1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:00,960 Speaker 1: Speaks to the planet. 2 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 2: I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and 3 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 2: guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the 4 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:08,319 Speaker 2: third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming 5 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 2: back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman 6 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 2: Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions, 7 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 2: Mandy B and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and 8 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:20,319 Speaker 2: B Money Podcast with taking Jay Valentine. You got the 9 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 2: Woman of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got 10 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,479 Speaker 2: Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with 11 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 2: her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast with 12 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 2: more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts. 13 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,160 Speaker 2: We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses 14 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 2: plus the food truck court to keep you fed while 15 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,919 Speaker 2: you visit us. All right, listen, you. 16 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,479 Speaker 1: Don't want to miss this. 17 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 2: Tap in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect 18 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 2: dot Com Flash Podcast Festival. 19 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions. 20 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,519 Speaker 3: And you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or 21 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 3: a terrible throuffle, guess what you've got, Decisions. 22 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: It's another huff Day. 23 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 3: It's another You've Got Decisions, and the decision you need 24 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 3: to make is to purchase pre order our book, No 25 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,679 Speaker 3: Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration. 26 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: Sorry, y'all, Matt spit in my mouth and power. I'm 27 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 1: going to say that again. 28 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:20,959 Speaker 3: No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto on sexual exploration and 29 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 3: power with myself, Mandy v Weezy, and our co author. 30 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 1: We canna say co author. 31 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 3: Right, there's just you know, our writer tempest X, who's 32 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:35,160 Speaker 3: here for this very special edition of You've Got Decisions 33 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 3: to talk about the book and writing process. 34 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 4: I want to say, it's not a decision you don't 35 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 4: need to don't just buy it. 36 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 3: No, it's it's the decision you need to make to 37 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 3: buy it. Like that's a decision you make. Now buy 38 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 3: it now, get it wherever you can get books. Please 39 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 3: support us because of course, we are trying to make 40 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 3: the New York Times bestseller list and we cannot do 41 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 3: that first and foremost without the Whorehive. So definitely go 42 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 3: ahead and get your books. It is in the description 43 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 3: of this episode. 44 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 1: And probably everywhere else Instagram. 45 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 3: Patreon, all the things, everywhere all the things. 46 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 4: Okay, so let's start. I want to ask you a 47 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,360 Speaker 4: couple of questions. Okay, the process. 48 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 5: Yes, So let's start with have you always wanted to 49 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 5: write a book? 50 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 1: So I wrote a book before? 51 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 2: What? 52 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 3: In twenty thirteen? I actually was like, let me pull 53 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 3: it up so I can show you. It was called 54 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 3: up on Game. I Love it up on Game by 55 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 3: bandy Bee. Literally self written, self published, self edited, So 56 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 3: it probably sounds a fucking mess. 57 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,079 Speaker 1: This was twenty thirteen, so I was twenty two years old. 58 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 5: So then you really have a perspective on how different 59 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 5: it is. 60 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,360 Speaker 3: Oh that way, girl, I was an executive assistant at 61 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 3: an ad firm, so I literally wrote it while I 62 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 3: was at work, Like I would just be on my desk, 63 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 3: be at my desk writing. I am in fear of 64 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 3: going back to read it now. But yeah, I literally, 65 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,959 Speaker 3: uh went on fiver and had someone turn it into 66 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 3: what it needed to be for a ebook and literally 67 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 3: uploaded it to Amazon. 68 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. 69 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,359 Speaker 3: So I self sold it, like in all the things, 70 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 3: I think when it first dropped it was like, I 71 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 3: don't know, nine ninety nine. Then I dropped it to 72 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 3: four ninety nine. But I remember a big deal I 73 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 3: made like eight thousand dollars and for me it's twenty 74 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 3: two years old. But sold it to like Twitter and 75 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 3: all the things. It was great, but never wanted to return. 76 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 3: I thought it was difficult, it was hard, and basically 77 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 3: it was a. 78 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: Gammolation. 