WEBVTT - Rufus Wainwright 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:04.440 The Craig Ferguson Pants on Fire Tour is on sale now. 0:00:04.600 --> 0:00:07.920 It's a new show, it's new material, but I'm afraid 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:12.479 it's still only me, Craig Ferguson on my own, standing 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:15.840 on a stage telling comedy words. Come and see me, 0:00:16.120 --> 0:00:18.560 buy tickets, bring your loved ones, or don't come and 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:21.439 see me. Don't buy tickets and don't bring your loved ones. 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:23.919 I'm not your dad. You come or don't come, but 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:26.160 you should at least know what's happening, and it is. 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:30.200 The tour kicks off late September and goes through the 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:34.040 end of the year and beyond. Tickets are available at 0:00:34.120 --> 0:00:37.000 the Craig Ferguson Show dot com slash tour. They are 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:40.120 available at the Craig Ferguson show dot com slash tour 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:45.000 or at your local outlet in your region. My name 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:49.040 is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast is Joy. 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:53.640 I talk to interest in people about what brings them happiness. 0:00:56.520 --> 0:01:01.480 My guest today is one of the to my mind, 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:05.600 one of the most important artists working in America today. 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:10.000 He is a singer, he's a songwriter, he is a composer, 0:01:10.520 --> 0:01:14.400 and I you know, I'm not really that comfortable around 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:19.000 people with great talent, but he's very personal, as you 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:30.280 will see. Let me tell you what I'm doing, which 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:35.119 is I'm breaking my rules by A. I really wanted 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:37.640 to talk to you in person because I feel like 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:46.240 that helps, and B or two I don't normally. There's 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:50.400 a couple of people that I've never ever wanted. I 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:51.960 kind of break my own rules a little bit. I 0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:54.520 never invited David Bowie on my old late night show 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:58.040 because I thought, what if it doesn't work out, what 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:02.080 if he's what if he's heard it? And I've had 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:06.960 the same problem with you and Sting You David boy 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:09.600 and Sting. I'm like, I don't know if it's gonna work. Yeah, 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:12.080 so this is really if it works okay with you, 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:15.840 then our books thing. But other than that, a coupled 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:22.200 coupled white male. Uh, you worked with him, then you 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:24.079 didn't you do a tour together with why? 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:29.320 I worked with with Sting a few times, and and 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:31.919 I knew David somewhat. 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:34.480 He he he. 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:36.680 Came to a few of my shows back in the day, 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:40.160 and and uh and and we actually even had a 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:43.760 bit of a of a not a disagreement, but a 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:48.399 misunderstanding at one point early on, which which was very exciting. 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:52.360 It sounds very exciting. Yeah, could I ask what it 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:54.480 was about? Yeah, No, it was, it was, it was, 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:54.800 it was. 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:57.800 What what had happened is that we were both doing 0:02:57.840 --> 0:02:59.200 this Tibet House benefit. 0:02:59.280 --> 0:02:59.960 I was very young. 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.960 I was I think I was twenty three or something, 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:06.040 and we were both doing this benefit, and I was 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:09.200 also making an album at the time. I was making 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:11.280 Want One. I was a little older than twenty. I 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:15.000 was more anyways, So so I'm getting I'm getting up 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:23.079 there and I'm sixty's it's crazy. But anyways, but I 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.119 was making a record, and I was using a lot 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:32.200 of David's musicians, most notably this great guy called Oh God, 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:33.760 now okay, now it's going to happen. 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:37.280 Great guitar players. Spooky Ghost is. 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:42.640 Jerry Leonard, great guitar player, and and and then I 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:45.360 had his drummer and so forth. And I think David 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:48.800 Bowie felt a little bit scared that I was poaching 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:52.160 his band, his band at the time, like which I 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:54.480 wasn't aware of, but he was. That was sort of 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:57.560 an underlying thing that he had. Anyways, We're doing the 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:00.440 show together for the Tibet House benefit, and there was 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:03.760 this quartet, a string quartet that was playing. It was 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:07.000 also that David Bowie had brought in to do with 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:12.080 him and and and I said, well, there's a quartet available, 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.760 maybe I'll do something with the quartet as well, because 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:18.360 and it was kind of offered in that way. So 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:21.159 so I rehearsed with the quartet, gave them something to do. 