1: And when I heard that ship, I was like and immediately,
Speaker 1: because I used to be spoken word wow.
Speaker 5: In Fresno, he was the spoken word.
Speaker 1: In Washington, I feel like in coffee shop.
Speaker 5: In my mind, the scene must have been terrible scene
Speaker 5: of charm. In Seattle, they spoken word, of course, okay,
Speaker 5: well give us a little something.
Speaker 1: Oh, I haven't done it in a long long like
Speaker 1: you've probably still. I did not even want to do
Speaker 1: a signal a butterfly flew by me last night. No,
Speaker 1: I would, because I do I do. I do comedy pieces,
Speaker 1: and I did one. I think one of the what
Speaker 1: I remember is about Jennifer Lopez.
Speaker 5: Okay, go go ahead and give it to us. On
Speaker 5: the six I was like, I.
Speaker 1: Think it was because I want to talk about how
Speaker 1: beautiful she was like, look, I'm not I'm gay, but
Speaker 1: I'm not stupid. I still fun Jennifer Lopez.
Speaker 5: And that was like, world, that's none of that rhyme.
Speaker 1: No, it didn't rhyme. That was the whole point. I
Speaker 1: just would do these comedic pieces that were just like, hey,
Speaker 1: here's a quick joke, and then they're like, what the
Speaker 1: fuck is this?
Speaker 3: Look how many times did you get escorted out of
Speaker 3: the smoking How many times did they say?
Speaker 4: So we can't say he would suck that bitch. I
Speaker 4: don't know if it's just spoken word.
Speaker 2: They're like, ma'am, you gotta go.
Speaker 1: But no, I had a bunch of weird pieces, and
Speaker 1: I also had like pieces that were like oh, being
Speaker 1: gay is hard. And then like I was doing like
Speaker 1: I was and then was like the second e set
Speaker 1: that I was like, you know what I want, Like,
Speaker 1: I've always want to be a comic. I wanted to
Speaker 1: do stand comedies. I was a little kid and it
Speaker 1: has been my obsession. And I was like, fuck this, dude,
Speaker 1: I know what I'm going to do. I know what
Speaker 1: I'm doing. I'm gonna go do stand up And I
Speaker 1: went to I started doing. I started producing a show.
Speaker 5: From there, you started producing.
Speaker 2: You went from Jennifer Lopez spoken word to producing comedy
Speaker 2: in a week.
Speaker 1: Wait, okay, so well in two months.
Speaker 2: Okay, you started in Seattle and then you were on
Speaker 2: that show for Vice Flophouse House.
Speaker 1: Oh that was not the TV credit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how I saw.
Speaker 5: That's how I was familiar with you.
Speaker 1: Oh when you when we when we probably were partying
Speaker 1: at my house.
Speaker 5: Uh yeah, I was like, the house is dirty. The
Speaker 5: house didn't look dirty. They also made it dirty. To
Speaker 5: be fair, how they made it. They want dirt from Vice? Yeah,
Speaker 5: I mean that doesn't.
Speaker 1: Sound like they got rid of half the furniture, which is.
Speaker 2: Like, no, they didn't make it dirty, bro, They actually
Speaker 2: made it cleaner. Yeah, I know, men don't like to sweep. Yeah,
Speaker 2: what was the cleaning schedule.
Speaker 5: At the house?
Speaker 1: To be fair, that house was disgusting. Okay, I still
Speaker 1: live in that house, but I fixed it. I need
Speaker 1: you to calm your voices down.
Speaker 2: Hey, the truth comes out and Jennifer Lopez.
Speaker 1: Is not banging you with no flo Let me tell
Speaker 1: you that house is clean now.
Speaker 4: I need to see photos.
Speaker 1: It has brand new furniture, it has Yeah, but what
Speaker 1: the what the new floors?
Speaker 4: Because you definitely need a new floor.
Speaker 1: It's still a pleasant It is hard with flors I
Speaker 1: to do. Just clean them up.
Speaker 5: Calm down, Yes, it's all you need is a fabulous
Speaker 5: so with some hot water.
Speaker 4: Did you get a couple of paint jobs going on
Speaker 4: in there?
