Speaker 1: Speaks to the planet.
Speaker 2: I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and
Speaker 2: guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the
Speaker 2: third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming
Speaker 2: back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman
Speaker 2: Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions,
Speaker 2: Mandy B and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and
Speaker 2: B Money Podcast with taking Jay Valentine. You got the
Speaker 2: Woman of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got
Speaker 2: Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with
Speaker 2: her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast with
Speaker 2: more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.
Speaker 2: We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses
Speaker 2: plus the food truck court to keep you fed while
Speaker 2: you visit us. All right, listen, you.
Speaker 1: Don't want to miss this.
Speaker 2: Tap in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect
Speaker 2: dot Com Flash Podcast Festival.
Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 3: And you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
Speaker 3: a terrible throuffle, guess what you've got, Decisions.
Speaker 1: It's another huff Day.
Speaker 3: It's another You've Got Decisions, and the decision you need
Speaker 3: to make is to purchase pre order our book, No
Speaker 3: Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration.
Speaker 1: Sorry, y'all, Matt spit in my mouth and power. I'm
Speaker 1: going to say that again.
Speaker 3: No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto on sexual exploration and
Speaker 3: power with myself, Mandy v Weezy, and our co author.
Speaker 1: We canna say co author.
Speaker 3: Right, there's just you know, our writer tempest X, who's
Speaker 3: here for this very special edition of You've Got Decisions
Speaker 3: to talk about the book and writing process.
Speaker 4: I want to say, it's not a decision you don't
Speaker 4: need to don't just buy it.
Speaker 3: No, it's it's the decision you need to make to
Speaker 3: buy it. Like that's a decision you make. Now buy
Speaker 3: it now, get it wherever you can get books. Please
Speaker 3: support us because of course, we are trying to make
Speaker 3: the New York Times bestseller list and we cannot do
Speaker 3: that first and foremost without the Whorehive. So definitely go
Speaker 3: ahead and get your books. It is in the description
Speaker 3: of this episode.
Speaker 1: And probably everywhere else Instagram.
Speaker 3: Patreon, all the things, everywhere all the things.
Speaker 4: Okay, so let's start. I want to ask you a
Speaker 4: couple of questions. Okay, the process.
Speaker 5: Yes, So let's start with have you always wanted to
Speaker 5: write a book?
Speaker 1: So I wrote a book before?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 3: In twenty thirteen? I actually was like, let me pull
Speaker 3: it up so I can show you. It was called
Speaker 3: up on Game. I Love it up on Game by
Speaker 3: bandy Bee. Literally self written, self published, self edited, So
Speaker 3: it probably sounds a fucking mess.
Speaker 1: This was twenty thirteen, so I was twenty two years old.
Speaker 5: So then you really have a perspective on how different
Speaker 5: it is.
Speaker 3: Oh that way, girl, I was an executive assistant at
Speaker 3: an ad firm, so I literally wrote it while I
Speaker 3: was at work, Like I would just be on my desk,
Speaker 3: be at my desk writing. I am in fear of
Speaker 3: going back to read it now. But yeah, I literally,
Speaker 3: uh went on fiver and had someone turn it into
Speaker 3: what it needed to be for a ebook and literally
Speaker 3: uploaded it to Amazon.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I self sold it, like in all the things,
Speaker 3: I think when it first dropped it was like, I
Speaker 3: don't know, nine ninety nine. Then I dropped it to
Speaker 3: four ninety nine. But I remember a big deal I
Speaker 3: made like eight thousand dollars and for me it's twenty
Speaker 3: two years old. But sold it to like Twitter and
Speaker 3: all the things. It was great, but never wanted to return.
Speaker 3: I thought it was difficult, it was hard, and basically
Speaker 3: it was a.
Speaker 1: Gammolation.
Speaker 3: I don't know when you put all the amalgamation amalgamation
Speaker 3: of stories with me and my friends with athletes, yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean there was no names shared, but there was
Speaker 3: enough detail where actually you could figure out.