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:23.320 And then the first time I met David Bowie, who 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:25.200 when he was sitting there, he was thinking, this guy 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.440 is trying to steal on my musicians, you know. He 0:04:27.560 --> 0:04:29.640 was just like that. The first thing I said to 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:33.119 him was, hey, David, thank you so much for letting 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.880 me work with your musicians. Like it was the first 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:38.720 guy I brought up. And it kind of took the 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.760 and I was talking about the quartet just because they 0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:44.159 were there. But then he used to have this woman 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:47.440 with him, Coco, who would hang out, who was sort 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:51.640 of his protector, this woman, and she yeah, and she 0:04:51.800 --> 0:04:56.640 immediately shielded him from me and was like get away, 0:04:56.720 --> 0:05:00.320 and like, don't you know, I don't know, so so 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:02.000 I so so it was. It was it was not 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:05.960 a great first meeting, but then subsequently he we we 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:09.239 he understood that I wasn't going to steal his entire band, 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.800 and uh and and then he you know, was fine. 0:05:11.839 --> 0:05:13.680 He came to a lot of shows and and in 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:14.240 a way, It's. 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:18.599 Funny because I always sort of imagine musicians to have 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:22.760 a sort of collegiate uh environment where they are quite 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:27.159 open and collaborative with each other. But I suspect maybe, 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:30.000 as you there may be egos involved as well, maybe 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:32.040 slightly slightly. 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:34.120 I mean, look, you I what what always struck me 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:39.680 the most about David is how almost childlike he was still, 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:42.880 I mean in the sense that he was he still 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:45.360 has such a sense of wonder about everything. Like when 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:47.200 he went to see my show and I get in 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:49.560 and I think he enjoyed it. I could really tell 0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:53.400 that he was dumbfounded by what he saw, and I'm 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:55.080 sure was that's the way he was like with a 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:57.120 lot of things that he loved. You know, it was 0:05:57.160 --> 0:06:01.480 like a genuine kind of openness, and but that comes, 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:03.120 you know, with also a little bit of you know, 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:05.560 childlike anger. 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:10.760 Yeah. It's interesting because I wonder if you have the 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:13.280 same if you have the same thing, because you you 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:19.040 travel across many different type genres of music. It seems 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:22.880 to me effortlessly like you, like you, you just inhabit 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:24.760 one and then move to another. You you can move 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:29.200 from folk to jazz to you know, Broadway kind of 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:33.920 rasthmatize and remain yourself within it. Is that is there 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:37.000 a sense of do you have a sense of wonder 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:38.880 about it? Do you retain a sense of wonder a bit? 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:42.359 Well, I have to maintain a sense of wonder about 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:46.400 everything in my life in order or not to you know, 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:49.520 I'm not gonna say slit my wrist. That's a little 0:06:49.600 --> 0:06:52.480 over dramatic, but but you know, to certainly I understand, 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:58.280 to certainly function, I I I have to keep that 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:05.920 spark going and and yes, it enables me to I think. 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:08.440 I think what I've managed to do, which is pretty good, 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:10.400 is that I've managed to sort of you know, I 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:13.440 dropped out of school twice, like I first I dropped 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:15.880 out of music school and then I dropped out of 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:20.440 art school. Like I never received a major education in 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:23.520 the you know, in college. And I think that was 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:27.360 a real saving grace because for me, because therefore I 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:30.000 never really felt like I totally knew what was happening 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:32.080 or what I was doing or like, I never had 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:35.320 a degree to be like, no, I'm it's official, because 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:37.280 I would find that so I'm always so I always 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:40.920 feel like i'm I'm learning as I go along, and 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:44.040 that's yeah, I think it's important to try to remain 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:45.280 ignorant a little bit. 