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Speaker 1: Hi, Hello, Hello, how are you this morning. I'm good,

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Speaker 1: I'm good. How was your vacation? Oh my god, it

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Speaker 1: was so good? Oh yeah, yeah, Oh my gosh, it

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Speaker 1: was wonderfault. We stayed at the Weston Resort that had

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Speaker 1: waterfalls and slides and all kinds of things, and of

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Speaker 1: course I like did all the kitty water slides, which

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Speaker 1: was very fun. And then we went to the wedding

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Speaker 1: at the Four Seasons on Maui, the White Lotus Hotel.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh cute. So that was fun. I remember

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Speaker 1: when Connie Britton was filming there, She's like, this place's magic,

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Speaker 1: come visit because it was all closed off for COVID. Mmmmmm,

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Speaker 1: Hi Brad, Hi Brad you guys, Chelsea. I have to

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Speaker 1: say I love that you caught the ire of Tucker

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Speaker 1: Carlson and those motherfuckers. I take a lot of pleasure

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Speaker 1: in that. Yeah, your response was pretty epic, though, it

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Speaker 1: was pretty Oh thanks. Can you imagine having a conversation

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Speaker 1: about women drying? In twenty twenty three, somebody wrote there

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Speaker 1: parodying misogyny, like it it's not even how you really

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Speaker 1: are misogynistic anymore. It's so ridiculous, it's so basic intellectual

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Speaker 1: like women hating. I just love men telling us how

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Speaker 1: miserable we are, because what the fuck do you care

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Speaker 1: what we're doing? You fucking go get a life. Oh

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Speaker 1: imagine reporting on me and my childless video as a

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Speaker 1: news anchor. His hot takes, his hot takes. There's any

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Speaker 1: more hot takes? We need it. It's not from Tucker Carlson.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, serio journalism. Are we calling that journalist? No,

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Speaker 1: it's not journalism. I don't even think he claims to

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Speaker 1: be a journalist. He's just talking. He's like an entertainer, yes,

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Speaker 1: a personality, if you will, just like me, I also

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Speaker 1: have a personality, indeed, you dude, And when those two

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Speaker 1: personalities collide, it makes for entertainment, makes for very very

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Speaker 1: good content. You must be so sad up there, surrounded

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Speaker 1: by friends and family, having the time of your life

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Speaker 1: on a mountaintop. I know, I was sitting in my underwear.

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Speaker 1: It was so funny. I was lying in bed, just

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Speaker 1: like he thought I would be. I was lying in bed,

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Speaker 1: and I was taking the day off from skiing because

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Speaker 1: I had to I had to read a script. I

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Speaker 1: had to read all this stuff. I'm sitting in bed

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Speaker 1: and then I get all these alerts from like, you know,

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Speaker 1: people going have you seen this? Have you seen this?

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Speaker 1: And after like the sixteenth one, I'm like, I guess

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to take a shower and fucking respond

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Speaker 1: to this asshole. And then the Daily Show emailed me

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Speaker 1: and they're like, do you have to respond? We will

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Speaker 1: help you write a response. I was like, great, this

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Speaker 1: is what I want to say. They wrote it, then

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Speaker 1: send it back to me, and then I edited it

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Speaker 1: and like added some stuff, and then I was like, Okay.

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Speaker 1: It was really funny because that's what got me out

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Speaker 1: of bed that day was Tucker Carlson. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe I had to take a shower for

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Speaker 1: this fucking asshole so I can film something. Yeah, oh

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Speaker 1: my goodness, that's one way to do that. I can't

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Speaker 1: wait to see what he says next. But it'd be

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Speaker 1: funny if he got so scared that he just didn't

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Speaker 1: respond again my god, all right, oh my goodness. I

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Speaker 1: just added a show to Red Rocks Amphitheater in Morrison, Colorado. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm coming to Red Rocks, which is gonna be awesome.

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Speaker 1: That's gonna be very very cool. I know that's like

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Speaker 1: one of Brad's favorite venues. Okay, So, our guest today

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Speaker 1: is a friend of mine. She is a co host

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Speaker 1: of the iHeart podcast Drama Queens with her co stars

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Speaker 1: from One Tree Hill. She hosts her own podcast called

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Speaker 1: Work in Progress, which I've been in or on, and

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Speaker 1: she starts in the upcoming film called Junction. She's an actress,

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Speaker 1: she's an entrepreneur my favorite word, and activist. Sophia Bush.

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Speaker 1: It's here, Hi Sophia, Hi, Hi honey Bunny, Hi cutie pie.

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Speaker 1: Oh you're the best. Thanks for coming in so on

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Speaker 1: such short notice. Oh my god, wouldn't miss it. How's Whistler?

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Speaker 1: Pretty magical? We've been getting a lot of snow. It's

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Speaker 1: been light all season and now it's coming. So yesterday

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Speaker 1: was just like it was like skiing on clouds. We

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Speaker 1: were just like bouncing all over. It was so fun.

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Speaker 1: I gotta get out there with you one of these seasons.

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Speaker 1: I just love it so much. Sophia, this is Katherine,

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Speaker 1: this is my co host. How are you? I'm great?

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Speaker 1: How are you? Thank you good? Got your ice coffee?

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Speaker 1: What are you drinking? Sophia? What kind of concoction is that?

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Speaker 1: It's bone broth. Oh god, I knew it would be

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Speaker 1: something of that elk. You know, I was wondering. I

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Speaker 1: was like, is she going to answer the zoom? She

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Speaker 1: going to be in like maple leaf pasties with a martini.

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Speaker 1: I would have loved it, I know. I know. That's

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Speaker 1: usually how I operate around here. I just go throughout

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Speaker 1: the town the villages. I like to refer to it

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Speaker 1: as because to me, it is a village. Sophia. We

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Speaker 1: have a lot to catch up on because you got

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Speaker 1: married without my permission and I was planning being there,

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Speaker 1: but then I was on tour, so I couldn't come

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Speaker 1: to your wedding, which was I really wanted to be

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Speaker 1: there with you on your special day. Tell me about it.

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Speaker 1: I know I missed your humor. It was amazing. It

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Speaker 1: was so tremendously special. Also, your tour was fucking badass.

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Speaker 1: I love the New Special so much. I'm really having

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Speaker 1: a great time. I watched it three times. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: making nighttime like joy moment. So thank you. The wedding

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Speaker 1: was amazing, you know it's I mean, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how you feel about the weird shit that comes with

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Speaker 1: what we do, but when we got engaged. It was

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Speaker 1: wild to see, like the amount of attention that an

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Speaker 1: Instagram post garnered. I wasn't prepared for articles and languages

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Speaker 1: that I have no idea how to read, and for

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Speaker 1: it to be such news. I was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: like Jennifer Aniston is famous, like Reese Witherspoon is famous,

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Speaker 1: like I don't know, like I do TV. But I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't expect that, And it actually really enabled us

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Speaker 1: in talking about how that felt and what that meant

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Speaker 1: and was there a way to make it seem less overwhelming.

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Speaker 1: It enabled us to figure out how, if that was

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Speaker 1: going to be the sort of attention that comes from

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Speaker 1: our relationship, how we could do something really good with it.