Speaker 1: Which person it was, so it made the bogs.
Speaker 3: At the time, I had a blog, I had full
Speaker 3: Core Pumps, so it's literally full Court Pumps presents up
Speaker 3: on game and it's yeah, a whole bunch of short
Speaker 3: stories on women with athletes, and of course I just
Speaker 3: got all the stories from my homegirls.
Speaker 5: So it wasn't like when we did this book with
Speaker 5: Simon and Schuster and they were.
Speaker 3: The real publisher the same I wanted to say, like
Speaker 3: when they were like, can we recognize any of the
Speaker 3: people in this book?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: No, no, So it was intentional for this not to
Speaker 3: be a book that could just be sold based off
Speaker 3: of any of our relations.
Speaker 1: With someone that may have a name or maybe fame.
Speaker 3: I think what's great about even what we built as
Speaker 3: a brand is that we didn't come out as celebrities.
Speaker 3: We navigated the podcast space as just being ourselves and
Speaker 3: we've never had to lean into a shock factor of
Speaker 3: who we were dealing with, and I didn't want to
Speaker 3: do that for this book.
Speaker 1: Also, night and Day, Night and Day.
Speaker 3: This is a book wholly on I would say, my growth,
Speaker 3: my journey, my stories. This was just a retelling of
Speaker 3: other people's stories.
Speaker 1: That was just like I want to write a book,
Speaker 1: mind you.
Speaker 3: After this process of writing it with you, I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm ready to write another book.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: So I loved this process writing it with you, being
Speaker 3: more intentional yes, and diving into the ship that I
Speaker 3: really think would leave a very good mark on what
Speaker 3: my what I believe my legacy to be.
Speaker 4: I think I think the thing for me about working
Speaker 4: on this book with you that was so interesting was the.
Speaker 5: Amount of growth that you've had.
Speaker 4: Yeah, from the beginning of us even conceptualizing what the
Speaker 4: book would be to what the book actually is, and
Speaker 4: how much you have matured and grown and learned to
Speaker 4: love yourself as a woman. H has been one of
Speaker 4: the most beautiful experiences I've.
Speaker 3: Ever had I'm like, I'm I'm like loving this person
Speaker 3: that I've become. Yes, but also I think what also
Speaker 3: took this book so long.
Speaker 1: And Weezy's leaned into it.
Speaker 3: She wanted this book to be sex sex sex, Yes,
Speaker 3: I said, bitch, I'm not.
Speaker 1: Writing in erotica.
Speaker 3: Lead that to saying leave it to sister Solgia. Yes,
Speaker 3: I didn't want my name and still don't. I think,
Speaker 3: even with the rebrand, I don't want all of what
Speaker 3: I have to offer to.
Speaker 1: The world just being my sex. Yeah, it's not just that.
Speaker 3: And what I've had to like really navigate in therapy
Speaker 3: over the last four years and what my relationships have
Speaker 3: looked like over the last decade have so much nuance
Speaker 3: to it that I literally, y'all don't even know we
Speaker 3: sat on this book. Charlamagne came to us in twenty
Speaker 3: twenty one about the book. We couldn't agree what the
Speaker 3: book wanted to be. I said, I'm putting therapy in
Speaker 3: the shame that I have. There's a lot of shame.
Speaker 3: If y'all go listen back to episode one, April of
Speaker 3: twenty seventeen to now, I cringe at some of the
Speaker 3: stories I shared at some of the disrespect I allowed it,
Speaker 3: some of the relationships that were so empty that I
Speaker 3: literally put on a pedestal because and y'all, I've heard
Speaker 3: me use this analogy before. I literally at one point
Speaker 3: thought I was only good enough for the bare minimum. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I was only good enough to accept crumbs. I wasn't
Speaker 3: good enough to be selected, or to be chosen, or
Speaker 3: to be someone's number one. I was fine with sharing.
Speaker 3: I didn't want the responsibility because I didn't feel capable
Speaker 3: of being able to be that person for someone.