79 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 3: I don't know when you put all the amalgamation amalgamation 80 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 3: of stories with me and my friends with athletes, yeah, 81 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 3: I mean there was no names shared, but there was 82 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 3: enough detail where actually you could figure out. 83 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: Which person it was, so it made the bogs. 84 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 3: At the time, I had a blog, I had full 85 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 3: Core Pumps, so it's literally full Court Pumps presents up 86 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 3: on game and it's yeah, a whole bunch of short 87 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 3: stories on women with athletes, and of course I just 88 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 3: got all the stories from my homegirls. 89 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 5: So it wasn't like when we did this book with 90 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 5: Simon and Schuster and they were. 91 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 3: The real publisher the same I wanted to say, like 92 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 3: when they were like, can we recognize any of the 93 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 3: people in this book? 94 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:21,039 Speaker 2: Yeah? 95 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 3: No, no, So it was intentional for this not to 96 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 3: be a book that could just be sold based off 97 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 3: of any of our relations. 98 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 1: With someone that may have a name or maybe fame. 99 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 3: I think what's great about even what we built as 100 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,919 Speaker 3: a brand is that we didn't come out as celebrities. 101 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 3: We navigated the podcast space as just being ourselves and 102 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 3: we've never had to lean into a shock factor of 103 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 3: who we were dealing with, and I didn't want to 104 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:52,720 Speaker 3: do that for this book. 105 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,919 Speaker 1: Also, night and Day, Night and Day. 106 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 3: This is a book wholly on I would say, my growth, 107 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 3: my journey, my stories. This was just a retelling of 108 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,719 Speaker 3: other people's stories. 109 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 1: That was just like I want to write a book, 110 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:09,159 Speaker 1: mind you. 111 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 3: After this process of writing it with you, I'm like, Okay, 112 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:12,799 Speaker 3: I'm ready to write another book. 113 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: Yes. 114 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 3: So I loved this process writing it with you, being 115 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 3: more intentional yes, and diving into the ship that I 116 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 3: really think would leave a very good mark on what 117 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,599 Speaker 3: my what I believe my legacy to be. 118 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 4: I think I think the thing for me about working 119 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 4: on this book with you that was so interesting was the. 120 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 5: Amount of growth that you've had. 121 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, from the beginning of us even conceptualizing what the 122 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 4: book would be to what the book actually is, and 123 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,919 Speaker 4: how much you have matured and grown and learned to 124 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 4: love yourself as a woman. H has been one of 125 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,039 Speaker 4: the most beautiful experiences I've. 126 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:02,040 Speaker 3: Ever had I'm like, I'm I'm like loving this person 127 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 3: that I've become. Yes, but also I think what also 128 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 3: took this book so long. 129 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 1: And Weezy's leaned into it. 130 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 3: She wanted this book to be sex sex sex, Yes, 131 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 3: I said, bitch, I'm not. 132 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:17,479 Speaker 1: Writing in erotica. 133 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,840 Speaker 3: Lead that to saying leave it to sister Solgia. Yes, 134 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 3: I didn't want my name and still don't. I think, 135 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,120 Speaker 3: even with the rebrand, I don't want all of what 136 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 3: I have to offer to. 137 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,480 Speaker 1: The world just being my sex. Yeah, it's not just that. 138 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 3: And what I've had to like really navigate in therapy 139 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 3: over the last four years and what my relationships have 140 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:42,480 Speaker 3: looked like over the last decade have so much nuance 141 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,839 Speaker 3: to it that I literally, y'all don't even know we 142 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,480 Speaker 3: sat on this book. Charlamagne came to us in twenty 143 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 3: twenty one about the book. We couldn't agree what the 144 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 3: book wanted to be. I said, I'm putting therapy in 145 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 3: the shame that I have. There's a lot of shame. 146 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 3: If y'all go listen back to episode one, April of 147 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 3: twenty seventeen to now, I cringe at some of the 148 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 3: stories I shared at some of the disrespect I allowed it, 149 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 3: some of the relationships that were so empty that I 150 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 3: literally put on a pedestal because and y'all, I've heard 151 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 3: me use this analogy before. I literally at one point 152 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 3: thought I was only good enough for the bare minimum. Yeah, 153 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 3: I was only good enough to accept crumbs. I wasn't 154 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 3: good enough to be selected, or to be chosen, or 155 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 3: to be someone's number one. I was fine with sharing. 