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Speaker 1: And so we went to Tulsa and it was really

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Speaker 1: an unbelievable moment. And being able to use our wedding

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Speaker 1: to teach folks about the nineteen twenty one race massacre

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Speaker 1: and about doctor Tiffany Crutcher and all the people on

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Speaker 1: the ground, the Blackwall Street Times and their staff, all

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Speaker 1: the people who were doing the work to rebuild Greenwood.

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Speaker 1: Getting Vogue magazine to talk about Greenwood felt really cool.

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Speaker 1: So it was special for us, and it was special

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Speaker 1: for our community. And did you guys, either one of

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Speaker 1: you have a tie tell Tulsa. Yeah. Grant is a

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Speaker 1: fifth generation Oklahoma and he grew up in a farming

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Speaker 1: family and their three hours west of Tulsa. And so

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Speaker 1: when we went on our very first trip to visit

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Speaker 1: his family, he was like, Hey, I have these friends

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Speaker 1: working on progressive politics and social justice and Tulsa and

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Speaker 1: do you want to go three hours east of my

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Speaker 1: parents and meet them too? And I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to marry the shit out of this man. Good

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Speaker 1: I do. I want to go meet that whole community.

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Speaker 1: So for the last three years, Tulsa has kind of

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Speaker 1: been our home away from home. Oh cute, that's cool.

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Speaker 1: I'm performing in Tulsa coming up when, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: we'll come. I don't know. I have to look at

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Speaker 1: my calendar, but I know I have a Tulsa, Oklahoma date.

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Speaker 1: Oh great. And I don't think I've ever performed in Tulsa.

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Speaker 1: I've performed Oklahoma City, which is always fun. It's always

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Speaker 1: fun to go to those cities because you just like

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Speaker 1: what you're talking about. There's a whole you know, undercurrent

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Speaker 1: of liberalism. Always to pocket in these cities, and so

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Speaker 1: when you go there and then you meet up with

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Speaker 1: your people, you're like, oh, yeah, this is great. You know,

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Speaker 1: there's like minded at people everywhere, truly, and Tulsa so special,

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Speaker 1: and the sort of richness of the history there and

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Speaker 1: the black history there and the progressive history there and

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Speaker 1: the sort of classic Americana and the music and all

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Speaker 1: the art, and it's just like a really unbelievably beautiful

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Speaker 1: place and it's well, we should probably cover the Tulsa

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Speaker 1: massacre for those of you who are listening who are

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Speaker 1: not familiar with what happened in Tulsa, Sophia, do you

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Speaker 1: want to lead on this? Yeah, So in nineteen twenty one,

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Speaker 1: a case that began very similarly. You know, most people

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Speaker 1: know about the murder of Emmett Till when he was

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Speaker 1: young and accused of whistling at a white woman who

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Speaker 1: happens to still be alive and has never been brought

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Speaker 1: to justice for what she did to that fourteen year

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Speaker 1: old boy. It was the photographs of him that really

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Speaker 1: helped to educate America on what the enactment of racist

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Speaker 1: violence looks like. And Tulsa is as an event the

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Speaker 1: massacre of nineteen twenty one, which was inaccurately called a

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Speaker 1: race riot. You know, they love to call things riots

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Speaker 1: that have harmed at risk communities, and in Tulsa as well,

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Speaker 1: there's so much evidence in terms of not just photographs,

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Speaker 1: but insurance records. We understand the devastation of families, and

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Speaker 1: we understand not only the emotional and graphical impacts, but

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Speaker 1: we understand the financial impacts of those things, which historically

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Speaker 1: in violence against black communities have been harder to prove.

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Speaker 1: It's harder to go back into the eighteen hundreds, for example,

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Speaker 1: and have those conversations. So Tulsa is an interesting place

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Speaker 1: to get educated for the breadth of information that you

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Speaker 1: can gather. And in nineteen twenty one, a young man

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Speaker 1: was accused of attacking a young black man was accused

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Speaker 1: of attacking a white woman in an elevator. Didn't happen.

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Speaker 1: He was then taken to jail, and fathers and men

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Speaker 1: in the black community came to the jail and surrounded

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Speaker 1: it to ensure that this young man was not lynched

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Speaker 1: by white members of the community, who publicly stated that

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Speaker 1: day that they were going to bring a lynch mob

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Speaker 1: to the jail that night. And the men came armed

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Speaker 1: both sides did. It turned into a pretty violent situation

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Speaker 1: very quickly. And the really arresting thing to understand about

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Speaker 1: Tulsa is that, with the support of the National Guard,

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Speaker 1: white citizens were deputized as sheriff's deputies on the spot

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Speaker 1: and they murdered hundreds of black families. They got farmers

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Speaker 1: who had planes for crop dusting up in the air

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Speaker 1: and firebombed Greenwood. And many of the people who have

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Speaker 1: seen the Watchman or who have looked into this, know

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Speaker 1: the corner of Greenwood and Archer, and they think, like

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Speaker 1: that was Blackwall Street, that street was Blackwall Street. But

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Speaker 1: Blackwall Street was a neighborhood that was forty square blocks

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Speaker 1: in a city forty blocks by forty blocks, and the

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Speaker 1: entire thing was burned to the ground. Hotels and doctors

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Speaker 1: offices and movie theaters and car dealerships. This was the

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Speaker 1: wealthiest black community in America. There were multi millionaires in

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Speaker 1: nineteen twenty one in Tulsa, in Greenwood, and people didn't

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Speaker 1: like it. They didn't like the success of a community

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Speaker 1: that they had been trying to oppress for so long.

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Speaker 1: And it is one of the most gregious violent acts

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Speaker 1: that has been recorded in our nation's history, and it's heavy.

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Speaker 1: It's not lost on me, and it certainly was not

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Speaker 1: lost on my husband and I that in a moment

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Speaker 1: where we see so many people like Ding Dong, Ron

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Speaker 1: DeSantis and every other asshole chatting on Fox News trying

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Speaker 1: to literally ban our history. We know survivors of the

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Speaker 1: race massacre. There are still living survivors of this massacre

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Speaker 1: in nineteen twenty one, and if we don't learn our history,

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Speaker 1: we're not going to see it coming when it begins

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Speaker 1: to repeat itself. And so for us, it felt really

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Speaker 1: important to have our big beautiful day on a Saturday.

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Speaker 1: But ask all the people who know us, it's like, look,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna you're coming to the wedding of your favorite

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Speaker 1: activist friend and her former public school teacher husband. Like

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Speaker 1: you're gonna do some homework. And so we did this big,

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Speaker 1: beautiful museum day and toured through Greenwood and met with

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Speaker 1: the Crutcher Foundation. And I have to just say thank

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Speaker 1: you to everyone in Tulsa, because when I said to

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Speaker 1: doctor Krutcher, who works on these justice issues every day,

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Speaker 1: like can I bring two hundred people to your office?

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Speaker 1: She was like what sure, okay, And so we literally

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Speaker 1: split everyone into these four groups to fifty and we

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Speaker 1: rotated people through Greenwood all day. Wow, people time to process,

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Speaker 1: and they've been to museums and journalists offices and the

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Speaker 1: Greenwood Cultural Center and the John Hope Reconciliation Park and

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Speaker 1: some people needed to cry and some people needed to

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Speaker 1: talk about it. And we rented out a bar and

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Speaker 1: we were like, do whatever you feel like you need

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Speaker 1: to do, have a beer when you go home, when

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Speaker 1: you talk about our wedding, please tell this story because like,

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Speaker 1: plenty of people get married, but we need to make

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Speaker 1: sure that this is a story that doesn't get you

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Speaker 1: pulled off the bookshelves and schools like we're seeing now, Wow,

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Speaker 1: that's so beautiful. It was gnarly, like a lot of

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Speaker 1: people cried. But what's been beautiful about it, And what

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Speaker 1: I find so special is I you know, I know

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Speaker 1: it can be painful to look back at history like this.