Speaker 4: I think the fact that you go through the psychological
Speaker 4: aspect of that, oh, in this book, in this book
Speaker 4: of thinking that it was fine to be a side chick,
Speaker 4: and why that has changed and why you know you
Speaker 4: deserve so much more? Yeah, even just that chapter alone, Yeah,
Speaker 4: so much fun to work on with.
Speaker 1: Oh, y'all, don't call me a hypocrite.
Speaker 3: I want y'all to know now if y'all believe that
Speaker 3: I am just the one did mentional raspeed voice aggressive,
Speaker 3: whole ass bitch that have you sitting here on the
Speaker 3: podcast when you when you read this book, you'll get
Speaker 3: to see a lot of elements of my childhood, my upbringing.
Speaker 3: Why I think the way I do and why my
Speaker 3: mind has changed. I told y'all the person I am
Speaker 3: right now when you listen to this podcast, it ain't
Speaker 3: the same bitch. Okay, I change every day. But no,
Speaker 3: I think that was important for me to show in
Speaker 3: this book. Yes, to include what my mindset was before
Speaker 3: before yep, and bring you to the journey of why
Speaker 3: it's not that anymore, and to be able to admit that.
Speaker 1: I was insecure.
Speaker 3: Yes, there's so many moments of the book where I'm like, yes,
Speaker 3: I was an insecure as bitch. I thought I was fat,
Speaker 3: thought these niggas like I literally admit to needing validation
Speaker 3: from men because I was so insecure. You're very open
Speaker 3: with how I felt myself.
Speaker 5: It was all about you and you not loving you.
Speaker 3: Yet that's what the So that's the journey that I
Speaker 3: got while writing this book. Yes, it's literally a mirror
Speaker 3: of me going from genuinely not being as confident or
Speaker 3: not being happy with who I am, to reaching a
Speaker 3: part of my life where it's like, damn, bitch, you
Speaker 3: did that, and you are so dope.
Speaker 1: You are so great, you.
Speaker 3: Look bomb, you could pay your own bills, and you
Speaker 3: literally are living.
Speaker 1: A way in which you never thought you could before.
Speaker 3: Like literally I start off in my introduction talking about
Speaker 3: how I used to want to be one of the
Speaker 3: girls in the Big Pimpin video. Yes, and now I'm
Speaker 3: friends with these niggas, Like I'm literally friends with the
Speaker 3: people that I grew up watching, and like I have
Speaker 3: the money to go to the South of France, and
Speaker 3: like Saint Trope is one of my favorite songs about
Speaker 3: Jay Cole, I could be like.
Speaker 1: And I was there, Like if y'all go to my
Speaker 1: st Tropey post, it's that. And so this.
Speaker 3: Book narrates an insecure, broken woman trying to find herself
Speaker 3: and stepping into her power, which is how we end
Speaker 3: the book.
Speaker 5: That's exactly the journey that we go on.
Speaker 4: And it was really I don't get to do that
Speaker 4: in real time with a lot of people, so being
Speaker 4: able to do that with you was absolutely Yeah.
Speaker 1: So we did pay you. So we I double paid
Speaker 1: for therapy, y'all.
Speaker 3: Over the last two years of writing this book, there's
Speaker 3: tempests that got paid and my therapist, which I really
Speaker 3: so of course got permission, ended up recording and tempests
Speaker 3: actually through certain chapters got to hear me work.
Speaker 1: Through things with my therapist.
Speaker 3: Yes, so she got to hear me break down and
Speaker 3: literally find clarity in my childhood trauma, in my sexual
Speaker 3: assault traumas in my relationship.
Speaker 1: Yes. And I was like, Okay, you're here, go my
Speaker 1: therapy says, I mean enjoy.
Speaker 5: That was such I mean, I don't, norm I don't.
Speaker 5: I've never gotten that before. But like, that was just
Speaker 5: such a gift.
Speaker 4: And the fact that you trusted me enough to listen
Speaker 4: to those sessions and then to be able to work
Speaker 4: through those things together and put them in this book
Speaker 4: was amazing to me.