156 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 3: I didn't want the responsibility because I didn't feel capable 157 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 3: of being able to be that person for someone. 158 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 4: I think the fact that you go through the psychological 159 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 4: aspect of that, oh, in this book, in this book 160 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 4: of thinking that it was fine to be a side chick, 161 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 4: and why that has changed and why you know you 162 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 4: deserve so much more? Yeah, even just that chapter alone, Yeah, 163 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 4: so much fun to work on with. 164 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 1: Oh, y'all, don't call me a hypocrite. 165 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 3: I want y'all to know now if y'all believe that 166 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 3: I am just the one did mentional raspeed voice aggressive, 167 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 3: whole ass bitch that have you sitting here on the 168 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 3: podcast when you when you read this book, you'll get 169 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 3: to see a lot of elements of my childhood, my upbringing. 170 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 3: Why I think the way I do and why my 171 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 3: mind has changed. I told y'all the person I am 172 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 3: right now when you listen to this podcast, it ain't 173 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 3: the same bitch. Okay, I change every day. But no, 174 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 3: I think that was important for me to show in 175 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 3: this book. Yes, to include what my mindset was before 176 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 3: before yep, and bring you to the journey of why 177 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:42,079 Speaker 3: it's not that anymore, and to be able to admit that. 178 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: I was insecure. 179 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 3: Yes, there's so many moments of the book where I'm like, yes, 180 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 3: I was an insecure as bitch. I thought I was fat, 181 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 3: thought these niggas like I literally admit to needing validation 182 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 3: from men because I was so insecure. You're very open 183 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 3: with how I felt myself. 184 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 5: It was all about you and you not loving you. 185 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 3: Yet that's what the So that's the journey that I 186 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,559 Speaker 3: got while writing this book. Yes, it's literally a mirror 187 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 3: of me going from genuinely not being as confident or 188 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 3: not being happy with who I am, to reaching a 189 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,840 Speaker 3: part of my life where it's like, damn, bitch, you 190 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,839 Speaker 3: did that, and you are so dope. 191 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 1: You are so great, you. 192 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 3: Look bomb, you could pay your own bills, and you 193 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 3: literally are living. 194 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 1: A way in which you never thought you could before. 195 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 3: Like literally I start off in my introduction talking about 196 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 3: how I used to want to be one of the 197 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,200 Speaker 3: girls in the Big Pimpin video. Yes, and now I'm 198 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,680 Speaker 3: friends with these niggas, Like I'm literally friends with the 199 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 3: people that I grew up watching, and like I have 200 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 3: the money to go to the South of France, and 201 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 3: like Saint Trope is one of my favorite songs about 202 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 3: Jay Cole, I could be like. 203 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,439 Speaker 1: And I was there, Like if y'all go to my 204 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,840 Speaker 1: st Tropey post, it's that. And so this. 205 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 3: Book narrates an insecure, broken woman trying to find herself 206 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 3: and stepping into her power, which is how we end 207 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:09,000 Speaker 3: the book. 208 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,360 Speaker 5: That's exactly the journey that we go on. 209 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 4: And it was really I don't get to do that 210 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 4: in real time with a lot of people, so being 211 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 4: able to do that with you was absolutely Yeah. 212 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: So we did pay you. So we I double paid 213 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 1: for therapy, y'all. 214 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 3: Over the last two years of writing this book, there's 215 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:29,960 Speaker 3: tempests that got paid and my therapist, which I really 216 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 3: so of course got permission, ended up recording and tempests 217 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:40,719 Speaker 3: actually through certain chapters got to hear me work. 218 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,680 Speaker 1: Through things with my therapist. 219 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 3: Yes, so she got to hear me break down and 220 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:51,199 Speaker 3: literally find clarity in my childhood trauma, in my sexual 221 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,559 Speaker 3: assault traumas in my relationship. 222 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,600 Speaker 1: Yes. And I was like, Okay, you're here, go my 223 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 1: therapy says, I mean enjoy. 