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Speaker 1: It's painful for communities, and it's hard to know that

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Speaker 1: we come from humans that do this to each other, right,

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Speaker 1: But what always gives me hope when I learn hard

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Speaker 1: history is the people that are helping now. So it

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Speaker 1: felt special to say you need to know about this,

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Speaker 1: And here's all the people who have rebuilt a community

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Speaker 1: from the ground and are continuing to do so. When

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Speaker 1: you want to know what to do about things that

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Speaker 1: are this hard, look to these people and support their work.

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Speaker 1: And that's where the inspiration comes, and that's where the

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Speaker 1: joy comes. And that's where like the beauty out of

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Speaker 1: things that were so ugly in the past, I think

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Speaker 1: comes in the present. And I'll be forever grateful that

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Speaker 1: that whole community said absolutely, tell us who you want

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Speaker 1: to bring, and tell us what you want to want

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Speaker 1: them to learn about and the best people I know. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's also nice to be married to somebody who's so

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Speaker 1: aligned with your political leanings right and human Well, you're

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Speaker 1: passion for human rights is probably a better way to

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Speaker 1: describe it, because it's been past as politics and it's

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Speaker 1: not political, but it has somehow has become political. Your body,

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Speaker 1: your race, all of it. So, yeah, tell me about

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Speaker 1: that like kind of relationship having somebody who's totally on

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Speaker 1: the same page as you, because I don't know, I've

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Speaker 1: never really felt completely aligned with that person that I

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Speaker 1: was dating politically, like we might have some of the

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Speaker 1: same beliefs but still there's a lot of disagreement. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I get that. I think what you first said is

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Speaker 1: really important, right, This idea that people deserve to be

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Speaker 1: treated equally shouldn't be political, the idea that whether you

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Speaker 1: are a woman or you are a member of a

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Speaker 1: historically repressed community, you're not supposed to just be there

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Speaker 1: to serve the ruling class. We don't live in the

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Speaker 1: French aristocracy, and yet there's a lot of folks in

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Speaker 1: our country who love a modern day aristocracy because they

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Speaker 1: get really, really rich. And the lol to me is

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Speaker 1: always that they're the people who yell at us for

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Speaker 1: being rich. And I'm like, I'm paying a thirty year

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Speaker 1: mortgage on my house, Like having had a down payment

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Speaker 1: is certainly a privilege. But Tucker Carlson is so rich,

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Speaker 1: Like that guy makes forty six million dollars a year

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Speaker 1: and he's yelling at us. You know, we're out here

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Speaker 1: like making independent movies for a dollar. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: fund yourself, dude. So it's not lost on me. I

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Speaker 1: won't ever say a bad word about Tucker Carlson. So

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Speaker 1: don't try, Sophia. I know, I know, Chelsea, You're just

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Speaker 1: you're a classier broad than I. But um, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's not lost on me that people make money off

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Speaker 1: convincing the populace that our basic human rights are political.

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Speaker 1: And I think because things have gotten so hot, like

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Speaker 1: the pot is boiling right, everybody's real jumpy and people

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Speaker 1: feel like their identity is tied to politics. I don't

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Speaker 1: feel like that. I just feel like I'm not a

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Speaker 1: ding dong who doesn't get that equal is equal and

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Speaker 1: inequal isn't. And so that's sort of my first place.

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Speaker 1: And I will say it is hard to find a partner,

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Speaker 1: regardless of how progressive so many of the men we

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Speaker 1: know are. You know, if you're looking for a heterosexual relationship,

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Speaker 1: a lot of guys are like, yeah, I'm all in.

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Speaker 1: But then when it's their girl that's the bright, shiny one,

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Speaker 1: or their girls the one who draws the attention, or

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Speaker 1: their girls the reason they get invited to the White House,

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Speaker 1: or their girl makes more money than them, suddenly what

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Speaker 1: they say they believe in is egotistically very difficult. And

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Speaker 1: so what I think is really important is for me,

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Speaker 1: at least having found a human being who had entered

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Speaker 1: a stage in his life where he said, okay, I'm

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Speaker 1: saying I want to meet the woman of my dreams?

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Speaker 1: Where am I not aligned with what I say? But

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Speaker 1: he had to confront some things, and so did I.

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Speaker 1: I had to. He had to confront the ways in

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Speaker 1: which he could actually tabolize what masculinity and patriarchy does

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Speaker 1: in relationships, even unconsciously. For someone as evolved as he is,

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Speaker 1: who has three master's degrees and loves the environment and

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Speaker 1: was a teacher and all the stuff. He had to

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Speaker 1: really do some inquiry about the way society kind of

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Speaker 1: steeps us in these teas that are gross. And I

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Speaker 1: had to do some real inquiry and go, oh, I've

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Speaker 1: been in relationships with people who didn't deserve me. It's

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Speaker 1: been my fault because I've tolerated somebody's ineptitude and competitiveness.

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Speaker 1: So as much as past relationships and certain circumstances were trash,

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Speaker 1: I took trash home with me. So you two fault

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Speaker 1: system here. And I had to really get clear on

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Speaker 1: where I was going to realign my boundaries. And I

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Speaker 1: also had to get clear on how those experiences and

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Speaker 1: other traumas I'd been through had made me really hard

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Speaker 1: and I don't mean hard to be around. I mean

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Speaker 1: hard to like, emotionally penetrate. I was going to say

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Speaker 1: hard to penetrate. I'm like, what emotionally panget like hard

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Speaker 1: to get into the heart all the way, I've had

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Speaker 1: such walls, and I have such healthy emotional relationships with

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Speaker 1: my friends. My platonic relationships are so loving that I

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Speaker 1: was kind of like, I'm good and I had to

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Speaker 1: really do some work on getting vulnerable in a way

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Speaker 1: where I could not only have a rallying cry for us,

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Speaker 1: for community, for justice, but I could also gently cry

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Speaker 1: and say this is really hard for me. I need help.

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Speaker 1: This is where I need support. This is where I

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Speaker 1: normally isolate and say fuck you don't. I don't need

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Speaker 1: you to carry that for me. And now I'm like,

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Speaker 1: will you please just put my bag in the overhead

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Speaker 1: been I'm so tired and so in a way, we

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Speaker 1: had to meet on so many levels, and interestingly, in

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Speaker 1: analyzing how society affects relationships between men and women, I

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Speaker 1: think it made it so clear that the community politics

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Speaker 1: that we believe in was like, for sure the easiest part.

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Speaker 1: Dealing with your own internal individual psychosis is way harder,

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Speaker 1: at least in my recent experience than aligning with somebody politically,

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Speaker 1: because every dingdong they tried to date me that then

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Speaker 1: was like mad about female success. I was just like, bye, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's very true what you say about how people say

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Speaker 1: they're one thing and they're down with it and they're

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Speaker 1: you know, with it, and they're supportive of women, and

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Speaker 1: then it becomes a totally different story when you come

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Speaker 1: face to face with it in like a romantic relationship. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I wonder about this for somebody like you, because

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Speaker 1: you are one of the most successful women in our industry.