Speaker 1: Look, A lot of people will tell you the house
Speaker 1: is a much better condition than it used to be.
Speaker 5: Okay, so you admit that it was pretty raggedy.
Speaker 1: Oh when I showed up, it was disgusting.
Speaker 4: He made he made a house a home.
Speaker 2: Now, but we go there.
Speaker 1: Now you're be like a gay black person does live here?
Speaker 4: How many rooms you got in there?
Speaker 1: Three bedrooms?
Speaker 2: Three bedroom? It's and you live there by yourself?
Speaker 1: I will be living there by myself when I get back.
Speaker 2: Yes, wait, when are you in La?
Speaker 5: When you back?
Speaker 1: And June?
Speaker 5: Oh? Ouch, see you in July.
Speaker 2: Three bedroom city, we could do some shows.
Speaker 4: Why don't we do?
Speaker 1: I do have a guest bedroom.
Speaker 5: So you said you got three.
Speaker 2: Bedroom and lived there is a guest in an office room.
Speaker 1: That's where my elliptical and my desk is gonna go.
Speaker 1: You've never been rich before.
Speaker 2: I have never been rich. You saying before, I have
Speaker 2: never been rich.
Speaker 4: I have been rich and didn't think about elliptical or
Speaker 4: any of that.
Speaker 1: I'm done going to the gym and doing it. I
Speaker 1: want to do it at home. I want to wake up.
Speaker 5: You got lazy.
Speaker 1: For walking out home.
Speaker 5: You're gonna be butt naked on that bike tapping it back.
Speaker 2: So you shouldn't be conveniently working out bits get out
Speaker 2: of your house.
Speaker 1: Are you talking about saying non sense? I've ever heard my.
Speaker 3: Life working out is supposed to be inconvenient. Yeah, probably
Speaker 3: you can't.
Speaker 1: I'm working out.
Speaker 5: You brushing your teeth before you get on the bik
Speaker 5: or now, oh, dick out, dick out.
Speaker 4: I'm not touching any of that equipment.
Speaker 2: I'm all saying Sidney, we could use one of the
Speaker 2: other guest bedrooms. Are there beds in the other guest.
Speaker 1: Bedroom queen bedroom?
Speaker 5: Oh great, but it's just one, so me Insney gotta
Speaker 5: share a bed.
Speaker 4: Look, what's the problem, Marie.
Speaker 1: I feel like.
Speaker 5: Sidney b hogging covered. I feel like Sidney be trying
Speaker 5: to spoon and you know I would never I don't
Speaker 5: feel like to touch you.
Speaker 3: But I'm gonna wake up and Sydney gonna be like, look,
Speaker 3: hey girl, you know you got a little jewel, right,
Speaker 3: so you know you.
Speaker 1: I feel like i'd wake up and you would just
Speaker 1: be looking at me like you don't friend. No, look
Speaker 1: I have a king sized bed, so we'll never see
Speaker 1: each other if you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, great, what room the California?
Speaker 6: Can you?
Speaker 4: You're such a bitch, Marie.
Speaker 1: That's what I love about it.
Speaker 5: Thank you so much. Honestly, I feel like you really
Speaker 5: see me.
Speaker 2: Friend?
Speaker 1: Who I am? I see you're sectional?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, that's not I'm any better lumbar support.
Speaker 1: But that's what the TV is. So oh, I sleep
Speaker 1: on my couch all the time.
Speaker 4: Okay, TVs.
Speaker 2: We we said we were going to get into black sitcoms.
Speaker 2: We only got a little bit of time left. Let's yeah,
Speaker 2: let's talk about shows that we used to watch as kids,
Speaker 2: icon iconic black sitcoms.
Speaker 1: I think, a that's one thing you'll notice. That's the
Speaker 1: kind of white people I like is ones that can
Speaker 1: mention shows that black people watched. Like if you have
Speaker 1: ever watched The Wayne's Brothers, Yeah.
Speaker 5: You like white people that like The Waynees Brothers.
Speaker 1: I like white people that know that acknowledge black culture.