224 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 5: That was such I mean, I don't, norm I don't. 225 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 5: I've never gotten that before. But like, that was just 226 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 5: such a gift. 227 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 4: And the fact that you trusted me enough to listen 228 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,840 Speaker 4: to those sessions and then to be able to work 229 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 4: through those things together and put them in this book 230 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 4: was amazing to me. 231 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 3: I don't think this book comes out at all if 232 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:24,200 Speaker 3: we weren't able to make it prescriptive. Yes, Like, to me, 233 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 3: this is this book is the type of book I 234 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,680 Speaker 3: wanted to write. Yes, And I'm glad that Weezy agreed 235 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 3: to come on this journey. 236 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: We still both have sex in it. 237 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not the sex and the jokes that 238 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 3: you get from the pod. You'll get some of the narratives, 239 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 3: but again, the way we retell them is completely different. 240 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:48,120 Speaker 1: It is different. And I am just like, I'm really glad. 241 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 1: I'm proud of this book. I am too. 242 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 3: It's what I would have wanted to write if horrible 243 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 3: decisions decisions, decisions had. 244 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:57,320 Speaker 1: To be on paper. 245 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 5: Okay, so can you tell us why is this book relevant. 246 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,640 Speaker 1: Now to you? 247 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 3: First off, they've taken away our rights, I think with 248 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 3: and I think also it includes that historical element. So 249 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 3: for me, it was important for me to add so 250 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 3: many elements of pop culture and and today in the book. 251 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 3: So I literally discussed the reversal of Roe v. Wade 252 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 3: in my abortion chapter. Again I mentioned the Big Pimp 253 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:40,440 Speaker 3: and video to express what that time looked like. In 254 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 3: my I have another chapter where I blame Boosy, Destiny's 255 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 3: child and Neo for wanting to be an independent woman 256 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 3: and why I felt pride in being that like and 257 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 3: mind y'all funny note backside, the editors did not know 258 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 3: this fucking reference, and they tried to cut it out, 259 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,440 Speaker 3: and I said, let me put the new aim of 260 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,040 Speaker 3: the songs in here so that you understand. But this 261 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 3: is a part of my upbringing, like at a very 262 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,439 Speaker 3: pivotal age. Yes, twenty two thousand and eight, two thousand 263 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 3: and nine is when those songs dropped. 264 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:17,079 Speaker 1: I'm eighteen, I'm about to leave my nest and all 265 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: the latest wind dependent. 266 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,440 Speaker 3: So yeah, and if I indeed e pete, like I 267 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 3: can sing those songs, that's what was being fed to me, 268 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 3: that I had to go and have multiple jobs, that 269 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 3: I shouldn't have to ask command for anything. And I 270 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:35,040 Speaker 3: think it literally impacted my view on how I had 271 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,079 Speaker 3: to show up, how a man had to show up, 272 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,280 Speaker 3: or if you did, like it was just my relationship 273 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 3: to love. Relationships and money was fucking skewed, of course, 274 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 3: and so those elements of. 275 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 1: Pop culture had to be in there for me. 276 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,120 Speaker 5: I had to be there. 277 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 3: But so if you're a millennial, even if you're a 278 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 3: little older than me, even if you're a little younger 279 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:59,319 Speaker 3: than me, this book allows you to see how generationally 280 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,079 Speaker 3: you're impacted by what you're being fed. 281 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,280 Speaker 4: Were you shocked by the fact that we had so 282 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:06,600 Speaker 4: many notes that would come back to us? 283 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: Okay, that's the end of question. I can't. I can't. 284 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 1: I can't remember if it made it in because I 285 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 1: know we just did edits again. 286 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 3: Were we able to keep all of the narrations with 287 00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:18,679 Speaker 3: the Disney princesses. 288 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 5: I don't think that we. 289 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 1: I think maybe that was all that. 290 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 3: So that was another element, right, Like I went through 291 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 3: this I went through like wanting to include out we're 292 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:34,560 Speaker 3: like even growing up watching Disney movies, there's a savior 293 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,520 Speaker 3: complex that a man will always be the one to 294 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 3: come and save you and come and get you, or 295 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 3: you're willing to fucking give your voice away just to 296 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 3: be with a nigga and get legs, Like what the 297 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 3: fuck everything is for these men's And yeah, I think 298 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 3: that those narratives being given to me and fed to 299 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 3: me early on is why this is important. But kind 300 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 3: of like what Weezy said as well, like us leaning 301 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 3: into non monogamy so much and me expressing why I 302 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 3: don't want to be a mother, and the pressures that 303 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 3: society gives you to literally your value is placed on 304 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,080 Speaker 3: your womb, Like I feel like it's great to have 305 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 3: me share and weasy share our non traditional scope of life. Yes, 306 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,960 Speaker 3: because you're going to get that in this book. And 307 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 3: I think that that's what right now we're in the 308 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 3: ethical nominogamy women either sharing their you know, fertility battles 309 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 3: and journeys, maybe. 