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:50.440 I'm fascinated by that take on it because I how 0:07:50.880 --> 0:07:53.840 how you know your experience of you? Because I find 0:07:54.000 --> 0:07:58.200 you like, I mean, I know and love your work, 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:03.040 but I knew next to nothing about you. I mean, 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:06.480 I know of what's available on the internet, but I 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:12.320 feel like your work and in a way I know 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:14.440 that it's probably a comparison that's done a lot. But 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:17.440 but I had the same kind of feeling with Leonard 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:20.440 Cohan's work that I felt there was a kind of, uh, 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:25.680 there was a kind of humorous, almost Gothic menace with it, 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:29.160 with a sense of fun which I could never quite 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:32.120 pin down. I feel like it's it's contained somewhere in 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:35.160 a in a minor chord somewhere, or maybe it's a 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:39.560 or maybe it's maybe it's that that super kind of 0:08:40.920 --> 0:08:48.760 uh weird Canadian intellectual world that I find fascinating. Yeah, well, 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:51.960 it's a little bit the Canadian. 0:08:52.000 --> 0:08:57.560 I think the Canadian aspect cannot be underestimated in the 0:08:57.640 --> 0:09:01.079 sense that, look, I don't I was born in the US. 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:04.719 I was born in New York. My dad's loud and 0:09:04.880 --> 0:09:08.200 is American, has lived in New York his whole life. 0:09:09.040 --> 0:09:12.120 But my mother, Kate mcgarago, was Canadian. And yes, when 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:14.480 when when I was when my parents divorced, I moved 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:18.880 to Canada and was brought up there mainly. And I 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:21.920 do feel that there is this kind of and it 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:25.840 kind of also interestingly enough, relates to Scotland and to England. 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:29.280 Is that, you know, growing up and the fact that 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:31.480 it was Quebec, which ad has a whole other with 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:34.840 the whole French thing, is that you're in this strange 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:41.960 world where you're part of a faded empire, you know. 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:44.560 And it's even more it was much more pronounced, like 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:47.000 in the eighties, it was so pronounced in Canada as 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:49.600 opposed to in England, where it was it had become 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:54.360 sort of you know, they'd had enough and uh, and 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:58.240 certainly in Scotland and and but it was still so 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:01.200 trying to be English. But then you're right next to 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:04.640 the United States, you know, which is just so dominant. 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:08.040 And then I was also in Quebec, so we're all 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:12.200 doing this in French and and so you get developed 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:17.560 this strange perspective I guess, of of both, you know, 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:20.760 being in the middle of everything and also being totally 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:24.880 and nobody can understand where you come from. So it's 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:30.080 so it's it's a it's ah. Yeah. Being Canadian has 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:31.440 definitely influenced me as. 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:35.360 It has a weird kind of I wonder if it's 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:37.640 something to do with the darkness. I always think that 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:41.480 in Scotland, just the fact that there's no light for 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:46.160 half a year really and it somehow it makes a 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:47.800 different sort of person. 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:52.680 What's interesting is growing up in Quebec in Canada and 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:56.520 we had incredibly cold winters, which sadly I don't think 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:58.520 there's as cold as they used to be, but they were, 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:01.760 you know, this these Gothic called winters with a lot 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:04.920 of snow and the whole thing of like how Russia. 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:08.920 You know that whatever the Soviet Union was, this evil 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:12.840 empire that you know that nobody could understand. 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:14.360 We kind of got it. 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:18.960 We were like we kind of related more to the 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:20.920 Soviet Union in terms of what we had to go 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:24.480 through in terms of winter, because at least even you, 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:27.520 even you guys had like the Gulf Stream, you know, right, 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:28.559 we would. 