Speaker 5: They acknowledge it and then and then they put corn
Speaker 5: rows and then they say these.
Speaker 4: Are boxer breaths.
Speaker 1: Like they take a living single and turn to friends.
Speaker 1: You know that's me.
Speaker 2: When you do something, we don't steal it too, Like.
Speaker 1: No, I've that's that's did you like friends?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Good god, No, it was so hard to watch.
Speaker 5: It's on still, Like whenever I'm in a hotel, it's
Speaker 5: on TV, but I didn't watch it. I was I
Speaker 5: wasn't here for it.
Speaker 2: I was like, what is this?
Speaker 4: Like, why is that many people living in that place?
Speaker 4: That's gross?
Speaker 2: Also, the jobs.
Speaker 3: This is the thing about these sitcoms that are based
Speaker 3: in New York, right, is they always have these gorgeous
Speaker 3: apartments and they don't the jobs don't actually line up
Speaker 3: with what they wear, like they should all live in Bushwick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they shouldn't. Like the whole show should be them
Speaker 1: gentrifying Brooklyn exactly exactly.
Speaker 2: But they're like where were they were in, like or
Speaker 2: something they were in like a cute neighborhood. And it's like,
Speaker 2: when do y'all work at Macy's? Yeah?
Speaker 5: What how much are you contributing to the rent?
Speaker 1: She was unemployed when she showed up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you didn't need that much money back then,
Speaker 4: though in the nineties you.
Speaker 5: Still still need for.
Speaker 2: Totally.
Speaker 5: Solomon was born in nineteen seventies.
Speaker 4: She coming from Sliman is a veteran.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you know this, but yeah, I
Speaker 2: just were.
Speaker 1: Clean when I showed up.
Speaker 5: So when the Independent, I.
Speaker 2: Call you, mister Georgio, Sir, mister georgiou excuse me, mister Georgia.
Speaker 1: My friends but living single. I just recently rewatched it
Speaker 1: because I was trying to figure out what then happened
Speaker 1: to it.
Speaker 4: It was brilliant.
Speaker 1: It was brilliant. And then I watched the final season
Speaker 1: and Kyle left the show.
Speaker 5: Why why?
Speaker 1: And didd you no, I don't know why. I should
Speaker 1: have googled they didn't. They didn't have any Alexa.
Speaker 5: Why did Kyle leave? We don't have alexa?
Speaker 1: But then they brought in this light skinful and You're like,
Speaker 1: what's going on here?
Speaker 2: Is he was? He?
Speaker 5: Did he replace Kyle?
Speaker 1: Sinclair moved out, moved in with Overton Yeah, Overton yeah
Speaker 1: and old. Then they had to replace her. Then this
Speaker 1: lightscin do showed up and lived with the girls, and
Speaker 1: I was like, the fuck is this?
Speaker 5: What was the lightskin do? I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't remember that. I guess I didn't watch that.
Speaker 4: Part of it fell off hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I also was like, these are very like
Speaker 2: they're old to be all living together, right right? Everybody
Speaker 2: thirty six?
Speaker 1: It is New York.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, but you in the nineties, you shouldn't have
Speaker 4: that many roommates.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a group home. It was only two
Speaker 1: of them living there, and then Saint Clair moved in
Speaker 1: and she gave her a job.
Speaker 5: I don't remember this.
Speaker 2: It feels like too many thirty year olds living together. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we watched MX scene.
Speaker 1: Didn't live there. She lived across the street. She was
Speaker 1: a high power attorney, but.
Speaker 2: She always was there, and it felt like a home
Speaker 2: or a job because you were a high powered attorney
Speaker 2: and you over here in the hoods again instacart.
Speaker 5: But you should have a terrace.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we should be a year plan.
Speaker 5: We should be at your house.
Speaker 1: Also fun fact, the pilot of Living Single was filmed
Speaker 1: on the set of Family Matters. It's a rare condition
Speaker 1: this day in age, reading the good news on a newspaper. Hey,
Speaker 1: love and conditions. Some people say, even the well, there
Speaker 1: must be some magic clue him size tend the world
Speaker 1: because all I have to see he just waiting for
Speaker 1: the course the Tower of Dreams. Real love us now
Speaker 1: of every scene days, it's the.
