1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,960 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of two and soon to be three 4 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,159 Speaker 1: and a practicing physician. We are two working parents who 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:17,479 Speaker 1: love our careers and our families. Welcome to best of 6 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: both worlds. Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,760 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,560 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:33,159 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:38,240 Speaker 1: This is Laura. We have a very exciting special episode today, 11 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:43,600 Speaker 1: an episode about how our introduction is now wrong, outdated. 12 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: Sarah is the proud mother of three, So congratulations, Sarah, 13 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: thank you so much. Yes, we will have to defer 14 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 1: re recording our intro. I think until the new year. 15 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 1: That'll be a nice fresh start for us all. But yeah, 16 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: we're so excited. We welcomed our number three on December eleventh, 17 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: and now it's starting to actually feel like the new normal. 18 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: It's very exciting. There are five of you, there are 19 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,839 Speaker 1: you know, you think about your family and certain units 20 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: of number and then it's it's different. So I know, 21 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: when I see us all together in pictures, it's like, whoa, 22 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:29,640 Speaker 1: that's a that's a lot of exactly. They multiply photos 23 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: of all of you on Instagram. You had your family photo, right, 24 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that was so my father in law 25 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,320 Speaker 1: took that, and I think he took like, I mean, 26 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 1: it wasn't a glamour shot, like we were not dressed 27 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:45,399 Speaker 1: nicely or anything, and he took maybe like twenty frames. 28 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: And the one that we got that was the best 29 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: one was so bad, but it was still the best 30 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: one because in every other one, one of our kids 31 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 1: or me like ruined too many variable Well, that's why 32 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 1: for our Christmas card this year, wound up putting four 33 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: separate photos of the kids. Yeah, the car. It's like, 34 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 1: I think we're going to do that for a New 35 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 1: Year's all for you know, looking normal. Yeah, So let's 36 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 1: just I guess, share the details you want to share 37 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 1: and how to I'm right as well, since I've strung 38 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: all of you along from the beginning here. But yeah, 39 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: you know, this was my third pregnancy going to forty 40 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: weeks gestation, so it does happen sometimes like that. I 41 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: started to get a little frustrated as we approach the 42 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: due date, and because I somehow thought, well, if I 43 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 1: had the other two it forty weeks, what's the chances 44 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,639 Speaker 1: that I'm really going to hold on to this one 45 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,399 Speaker 1: for that long? But apparently maybe they're pretty high. Maybe 46 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,920 Speaker 1: that just means that's what my body likes to do. 47 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,359 Speaker 1: Because I did have an induction scheduled, and there's nothing 48 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,800 Speaker 1: against inductions, but it was for forty weeks in one day, 49 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 1: and I was like, eh, do I really need to 50 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:54,919 Speaker 1: do that? When Annabel came on her own at forty 51 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 1: weeks in two days, so I ended up canceling it, 52 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 1: and then sure enough, at forty weeks in two days, 53 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 1: I went to like a regular ob appointment and I 54 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 1: had been contracting a lot the night before, and they're like, eh, 55 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,359 Speaker 1: you need to do a little non stress test, which 56 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: is just when they listened to your the baby's heart 57 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: rate through a monitor because their heart rate was a 58 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: little bit high, probably mostly because honestly, I was like 59 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 1: up the whole night before, like because it was painful. 60 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: But how did you then pause here? How did I 61 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: tell this story? But how did you know those weren't 62 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: like the real contractions? Well they were, but they were 63 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 1: every like ten to fifteen minutes. It was like, well, 64 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 1: what am I gonna do about that? And that's kind 65 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: of how Annabel came to I was like up the 66 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: entire night, like they were big enough to wake me up, 67 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: but not frequent enough to like do anything about things. 