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Speaker 1: You are brilliant, you are you're always the funniest person

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Speaker 1: in the room, which has to be hard for people

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Speaker 1: who like to be funny. And you have not only

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Speaker 1: always been at this level of success, but you've also

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Speaker 1: so publicly shown what it's like to continue evolving and

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Speaker 1: growing and getting like qushier and more tender, and your

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Speaker 1: political lessons you learn out loud and in public, which

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Speaker 1: is such a beautiful model for people. And like, sometimes

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Speaker 1: I think about it when when men are obsessed with

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Speaker 1: you as most of them are, where I'm like, you

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Speaker 1: knew exactly what you were getting into, Like that's Chelsea

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Speaker 1: fucking handler. Nothing is a surprise. I know. It's like

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Speaker 1: there are six books about it, so if I could

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Speaker 1: pick one up and it'll cover all your bases. She's badass.

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Speaker 1: She's this person. Did you think at home she was

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Speaker 1: going to be like, oh honey, sweetie baby, what can

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Speaker 1: I do for your feet? My apron on all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, I'm just like living two parallel lives. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So Sophia, well thank you for those accolades. I feel

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Speaker 1: the same way about you. You're always constantly learning and

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Speaker 1: evolving and sharing, and you're brilliant. You're so fucking smart.

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Speaker 1: I remember the first time I hung out with you,

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Speaker 1: and I think it was Connie Britten was with us

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Speaker 1: and then Cindy leave. Not the first time, but one

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Speaker 1: of the times we respect together. I was when Connie

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Speaker 1: and I were driving home and I was like, fuck,

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Speaker 1: she's smart. I was like, she is Mark. And it's

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Speaker 1: not I mean not to put everyone else in this

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Speaker 1: industry down, but it's just always really encouraging when you

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Speaker 1: sit down next to somebody at a Hollywood event and

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Speaker 1: you're like blown away, you know, So there's that. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: what we're gonna do is we have live callers calling

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Speaker 1: in or writing in, and we're just going to tell

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Speaker 1: them what to do with their lives. Okay, Sophie. I

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Speaker 1: think we're totally both very well equipped for this partnership today. Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: I'm the multiple degrees I have in psychology. No, I

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Speaker 1: don't make me profied for this. I'm self certified, which

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Speaker 1: is much different than a degree, a certification. I'm like

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Speaker 1: a masseuse, a massage therapist. And then someone goes, where'd

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00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 1: you train? And you're like on people University of Phoenix,

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Speaker 1: Like Malcolm Gladwell has that whole ten thousand hours theory right,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, ten thousand hours of like therapy

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Speaker 1: and psychedelic therapies and the retreats I've done and the

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Speaker 1: places I've gone, and I have to be a professional

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00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 1: at this by now. Yeah. I agree with that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I think I don't even think it needs you

400
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Speaker 1: need ten thousand hours. I think things, if you're smart enough,

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00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 1: I think you need half that time. Perfect. Okay, Katherine,

402
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 1: what do we have in stir Oh? First we'll take

403
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 1: a quick break and then we're gonna come right back. Okay,

404
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,239
Speaker 1: and we're back, Yes we are. I actually have a

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Speaker 1: perfect question for the conversation we've just been having. It

406
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Speaker 1: was question number four and now it's jumping to number one.

407
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Speaker 1: But this is like the top forty, It's like Saturday

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Speaker 1: Afternoons with Casey Kasum. Yes, so this is from back,

409
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 1: the singer the same question, right, Just be easy. It's

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00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 1: a back I probably is okay. I would be thrilled

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Speaker 1: to give advice to back to back, but I would

412
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Speaker 1: exchange it for performed songs. Be like every every question

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Speaker 1: is a song. Well be a concert anyway, you railed

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Speaker 1: the conversation album concert. What what does Beck be easy

415
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: see want to know from us? So, Beck says, Dear Chelsea.

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Speaker 1: First off, I'm a huge fan of the show and

417
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 1: have listened regularly since day one. You guys keep me

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Speaker 1: accountable and encourage me to try and grow. Here's my problem.

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Speaker 1: I'm in a long term relationship with a man who

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Speaker 1: has only in the last year or so started to

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Speaker 1: share worrying opinions. We have one six month old baby

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Speaker 1: together and another on the way. Whoopsie doodle. That's pretty quick,

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Speaker 1: which makes it hard to know what is the right

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Speaker 1: thing to do in this situation. My partner recently has

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Speaker 1: started to openly and overtly express his opinions on an

426
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,639
Speaker 1: array of different groups and conspiracies of late think Jordan

427
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: Peterson think, Russell Brand COVID is a hoax, women are

428
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,119
Speaker 1: out for blood, the world is ending. Russia are the

429
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: good guys today? He said something along the lines of

430
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 1: today's woke agenda is so mortifying. It's all just a

431
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 1: group of white women acting marginalized and campaigning for people

432
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 1: who don't want their help. I bite my tongue most

433
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,400
Speaker 1: of the time because these conversations always go nowhere, and

434
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 1: he's not open to hearing my counter argument. He spends

435
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 1: all his time on YouTube, watching alien conspiracy videos and

436
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 1: thinking he's smarter than everyone else. This is not the

437
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 1: man I originally started a relationship with, or even the

438
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 1: man I planned to have children with. He seems to

439
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,679
Speaker 1: be going deeper and deeper into his way of thinking

440
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 1: at an alarming rate. What the fuck do I do?

441
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 1: Thanks back, yaikes? That is not a good situation, is no.

442
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: I mean you're gonna have to skidattle unfortunately. I mean

443
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,640
Speaker 1: you can't reason with somebody. Anybody who's reading conspiracy theories

444
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: online is gone. They've left the building, and it's not

445
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 1: your job to get them back. I mean, I'm really

446
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 1: sorry to hear well. I mean I'm happy. I'm sure

447
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 1: you are happy that you have your daughter and then

448
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 1: you have one on the way or I'm sorry, I

449
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:50,919
Speaker 1: don't know if it was a daughter or son. I

450
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 1: missed that part. But you have one child and you've

451
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: one on the way. I understand how difficult this is

452
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: going to be, but you're going to be a champion

453
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: if you just get yourself out of this situation. Because

454
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:02,199
Speaker 1: if you can't listen to your point of view and

455
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 1: you're not having this is such a big huge sign

456
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 1: for you to get out and explain to him that

457
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,119
Speaker 1: you can't be with somebody who's reading make it up

458
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:14,199
Speaker 1: stories on the internet, like the least likely scenario is

459
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 1: the least likely scenario. So anyone who doesn't have the

460
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: gift of critical thinking or has learned about that and

461
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 1: how to understand what's true and what's not, that's not

462
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 1: somebody that you want, even around your children. So you

463
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 1: immediately have to like draw a line in the sand

464
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 1: and let him know this is a unacceptable. I'm not

465
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 1: down with this. You're scaring me. And if you're not

466
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,880
Speaker 1: going to like do something about it and actually get

467
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 1: some help, or be open minded to my opinions and

468
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 1: actually have real conversations, which is just too far gone anyway,

469
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,439
Speaker 1: he's already wrapped up in his nonsense. I think you

470
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:52,360
Speaker 1: just got to get out of there, Sophia. Yeah, I mean,

471
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 1: I don't know how you come back from it. You know,

472
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,639
Speaker 1: I understand there is a toxicity in those algorithms where

473
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 1: when you start to look, suddenly that's all you see.