Speaker 5: Bigger love in the famy. I miss TV show theme songs.
Speaker 1: IM I miss him too, But I'm okay with I
Speaker 1: think we got better content now. We're allowed to say
Speaker 1: more ship now than we used to.
Speaker 4: I like back in the day you could say, you know,
Speaker 4: all the problematic on PC stuff.
Speaker 1: But I feel like there was more diversity in casting
Speaker 1: in the nineties than there were no It's.
Speaker 3: Crazy how we went back. It's crazy like up and nine.
Speaker 3: I don't even know if you guys remember this, but
Speaker 3: it was the underpaid Negro network and it was like
Speaker 3: it was centric. It was it was the original b
Speaker 3: et but it was good shows on it right Mo
Speaker 3: to the Eat to the right, and then we had
Speaker 3: Kim and Monique the Parkers.
Speaker 5: I saw a music video that Countess Fawn did.
Speaker 2: It was so bad.
Speaker 4: Does she have a thyroid problem because her eyes pop out?
Speaker 2: I don't know the video. Have you seen any of
Speaker 2: her music?
Speaker 1: Had know she's a great singer. She was a great
Speaker 1: singer back when she sang on the show several times.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this video was bad. It came out in like
Speaker 3: two thousand and six or something. I don't remember the
Speaker 3: name of the song, but it was it's called like
Speaker 3: That's My Man or something.
Speaker 2: It was really bad.
Speaker 1: And also Kevin Federline. Feeder Line was married to the
Speaker 1: other one.
Speaker 2: Oh, Kevin Federline had a bunch of kids by her
Speaker 2: and then left her for Britney Spears, who is each
Speaker 2: shambles still?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, Britney Spears is us pray for Britain?
Speaker 1: At least she's not. She's no longer with Kevin Federline.
Speaker 1: So yeah, but like who she would now, Oh, she
Speaker 1: thought she would have fucking hot dude that how do
Speaker 1: that like dance with her?
Speaker 3: Like they were like anytime one of these female art
Speaker 3: pop stars comes out and says she's dating her backup dancer,
Speaker 3: I don't believe it.
Speaker 1: But this is the first time I ever saw her
Speaker 1: date somebody that I was like, Okay, he makes sense.
Speaker 4: No nobody ever makes sense because he was.
Speaker 1: At least attractive enough.
Speaker 2: I just feel like, first of all, she gone, she's gone,
Speaker 2: You're never get back.
Speaker 4: We're never getting her back.
Speaker 1: And that's the sac thing about situation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the sad thing about you know, the industry
Speaker 2: and working in Hollywood is just like how when do
Speaker 2: you get to be you? You don't You're always on,
Speaker 2: and so eventually you lose yourself, but not everybody loses themselves.
Speaker 2: Like you just got to stay around people. You have
Speaker 2: to keep people around you that will keep you grounded,
Speaker 2: which is the touch pop star book.
Speaker 1: And like she'sn't like she's been famous since she was ten.
Speaker 2: I don't want she was like a Mickey mouse Club
Speaker 2: Mickey mouse Club. Yeah yah yah yea yeah yeah, so
Speaker 2: she like she's not even she on drugs, and I
Speaker 2: think they're trying to tell us that she's crazy, but
Speaker 2: in actuality.
Speaker 5: I think uh mun Child's syndrome almost like telling her
Speaker 5: she's sick.
Speaker 1: And I think that would have happened to Beyonce if
Speaker 1: Beyonce wasn't a black woman and had to deal with society.
Speaker 2: I think if.
Speaker 3: Matthew and Tina didn't want her to be a superstar
Speaker 3: so bad, it could have happened to Beyonce.
Speaker 1: But I think, well, no, I think she could have
Speaker 1: lost her mind and become that sort of like broken
Speaker 1: person if she didn't have a strong restitution.
Speaker 2: Well, I think she might still be broken.