Speaker 3: I don't think this book comes out at all if
Speaker 3: we weren't able to make it prescriptive. Yes, Like, to me,
Speaker 3: this is this book is the type of book I
Speaker 3: wanted to write. Yes, And I'm glad that Weezy agreed
Speaker 3: to come on this journey.
Speaker 1: We still both have sex in it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not the sex and the jokes that
Speaker 3: you get from the pod. You'll get some of the narratives,
Speaker 3: but again, the way we retell them is completely different.
Speaker 1: It is different. And I am just like, I'm really glad.
Speaker 1: I'm proud of this book. I am too.
Speaker 3: It's what I would have wanted to write if horrible
Speaker 3: decisions decisions, decisions had.
Speaker 1: To be on paper.
Speaker 5: Okay, so can you tell us why is this book relevant.
Speaker 1: Now to you?
Speaker 3: First off, they've taken away our rights, I think with
Speaker 3: and I think also it includes that historical element. So
Speaker 3: for me, it was important for me to add so
Speaker 3: many elements of pop culture and and today in the book.
Speaker 3: So I literally discussed the reversal of Roe v. Wade
Speaker 3: in my abortion chapter. Again I mentioned the Big Pimp
Speaker 3: and video to express what that time looked like. In
Speaker 3: my I have another chapter where I blame Boosy, Destiny's
Speaker 3: child and Neo for wanting to be an independent woman
Speaker 3: and why I felt pride in being that like and
Speaker 3: mind y'all funny note backside, the editors did not know
Speaker 3: this fucking reference, and they tried to cut it out,
Speaker 3: and I said, let me put the new aim of
Speaker 3: the songs in here so that you understand. But this
Speaker 3: is a part of my upbringing, like at a very
Speaker 3: pivotal age. Yes, twenty two thousand and eight, two thousand
Speaker 3: and nine is when those songs dropped.
Speaker 1: I'm eighteen, I'm about to leave my nest and all
Speaker 1: the latest wind dependent.
Speaker 3: So yeah, and if I indeed e pete, like I
Speaker 3: can sing those songs, that's what was being fed to me,
Speaker 3: that I had to go and have multiple jobs, that
Speaker 3: I shouldn't have to ask command for anything. And I
Speaker 3: think it literally impacted my view on how I had
Speaker 3: to show up, how a man had to show up,
Speaker 3: or if you did, like it was just my relationship
Speaker 3: to love. Relationships and money was fucking skewed, of course,
Speaker 3: and so those elements of.
Speaker 1: Pop culture had to be in there for me.
Speaker 5: I had to be there.
Speaker 3: But so if you're a millennial, even if you're a
Speaker 3: little older than me, even if you're a little younger
Speaker 3: than me, this book allows you to see how generationally
Speaker 3: you're impacted by what you're being fed.
Speaker 4: Were you shocked by the fact that we had so
Speaker 4: many notes that would come back to us?
Speaker 1: Okay, that's the end of question. I can't. I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't remember if it made it in because I
Speaker 1: know we just did edits again.
Speaker 3: Were we able to keep all of the narrations with
Speaker 3: the Disney princesses.
Speaker 5: I don't think that we.
Speaker 1: I think maybe that was all that.
Speaker 3: So that was another element, right, Like I went through
Speaker 3: this I went through like wanting to include out we're
Speaker 3: like even growing up watching Disney movies, there's a savior
Speaker 3: complex that a man will always be the one to
Speaker 3: come and save you and come and get you, or
Speaker 3: you're willing to fucking give your voice away just to
Speaker 3: be with a nigga and get legs, Like what the
Speaker 3: fuck everything is for these men's And yeah, I think
Speaker 3: that those narratives being given to me and fed to
Speaker 3: me early on is why this is important. But kind
Speaker 3: of like what Weezy said as well, like us leaning
Speaker 3: into non monogamy so much and me expressing why I
Speaker 3: don't want to be a mother, and the pressures that
Speaker 3: society gives you to literally your value is placed on
Speaker 3: your womb, Like I feel like it's great to have
Speaker 3: me share and weasy share our non traditional scope of life. Yes,
Speaker 3: because you're going to get that in this book. And
Speaker 3: I think that that's what right now we're in the
Speaker 3: ethical nominogamy women either sharing their you know, fertility battles
Speaker 3: and journeys, maybe.