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:30.199 Get a lid a little bit of beach there. 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.120 Yeah, yeah, so we kind of understood that that me. 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:34.480 Have you been to Russia? 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:37.680 I went once, Yeah, many many years ago, and it 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:38.840 was amazing. 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:42.000 And I found it fascinating because I grew up I'm 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:43.640 older than you, but I grew up with the same 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:48.559 information about you know, these people are the evil different 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.640 this is the Soviet thing was. It's very sterile, and 0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:56.120 they're all kind of like autraumatons and yeah, frightening. And 0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:59.559 I went there and it's very Did you go to Moscow? Yeah, 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:01.880 I went to mind Did you go to the because 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:03.840 I went to Red Square in Moscow? I thought it 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:10.120 was it's about it's it seems to me very high arch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:14.120 it was fabulous. Yeah, well I would. 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:17.920 I mean I remember flying into Russia, flying to Russia 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:23.000 and definitely getting the sense that you were going into 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:26.400 another universe, you know, like, yeah, it was, it was, 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:28.760 it was. It has nothing to do. I mean, it's 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:30.920 it's it's it's own, it's its own planet in a 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:34.760 lot of ways, and and and you know, and then 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:37.840 once I got there, I I I felt it it 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:43.240 was even more pronounced. What I will say, though, is 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:45.480 that of late and I don't know, I'm just going 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:48.040 on and on because I tend to do that, is 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:52.600 that I was just in Greece for a wedding, and uh, 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:55.520 and I'd never been to a Greek Orthodox wedding. I've 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:58.360 been to a lot of Catholic weddings, into a lot 0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:01.920 of you know, Protestant wedding or whatever, but I'd never 0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:04.200 been to a Greek Orthodox one. 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:06.520 And it really. 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:10.160 Struck me how different it was from from the you know, 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:13.920 the West, how different the Eastern churches from the Western Church. 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:18.360 It says that there's it's such a divide, and and 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:20.800 I know it's sort of harkened back to that. 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:24.040 That's what the difference is. It's that do you do 0:13:24.120 --> 0:13:25.920 you have a connection to a church? Are you? 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:26.080 No? 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:28.120 I don't. I mean, I look, I was I was 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:30.720 brought up in a very Catholic place. 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:34.960 I went to Catholic school. I was never baptized. You know, 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:39.720 my mother was was highly affected by the church. You know, 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:44.680 she's brought up by nuns and somewhat traumatized by that. 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:47.760 And uh and and for instance, recently I wrote a 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:53.120 requiem mass so that the premiered in Paris. 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:53.680 Uh. 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:55.360 And it's actually going to be in l A at 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:59.680 at Disney Hall in May with it has a narrator 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.080 part in it, and Jane Fonda will be the narrator. 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:05.040 That's tough. Yeah, yes, I was going. 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:08.000 To I was going to offer myself up, but well, 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:10.160 you know what, you know what she did. That's precisely 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:13.040 what she did. Yeah, because I was at an event 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:15.200 with her. I didn't know her too well, but we 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:18.920 were just talking and and and then I said, oh, yeah, 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:21.000 we just we just come. I was just in Paris 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:23.200 where we was premiered the Wreque. It's called the Dream 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:27.440 Requiem and and there's a narrator part in it, and 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:29.400 in Paris it was Meryl Streep. 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:30.240 Did it in Paris? 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:33.240 Okay, So and I said, and I said, you know, Jane, 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:35.000 we're going to bring it to l A. And we're 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:37.360 going to do it at Disney Hall. And then Jane went, 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:40.920 I'm doing it. I was like what She's like, I'm 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:43.800 doing it And she immediately hired herself. 