68 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 1: So it was it was a teaser. And then at 69 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: around five six am they actually pretty much stopped, but 70 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: then they they kind of restarted when I got to 71 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: the OB and while they were monitoring me, I was like, oh, 72 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: now I think they're like every six minutes. Now they're 73 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: every five minutes. Wait a second, and they were starting 74 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: to work more, so they were kind of they were 75 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 1: kind of hinting that they were planning to admit me 76 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: anyway because they felt like, oh, well, she's far enough 77 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 1: along and this heart rate, we don't like this. But 78 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: then when the OB came, he's like, yeah, I think 79 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: you'll just have the baby. If I break your water, 80 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 1: you're just gonna have her. And I was like, and 81 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: your husband had come with you to this a point, yes, yeah, 82 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: he had, Like that was smart, exactly, Props to us. 83 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: So it's actually amazing because the one thing I had 84 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: been dreading about this delivery was that we live thirty 85 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 1: minutes away from the hospital in no traffic, and like 86 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 1: an hour plus away in traffic. So I was like, 87 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,480 Speaker 1: what if I'm just you know, in like the worst 88 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,159 Speaker 1: part of waver and we're driving and we didn't have 89 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: to do any of that. So maybe my body was 90 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: just like, Okay, yeah, I knew what you wanted to avoid. 91 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: I've just avoided it for you. But yeah, once he 92 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 1: broke the water, things progressed very quickly. I actually did 93 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 1: not get my epidural in as timely of a fashion 94 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: I would as timely of a fashion as one might want. 95 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: I mean at that point, well, in retrospect, I should 96 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: have been like, do not break my water until it's 97 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: in place, because I'm already in a lot of pain, 98 00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,839 Speaker 1: But I was like a little too out of it 99 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: to be making demands, and like, to be honest, I 100 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: bet he was like, oh, I'll break her water before dinner, 101 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 1: eat dinner with my family, come back. I'm sure that's 102 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: how his mind was working. But what he didn't know 103 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 1: was that there were like three women in front of 104 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: me in line for epidurals. So at least I got 105 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: to see what getting to nine centimeters feels like not 106 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 1: the no, And eventually the epidural did get in my 107 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:28,279 Speaker 1: body and it was amazing, and then yeah, it was 108 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 1: a very quick exit and went really really well. She 109 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,720 Speaker 1: did have her cord tied around loosely twice, so it 110 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 1: was a little dramatic at the very end. But then 111 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 1: she cried very quickly, and I could tell. We were like, oh, 112 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 1: she's bigger because she was my biggest baby at seven 113 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,279 Speaker 1: pounds two ounces, and she's been such a good girl 114 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,600 Speaker 1: so far. You like, is she like the others or 115 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,560 Speaker 1: is she She's actually very reminiscent of Annabelle to me, 116 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,919 Speaker 1: And it's funny because I'm talking to Josh and I'm like, 117 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 1: do is it that we forgot what Cameron was like 118 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 1: because that was such a blur because annabel was such 119 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,039 Speaker 1: a toddler. Or annabel just made a bigger impression on 120 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: us because she was the first one, Or is this 121 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,039 Speaker 1: baby really more like a Cannibell? And I think it 122 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,480 Speaker 1: may be all of those things. But she's a little 123 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 1: more chill than Cameron was as a baby, and she 124 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: looks more like Annibelle, I think, although all three are 125 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,599 Speaker 1: definitely cut from Sarah looks at a picture on her blog, 126 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: what looks like three of the exact same baby. So 127 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 1: did yours look the same as newborns? Pretty much? So? 128 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:34,799 Speaker 1: I mean they all have similar you know, eyes and hair, 129 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: and they have the same chin, and I think you 130 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: need to have the same picture, pretty but it looks 131 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:45,040 Speaker 1: like a composite family thing. We celebrated my parents' fiftieth 132 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 1: wedding anniversary of the summer. We all went to the 133 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 1: beach for a week and one of the things we 134 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,160 Speaker 1: did is a baby guessing game. So all of us 135 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,719 Speaker 1: had baby pictures and we had to guess who was who. 136 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: And I think the only people who got my three 137 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,919 Speaker 1: sons distinguished from each other. It was me and my 138 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,279 Speaker 1: sister in law. Oh that's so funny. I don't my 139 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 1: husband could not tell our three sons apart. Wow, Oh 140 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 1: that's really funny. Yeah, but you know they are who 141 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: they are. Clearly you got the exact same Yeah, they 142 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 1: don't look the same now, I neither do Annabel and Cameron. 