Speaker 1: Not being able to have a kid.
Speaker 3: Like to me, it's literally inappropriate now to ask a
Speaker 3: woman why she doesn't have kids, because we're able to
Speaker 3: share the struggle that so many women have with infertility. Yes,
Speaker 3: and so I love that we're stepping away from that
Speaker 3: while also the government is trying to take our rights away.
Speaker 5: So while the government is trying to force.
Speaker 3: Us well literally literally it's so that's why this book
Speaker 3: is revelent now relevant.
Speaker 1: God damn it, God damn it.
Speaker 6: It's relevant, it's revelant, it's revelatory, it's all the things.
Speaker 5: Okay, so don't worry about.
Speaker 1: It, God damn it. This is why we needed a writer, y'all.
Speaker 1: I would have got words, y'all. Would have been reading.
Speaker 6: Ship like, now, what can I say something that did
Speaker 6: happen in this book? Sometimes I would read words and
Speaker 6: be like is this wor what? And I'd be like,
Speaker 6: I think that they mean this. I'm gonna put that
Speaker 6: in there and hope that I'm not right.
Speaker 1: I go hold you.
Speaker 3: There was so many like she was like, yeah, so
Speaker 3: I think we want to use this word.
Speaker 5: I'm pretty sure this for sure?
Speaker 1: You mean this. I don't think this word exists. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the.
Speaker 5: Word that did happen quite a bit.
Speaker 1: More of education system. What do you want from me?
Speaker 5: Okay, I'm reading Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1: I didn't have no and now I just talk for
Speaker 1: a living. Y'all know. Every week, y'all gonna get made
Speaker 1: up words for me. Nothing that good.
Speaker 5: Sorry reading no offense, but okay.
Speaker 4: So the next question I wanted to ask you was
Speaker 4: what was the most unexpected thing about the process of
Speaker 4: writing this book?
Speaker 3: First off, the fact that our proposal is nothing like
Speaker 3: the ending book.
Speaker 5: Nothing.
Speaker 3: So when we started the book process, I was still
Speaker 3: in love in the most toxic way with my ex
Speaker 3: and Weezy was newly single, having a fucking blast.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 3: And during the year or so of writing this book,
Speaker 3: I became single and literally dealing with my first heartbreak.
Speaker 5: I was no, literally, you guys got the publishing deal.
Speaker 1: We got the publishing deal, and Weezy got an relation.
Speaker 4: And you had to tell me you're like I said,
Speaker 4: I hate like I don't know if you know, but
Speaker 4: I don't have a man anymore.
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, well that changes.
Speaker 3: That changes because I think we had decided to end
Speaker 3: this proposal with and now I finally found love.
Speaker 4: I'm in love and I'm happy and I'm floating through
Speaker 4: the air with happiness.
Speaker 1: Like I went through all this shit and now I
Speaker 1: got my person.
Speaker 3: Bitch, we got the deal, the proposal gets approved, and
Speaker 3: I got to go to her like, hey, yes, so I.
Speaker 1: Know, we like wrote what these chapters will look like, Hey, bitch, they.
Speaker 5: Change it, and how we're ending on a happy note,
Speaker 5: but we're not.
Speaker 1: We're not like I literally is.
Speaker 5: Happy, though it is happiest note.
Speaker 3: So it ended up being happy because so during the process, y'all,
Speaker 3: I'm healing and I know y'all got sick of hearing
Speaker 3: this nigga. So I found it difficult for any chapter
Speaker 3: that I thought he would be in.
Speaker 1: I literally couldn't write because I was so angry.