Speaker 3: We don't know everybody's side of the NBA's we don't
Speaker 3: know how crazy is. She might be insane. You saw
Speaker 3: when jay Z was in his ass beat by so
Speaker 3: long too the elevator. She was just standing there so.
Speaker 4: Too if your sister is who in his ass?
Speaker 2: God, she didn't she didn't even she didn't even react
Speaker 2: to them, and she was not sting. She didn't scream nothing,
Speaker 2: She didn't throw a clutch. She just stood this how
Speaker 2: we do what our family is like, what drugs you want? This?
Speaker 2: No non run up on your man soon. So just
Speaker 2: so you know when it happened, act like you didn't
Speaker 2: see it. And Beyonce was like, bet, I'm just saying
Speaker 2: it's you're, first of all, as as professional miles, right,
Speaker 2: if a fight breaks out, we right like you're you're
Speaker 2: we're reacting because we're dramatic. She didn't react at all.
Speaker 5: But if the cameras is wrong, you didn't know that.
Speaker 1: It is like for me, if it was my sibling
Speaker 1: and I'm like, something's happened to my sibling, I'm like, look,
Speaker 1: you sit back, I'll take care of this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what happened.
Speaker 2: She told her.
Speaker 1: If I run up on somebody for my brothers or
Speaker 1: my sisters, they're gonna they they need to chill out,
Speaker 1: have a moment because they were have been sucked with
Speaker 1: too much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she knew it was coming, but y'all, listen, you
Speaker 2: don't feel so you need to look at the tape.
Speaker 2: Just she wasn't even looking at it while it was
Speaker 2: She was just like standing like that's not weird to y'all.
Speaker 5: No, she wasn't even making eye contact with either of them.
Speaker 1: She's doing exactly what I would appreciate. That'sage I need
Speaker 1: to be in.
Speaker 2: Ooh got them says, Hey, that's what you get for
Speaker 2: cheating on me with Rachel Rachel Roy Rachel Ray whoever
Speaker 2: they said Rachel Ray was Rachel Ray in the kitchen
Speaker 2: and so.
Speaker 4: We need to see the tape needs to look clean.
Speaker 2: So it's like, don't say nothing, don't see you didn't
Speaker 2: see that, and this is just me going off and
Speaker 2: that's what she did.
Speaker 1: And also I think what happened was like Beyonce was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be calm to me and just like,
Speaker 1: you know what, bitch, I'm gonna be chill about this.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she threw her shoes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So then swim with jay Z went back home
Speaker 2: to talk to Beyonce.
Speaker 4: She was just like, hey, you knew it was coming.
Speaker 5: Bro.
Speaker 4: You know, I don't have nothing to say.
Speaker 1: I told you about Solar as a second.
Speaker 5: You matter definitely.
Speaker 1: And that's what I loved Lawn so much.
Speaker 5: That is she's the sister.
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm not going to keep any secrets. I'm like,
Speaker 1: think it's exactly right.
Speaker 5: I'm here for it.
Speaker 2: And a shout out to whoever leaked that elevator footage
Speaker 2: because that.
Speaker 4: Security guard doesn't have his job anymore. Okay, it was
Speaker 4: worth it.
Speaker 1: It was a good day. That was a good day
Speaker 1: at the Dollar at.
Speaker 5: The Boom Boom Room, oh, oh lot, damn.
Speaker 4: I'm sure he was so bored the whole time, and
Speaker 4: then he saw that, like, are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 5: He was like, I'm selling this to TMZ tonight.
Speaker 1: Millions dollars. That must have made him so much money.
Speaker 5: I mean, you probably got a couple of thousand for it,
Speaker 5: but I don't know millions millions.
Speaker 4: They paid good money for that footage.
Speaker 5: That maybe twenty thousand dollars. Millions.
Speaker 1: Friends, I'll give you one hundred thousand.
Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe I bet you for one hundred thousand dollars,
Speaker 5: y'all'll be fired.
Speaker 2: From my job.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for five dollars, I'll quit.
Speaker 5: For a cream cheese bagel. I'd be like, you know what,
Speaker 5: I actually don't need to work no more.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't want to be here.