474
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 1: And I think it's important to understand that it is

475
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 1: being under an influence. It's like this guy's doing heroin.

476
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 1: Conspiracy theories are a drug and they are designed to

477
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 1: make you addicted, and the psychology of them, if you

478
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 1: do any light study, proves that the way they work

479
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 1: is they make people feel special because they get to

480
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 1: say I know something you don't know. I have the

481
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: information you haven't found yet. It's not grounded in reality.

482
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 1: Something that I have found really helpful recently. I've been

483
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 1: very horrified to learn that someone who I have loved

484
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 1: for a very long time has gotten on the edges,

485
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:43,399
Speaker 1: sucked into the Jordan Peterson world. And the thing that

486
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 1: I saw get through it wasn't saying Jordan Peterson defends rapists,

487
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,200
Speaker 1: defends the sex trafficking of children. He believes Andrew Tate

488
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 1: is a good guy. He is a misogynist in a suit.

489
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,439
Speaker 1: He's like a guy who beats his wife dressed up

490
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 1: like a college professor. Jordan Peterson is none of that cracked.

491
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 1: But when I said so, the generations of global study

492
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,680
Speaker 1: about equity aren't swaying you. But this one guy who's

493
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 1: speaking in a way that you think is deep, who

494
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 1: charges forty ninety nine a month to teach you how

495
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,120
Speaker 1: to be a man, seems like the guy, the guy

496
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,200
Speaker 1: with all the answers, makes you pay him to give

497
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,120
Speaker 1: them to you. It's just like Tucker Carlson. He makes

498
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,959
Speaker 1: forty six million dollars a year to lie. And just

499
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,160
Speaker 1: this week all those text messages were published about him

500
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: making fun of Donald Trump and making fun of Rudy

501
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 1: Giuliani and calling them all a bunch of lunatics and

502
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 1: saying there was no voter fraud and they all knew

503
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 1: from the beginning, but they pushed the lies on Fox

504
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 1: News because they made money. People are taking brains like

505
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 1: this woman Beck's husband's hostage for profit. And if that

506
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 1: truth can't give him just enough of a coldwater shock,

507
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: so look elsewhere. Then, you know, to Chelsea's point, he's

508
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,719
Speaker 1: way too far are gone and it's heartbreaking and I

509
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 1: can't imagine having to leave the person who I thought

510
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 1: was the love of my life. But I wouldn't let

511
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,360
Speaker 1: a heroin addict around my children. And that's what these

512
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 1: conspiracy theories amen to. That. Yeah, there is no reasoning

513
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 1: your way out of it. I think if he'll agree to,

514
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,439
Speaker 1: like find some counseling with you, or maybe you just

515
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 1: need to talk to a therapist by yourself, because my

516
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 1: guesses seems probably gonna say no, you could try that,

517
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,680
Speaker 1: but it does sound like there is an exit in

518
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 1: your future. Back yeah, and pick up some bone broth

519
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:33,919
Speaker 1: on the way. I mean, Sophia is drinking it and

520
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 1: she's as sharp as attack, so I have heard lots

521
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 1: of good things about it. Did you make that yourself?

522
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 1: Because it looks like iced coffee? Like it's that isn't

523
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: thick and unctious? I make my owne. I make my

524
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 1: own too. I did not make because it's been a

525
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: crazy week. So I did the bougiel A thing and

526
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 1: I went to Rowan and I was like cooking, maybe in.

527
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 1: One of them paid nine for expensive chart. So yeah,

528
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 1: on Monday, I'll be making more of my own because

529
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 1: you have to pay. Like I said earlier, Yeah, people

530
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 1: are always shocked. So they opened up my freezer like

531
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 1: why are there just a bunch of bones in here? Yeah?

532
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 1: I keep mine in a paper bag in the freezer

533
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 1: because it's less upsetting to the people who well come

534
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 1: over me and the people who often come over here.

535
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: I realized the like gallon ziplock was a little traumatizing,

536
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 1: So now it goes in a brown paper bag and

537
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 1: nobody has to know what's in there but me. Yes exactly.

538
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 1: People were like, what'd you get your husband for your wedding?

539
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 1: I'm like a bag of bonds. I don't know what

540
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 1: I would do a poor one. I know, well, I

541
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 1: mean I just don't understand how someone how long could

542
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 1: they have been they've had to been together or at

543
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 1: least over a year, and how does somebody keep their

544
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 1: opinions like that. I once had a boyfriend who blurted

545
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,959
Speaker 1: out something. We were going to lunch and I had

546
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 1: dated him for a while and he hadn't said he

547
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 1: wasn't really into politics, but like he didn't really know

548
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: what he was talking about about anything, but he never

549
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 1: spoke about them, so it wasn't that upsetting, right. But

550
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: then once we were at lunch and he goes, God,

551
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 1: this fucking Bill Gates guy running everybody's healthcare into the ground.

552
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 1: Why does he get to be like the health czar

553
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: for America? And I remember going, what, what what are

554
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,800
Speaker 1: you talking about? He's like, why is everybody listening to

555
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 1: Bill Gates? And just went on this Bill Gates And

556
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, you've read you're listening to people

557
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 1: who talk about conspiracy theories. But it's it's insidious, like

558
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 1: there there is a person in my life who like

559
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: is not conservative, and you know, they're very us dauntily independent,

560
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: they vote with who they like, but every once in

561
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 1: a while something will slip out of their mouth that's

562
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 1: like a little little duds over there, you know, and

563
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 1: it's just like it's in it's insidious, like some of

564
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 1: these ideas are woven through like actual journalism and sneaks

565
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: in there sometimes depending on what you're reading. You know,

566
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 1: what's interesting to me that I'm just from and bring

567
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 1: about what she said, this notion that her husband is

568
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 1: parroting the now progressive politics is just white women supporting

569
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: people who don't want their support. I'm like, oh, you

570
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 1: can't read between the lines at the deep patriarchy and that,

571
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 1: because what the nightmare of the conservative white man is

572
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: is that the women they want to marry who look

573
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 1: like the three of us, get over their bullshit and

574
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 1: we join up with all the people they've been oppressing forever.

575
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 1: So now they're like, no, no, no, don't don't let

576
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,840
Speaker 1: those white women come and listen in your rooms. Oh no.

577
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 1: And I'm like, are you worried that so many of

578
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 1: us are going and paying attention or you know what

579
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 1: I mean. It's such a tactic. It's like separating communities,

580
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 1: pitting different communities against each other. And it's been so

581
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 1: beautiful this year and this past year, I guess is

582
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 1: more accurate in the wake of all this horrible community

583
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: violence to see groups coming together, like Black and Asian

584
00:31:56,080 --> 00:32:00,160
Speaker 1: communities advocating alongside each other, Christian and Jewish community. He's

585
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 1: advocating alongside each other historically separated groups saying no, no, no, no,

586
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 1: we're not going to fall into those tropes. And it's

587
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: not lost on me that the conspiracy theorists want to

588
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 1: pooh poo groups of people coming together because they know

589
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 1: that the sum total of all of us is so

590
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: many more than just what's left of them, and they're

591
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 1: still afraid. Yeah. Our next question comes from Kristen Dear Chelsea.