Speaker 3: I was so angry that I was like, bitch, how
Speaker 3: am I supposed to write that I'm happy in this
Speaker 3: moment with a nigga that I know betrayed me, that
Speaker 3: hurt me.
Speaker 1: And I'm literally like, hey, we gonna lead them chapters
Speaker 1: put in.
Speaker 3: So I think there were like three or four chapters
Speaker 3: that were literally all about him and what we'd experienced
Speaker 3: during our relationship.
Speaker 1: And as we started writing, there started come coming.
Speaker 3: Epiphanies and other things. I was like, cut that chapter
Speaker 3: out of that nigga. We could cut that one too.
Speaker 1: Chapter is him.
Speaker 3: They're the old chapter that was supposed to be about
Speaker 3: him in the dungeon, and it wasn't at all about you.
Speaker 1: It's about me, And.
Speaker 3: So I was really glad that therapy was present because
Speaker 3: I was so angry with how that relationship ended that
Speaker 3: I had a block up on how to present him
Speaker 3: as a good, loving person, which was needed, which was
Speaker 3: needed for what the themes would be of those chapters. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and so through the process we got away from that motherfucker.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think that that during the process, I
Speaker 3: was surprised at how much you don't realize your life
Speaker 3: literally changes by the week.
Speaker 1: Yes, so from friends.
Speaker 3: That are no longer around, business partners that are no
Speaker 3: longer around, your mental health that fucking goes up and
Speaker 3: down like a mother fucker. I went from writing her
Speaker 3: and her coming to my apartment to her knowing that
Speaker 3: these were my last couple of weeks in this apartment
Speaker 3: because I was relocated to another state, and so the
Speaker 3: process of really being able to be like, damn bitch,
Speaker 3: a lot of happened in a year.
Speaker 1: This year is luck it happened in a year. Yeah.
Speaker 5: So yeah, then the next question is what is your
Speaker 5: favorite chapter?
Speaker 3: My favorite chapter that I wrote, I would say, is.
Speaker 1: My abortion chapter.
Speaker 5: It's really good.
Speaker 1: My abortion chapter. You didn't have very many edits. The
Speaker 1: editor didn't have very many at it.
Speaker 3: No, it's just so I did all of my own
Speaker 3: research and plugged in the stats.
Speaker 1: That I wanted again, the Roe v.
Speaker 3: Wade reference, being able to include my mom's feelings, being
Speaker 3: able to include Kita's feelings, being able to go back
Speaker 3: to that day.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 3: I was proud that I I fucking wrote that chapter.
Speaker 3: Like I wrote the hell out of that chapter. That
Speaker 3: was my favorite chapter to write. I was really good,
Speaker 3: and I do like that. The chapters that I think
Speaker 3: got better with edits would be the Unicorn chapter because
Speaker 3: I think they tried to get rid of it because
Speaker 3: it seemed like it was the same thing, and I
Speaker 3: was like, no, the fucking ain't. So I just had
Speaker 3: to do it through a different lens.
Speaker 5: Which was it made it better.
Speaker 4: Like that's the thing that I think a lot of
Speaker 4: people don't know, like you go through so many edits
Speaker 4: in a book, because it keeps getting better and better
Speaker 4: and better the more you work on it.
Speaker 3: I do want to share with y'all BTS moment of
Speaker 3: transparency because I thought I had a fucking genius idea
Speaker 3: and it ended up being the fucking death of us.
Speaker 1: What was it? So, y'all?
Speaker 3: Within this book again, because it was important for me
Speaker 3: to tie pop culture, we do this thing where as women,
Speaker 3: the patriarch is our fucking.
Speaker 5: Uh patriarchy keep us down.
Speaker 1: The patriarchy keeps us down, and as a matriarch, we
Speaker 1: will overcome it.
Speaker 3: Yes, so my ass, before every chapter we have a
Speaker 3: patriarchal bullshitch and a matriarchal reply. Yes from celebrities and
Speaker 3: philosophers and politicians throughout history.
Speaker 1: Yes, y'all.