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:49.520 And I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, I guess I forget. 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:50.400 I guess that's it. 0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:53.240 But but pertaining to the religious thing, yeah, that's sort 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:56.800 of I'm not religious, but I'm I'm I'm affected by 0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:58.120 it somehow. 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:09.680 Do you have a belief system that connects to a deity. 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:14.720 I'm definitely not. I'm definitely not an atheist. I have 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:21.480 a strange kind of childlike wonder, hope whatever that they're 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:24.479 that everything is connected and everything has a reason and 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:27.320 and I'm able to sort of tie that together with 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:30.000 my music and and and with my career at all. 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:35.480 It's always you know, uh that I wouldn't say nicely, 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:38.240 but it's but it's it's it's always managed to come together, 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:39.000 should we say. 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:45.640 And you have a kind of it also didact isn't 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.200 the right word, but you have a quite but you 0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:53.680 have a didactic career. Anyway, you have an odd kind 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:57.040 of are you looking for something that? Are you looking 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:58.200 for something? In the music? 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:03.320 I'm a three headed monster because I have there's a 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:05.120 and they're all very separated. 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:06.240 Uh. 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:09.160 One of them is a singer, you know, I'm a 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:11.720 I'm a I'm a real singer. Like I sing my 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:16.040 work and I sing other people's work. And stuff, and 0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:19.720 that is its own animal, who I know very little about, 0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:24.840 you know. It's it's kind of this creature that you know, 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:28.480 appears and I kind of just have to ride, you know, 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:30.840 and make sure that you know, to put it back 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:35.520 or doesn't or doesn't devour other people. So so it's 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:40.160 this there's this animalistic side. Then there's the songwriter, you know, 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:42.120 which is more sort of like where I come from, 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.840 like my family. It's like our trade, you know. It's 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:47.960 like my sisters do it, my parents did it. It's 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:51.880 what I learned how to do and and I love 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:55.040 doing it and so forth. And then there's the composer 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:57.840 wanting to be a composer. I think that's really me in. 0:16:57.920 --> 0:17:00.320 Terms of composer. Yeah, well that's what I want to 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:01.720 do as a human being. 0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:03.480 I was like, I want to I would like to 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.080 be a composer, and I've I've managed to do that somewhat. 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:10.160 It's not all I do, but I mean, I'm talking 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:12.080 up the stream requiem a lot, but it's just it's 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:12.919 a big deal for me. 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:15.640 So no, it is a big deal. But to write 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:20.000 a requiem mass is almost like it it one we're 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:21.840 thinking it was. It's kind of an act of devotion 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:22.880 in a way. 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:25.920 Right, Well, no, no, what's odd about it is that 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:27.800 you know I wrote, I wrote a lot of it 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:33.600 here in l A. There's a beautiful mansion in Silver 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:36.439 like called the Paramour Estate, which is this old. It 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:38.960 looks like something from Sunset Boulevard. It's up on top 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:43.680 of a hill with these incredible views. And uh and 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:46.600 I was and the owner of this wonderful woman, Dana, 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:52.160 she let me use the a wing of the estate 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:55.760 to compose the requiem. And I was there for a 0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:58.720 long time for months, and especially the I don't know 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:01.280 if you remember if you live in a right you live. 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:02.640 I have done. I don't anymore. 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:05.879 But there was a there was a there was a 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:08.199 winter like a couple of years ago where it was 0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:09.800 just raining, and it was when there was like ten 0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:12.320 feet of snow in the mountains like people. 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:14.399 I think it was webs. 