310 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 1: Not being able to have a kid. 311 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 3: Like to me, it's literally inappropriate now to ask a 312 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 3: woman why she doesn't have kids, because we're able to 313 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 3: share the struggle that so many women have with infertility. Yes, 314 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 3: and so I love that we're stepping away from that 315 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,720 Speaker 3: while also the government is trying to take our rights away. 316 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 5: So while the government is trying to force. 317 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:56,600 Speaker 3: Us well literally literally it's so that's why this book 318 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 3: is revelent now relevant. 319 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,200 Speaker 1: God damn it, God damn it. 320 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 6: It's relevant, it's revelant, it's revelatory, it's all the things. 321 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 5: Okay, so don't worry about. 322 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 1: It, God damn it. This is why we needed a writer, y'all. 323 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 1: I would have got words, y'all. Would have been reading. 324 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 6: Ship like, now, what can I say something that did 325 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 6: happen in this book? Sometimes I would read words and 326 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,920 Speaker 6: be like is this wor what? And I'd be like, 327 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 6: I think that they mean this. I'm gonna put that 328 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 6: in there and hope that I'm not right. 329 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:31,240 Speaker 1: I go hold you. 330 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 3: There was so many like she was like, yeah, so 331 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 3: I think we want to use this word. 332 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 5: I'm pretty sure this for sure? 333 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: You mean this. I don't think this word exists. Yeah, 334 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 1: that's the. 335 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 5: Word that did happen quite a bit. 336 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: More of education system. What do you want from me? 337 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 5: Okay, I'm reading Pennsylvania. 338 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 1: I didn't have no and now I just talk for 339 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 1: a living. Y'all know. Every week, y'all gonna get made 340 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 1: up words for me. Nothing that good. 341 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 5: Sorry reading no offense, but okay. 342 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 4: So the next question I wanted to ask you was 343 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:05,000 Speaker 4: what was the most unexpected thing about the process of 344 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 4: writing this book? 345 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,000 Speaker 3: First off, the fact that our proposal is nothing like 346 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 3: the ending book. 347 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 5: Nothing. 348 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:14,920 Speaker 3: So when we started the book process, I was still 349 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 3: in love in the most toxic way with my ex 350 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 3: and Weezy was newly single, having a fucking blast. 351 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:23,600 Speaker 1: Yep. 352 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 3: And during the year or so of writing this book, 353 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 3: I became single and literally dealing with my first heartbreak. 354 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 5: I was no, literally, you guys got the publishing deal. 355 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,359 Speaker 1: We got the publishing deal, and Weezy got an relation. 356 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,640 Speaker 4: And you had to tell me you're like I said, 357 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:43,480 Speaker 4: I hate like I don't know if you know, but 358 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 4: I don't have a man anymore. 359 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 5: I was like, oh, well that changes. 360 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:52,119 Speaker 3: That changes because I think we had decided to end 361 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 3: this proposal with and now I finally found love. 362 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,919 Speaker 4: I'm in love and I'm happy and I'm floating through 363 00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,159 Speaker 4: the air with happiness. 364 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 1: Like I went through all this shit and now I 365 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 1: got my person. 366 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 3: Bitch, we got the deal, the proposal gets approved, and 367 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,880 Speaker 3: I got to go to her like, hey, yes, so I. 368 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,960 Speaker 1: Know, we like wrote what these chapters will look like, Hey, bitch, they. 369 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 5: Change it, and how we're ending on a happy note, 370 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 5: but we're not. 371 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,119 Speaker 1: We're not like I literally is. 372 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,479 Speaker 5: Happy, though it is happiest note. 373 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 3: So it ended up being happy because so during the process, y'all, 374 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,280 Speaker 3: I'm healing and I know y'all got sick of hearing 375 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:34,439 Speaker 3: this nigga. So I found it difficult for any chapter 376 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 3: that I thought he would be in. 377 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,679 Speaker 1: I literally couldn't write because I was so angry. 