592
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: My husband had a heart attack and passed February of

593
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. COVID played a role in his death.

594
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: I'm thirty five and he was only forty two. I

595
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 1: currently live on the East Coast. Our dream was to

596
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: head west and we were in the process of figuring

597
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 1: out our next journey there. I'm coming up to the

598
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 1: one year anniversary of his death. I'm going to Denver

599
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: to celebrate his life instead of sit in my apartment.

600
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: That's just two miles away from the hospital where he passed. Also,

601
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 1: I'm a firm believer that being in high altitude will

602
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 1: heal anything. I need advice as far as where to move.

603
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 1: I've been to California. I'm about to go to Denver,

604
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 1: and I'm very in tune with myself. I go to

605
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 1: mediums often. I'm a very spiritual person, but it's really

606
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: hard to figure out what the right move is. I

607
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 1: can't rebuild where I lived with him. Everything I see

608
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 1: is him. I need to go where we haven't been together.

609
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 1: I need to go where I have a blank canvas.

610
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 1: I just don't know where. Kristin Cushman, Hi, Kristen, Hi.

611
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 1: We have Sophia Bush today as our special guest. So

612
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 1: say hello to Sophia. It's nice to meet you. Oh,

613
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. Thank you for your letter. And

614
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: I know we're all just so sorry for your loss.

615
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,479
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. You have great brown hair. I'm

616
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 1: a huge fan of it. We have lots of hair

617
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: colors represented on this zoom girls, all of the body,

618
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 1: I'm sure. So how are you feeling a year out

619
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 1: of this? How are you mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically? All

620
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 1: great questions. So I first went to California for his

621
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 1: birthday in December. He passed February twenty twenty two. That

622
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 1: was magical. I found peace, I found happiness again. I

623
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 1: could feel him there. Then I was like, you know what,

624
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 1: let me go to Denver. We've both never been to Denver.

625
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:14,280
Speaker 1: Let me go have a week out there. And Denver

626
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 1: was everything that I thought it wasn't going to be.

627
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 1: I was not ready for Denver like Denver I thought

628
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 1: I was a free person, and I thought I was

629
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: very spiritual. I looked like a goddamn Republican. I was like,

630
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:33,320
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, okay, so Denver. It made Raleigh

631
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: feel more like home. It made me realize it's not

632
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 1: a location. So how are you feeling about moving now?

633
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:41,879
Speaker 1: Is that out the window or are you still considering it?

634
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:44,239
Speaker 1: You know, I am still open to it. It's hard

635
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 1: to find the right location because very in tuned with

636
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: myself energy is really important. Finding people who say the

637
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 1: right things instead of like, oh, I just can't imagine

638
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 1: what that feels like. It's like you can't imagine. You

639
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 1: just don't want to imagine it. You know, it's like

640
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 1: that's not the right thing to say. You could say

641
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 1: something like I know you're not okay, and then that

642
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 1: will make someone relax because then you're validating them, you know,

643
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: like trying to find places where people would understand me more,

644
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 1: or stop trying to find places when someone's in grief,

645
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 1: of displaying how good it you are for showing up

646
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 1: for them instead of just listening. You know, a lot

647
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:21,439
Speaker 1: of people are trying to like show you I'm here

648
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 1: for you and this is how good I am in

649
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: this situation, it's like, it's not about you, it's about

650
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 1: the person grieving. But I also think you just answer

651
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:31,439
Speaker 1: that question for yourself. At the beginning of this call,

652
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 1: you said, I realize it's not a location anymore, it's

653
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,040
Speaker 1: an energy, and that he's going to be wherever you go.

654
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 1: It's just about you finding peace. So that's why I'm

655
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 1: still curious you still feel as passionately about moving as

656
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 1: you did before. I do, I really do, Okay, I

657
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 1: know I can feel it. I'm supposed to. And the

658
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 1: thing is, I think if you're on the precipice and

659
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: you feel the next chapter coming, then you just have

660
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 1: to go with that feeling. That's what you know. You

661
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 1: can't know what place is going to be right for

662
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 1: you until you give it a shot. But what do

663
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 1: know is that you want to go. And we live

664
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 1: in this moment that if we were in our mom's generation,

665
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 1: it would have been so much harder for us to

666
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 1: pick up and move. We're the airbnb kids. You can

667
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 1: go anywhere for six weeks and rent an apartment or

668
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 1: a house, no strings attached. Who cares? So go to

669
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 1: Denver and see and then I don't know, go to

670
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: San Jose and like hike in the Redwoods every weekend

671
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 1: in California. Do whatever you and your work enables you

672
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 1: to do. I'm assuming if you're moving you can either

673
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,319
Speaker 1: work remote or there's a plan. So if you have

674
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:42,879
Speaker 1: the good fortune in terms of geography to be able

675
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 1: to move around, go explore and to your point, see

676
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 1: what place offers you the hikes that you want. See

677
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 1: what place you feel him in your ear when you're

678
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 1: out walking in the morning. See what place you meet

679
00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,879
Speaker 1: people who feel like the kind of people you want

680
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 1: to break bread with at the coffee shop. You're in

681
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 1: a moment of depth. Not everyone you meet is going

682
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 1: to meet you in that kind of depth, but when

683
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 1: they do, you're going to be able to go, all right,

684
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:12,839
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get out of my short term thing here

685
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna look for an apartment that I'm going

686
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,240
Speaker 1: to sign like a year lease on and that's probably

687
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 1: gonna feel amazing. Yeah, but you have to experience it

688
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 1: before you know where it is. You have a good

689
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 1: community where you are. I have joined a word a

690
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: group since he died, and I call them my widows.

691
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,839
Speaker 1: They don't fuck around. They listen to me. I'm telling

692
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 1: you right now, like they are sixty five and they

693
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 1: get down and they tell me all about it. I'm like, okay, okay,

694
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 1: Like they are perful and I'm a comic here. I

695
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:46,400
Speaker 1: have a great The community, the comedy community in Raleigh,

696
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 1: North Carolina, is it's very strong. It's a very strong community. Yeah,

697
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're pretty good with your own intuition

698
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 1: as well. First of all, comedy is the best doing

699
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 1: stand up is like the best outlet possible for you,

700
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 1: you know, in this moment especially and during this time.

701
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: So if there's no rush for you to leave, like

702
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 1: it sounds like you are attuned and in tuned with

703
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 1: yourself and with like what is right for you. So

704
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: I wouldn't put your pressure on it to make the decision.

705
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna you have a pretty good grip

706
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: on what's what is right for you, and then you're

707
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 1: going to handle that with a plum. I would just

708
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,799
Speaker 1: trust yourself a little bit, like you you're gonna know

709
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: when it's time to go. You're in a good space.

710
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 1: You seem like you're you've got a total handle on

711
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 1: the situation and you're handling everything in the right amount

712
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,839
Speaker 1: of time. So I think you're coming into what you're

713
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 1: going to be doing permanently through this grief, and the

714
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 1: only way out is through. That's correct. There's no way

715
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 1: to jump to the end. So to Chelsea's point, you

716
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:48,959
Speaker 1: are making something. You can't rush it. You're the experience

717
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 1: and you're gonna You're gonna get to the end of

718
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:55,280
Speaker 1: that road, to the last page of that book only

719
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: when you write all the pages of the book that

720
00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:01,320
Speaker 1: come before it. It allows me to not suppress the grief.