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:17.600 So I was kind of shacked up in this in 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:21.000 this estate. And the estate, after it had been privately owned, 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:24.679 had been turned into into a Catholic girls school. So 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:28.360 there was all these crosses, and you know, Virgin Mary's everywhere, 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:31.800 and and and and it just I don't know it 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:35.280 just poured out of me all of these religious kind 0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:38.439 of feelings, and especially you know, working with the Mass 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:42.760 and the Latin Mass, and really and and and I 0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:48.840 was a little frightened at how easily it it came forth. 0:18:49.000 --> 0:18:53.240 And and in the end I decided, you know, I 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:56.720 may not be you know, Catholic or anything, but but 0:18:56.840 --> 0:18:59.160 I would say that certainly, in the world we live 0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:06.560 in right now, which is so crazy and so you know, troubling, 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:11.359 there is a need for some Christian, real Christian values. 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:13.040 And I'm not talking about the church. I'm not talking 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:16.919 about you know, but just just like good you know 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:21.760 that shall not kill you know, you know everyone you know, 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:24.800 and you know, let's save the poor and be good 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:26.919 to the poor, and like, you know, these kind of 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:32.600 simple Christian things which are very touching and and we 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:34.560 and the world still needs even though you know you 0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:37.000 don't have to do it as a religious person necessarily, 0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:39.440 and even the religious people aren't doing it right now, which. 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:43.080 Is it's a real it's a real conflict. Do you 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:46.320 I wonder if you're talking about living in the wing 0:19:46.400 --> 0:19:49.199 of this like mad old mansion as you as you 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:54.240 write that, this uh, this Requiem Mass whenever I write, 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:58.040 or if I talk to people who I write, Pruves 0:19:58.160 --> 0:20:01.960 and other people who write Prus the US. Music as 0:20:02.240 --> 0:20:04.359 as a place to go. A lot of people use 0:20:04.440 --> 0:20:07.439 music as a place to go to to go to 0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:10.560 a place of inspiration or a place where the doors 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:13.960 open up, or or to put yourself somewhere else. And 0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:16.399 I wonder if that's possible for a musician to do, 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:18.960 or if there's some kind of other stimulus that has 0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:21.560 to that has to be It is the silence, the 0:20:22.480 --> 0:20:24.560 something that does it is the music inside your head. 0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:28.199 Already it used to be alcohol and drugs. Well, and 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:31.280 that was a great That was a great one. Yeah, 0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:32.200 that did the trick. 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:38.320 Now not now, not not as much so, So I 0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:43.640 would say, you know, it's funny because I mean, once 0:20:43.720 --> 0:20:45.840 we get into that conversation, I mean, I you know, 0:20:45.880 --> 0:20:49.960 I certainly I was afraid, you know, when I quit 0:20:50.040 --> 0:20:53.280 drinking a long time ago, that that I wouldn't be 0:20:53.560 --> 0:20:56.520 uh inspired, and I wouldn't be able to find you know, 0:20:56.680 --> 0:20:59.160 and you know and get into that that that that 0:20:59.280 --> 0:21:05.879 place I have found. Actually now that aging is the 0:21:06.000 --> 0:21:11.760 new kind of like hing of like not feeling so strong, 0:21:11.920 --> 0:21:19.040 not feeling more vulnerable, seeing your child have complete control 0:21:19.080 --> 0:21:23.119 over you, you know, and uh and just and and 0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:24.760 it's sort of and then that's when I kind of 0:21:24.760 --> 0:21:28.600 cling to songwriting into you know, lyrics and stuff and 0:21:28.600 --> 0:21:30.720 and and or going to a concert and hearing I 0:21:30.720 --> 0:21:34.480 find myself much more inspired now in a deep way, 0:21:34.600 --> 0:21:38.080 by by by by what's happen, by what's happening around me, 0:21:38.160 --> 0:21:40.400 because I I've gotten a little older and I kind 0:21:40.400 --> 0:21:43.040 of understand it more and it's therefore it's more frightening. 0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:47.240 Yeah, I I think I think the aging thing is 0:21:47.240 --> 0:21:51.400 is a fabulously interested in vain because I always thought 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:54.320 I actually I have a tattoo right here where I 0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:59.840 normally wear my watch of Saturn, the Bringer of old Age, 0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:03.639 and you know, and and these Saturn and hosts. The 0:22:03.680 --> 0:22:06.520 Planet Suites was was kind of what got me onto 0:22:06.520 --> 0:22:08.760 it because in the Planet Suite with all the kind 0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:13.119 of rumpty tumpty, and then the Saturn piece of music 0:22:13.600 --> 0:22:18.119 is so weird. It's and I feel that aging is. 0:22:18.320 --> 0:22:22.840 I think you really nailed that. These kind of weird 0:22:23.240 --> 0:22:28.720 pushing minor chords, and it's like it's very very odd. 0:22:29.160 --> 0:22:31.359 It's not just the mortality aspect of it. It's the 0:22:31.400 --> 0:22:34.000 whole kind of this is. 0:22:34.080 --> 0:22:38.480 Well, this is it's also the gifts that you from 0:22:38.480 --> 0:22:42.119 from having survived and you know, gone through these experiences. 0:22:42.119 --> 0:22:44.400