378 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,959 Speaker 3: I was so angry that I was like, bitch, how 379 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,360 Speaker 3: am I supposed to write that I'm happy in this 380 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,639 Speaker 3: moment with a nigga that I know betrayed me, that 381 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,159 Speaker 3: hurt me. 382 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,520 Speaker 1: And I'm literally like, hey, we gonna lead them chapters 383 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 1: put in. 384 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,200 Speaker 3: So I think there were like three or four chapters 385 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,120 Speaker 3: that were literally all about him and what we'd experienced 386 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 3: during our relationship. 387 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:01,159 Speaker 1: And as we started writing, there started come coming. 388 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 3: Epiphanies and other things. I was like, cut that chapter 389 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 3: out of that nigga. We could cut that one too. 390 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 1: Chapter is him. 391 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,359 Speaker 3: They're the old chapter that was supposed to be about 392 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,480 Speaker 3: him in the dungeon, and it wasn't at all about you. 393 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 1: It's about me, And. 394 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,040 Speaker 3: So I was really glad that therapy was present because 395 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:23,640 Speaker 3: I was so angry with how that relationship ended that 396 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 3: I had a block up on how to present him 397 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 3: as a good, loving person, which was needed, which was 398 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 3: needed for what the themes would be of those chapters. Yeah, 399 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,639 Speaker 3: and so through the process we got away from that motherfucker. 400 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 3: But yeah, I think that that during the process, I 401 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:47,200 Speaker 3: was surprised at how much you don't realize your life 402 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 3: literally changes by the week. 403 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 1: Yes, so from friends. 404 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 3: That are no longer around, business partners that are no 405 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,120 Speaker 3: longer around, your mental health that fucking goes up and 406 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 3: down like a mother fucker. I went from writing her 407 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 3: and her coming to my apartment to her knowing that 408 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,400 Speaker 3: these were my last couple of weeks in this apartment 409 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 3: because I was relocated to another state, and so the 410 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 3: process of really being able to be like, damn bitch, 411 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 3: a lot of happened in a year. 412 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: This year is luck it happened in a year. Yeah. 413 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 5: So yeah, then the next question is what is your 414 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,080 Speaker 5: favorite chapter? 415 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 3: My favorite chapter that I wrote, I would say, is. 416 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:36,520 Speaker 1: My abortion chapter. 417 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:37,640 Speaker 5: It's really good. 418 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:43,240 Speaker 1: My abortion chapter. You didn't have very many edits. The 419 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 1: editor didn't have very many at it. 420 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 3: No, it's just so I did all of my own 421 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 3: research and plugged in the stats. 422 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 1: That I wanted again, the Roe v. 423 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 3: Wade reference, being able to include my mom's feelings, being 424 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:02,080 Speaker 3: able to include Kita's feelings, being able to go back 425 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,760 Speaker 3: to that day. 426 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,320 Speaker 2: I was. 427 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 3: I was proud that I I fucking wrote that chapter. 428 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 3: Like I wrote the hell out of that chapter. That 429 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 3: was my favorite chapter to write. I was really good, 430 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:19,080 Speaker 3: and I do like that. The chapters that I think 431 00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:23,120 Speaker 3: got better with edits would be the Unicorn chapter because 432 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,680 Speaker 3: I think they tried to get rid of it because 433 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,520 Speaker 3: it seemed like it was the same thing, and I 434 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,600 Speaker 3: was like, no, the fucking ain't. So I just had 435 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,200 Speaker 3: to do it through a different lens. 436 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,560 Speaker 5: Which was it made it better. 437 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 4: Like that's the thing that I think a lot of 438 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 4: people don't know, like you go through so many edits 439 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 4: in a book, because it keeps getting better and better 440 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 4: and better the more you work on it. 441 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 3: I do want to share with y'all BTS moment of 442 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 3: transparency because I thought I had a fucking genius idea 443 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,320 Speaker 3: and it ended up being the fucking death of us. 444 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 1: What was it? So, y'all? 445 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 3: Within this book again, because it was important for me 446 00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 3: to tie pop culture, we do this thing where as women, 447 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,320 Speaker 3: the patriarch is our fucking. 448 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,120 Speaker 5: Uh patriarchy keep us down. 449 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 1: The patriarchy keeps us down, and as a matriarch, we 450 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:12,679 Speaker 1: will overcome it. 451 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 3: Yes, so my ass, before every chapter we have a 452 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:25,760 Speaker 3: patriarchal bullshitch and a matriarchal reply. Yes from celebrities and 453 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,080 Speaker 3: philosophers and politicians throughout history. 