721
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 1: It allows me when I get anxious, I know I

722
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 1: need to cry. And that's a very strong woman. It's

723
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 1: hard for me to ask help, so it's hard for

724
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 1: me to let myself feel the feelings I need to feel.

725
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 1: So when I feel anxious, I'm like, just cry, just cry,

726
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 1: just let it out. And I start writing. And I

727
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 1: know it's unique to be my agent to be a widow.

728
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,480
Speaker 1: And he was really young too, and I know if

729
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:24,919
Speaker 1: I didn't do something with that, I would be doing

730
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:28,279
Speaker 1: a dishonor to him. So we'll keep us posted and

731
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: let us know what you do, decide where you end

732
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 1: up going, and you know all that good stuff. Yeah, yeah,

733
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,280
Speaker 1: all right, you guys taking here all right, We're rooting

734
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:41,279
Speaker 1: for you. Thanks Kristen, thank you. Bye. All right, Well,

735
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 1: this question is from Sarah. Sarah says, Dear Chelsea, what's

736
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: considered a sugar daddy and why are there's so many

737
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,719
Speaker 1: opinions about it. I'm Sarah, thirty two years old, and

738
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 1: according to my friends, I have one of these so

739
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 1: called sugar daddies. To give a little background, I was

740
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 1: raised with my three siblings by or loving single mother.

741
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: My father was a deadbeat, so I have the typical

742
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 1: daddy issues people associate with that. When I was twenty

743
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: in a Florida college, I met an older man the

744
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 1: age of my father at my apartment complex. We became

745
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 1: fast friends in a short amount of time and started

746
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,840
Speaker 1: going to lunch and dinners together. He always paid, and

747
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: he started taking me shopping and paying for my car,

748
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: oil changes, etc. When I moved across the country, he

749
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 1: gifted me five thousand dollars to help me get started.

750
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: We talk or text daily or at least every few days,

751
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 1: and he's been such a great friend with consoling me

752
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,880
Speaker 1: when I had a few breakups and actually when my

753
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:39,240
Speaker 1: father passed. He was so easy and supportive to talk to. Anyway,

754
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: I feel I made a mistake telling my friend of

755
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 1: two years about my relationship with this older man. She

756
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,720
Speaker 1: brings it up in front of others at social events

757
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 1: and seems to want to make fun of me, laughing

758
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 1: and saying I have a sugar daddy. She repeatedly tells

759
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 1: me how she's baffled that my husband is okay with this.

760
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,440
Speaker 1: It's embarrassing to me the way she makes it seem

761
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 1: like I'm having sex with the man, insinuating that I'm

762
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 1: doing anything inappropriate. He's more of a father figure to

763
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 1: me than I've ever had. I have two children and

764
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: they call him pop pop. He always remembers our birthdays

765
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:12,280
Speaker 1: and sends a card. I'm so frustrated with my friend

766
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 1: and have explained to her that he's like my father

767
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 1: as her father is to her. Should I confront her?

768
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 1: And what could I possibly say to her now? When

769
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,720
Speaker 1: it's just me and her. She's sweetest pie. Around others,

770
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:25,400
Speaker 1: she takes on this bully persona, always saying that I

771
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 1: should have my sugar daddy pay for our dinner and

772
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 1: drinks and letting everyone know about my situation. To me,

773
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,880
Speaker 1: he has no wife or children. He's wealthy and I'm not.

774
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 1: It's very kind, all the help he's given me over

775
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 1: the twelve years we've been close. I'm proud to have

776
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: a real friendship with someone that is not a likely bestie,

777
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 1: being that he's sixty and I'm about half his age.

778
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: Thank you and take care, Sarah. Well, that's confusing, but

779
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 1: they're not sleeping together, I know. But it's so confusing

780
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,479
Speaker 1: because you're taking money from a stranger, like I find

781
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:59,400
Speaker 1: that to be. I don't know how I feel about that. Honestly,

782
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: I think it lovely. This man's probably very lonely, and

783
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 1: he is attached to this gal and her kids and

784
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 1: doesn't seem to be a creepy situation. I mean, first

785
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 1: of all, you should definitely talked to your friend to

786
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 1: sufferinging it up because that you didn't tell her for

787
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 1: her to be making fun of you, and you're not

788
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 1: in a sexual relationship, right, so you need to tell her. Yeah,

789
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,120
Speaker 1: I guess you know. I say that, yet I've given

790
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 1: money to strangers and they've taken it, but that's not

791
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 1: I feel like it's different coming from a man. Yet

792
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:30,720
Speaker 1: I also understand that this man is probably like seeking

793
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,240
Speaker 1: out a relationship with her as a daughter figure too.

794
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:35,480
Speaker 1: It sounds like as long as he's not ever tried

795
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 1: to hit on you, which would be completely unacceptable. So

796
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,399
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm conflicted. That doesn't sound like there's

797
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 1: anything untoward happening, but also, yeah, it's like something to

798
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 1: think about. So you know what's interesting is I realized

799
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 1: as you got through the letter that this is a

800
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 1: ten year relationship, yeah, friendship. And when she said you

801
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 1: know that it's not a sexual relationship, I went, oh, same,

802
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 1: Because I had a friend who was twenty one who

803
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:04,840
Speaker 1: had a fifty year old neighbor who was trying to

804
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 1: take her out and buy her stuff. I'd be like,

805
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 1: don't you fall down that rabbit hole? Right. However, ten

806
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 1: years in, to your point, it really does sound like

807
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 1: a very paternal relationship. And like you said, Chelsea, if

808
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 1: he's never hit on her, he's never made her uncomfortable.

809
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 1: He knows her husband, he knows her children. You know

810
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 1: what it makes me think of is we have this

811
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 1: lovely neighbor. I mean, well, a neighbor I grew up

812
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 1: with at my parents' house. Our sweet neighbor, Charlie is

813
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 1: an elderly man in our neighborhood who doesn't have a family.

814
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 1: He is like the Pasadena historian. He knows everything about

815
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,399
Speaker 1: everything in nature. He can tell you the Latin name

816
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: of any tree. He is just the sweetest old man.

817
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:50,960
Speaker 1: And when our family moved into the neighborhood and my

818
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 1: grandpa would come visit, we'd go out on walks, and

819
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 1: my grandpa and Charlie struck up a conversation one morning,

820
00:43:56,920 --> 00:44:00,799
Speaker 1: and from that year, Charlie has spent the holidays with

821
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 1: my family. Oh I after my grandfather passed away, we

822
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 1: you know, we used to call him our bonus grandpa.

823
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:11,359
Speaker 1: And after my grandfather passed away, Charlie still spends all

824
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 1: of the holidays with my family. It's it's been twenty

825
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 1: five years now, yea. And no, you know, Charlie's not

826
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:20,919
Speaker 1: like some man of means who's like giving money away

827
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:24,280
Speaker 1: to everybody. But he's a really important person in our life,

828
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,279
Speaker 1: and we are his family, and I think that those

829
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 1: relationships are meaningful. And so I get why the dynamic

830
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 1: of this guy being financially supportive rings the alarm bells

831
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 1: of older guy taking advantage of younger woman. But he's

832
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 1: never tried to fuck hers. He seems to be seeking

833
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 1: a family, and who is this person to judge anyone

834
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,399
Speaker 1: else's family and how they make it is really where

835
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 1: I land as I go through the sort of stream

836
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:57,879
Speaker 1: of consciousness list that I'm making with you now well,

837
00:44:57,880 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 1: and it sounds like she's not even living in the

838
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,840
Speaker 1: same stage him anymore, So I mean, probably not anything

839
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 1: untoward there. My parents always talk about this concept of

840
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 1: giving with warm hands. My dad is in elder law,

841
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 1: so he helps a lot of people prepare for their

842
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 1: eventual death and where they want to leave their money.