Speaker 3: For legal reasons, we had to cite to the tea
Speaker 3: at where the fuck this was.
Speaker 1: We couldn't use tweets because of some other shit.
Speaker 3: We had to go in and fucking at the end,
Speaker 3: we had to change so much because we had to
Speaker 3: be able to cite everything.
Speaker 5: It was painful.
Speaker 1: I was on vacation, mind you.
Speaker 3: It was so painful, and I'm like, well, bitch, we
Speaker 3: gotta do it because I want to say I want.
Speaker 1: This in the book.
Speaker 5: I was literally in my hotel room. My husband was livid.
Speaker 3: And we were looking up quotes, and mind you, quotes
Speaker 3: relate to the chapters yes, So I'm literally googling.
Speaker 1: I'm googling celebrities that don't believe women.
Speaker 3: Should have autonomy of their body, celebrities that are pro abortion, politicians.
Speaker 1: That put bills up like and I'm literally spent.
Speaker 3: I'm I'm going to spend We quote Belle Hooks, I
Speaker 3: quote Share, we quote Tracy Ellis Fross, and then we
Speaker 3: have to send them literal like transcriptions and YouTube videos
Speaker 3: and cite everywhere. These people actually said this ship, and
Speaker 3: I was like, this is work. I want to keep
Speaker 3: this ship in the book.
Speaker 1: It's so good.
Speaker 5: It ends up being so good. But it was such
Speaker 5: a pain in the.
Speaker 3: It was a pain in the ass. I ain't even
Speaker 3: gonna hold you. It was a whole pain.
Speaker 1: In the ass.
Speaker 4: And then the last question I want to ask last question,
Speaker 4: what do you think is the most surprising thing that
Speaker 4: readers will learn about you?
Speaker 1: That I have a heart. Goddamn it, it was not
Speaker 1: just a black hole there.
Speaker 3: I know you guys think that I'm you know, this
Speaker 3: this villainous bitch. No, I think it's gonna be I
Speaker 3: think I think a lot of people believe I'm stuck
Speaker 3: in my ways, and I think what's going to be
Speaker 3: amazing and incredible to read. Is how much you actually
Speaker 3: get to see my growth. I know the actual members
Speaker 3: of the whore Hive who have been tuning in, it's
Speaker 3: visible to them.
Speaker 1: Maybe not that every week listener will know or be able.
Speaker 3: To actually pick that out and how I've changed from
Speaker 3: the start of this podcast to now. But when you
Speaker 3: read the book, I think my ability to hold myself accountable,
Speaker 3: my ability to hold.
Speaker 1: Up a mirror and be like you as a raggedy bitch.
Speaker 3: My ability to know my decisions were poor and came
Speaker 3: from not knowing came from me being selectively ignorant. I
Speaker 3: think that's a really good I I'm enjoying the hell
Speaker 3: out of it, and I think for anyone that listens
Speaker 3: to that pod, you'll be able to hear just more
Speaker 3: of me, like because I do look at this the
Speaker 3: world and life as it is from like such a
Speaker 3: different goal that I think people do. I do think
Speaker 3: the government is fucking putting us in a bubble. Like
Speaker 3: I believe all those things, but I believe I have
Speaker 3: one life to live and I'm just fucking trying to
Speaker 3: figure it out. I don't think I know everything, and
Speaker 3: I think some people may think.
Speaker 1: I believe that I know everything, that I'm always right.
Speaker 3: You will read in the book that a bitch been
Speaker 3: wrong about relationships, how I've navigated things, and that I've
Speaker 3: also come in that I've also needed.
Speaker 1: To unlearn a lot.
Speaker 3: Yes, and my willingness to do so, I think has
Speaker 3: gotten me here.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm so proud of this book. I
Speaker 1: think this book.