Speaker 2: Okay, we touched a bunch of stuff today. Is there
Speaker 2: anything you want to leave our listeners with? If you
Speaker 2: have a tip on how to be more confident? Yea,
Speaker 2: how to get away with murder, how to how to
Speaker 2: keep your money while splurging, Like, uh, what to invest
Speaker 2: in investing yourself? Okay, that sounds like somebody who bad
Speaker 2: with money. No, that's not like somebody who about to
Speaker 2: get some work done, siss Brazilian, But were.
Speaker 5: Talking the back of my neck to forehead back, not
Speaker 5: only Campbell styles.
Speaker 4: I understand.
Speaker 2: Have you gotten botox before?
Speaker 1: No, I've not done anything, but like invest yourself, like
Speaker 1: just generally, Like that's where my confidence comes in. Is
Speaker 1: like learning not to like you can definitely put other
Speaker 1: people and take care of the people, but you also
Speaker 1: have to put yourself first along that way too, So
Speaker 1: just take care of your damnself. Take care of yourself,
Speaker 1: take care yourself, take care of the people you love,
Speaker 1: and then you'll always have confidence in yourself.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 5: Okay, you know, Taylor, I've been doing it.
Speaker 2: Take your time and be in the moment, enunciate, radiate,
Speaker 2: and steal people's money. I feel like that's always steal stealing. Still,
Speaker 2: that's how you get rid of ringles, is stealing. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's why I look like this. I look like so
Speaker 2: you're the Somali and Elizabeth Homes.
Speaker 4: Keep looking at you, and I'm like, emon, if you're
Speaker 4: giving me married to David?
Speaker 5: I know, I know, I know. Can you tell the
Speaker 5: listeners like where they can catch you on social media?
Speaker 1: I'm Solomon Georgia all across the board s O l
Speaker 1: O m O n g e O r g I
Speaker 1: O s O l O l O M s O
Speaker 1: l O m O y r g i O. Spell
Speaker 1: the name again, she h.
Speaker 2: Are you?
Speaker 5: Are you dating right now?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: He's a free agent.
Speaker 5: Okay, what he's a freelance what's your type?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Come on, We've got a lot of listeners,
Speaker 1: but no one really hollers at me, so I don't really.
Speaker 4: But they might change.
Speaker 1: They might slide in a d M because you're so confident. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, but they might it all over your DM.
Speaker 1: I'm what is known as intimidating to people. Sure, I'm
Speaker 1: fine with that.
Speaker 4: Listen listeners.
Speaker 2: If you want to have a fine meal at the
Speaker 2: diner with somebody who's very attractive and rich, I think
Speaker 2: you should slide in.
Speaker 5: Attractive rich talls for three quarters.
Speaker 1: Also, my dms are closed.
Speaker 5: Them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how you close?
Speaker 5: You that you're saying people don't hit you up?
Speaker 1: It's because I'm a gay black man on the internet.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to let just open ass hateful people
Speaker 1: in the world.
Speaker 3: I mean, but the people that you don't follow, it
Speaker 3: goes in like the other inbox that you never check
Speaker 3: you can friends of yours.
Speaker 1: I run my mouth too much to just have my
Speaker 1: DMS wide open.
Speaker 5: I'm a slide in your DMS.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's because I follow you.
Speaker 5: It's real sliding your DM still, you know.
Speaker 1: So yeah, if you want to slide into my d
Speaker 1: I'm just sliding.
Speaker 2: Slide into Marie, and you can slide into mine as well,
Speaker 2: and then I'll forward you.
Speaker 4: I think you should follow this person. They're good.
Speaker 2: I look through there, and I did a background check.
Speaker 2: I think they're Look tell us what you're attracted to.
Speaker 1: I'm attracted to men who are nice, so ugly.
Speaker 5: Nice.
Speaker 1: And you can be poor, you can pour as long
Speaker 1: as you're as long as you're as long as you're
Speaker 1: good looking.
Speaker 5: Okay, but what's good looking to you?
Speaker 1: It's you know, that's it's really I just that's the
Speaker 1: hard thing.
Speaker 2: Like white dudes, you like black dudes, You like them short?