143 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 1: So I don't expect that Genevieve is going to be 144 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: a carbon copy growing up, but she she just is 145 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: very reminiscent of Annabel, and she sleeps like annabel which 146 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 1: is a good thing. I'm not saying she's like one 147 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: of those miraculous like, oh I slept six hours last night, 148 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: Like no, none of my kids pull that. But she's 149 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 1: been doing like three to four hours stretches at night 150 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 1: pretty regularly, which is a godsend. Yeah, no, that's nice. 151 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:48,080 Speaker 1: And screaming like, no, she doesn't scream. I mean, I'm 152 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: totally drinxing myself because she's only ten days old. We know, 153 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 1: everything just likes to change with newborns, so she maybe 154 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: a totally different baby at four weeks or six weeks, 155 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 1: but as of now, no, there's like there's no screaming, 156 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,680 Speaker 1: like ever contented little baby she is. She does like 157 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: to eat a lot, like during the day, I mean, 158 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 1: and I think I had this with at least Annabelle, 159 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 1: maybe the other two, like hourly honestly, like in the 160 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 1: morning it'll she'll last a little longer, but then the 161 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: afternoon she's like on my chest every hour or even 162 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: less sometimes. So I have had some you know, TMI 163 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: like pain, especially on one side, which I'm trying to 164 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 1: to deal with. But that's honestly, that just happens. If 165 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,560 Speaker 1: we have any you know, first time soon to be 166 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: parents listening to this podcast. They you know, there's a 167 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: certain like breastfeeding shall I say, militancy out there, but 168 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,960 Speaker 1: people will try to convince you things that, oh, if 169 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 1: it hurts when you're breastfeeding, you're doing it wrong. Now 170 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,199 Speaker 1: it just oh yeah, all three of mine hurt, and 171 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 1: they all hurt more on one side than the other. 172 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 1: I will say, I think the pain is a little 173 00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 1: more persistent with this one, and I'm like, hey, this 174 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 1: is my I should be the best at it by now. 175 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 1: But I'm sure it all has to do with the 176 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,080 Speaker 1: shape of their mouth and how they like to lash 177 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: and how aggressively they suck and all that kind. I 178 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,960 Speaker 1: also think it's how long since your last one you've 179 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 1: been I was thinking that too, because I remember with 180 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: Cameron being fine in a week, but I really had 181 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: only been like I'd had Annabel less than a year 182 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,839 Speaker 1: prior breastfeeding. So that that's you and you would be 183 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:26,439 Speaker 1: a great person to have that experiment in my experiment. Yes, no, well, 184 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 1: I mean with my fourth I had pain on one 185 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 1: side right up until the six week appointment, like I 186 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: actually had my ob Oh that makes me feel better 187 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 1: and then it did eventually go Yeah, it goes away. 188 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,440 Speaker 1: And so that's the thing when people say, oh, if 189 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 1: it hurts your doing wrong, well, okay, if it hurts 190 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,320 Speaker 1: it like two three months, yes there's a prod like 191 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: it's that makes her at a year or something. But 192 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,679 Speaker 1: certainly in the first few weeks, soon we got a 193 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:52,440 Speaker 1: tough en up and they're just feeding so frequently, and 194 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,719 Speaker 1: and honestly, I think Annabel was similar, Like I think 195 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: it lasted a couple of weeks, but I just I 196 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: looked at my so my blog has been so valuable 197 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,960 Speaker 1: to me because you realize how much you forget. So 198 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: I went back, like I actually was feeling really kind 199 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 1: of down the first few days after delivery. And I 200 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 1: don't know if that's more an effect of the hormones 201 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:12,559 Speaker 1: like coming out of my body or the fact that, 202 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 1: by the way, I've had a viral illness since like delivery, 203 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,320 Speaker 1: because you know you need that when you're having a newborn. 204 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:20,079 Speaker 1: And I was so afraid she's going to get it, 205 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 1: which I'm still afraid, but I don't know. I was 206 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: like super anxious about it, and I was like, wasn't 207 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,560 Speaker 1: this so easy last time? And I went back to 208 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: my blog and I was like, oh, clearly it was not, 209 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: and that really helped me. But I did notice a 210 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 1: comment I made like, oh, a week and my breasts 211 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,560 Speaker 1: don't hurt it all, Like, hey, but I think it 212 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 1: was just as bad with Animo as it was the same. 213 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: Nice and your theory part of it, and you're how 214 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 1: are you feeling other than that? Are you? I'm feeling 215 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,960 Speaker 1: better now. If this virus would go away with the 216 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,320 Speaker 1: coffee and stuff, I'd be even better. But no, Otherwise, 217 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: I'm having more energy. I can like walk around, I 