843
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 1: But for my parents, it's always been really important to

844
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,760
Speaker 1: give with warm hands, like give while they're still alive.

845
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 1: So they give a lot to charities and they help

846
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 1: out people that they love. They've certainly helped me out,

847
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 1: And it sounds like that's kind of what he wants

848
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 1: to do. You know, he has this and he's able

849
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:31,720
Speaker 1: to do that. But I do think Chelsea's right the friend.

850
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,279
Speaker 1: Sometimes people will rib you about stuff and like not

851
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:37,359
Speaker 1: realize they're actually pretty offended by it. So maybe if

852
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 1: you talk to this friend. I also think there's something

853
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:44,320
Speaker 1: that means to be explored there. And I know people

854
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 1: get real touchy when their egos get pressed, but it

855
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:51,080
Speaker 1: sounds like this friend has a dynamic of jealousy and

856
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 1: if she's just with her best friend, she can love

857
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:56,760
Speaker 1: her best friend. But when she sees the way people

858
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 1: react to her best friend, she needs to get competitive.

859
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 1: And it really sounds like this woman. I don't think

860
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 1: she's doing it to be mean. Maybe she's not conscious

861
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:08,919
Speaker 1: she's doing it, but it really sounds like she has

862
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 1: some self inquired to do to figure out why she

863
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 1: needs to neg her friend in front of other people.

864
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 1: Why is she trying to knock her down a notch

865
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 1: in front of others? Like, you need friends who want

866
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 1: to lift you up and who want to push you

867
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,240
Speaker 1: in front of them when an opportunity comes around, and

868
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 1: I think you might be well off to ask your friend,

869
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 1: why do you want to make me small in front

870
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,839
Speaker 1: of other people? It's really hurtful. Yeah, yeah, definitely you

871
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 1: to confront that issue. And we've decided that the other

872
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:44,320
Speaker 1: relationship is okay, said, we talked through it. Yes, Sarah,

873
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 1: let us know how it goes with your friend, and

874
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:48,839
Speaker 1: we wish you the best of luck. But let's take

875
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 1: a quick break and we'll be right back. Okay, and

876
00:46:56,200 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 1: we're back. Hello, Well, Sophia, Is there any advice you'd

877
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:07,399
Speaker 1: like to ask of Chelsea? Oh Man, Yeah, I'm really

878
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 1: curious about something because I'm in this process right now,

879
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 1: and when you work on projects and you get to

880
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:18,360
Speaker 1: travel and you work with all these crews. For me, anyway,

881
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 1: it has resulted in some really outsized nostalgia. And I'm

882
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:26,840
Speaker 1: really curious because you do a similar thing. How do

883
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:33,799
Speaker 1: you decide what nostalgic memory items, trinkets, chatskes you keep

884
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 1: and what goes so that your house doesn't get cluttered

885
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 1: because your house is very organized, and I feel a

886
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:43,239
Speaker 1: little bit like I live in somebody's grandma's house, like

887
00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:46,360
Speaker 1: there's just shit everywhere. Oh yeah, No, you can't be

888
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 1: a hoarder. No, well, I have a hoarder tendency and

889
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do about it. I know,

890
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:54,840
Speaker 1: but memorabilia of our own little trinkets or reminders are fine.

891
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:57,960
Speaker 1: I'm not really a sentimental person, so all of my stuff,

892
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 1: I don't know who saves my stuff quite frankly, I

893
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:04,239
Speaker 1: mean probably my relatives or my assistants or something like.

894
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 1: I don't have a thing about Like I opened my

895
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:08,640
Speaker 1: cabinet the other day and there was like eighty five

896
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:10,839
Speaker 1: thousand books of ours. I'm like, why are we keeping these?

897
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:13,399
Speaker 1: I don't need my own books. Let's bring them on tour,

898
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 1: sell them, like, get rid of them, give them some

899
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 1: charity whatever. I have the opposite mentality, because I just

900
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 1: feel like everything's being recorded anyway. Who cares? It's not say, yeah,

901
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,360
Speaker 1: all of the things you've done are like there forever

902
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 1: and ever and ever and ever. So why are we

903
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 1: Pictures are the most important thing to me. That's all

904
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 1: I care about our pictures. Yeah, I have a lot

905
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 1: of pictures. I frame letters, but I'm one of those

906
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 1: people who keeps every ticket stuff by from every concert

907
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 1: of them. Oh yeah, no, no, no notable book. And

908
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 1: I'm like, I think I'm running out of bloom. I

909
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 1: don't know where to put things anymore. I know, I

910
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: know it's good just to make as like photocopies of

911
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 1: all of it, because what are you really ever going

912
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,160
Speaker 1: to do look through your tickets? I mean, who are

913
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:01,799
Speaker 1: you saving them for? Like your grandchildren? I don't know.

914
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 1: So yeah, I would say less is more, Sophia, I

915
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:08,240
Speaker 1: would say, get rid of a lot of things. Memories

916
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 1: you just need, you just need the pictures of the memories.

917
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 1: You just need a picture of you at the concert.

918
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:14,359
Speaker 1: I mean, another reason that I don't have to save

919
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 1: anything is because I'm not having any children, so I'm

920
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 1: not having any grandchildren. So it's up to my nieces

921
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 1: and nephews to preserve my legacy. Whatso gone. That'll be

922
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: a nice challenge for them, send them the box of books. Yeah,

923
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 1: thank you Sophia for being on today. I love you

924
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,360
Speaker 1: so much and I'm so happy we got to connect.

925
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 1: I know too, we go connected person when I'm when

926
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 1: I'm back in LA for sure, I'll hit you up.

927
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: Otherwise I'm going to mail myself to Whistler soon. Well

928
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:44,800
Speaker 1: you can come here too. Everyone's invited to pass through. Okay, okay,

929
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:50,279
Speaker 1: thank you, Thank Sophia. You. I'm so nice to see Catherine. Likewise,

930
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 1: bye bye, and don't forget everybody. My new special Revolution

931
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 1: is now streaming on Netflix and it's badass. And then

932
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 1: I'm doing a tour a little big bit store. You

933
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 1: can go to Chelsea Panelo dot com for tickets. I've

934
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:04,920
Speaker 1: added some new dates. I added a date in Monticello,

935
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:08,719
Speaker 1: New York. I'm coming to Colorado to Red Rocks Amphitheater.

936
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 1: I'm coming to Kalamazoo, and then I'm coming to a

937
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:15,439
Speaker 1: bunch of places in Tennessee, Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga. That's

938
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 1: May nineteenth, twentieth, and twenty first. And then I'll be

939
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,759
Speaker 1: in Atlantic City June tenth, which is almost still doubt

940
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 1: so get your tickets. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea,

941
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 1: just send us an email at Dear Chelsea podcast at

942
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:31,880
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio,

943
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:36,240
Speaker 1: produced by Catherine Law and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.