454 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:30,760 Speaker 1: Yes, y'all. 455 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:35,640 Speaker 3: For legal reasons, we had to cite to the tea 456 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 3: at where the fuck this was. 457 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: We couldn't use tweets because of some other shit. 458 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 3: We had to go in and fucking at the end, 459 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,359 Speaker 3: we had to change so much because we had to 460 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:46,880 Speaker 3: be able to cite everything. 461 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,800 Speaker 5: It was painful. 462 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,560 Speaker 1: I was on vacation, mind you. 463 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,320 Speaker 3: It was so painful, and I'm like, well, bitch, we 464 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 3: gotta do it because I want to say I want. 465 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:55,400 Speaker 1: This in the book. 466 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 5: I was literally in my hotel room. My husband was livid. 467 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 3: And we were looking up quotes, and mind you, quotes 468 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,200 Speaker 3: relate to the chapters yes, So I'm literally googling. 469 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm googling celebrities that don't believe women. 470 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:17,560 Speaker 3: Should have autonomy of their body, celebrities that are pro abortion, politicians. 471 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,040 Speaker 1: That put bills up like and I'm literally spent. 472 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:23,399 Speaker 3: I'm I'm going to spend We quote Belle Hooks, I 473 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,760 Speaker 3: quote Share, we quote Tracy Ellis Fross, and then we 474 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,960 Speaker 3: have to send them literal like transcriptions and YouTube videos 475 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 3: and cite everywhere. These people actually said this ship, and 476 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 3: I was like, this is work. I want to keep 477 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 3: this ship in the book. 478 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 1: It's so good. 479 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,680 Speaker 5: It ends up being so good. But it was such 480 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:41,360 Speaker 5: a pain in the. 481 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,879 Speaker 3: It was a pain in the ass. I ain't even 482 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,679 Speaker 3: gonna hold you. It was a whole pain. 483 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:45,160 Speaker 1: In the ass. 484 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,680 Speaker 4: And then the last question I want to ask last question, 485 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,480 Speaker 4: what do you think is the most surprising thing that 486 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:52,480 Speaker 4: readers will learn about you? 487 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,159 Speaker 1: That I have a heart. Goddamn it, it was not 488 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,200 Speaker 1: just a black hole there. 489 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,640 Speaker 3: I know you guys think that I'm you know, this 490 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:08,119 Speaker 3: this villainous bitch. No, I think it's gonna be I 491 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 3: think I think a lot of people believe I'm stuck 492 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 3: in my ways, and I think what's going to be 493 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,440 Speaker 3: amazing and incredible to read. Is how much you actually 494 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 3: get to see my growth. I know the actual members 495 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,880 Speaker 3: of the whore Hive who have been tuning in, it's 496 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,000 Speaker 3: visible to them. 497 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 1: Maybe not that every week listener will know or be able. 498 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,360 Speaker 3: To actually pick that out and how I've changed from 499 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,439 Speaker 3: the start of this podcast to now. But when you 500 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:39,199 Speaker 3: read the book, I think my ability to hold myself accountable, 501 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 3: my ability to hold. 502 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 1: Up a mirror and be like you as a raggedy bitch. 503 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:51,920 Speaker 3: My ability to know my decisions were poor and came 504 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:56,440 Speaker 3: from not knowing came from me being selectively ignorant. I 505 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:03,960 Speaker 3: think that's a really good I I'm enjoying the hell 506 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 3: out of it, and I think for anyone that listens 507 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,200 Speaker 3: to that pod, you'll be able to hear just more 508 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,320 Speaker 3: of me, like because I do look at this the 509 00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 3: world and life as it is from like such a 510 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,679 Speaker 3: different goal that I think people do. I do think 511 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:22,119 Speaker 3: the government is fucking putting us in a bubble. Like 512 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 3: I believe all those things, but I believe I have 513 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 3: one life to live and I'm just fucking trying to 514 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,840 Speaker 3: figure it out. I don't think I know everything, and 515 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,280 Speaker 3: I think some people may think. 516 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 1: I believe that I know everything, that I'm always right. 517 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,200 Speaker 3: You will read in the book that a bitch been 518 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 3: wrong about relationships, how I've navigated things, and that I've 519 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,200 Speaker 3: also come in that I've also needed. 