218 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: can kind of pick the other kids up a little bit. 219 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: The recovery, you know, in terms of like from the delivery, 220 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 1: has been pretty much, very very easy, which is great, 221 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: and I'm thankful I've never had to have a c 222 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,080 Speaker 1: section because I'm sure that is much more well. I 223 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 1: was aspired to. There's this woman in my church growing 224 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: up who a farm family, and basically she had like 225 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: eight children and she was like milking the cows, went 226 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: into labor, had the baby the cows. It's like, which 227 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: is it was never quite that, but that do birth 228 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 1: really well? I don't know if I'm not good, but no, 229 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,200 Speaker 1: I think I do think that part gets easier the 230 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,280 Speaker 1: more you have because your body just kind of gets 231 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 1: them out faster. And yeah, the pathway has been cleared, 232 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 1: so the family has some of everyone doing okay with it, 233 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: or there was definitely in the beginning, very some dramatic 234 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: feelings that we notice in some of them. I mean, 235 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 1: I see, of course, right, oh yeah, no, the kids, 236 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,400 Speaker 1: I mean, and actually, Annabel has already settled in really 237 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:07,080 Speaker 1: really well, she's been really helpful. I'm really impressed. Actually, 238 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 1: I think she's really enjoyed. My parents just got here, 239 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:12,000 Speaker 1: so she's really enjoying the attention that they'll be stewing 240 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: on her and feeling very very very grown up, like 241 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 1: maybe more grown up than she felt before. Cameron definitely 242 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 1: had some feelings, uh, And we're just trying to make 243 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,559 Speaker 1: sure he gets lots and lots of attention and kind 244 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 1: of special attention and individualized attention, because you know, sometimes 245 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,959 Speaker 1: your kids are more sensitive than you may have taken 246 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,079 Speaker 1: them for. That's been a lesson for me. Well, I 247 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,480 Speaker 1: mean it's hard like you've just he's been the baby 248 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:40,880 Speaker 1: of the family. For the baby here somebody else who's 249 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 1: coming in and you know, of course you're going to 250 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: feel differently. Yeah, Like one thing that's been great is 251 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,559 Speaker 1: like when guests come and they go straight to the kid, 252 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: like straight to Cameron and Annabel and then like then 253 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 1: acknowledge the baby later. I'm like, thank you. That's so 254 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 1: helpful because when people come and they like they jump 255 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 1: right to the cute little baby, that the kids notice 256 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: it like big time. So that's not something that I 257 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,439 Speaker 1: had thought of. But like I'm going to be seeing 258 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: my friend who just she was just a couple months 259 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,240 Speaker 1: ahead of me, and I'm going to be like paying 260 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 1: so much attention to her four year old because now 261 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 1: I know like he's gonna want that, he's gonna want. 262 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 1: And also, I mean, just what I had always found 263 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: is I mean, given that the baby is pretty inert, 264 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: and we'll just like lie there, except for you know, 265 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: when you're feeding, you can, especially if other people around 266 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 1: like watching the baby, go play with the other kids, 267 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 1: because then that's what they're very much like, oh, you know, 268 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,959 Speaker 1: I want mommy. And if we don't like actively get 269 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,520 Speaker 1: in on that, then in the next an if you're 270 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 1: sitting down to nurse the baby and they're like I 271 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 1: want this, I want you know, it's like as soon 272 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 1: as you sit down to do it because I want 273 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 1: your attention. It's like it can tell you're focusing on 274 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:52,840 Speaker 1: the baby, so but not that it ever truly solves 275 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:57,160 Speaker 1: the problems. Just so any I don't know new revelations 276 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,720 Speaker 1: that came out as a mother of three versus too 277 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,680 Speaker 1: not yet. I am way too new at this to 278 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 1: be giving any stage advice to anyone, I guess, except 279 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 1: the only thing is to be really really intentional about 280 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:15,559 Speaker 1: giving your other kids a lot of focus because they'll 281 00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:17,319 Speaker 1: be affected by it. That's the only thing I've really 282 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 1: learned so far. That and I stand. I know, weird, 283 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 1: we differ on this one, but I have never felt 284 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,480 Speaker 1: like I've needed a baby. No, So if anyone's debating it, 285 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,240 Speaker 1: Laura loved having a baby nurse, but I'm someone who 286 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 1: three out of three I like, I don't even know 287 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 