Speaker 2: I like you like them long hair, thick, red bone,
Speaker 2: open up your legs to flame.
Speaker 4: Would you date somebody missing an eye?
Speaker 1: It depends on the story, depends on the tail. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I lost my because I sull my toe on the
Speaker 1: edge of the table. But if I'm like oh.
Speaker 5: My eye.
Speaker 2: I stub my toe on the corn the bed going
Speaker 2: to the bathroom, land it on my eye. Anyway, I
Speaker 2: don't bring my wallet. If I lost my eye, I
Speaker 2: feel like I would lean into that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would.
Speaker 2: I would still put lashes on, you know, I would know.
Speaker 2: I would have the best eye shadow. I would draw
Speaker 2: my eyebrows so thick.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just some drag race, just some what's the
Speaker 5: who's the drag queen that has the like the Tricksy motel.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bas eye and then a little eye like a
Speaker 2: cartoon character out of one big eye in one. No.
Speaker 4: I would literally just get like a fake, a fake
Speaker 4: sticker and put it on.
Speaker 2: I would get the one that you know, the on
Speaker 2: dolls where the eye, So I put on my fucking
Speaker 2: fake eye. Oh good, yeah, No, you know what I
Speaker 2: would do if I lost my eye. You remember the
Speaker 2: the bottles we used to feed our baby dolls.
Speaker 3: It was either like milk or juice, and like when
Speaker 3: you tipped it, all of the liquid disappear.
Speaker 5: I put that in my I would get a glass
Speaker 5: eye with rims that.
Speaker 1: Spin on it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I get like a hazel eye, a hazel.
Speaker 5: One, and then it's this brown eye.
Speaker 2: Now I would to.
Speaker 4: Get I want to get an eye that would say
Speaker 4: finy in it.
Speaker 5: You know, luxury BRANDLV.
Speaker 2: It would just say mind your business and like little
Speaker 2: time and people, what happened to you?
Speaker 5: Mind your business?
Speaker 4: I would put grills on my eye. That's what I
Speaker 4: for sure, grills for sure.
Speaker 5: I get a gold eyeball.
Speaker 4: Yeah, just solid gold, solid, just dope, just.
Speaker 5: The heavy gold eye.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: I think that's how you get like some sort of poison.
Speaker 4: That has been our freaking show. This has been fantastic.
Speaker 4: I had so much fun. I learned so much. You know,
Speaker 4: I would say, you know, let's just go to the dinner,
Speaker 4: but we're not. It's early. This for late night. If
Speaker 4: you enjoyed this, you know you should leave a comment review, even.
Speaker 5: If you hated it, Leave a comment that we can
Speaker 5: delete later.
Speaker 4: Leave a comment.
Speaker 2: Leave a comment so I can screenshot it and send
Speaker 2: it to Solomon, so he can slide in your DMS
Speaker 2: and be like, na, what we not about to do?
Speaker 4: So he can go to your page and then roast
Speaker 4: you exactly, write good about you?
Speaker 1: What makes you think you could?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Just this is what we want. Leave that negative comment,
Speaker 2: we'll screenshot it, we'll post it, and then we'll just
Speaker 2: leave palm trees underneath your most recent post.
Speaker 5: That's our that's our Our behive is because we're shady.
Speaker 2: Oh we're solid, shady folks. Tropical shade palm trees, not
Speaker 2: Central Park.
Speaker 1: Dusty trees sunscreen because it's shady over here.
Speaker 3: You see it anyway, guys, rate comment, subscribe, catch us
Speaker 3: on the Patreon. Solomon is going back to la Make
Speaker 3: sure you see him everywhere you can live.
Speaker 5: Come see us at the Knitting Factory ever every Sunday
Speaker 5: and keep signing what up to us?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we love it. Shout out to Caesar from Netflix. Yeah,
Speaker 2: seeing everybody that we need to see.
Speaker 5: Love it. Okay, bye friend, Bye Forever.
Speaker 6: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 6: Brett Boham, Joe ccilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
Speaker 6: please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our
Speaker 6: shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 6: Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following
Speaker 6: us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and
Speaker 6: liking our page on Facebook.