520 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 1: To unlearn a lot. 521 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:49,520 Speaker 3: Yes, and my willingness to do so, I think has 522 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:50,200 Speaker 3: gotten me here. 523 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm so proud of this book. I 524 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 1: think this book. 525 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,200 Speaker 3: If you hate me, you don't like me after you 526 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,720 Speaker 3: read it, you don't love you don't love it. But yeah, no, 527 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,480 Speaker 3: I'm just so proud that I laid everything out on 528 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,119 Speaker 3: paper in a way that I'm proud of, really, in 529 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,520 Speaker 3: a way that I'm so proud of. And I'm so 530 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,239 Speaker 3: glad that you were able to like do this with us, 531 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,640 Speaker 3: and that you were able to have us on our 532 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 3: separate journeys but then also make our voices come together 533 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,560 Speaker 3: for the bigger picture, which is that as women we 534 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,439 Speaker 3: are we are all on these journeys. We have to 535 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,920 Speaker 3: overcome the trauma. We can't we can't allow this world 536 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 3: to make us victims and keep us hidden by our fears. Nope, 537 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 3: that we have to overcome it with power. And that's 538 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 3: what this book I think will do to any and 539 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:40,040 Speaker 3: everyone literally when they're like, who's the demo women from 540 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,360 Speaker 3: the ages of eighteen to forty five? 541 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:45,320 Speaker 1: Oh, I'll go to I ain't gonna hold you. 542 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 3: My mama said, I'm jealous, y'all get to do these. 543 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,480 Speaker 3: My mama doing some of these things now. And she 544 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:53,200 Speaker 3: just reminded me she's over fifty five. So eighteen to sixty, yeah, 545 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,720 Speaker 3: because I don't think the font is big enough for 546 00:26:55,760 --> 00:27:01,479 Speaker 3: everyone over sixty. But Kendall, you can make the worst thing, 547 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:03,199 Speaker 3: get it. 548 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,240 Speaker 1: We will also have an audible. 549 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,399 Speaker 3: Version of this as well, where we get to read it. 550 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,879 Speaker 3: I don't know the budget, but I just listen. I 551 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,000 Speaker 3: told you we'll packers. 552 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,000 Speaker 1: Sounds like a movie. I want. I want y'all to 553 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 1: held it. When I say I'm. 554 00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 3: Splash, and I need you all to hear splash, like 555 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,840 Speaker 3: I want sound design for our audio book. 556 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,639 Speaker 1: I don't know. Simon the shooter is gonna do that. 557 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:21,000 Speaker 1: I don't know. 558 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:22,680 Speaker 3: Like when I say I'm getting hit from the back, 559 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,479 Speaker 3: I need you to hear my ask getting hit from 560 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,480 Speaker 3: the back. You feel me, don't. 561 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,199 Speaker 1: I don't know if they're gonna they're I don't know. 562 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 1: You don't think they're gonna. 563 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,720 Speaker 3: Lie to I need my ask getting clapped for the 564 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:37,359 Speaker 3: audio book. 565 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,639 Speaker 4: I don't see I don't see the team we're working 566 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,200 Speaker 4: with over there, saying let's get the ass clapping going. 567 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:47,120 Speaker 3: But no, this book is literally for women of all 568 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,879 Speaker 3: ages and colors. Yes, like our relationships with men and 569 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:57,000 Speaker 3: women us navigating sex, it's the same. It's the same 570 00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,639 Speaker 3: ups and downs that you have, whether you're monogamous. No, 571 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,680 Speaker 3: I'm gonna whether you like women, whether you like men, 572 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,960 Speaker 3: whether you like it from the back, whether you like. 573 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,160 Speaker 1: It from the front, whether you like or whether you don't. 574 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 1: It's all this. 575 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:11,200 Speaker 4: But the most important lesson to me and this book 576 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:15,160 Speaker 4: is self love. Self love, and if you don't love yourself, 577 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,640 Speaker 4: no one else can love you. 578 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 3: Which can I tell you through line? This is how 579 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:24,280 Speaker 3: this book fucking happened. First chapter of mine is self pleasure. 580 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 3: Last book is admitting I love myself. Yeah, so literally, 581 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:33,160 Speaker 3: self love is how I navigate with pleasure and in progression. 582 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,640 Speaker 3: And what I learned about myself is to love myself. 583 00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,760 Speaker 3: So it's a full journey. Then I'm still on. By 584 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,840 Speaker 3: the way, we don't have all the answers, and you'll 585 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,320 Speaker 3: see that in the book because we're not experts on life. 586 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 3: But it's a great book and I'm so glad that 587 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:46,840 Speaker 3: we get to share it with you guys. 588 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,680 Speaker 1: Sas, make sure you order your book now. 589 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,240 Speaker 3: Pre order will help us get to our New York 590 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:57,400 Speaker 3: Times bestseller's goal, and we can't do it without you, guys, 591 00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 3: So go to any of your independent booksellers is Amazon, 592 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,360 Speaker 3: Barnes and Nobles, No holds barred. 593 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:08,160 Speaker 1: Make sure you cop that and thank you guys. Make 594 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,280 Speaker 1: sure you subscribe, follow us all the things. 595 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,520 Speaker 3: If you want to watch this, you can always join 596 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 3: our Patreon Patreon dot com Backslash Horrible Decisions. It's another 597 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 3: hunt day. You've got decisions, and the decision you gotta 598 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 3: make is tour. 599 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 1: By No Guard Now, thank you guys. Until next week 600 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:26,760 Speaker 1: by