1: what I would do with them, because my babies eat 288 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 1: and then I put them down, and then if they 289 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 1: want to eat, I'm going to feed them. So I'm like, 290 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 1: what would you? Yeah, I think we're more fussy apart 291 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 1: from the eating. I think a lot of babies are. 292 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,000 Speaker 1: I think a lot off you are. The mind's to 293 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 1: be cut from a similar mold, so take but if 294 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 1: you know, they're not actually hungry, they're just making noise, 295 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 1: I have somebody else deal with. I think my babies 296 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 1: just love food, like I don't even know if they 297 00:14:55,760 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: care if they're hungry, but if you like put yeah, which, which, 298 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,240 Speaker 1: by the way, I mean not to derail the babysite here, 299 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 1: but we we got a letter from a reader. Oh yeah, yes, 300 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 1: we should want to acknowledge who took issue a bit 301 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:16,480 Speaker 1: with our whole like pumping focused maternity leave return to 302 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 1: Work episode when she pointed out that one obvious way 303 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 1: to not have the whole pumping stress is to not pump, which, 304 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: of course, you know, Sarah and I have both used 305 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: you know, formula at various points with our babies. I 306 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 1: mean we've primarily nursed for the first few months, but 307 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,680 Speaker 1: you know, you started supplementing or else like later on 308 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 1: used formula with them. And if you you know, you 309 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,960 Speaker 1: could also do a mix, right, like you could not 310 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 1: pump during the day and just feed your baby, and 311 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,520 Speaker 1: I did. Actually I had a great experience with Annabel 312 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 1: which at around nine months I did quit pumping. And 313 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: I know, like that's long, and you could choose whatever 314 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 1: time you want. But then she still breastsped morning and 315 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,720 Speaker 1: night until thirteen months, and she got formula during the 316 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 1: day and that was like a very wonderful time because 317 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,520 Speaker 1: I still got to like enjoy that relationship, she still 318 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: got some breast milk. Work became a million times easy. 319 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: I think the reason we focused on it is well, 320 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 1: partly from my perspective, that's by far for me, the 321 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 1: most challenging thing about going back to work afterwards. I mean, 322 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 1: if I actually can't, I'm like, what would be hard 323 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 1: if you didn't have to do well? But very true, 324 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 1: many people make the conscious decision not to. Yeah, put 325 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: that out, and that is absolutely okay. And in fact, 326 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,320 Speaker 1: you know, as some people pointed out, like if you 327 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 1: are staying longer at work because you're taking all these 328 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 1: pumping breaks and then not getting home to your baby, 329 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 1: that's or other kids. Yeah, not actually that big a win. 330 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:47,200 Speaker 1: So and scientifically most of the you know, there certainly 331 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 1: are benefits for doing it longer, but the biggest bang 332 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 1: for your buck is the first few months. So you know, 333 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 1: even from a scientific standpoint, you know, I think with Cameron, 334 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 1: I only pumped for about six months, and like, meaning 335 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 1: I only pumped for three month, So I like, you know, 336 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 1: fed at home for three months, pumped for three months, 337 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:06,200 Speaker 1: and then just gave up. And you know, everyone has 338 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,719 Speaker 1: their stopping point. But I felt like, you know, medically, 339 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 1: he had gotten a lot of the benefit and it 340 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,439 Speaker 1: just wasn't working for me anymore. And I definitely I 341 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:18,239 Speaker 1: applaud mothers who figure out when that balance has been 342 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,879 Speaker 1: reached and do what they need to do, because that 343 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 1: that point might come at two months. It may come. 344 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,439 Speaker 1: Some people don't pump it all. They're you know, the 345 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,600 Speaker 1: generation before us, most babies were not breast fled, and 346 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:32,600 Speaker 1: people have done just fun. You know, families where one 347 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,879 Speaker 1: kid wasn't breastfed for some reason because they had a 348 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,000 Speaker 1: milk intolerance or something, and you certainly can't tell the 349 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 1: difference when they're ten years old, or you cannot at all. 350 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,680 Speaker 1: We did not mean to exclude those, you know, and 351 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 1: so yes, if whether you breastfeed or not, it does 352 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:51,639 Speaker 1: not make you a better or worse mother, and really 353 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,879 Speaker 1: up to individual families and what works for you. So 354 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,119 Speaker 1: we want to put that out there. Also want to 355 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 1: put out that the public service announcement of getting the 356 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:05,840 Speaker 1: epidural when you can ha. Yes, we have an anesthesiologist. Well, 357 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,120 Speaker 1: she's about to be finished with her training that commented 358 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: and said, there's no scientific literature that says you have 359 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 1: to be dilated to a specific number of centimeters prior 360 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,959 Speaker 1: to the epidurals. So I think she even provided the reference. 