Speaker 3: If you hate me, you don't like me after you
Speaker 3: read it, you don't love you don't love it. But yeah, no,
Speaker 3: I'm just so proud that I laid everything out on
Speaker 3: paper in a way that I'm proud of, really, in
Speaker 3: a way that I'm so proud of. And I'm so
Speaker 3: glad that you were able to like do this with us,
Speaker 3: and that you were able to have us on our
Speaker 3: separate journeys but then also make our voices come together
Speaker 3: for the bigger picture, which is that as women we
Speaker 3: are we are all on these journeys. We have to
Speaker 3: overcome the trauma. We can't we can't allow this world
Speaker 3: to make us victims and keep us hidden by our fears. Nope,
Speaker 3: that we have to overcome it with power. And that's
Speaker 3: what this book I think will do to any and
Speaker 3: everyone literally when they're like, who's the demo women from
Speaker 3: the ages of eighteen to forty five?
Speaker 1: Oh, I'll go to I ain't gonna hold you.
Speaker 3: My mama said, I'm jealous, y'all get to do these.
Speaker 3: My mama doing some of these things now. And she
Speaker 3: just reminded me she's over fifty five. So eighteen to sixty, yeah,
Speaker 3: because I don't think the font is big enough for
Speaker 3: everyone over sixty. But Kendall, you can make the worst thing,
Speaker 3: get it.
Speaker 1: We will also have an audible.
Speaker 3: Version of this as well, where we get to read it.
Speaker 3: I don't know the budget, but I just listen. I
Speaker 3: told you we'll packers.
Speaker 1: Sounds like a movie. I want. I want y'all to
Speaker 1: held it. When I say I'm.
Speaker 3: Splash, and I need you all to hear splash, like
Speaker 3: I want sound design for our audio book.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Simon the shooter is gonna do that.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Like when I say I'm getting hit from the back,
Speaker 3: I need you to hear my ask getting hit from
Speaker 3: the back. You feel me, don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know if they're gonna they're I don't know.
Speaker 1: You don't think they're gonna.
Speaker 3: Lie to I need my ask getting clapped for the
Speaker 3: audio book.
Speaker 4: I don't see I don't see the team we're working
Speaker 4: with over there, saying let's get the ass clapping going.
Speaker 3: But no, this book is literally for women of all
Speaker 3: ages and colors. Yes, like our relationships with men and
Speaker 3: women us navigating sex, it's the same. It's the same
Speaker 3: ups and downs that you have, whether you're monogamous. No,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna whether you like women, whether you like men,
Speaker 3: whether you like it from the back, whether you like.
Speaker 1: It from the front, whether you like or whether you don't.
Speaker 1: It's all this.
Speaker 4: But the most important lesson to me and this book
Speaker 4: is self love. Self love, and if you don't love yourself,
Speaker 4: no one else can love you.
Speaker 3: Which can I tell you through line? This is how
Speaker 3: this book fucking happened. First chapter of mine is self pleasure.
Speaker 3: Last book is admitting I love myself. Yeah, so literally,
Speaker 3: self love is how I navigate with pleasure and in progression.
Speaker 3: And what I learned about myself is to love myself.
Speaker 3: So it's a full journey. Then I'm still on. By
Speaker 3: the way, we don't have all the answers, and you'll
Speaker 3: see that in the book because we're not experts on life.
Speaker 3: But it's a great book and I'm so glad that
Speaker 3: we get to share it with you guys.
Speaker 1: Sas, make sure you order your book now.
Speaker 3: Pre order will help us get to our New York
Speaker 3: Times bestseller's goal, and we can't do it without you, guys,
Speaker 3: So go to any of your independent booksellers is Amazon,
Speaker 3: Barnes and Nobles, No holds barred.
Speaker 1: Make sure you cop that and thank you guys. Make
Speaker 1: sure you subscribe, follow us all the things.
Speaker 3: If you want to watch this, you can always join
Speaker 3: our Patreon Patreon dot com Backslash Horrible Decisions. It's another
Speaker 3: hunt day. You've got decisions, and the decision you gotta
Speaker 3: make is tour.
Speaker 1: By No Guard Now, thank you guys. Until next week
Speaker 1: by