361 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,920 Speaker 1: So if anybody's about to deliver and wants to avoid 362 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,879 Speaker 1: that conversation, they should bring a copy of the article 363 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,879 Speaker 1: for some evidence based Yes, I use that term for 364 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,560 Speaker 1: some evidence based, you know, information to give the ob 365 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 1: if they're saying you have to be a certain amount, 366 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:32,960 Speaker 1: if you're in a lot of pain, then you can 367 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:36,200 Speaker 1: get enough, yes, exactly. That's because that is the point 368 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 1: if you want one. If you want one, ye, no, 369 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,159 Speaker 1: And it doesn't increase your risk of sc section or anything, 370 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,160 Speaker 1: and in fact may help you relax and actually get 371 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,720 Speaker 1: the baby out. So always a good thing as well 372 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,880 Speaker 1: well anything else you want to share on the earth 373 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 1: or first No, I mean I will say I don't 374 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 1: want to come across as completely like this is so easy, 375 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:00,960 Speaker 1: because it is, there have been some challenges. I actually 376 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,119 Speaker 1: feel much better now about a week out than I 377 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 1: did if we had recorded this three or four days in. 378 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 1: There might have been like crying interspersed. So I'm glad 379 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: we didn't so low feelings or worries like I had 380 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:13,159 Speaker 1: this feeling like, oh my god, what did I do 381 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,119 Speaker 1: to my other kids? I shouldn't have done this because 382 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,400 Speaker 1: now they're not getting the attention that they need. Like, honestly, 383 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:21,120 Speaker 1: like really strong stuff was going on. That's normal, and 384 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 1: it may get better even a week from then. So 385 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 1: do not despair or think that I'm saying that this 386 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,879 Speaker 1: is like the easiest time ever, because it's not. But 387 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,919 Speaker 1: I think we're starting to settle into a routine, and 388 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,200 Speaker 1: I'm at the same time as it not being easy, 389 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,480 Speaker 1: street I am actually enjoying it a lot, a lot. 390 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,720 Speaker 1: She's really cute. She's so cute. I mean, it's like, 391 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,720 Speaker 1: I'm kind of obsessed. I'm obsessed to I keep looking 392 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:47,880 Speaker 1: over at the photos. It's just like, oh, especially now 393 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 1: that my little guy is almost three years old, I'm like, oh, 394 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: and you're not tempted for a number five. If I 395 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 1: were tempted, I still I'm not sure that it would 396 00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,440 Speaker 1: be a very good idea. Oh my gosh, it's funny, 397 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,200 Speaker 1: you know, I didn't I didn't think of having four 398 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:07,360 Speaker 1: children that the uh you know, biological clock ticking thing 399 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,879 Speaker 1: would bother me at all, but you know you still 400 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:17,359 Speaker 1: get the pain. I'm thirty nine years old. Wow, more babies. 401 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 1: I don't need more babies. You know that. It's funny 402 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 1: that biology is is what it is. It makes you 403 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 1: think it's very strong. Well, I think we're done with three. Actually, 404 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 1: I'm very firmly you know, I'm sure I will have 405 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,560 Speaker 1: the same pangs, but at the same time, from a 406 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,159 Speaker 1: practical standpoint, this is perfect. And I'm going to dis 407 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,960 Speaker 1: count my blessings and be thrilled that I have at 408 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:45,159 Speaker 1: this point three healthy children. So well, congratulate that, Sarah, 409 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,960 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Little Genevieve can be everyone's love 410 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,920 Speaker 1: of the week because she's very very yes, oh, thank 411 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 1: you so much. And we will be back next week 412 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,679 Speaker 1: with some twenty eighteen goals, which are one of my 413 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,920 Speaker 1: favorite things to listen to you on other people's podcasts. 414 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,720 Speaker 1: So I hope you guys come back that maybe another 415 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:07,360 Speaker 1: show in real form after that, Yeah, exactly. All right, Well, 416 00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,360 Speaker 1: this has been best of both worlds. Tune in next 417 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,399 Speaker 1: week for more on making work and life fit together. 418 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 419 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:22,440 Speaker 1: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, 420 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 421 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,400 Speaker 1: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please 422 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and 423 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 1: life work together.